"Thought I needed this." for un_love_you
Mab felt it build up in her slowly at first, then with painful speed, the need that started eating at her. Two days they had only touched softly, comfort at times, fighting at others. But never the release that she freely admitted was her addiction. Sunday was exhaustion, fear and pain, holding him and keeping him alive. Two days when her libido gave her some respite, letting the hurts settle and tenderness reign. Wednesday and things woke up, the flirtatious teasing that was more instinctive reaction than thought cutting her for once. Not willing or able to admit she was abstaining at the moment. But this was the seventh day of no intimate contact, no release, not even on her own, left her with a craving to be touched began to hurt physically.
“I have to go pick up some new vitamins at the Goblin Market. Be back in about a half hour.”
“Hmmm? Oh, alright. See you when you get back.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too, Mab.”
She was ashamed of herself, of her need in the midst of his suffering. There was no way not to understand why he wasn’t think like this. It was her sickness. Depression was supposed to reduce sex drive. Why couldn’t she be normal in that one thing? But at least in leaving he wouldn’t see her fail like this. To not make him feel guilty that he wasn’t up to providing for this one need in her as of yet. He’d not need to know that she wasn’t strong enough to wait until he was able to. Better her take her shame away from here. Somewhere quiet, disconnected from things.
The Tokoyo apartment was the choice of the moment. No chance of it being used. Private and safe. Almost made her wish more of her life was like that. No time for it, no time for anything but what she needed to do. So, straight the bedroom, to the feel of her own skin against skin, falling into the sensations, mind collecting it’s fantasy. There was no mental orgy to make Caligula blush. No strange men or women doing impossible things. Just a simple one. One she was almost more ashamed of. Bobby turning to her and needing her as much as she needed him. Depression falling aside for a short time, the pain being forgotten just to join together physically, action of reassurance and love to help carry them through the rest. A moment of mutual release that was echoed by a shadow of the strength in the fantasy, alone in an otherwise unused bed in an entirely too empty apartment.
She resettled her clothing, cleaned up in the mirror that she didn’t want to meet her own eyes in. Stopped in a shop and picked up the vitamins. Was back in less than thirty minutes, putting the vitamins in the bathroom vanity. Then she found Bobby reading in a chair in the living room. Gently moving the book to the side, she curled up in his lap, kissing his cheek.
“Well, aren’t you suddenly the cuddly kitten,” the look in his eyes was as complex as the one in her heart.
“Just wanted to be close to you.”
He kissed her forehead and held her close, miles apart and yet right there together.
“I have to go pick up some new vitamins at the Goblin Market. Be back in about a half hour.”
“Hmmm? Oh, alright. See you when you get back.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too, Mab.”
She was ashamed of herself, of her need in the midst of his suffering. There was no way not to understand why he wasn’t think like this. It was her sickness. Depression was supposed to reduce sex drive. Why couldn’t she be normal in that one thing? But at least in leaving he wouldn’t see her fail like this. To not make him feel guilty that he wasn’t up to providing for this one need in her as of yet. He’d not need to know that she wasn’t strong enough to wait until he was able to. Better her take her shame away from here. Somewhere quiet, disconnected from things.
The Tokoyo apartment was the choice of the moment. No chance of it being used. Private and safe. Almost made her wish more of her life was like that. No time for it, no time for anything but what she needed to do. So, straight the bedroom, to the feel of her own skin against skin, falling into the sensations, mind collecting it’s fantasy. There was no mental orgy to make Caligula blush. No strange men or women doing impossible things. Just a simple one. One she was almost more ashamed of. Bobby turning to her and needing her as much as she needed him. Depression falling aside for a short time, the pain being forgotten just to join together physically, action of reassurance and love to help carry them through the rest. A moment of mutual release that was echoed by a shadow of the strength in the fantasy, alone in an otherwise unused bed in an entirely too empty apartment.
She resettled her clothing, cleaned up in the mirror that she didn’t want to meet her own eyes in. Stopped in a shop and picked up the vitamins. Was back in less than thirty minutes, putting the vitamins in the bathroom vanity. Then she found Bobby reading in a chair in the living room. Gently moving the book to the side, she curled up in his lap, kissing his cheek.
“Well, aren’t you suddenly the cuddly kitten,” the look in his eyes was as complex as the one in her heart.
“Just wanted to be close to you.”
He kissed her forehead and held her close, miles apart and yet right there together.