If you are like me, you have no doubt noticed a disturbing similarity between this image, taken from the front page of
www.unagi.co.jp and the Goa'uld (courtesy of the Stargate: SG-1 TV series), pictured below.
My keen analytic mind informs me that there must be a connection. In particular, this means the Goa'uld know how to manufacture unagi. Logically, then, if I wish to learn to make unagi, I need to run with the Goa'uld. Impossible, you say? Not so, I say! Consider the key distinguishing features of a Goa'uld:
- glowing eyes
- deep voice
- stereotyped behavior
Consider the glowing eyes, as shown here below.
That's trivial for me. See?
Deep voice? I can do that. I've got an impressive control over my own voice. Stereotyped behavior? It's easy to do. I'm a talented actor. Basically, I should have no problem physically passing for a Goa'uld. Unfortunately, that probably won't be enough. There are plenty of no-name Goa'uld out there, and I doubt most of them know how to make unagi. Yes, this means I'll have to set myself up as a System Lord. Season 9 of SG-1 significantly lowered the bar on this, but it's not like being a professional movie critic. I can't just make a paper hat with "System Lord" written on it and call myself a System Lord. I'll need a few things. Here's my current list, which may be updated later.
- an army of loyal Jaffa
- fancy hardware
- Stargate access
- a good icon for all of this, which is in the works (Edit: done)
I will be recruiting Jaffa in the near future, but don't kree yourselves into a frenzy just yet. I've got one volunteer already (
siderealengine), but we're still working on the details. I'll post more on those as my research progresses