Untitled E-mail Fic [KangSung]
Untitled E-mail Fic [Miracle comm post here]
Author: Mako-chan Fan
Pairing: KangSung; appearances by Heech, Teuk, Wookie, Kyu, Geng, Yuri
Rating: light R from the cursing
Genre: Angst, Humor, Romance
Summary: Running never solves anything.
A/N: I was just looking at beach pictures and voila! another KangSung. Btw, all the pics are not mine. They're pics from flickr.com
Status: SENT
Date: 4/16 3:24 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: YOU DICK
WTF i can't believe you left without saying goodbye! On Tuesday you said you were going to turn down the Sports Illustrated job then come Thursday you took the offer and left?!? And you didn't even tell anyone! Isn't that job offer for a whole year?!?
And here I was thinking that you'd be the one to photograph us for the upcoming album cover shoot.
Gah, you are such a jerk. I can't believe I'm even friends with you.
Jongwoon
P.S. I hope you know that I hate you right now.
Status: SENT
Date: 4/19 7:51 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Oh, come on!
I'm sorry that I left without saying anything. But come on, you can't hold that against me. What sane man would pass up the opportunity of flying all over the world in the most exotic beaches and photographing the sexiest models? It was a once-in-a-lifetime offer so I took it. I don't even know why I even thought of turning it down.
Anyway, I'm in LA right now. I just signed a 6-month contract with Sports Illustrated. They wanted a year-long contract but I refused to sign that. Let them think I have many offers ligned up (not that I don't). But that should sweeten the next contract come 6 months. Hahaha.
Some friends are taking me out for drinks tonight so I gotta go. Say hi to everyone for me!
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 4/24 2:17 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: Nice to know...
that you ditched us for models. Aish! What should I have expected from you? At least I know that you're safe and fine.
Anyway, Wookie, Kyu, and I have just finished another song for the upcoming KRY album. We've been going over with management about some of the songs that will be in the new album, and I gotta say, some of them are not too shabby. KRY's comeback is going to be awesome!
Try not to drink and party too much while you're away, okay? I don't want you to come back an alcoholic with bad liver.
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 4/29 12:43 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: iHola!
Attachment: cancun.jpg
Greetings from Mexico! I just woke up half-an-hour ago and had the best brunch the hotel has to offer. The sun is shining, the sky a perfect cloudless blue, and the beach is beautiful from the view of my penthouse balcony. Ah~! This is the life!
So plans for the third album are already underway, eh? That's great. Your fans have been dying to see you guys back on stage. Time to see you get caught by the cameras with your mouth all open-wide. Hahaha.
I have to go. We have to set up the photoshoot on the beach now. Our theme for this shoot: sunset in Cancun. Although I'll have a hard time showing the beauty of the sunset when there are almost-naked women writhing in the sand...
I attached a picture. I took that yesterday while scouting the beach for scenic views. Try not to be so envious that I'm here and you're not.
Say hi to everyone for me! Yuri too.
Youngwoon
P.S. Don't worry. I don't party so much as you think I do.
Status: SENT
Date: 5/5 12:21 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: Sellout!
That's right! I called you on that! Sacrificing art for money and fame and women... I'm just messing. But you really better be adding real art in your photographs or I'll be extremely disappointed. To graduate in a famous art school and end up focusing on boobs, legs, and butts...
That picture you sent was beautiful! White sand, clear blue ocean... Cancun really must be like paradise. I can't help but be envious! I wish I was there! Then we'd go swimming, get a tan while laying on the beach, make sand angels. The only satisfaction that I get out of all of this is that I KNOW you wish I was there, too, coz I'm the only one who would do goofy things like that with you. ;DDDDDD
Anyway we've chosen almost all the songs that will be in the album and recording will start soon. Though Jungsoo-hyung insisted that we try this upbeat song and have us dance to it as well. We're all a little iffy about that save for Teukie-hyung, but he says Hankyung will be choreographing and helping us, so we're going to try it anyway.
Everyone says hi, too. Yuri included.
Hoping you peel and that it hurts,
Jongwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 5/7 5:31 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: You're right
I wish you were here. Cancun would be much more beautiful with you here.
God I miss you.
Status: SENT
Date: 5/10 10:02 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: LA
Got back from LA today and went straight to showcasing my first batch of pics for the magazine. They loved it, of course. One of the pics will be the front cover of Sports Illustrated for June!
I'll be receiving another assignment either tomorrow or the next day. I hope it's another exotic location. Maybe to the Bahamas, perhaps? :DDDDD
What? You'll be dancing and singing?... Like an idol group?
*LMAO for 10 minutes.*
Oh I'm sorry I'm sorry! I can't help it! You, Wookie, and Kyu seriously have great talents! Singing, DJ-ing, modeling. But dancing? What is Jungsoo thinking? As your own manager, shouldn't he have known that the three of you equals six left feet altogether? I hope he realizes his error before KRY's rep is forever ruined. You might lose Yuri, too.
Well, gotta go. I'm pooped. Tell everyone I said hi.
Didn't peel, felt no pain, and has a nice tan (HA!),
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 5/17 8:10 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: Congratulations!
I'm so proud to hear that your work made the front cover for that magazine! You'll be internationally renowned now! And you'll be idolized by pervy guys for your envious job of shooting babes (and babies. God knows some of those models are barely legal :/). Haha.
Jungsoo-hyung and the other managers finally saw how much of a mistake KRY singing and dancing was. It was a disaster! I kept tripping all over the place, Wookie kept forgetting the steps and Kyu! Well, I'm no dancer, but at least I can do some semblance of a body wave. When Kyu did it, there was no wave at all! Oh man it was hilarious. Yuri couldn't stop laughing, and even Heechul-hyung was dying from laughter. Anyway we took that song out of the album. Management still paid Hankyung-hyung, and probably with a bonus too, for what he had to put up with.
I have to go. We're releasing the new album in the second week of July. We started recording a week ago and we're busy busy busy.
Stay safe! Send me a picture of the Bahamas!
Jongwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 5/23 5:05 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Maldives is spectacular...
Attachment: maldives_sky.jpg, dinner.jpg
but it doesn't matter, coz you're not here with me. The islands is beautiful, achingly so, but I can't appreciate it the way I should because I'm still unhappy, and your place beside me is still empty.
I'll be going to dinner with the crew soon. They're great people, fun to work with, but I can't help but wish I was having dinner with you instead.
But I have to stop wishing for things that will never happen. You have Yuri now. I have to stop.
I miss you, Jongwoon.
Status: SENT
Date: 5/23 5:32 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Not the Bahamas...
Attachment: maldives_shore.jpg, olivia7.jpg, maldives_sky.jpg
which is just as well, because Maldives is spectacular. There's around 1190 little islands with most of them just 6 feet above sea level. Pure white sand, water so clear and blue and stretch out for miles and miles that you don't know where the water ends and the sky begins. It's so beautiful, though the trip's bittersweet, coz apparently Maldives is under threat of disappearing. With global warming and climate change, the water keeps on rising, so Maldives will be underwater soon. :/
Went to some of the islands to plan the shoots. Took pictures while doing so. Olivia, one of the models I'll be shooting, went around with me. She's in one in the pics I sent.
Kyu doing the body wave? I would have paid to see that. The album comes out July, eh? Crunch time now, I see. I know you'll be busy, so take care of your health, yeah? Ahja, ahja!
I'll be supporting you while I sip on pina coladas and bake in the sun! ;DDDDDDDDDD
Oh, I have to go. The crew and the models are eating dinner together. I hope they have those fire dancers entertaining the guests...
Youngwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 6/1 11:18 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: asldfjaof ;efmasldfoasdfu ege
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I HATE YOU KIM YOUNGWOON!!! First of all, you leave Korea without telling me, breaking my heart in the process. And I listened to Jungsoo-hyung, tried to be reasonable, instead of chasing after you, because being coveted by Sports Illustrated as one of their mainstay photographers is good for your career. I get that. I didn't drag you back home, did I? And I'm truly happy that you're doing so well and visiting all those exotic places because you're really happy with where you are. And I know you'll never feel the same way about me, and I'm trying to accept that, and that's why I never said anything to you. After all, being a high-profile photographer, you're always around sexy models and actresses, so why would you waste your time with me? And then you send me beautiful pictures of where you are, which makes me really happy because you make me feel important with sending me pictures even with your hectic schedule, and then you also send me a picture of one of those models, and... shit. My heart's broken all over again. It just hurts to know that I will never be the one for you. Shit, I'm babbling. Argh.
I hate you Kim Youngwoon. But apparently I'm still very much in love with you.
Status: SENT
Date: 6/2 12:12 am
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Maldives
Youngwoon, those pictures are mind-blowing! Especially that picture of the sunset. It's so gorgeous! I printed a copy of it and posted it on the fridge, along with the Cancun picture. Everyone who visits the dorm and sees it are envious.
That Olivia seems very nice, at least from the back view. Maybe you should date her.
We're wrapping up the recording and moving on to the cover shoots and the MVs.
I'm going to get some shut-eye now. We're recording again tomorrow before DJ-ing with Yuri again.
Jongwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 6/4 1:40 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject:
So you and Yuri are still together and still going strong, huh? Damn, that hurts, to know that you're happy with someone while I'm still struggling here, trying to get over you. I really need to move on. I have to move on. I can't live like this.
Status: SENT
Date: 6/4 2:10 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: RE: Maldives
Wasn't that sunset just awesome? It's probably one of my favorite pictures that I've ever taken. When I get back to LA I think I'll be framing a copy of that.
Olivia and I have been getting kinda close. We've been talking a lot and eating dinner for the past few days. She's nice, surprisingly witty, very sweet. She seems to like me. I'm thinking of asking her out once we get back to LA.
I hope you're not spreading yourself too thin. Maybe you should stop DJ-ing for a while, at least until after recording and promotions for the album? Just a suggestion.
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 6/9 7:30 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Back in LA
So I've been back to LA for the last couple of days. Once again, one of my pics will be the cover of the magazine for July. Only they went with one of Shannon's pictures instead of Olivia's, though hers will still be included in the magazine.
A colleague secrety sent one of my a batch of my photographs to Outdoor Magazine, and a while ago, I got a call from the editor, asking me if they can use one of them as the cover for their issue. They're also going to make me their featured photographer! That's huge! Man, I'm so awesome. Pat me in the back! Hahaha.
Olivia and I are playing phone tag at this point; I'm busy with photoshoots and editing, and she's busy with photoshoots and runway modeling. Guess we'll see if it heads anywhere.
Guess you're really busy, if you haven't replied back. Hope you're eating and getting enough sleep. Are you still DJ-ing? I hope you took my advice. Or not. I dunno. It's all on you.
I hope everyone's doing well, too!
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 6/15 10:37 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: Ryeowook@sment.com
Subject: Hi Youngwoon-hyung
How are you? How's living in Los Angeles? I heard the beaches in California are really nice and that it's always sunny there. Have you been to Hollywood? Have you seen any celebrities? You probably have and you're probably neighbors with them, big hotshot photographer that you are now. Congratulations, by the way. :DDDDDDDD
Anyway, hyung, we're all doing well here, though a little more tired than usual. We're weeks away from releasing the new album, and, like always, it's the busiest time for us. But we're more or less used to it; we're coping.
Actually, the true reason why I'm writing this (not that I won't ever e-mail you if this didn't come up; we're just really busy) is because I'm worried about Jongwoon-hyung. He hasn't been eating well, nor has he been sleeping well, for the past two weeks. And he's been really quiet, less energetic. Kyu, Jungsoo-hyung, and I have tried talking to him, but he won't say anything. We don't want to force him to talk either, because that might just make him mad.
Do you know what's wrong with him? Has he said anything? Talk about anything? Hyung and I are close, but even I can't get it out of him. Yuri-ssi also tried to talk to him, but to no avail. So we're hoping you know what's wrong, because you guys are close, too.
Anyway, hope to hear from you hyung, and not just about Jongwoon-hyung, but about you, too! We all miss you!
Ryeowook
Status: SENT
Date: 6/15 12:03 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: heechurella@stylista.com.kr
Subject: What did you do this time?
Do you purposely make things hard for me, huh, you punk? First you up and leave and leave us to deal with an angry and confused Jongwoon. And now he looks like shit; pale, bloodshot eyes, eyebags down to his chin, and really really thin. How am I supposed to make KRY glamorous for the album cover shoot when one third of them looks like the walking dead?
What did you do? What did you say to him? Fix him, you punk, FIX HIM NOW.
Heechul
Status: SENT
Date: 6/15 5:22 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Hey
You haven't replied to any of my emails, and I haven't heard from you for two weeks. I've gotten emails from both Wookie and Heechul-hyung, and they're asking me what's up with you. I've tried calling you, but you're not picking up. So what's happening? What's wrong? Are you okay? Is your family okay? Please tell us. We're all worried. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I'll call again.
Youngwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 6/15 5:25 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
Front: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject:
What's wrong, Jongwoon? You don't talk to Wookie, you don't talk to Teukie-hyung. Hell, you don't even talk to your own girlfriend. You're getting everyone worried. I'm getting really worried, but you won't talk to me either.
Call me. Email me to go back there, and though it'll be painful to see you and Yuri together, I will fly back there, without any qualms, without hesitation. Coz I would drop anything for you, do you know that?
Just please, tell me that you're all right.
Status: SENT
Date: 6/16 11:44 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: I'm okay
What did Wookie and Heechul-hyung tell you? Whatever it is, they exaggerated, like they usually do. I'm totally fine. I was a little bit out of it, but I'm fine now. Nothing to worry about.
So you're really kicking ass there in the US of A, huh? Sports Illustrated, Outdoor Magazine, and I'm sure a lot of other magazines have featured your works and have hired you for shoots, huh? I'm so proud of you. But I guess that also means you won't be visiting Korea anytime soon :/. That sucks. I need some real downtime with you.
Phone tag? I'm not sure that sounds fun. But if you guys really like each other, you'll find time to make time for each other.
Well, I have to go. Tomorrow's the first day we're shooting the MV and we're starting really early.
Jongwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 6/16 11:58 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Front: yesung@sment.com
Subject:
I don't know what to do, Youngwoon. I can't sleep, I can't eat. All I do is think about you and that Olivia woman and get jealous. I know I don't have the right to be jealous: I never told you how I felt, have no intentions of doing so, and you'll never see me that way, and you were never mine. I'm being irrational, but I can't help it. I still have feelings for you.
And I just... miss you. I miss being with you, being in your presence. I miss the times when we'd just go out to eat and walk, or get drinks and talk. I miss making you laugh, miss you making me laugh. I miss you making fun of me and my small hands and my big head, knowing that was how you showed your affection, by acting tough and being mean. I miss being a part of your world, and though I know I'm still a part of your life because you take the time to email me, I feel as if we're drifting farther and farther apart, that the distance between us, and your busy hectic schedule, and that Olivia, is pushing a wedge between us.
It was hard enough that you left me without saying goodbye. Now I'm scared that you'll forget about me completely. I can't even remember the life I lead before you came into my life, and frankly, I don't want to start living that way again.
I miss you, Youngwoon.
Status: SENT
Date: 6/22 9:10 am
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Good to hear from you
Attachment: bahamas.jpg
again. Though I'm not completely convinced that you're okay. But I'm here, should you ever want somebody to talk to. I may be continents apart but I'm always here for you.
Anyway. Guess where I am. Yes, that's right, the Bahamas! And it's just as impressive as I imagined it. Clear turquoise water, exotic corals and fish, and damn, sharks everywhere! Some of my co-workers and I went snorkeling and I swear about 3 sharks swam right next to us. It was really freaky and awesome at the same time.
Also, guess what? My next photoshoots will be all over Asia, so I may be able to stop by Korea for a few days! I'll email you once I get my itinerary. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again!
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 6/28 3:09 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: YES!
I'm so glad to hear you're coming back, even for just a few days! I'm sure we'll be really busy with promotions and all, but who cares? I just won't sleep! Sleep is for the weak anyway! :DDDDDDDDD
Bahamas sounds amazing as you described it. Though I'm pretty sure I would've freaked out if sharks ever came close to me. So scary. But the picture you sent was visually striking, and it's up on the fridge, along with the other pics you've sent.
Kyu says you're being nasty, sending all those pictures when we're here, slaving. Heechul-hyung concurs.
Don't forget to email me when you get your sched!
Excited as hell,
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 7/4 11:52 am
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Got the exact destinations
but the sched isn't set in stone yet. I'm going to Indonesia, the Philippines, and Thailand! Tell Kyu and Heechul where I'm going. Hahahaha.
Sorry this is so short, but I have to leave in a few minutes. I'm going for lunch with some co-workers and talk about hiring some new photographers.
Excited as hell, too,
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 7/7 9:10 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: KRY's comeback stage
is in a few days! I'm so excited! And the MV for 'Just You' came out a few days ago, and already we're getting so many positive reviews! The album was just released today and I heard that we've already sold thousands of copies! All of our hardwork is finally paying off once again!
And to add to all that good news, you're coming back! My days are getting brighter and brighter.
I told Kyu and Heechul. Heechul-hyung says you're dead when you come back here. Hahaha.
Email me once your plans are set in stone!
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 7/17 9: 05 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Congratulations!
Attachment: Bali1.jpg, Bali2.jpg
I watched the new MV yesterday. Very nice. And I watched your comeback stage through livestream. KRY looks and sounds perfect, as usual. Looks like all that vocal training finally got you somewhere! Just joking. You were great. Tell Kyu and Wookie they were awesome, too.
Just got here in Bali yesterday. Settled in after a pretty long flight, then walked around to take a few pictures of the sunset. Scouted around a while ago for the photoshoot tomorrow and was able to take the second picture. Amazing how the same sky and same beach can look different everyday, no?
We'll be staying here for the next two weeks, then we'll be flying to the Philippines to meet up with the other models and the photographer that will be substitute for me. I'll leave a week after that. So I'll be in Korea from August 10-14! Guess I'll be a little early for your birthday!
Youngwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 7/18 1:47 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject:
In a few weeks you'll be back here. I'm happy and scared at the same time; happy, because I've missed you so much and I've wanted to see you, hear you again, and scared, because I don't know how much of a wreck I will be once you leave again. Frankly I'm not sure whether I can take that or not.
You coming here, despite being a few weeks early, would be the best gift I'll ever receive. But I've decided to give myself a present. Once you come here, I've decided to tell you how much I love you. It'll be a risk, I know, because not once have you ever shown any interest in me, but I need to tell you once and for all. I can't live the rest of my life being hung up on you. I need to know if there's a chance that you'll ever feel the same, and if there isn't, I at least will get closure.
Anyway, I'm so so SO excited to see you again. 4 months may not be that long for others, but the months that passed without you beside me seemed like years. It's been too long for me. I need to see you again.
Status: SENT
Date: 7/18 2:02 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: YES!!!
Aug 10 to 14? That's only five days! But I'd rather take that than you not visiting at all! Though you're going to have to stick with us like Heechul-hyung and Teukie-hyung since we'll still be promoting and meeting fans and driving around everywhere. But I also think Teukie-hyung actually managed for us get a free night or two...
Bali seems really peaceful. I especially love the first picture. I'd love to go there and see that kind of magical scene with my own eyes. You know those photographs found their way to the fridge.
See you in less than three weeks!
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 7/25 12:27 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: 2 weeks to go!
We won Music Bank! :DDDDDDDD
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 7/27 8:19 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: LOL
I know! Congratulations! \o/
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 8/1 2:33 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: 1 week before D-Day!
Won Music Bank again! :DDDDDDDD
Hey, are you staying at a hotel while you're in Korea? Or are you staying with your parents? Coz, you know, the dorm always has an extra bed open for you.... :DDDDDDD
Also, is there anyone picking you up from the airport?
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 8/2 3:20 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: I know!
Congratulations again! Saw the performance on YouTube. I like your new hairstyle. You're head doesn't look too big that way! Hahaha.
If it's not too inconvenient, I guess I'll stay with you guys. We can both annoy Kyu while playing Starcraft till he finally goes to sleep. And scare Teukie-hyung and make him scream like a girl. Hahaha.
Don't worry about picking me up from the airport. I've got it covered.
Youngwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 8/9 7:21 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
Front: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: I'm sorry, Jongwoon
Attachment: phil_1.jpg, phil_2.jpg
but I can't leave the Philippines. The substitute photographer needed to leave the photoshoot because of a family emergency so I have to stay and take the shoot myself. I know you've been looking forward to this. So have I. But work is work. I have to be professional. You understand that, don't you? I hope you're not angry.
Youngwoon
Status: UNSENT
Date: 8/9 7:34 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
Front: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject:
I'm sorry for lying to you, Jongwoon. Really, I am. The truth is, I'm here in Korea, been here since yesterday. I was going to surprise you yesterday after your radio show with Yuri, coming two days earlier as planned.
I thought that after a few months of accepting the idea of you and Yuri together, I'd be able to come to the country, see the two of you together and feel nothing but happiness for you both. But watching the radio show, seeing you interact, and see how in love you are with her after the show ended, I couldn't bare it. I still wish I was in her place. I wish you loved me instead. And I can't stay in Korea and act as if everything is alright. Coz it's not alright. I'm not alright.
I know I'm fucked up. I left when I discovered that you and Yuri were together last April, and that's why I took the offer from the magazine. I needed to be far away from you both, knowing that the one you love wasn't me. I didn't want to tell you the true reason why I left, so I lied, made up some bullshit about wanting to go to exotic locations and working with the sexiest models. It's fucked up that I lied and made it look as if what I did wasn't serious, because real friends don't just up and leave and lie, like the pain and anger you felt when I left wasn't important, wasn't valid.
And I'm still fucked up, coz I know you've been looking forward to my visit yet I'm still running away from the pain, and therefore causing you pain again.
I'm a coward, and I'm selfish, and I'm so so sorry.
Status: SENT
Date: 8/9 1:14 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: It's okay
I understand. Work is work. You have to stay there and do your thing. I get it.
The pictures were beautiful.
I should get some sleep.
Hope you're safe there. Be careful. Don't push yourself too hard.
Jongwoon
Status: SENT
Date: 8/11 8:45 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: ryeowook@sment.com
Subject: Youngwoon-hyung
Jongwoon-hyung told me why you can't visit anymore. But are you sure you can't come, not even for a few days? We were all looking forward to seeing you again, most especially hyung. To tell you the truth, hyung he's really depressed. He doesn't talk to anyone and looks himself in the room, and only opens his mouth when we're performing.
Anyway, if you really can't come, I understand. But if you can, please do.
Ryeowook
Status: SENT
Date: 8/12 10:35 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: parkjungsoo@sment.com
Subject: Youngwoon
I don't mean to order you around, but can't you wrap up your photoshoot earlier so you can come visit? Though Jongwoon said it's okay that you couldn't come, he's really sad. I can't force you if you're really can't be here, but I hope you didn't lie. Your best friend needs you.
Jungsoo
Status: SENT
Date: 8/13 11:29 pm
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: heechurella@stylista.com.kr
Subject: You are a liar
and an asshole. One of my friends who work in the radio station as Jongwoon saw you outside the station's building a couple of nights ago. Why the hell did you come here and not show yourself to Jongwoon and lie to him? What the fuck? It doesn't make sense.
You should see what you've done to Jongwoon. He's a damn wreck. The guy usually can't even handle a shot of alcohol, and now he's on his 4th shot of vodka. It's just sad how depressing it is.
I WILL get to the bottom of this or my name isn't Kim Heechul.
Status: SENT
Date: 8/14 12:21 am
To: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
From: yesung@sment.com
Subject: This is Kyuhyun
Heechul forced me to hack Jongwoon-hyung's e-mail. It's quiet easy, really; your name is his password.
Heechul also forced me to hack your e-mail. It was also easy; Jongwoon's name is your password.
I sent all of your unsent messages to Jongwoon-hyung's email. And I compiled all the unsent e-mails Jongwoon-hyung wrote but didn't send you. I hope this clears up all the problems, however imaginary they really are, to you.
Btw, hyung, you should know that Yuri and Jongwoon-hyung were never going out. They're just really really close.
EPILOGUE
Status: SENT
Date: 8/18 12:23 pm
To: yesung@sment.com
From: 1koreahandsomeguy@gmail.com.kr
Subject: Jongwoon
Attachments: phiphi1.jpg, phiphi2.jpg
I'm sure by now you've read all the emails, the ones I didn't have the courage to send you. I never said what I truly felt, and apparently neither have you, and we've wasted time, so much time, saying everything but the truth. Well, here's a first for me:
I've seen the beautiful beaches of Thailand and the wondrous Phi Phi Islands. I've been to Mexico, Maldives, Bahamas, Bali and the Philippines, and saw their magnificence. But no matter how beautiful, wondrous, and magnificent they are, none of them will ever compare to you, my love, my heart, my home.
I love you, Jongwoon. And I'm going back home.