iv.
My name is Spades Slick, and I am secretly a pretty ballerina who loves puppies and kittens. I sew daisies on to pillow covers and love to play games for girls! I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I just decided to shout all my stupid fucking secrets into the phone for no reason. Also I'm a communist, even though I don't know what that is, so clearly I'm a goddamn moron.
Just kidding I'm not actually any of those things, except that my name really is Spades Slick. That was me doing an impression of what you all sound like. Nobody gives a shit about your stupid little baby secrets or whatever dumb shit you did back in whatever backwater gin joint you call "home". Fuckin' get over yourselves.
Oh wait hang on, I actually do have a truth to throw out there. Whoever drank all the hooch I had stashed away in this house, especially if it was one of you grey kid sack of shits, is going to get stabbed in the face a hundred times. Fess up now and I'll just make it an even fifty. This is me being nice, take a picture because it's probably never gonna happen again.
Just kidding I'm not actually any of those things, except that my name really is Spades Slick. That was me doing an impression of what you all sound like. Nobody gives a shit about your stupid little baby secrets or whatever dumb shit you did back in whatever backwater gin joint you call "home". Fuckin' get over yourselves.
Oh wait hang on, I actually do have a truth to throw out there. Whoever drank all the hooch I had stashed away in this house, especially if it was one of you grey kid sack of shits, is going to get stabbed in the face a hundred times. Fess up now and I'll just make it an even fifty. This is me being nice, take a picture because it's probably never gonna happen again.