Spilt Milk - Uruha/Ruki - Oneshot
Title: Spilt Milk
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: maazuki_kei
Genre: Crack
Warning(s): Male on Male, cussing
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Uruha/Ruki
Band(s): the GazettE
Synopsis: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ll be damned if either of you get a black eye.” He exchanged glances with both of them and pushed Ruki back onto his chair. “What the hell is this about anyway?”
Disclaimer: Ah, I don’t own these beautiful men. If I did, I highly doubt I would be writing this entirely fictional piece of writing.
Comments: I asked my friend to give me 20 prompts. By the time I'm done, I should have used every GazettE pairing. :3
09) Brat
“You’re such a bitch! A total shiny plastic bitch!”
Aoi’s eyebrows rose.
“Well, at least I’m not someone’s bitch like you are!”
A snort sounded from Reita’s direction.
Ruki scoffed. “You should be. What kind fucker sleeps with a stuffed kitty from when they were little?”
Uruha’s jaw dropped. “You say one bad thing about Mr. Snoogies and I’ll go cut your precious Quackers.”
Kai sighed quietly. Now the innocent stuffed kitty and rubber ducky were getting involved in their childish quarrel. How did he ever get stuck in a band with this?
“You touch my duck and your ass gets it,” he growled, glaring at the smirking blonde.
The guitarist leaned closer to the blonde sitting opposite of him with his elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. “I believe, my dear Ruki, that your ass will get it if I touch your duck. After all, you are the bitch.”
Ruki wanted to bash that grin with a baseball bat. He huffed as Kai quickly grabbed his drumsticks and placed them safely in his lap. Damn drummer must have seen what he was planning...
Seeing Ruki pop out of his seat made Reita stand with his arms out between the two.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ll be damned if either of you get a black eye.” He exchanged glances with both of them and pushed Ruki back onto his chair. “What the hell is this about anyway?”
Ruki and Uruha glared at each other. Both puffed their bottom lips out.
“It was his fault!” Ruki shouted.
“You’re the one who told me to get up!” Uruha countered.
“You should have said no!”
“You shouldn’t get a craving for milk after sex! What kind of weirdo wants milk after having sex? Aoi, do you go get a glass of milk after having sex?”
The other guitarist averted his eyes as everyone turned to look at him. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
“Actually, I do sometimes...”
Uruha leaned back in his seat while Ruki laughed. “Ha! I’m not a freak!”
The blonde guitarist groaned. “That’s not the point! You shouldn’t have made me get it the milk out in the middle of the night when you know I’m dead tired!”
“Aoi, you really like milk after having your ass humped?” Reita asked. He looked at him curiously.
“I am not on bottom. Ever.”
Kai could see Aoi’s eyes flicker as his fists tightened. First Ruki and Uruha and now Aoi and Reita. He could see it now:
Super Awesome JRock Band Killed in All-Out Brawl Amongst Themselves!
Yep, that was going to be their headline.
“Okay, everyone sit and shut the hell up!” He shouted.
Voices stopped and all eyes turned toward him. Reita shoved Ruki over and took over half the chair.
“Uruha!” The blonde snapped to attention. “What the hell is this even about for the second time?”
Uruha calmly folded his hands in his lap. “He”-a finger was pointed at Ruki-“made me get up in the middle of the night and get him milk!”
Kai rolled his eyes. “Uruha, get to what he’s mad about before I tear you a new one.”
He gulped. “He’s freaking out because I left the milk out.”
“Again!” Ruki added.
Kai sent Ruki a look. A look that made him immediately shut his mouth.
“So the milk is no good now, correct?” he asked.
Uruha nodded. “So now he’s all ‘blah, blah, blah,’ because he couldn’t have chocolate milk this morning.”
Oh my God! was Kai’s exact thought. Something had to be done to stop this madness. Never once in his life had he seen a fight this bad get started over spoiled milk.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, here’s what you guys are going to do before I lose my last thread of sanity.” He grasped their shoulders and motioned for them to stand. “You guys are going to hug, kiss, whatever the hell it is you guys do, and make-up. And if you don’t, let’s just say the next headline will want to know where the GazettE’s singer and guitarist are.” He smiled at them. “Same goes for you two, too,” he said quickly to Aoi and Reita.
The blondes looked at each other, still fuming over what had been said. Reluctantly, they both wrapped their arms around each other. Once the first few awkward seconds were over with, their grasp tightened.
“I’m sorry,” Ruki said first.
Uruha kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Same here.”
Seeing that those two were getting over their little spaz-fest, Kai continued to stare at Aoi and Reita. “Well?”
They shifted on their feet and settled for murmuring sorry while patting each other on the shoulder.
With everyone on good terms, or at least faking it, Kai smiled warmly at everyone.
“Okay, practice is tomorrow, so be here early!”
As the others left, Kai stuck around to clean some things up. As he picked up a sticker packet from under the table, he got to wondering. Out of all the people in the world, how and why did he get stuck with the two blondest and biggest brats? He definitely had a challenge. He just hoped the other two wouldn’t pick up their ways.
~~
A/N *sighs and crawls into a corner*
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: maazuki_kei
Genre: Crack
Warning(s): Male on Male, cussing
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Uruha/Ruki
Band(s): the GazettE
Synopsis: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ll be damned if either of you get a black eye.” He exchanged glances with both of them and pushed Ruki back onto his chair. “What the hell is this about anyway?”
Disclaimer: Ah, I don’t own these beautiful men. If I did, I highly doubt I would be writing this entirely fictional piece of writing.
Comments: I asked my friend to give me 20 prompts. By the time I'm done, I should have used every GazettE pairing. :3
09) Brat
“You’re such a bitch! A total shiny plastic bitch!”
Aoi’s eyebrows rose.
“Well, at least I’m not someone’s bitch like you are!”
A snort sounded from Reita’s direction.
Ruki scoffed. “You should be. What kind fucker sleeps with a stuffed kitty from when they were little?”
Uruha’s jaw dropped. “You say one bad thing about Mr. Snoogies and I’ll go cut your precious Quackers.”
Kai sighed quietly. Now the innocent stuffed kitty and rubber ducky were getting involved in their childish quarrel. How did he ever get stuck in a band with this?
“You touch my duck and your ass gets it,” he growled, glaring at the smirking blonde.
The guitarist leaned closer to the blonde sitting opposite of him with his elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. “I believe, my dear Ruki, that your ass will get it if I touch your duck. After all, you are the bitch.”
Ruki wanted to bash that grin with a baseball bat. He huffed as Kai quickly grabbed his drumsticks and placed them safely in his lap. Damn drummer must have seen what he was planning...
Seeing Ruki pop out of his seat made Reita stand with his arms out between the two.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’ll be damned if either of you get a black eye.” He exchanged glances with both of them and pushed Ruki back onto his chair. “What the hell is this about anyway?”
Ruki and Uruha glared at each other. Both puffed their bottom lips out.
“It was his fault!” Ruki shouted.
“You’re the one who told me to get up!” Uruha countered.
“You should have said no!”
“You shouldn’t get a craving for milk after sex! What kind of weirdo wants milk after having sex? Aoi, do you go get a glass of milk after having sex?”
The other guitarist averted his eyes as everyone turned to look at him. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
“Actually, I do sometimes...”
Uruha leaned back in his seat while Ruki laughed. “Ha! I’m not a freak!”
The blonde guitarist groaned. “That’s not the point! You shouldn’t have made me get it the milk out in the middle of the night when you know I’m dead tired!”
“Aoi, you really like milk after having your ass humped?” Reita asked. He looked at him curiously.
“I am not on bottom. Ever.”
Kai could see Aoi’s eyes flicker as his fists tightened. First Ruki and Uruha and now Aoi and Reita. He could see it now:
Super Awesome JRock Band Killed in All-Out Brawl Amongst Themselves!
Yep, that was going to be their headline.
“Okay, everyone sit and shut the hell up!” He shouted.
Voices stopped and all eyes turned toward him. Reita shoved Ruki over and took over half the chair.
“Uruha!” The blonde snapped to attention. “What the hell is this even about for the second time?”
Uruha calmly folded his hands in his lap. “He”-a finger was pointed at Ruki-“made me get up in the middle of the night and get him milk!”
Kai rolled his eyes. “Uruha, get to what he’s mad about before I tear you a new one.”
He gulped. “He’s freaking out because I left the milk out.”
“Again!” Ruki added.
Kai sent Ruki a look. A look that made him immediately shut his mouth.
“So the milk is no good now, correct?” he asked.
Uruha nodded. “So now he’s all ‘blah, blah, blah,’ because he couldn’t have chocolate milk this morning.”
Oh my God! was Kai’s exact thought. Something had to be done to stop this madness. Never once in his life had he seen a fight this bad get started over spoiled milk.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, here’s what you guys are going to do before I lose my last thread of sanity.” He grasped their shoulders and motioned for them to stand. “You guys are going to hug, kiss, whatever the hell it is you guys do, and make-up. And if you don’t, let’s just say the next headline will want to know where the GazettE’s singer and guitarist are.” He smiled at them. “Same goes for you two, too,” he said quickly to Aoi and Reita.
The blondes looked at each other, still fuming over what had been said. Reluctantly, they both wrapped their arms around each other. Once the first few awkward seconds were over with, their grasp tightened.
“I’m sorry,” Ruki said first.
Uruha kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Same here.”
Seeing that those two were getting over their little spaz-fest, Kai continued to stare at Aoi and Reita. “Well?”
They shifted on their feet and settled for murmuring sorry while patting each other on the shoulder.
With everyone on good terms, or at least faking it, Kai smiled warmly at everyone.
“Okay, practice is tomorrow, so be here early!”
As the others left, Kai stuck around to clean some things up. As he picked up a sticker packet from under the table, he got to wondering. Out of all the people in the world, how and why did he get stuck with the two blondest and biggest brats? He definitely had a challenge. He just hoped the other two wouldn’t pick up their ways.
~~
A/N *sighs and crawls into a corner*