Comments | lyssabard: The Overnight Walk and The Morning After

lyssabard

The Overnight Walk and The Morning After

Jun 05, 2013 13:44

My life's been a mix of late of doing spiritual practice work, online and in workshop with T. Thorn Coyle, working on yarn and jewelry, despairing and planning to send out my resume once again, the birth of my sister's first child, and overshadowing the whole thing: preparing for the Out of the Darkness Overnight walk ( Read more... )

Comments 32

teaotter June 5 2013, 19:15:46 UTC

Congratulations! On the walk, and on taking care of your friend, and on dealing with your family. Go you!

Family is hard, and learning to see yourself and the world without the giant funhouse mirror glasses they give you is hard work. I am glad that you're getting to enjoy some of the benefits of doing that work.

You're awesome!

lyssabard June 6 2013, 05:28:06 UTC

There are times, like after posting this entry, that I get really frustrated with myself and think, "You know, I'm 37. I should be over this emo family shit." And then I see some more things and patterns do not change, and for a bit, I get pissed off and upset. It's just part of my process of returning to center, which...gets easier over time.
I had to get some of that out here, though, because it's also important for me to at least say it to someone. You guys are my "someone".
So thank you and everyone for being here.

Also, I MISS YOU!! (Did I mention that?)

fallconsmate June 5 2013, 20:29:49 UTC

you ARE a bad ass!!! congratulations on your walk, and on doing so well by yourself and by others (meaning...the choices you made to give the bandages away, to be self-assured enough to continue *without* your friend, and to STOP when she needed you so badly, it's an odd wording, but that's the best i can explain it)!!!

i am VERY proud of you for walking. i'm just past the 22 year point of my attempt...i feel no shame over it, it's where i was *then*. i'm not there *now*. huzzah for you and for fuschia for showing up and for going for as long as you each could, and for each of you for knowing when to stop and knowing when to stop in the name of support.

i'm...wow. proud of BOTH of you!!

lyssabard June 6 2013, 05:26:01 UTC

It's good to know that it can and does change, and I am glad you are here. :)
I couldn't have done it without fuschia! She is my soul twin and inspiration. (And often my fandom twin, too. We didn't lack for squee on the walk. Mmm...Sherlock.)

prezzey June 5 2013, 21:01:36 UTC

That does indeed sound like you are in great shape!! Also, 100 lbs is a lot! (Edited to add bc I'm not at my most coherent right now - it is a lot to lift! That takes a lot of muscle, which might not be obvious to people looking at you, but you know it's still there!)

You're awesome all-round as far as I'm concerned. :]

lyssabard June 6 2013, 05:24:32 UTC

Thanks hon! And yeah, it is, and I do have a lot of muscle in my build.
I am planning to start weights and work with it.
My job in the superhero team can be HULK SMASH! ;)

prezzey June 6 2013, 22:59:09 UTC

That sounds right up your alley! :] (Weiiiiiights <3 )

lyssabard June 7 2013, 20:33:19 UTC

RAWR!

worlds_unseen June 6 2013, 03:31:33 UTC

Not too shabby. Good to see you not letting the crap from your family affect you that much.

By the way, I sent you a long and rambly email a few months back, did you get it?

lyssabard June 6 2013, 05:23:15 UTC

I did and I am an absolute dork and didn't get back to you. I will do so tomorrow, ok?

worlds_unseen June 6 2013, 22:18:53 UTC

Remember, during my depression, I didn't get back to anyone for like, two years. So no worries there, I just want to make sure you got it.

lyssabard June 7 2013, 20:33:07 UTC

I got it. Still slacking, but this weekend--and you can nag me on it. :)

Btw, some of it, I knew. It hasn't been THAT long that we've been apart, and you posted more than you realize, love.

Also, I miss you and I am so glad you are around here and FB more, so that I can talk to you and see what's up.

thewronghands June 6 2013, 10:33:28 UTC

Yeah! Go you! You are totally a badass, and I think you did an amazing job. I agree, helping friends in need is the way to go. (I am pleased to be as slow as I am at the trail runs... it means I see the people who need help because they're all in front of me. [grin]) So go you for being a strong badass walker, and go you for being a first responder and good friend, and go you for walking with compassion to help others. [pompoms]

lyssabard June 6 2013, 15:26:18 UTC

Coming from the woman who is my personal definition of badass, THANK YOU! :) Seriously, all your support has really helped and been one of the things that kept me going. :)

And as to being a first responder, ok...I mean, in the opening ceremonies, they stopped and the speaker asked if anyone could provided medical attention/was a doctor, because I assume the heat took someone out just while we were standing there. And then the concert incidents. And....and the universe is apparently being all, "GET OFF YOUR ASS, I NEED YOU HERE." already. So. Time to renew shit after 10somefuck years. :)

*beam* I am a badass. :) I have good teachers. :)