Dinner was a sober gathering that night. The family plus Glitch and Raw usually ate in a small dining room near the kitchen. It was homier, and DG hated formal dining. This night, all anyone could seem to do was try to avoid looking at the empty chair to DG’s right.
Ahamo was watching his daughter while trying not to be too obvious about it. “So,” he began, after a long interlude of silence broken only by the sound of utensils on plates, “Miryam found the girl who took the photo?”
DG nodded. She’d yet to take a bite. “Just a chambermaid who had no idea that what she did was so harmful.” She shook her head. “You know, Cain survived the Resistance. He survived eight years in a tin suit and somehow didn’t go insane. He was shot twice helping me save my sister. He survived an attempt on his own life, and three months later he took a bullet that was meant for me.” She sighed. “Now, to think that we could lose him because some chambermaid needed extra cash…”
Everyone was silent. No one was eating.
“You seem angry, DG,” Ahamo said.
“I am angry, Dad. I’m angry at him for going off on this mission, I’m angry at myself for letting him, I’m angry at Jeb for getting himself captured, I’m angry at the Longcoats for doing the capturing and I’m angry at the world just for existing.”
Ambrose nodded. “I guess that covers everybody, then.”
DG snorted bitter laughter. “Yeah, everybody.” She tossed down her fork. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed,” she announced. She got up and walked out.
The rest of the family just looked around at each other for a moment. Finally, Azkadellia sighed. “I’ll go,” she said, and started to rise.
To everyone’s surprise, Raw stopped her. “No. Raw go.” He followed DG out, leaving three surprised people in his wake.
She knew it was Raw before he even reached her bedroom door. She might have expected it. He sometimes came to her when she was particularly upset, but only if she was alone. His emotional peace had often soothed her. She made her heart welcoming, so he would know to come right in.
He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand, his eyes closing. “DG scared.”
“Yeah, DG’s scared, all right.”
“Scared for Cain.”
All she could do was nod.
“Raw will try to sense Cain.”
She frowned. “How can you do that? He’s far away.”
He met her eyes. “DG and Cain…” He went quiet, searching for the right words. “Hearts are connected. Can sense Cain with this,” he said, putting two fingers over her heart.
Our hearts are connected. I guess that says it all, doesn’t it? She nodded. He held both her hands and bowed his head down. DG watched him, as always fascinated by this process. Raw became so still when he was Viewing, it was like all motion was taken from him, even breeze through his hair or the pulse of blood through his veins.
She felt something in her chest. A vague swelling, like the bubble of joy on a glad occasion or the lump of sadness that came with a broken heart. This felt…content, and peaceful, and happy.
It was Cain. This was how she felt when she was with Cain. “Raw, I think I feel him.”
He didn’t acknowledge her, but the feeling grew until she could have sworn Cain was right there, with a hand on her shoulder, smiling at her.
“Cain…safe,” Raw finally said. “Happy. Relieved.”
“Oh, has he found Jeb?” DG asked. If he’s found Jeb, he can come home.
“Cain is with boy. But now, boy is safe, and…Cain thinking of DG.” DG didn’t dare breathe lest she disturb Raw’s sight. “Wants now to come home. Impatient.” There was a long pause, then Raw released her hands and met her eyes. “Cain safe. Coming home soon, Raw think.” He touched her cheek. “Cain miss DG. Wants to be home with DG again.”
She nodded. “Okay,” she choked out, tears clogging her throat and nose. “Good. That’s good.” Relief that he hadn’t been hurt or killed was making her a little flaky. “Thanks, Raw.”
“DG can sleep now?”
It was much earlier than she would ordinarily have gone to bed, but she’d hardly slept the night before and her whole body seemed to be sinking into the bed. “Yeah. I think I can sleep now.”
He patted her hand and left the room. DG turned over and burrowed into her own bedclothes. She considered going to Cain’s room again, but that would entail getting up and bare feet on cold floors and she was just so comfortable.
Besides, tomorrow night he’ll be here. And if I have my way that bedroom of his isn’t going to be slept in for a long time.
Cain’s small group made it to the scout basecamp before dark, which was a miracle given that they had to walk almost ten clicks through dense forests. They’d sent a man ahead so they wouldn’t have to fear being shot when they walked out of the woods.
The scout squad leader, Lt. Vincennes, met them at the gate. “This is a surprise, we weren’t expecting…” His eyes widened as he saw Cain. “General Cain!” he said, his voice going shrill with surprise. “I mean…Your Highness,” he amended, bowing.
“As you were,” Cain said, saluting. “It’s just General, Lieutenant.”
“But…I…wha…what are you doing here?” Vincennes seemed utterly gobsmacked to be suddenly confronted by the Consort on his doorstep. Maybe I ought to have warned them, Cain thought. It was strange that people might need to be warned before meeting him.
“I’ve come to…”
“Oh! You’ve come looking for your son!”
Cain blinked. “Yes. How do you know…”
“He’s here!”
Now it was Cain’s turn to splutter incoherently. “He’s here?”
“Yes!” Vincennes exclaimed. “He and his squad got away from the Longcoats, we picked them up on a routine border patrol this afternoon!”
Lt. Andrews stepped forward. “They got away? All of them?” He and Cain exchanged a glance. The odds of an entire squad of captured soldiers all escaping at once was so low as to be a practical impossibility.
“I know, it sounds crazy, but wait till you hear the story,” Vincennes said, motioning for them to follow. He headed back into camp and led them to the largest hut, which seemed to be the mess hall and briefing room. Cain’s eyes swept the faces of the men, but before he saw Jeb he was hearing his voice.
“Dad!” Jeb jumped up from the far side of the room. Cain’s knees went a little wobbly with relief at the sight of him, and then Jeb was around the side and striding up to him. Cain hugged him with unabashed enthusiasm, past caring if such a display was manly or not. Jeb hugged back, then pulled away to gape at him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I came to find you, of course! Looks like I could have spared myself the trouble, if you’re just going to go around rescuing yourself!”
“But…what happened to you guys? Why are you here if you didn’t know I was here?”
“We were ambushed on the Southern Pass. Somehow the Longcoats over the border got wind that I was coming south and figured I was coming for you. We got a dispatch warning us, but it didn’t get there in time. I have no idea how they found out.”
Jeb sighed. “I think I can help you with that.” He leaned over a table and picked up a newspaper.
Cain took it, his mouth falling open. The entire front page was a picture of himself kissing DG on the portico just before he left. “Great lakes,” he muttered.
“They say you’re leaving on an ‘unknown military engagement.’”
He nodded. “Yeah, that’d do it.”
“Dad, I hate to poke my nose in, but…you could be a little more discreet.”
“I thought we were,” Cain said. “I have no idea who took this. Must have been taken out a window or something, there was no one on the portico except us, the family and my two officers.” He glanced up at Jeb, who was looking a little…fidgety. Well, hell. It can’t be too much fun to have the entire squad looking at a giant picture of your dad and the Queen kissing like it’s going out of style. “I’m sorry about this, Jeb. I’m sure it makes you…uncomfortable.”
Jeb took the paper back. “It’s fine. But I’m fine, we’re all fine, you should head back to Central City.”
Cain led him to an empty table nearby and sat him down. “Not until you tell me how you and your squad escaped.”
Jeb grinned. “It was pretty sweet, I don’t mind saying. They had us all in one room, which was their first bonehead mistake. They were going on and on about how they were going to torture us and blah blah blah but they hadn’t gotten around to it yet. So a bunch of them left on some kind of patrol, leaving only a few guards. One of the guys managed to convince our guard that he was really a Longcoat working undercover in our squad and that he had to be taken to the man in charge right away. I can’t believe the guy fell for it. So he opened the door, and we were ready. We rushed the guy and got out.”
Cain was still dubious, but he wasn’t going to say so right this second. “That was fast thinking.”
“Well, it’s not like I had a choice.” He was watching Cain’s face. “You didn’t have to come out here, Dad.”
“Yes, I did.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“No question. But I wasn’t there for you for eight years, and…”
Jeb ran a hand through his hair. “How long are you going to try and atone for something that wasn’t even your fault? You were betrayed, you were imprisoned, I don’t blame you for any of it.”
“Not even for getting into the Resistance in the first place?”
“No, of course not! You did what had to be done, you were a hero! You know how much that inspired me when I was coming into the Resistance myself? I thought you’d given your life for that cause! I was proud!”
“That doesn’t change the fact that for me, myself, I didn’t look out for you like a father expects to, and I’m damn well going to do it now.”
Jeb nodded. “The Queen can’t have been happy about it.”
Cain chuckled. “It’s okay for you to call her by her name, you know.”
“Uh, no thanks.”
“But no, she wasn’t in favor of it.”
“She could have ordered you not to leave.”
“Could have. She wouldn’t do that to me, though.”
Jeb glanced down at the newspaper again, sitting nearby with the picture facing up. He looked at it for a few long seconds. “You love her, don’t you?” he said, quietly.
Cain sighed, his own eyes drawn like magnets to the image. “I don’t know, son. It’s complicated. She’s my friend, we’ve been through a lot. I’ll have to…you know, think about it…” He trailed off, the thought petering out into nothingness.
Look at yourself with her. Have you been that free with anyone since Adora died? Or even with Adora? Look at how you’re holding her, look at your face. You’re abandoned to it, to her. And it felt so real, so true through to your bones, that how you’d been with her for years felt like a paper-thin mask.
To hell with it.
He met Jeb’s eyes. “Yes. I love her. I don’t have to think about it and it’s not complicated. I don’t know why I thought it had to be.” Jeb nodded. “I married her as a favor. I thought we’d be like we’d always been. Friends, family. Somehow in the middle of trying to be her friend, I fell in love with her.”
“And vice versa?”
“That, I don’t know for sure.”
“I do.” Jeb grabbed the paper and held it up. “You don’t kiss someone like this unless you mean it, Dad.”
Cain flushed. “I guess you’re right.” He scanned Jeb’s face for signs of anger, or resentment, but saw only blankness. “I’m sorry, son. This can’t be easy for you.”
Jeb put the paper down, crossing his arms on the tabletop. “I’ll give it to you straight, okay?” Cain nodded. “I wish you had never gone into that suit, and you and Mom stayed married forever. I can’t have that, so part of me wants you to just pine for her forever, never being with anybody else, never wanting anyone else, never feeling for anyone else what you felt for Mom.” He reached out and put his hand on Cain’s arm. “Don’t look so distraught, Dad. I said part of me wants that, and it’s that selfish little-boy part that wants it. The rest of me knows that’s not fair to you, and not realistic. The rest of me wants you to be happy, and knows that Mom wouldn’t want you to waste away grieving for her any more than I do. The grown-up part of me, that is.”
Cain smiled. “It’s hard for me to think of any part of you as grown up, no matter how big you get…or how smart.” He stared down at his wedding ring, the one DG had put on his finger, seeing the ghost of its predecessor there. “For what it’s worth, I planned to pine for her forever. I never wanted to find anyone new, or love anyone else. I guess I didn’t have a say.”
“DG can be real stubborn that way.”
He chuckled. “Yes, she can.” He looked into Jeb’s face again. “But you ought to know that I don’t feel for DG what I felt for your mom. I don’t love her less, or more. Just different. Your mom and I grew up together. We were so young when we got married. Full of grand plans and dreams. And being in that tin suit for so long turned it perfect in my head. I forgot all the troubles we had, the fights, the struggles, and I just remembered the good things. No real-world love could ever measure up. It made me fight what I felt for DG for a long time. It’s so clear now, but I really…” He felt himself choking up, incredibly. He swallowed hard. “I really never thought I’d be so lucky to have it twice.”
“You deserve it,” Jeb said, quietly.
“It means a lot to me that you’re okay with it.”
“I’m…” Jeb hesitated. “I’m happy for you, Dad.”
Cain smiled. “Thank you.” He took a deep breath. “So I hope that means you’ll understand now that I just want to get back to her, so let’s go.” He got up.
Jeb frowned. “What do you mean? I’m not going to Central City.”
“The hell you’re not.”
“Dad, I have to get my squad back to our basecamp, and write reports on all this intelligence for the Central Command, and…”
“I didn’t come all the way out here to find you just to leave you here!”
“I’ve been out here for months! Why should I leave now just because I’ve seen some action?”
Cain was opening his mouth to retort when he stopped himself. He’s right. What, did you think he was going to peacefully let you reassign him to some safe location where he’d be bored silly? He’s your son, after all.
But goddamn, I don’t want to leave him here.
He’s an adult. You can’t control him. If you try, you will drive him away. Is that what you want?
He rubbed his forehead. “All right, son. I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s your choice. I sure wish you’d at least come back with me, just for a few days. I get to see you so seldom.”
Jeb got up, smirking. “Nice offer, Dad, but you’re not fooling me. I’m not the one you want to be spending time with right now.” Cain blushed, but couldn’t exactly deny it. “How about I come up to the City in a month or so? Stay a few days?”
“That’d be great. We could all go out to Finaqua. Do some fishing.”
Jeb nodded. “But you shouldn’t leave right now. It’s dark. Wait until morning.”
Cain considered this. He’s right, you should wait for first light. It’s stupid to set out in the dark.
If I go too much longer without seeing her I might explode.
You’ll live. Let her get a good night’s sleep. She’ll need it, since you don’t plan on letting her sleep much for the next few days.
He blushed again at his own thoughts. “All right. We’ll bunk up here for the night and leave at first light.”
Jeb clapped him on the shoulder. “Good. Now, I ought to get back to my men, but we can talk after that, okay?”
Cain nodded. “I’ll brief my men on the plan.”
“Okay. Why don’t you write a note to that young, beautiful trophy wife of yours?” he said, dropping a wink.
Cain laughed. “She’s the Queen. If anything, I’m the trophy husband.” Jeb grinned and headed back to where his men were gathered. Cain left the tent and found Vincennes with Lt. Andrews, Danny and Damien.
“All okay?” Danny asked.
Cain nodded. “Did he fill you in on how they escaped?”
They nodded. “I still don’t buy it,” Andrews said. “The Longcoats made like four or five tactical errors in a row for that escape to have worked. I can buy one or two, but not that many.”
Cain crossed his arms. “The only reasonable explanation is that they were allowed to escape.”
“I agree. It’s a troubling thought.”
“Sure,” Vincennes said, bitterness lacing his voice. “They must have been let go, because scouts aren’t smart enough to manage their own escape, right?”
“No one’s saying that,” Cain said, holding up a hand. “It’s just suspicious that they could all get away in the way they described without the Longcoats letting it happen.”
“Why would they do that?” Vincennes demanded.
“Only one reason,” Damien said, looking grim.
Cain nodded. “To track them.” The men exchanged alarmed glances, then turned and ran back into the tent. “Jeb!”
“Yeah?”
“We’re thinking the Longcoats might be tracking you. Did they take any of your clothes while they had you there?”
“They took all of our jackets, but they…” He trailed off, his face going slack with realization. “But they gave them back with the weapons removed.”
Cain took a deep breath. “Come on. We’ve got to check every one. Starting with yours.” Jeb’s men took off their coats and began going over them. Cain and Jeb held Jeb’s coat between them, their fingers exploring the seams, pockets and corners.
Cain’s hopes that he was just being paranoid were dashed when his fingers found a flat bump in the seam of the jacket’s lower hem. He met Jeb’s eyes, then whipped out his pocketknife and tore the seam open. He withdrew the transmitter, small and lethal.
The thought passed between them, but before Cain could do so much as open his mouth to call for an evacuation, all hell broke loose.