Comments | make_your_move: Time to talk

make_your_move

Time to talk

Jan 04, 2008 11:14

I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately. A lot of it has to do with Cait, and it's been impossible to talk about it. But I realized last night as I was loving and talking my daughter through this very same issue - that it was time for me to take my own advice. To talk about her and my memoires and the grief. Sometimes it'll be funny, ( Read more... )

cait

Comments 12

belthazar_b January 4 2008, 17:47:16 UTC

*hug**love*

chavah January 4 2008, 20:29:09 UTC

Thanks! This made me smile... I hope writing it made you smile more than cry. I'm glad you're ready to talk. you needed the other stages too, but I'm glad you're ready for this one. Many hugs!

PS... I know what you mean about the past-tense. I still slip up sometimes and refer to my mom or my friend Shari in the present tense. I think that's ok though. they are gone physically, but they still exist for us in our memories. In our minds and hearts they do exist in the present.

mellyflori January 4 2008, 21:00:25 UTC

I am having just the shittiest day and I hate that shitty things are even shittier because I can't freakin' call her and talk about it. I tried to imagine the call today and I could hear her voice and I know what she would have said but

it's not the same. It's not ever ever the same.

make_your_move January 4 2008, 21:14:40 UTC

I love you very much, and you can call here anytime. I'm not funny or even creatively smart, but I have a good ear.

Love on the C-monster tonight for me, K?

soubrettic January 5 2008, 21:17:22 UTC

I didn't know Cait, but I enjoyed reading this... thank you for sharing her, and yourself, here.

And the scary is ... when I first saw this in the library of her house -- I didn't remember it - or where it was taken, or what was so funny at the time. "Oh my god" I thought "What kind of friend am I that I can't even remember this?" -- Alex told me about it, for which I am entirely grateful. But still ... we knew each other for 15 years and it's scary what I don't remember because right now those memories are precious to me, like gold in the bank.

I remember this feeling all too well. For what it's worth, I came to feel this way: if Cait were alive today and arriving at your house in an hour, you probably wouldn't remember that day either. She might not herself, but the two of you wouldn't be worried about it because you wouldn't be focusing on the past. But, here's the thing: you can memorize abstract facts, but you live relationships -- and that means that some events soak in and become part of you to the degree that you can't see ( ... )

keltique January 6 2008, 02:44:51 UTC

***hugs to you, darlin'****