Sometimes It Takes a Gun to the Head
Rating: G
Characters: Zoe & Mal
Pairing: M/I
Word Count: 2,027
A/N: This is part three to A Cargo Smuggler, His Girl, and Her...Well, You'll See. It is set after the smuffly second part, So Much for Fantasies written by
browncoat_2x2 because I refuse to believe that Mal and Inara are NOT doing it. Cameo by Sushi, who is getting rather full of himself.
Zoë knocked once on his hatch and pushed it open.
"You decent, sir?”
“Mostly,” came the muffled response. “Jin lai.”
She stepped down a few rungs and then dropped lightly to the floor.
Mal stood at his sink, shaving. He was dressed from the waist down, with his suspenders hanging loosely around his hips.
“Zao hao.”
His eyes met hers in the mirror and asked the question in the way they had.
She tossed the leather pouch full of coin onto his desk in answer, and dropped down on his bunk.
“Didn’t have a speck of trouble. You were right ‘bout the fair bein’ a good cover. Old man's got another job. Told him we’d talk and let him know before we left.”
He nodded, concentrating on his task.
“Quiet job’d be nice. Jayne?”
“Behaved. Watched over River.” She glanced around his bunk, wondering if anything ever changed. Mal’s bunk was the only place they could really be themselves, and when she was down here with him it was just like old times. There were no prying eyes here, trying to figure out their relationship, trying to decipher their short code.
Wash had called it twin-speak, telling her about twins who had their own language. ‘Are you sure you and Mal aren’t twins separated at birth?’ he’d ask, almost seriously. Wash had found their codependency, as he called it, disturbing. He’d make the comment that people never got him and Zöe, and her eyes would meet Mal’s. Ai ya! What would they think about them?
“Simon and Kaylee?”
She made a noncommittal sound down in her throat that had him frowning at his reflection.
“Huh.”
“Need to spend some time in town today; wash some clothes, go by the tannery - stitchin’ on my gunbelt’s worked loose down the outside - and I need a new shower cap. Jayne stole mine.”
His eyes asked the question.
“Didn’t even want to know.”
“Got a few things to do my own self, then we’ll meet up and see them boys about that job.”
He finished shaving and reached for his towel. His hand fell on a bare spot.
“Lookin' for this?” she asked, all manner of innocent. She pulled his towel out from behind her, never taking her eyes off his face. “Found it in the galley - under the table.”
She pulled it back when he held out a hand for it, and brought it to her nose.
“Mmmm. Smells good. I’ve smelled that scent before but I can’t place it.”
She was toying with him. Because it was so good to see her smile, he let her.
“Inara cut my hair. Towel, quig ni?”
Her eyebrows went up a bit while the rest of her face stayed the same.
“There was hair cuttin’ goin’ on here last night?” she asked. She said ‘hair cutting’ like ‘orgy’.
He gave her a mock disgusted look and turned back to the mirror to dry his face. Her eyes studied his muscled back.
“That don’t explain the smell.”
"She had to wash my hair first.”
The eyebrows went up a bit more. Mal sighed. She’d never let this go. He wanted to give in and get it over with; but she liked to work it out of him.
“I never have to wash your hair.”
“Must be a companiony thing.”
“Hair don’t look a bit shorter to me.”
He ignored her, turning to get a shirt out of the corner.
“Hair washin’. Hair cuttin’. And then what, a round or two of wildcat wrestlin'?”
"Shen me?”
Keep an innocent face, act like nothin’s wrong, and you can get away with anything. Ain’t nobody didn’t know that.
“Can’t figure what else woulda made welts on your back like that unless it was a wildcat…or,” she wandered over and bent her fingers until they lined up with the crescent shapes on his back, “maybe a wild woman.”
He froze. Te ma de! He’d forgotten his back. He was so humped.
He tried to stare her down. She grinned.
“Ain’t no accountin’ for taste, I reckon.”
She took pity on him and stepped over to the small med kit on the wall. She twirled her index finger at him and he turned his back to her and faced the mirror, hands braced on the sink. She squirted a dab of gel on her right hand and held his left shoulder with her other.
“Hold still.” She smeared the antiseptic on while he hissed and stiffened under her fingers. He always had been a big baby over meds.
“Lie kou shui de biao zi he hou zi de ben er zi, that stings!” he gasped.
Their eyes met in the mirror and suddenly the levity was gone.
“You love her?”
" Don’t know if I got it in me to love anybody ever again, Zo.”
“That’s a load a fei wu. Don’t ever wanna hear that kinda talk outta you again, dong le ma? You love ever damn person on this ship… well, cept for Jayne. And he kinda grows on you - like a mold.”
‘Got nothin’ for her. Not a damn thing to offer.”
“You ain’t wrong about that,” she agreed, “but she came back here to you. She’s one of us now. Sacrificed all that shiny life to be with you and your nothin’. What’re you gonna do about that?”
“Who says I gotta do any damn thing about it? Me and Inara ain’t kids playin’ doctor in the barn loft. We both been around a bit. Don’t see no reason to haft’a hurry into anything.”
He couldn’t help feeling a little cornered and a little betrayed that Zöe would take Inara’s part.
“When you and Wash started humpin’ each other I never…” The words were out of his mouth before he even thought. If he’d had a gun on him, he probably would have shot himself in the head rather than endure that flare of pain in her eyes.
“Wo de ma, I’m sorry, Zöe. I’m so sorry.”
“I’d do it again.”
“Shen me?”
“If Wash come back today and I knew what was gonna happen, I would do it all over again. I know it’s what you’re thinkin’. Look what happened to Zöe. She let herself love and look what happened. That's why you need to hurry. Cause we both know there ain’t nothin’ certain in this world except that there ain’t no certainty.
I see a chance for you to be happy, Mal, but I know you. You’ll worry, and fret, and brood until you drive her away. And deep down - you’ll be even feel good about it. All righteous as hell. Cause you don’t really deserve to be happy. Every damn thing that happens is your fault; and you don’t deserve a minute of peace, or joy, or love because you had the audacity to live when so many others died.”
Nobody would ever be able to lay him open to the bone like she could with a handful of words, and he’d kill anybody else who even tried.
“If she died… I can live with her not here…but I can’t live without her nowhere.”
“But that choice ain’t for you alone. Remember when she left the last time? That time away from her wasn’t livin’. I felt it. I can’t watch you go through that again. I can’t watch you spiral down into the dark. I won’t. That’s what I’m here to say. If you run her off, I’m leavin’, too. And I ain’t lyin’.”
They sized each other up for a full minute without saying a word. He broke the silence first.
"I ain’t promisin’ nothin’. Likely, after last night, she’ll be packed and ready to leave this mornin’ anyways. And that won’t be me runnin’ her off, either,” he added in a rush, just to clarify.
She smiled at him and he nearly folded under its warmth, heaving a thankful breath that things were back normal. She wiped her hand on the towel and studied him in the mirror. She placed on hand on his shoulder as a gesture of peace.
“You ain’t got a lick of sense, Malcolm Reynolds; and that woman ain’t got anything on her mind but you. And besides, how’s she gonna travel with that gorram goldfish bowl?”
He reached up to cover her hand with his for a brief second, and then he shrugged back into his old self.
“We still friends?” he asked gruffly.
“We’re still somethin’, reckon we always will be.”
He busied his hands washing out the sink.
“Don’t leave, Zöe. Cause if you do, you’ll make me beg you to stay, and I don't generally like to beg.”
“You just play nice. And be kind to Simon, too. Boy's gonna be an emotional basket case if you don’t stop glarin’ at him all the time. He’s good for Kaylee. Ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to the girl.”
"Shipboard romances complicate things. Next time I’ll cut my own damn hair.”
“That they do,” she smiled. “But they can be fun, too.” She turned to go, then swiveled back around.
“Oh, and …I gotta know…how was it?”
He’d have shot Jayne between the eyes for daring to ask him that, but this was Zöe. She’d once had her hand crammed into a bullet hole in his side for thirty minutes to keep him from bleeding out until the medics got to him - it gave her rights.
“Joey Farinacci,” he said simply, bringing back a fling she’d had near the beginning of the war when he'd been green as grass and the war was still an adventure. He’d thought then that she was the most outrageous, wild thing he’d ever seen. He’d been secretly captivated by her exuberant sexuality even as he’d prayed for her soul every night. She’d sneak in their tent after and describe every sinful detail of it to him, delighting in the way his eyes would widen and his face would turn blood red. She still swore it was the best sex she’d ever had in her life. Wash had made it a personal challenge to make her retract that statement.
“Oh, hell no!” she gasped in delight, throwing her head back with a laugh.
“My hand to God.” He grinned shyly, only the tops of his ears getting a little pink.
“You gonna tell me?”
“Nope.”
“I told you about Joey.”
“Never asked!”
“Liked hearin’ about it. Don’t lie.”
“Never had no choice; and was just curious was all. Still don’t believe you did half that perverted stuff anyway.”
“Your momma kept you in church too much. Repressed you, I reckon. I never made up a thing. Inara’s gonna have fun with you.”
“Still ain’t tellin’.”
“Are you and me and her ever gonna…?” she teased him unmercifully.
“No! I mean…you wanna…me, and you, and her? No!” His voiced raised a whole register, and he looked torn between indignation and fascination.
She laughed deep in her throat as she started up the ladder.
“That’s okay, Inara’ll tell me.”
“Ain’t never doin’ nothin' depraved. Tell her that, too, durin’ your little chat.”
“Wei!.” His voice stopped her near the top of the ladder. His eyes told her everything they’d never say to each other.
She smiled down at him.
“I know it.”
He moved under the ladder, towel around his neck.
“Don’t know what to do, really. Don’t know how to get started,” he admitted to her boots.
Her voice came floating down.
“Buy her a big damn goldfish bowl, sir - and try not to call her a whore.”
translations:
zao hao - good morning.
quig ni - please
wei - wait
shen me - what?
jin-lai - come in, enter
ai ya - damn
ta ma de - fuck me blind