Mo Chuisle Mo Chroí Chapter 6/?

Sep 04, 2009 23:13



Mo Chuisle Mo Chroí Chapter 6/?

Mo Chuisle Mo Chroí is a Gaelic term of endearment meaning Pulse of my Heart. Pronounced mu khwish-la muh cree

Author: Magos186

Summary: On the verge of losing Justin, Brian decides to take him away. Can the two find their way back together while they're away from "helpful" suggestions from their family? Or will Justin disappear on him once they return...

This is a season 2 AU.

Word Count: 2.386

Disclaimer: I don’t own them. Closest I come is the dvd. They’re just fun to play with.

Memories for Mo Chuisle Mo Chroi

A/N: I know I know. Finally a new chapter. Sorry. This chapter has been giving me a lot of trouble.


Brian woke to the feeling of fingers ghosting over his chest drawing invisible symbols. For a minute he was confused. It had been months since Justin was content to simply lie in bed with him like this. Then he remembered that they were in Ireland, at his Mámó’s house, and Justin had come with him in hopes of fixing their relationship. Yes, he said relationship. It’s not like he couldn’t say the word. It was much like telling his blond how much he loved him. He knew the words; he just didn’t know how to express them. But more than that, he was afraid. When the two people who are supposed to love you unconditionally tell you that you’re worthless, that you’re not significant enough to love…at some point you start to believe it’s true. Besides, aside from his grandmother and cousin, he had no one telling him otherwise. Sure, the gang in Pittsburgh calls him family, but the truth is, aside from Ted and Emmett, their not. He does refer to Debbie as maw, because in many ways she took better care of him than his own mother, but she belittles him just as much. They all think he doesn’t listen to them. Justin thinks he doesn’t listen, but he hears everything and it hurts him more deeply than they will ever know. Every time they call him an asshole, or put him down in some other way, like suggesting he’s not good enough to be Gus’ father, or he doesn’t deserve to be with someone…they all think he’s this uncaring, unlovable piece of shit and most of the time, that’s how he feels.

Meeting Justin was the best thing that ever happened to him. The blond made him feel like maybe he wasn’t as worthless as everyone else believed. Brian was content-happy in their life together. He enjoyed Justin’s company, more than just for the sex. He loved going to sleep and waking up with the blond in his arms. He had never slept with anyone else at night, aside from the occasional night with Mikey. He preferred sleeping alone to having someone else hogging his space. But Justin was different. The way Justin held onto him at night, draped himself over him, made him feel as if he was the luckiest man in the world. There was something he wished to be different though. He wished with all his heart that he could go back in time and have his Mámó find him sooner. By the time she got to him, he was already too jaded…too broken.

Brian woke up in a strange room, his body stiff and aching. He looked around, quickly realizing he was in the hospital. ‘It must have been bad this time’ he thought to himself. ‘Wonder how long it will be before he does it again. Wonder what excuse dear old mom came up with to tell the doctors.’

“Brian?” a soft, feminine voice called gently. He immediately knew it wasn’t his mother. For one, she never talked to him in such a kind voice. For another, his name sounded strange, which meant whoever was speaking, had some kind of accent. “Who are you?” he asked, turning his head towards the voice. Sitting in the corner of his room was a woman with long, red hair pulled back into a braid. She wore a black blouse and blue jeans. ‘She looks nice’ he thought as she stood and began moving towards his bed.

“My name is Brianna Dunn. I’m your grandmother.” The boy’s eyes opened wide in shock at that statement.

“I-I-I don’t have any grandparents,” he stuttered nervously.

“Yes darlin, you do. I’m your mother’s mother. We’ve never met. I live in Ireland.”

“But mom said-”

“Whatever she told you is a lie. I disowned her. Do you know what that means?” Brian didn’t speak, he just nodded his head yes. “When she was fourteen,” Brianna continued, “My husband became very ill. I sent Joan to America to live with her sister Mary, who was in college at the time. About a year went by before my husband passed. The girls came home for a while, but Mary had to go back to finish school. Joan asked to go back with her. She said she liked it in the States. So I agreed. A few years later, Joan told me she met someone-Jack Kinney. She was only seventeen at the time. I met him when I went over for Mary’s graduation. I knew immediately he was a bad egg. He was rude and had no respect for anyone. He also seemed to always have a bottle of some kind of liquor in his hands. I told my daughter I wanted her to break up with him. I told her she’d only wind up hurt in the end. Then she told me they were getting married. I warned her that if she did, she wouldn’t receive one dime from me. I’d cut her off completely and she’d never be welcome in my family again. Well, I’m sure you can guess which path she chose. I’m so sorry Brian.”

“For what?”

“For never checking to see if you or your sister were alright. I’m sorry I let this happen to you.”

“You didn’t know. It’s not your fault,” the boy said, seeming more tired and wise than his should have allowed.

“Still…I feel responsible.”

“Is that why you’re here now?”

“I’m here because child services tracked me down. You’re being removed from your home. The injuries you suffered…the doctor didn’t believe whatever story your mother told her. She knew the signs. Child services investigated and found that he’s been hurting you for a long time. Your sister seemed to be fine though.”

“Claire’s his princess. He loves her. It’s me he hates. He never wanted me…says I’m worthless…unlovable.”

Brianna gasped in shock then let out a string of curses that would make even a sailor blush. All her words directed at the one and only Jack Kinney. When she was done, she gently took hold of her grandson’s hand. “Brian, I want you to listen to me very carefully. You are not worthless and you are certainly not unlovable. Those are traits your father possesses, not you. You are smart and strong and I love you very much child. There is nothing you could ever do to change that. You will always be my grandson and I will always love you.”

Brian stared dumbfounded at his grandmother. He had no idea what to make of the sweet woman saying the words he’d always longed to hear.

“Hey,” Justin said quietly, breaking the older man from his thoughts.

“I missed you,” Brian whispered. He honestly didn’t even realize he’d said it out loud until Justin raised his head, his brows knitted together. “How could you miss me? I’ve been with you for months,” the blond said, confusion coloring his tone.

“Not really. You’ve been there physically, but you haven’t been with me in a long time. I can’t remember the last time you just lied in bed like this, your head on my chest, your fingers drawing random patterns, waiting for me to wake up. Ever since-for the past few months, you’re either up and gone by the time I wake up or you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed. I know I haven’t been the best…”

“Lover, partner, boyfriend,” the blond supplied.

“Partner. I haven’t been the best partner lately. I’ve been trying to push you away and hold onto you at the same time. Ever since that night, I’ve been afraid to let you in again. Not that I let you in the first time, but you found your own way back then. I’ve just wanted-I-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Justin said, giving Brian an out, since he was having such a hard time trying to find the right words. “We don’t have to talk about this right now. Let’s just shower, get dressed, and get some breakfast.”

“Alright,” the older man acquiesced. “I do want you to know though-I promise to do better. I promise to stop listening to everyone else who thinks they know what’s best for us. No one knows what’s best for us except us. And probably Mámó,” he said with a smile. Justin just laughed and nodded, promising the same thing. The two kissed to seal their promise and got out of bed, ready to face the first day of the rest of their lives. It was time to stop living in the past, living in fear, and greet whatever the future held in store for them. As long as they had each other, the lovers knew they could survive anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the two showered, doing nothing more than actual showering and some kissing, they headed down to the kitchen for breakfast. Brianna was sitting at the round, dark wooden table reading a book and looked up when her guests entered. “Good morning boys. You both look to be in good spirits. I trust you slept well.”

“Better than I have in months,” Brian said as he gave his grandmother a kiss. “Where’s Tommy?”

“He left early to meet Bethany before work. She had some new ideas for the wedding she wanted to discuss with him.”

“But that’s not for another six months yet.”

“I know you don’t like to discuss it dear, but lots of women plan for their wedding all their lives. Bethany is a smart young woman and she knows your cousin’s tastes. I’m sure whatever she decides on will be lovely. Now, how bout I fix you boys some breakfast?”

“We don’t want to be any trouble,” Justin said politely. Brianna scoffed and waived her hand. “Your family. Of course it’s not any trouble. Would you like the usual Mickey?”

“The usual would be lovely,” he replied with a smile. “I have a phone call to make though so excuse me. Mámó, be nice.”

“My dear, I have no idea what you mean,” she said, the trademark Brian Kinney smirk on her face. So that’s where he got it from Justin thought to himself as he watched his lover leave the room.

“So how are you doing this morning Justin?” Brianna asked as she began gathering the eggs and flour and milk she would need to cook.

“I’m alright. Thank you for welcoming me into your home. I never thought I’d see Brian so at peace, but being here is good for him. I can see how much you love each other. I’m glad he has you.”

“And I’m glad he has you so I guess that makes us even,” she replied, smirking once again. “Mickey has always found solace here. I’m sure without the distractions of the people in Pittsburgh you’ll be able to find your way back to each other. And I will do everything I can to help. My Mickey loves you very much Justin.”

“I used to believe that. I remember he was driving me to school one day and we were talking about my SAT scores. I named some schools I was going to apply to that were all out of state and he was worried that I was going to go away. I teased him about being in love with me. And the way Daphne explained what happened at the prom…I know he loves me. I know that in my head, but in my heart I’ve just been so insecure and I have lost my ability to read him. I think that’s the main cause of our problems. So sometimes I just find it really hard to believe that he cares, especially when he never says it.”

“Mickey has always had a hard time talking, but he shows you in his actions. He holds you when you’re scared, he massages your hand when it cramps, he bought you that design computer to help you produce art easier so your hand doesn’t have to take so much stress…he took revenge on that horrible man who gave you that bruise and shit. You weren’t supposed to know that.”

“Took revenge? What do you mean? What did he do?”

“Maybe it would be better if you asked him yourself.”

“Please, you know he’ll never tell me. What did he do?”

“Oh alright. He and his secretary Cynthia dug into the boy’s past and found a few things. The first is that his real name is Ethan Goldstein. His parents are very wealthy socialites in Chicago. The second thing is that he was rejected by PIFA. Mickey talked to the man who changed the application from a rejected to accepted and discovered that the only reason his status was changed was because Ethan slept with the man. Now we both know how my Mickey can be and he forced the man into confessing that not only did Ethan force his way into the school, but he was registered illegally under a falsified name. So naturally Ethan was kicked out of school. Then an email was sent to Jacob Goldstein saying that his son, his heir, has been living in a despicable apartment, getting his furniture by taking it from the garbage, as well as playing on street corners for money. There was a video attached of his son doing just that and looking rather unclean. Well, you can imagine the man’s anger. Last I heard he banished Ethan to his estate in Spain.”

“Holy shit,” Justin whispered. “Brian did all that?”

“He hurt you. He deserved to be punished. At least that’s the way Mickey felt.”

Justin sat there for a few minutes staring blankly at the table while trying to absorb everything he was just told. He couldn’t believe that Brian had done all that, just for him. I’d hate to ever be his enemy the blond thought to himself.

“Justin?” Brianna called, breaking into his thoughts. “Breakfast is almost ready. Why don’t you see if you can drag Mickey away from the phone?”

“Sure,” he replied as he stood. When he got to the doorway, he turned back. “Hey, why do you call Brian Mickey?”

A giant smile lit up Brianna’s face. “It stands for mo mhic, mo ghrá, mo chroí: my son, my love, my heart.”

A/N: Pronunciations: mhic=mick, ghrá=grah, and chroí=cree

queer as folk, brian/justin

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