Reborn! fic - Blood of the Covenant (Chapter 7)
( Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 )
Title - Blood of the Covenant
Rating - PG-13 for language and violence
Characters - Gokudera, Tsuna, Reborn, Yamamoto
Notes - I am not a doctor, and there’s a limit to how much research I was willing to do for this fanfic written for a series in which people are regularly stabbed, blown up, have their internal organs removed, and so forth, and yet still come out of it just fine in the end. So I apologize if any of this is so inaccurate as to fuck with anyone’s suspension of disbelief. In the end I figured that probably just comes with the territory.
Warnings - Some description of injuries, but nothing especially graphic or triggering (I think) in this chapter.
Target 07 - My Fault
“Ow,” Anthony hissed as Bella applied a particularly painful healing touch to his injured arm.
“I told you not to move,” Bella muttered as she smacked him lightly on the side of the head.
“I didn’t move!”
“You moved just now.”
“Because you just jabbed my fresh bullet wound out of nowhere and then scolded me for moving!”
That earned him another smack. However, when Bella resumed her Sun flame-assisted ministrations a moment later, her touch was noticeably more delicate, something which Anthony didn’t fail to take notice of.
…He was lucky.
He was very lucky. They all had been. The more he thought about it, the more nerve-wracked it made him in hindsight.
Bella had been insistent on returning to the castle as soon as Reborn had gone, but Anthony had refused until they could make sure that Luca was okay. Reborn’s words hadn’t sat well with him, not at all.
(He wouldn’t do anything that would put the family in harm’s way.)
(That’s an interesting thing to say, considering that he already has.)
Combine that with “we already know where to find you”, and the message could not be clearer. The Vongola had been toying with them up until now. It was evident that they were more than capable of wiping out the DiSanto family without a second thought, should they choose to do so.
If a single man had been capable of taking out a hundred of their best, they had no chance of winning this thing. Maybe Luca’s abilities could shift things back in their favor a little, but in the end it would not be enough.
And so he’d immediately tried to get Luca on the comm as soon as Reborn had made his exit. But Luca hadn’t responded. And so Anthony had stood there fearing the worst, and frantically dispatching their remaining men to go and find him, while Bella had urgent medical assistance sent out to aid the men that Reborn had taken down.
It had taken almost twenty minutes for his men to finally report back that they’d found Luca, and were en route back to the headquarters. The news came as a huge relief, only…
Only, Luca had refused to speak with Anthony himself.
Obviously this meant that something had gone down, but what it was, Anthony had not the slightest guess. Luca must have met with Hayato, or he wouldn’t be behaving so strangely now. He could only hope Luca hadn’t done anything to send the family tumbling from this knife’s edge they were so precariously balanced on at present.
He needed to talk to him. But he had no idea how to approach it.
A soft hand on his cheek startled him out of his thoughts, and he reached up to place his hand over Bella’s as he opened his eyes. “Sorry. I spaced out.”
She kept her hand where it was, gently caressing the side of his face as she closed her own eyes. “…You’re afraid.”
He gave a short, humorless laugh. “What gave that away?”
“You didn’t used to care so much.”
“Not true. I just didn’t always have this much to lose.”
“You knew when we started this that there was no going back.”
“I know, I know. But you have to admit, things are starting to get out of hand now.” He sighed. “In hindsight, ‘no going back’… seems like kind of a dumb policy.”
“Do you think he’ll listen?” Bella said after a moment.
“I don’t know. But this has gone far enough.”
“I know you don’t want to go against him,” she said. “But what he’s doing is careless.”
“Yep. Figured that out right around the time I got shot.”
She smiled and moved to start bandaging up his wound, which now looked a great deal better than it had just minutes ago.
“I’m just lucky that guy decided to leave me alive,” Anthony said thoughtfully. “…Speaking of. It’s a good thing you didn’t kill that Rain kid, either.”
Bella made a noncommittal noise as she continued to wrap his arm.
“…He wasn’t bad,” she said finally. “But he’s young still, and he fights too straightforwardly, relies too much on his surface instincts. I wanted to see what would happen if he were forced to look beyond that.”
“You sound like you’re already preparing for round two,” Anthony said after a beat.
And even though he’d hoped that she would deny it, he wasn’t much surprised when she didn’t.
---
It was taking everything Tsuna had to keep it together. He was pretty sure the only reason he hadn’t actually fallen to pieces yet was because out of the three of them, he was the only one who’d come out of the latest round of battles pretty much unscathed, and right now the last thing Yamamoto and Gokudera needed was a hysterical and distraught sham of a leader on their hands.
He’d found Yamamoto pretty much right where they’d left him, in the piazza just outside their stake-out bistro. Much to his relief, Yamamoto had at first glance appeared relatively unharmed, aside from a few scrapes and cuts (one in particular on his chin which had drudged up more than a few unsettling memories).
However, he’d soon discovered that the worst of the damage wasn’t nearly so obvious as that.
(Hey, Tsuna. …Don’t freak out, okay?)
To put it plainly, Yamamoto had been blinded.
This wasn’t something Tsuna himself was entirely unfamiliar with. During their final battle with the Vindice, he had at one point fallen victim to a nearly identical attack. However, in his case, he’d recovered fairly quickly, his vision starting to return in a matter of minutes. For Yamamoto, it didn’t seem that things would be so easy. It had been several hours since the fight, and although he was still as optimistic and cheerful as ever, Yamamoto so far had yet to regain even the smallest measure of his eyesight.
And he wasn’t even the worst off. Although they had managed to avoid any fatalities on their end-which was something of a minor miracle-two of Vongola’s number were nonetheless still in critical condition. The first was one of the soldiers they had posted in disguise outside the restaurant-apparently, he’d been the one that Yamamoto’s opponent, Bella Roma, had stabbed at the outset of their encounter. He had very nearly died, but fortunately the Vongola’s medics had been able to get to him in time. Now that the worst had passed, they were optimistic that he would make a full recovery.
Unfortunately the same could not quite be said for the other victim of the night’s events. That man was currently lying unconscious in a nearby room.
(“Hello?! Anyone copy?”
Tsuna’s hand sprung to his ear. “-Gokudera-kun! What-”
“I need medical now! It’s an emergency!”
Panic immediately arose in Tsuna as Gokudera rattled off his rough location. “Are you all right?!” he said.
“…It’s not me, it’s-Ganauche. His arm…” Gokudera’s voice was shaking over the comm. “There’s-he’s bleeding really bad.”
“What happened?” Yamamoto said, sounding as concerned as Tsuna felt.
It took a moment for Gokudera to reply. They could hear his breathing, sounding just as rough and unsteady as his voice. “It was Luca,” he finally said. “-My fault. …I was wrong.”)
After that, they hadn’t been able to get much of anything else out of him. Fortunately, Reborn had arrived at Gokudera’s location moments later, with a medical team not far behind. The medics had done their best, but apparently they had been unable to salvage what remained of Ganauche’s left arm. They’d taken him back to the base and, after treated him for blood loss as well, were now currently at work getting him outfitted for a prosthetic.
As for Gokudera, Tsuna’s concerns had only mounted as the night wore on. He’d been covered in blood when Tsuna and Yamamoto had finally reached his location; it seemed he had been trying to keep Ganauche from bleeding out in the aftermath of their as-yet-unexplained encounter with Gokudera’s brother. He’d also had a split lip, as well as several other scrapes and bruises on his face; yet another thing he had yet to offer up any kind of explanation for.
What concerned Tsuna most of all, though, was the fact that since they had reunited, Gokudera had spoken a total of exactly six words to the both of them. “Are you all right?” first and foremost, followed only with: “I’m sorry.”
Since then, he had lapsed into complete silence, to the point where Tsuna found himself worriedly glancing over at him what felt like every few seconds, afraid that he might actually be falling into shock. He’d never seen Gokudera like this, not even when they’d been at their lowest points. Not even when the two of them had first found themselves trapped in the nightmarish ten-years-from-now future, or during Gokudera’s subsequent bout of depression during his training with the older Bianchi.
Currently they were both standing in the corner of Yamamoto’s room in the Vongola’s medical wing, along with Reborn. Yamamoto was sitting up in bed, patiently complying with a doctor who was shining a little handheld light into each of his eyes as she ran him through a series of tests.
Gokudera had his arms crossed, and was leaning on the wall. It might have almost seemed casual at first glance, had he not been so unnaturally rigid, and had his fingers not been pressed into his upper arm so tightly that the skin under his nails had gone white. Tsuna had at least managed to coax him into changing out of his bloodstained clothes, but he didn’t look much better off for the effort. In fact, Tsuna didn’t think he’d ever seen him looking this upset.
But the worst of it, Tsuna found, was that he was discovering that he had absolutely no idea what to say or how to act around Gokudera in this type of situation. Every time he opened his mouth to try, his brain came up short. And he was starting to feel increasingly guilty about it.
The trouble was, he and Gokudera had never had that type of relationship before, where they were able to fully open up to each other about whatever fears and troubles they were experiencing. Or at least, Tsuna amended, Gokudera had never had that type of relationship with him.
He was slowly coming to realize that in the two years they had known each other, Gokudera had never once confessed to him even the smallest doubt, or come to him with even the most minor personal dilemma. Instead, he would always force a smile whenever such a topic arose, and assure Tsuna that he was fine, with what Tsuna now realized must have been a considerable amount of feigned cheerfulness.
And Tsuna had never once tried to press him about it. Because the truth was, part of Tsuna had never wanted to. On some level, he had known there were parts of Gokudera that he kept hidden away, and yet Tsuna been content to let him do so, too fearful-and too selfish-to ever press the matter further.
Because in all honesty, to him, that side of Gokudera represented a part of the mafia world that he was still wary of coming to know. And even though he cared very much about Gokudera, a part of Tsuna-a small, shameful part-was still a little afraid of him. Or, more precisely, of coming face to face with that darker side of the mafia that he still so adamantly rejected.
And so he’d maintained a sort of comfortable distance between them, keeping that part of him at arm’s length. And he allowed Gokudera’s own overwhelming admiration and respect for him to play its part in maintaining that distance as well. Even though it bothered Tsuna sometimes that Gokudera even now so obviously thought of him first and foremost as a Boss, and then a friend, there were certain advantages to being the object of that level of deference. Gokudera always went out of his way to avoid burdening him, and for a very long time, Tsuna had been all too content to not be burdened.
But now things had changed. Right now, Gokudera clearly needed a friend more than ever. And Tsuna could no longer stand to just sit back and watch while he spiraled and kept trying to go it alone. It had scared Tsuna more than he’d thought possible when he’d realized Gokudera had gone running off after Luca on his own. And that fear had only compounded once he’d seen for himself just how badly Ganauche had been injured.
And maybe it was a little terrible that a small part of him had also been relieved, even though one of their own had been hurt so badly, because at least Gokudera was still unharmed. But he couldn’t help it. And since that moment, he hadn’t been able to stop from thinking about how it could just as easily have been Gokudera who’d gotten hurt instead, and how he wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.
That thought haunted him. And he wanted to confront Gokudera about it, to take him by the shoulders and scream at him and ask him why, and just what in the hell had possessed him to do that.
But he couldn’t find it in him to go through with it. Every time he thought about what to do, what to say, he simply froze. He’d let that awkward gap flourish in between them for too long, and now that he was finally ready and willing to try and bridge it, he had absolutely no idea how.
And so here he was, just watching Gokudera quietly suffer and continue to close himself off, while all the while Tsuna simply scuffed his feet and did nothing, all because he felt too uncomfortable to bring it up. He was pathetic.
Finding himself at a loss yet again, he finally turned his attention back to Yamamoto for the time being. The doctor had finished her examination and had fastened what looked like one of those airplane sleep masks over Yamamoto’s eyes. Having done so, she had then started to scribble something on a notepad while the rest of them waited awkwardly.
“Well?” Tsuna asked once he couldn’t bear the weird silence any longer. “How is he?”
“There was significant corneal damage in both eyes,” the doctor replied, “but whether it’s temporary or permanent is impossible to say for certain yet. For now, we’ve done all the healing we can, and he should keep the mask in place until further notice. The lights should remain dimmed as well.”
She finished scribbling her notes and stood, gathering her things. “Aside from that, unfortunately, the only thing we can do is wait and see if his sight starts to recover. I’d say we’ll know for sure in the next twenty-four hours or so.”
“Thank you,” Yamamoto said with a sheepish smile.
The doctor nodded. “Make sure you get some rest.” With that, she exited the room, leaving the rest of them still standing there as the uncomfortable quiet slowly settled in around them once again.
Just when Tsuna thought he was about to snap from the pressure of trying to rack his brain for something to say, Yamamoto came to his rescue. “Wow, it just got so quiet all of a sudden,” he said, mirroring Tsuna’s thoughts exactly.
Tsuna gave a weak laugh in reply, grateful for Yamamoto’s ever-present optimism, although he still wasn’t sure what to say in response. Fortunately, Yamamoto seemed to pick up on this, and continued with his show of good cheer. “Come on, guys, don’t be so down. It’s not that bad, really! At times like these, we just have to pick ourselves back up again, right?”
“…Right,” Tsuna agreed, wishing he felt it more than he actually did.
“Heh. So no more worrying about me, okay, Tsuna? I mean it, all right?”
“All right,” Tsuna promised. It was a lie, but right now he knew it was what Yamamoto needed to hear. He wouldn’t relax until he was assured that the others wouldn’t continue to stress all night about his condition.
He did feel a little better, though, when Yamamoto beamed at him in response. Maybe that really had been the right thing to say.
“You too, Gokudera,” Yamamoto said after a slight pause. “No more worrying, okay?”
This was a fairly obvious ploy on Yamamoto’s part to get the other boy to finally snap out of his preoccupied, close-mouthed state. Still, Tsuna held his breath for a moment, praying that it might actually work. Any other time, such a statement from Yamamoto-suggesting that Gokudera of all people might actually be worried about him-would guarantee an indignant outburst.
This time, however, Gokudera said nothing, but instead simply looked away, his expression darker than ever.
“…Heh,” Yamamoto said after a moment, undaunted. Then his face brightened and he suddenly laughed for real. “Oh, hey, that reminds me!” He reached up to touch the bandage on his chin. “Told you it wasn’t a stop sign, ha ha!”
Gokudera immediately went stiff, looking completely stricken. Tsuna felt his stomach plummet. For a moment, he was almost in disbelief. For Yamamoto, who usually had an uncanny knack for putting people at ease, it was by far the worst he had ever seen him misread a situation.
To his credit, he almost immediately seemed to realize the joke hadn’t landed the way he’d intended. “Gokudera-” he began apologetically, but Gokudera had already turned and was now moving to hastily exit the room.
“Gokudera-kun, wait…” Tsuna said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He froze at the touch and turned to meet Tsuna’s eyes guiltily. “Boss… I…” He faltered then, and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t…”
His voice sounded so broken up that after a moment Tsuna allowed his hand to slip back from his shoulder, letting him go, feeling ashamed and useless even as he did so. A strained silence settled around the room as Gokudera’s footsteps disappeared down the hall.
“Ah… I didn’t…” Yamamoto said, sounding extremely contrite, though it was a little hard to read his face while he was wearing the eye mask.
“You didn’t mean anything by it,” said Tsuna.
“I didn’t think he’d…”
“I don’t think it’s your fault,” Tsuna said, not wanting him to feel badly about it. “Right now, he’s just…”
“…Yeah,” Yamamoto replied.
Silence fell in around them again. Tsuna was starting to get sick of this. It was bad enough that he didn’t know the right thing to say to get through to Gokudera. Now the oppressive, gloomy mood was taking hold of Yamamoto as well.
Reborn was the one who came to his rescue. Tsuna had almost forgotten he was there. “Well,” he said suddenly, “it’s getting late. You should both get some rest.”
Grateful as he was for the sudden out, a part of Tsuna was uncertain as to whether it was okay for him to leave. Besides, as wound up as he was, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get any sleep. “Ah… I don’t know if I can.”
But Reborn, it seemed, was not taking no for an answer. “Yamamoto needs it more than anyone right now. You don’t want to keep him up, do you, Tsuna?”
He was clearly being kicked out. “…Ah,” he said at last. “Okay then. See you in the morning, all right?” he said to Yamamoto.
Yamamoto smiled faintly. “Have a good rest, Tsuna.”
Tsuna nodded, then immediately remembered Yamamoto couldn’t see. Awkwardly, he turned and left the room.
---
Yamamoto listened carefully as Tsuna’s footsteps faded away. Once he was gone, he let out a sigh and allowed himself to relax slightly, his shoulders slumping as he leaned back against the bed.
He was ninety percent sure that Reborn was still in the room, but just to make sure, he asked, “Kid?”
“I’m still here,” came the immediate reply. A moment later, Yamamoto felt the bed shift as Reborn’s weight landed gently on top of it.
“Maa… Guess I really put my foot in my mouth there, huh?” he said.
“If we’re talking about mistakes made in the past two hours, I’d say that’s relatively low on the list,” Reborn replied.
Yamamoto fought the urge to wince. “Yeah… I know. I really screwed up.”
“Tell me about Bella Roma,” Reborn said.
Yamamoto sighed. “She was…” He trailed off self-reproachfully. “Better than me.” He gave a short laugh, but then he paused again, a little more thoughtfully. “Well… no. Faster.” Had she really been, though? “Maybe.”
He thought about it a little more. Her speed had been impressive, true, but that wasn’t what had sealed his fate in the end. “…It was like she could see what I was going to do before I did it.”
“Did she say anything to you?” Reborn asked.
“She said she could see my intention…?” He tried to recall her exact words. “Ah-she said I lacked ‘killing intent’, whatever that means.”
All of a sudden he felt a light thwap on the side of his head, making him jerk in surprise.
“It means you’re too soft,” Reborn said admonishingly, but in such a way that Yamamoto sensed it was out of affection as well. The kid always did have a weird way of showing it.
“Ha ha. I definitely picked a bad person to underestimate.” Then, because he felt like that was an understatement, he added, more quietly, “…Sorry. I’m pretty useless to the others like this.”
Another thwap. This time he’d almost been expecting it. “That attitude is even more useless,” Reborn said in a tone that left no room for argument. “If you’re going to obsess over your mistake, you should at least make it productive.”
“I guess,” Yamamoto said.
“Tell me why you lost.”
“…I underestimated her. I didn’t go all-out from the start. Then once I did, I thought I’d be able to catch her by surprise, even though it didn’t work the first time. And at the end, too… I thought she’d do the same as before and wait for me to attack.” That had been a particularly dumb move on his part. “I didn’t expect her to suddenly attack first.”
Reborn’s response was practical as ever. “So then, knowing what you did wrong, what can you do next time to make sure that you win?”
Yamamoto frowned. “That’s just it… I’ve been thinking about it, but I still don’t know. How do you beat someone who can see all your moves coming? And not only that, but now…”
He couldn’t quite manage to get the last part out. Saying it felt too much like a jinx. He was blind. He could be blind forever. With any luck at all, that wouldn’t happen… but in the worst-case scenario, he had to be prepared to face that reality. And it was a reality that made it much more difficult to sort out this particular dilemma.
Reborn was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, “I’m disappointed, Yamamoto. This isn’t like you.”
That took him a little by surprise. Reborn had always been stern when the situation called for it, but even so, it was rare for Yamamoto hear such palpable disapproval in his tone. It stung a little bit. Abashed, he turned his head away, fiddling with the strap of his eye mask.
Thankfully, Reborn took pity on him, because otherwise he might have been sitting there for the rest of the night wondering what he did wrong. “You’re thinking that you’ve already lost, because you lost your sight. But your opponent never had that to begin with. You said the reason you lost is because you underestimated her. But what is it that you’re doing right now?”
For a few seconds, Yamamoto’s mind was blank. But then it suddenly clicked.
“Underestimating myself,” he said.
And even with his lack of sight, he thought he could almost sense the infant hitman’s smile. At the very least, when he spoke again he finally sounded pleased. “As a swordsman, you’re already relying on more than just the usual five senses, even if you don’t always realize it. You and Bella Roma are coming from the same place now. If there’s something she was able to see, then all you have to do is learn for yourself how to see it too.”
(I didn’t ‘see’ through anything. Your intention was clear from the start.)
(I can see your will, Yamamoto Takeshi.)
All of a sudden a small fragment of intuition sparked in his mind. It felt like the beginnings of some sort of understanding.
“I’ll leave you to think on it,” Reborn’s voice said. A moment later, Yamamoto felt his weight leave the bed, and then heard him walking out the door.
---
It had taken way too long for Gokudera to get himself back under control again.
He’d barely made it from the medical wing back to his own room. The instant he closed the door, he’d broken down and cried in a way he hadn’t done since he was a young child.
It felt like everything was trying to spill out from him all at once. First there was the guilt. Guilt over Ganauche, who’d lost his whole fucking arm. Who’d only been hurt because he’d come to Gokudera’s rescue, trusting and acting on Gokudera’s flawed intel, and in doing so had sealed his own fate. Who, ironically, Gokudera had been trying to listen to, whose words he had tried to heed, only to fuck up spectacularly and end up making things so much worse.
Then there was guilt over Yamamoto, who’d only come to Italy because of him. Who had never once complained, and had been completely supportive this whole fucking time; and who was still trying to make him feel better even now, in spite of the fact that he was the one who’d been fucking blinded. Which, again, had only happened because of Gokudera. That scar, the scar that they’d all joked about and made a game out of-that had all been Gokudera’s fault. It was never going to heal. It could never be undone. What had happened to his eyesight might never be undone. Yamamoto, who lived for baseball, and was equally (even infuriatingly) talented with the sword, might never be able to see again.
That was Gokudera’s fault. No matter what the others said, no matter how much Yamamoto pretended like it didn’t matter and kept trying to act like his normal brainless idiot self. It wasn’t fine. It wasn’t okay. And it was on him.
And if all he’d been carrying around was just the guilt, maybe he still would have been able to manage. But it wasn’t just that. Even worse was the fear. Of the what-ifs. Of the inevitable.
Fear that someone else would get hurt-or killed. Because of him.
Fear that Tsuna would get hurt. Or…
(If you’re so determined to hide yourself behind your so-called new family… then I’ll just have to destroy them.)
…Because of him.
Every time he thought about it he wanted to scream. He wanted to seize Tsuna by the wrist and drag him some place far, far away to hide. Somewhere where it would be safe. He wanted to lock Luca and the rest of the DiSanto family up in his childhood home and then nuke it from orbit.
But he couldn’t do those things. Even if Tsuna wanted to leave with him, there was no such thing as a truly safe place to hide. Not from Luca. And even if there had been, he had no right to just uproot Tsuna’s whole life like that. Especially when the whole thing had nothing to do with him in the first place. There was no problem for Tsuna without Gokudera there. The problem solved itself. It was his issue, and no one else’s.
The ironic thing was, he had searched for so long to find a family like this. People that cared enough to put themselves at risk for his sake. And now that he finally had that, it was the thought of losing it, of having to leave it forever, that was slowly destroying him from the inside out.
(I will give you one day.)
He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave them. Just the thought of never seeing them again was so painful he wanted to rip his heart out to stop feeling it. He would do anything for them. For Tsuna. He’d take a bullet for them in a heartbeat. He would take a thousand bullets. He would give his own life, if it came to that, if he had no other choice.
But to leave? To walk out, knowing he was leaving them behind? To be forced to move on and spend the rest of his life without them? That was something else entirely.
That, he knew, would break him.
But that was what was being demanded.
And if he didn’t go through with it… he already knew the price he would pay.
(I will personally kill the Vongola Tenth, and I will make you watch.)
There was no doubt in his mind as to whether Luca would actually do it. And he’d already underestimated him once. To make that mistake again a second time, with Tsuna’s life now on the line, knowing what Luca could do-he couldn’t let that happen.
He would not let that happen.
That was the thought that kept him from falling apart now that he knew what he had to do. It was the mantra that had allowed him to finally get back up and to start formulating his plan.
There wasn’t much to it; it was, after all, not the first time he’d snuck his way out of an Italian estate in the middle of the night. And he had spent much of the previous day memorizing the building’s layout for just this reason. He’d taken careful note of the security details as well. He was confident he would be able to pull it off.
And right now was the best time to do it. It was already late, and the people that were still up were distracted with the goings-on in the medical wing. He couldn’t put it off; Luca had only given him a single day, after all. And really, most of all he just needed to do it now, while he still had the will to make the attempt. Before he lost his nerve.
He briefly considered leaving a note behind, but he knew that the process of trying to write one out would just derail him all over again, and then he wouldn’t be able to do it. He was already starting to waver. And there was a good chance, too, that Tsuna would come by his room once he was done visiting with Yamamoto. And if he did-if Gokudera saw his face again-he knew he would freeze up.
Unbidden, the memory of leaving his childhood home all those years ago stirred up in his mind. His sister’s voice calling after him, trying to stop him. The way he had forced himself to ignore it, to keep running.
He wouldn’t be strong enough to do that again.
The only thing he did leave behind was his Vongola Gear. That he laid neatly atop his bedspread. He hoped that would be enough.
Stealthily, he made his way through the gardens surrounding the estate until he reached a secluded area on the northern end of the grounds. There was a large wall that ran the entire circumference of the property, but this one particular section was not as well-lit or guarded. Trees and vines more or less hid the space from view from the rest of the area. It was definitely his best shot.
But just as he was preparing to scale it, his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden meowing sound coming from close by.
With a start, he spun his head, looking for the source of the cry. It couldn’t be…
It was. “-Uri?” he whispered in surprise. His hand dropped automatically to his belt, before he remembered that he’d left the Buckle back inside. So how, then, had Uri gotten out…?
There was no time to ponder it, though-Uri was already scampering back off toward the mansion, and if anyone spotted him, Gokudera’s cover would instantly be blown. Biting back a curse, Gokudera sprinted after him.
“Uri!” he called again in a low voice as the little cat slowed down and took a sudden detour toward the interior of one of the gardens. With another curse, Gokudera followed him. This part of the grounds was not as dark; landscape lighting had been tastefully installed along the paths, illuminating them in a soft orange glow.
Just up ahead was a small marble fountain. The main reservoir was set deep into the ground, so that the pool was almost at ground level. Uri skipped right up to it and immediately began lapping at the gently rippling water as though it were a hot summer day.
Then, to Gokudera’s horror, he heard footsteps approaching. And before he could do anything, Uri suddenly perked up with excitement.
And then, just like that, he was bounding forward and then leaping straight into the waiting person’s arms, where he mewled with delight.
“Ah-Uri!” the person said in surprise, and Gokudera suddenly felt a feeling of dread that he’d never thought he would ever experience at the sound of that particular voice.
This was what he’d been afraid of. Even with all the resolve in the entire world, this was the one thing that nothing could have ever prepared him to face.
“…Gokudera-kun?”
---
Continue to Chapter 8
( Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 )
Additional Notes - Oh man. All right, so just a heads up, I will try to have the next chapter out on Thursday as per usual, but even after a full month of editing I’m still fussing around with it, so worst case scenario it’ll come out on Friday instead. It’s just really important to me to get it right.
Also, it’s a small detail, but the idea that it might be seen as an inconsistency bothers me, so: Gokudera did indeed leave his earpiece back at the bar. Ganauche, however, brought his with him, but switched it off to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally tip off the enemy (and to keep from getting distracted). So that’s what Gokudera used to call for help after Luca left. Now you know! I’m sure all of you were really fucking concerned about this critical part of the story lol.
Title - Blood of the Covenant
Rating - PG-13 for language and violence
Characters - Gokudera, Tsuna, Reborn, Yamamoto
Notes - I am not a doctor, and there’s a limit to how much research I was willing to do for this fanfic written for a series in which people are regularly stabbed, blown up, have their internal organs removed, and so forth, and yet still come out of it just fine in the end. So I apologize if any of this is so inaccurate as to fuck with anyone’s suspension of disbelief. In the end I figured that probably just comes with the territory.
Warnings - Some description of injuries, but nothing especially graphic or triggering (I think) in this chapter.
Target 07 - My Fault
“Ow,” Anthony hissed as Bella applied a particularly painful healing touch to his injured arm.
“I told you not to move,” Bella muttered as she smacked him lightly on the side of the head.
“I didn’t move!”
“You moved just now.”
“Because you just jabbed my fresh bullet wound out of nowhere and then scolded me for moving!”
That earned him another smack. However, when Bella resumed her Sun flame-assisted ministrations a moment later, her touch was noticeably more delicate, something which Anthony didn’t fail to take notice of.
…He was lucky.
He was very lucky. They all had been. The more he thought about it, the more nerve-wracked it made him in hindsight.
Bella had been insistent on returning to the castle as soon as Reborn had gone, but Anthony had refused until they could make sure that Luca was okay. Reborn’s words hadn’t sat well with him, not at all.
(He wouldn’t do anything that would put the family in harm’s way.)
(That’s an interesting thing to say, considering that he already has.)
Combine that with “we already know where to find you”, and the message could not be clearer. The Vongola had been toying with them up until now. It was evident that they were more than capable of wiping out the DiSanto family without a second thought, should they choose to do so.
If a single man had been capable of taking out a hundred of their best, they had no chance of winning this thing. Maybe Luca’s abilities could shift things back in their favor a little, but in the end it would not be enough.
And so he’d immediately tried to get Luca on the comm as soon as Reborn had made his exit. But Luca hadn’t responded. And so Anthony had stood there fearing the worst, and frantically dispatching their remaining men to go and find him, while Bella had urgent medical assistance sent out to aid the men that Reborn had taken down.
It had taken almost twenty minutes for his men to finally report back that they’d found Luca, and were en route back to the headquarters. The news came as a huge relief, only…
Only, Luca had refused to speak with Anthony himself.
Obviously this meant that something had gone down, but what it was, Anthony had not the slightest guess. Luca must have met with Hayato, or he wouldn’t be behaving so strangely now. He could only hope Luca hadn’t done anything to send the family tumbling from this knife’s edge they were so precariously balanced on at present.
He needed to talk to him. But he had no idea how to approach it.
A soft hand on his cheek startled him out of his thoughts, and he reached up to place his hand over Bella’s as he opened his eyes. “Sorry. I spaced out.”
She kept her hand where it was, gently caressing the side of his face as she closed her own eyes. “…You’re afraid.”
He gave a short, humorless laugh. “What gave that away?”
“You didn’t used to care so much.”
“Not true. I just didn’t always have this much to lose.”
“You knew when we started this that there was no going back.”
“I know, I know. But you have to admit, things are starting to get out of hand now.” He sighed. “In hindsight, ‘no going back’… seems like kind of a dumb policy.”
“Do you think he’ll listen?” Bella said after a moment.
“I don’t know. But this has gone far enough.”
“I know you don’t want to go against him,” she said. “But what he’s doing is careless.”
“Yep. Figured that out right around the time I got shot.”
She smiled and moved to start bandaging up his wound, which now looked a great deal better than it had just minutes ago.
“I’m just lucky that guy decided to leave me alive,” Anthony said thoughtfully. “…Speaking of. It’s a good thing you didn’t kill that Rain kid, either.”
Bella made a noncommittal noise as she continued to wrap his arm.
“…He wasn’t bad,” she said finally. “But he’s young still, and he fights too straightforwardly, relies too much on his surface instincts. I wanted to see what would happen if he were forced to look beyond that.”
“You sound like you’re already preparing for round two,” Anthony said after a beat.
And even though he’d hoped that she would deny it, he wasn’t much surprised when she didn’t.
---
It was taking everything Tsuna had to keep it together. He was pretty sure the only reason he hadn’t actually fallen to pieces yet was because out of the three of them, he was the only one who’d come out of the latest round of battles pretty much unscathed, and right now the last thing Yamamoto and Gokudera needed was a hysterical and distraught sham of a leader on their hands.
He’d found Yamamoto pretty much right where they’d left him, in the piazza just outside their stake-out bistro. Much to his relief, Yamamoto had at first glance appeared relatively unharmed, aside from a few scrapes and cuts (one in particular on his chin which had drudged up more than a few unsettling memories).
However, he’d soon discovered that the worst of the damage wasn’t nearly so obvious as that.
(Hey, Tsuna. …Don’t freak out, okay?)
To put it plainly, Yamamoto had been blinded.
This wasn’t something Tsuna himself was entirely unfamiliar with. During their final battle with the Vindice, he had at one point fallen victim to a nearly identical attack. However, in his case, he’d recovered fairly quickly, his vision starting to return in a matter of minutes. For Yamamoto, it didn’t seem that things would be so easy. It had been several hours since the fight, and although he was still as optimistic and cheerful as ever, Yamamoto so far had yet to regain even the smallest measure of his eyesight.
And he wasn’t even the worst off. Although they had managed to avoid any fatalities on their end-which was something of a minor miracle-two of Vongola’s number were nonetheless still in critical condition. The first was one of the soldiers they had posted in disguise outside the restaurant-apparently, he’d been the one that Yamamoto’s opponent, Bella Roma, had stabbed at the outset of their encounter. He had very nearly died, but fortunately the Vongola’s medics had been able to get to him in time. Now that the worst had passed, they were optimistic that he would make a full recovery.
Unfortunately the same could not quite be said for the other victim of the night’s events. That man was currently lying unconscious in a nearby room.
(“Hello?! Anyone copy?”
Tsuna’s hand sprung to his ear. “-Gokudera-kun! What-”
“I need medical now! It’s an emergency!”
Panic immediately arose in Tsuna as Gokudera rattled off his rough location. “Are you all right?!” he said.
“…It’s not me, it’s-Ganauche. His arm…” Gokudera’s voice was shaking over the comm. “There’s-he’s bleeding really bad.”
“What happened?” Yamamoto said, sounding as concerned as Tsuna felt.
It took a moment for Gokudera to reply. They could hear his breathing, sounding just as rough and unsteady as his voice. “It was Luca,” he finally said. “-My fault. …I was wrong.”)
After that, they hadn’t been able to get much of anything else out of him. Fortunately, Reborn had arrived at Gokudera’s location moments later, with a medical team not far behind. The medics had done their best, but apparently they had been unable to salvage what remained of Ganauche’s left arm. They’d taken him back to the base and, after treated him for blood loss as well, were now currently at work getting him outfitted for a prosthetic.
As for Gokudera, Tsuna’s concerns had only mounted as the night wore on. He’d been covered in blood when Tsuna and Yamamoto had finally reached his location; it seemed he had been trying to keep Ganauche from bleeding out in the aftermath of their as-yet-unexplained encounter with Gokudera’s brother. He’d also had a split lip, as well as several other scrapes and bruises on his face; yet another thing he had yet to offer up any kind of explanation for.
What concerned Tsuna most of all, though, was the fact that since they had reunited, Gokudera had spoken a total of exactly six words to the both of them. “Are you all right?” first and foremost, followed only with: “I’m sorry.”
Since then, he had lapsed into complete silence, to the point where Tsuna found himself worriedly glancing over at him what felt like every few seconds, afraid that he might actually be falling into shock. He’d never seen Gokudera like this, not even when they’d been at their lowest points. Not even when the two of them had first found themselves trapped in the nightmarish ten-years-from-now future, or during Gokudera’s subsequent bout of depression during his training with the older Bianchi.
Currently they were both standing in the corner of Yamamoto’s room in the Vongola’s medical wing, along with Reborn. Yamamoto was sitting up in bed, patiently complying with a doctor who was shining a little handheld light into each of his eyes as she ran him through a series of tests.
Gokudera had his arms crossed, and was leaning on the wall. It might have almost seemed casual at first glance, had he not been so unnaturally rigid, and had his fingers not been pressed into his upper arm so tightly that the skin under his nails had gone white. Tsuna had at least managed to coax him into changing out of his bloodstained clothes, but he didn’t look much better off for the effort. In fact, Tsuna didn’t think he’d ever seen him looking this upset.
But the worst of it, Tsuna found, was that he was discovering that he had absolutely no idea what to say or how to act around Gokudera in this type of situation. Every time he opened his mouth to try, his brain came up short. And he was starting to feel increasingly guilty about it.
The trouble was, he and Gokudera had never had that type of relationship before, where they were able to fully open up to each other about whatever fears and troubles they were experiencing. Or at least, Tsuna amended, Gokudera had never had that type of relationship with him.
He was slowly coming to realize that in the two years they had known each other, Gokudera had never once confessed to him even the smallest doubt, or come to him with even the most minor personal dilemma. Instead, he would always force a smile whenever such a topic arose, and assure Tsuna that he was fine, with what Tsuna now realized must have been a considerable amount of feigned cheerfulness.
And Tsuna had never once tried to press him about it. Because the truth was, part of Tsuna had never wanted to. On some level, he had known there were parts of Gokudera that he kept hidden away, and yet Tsuna been content to let him do so, too fearful-and too selfish-to ever press the matter further.
Because in all honesty, to him, that side of Gokudera represented a part of the mafia world that he was still wary of coming to know. And even though he cared very much about Gokudera, a part of Tsuna-a small, shameful part-was still a little afraid of him. Or, more precisely, of coming face to face with that darker side of the mafia that he still so adamantly rejected.
And so he’d maintained a sort of comfortable distance between them, keeping that part of him at arm’s length. And he allowed Gokudera’s own overwhelming admiration and respect for him to play its part in maintaining that distance as well. Even though it bothered Tsuna sometimes that Gokudera even now so obviously thought of him first and foremost as a Boss, and then a friend, there were certain advantages to being the object of that level of deference. Gokudera always went out of his way to avoid burdening him, and for a very long time, Tsuna had been all too content to not be burdened.
But now things had changed. Right now, Gokudera clearly needed a friend more than ever. And Tsuna could no longer stand to just sit back and watch while he spiraled and kept trying to go it alone. It had scared Tsuna more than he’d thought possible when he’d realized Gokudera had gone running off after Luca on his own. And that fear had only compounded once he’d seen for himself just how badly Ganauche had been injured.
And maybe it was a little terrible that a small part of him had also been relieved, even though one of their own had been hurt so badly, because at least Gokudera was still unharmed. But he couldn’t help it. And since that moment, he hadn’t been able to stop from thinking about how it could just as easily have been Gokudera who’d gotten hurt instead, and how he wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.
That thought haunted him. And he wanted to confront Gokudera about it, to take him by the shoulders and scream at him and ask him why, and just what in the hell had possessed him to do that.
But he couldn’t find it in him to go through with it. Every time he thought about what to do, what to say, he simply froze. He’d let that awkward gap flourish in between them for too long, and now that he was finally ready and willing to try and bridge it, he had absolutely no idea how.
And so here he was, just watching Gokudera quietly suffer and continue to close himself off, while all the while Tsuna simply scuffed his feet and did nothing, all because he felt too uncomfortable to bring it up. He was pathetic.
Finding himself at a loss yet again, he finally turned his attention back to Yamamoto for the time being. The doctor had finished her examination and had fastened what looked like one of those airplane sleep masks over Yamamoto’s eyes. Having done so, she had then started to scribble something on a notepad while the rest of them waited awkwardly.
“Well?” Tsuna asked once he couldn’t bear the weird silence any longer. “How is he?”
“There was significant corneal damage in both eyes,” the doctor replied, “but whether it’s temporary or permanent is impossible to say for certain yet. For now, we’ve done all the healing we can, and he should keep the mask in place until further notice. The lights should remain dimmed as well.”
She finished scribbling her notes and stood, gathering her things. “Aside from that, unfortunately, the only thing we can do is wait and see if his sight starts to recover. I’d say we’ll know for sure in the next twenty-four hours or so.”
“Thank you,” Yamamoto said with a sheepish smile.
The doctor nodded. “Make sure you get some rest.” With that, she exited the room, leaving the rest of them still standing there as the uncomfortable quiet slowly settled in around them once again.
Just when Tsuna thought he was about to snap from the pressure of trying to rack his brain for something to say, Yamamoto came to his rescue. “Wow, it just got so quiet all of a sudden,” he said, mirroring Tsuna’s thoughts exactly.
Tsuna gave a weak laugh in reply, grateful for Yamamoto’s ever-present optimism, although he still wasn’t sure what to say in response. Fortunately, Yamamoto seemed to pick up on this, and continued with his show of good cheer. “Come on, guys, don’t be so down. It’s not that bad, really! At times like these, we just have to pick ourselves back up again, right?”
“…Right,” Tsuna agreed, wishing he felt it more than he actually did.
“Heh. So no more worrying about me, okay, Tsuna? I mean it, all right?”
“All right,” Tsuna promised. It was a lie, but right now he knew it was what Yamamoto needed to hear. He wouldn’t relax until he was assured that the others wouldn’t continue to stress all night about his condition.
He did feel a little better, though, when Yamamoto beamed at him in response. Maybe that really had been the right thing to say.
“You too, Gokudera,” Yamamoto said after a slight pause. “No more worrying, okay?”
This was a fairly obvious ploy on Yamamoto’s part to get the other boy to finally snap out of his preoccupied, close-mouthed state. Still, Tsuna held his breath for a moment, praying that it might actually work. Any other time, such a statement from Yamamoto-suggesting that Gokudera of all people might actually be worried about him-would guarantee an indignant outburst.
This time, however, Gokudera said nothing, but instead simply looked away, his expression darker than ever.
“…Heh,” Yamamoto said after a moment, undaunted. Then his face brightened and he suddenly laughed for real. “Oh, hey, that reminds me!” He reached up to touch the bandage on his chin. “Told you it wasn’t a stop sign, ha ha!”
Gokudera immediately went stiff, looking completely stricken. Tsuna felt his stomach plummet. For a moment, he was almost in disbelief. For Yamamoto, who usually had an uncanny knack for putting people at ease, it was by far the worst he had ever seen him misread a situation.
To his credit, he almost immediately seemed to realize the joke hadn’t landed the way he’d intended. “Gokudera-” he began apologetically, but Gokudera had already turned and was now moving to hastily exit the room.
“Gokudera-kun, wait…” Tsuna said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He froze at the touch and turned to meet Tsuna’s eyes guiltily. “Boss… I…” He faltered then, and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t…”
His voice sounded so broken up that after a moment Tsuna allowed his hand to slip back from his shoulder, letting him go, feeling ashamed and useless even as he did so. A strained silence settled around the room as Gokudera’s footsteps disappeared down the hall.
“Ah… I didn’t…” Yamamoto said, sounding extremely contrite, though it was a little hard to read his face while he was wearing the eye mask.
“You didn’t mean anything by it,” said Tsuna.
“I didn’t think he’d…”
“I don’t think it’s your fault,” Tsuna said, not wanting him to feel badly about it. “Right now, he’s just…”
“…Yeah,” Yamamoto replied.
Silence fell in around them again. Tsuna was starting to get sick of this. It was bad enough that he didn’t know the right thing to say to get through to Gokudera. Now the oppressive, gloomy mood was taking hold of Yamamoto as well.
Reborn was the one who came to his rescue. Tsuna had almost forgotten he was there. “Well,” he said suddenly, “it’s getting late. You should both get some rest.”
Grateful as he was for the sudden out, a part of Tsuna was uncertain as to whether it was okay for him to leave. Besides, as wound up as he was, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get any sleep. “Ah… I don’t know if I can.”
But Reborn, it seemed, was not taking no for an answer. “Yamamoto needs it more than anyone right now. You don’t want to keep him up, do you, Tsuna?”
He was clearly being kicked out. “…Ah,” he said at last. “Okay then. See you in the morning, all right?” he said to Yamamoto.
Yamamoto smiled faintly. “Have a good rest, Tsuna.”
Tsuna nodded, then immediately remembered Yamamoto couldn’t see. Awkwardly, he turned and left the room.
---
Yamamoto listened carefully as Tsuna’s footsteps faded away. Once he was gone, he let out a sigh and allowed himself to relax slightly, his shoulders slumping as he leaned back against the bed.
He was ninety percent sure that Reborn was still in the room, but just to make sure, he asked, “Kid?”
“I’m still here,” came the immediate reply. A moment later, Yamamoto felt the bed shift as Reborn’s weight landed gently on top of it.
“Maa… Guess I really put my foot in my mouth there, huh?” he said.
“If we’re talking about mistakes made in the past two hours, I’d say that’s relatively low on the list,” Reborn replied.
Yamamoto fought the urge to wince. “Yeah… I know. I really screwed up.”
“Tell me about Bella Roma,” Reborn said.
Yamamoto sighed. “She was…” He trailed off self-reproachfully. “Better than me.” He gave a short laugh, but then he paused again, a little more thoughtfully. “Well… no. Faster.” Had she really been, though? “Maybe.”
He thought about it a little more. Her speed had been impressive, true, but that wasn’t what had sealed his fate in the end. “…It was like she could see what I was going to do before I did it.”
“Did she say anything to you?” Reborn asked.
“She said she could see my intention…?” He tried to recall her exact words. “Ah-she said I lacked ‘killing intent’, whatever that means.”
All of a sudden he felt a light thwap on the side of his head, making him jerk in surprise.
“It means you’re too soft,” Reborn said admonishingly, but in such a way that Yamamoto sensed it was out of affection as well. The kid always did have a weird way of showing it.
“Ha ha. I definitely picked a bad person to underestimate.” Then, because he felt like that was an understatement, he added, more quietly, “…Sorry. I’m pretty useless to the others like this.”
Another thwap. This time he’d almost been expecting it. “That attitude is even more useless,” Reborn said in a tone that left no room for argument. “If you’re going to obsess over your mistake, you should at least make it productive.”
“I guess,” Yamamoto said.
“Tell me why you lost.”
“…I underestimated her. I didn’t go all-out from the start. Then once I did, I thought I’d be able to catch her by surprise, even though it didn’t work the first time. And at the end, too… I thought she’d do the same as before and wait for me to attack.” That had been a particularly dumb move on his part. “I didn’t expect her to suddenly attack first.”
Reborn’s response was practical as ever. “So then, knowing what you did wrong, what can you do next time to make sure that you win?”
Yamamoto frowned. “That’s just it… I’ve been thinking about it, but I still don’t know. How do you beat someone who can see all your moves coming? And not only that, but now…”
He couldn’t quite manage to get the last part out. Saying it felt too much like a jinx. He was blind. He could be blind forever. With any luck at all, that wouldn’t happen… but in the worst-case scenario, he had to be prepared to face that reality. And it was a reality that made it much more difficult to sort out this particular dilemma.
Reborn was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, “I’m disappointed, Yamamoto. This isn’t like you.”
That took him a little by surprise. Reborn had always been stern when the situation called for it, but even so, it was rare for Yamamoto hear such palpable disapproval in his tone. It stung a little bit. Abashed, he turned his head away, fiddling with the strap of his eye mask.
Thankfully, Reborn took pity on him, because otherwise he might have been sitting there for the rest of the night wondering what he did wrong. “You’re thinking that you’ve already lost, because you lost your sight. But your opponent never had that to begin with. You said the reason you lost is because you underestimated her. But what is it that you’re doing right now?”
For a few seconds, Yamamoto’s mind was blank. But then it suddenly clicked.
“Underestimating myself,” he said.
And even with his lack of sight, he thought he could almost sense the infant hitman’s smile. At the very least, when he spoke again he finally sounded pleased. “As a swordsman, you’re already relying on more than just the usual five senses, even if you don’t always realize it. You and Bella Roma are coming from the same place now. If there’s something she was able to see, then all you have to do is learn for yourself how to see it too.”
(I didn’t ‘see’ through anything. Your intention was clear from the start.)
(I can see your will, Yamamoto Takeshi.)
All of a sudden a small fragment of intuition sparked in his mind. It felt like the beginnings of some sort of understanding.
“I’ll leave you to think on it,” Reborn’s voice said. A moment later, Yamamoto felt his weight leave the bed, and then heard him walking out the door.
---
It had taken way too long for Gokudera to get himself back under control again.
He’d barely made it from the medical wing back to his own room. The instant he closed the door, he’d broken down and cried in a way he hadn’t done since he was a young child.
It felt like everything was trying to spill out from him all at once. First there was the guilt. Guilt over Ganauche, who’d lost his whole fucking arm. Who’d only been hurt because he’d come to Gokudera’s rescue, trusting and acting on Gokudera’s flawed intel, and in doing so had sealed his own fate. Who, ironically, Gokudera had been trying to listen to, whose words he had tried to heed, only to fuck up spectacularly and end up making things so much worse.
Then there was guilt over Yamamoto, who’d only come to Italy because of him. Who had never once complained, and had been completely supportive this whole fucking time; and who was still trying to make him feel better even now, in spite of the fact that he was the one who’d been fucking blinded. Which, again, had only happened because of Gokudera. That scar, the scar that they’d all joked about and made a game out of-that had all been Gokudera’s fault. It was never going to heal. It could never be undone. What had happened to his eyesight might never be undone. Yamamoto, who lived for baseball, and was equally (even infuriatingly) talented with the sword, might never be able to see again.
That was Gokudera’s fault. No matter what the others said, no matter how much Yamamoto pretended like it didn’t matter and kept trying to act like his normal brainless idiot self. It wasn’t fine. It wasn’t okay. And it was on him.
And if all he’d been carrying around was just the guilt, maybe he still would have been able to manage. But it wasn’t just that. Even worse was the fear. Of the what-ifs. Of the inevitable.
Fear that someone else would get hurt-or killed. Because of him.
Fear that Tsuna would get hurt. Or…
(If you’re so determined to hide yourself behind your so-called new family… then I’ll just have to destroy them.)
…Because of him.
Every time he thought about it he wanted to scream. He wanted to seize Tsuna by the wrist and drag him some place far, far away to hide. Somewhere where it would be safe. He wanted to lock Luca and the rest of the DiSanto family up in his childhood home and then nuke it from orbit.
But he couldn’t do those things. Even if Tsuna wanted to leave with him, there was no such thing as a truly safe place to hide. Not from Luca. And even if there had been, he had no right to just uproot Tsuna’s whole life like that. Especially when the whole thing had nothing to do with him in the first place. There was no problem for Tsuna without Gokudera there. The problem solved itself. It was his issue, and no one else’s.
The ironic thing was, he had searched for so long to find a family like this. People that cared enough to put themselves at risk for his sake. And now that he finally had that, it was the thought of losing it, of having to leave it forever, that was slowly destroying him from the inside out.
(I will give you one day.)
He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave them. Just the thought of never seeing them again was so painful he wanted to rip his heart out to stop feeling it. He would do anything for them. For Tsuna. He’d take a bullet for them in a heartbeat. He would take a thousand bullets. He would give his own life, if it came to that, if he had no other choice.
But to leave? To walk out, knowing he was leaving them behind? To be forced to move on and spend the rest of his life without them? That was something else entirely.
That, he knew, would break him.
But that was what was being demanded.
And if he didn’t go through with it… he already knew the price he would pay.
(I will personally kill the Vongola Tenth, and I will make you watch.)
There was no doubt in his mind as to whether Luca would actually do it. And he’d already underestimated him once. To make that mistake again a second time, with Tsuna’s life now on the line, knowing what Luca could do-he couldn’t let that happen.
He would not let that happen.
That was the thought that kept him from falling apart now that he knew what he had to do. It was the mantra that had allowed him to finally get back up and to start formulating his plan.
There wasn’t much to it; it was, after all, not the first time he’d snuck his way out of an Italian estate in the middle of the night. And he had spent much of the previous day memorizing the building’s layout for just this reason. He’d taken careful note of the security details as well. He was confident he would be able to pull it off.
And right now was the best time to do it. It was already late, and the people that were still up were distracted with the goings-on in the medical wing. He couldn’t put it off; Luca had only given him a single day, after all. And really, most of all he just needed to do it now, while he still had the will to make the attempt. Before he lost his nerve.
He briefly considered leaving a note behind, but he knew that the process of trying to write one out would just derail him all over again, and then he wouldn’t be able to do it. He was already starting to waver. And there was a good chance, too, that Tsuna would come by his room once he was done visiting with Yamamoto. And if he did-if Gokudera saw his face again-he knew he would freeze up.
Unbidden, the memory of leaving his childhood home all those years ago stirred up in his mind. His sister’s voice calling after him, trying to stop him. The way he had forced himself to ignore it, to keep running.
He wouldn’t be strong enough to do that again.
The only thing he did leave behind was his Vongola Gear. That he laid neatly atop his bedspread. He hoped that would be enough.
Stealthily, he made his way through the gardens surrounding the estate until he reached a secluded area on the northern end of the grounds. There was a large wall that ran the entire circumference of the property, but this one particular section was not as well-lit or guarded. Trees and vines more or less hid the space from view from the rest of the area. It was definitely his best shot.
But just as he was preparing to scale it, his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden meowing sound coming from close by.
With a start, he spun his head, looking for the source of the cry. It couldn’t be…
It was. “-Uri?” he whispered in surprise. His hand dropped automatically to his belt, before he remembered that he’d left the Buckle back inside. So how, then, had Uri gotten out…?
There was no time to ponder it, though-Uri was already scampering back off toward the mansion, and if anyone spotted him, Gokudera’s cover would instantly be blown. Biting back a curse, Gokudera sprinted after him.
“Uri!” he called again in a low voice as the little cat slowed down and took a sudden detour toward the interior of one of the gardens. With another curse, Gokudera followed him. This part of the grounds was not as dark; landscape lighting had been tastefully installed along the paths, illuminating them in a soft orange glow.
Just up ahead was a small marble fountain. The main reservoir was set deep into the ground, so that the pool was almost at ground level. Uri skipped right up to it and immediately began lapping at the gently rippling water as though it were a hot summer day.
Then, to Gokudera’s horror, he heard footsteps approaching. And before he could do anything, Uri suddenly perked up with excitement.
And then, just like that, he was bounding forward and then leaping straight into the waiting person’s arms, where he mewled with delight.
“Ah-Uri!” the person said in surprise, and Gokudera suddenly felt a feeling of dread that he’d never thought he would ever experience at the sound of that particular voice.
This was what he’d been afraid of. Even with all the resolve in the entire world, this was the one thing that nothing could have ever prepared him to face.
“…Gokudera-kun?”
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Continue to Chapter 8
( Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 )
Additional Notes - Oh man. All right, so just a heads up, I will try to have the next chapter out on Thursday as per usual, but even after a full month of editing I’m still fussing around with it, so worst case scenario it’ll come out on Friday instead. It’s just really important to me to get it right.
Also, it’s a small detail, but the idea that it might be seen as an inconsistency bothers me, so: Gokudera did indeed leave his earpiece back at the bar. Ganauche, however, brought his with him, but switched it off to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally tip off the enemy (and to keep from getting distracted). So that’s what Gokudera used to call for help after Luca left. Now you know! I’m sure all of you were really fucking concerned about this critical part of the story lol.