Crawl Space (3/3)
Charlie gives them the directions to Joe Baker’s house as they drive. ‘Lily’s parents died when she was little,’ she says. ‘Just one of the many things we have in common. Joe is her dad’s brother. He was appointed her legal guardian, but she always thought that he resented her because she inherited all of her parents’ money and possessions. He wasn't even mentioned in the will. Turn left here.’ She points toward a narrow road.
‘Things weren't good between him and his brother?’ Dean asks, making the turn.
‘I guess not. She doesn't speak much about it. But he’s her only family, so she keeps in touch with him.’ Charlie looks down at her hands. ‘I-she didn't want to tell him about us. I’m the one who’s been pushing her to include him. I. I felt that she was lucky to have at least one surviving member of her family. I thought-oh god, I thought it would be good for her to involve that asshole in her life. If I hadn't…’ her voice trails off, and Sam knows she’s fighting back tears.
‘Hey,’ Sam says, turning around so he can look at her properly. ‘Listen to me. It’s not your fault, okay? You couldn't have known.’
‘Rationally, I know that.’ Charlie puts her hand on his arm. ‘But thanks for trying to make me feel better. I appreciate it. It’s right around the corner,’ she says to Dean. ‘I think you’d better park here.’
They park the car in an empty plot and proceed on foot. ‘If he’s home,’ Charlie whispers, ‘I’ll ring the doorbell and distract him. There’s an entrance into the basement from the back that you guys can break in through.’
They turn the corner to find a large two-story house. It’s clearly seen better days. The paint is peeling and the plants in the garden are unkempt and withering. ‘The house is Lily’s too,’ she whispers to them. ‘She moved in with me a couple months ago. The asshat couldn’t care less where she lives.’
Sam holds back a chuckle at her words, and Dean winks at him. If nothing else, Dean and Charlie are going to get along fine.
‘I don’t think he’s home,’ Charlie says, pointing to an empty spot in front of the house. ‘His truck’s usually parked there.’
‘Let’s invite ourselves in through the back, then.’ Dean pulls out his little case of tools. Charlie looks at it, her brows arching. ‘You guys professional lock-pickers or something?’
‘Or something,’ Dean says with a grin.
The entrance to the basement clearly hasn't been used in a long time. It’s a slanted door built into the ground and locked with a rusted chain. Dean ignores the chain and works on the lock, hunching over the door.
‘So what’s your story?’ Charlie asks in a low voice as they watch Dean work. ‘You said you were having visions?’
‘Just the dreams,’ Sam says. ‘They felt more like visions though. I can’t explain it.’
Charlie nods. ‘That’s kinda how it started with Lily, too.’
‘Started? There was more?’
‘Yeah. Weird stuff. She-I don’t know, exactly. She started thinking she might have some weird powers or something.’
‘Powers? What kind of powers?’
Charlie swallows. ‘The kind that would make her kill,’ she says in a whisper. At the look on Sam’s face, she continues quickly. ‘She’s not-she’s not a murderer, Sam. She just-we were both just trying to make sense of what was happening to her.’
‘Got it,’ Dean says just then. ‘If you two are done standing there and letting me do all the work, shall we go in?’
Sam rolls his eyes. ‘Lead on, Sherlock.’
After Dean and Charlie have gone in, Sam pulls the doors shut from the inside. If anyone takes a close look they'll see that the lock and chain have been removed, but he hopes that nothing will be noticeable from a distance if the door isn't gaping open.
‘Good thinking,’ Dean whispers, nudging his shoulder, and Sam glows a little from the praise.
There isn't much light in the basement, although there are windows on the top near the ceiling that let in a little sunlight. They have their flashlights too. Sam puts his on and shines it in the corner opposite the windows, where the light doesn't quite reach. The entire basement is piled high with boxes.
‘If there’s a hidden passage,’ Charlie says, ‘there must be some indication of where it is. Look for a spot where the dust is messed up or gone.’
They try following her advice, but the thick layer of dust on the floor already has a lot of footprints, no doubt from when the cops searched the place.
‘Look for any signs that some of the stuff has been moved,’ Dean says.
‘Over here,’ Sam calls. ‘I think these boxes might have been moved recently. I need more light.’
Dean and Charlie come over, and with the light of all three flashlights, they can see scuff marks in the dirt on the floor.
‘Wait.’ Charlie puts her hand on Sam’s arm. ‘Listen.’
Sam hears it too: the sound of a car engine.
‘He’s back,’ Charlie says in a whisper.
They hear the car door slam.
‘Don’t panic,’ Sam whispers back, clutching her arm. ‘It’s three against one.’
‘He might be possessed,’ Dean says. ‘You guys keep looking. I’ll go out and distract him.’
‘Dean, no,’ Sam says in a furious whisper. ‘We have to stick together.’
‘And what if he finds us down here and locks us all up? Sticking together won’t do us any good then.’
‘Maybe I should go out and distract him,’ Charlie offers.
‘No,’ Dean says immediately. ‘I’m not going to risk you. Besides, we’ve dealt with demons before. You haven’t.’
‘You got the holy water on you?’ Sam asks.
Dean pats his pocket. ‘Right here, Sammy. Not to worry. Keep looking, okay?’
Sam nods, his throat tightening. ‘Be careful.’
‘I’m always careful.’ Dean pulls Sam into a brief, tight hug. ‘Back before you know it.’ He claps Charlie on the back and heads off without another word.
‘Help me with the boxes,’ Charlie says, already tugging at them.
Tearing his mind off Dean, Sam starts pulling boxes away from the wall. It only takes a minute or two before they clear a space in front of the wall.
A space that has absolutely nothing on it except more peeling paint. ‘There’s no door here,’ Sam says, frustrated.
‘There has to be.’ Charlie steps up to the wall and runs her hands over the concrete. ‘There’s-’ she starts, but before she can continue, the floor beneath her gives way and she drops with a startled cry.
‘Charlie!’
‘I guess I found the door,’ she calls up in a low voice.
‘You okay?’
‘I think I twisted my ankle a little, but I’m fine. It’s a pretty short drop.’
Sam shines his flashlight on the hole in the floor and sees that it’s a trapdoor that the boxes were hiding. No wonder the cops had found nothing. They hadn't known what they were looking for.
Holding his flashlight in his mouth, he climbs down the rusted rungs set along the side of the wall. It’s not a far climb at all, and he guesses that the hole is no more than ten feet deep.
‘Sam!’ He hears a very welcome voice when he drops down to the floor.
‘Lily!’ She looks even worse than she did in his last dream, her hair hanging around her face in grimy strands and a new bruise across her cheek. ‘The bastard hit you again,’ Sam says, rage rising up inside him.
He senses that Lily is not really the hugging kind, but Sam is, so he gives her a quick hug and releases her from his arms. ‘I’m so glad to see you.’
‘Me too.’ She’s clutching Charlie’s hand tightly, and she gives Sam a watery smile. ‘I wasn't even sure if you were real.’
‘I wasn't sure you were real either, but I had to come and see for myself.’
‘Well, isn't this touching,’ a voice sneers from above their heads.
Sam looks up to see a swarthy, unshaven man grinning down at them from the trapdoor.
Charlie immediately puts herself in front of Lily. ‘You’re going to jail for this, you bastard.’
‘I don’t think so, pretty girl,’ the man says. He looks at Sam. ‘Sam Winchester, I presume.’
‘How do you know my name?’
‘Your friend up there’s a real talker.’ The man laughs. ‘At least he was before I bashed his brains in.’ He looks at Charlie. ‘So, you thought you'd bring a couple of fags to help you get your little girlfriend out? Wrong move, dyke.’ He pulls out a small pistol and points it at her. ‘See, I need these two brats, but I don't need you. Just like I didn't need that kid I just wasted.’
‘Get away from the door!’ Sam pulls Lily and Charlie further into the passage. They're all on their knees now, the cold stone floor above their heads.
His heart is pounding so loudly that he can’t think, an unending chorus of DeanDeanDean running through his head. ‘Stay away from the door,’ he manages to say. ‘If he comes down here, we can take him.’
Joe Baker doesn't seem to care much either way. He fires a shot into the well, making them all jump. ‘You’ll have to come out of there sometime,’ he says as a parting shot. ‘And when you do, I’ll be waiting.’ The door slams shut, leaving them in darkness.
Sam and Charlie switch their flashlights on, pointing them at the low ceiling to spread the light as much as possible. ‘You keep yours on,’ Sam says, switching his light off. ‘We may need to save our batteries.’
‘Was he talking about Dean?’ Lily asks, her voice shaky.
‘Yeah,’ Sam says. His eyes are stinging.
‘There’s no reception down here,’ Charlie says, checking her phone. She crawls closer to Lily, slipping her hand into her girlfriend’s.
‘I know you’re worried about Dean,’ Lily says, looking at Sam. ‘I know there isn't much I can say to make you feel better, but there’s this. Joe lies about stuff all the time. He’s been taunting me saying he killed Charlie.’
‘So there’s hope for Dean?’ Charlie says.
‘I don’t know, but maybe. Don't give up yet, Sam. Hope is everything. It’s what’s gotten me through the last few days. I kept telling myself that I was going to get out of here. And then when he told me that Charlie was dead, I told myself it couldn't be true. That even if it was, I would get out of here and kill him for hurting her.’
Sam just nods. It feels as though someone’s stabbed him in the heart with an ice-pick, and the pain won’t go away until he finds Dean again.
‘So how long have you guys been together?’ Charlie asks, putting a hand on his arm.
Sam gives her a small smile, grateful that she’s trying to keep him occupied. ‘Uh, I wouldn't say we’re together, exactly. I kissed him and he-uh, he kinda punched me.’
‘He did?’ Charlie says in surprise. ‘But he-I don’t know, he just seems so protective of you.’
‘Yeah. We, uh, we go way back. It’s like he’s been looking out for me my whole life, you know?’ Sam doesn't know if he should say anything about Dean being his brother. He’s not sure that anyone else would ever understand.
‘Still, I don't see why he had to punch you.’ Charlie glances at Lily with a worried expression. Lily’s leaning back against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest, her eyes closed.
Sam nods to show her that he understands her worry, not wanting to say anything out loud. Lily probably needs a hospital after being starved and dehydrated for days.
‘It’s kind of complicated,’ he says in response to Charlie’s comment. ‘We were raised by hunters. My dad’s one. He found out a few days back that I may have demon blood in me. He thinks it has something to do with why my mom was killed when I was a baby. They, uh, my dad and a hunting buddy of his. They’ve gone to look for answers. Dean was supposed to make sure I didn't do anything… evil, I guess. When I kissed him, he thought it was the demon blood that was making me hit on him.’
Charlie nods as though she understands all too well what Sam is saying. ‘I guess Lily is the same, which is why she’s been able to communicate with you and the others through her dreams.’
‘Others? What others?’
‘She didn't tell you? There are at least two more, apart from you. She was communicating with them through her dreams even before she got trapped in here. She told me about them. One was a girl named Ava. The other was some dude whose name I can’t remember right now. Jacob, Joseph, something like that.’
‘Jake,’ Lily says, opening her eyes. She runs her tongue over her lips. ‘Don’t suppose you guys have a six-pack hidden somewhere?’
‘Sorry,’ Charlie says. ‘I should've thought to bring some water.’
‘We’ll get out of here,’ Sam says. ‘Just hang on. If Dean’s okay, he’ll have us out of here soon.’
‘Shouldn’t we try to do something, though?’ Charlie asks. Her unspoken words hang in the air. If Dean’s dead, then no one’s coming to help them.
‘Joe said he needs Lily and me,’ Sam says, trying desperately to keep his mind off Dean. His imagination doesn't help, supplying him with dozens of images of Dean being killed in various ways. ‘Maybe I should just go out there and try to talk to him.’
‘He said he needs you alive. That doesn't mean he can’t hurt you,’ Charlie points out.
Sam falls back into silence. There’s really nothing more to say.
‘Maybe I should try Jake or Ava,’ Lily says.
‘Do they know you're in here?’
‘I’m not sure. You’re the only one I can remember dreaming of since I’ve been trapped here. I still don’t really have the hang of it. Sometimes I can’t even remember my own name when I’m dreaming, and there are times when I wake up and don’t remember what I was dreaming of.’ She looks at Charlie. ‘You remember the first time I saw Ava? I think we scared the hell out of each other. I dreamed I was right in her bedroom. That was one of the dreams I remembered as soon as I woke up.’
‘How do you do that? Get into someone’s dream?’ Sam asks.
‘I don’t think I can get into just anyone’s dreams, and I can’t really control it. I can’t get into Charlie’s dreams. We’ve tried. I think it’s just us ‘special children,’ you know?’
‘Special children?’
‘Jake uses the phrase,’ Lily says. ‘He says he met someone who told him there’s a whole bunch of us with special powers or something.’
‘It was so weird when you showed up at my door,’ Charlie says. ‘It was like I knew others like Lily existed, but I wasn't sure if they were all just in her dreams. And then there you were.’
‘I told you they were real,’ Lily says, and her tone tells Sam that it’s an old argument between them.
‘So what’s Dean’s story?’ Lily asks him. ‘How were you both in the same dream? I’m assuming you both have the powers? Although that would be weird, because Dean’s older than the rest of us, isn’t he?’
‘Uh, no, he doesn’t. Dean took some stuff so he could get into my dream. It’s called dream walking.’
‘That is so cool. I’m trying that too,’ Charlie says immediately.
Before anyone can respond, they hear the trap door opening.
‘What should we do?’ Charlie whispers. ‘Try to take him down?’
‘Hello?’ a voice calls. It’s not Joe Baker. ‘Anyone down here? Lily?’
‘I know that voice,’ Lily says. She crawls out of the passage and into the well. ‘Jake!’
They hear Jake let out a whoop. ‘I knew you were real!’
Sam and Charlie crawl out into the well too, and see that Jake is giving Lily a hand up.
‘Did you see anyone else up there?’ Sam calls up, unable to help himself. His anxiety for Dean is like bile in his throat now, and he’s afraid he’ll throw up if he doesn't find Dean.
‘You Sam?’ Jake asks. ‘There’s a guy outside who told me you were in here. He’s hurt pretty bad, from the looks of it.’
‘Dean.’ Sam’s heart clenches. Dean’s alive. Dean’s hurt.
He makes sure Charlie is also out of the passage safely before he’s up and running for the steps. He doesn't pause to look around the house, but runs straight for the door.
Dean’s sitting on the sidewalk outside. One side of his head is covered in blood, and he’s resting his head in one shaking hand.
‘Dean. Dean.’ Sam falls to his knees next to him, pulling his hand away. He sucks in his breath. There’s a deep gash just above Dean’s left temple, and it’s bleeding freely.
‘Hey, baby boy.’ Dean’s voice is slurred. His hands reach out to pat Sam’s face. ‘You’re okay? Are you okay?’
‘I think you’re concussed,’ Sam says, holding on to Dean’s shoulders.
‘I’m fine.’ Dean rests one bloody hand against Sam’s cheek, thumb running over his cheekbone. ‘You’re okay,’ he says again. He wraps his hand around the nape of Sam’s neck and pulls him down, pressing his lips to Sam’s temple. Sam lets him, feeling as though he’s about to collapse from relief himself.
‘I’m good, Dean.’ Sam lets Dean fall against him, wrapping his arms around his brother. Dean feels wonderfully solid and warm against him. It isn't until he feels wetness in Dean’s hair that Sam realizes he’s crying. ‘Gonna fix you up,’ he promises.
‘Watch out for him,’ Dean says suddenly. Sam looks up to find Dean’s gaze on Jake, who’s helping Lily out of the house. ‘He’s with Baker.’
‘What? You sure?’
‘He came up behind me when I was about to get the sleazebag,’ Dean says.
‘He’s the one who hurt you? Jake?’
‘He said it was a mistake.’ Dean’s voice is low, and Sam’s not sure if it’s because he’s badly hurt or because he doesn't want Jake to hear him. ‘I’m not sure I believe him. Baker took off when Jake brought me down.’
‘I’m going to break his face,’ Sam says, starting to get up, but Dean pulls him back down.
‘Don’t say anything yet,’ he murmurs. ‘We gotta see what game he’s playing.’
‘He’s not going to get away with what he did to you,’ Sam vows. ‘But yeah, let’s see to you first. I think you're gonna need stitches.’
-
‘How is she?’ Sam asks when Charlie comes out of Lily’s hospital room.
‘Sleeping it off,’ Charlie sits down next to him and runs her hands wearily through her hair. ‘They gave her a mild sedative and she’s on an IV. She’s going to be okay. How’s Dean?’ She nods toward Dean, who’s dozing in the chair next to Sam’s.
‘He’s good too. Needed twelve stitches, but they don't think he has a concussion. Gonna keep an eye on him just in case.’
‘I heard that,’ Dean says groggily, opening his eyes. ‘Hey, Charlie.’
‘Hey, Dean.’ She smiles warmly at him. ‘Why don't you go sleep in an actual bed, huh? We can talk when you and Lily have rested.’ She turns to Sam and hands him a bunch of keys. ‘Here, you can use the apartment.’
‘You sure? We can get a motel room.’
‘Nonsense.’ She pushes the keys into his hand. ‘Guest room’s all set up.’
‘What about you?’
‘I’m going to stay for a bit. Don't want to leave her just yet.’
Sam gives her a hug. ‘I understand.’
She holds him tight for a moment before pulling back. ‘Thank you. Both of you.’
-
‘You hungry?’ Sam asks, looking into the guest room.
Dean’s leaning back against the pillows, legs stretched out. ‘Nah. Probably puke it all back up.’ He opens his eyes. ‘You get something to eat?’
‘I’m good.’ Sam doesn't think he can stomach anything either.
Dean studies his face. ‘You sure?’
‘I’m not the one who got his head cracked open, so yeah.’
Dean pats the bed next to him. ‘Come here.’
Sam goes obediently, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
‘Not like that,’ Dean says, tugging at his sleeve. ‘Lie down.’
‘I can take the sofa.’
‘Bed’s big enough for two, Sammy. Don’t worry, I won’t molest you in your sleep.’
Sam pulls away, his face flushing. ‘That’s not funny.’
‘It is. Just a bit,’ Dean says with a grin.
‘You’re high on your pain meds.’
‘And you're just being stupid. Just lie down, will you?’
‘You’ll wake up and think I snuck into your bed when you were asleep.’
‘Then I’ll just kick your ass out of bed, and everything’ll be the same as usual.’
Sam sighs, too tired to argue. ‘Fine. But move over. I’m not snuggling.’
‘Aww, Sammy. And I thought you liked me that way.’
‘Dean, I swear, if you don't shut the fuck up, I’ll smother you in your sleep.’
‘No, you won’t.’ Dean ruffles Sam’s hair. ‘You love me.’
Before Sam can respond, Dean’s out like a light. Sam looks at him and gently pulls away a strand of hair that’s sticking to his bandage. Then he rests his head on the pillow next to Dean’s and lets himself sink into sleep.
-
He dreams that he’s in the hospital, sitting next to Lily’s bed.
‘You summon me or something?’ he asks.
Lily lets out a laugh. ‘Nah. I think you’re getting good at dream walking by yourself.’
‘You feeling better?’
‘Much.’ Lily smiles. ‘Charlie’s been so good to me. Dean being good to you?’
‘I think I’m the one who’s supposed to be taking care of him,’ Sam says, smiling back.
‘You know what I mean. You were so scared before we got out. I know how you feel, remember? I was locked up there thinking Charlie might be dead.’
‘I remember,’ Sam says.
‘We’ll take care of them,’ Lily says, and it sounds like a promise.
-
He wakes with his legs tangled with Dean’s, and Dean propped up on an elbow, his fingers playing with Sam’s hair.
‘Morning, princess.’
‘Dean, what're you doing?’ Sam asks, still half-asleep.
‘Keeping the sunlight off your delicate face.’ Dean makes a show of cupping his hand over Sam’s face, shielding it from the morning light.
Sam bats his hand away. ‘Very funny.’ He untangles himself from Dean, feeling horribly self-conscious, and gets up. ‘You feel up to showering?’
‘Why, you wanna join me?’ Dean wiggles his eyebrows.
‘Seriously, what the hell has gotten into you?’
‘I thought something from hell had gotten into you?’ Dean says with a straight face.
Sam pummels him in the chest with a pillow, mindful of his bandage, and goes off in search of breakfast with Dean’s laughter following him into the corridor.
-
He finds eggs and cheese in the fridge and a fresh loaf on the counter and makes a mental note of the stuff he needs to replace as he breaks eggs into a pan. He makes the eggs the way Dean likes them, the yolks broken in the pan and cooked until they aren't runny any more.
Dean comes in just as the coffee is done. He takes an appreciative whiff. ‘My kingdom for a coffee,’ he says.
‘A simple ‘please’ would be enough.’ Sam sets a mug down in front of him and goes back to making toast.
‘You pissed off at me?’ Dean asks after he’s taken a sip. ‘I was just messing with you, Sammy.’
‘Don’t call me Sammy,’ Sam says automatically.
Dean doesn't seem to have the patience to deal with Sam’s annoyance, and he answers tersely. ‘Fine. Sam. Where the hell did that Jake guy disappear to?’
Sam shrugs. ‘I dunno. He took off when we got to the hospital. But Lily can probably track him down easily enough. I think he knows something we don’t. Lily said he referred to us as ‘special children’.’
‘That doesn't sound creepy and perverted at all.’
‘He told her he met someone who knows something. Maybe a demon. Maybe even the demon.’
‘The one who killed Mom.’
‘Yeah.’ Sam sets their plates on the table and sits across from Dean. ‘We need to tell Dad.’
‘I’ll head out soon.’
Sam doesn't miss that Dean hasn't said ‘we’. ‘You okay to drive?’
‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Dean focuses his attention on devouring his eggs, and suddenly Sam knows that he doesn't want Dean to leave this way, when things are so strained between them. It was only minutes ago that Dean had been teasing him about showering together.
‘Hey,’ he says, nudging Dean’s foot with his own. ‘I’m sorry.’
Dean doesn't look up. ‘What for?’
‘For just-I don’t know. Everything. Putting you on the spot. Making you face Dad.’
‘You’re not making me do anything, and you don't have to be sorry.’
There’s a bit of a silence, in which Sam actually appreciates that Dean’s not looking at him because he can take the time to look at Dean. ‘You washed your hair,’ he says in surprise.
‘So?’
‘How’d you do that without getting your bandage wet?’
‘I’m a freaking genius, that’s how.’ Dean looks up and gives him a quick grin, and Sam melts a little with relief.
Sam gets himself a second cup of coffee while Dean’s still finishing his first. He’s about to sit down when Dean pushes his plate away and holds out his hand. Surprised, Sam puts his own into it without thinking.
Dean tugs him close. ‘We good?’
‘Yeah, Dean. ’Course we are.’
‘Then come sit.’ He puts his hands on Sam’s waist and guides him closer.
‘You mean…’
‘Yeah. Sit on my lap.’
‘Dean.’ Sam’s heart is pounding. ‘You’re hurt.’
‘I promise you I’m not hurting right now. I just want you over here.’
Sam goes with it, straddling Dean’s thighs. Dean keeps his hands lightly on Sam’s waist. ‘I think we have some unfinished business, don't you?’ he says.
‘Like what?’ Sam says, his voice barely rising above a whisper.
Dean presses him closer, his hands sliding up Sam’s back, slow and gentle, stopping at Sam’s shoulders and massaging at the knots there.
‘Mm.’ Sam drops his forehead to Dean’s, careful not to jostle his bandage.
‘Feel good?’
‘Feels great.’
‘You’re so tense,’ Dean murmurs, still kneading Sam’s shoulders with strong, steady hands. ‘It’s just me, Sam. You don't have to be nervous around me.’
‘I know.’ Sam’s eyes are closed, his senses focused on Dean’s hands, his voice. He links his hands at the base of Dean’s neck, fingers stroking into the soft, thick hair at Dean’s nape.
‘You’re adorable,’ Dean says with a soft chuckle, brushing his lips across the bridge of Sam’s nose. ‘You started this, and now you're too shy to look at me?’
‘Hey,’ Sam protests, opening his eyes. ‘I am not shy.’
‘Then tell me,’ Dean says with a grin. ‘Tell me everything.’
‘Tell you what?’
‘Since when have you wanted to kiss me?’
‘Dean,’ Sam says, flushing.
‘Adorable,’ Dean says again, squeezing Sam’s shoulders. ‘Since when?’
‘You’ll laugh.’
‘I won’t, I swear. You can punch me in the face if I do. I give you permission.’
‘I think I've wanted to do it forever.’
‘That’s not a straight answer.’
‘Okay, then. Since I was twelve or so, I guess.’
Dean’s eyes widen. ‘Twelve?’
‘Yeah. I remember I-don’t you dare laugh at me, Dean-there was this one time I came home from school and you-you were making out with this girl on the couch.’
‘I remember.’
‘Yeah. She was on top of you and you had your hand down her shorts.’
‘Yeah. Like this.’ Dean’s hand slips down to the small of Sam’s back, fingertips easing under his jeans and sliding under the elastic band of his briefs. Sam sucks in a sharp breath. ‘This okay?’ Dean asks. ‘Am I-should I stop?’
‘No.’ Sam takes a noisy breath through his mouth, his lips apart. ‘I… I like your hand. There. Uh, you know.’
‘Go on. I had my hand in her shorts?’
‘Yeah,’ Sam says, swallowing. ‘The way you were kissing. Putting your tongues in each other’s mouths. I’d only seen that in movies.’
‘Mm-hm.’ Dean noses along the side of Sam’s face, nuzzling lightly against his cheek. Under Sam’s clothes, Dean’s fingertips caress his skin, not moving any lower.
‘I-I must’ve made a sound or something, because you stopped kissing and she lifted her head and saw me. She didn't freak out or anything. She just got up and straightened her top and smiled at me.’
‘She was pretty fucking cool,’ Dean agrees.
‘It was only later that I realized that it wasn't you I’d been jealous of.’
‘Wish I’d known,’ Dean says. His face is tilted up to Sam’s, so close that Sam’s bangs are brushing against his forehead. His fingers keep making lazy little circles just below the waistband of Sam’s briefs. ‘My little brother, lusting after me.’
Sam snorts. ‘You’d’ve freaked out.’
‘Tell me about the handcuffs,’ Dean says, changing the subject abruptly.
Sam gasps, and Dean smirks. ‘Didn’t think I’d noticed, did you? Thought you were being so clever.’ He nudges Sam’s head up, runs his nose down the column of Sam’s throat.
‘Dean.’ Sam’s clutching at his hair now, his breath reduced to a low, frantic rhythm.
‘Does it turn you on, little brother?’
‘Yes.’ Sam presses against Dean. ‘Dean. Fuck.’
‘Open your mouth,’ Dean orders gently.
Sam obeys instantly, mindless to everything but Dean. Dean’s finger slips into his mouth. Sam’s too unfocused to really suck on it but Dean doesn't seem to mind. He pets Sam’s tongue with his finger, getting it wet.
‘I’d ask you to go get the cuffs from the car,’ Dean says, ‘but I don’t think I could let you go anywhere right now.’ He nuzzles his way to Sam’s earlobe and nips it lightly with his teeth. ‘At least not until I’ve made you come.’
‘Dean,’ Sam says, his world narrowed to one word in such sharp focus that it’s almost painful to say it. His insides feel like they’re about to burst out of his skin.
‘Ssh,’ Dean murmurs, pressing his lips to Sam’s ear. ‘I’ve got you.’ He nudges Sam’s head back up. ‘Hey. Hey, sweetheart. Can you unbutton your jeans for me?’
Sam does it without thinking, his forehead pressed to Dean’s. They both look down as Sam pushes the hem of his t-shirt up and out of the way, and undoes the button. ‘Zipper too?’ he whispers.
‘Yeah. All the way, baby. Just like that.’ The V of Sam’s jeans falls open and Dean brings his knuckles against the front of Sam’s black underwear, rubbing against him. ‘This okay?’ he murmurs.
‘’S fucking awesome.’ Sam’s proud of himself for getting the words out. He’s surprised they actually sound somewhat like words.
Dean chuckles, a low, warming sound. He slides his finger back between Sam’s lips. ‘You ever had anything inside you?’ His other hand slides further down, cupping Sam’s ass and squeezing, leaving no doubt as to what he means.
‘Mm,’ Sam says around Dean’s finger.
‘That a yes?’ Dean withdraws his finger, tracing saliva over Sam’s lips, drawing the shape of his mouth.
‘Yeah,’ Sam says, hoarse.
‘You done this with another guy?’
‘Jesus, Dean. No. Of course not.’
‘With a girl?’
‘Just kissing.’
Dean relaxes, letting his finger slip back into Sam’s mouth. Sam’s too turned on to be annoyed at him and besides, his possessiveness is kind of hot. ‘Just you, then? Your fingers?’
‘Mmm.’
‘Anything else?’ Dean’s lips curve into a wicked smile when Sam flushes.
‘I won’t tell you that even with my dying breath.’
‘Aww, Sammy, you're no fun.’ Dean nips at Sam’s earlobe again. ‘I have my ways of making you talk, you know.’
‘I’ll never tell. Never.’ Sam gasps again when Dean lowers his wet finger to rub at Sam’s hole.
‘Yeah?’ Dean says, and Sam knows this is a different conversation, that Dean’s asking for permission.
‘Please,’ he begs, pushing back against Dean’s hand.
‘Fuck, Sam.’ Dean caresses his hole in tiny circles. ‘So fucking responsive. I wish you could see your eyes right now. It’s like you’re on every drug ever.’
‘Don’t need them.’ Sam lets out a moan as Dean’s fingertip slides into him. ‘Just you.’
‘You have me,’ Dean says like he’s making a promise. ‘Put your hands behind my neck. Imagine they're cuffed, okay?’
‘Yeah,’ Sam says, licking his dry lips. He links his fingers behind Dean’s neck, pressing his wrists together like they’re cuffed. Obeying Dean’s orders.
‘God, the things I wanna do to you.’ Dean’s other hand is back against Sam’s underwear, knuckles rubbing him through the thin cotton. ‘Tilt your head up.’ He nips at the soft skin of Sam’s throat, and then sucks in a bruise there. ‘Feel like marking you all over.’
Sam clutches at Dean’s hair, rocking between his hands. Dean’s finger is sliding in and out of him now in shallow thrusts. ‘Just like that,’ Dean encourages, kissing his way back to Sam’s ear. ‘You like that? Fucking yourself on my finger?’
‘You’re driving me crazy.’ The words come out as a rasp. Sam’s eyes are shut tight, his fingers clenched in Dean’s hair as he keeps rocking back and forth.
‘What d’you think you're doing to me?’ Dean sounds wrecked, and Sam opens his eyes to look down at his face. He looks wrecked too, his forehead beaded with sweat, the muscles in his arms taut and standing out.
‘Good,’ Sam says viciously. Dean’s his to break, to put together again. Sam pushes himself down on Dean’s finger until he’s impaled to the knuckle, letting out a sob of relief. Dean gets with the program and starts fingering him faster, his almost-dry finger moving ruthlessly in and out of Sam.
‘Just like that,’ Sam gasps out as Dean cups him through his underwear and squeezes.
‘Kiss me,’ Dean orders, and Sam’s mouth is on his in an instant, lips parting for Dean’s tongue. Dean stabs it into his mouth and Sam sucks on it like he’s starving for it. Which he is, in a way.
‘Can you come like this?’ Dean says into his mouth when they part for air. His hands haven't stopped moving, and Sam is having serious trouble thinking.
‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Just… just keep talking to me.’
Dean chuckles again, and Sam thinks it just might be the sexiest sound he’s ever heard. Working Sam with both his hands, he lays out a fantasy of stripping Sam bare and cuffing his hands and licking his ass, slapping it with his belt. ‘Gag you good and tight so you can’t make a sound,’ he promises, and it’s more than enough to tip Sam over the edge into sheer bliss. He pretty much screams into Dean’s mouth as Dean kisses him savagely through his orgasm, his capable hands never stopping what they’re doing to Sam’s body.
The kiss goes on long after Sam is wrung dry. Dean slides his finger carefully out of Sam’s hole and gives Sam’s lower lip a last gentle bite before he breaks the kiss. ‘Good?’ he asks, his gaze searching Sam’s face.
Sam cups Dean’s face in his hands and kisses him again, just a soft press of lips on lips. ‘Perfect.’ He’s still breathing as though he’s just run a mile.
‘Easy,’ Dean murmurs, rubbing his back. Sam curls against him, resting his cheek against Dean’s chest. Dean keeps rubbing his back, his other hand petting Sam’s hair.
‘You haven't come,’ Sam says after a minute, raising his head, his eyes wide.
Dean gives him a sheepish grin. ‘I kinda did.’
‘You-when?’
‘When you lost it and started kissing me.’
‘That’s.’ Sam stares down at him in awe. ‘Wow, Dean.’
‘Wow is about right.’ Dean brushes Sam’s hair out of his eyes, the gesture so tender after what they’ve just said and done that Sam closes his eyes for a moment, wanting to preserve it in his memory forever.
‘Guess we both need a shower now,’ Dean says with a laugh, wrapping his arms around Sam and squeezing him tight, and Sam’s sure that this is what happiness feels like.
-
They visit Lily and Charlie at the hospital, making a quick stop at the supermarket on the way. Sam buys eggs and other stuff to replace what they’ve used, and Dean gets some fruit to take to the hospital.
‘Wow, thanks, guys,’ Charlie says, taking the bag full of grapes, apples and pears from Sam.
‘Way better than flowers,’ Lily says approvingly, accepting a bunch of grapes and popping three into her mouth. She’s sitting up and looks bright and cheerful.
‘She hates flowers,’ Charlie says, rolling her eyes. She smiles at Sam. ‘You look happy.’
‘I am,’ Sam says, giving her a grin. ‘Thanks.’
‘And you look way more happy than you should,’ Lily says, looking at Dean. ‘Considering you're the walking wounded.’
Dean shrugs. ‘What can I say? I’m glad my boy here is fine, and you're out of that hell-hole. Any word about Jake or your uncle?’
‘The cops came by this morning,’ Charlie says. ‘They don't have anything on Joe yet.’
‘Jake’ll turn up, I guess.’ Lily doesn't sound too fazed by his absence.
‘You should be careful around him,’ Dean says seriously. ‘Don’t trust him.’
‘I’m not planning on it,’ Lily assures him. ‘But he has answers I need.’ She looks at Sam. ‘Answers we both need.’
Sam nods. ‘I want to meet Ava too. Maybe if we all figure out what we have in common, we can beat this thing.’
Charlie and Lily exchange a glance, as though they've talked about this. ‘The guest room’s yours as long as you want it, Sam,’ Lily says. ‘And you, Dean.’
‘Thank you,’ Sam says, genuinely moved. ‘I think-I think I might take you up on that offer.’
‘What?’ Dean looks surprised.
‘Joe Baker knew my name, Dean. He said you told him, but I’m guessing he was lying?’
‘I didn’t exactly get the chance to chat with him. Jake got me before I could do anything.’
‘I thought as much. Baker knows stuff, Dean. I can’t-I can’t just walk away while he’s still out there.’
‘I guess your mind’s made up, then,’ Dean says shortly, getting to his feet. ‘I’ll get us some lunch.’ He leaves the room without looking at Sam.
-
That evening, after Lily is discharged from the hospital, Dean drives them all back to the apartment, Leaving the girls to rest in their bedroom, Sam and Dean go back to the guest room.
‘Let me change your bandage,’ Sam says.
Dean makes a sound of assent and sits on the edge of the bed, watching Sam pull out the extra dressings he'd picked up at the hospital. Sam gently peels off the gauze covering Dean’s wound. ‘It looks good,’ he says, dabbing ointment on it and replacing the bandage with a fresh one. ‘You should rest for a bit. You look beat. I’ll go get us some food.’
Dean catches hold of his wrist. ‘Don’t leave the apartment.’
‘Dean, I won’t go far.’
‘Just-listen to me on this. Don’t leave, okay?’
‘I guess I can order takeout,’ Sam says, and it's only then that Dean relaxes his hold.
‘Good,’ he says sleepily.
‘I’ll wake you in a while,’ Sam says, leaning down to kiss his forehead. ‘Sleep.’
-
Sam keeps his word. He doesn't want to disturb the girls, so he looks around in the kitchen and finds some takeout menus. He chooses one for a Thai restaurant and orders both green and red curry and steamed rice and vegetables, and then cracks open one of the beers they’d bought that day and sits at the kitchen table.
It’s just past sundown and the orange glow of the sun is still on the horizon, bathing the kitchen in light. The ordinariness of things surprises Sam sometimes. The sun’s setting just as it does on any other day, as though his world hasn't just been shattered in both good and bad ways.
Suddenly, he feels that Dean is way too far away from him. He goes back into the bedroom to find Dean sound asleep, breathing noisily through his nose. Sam curls up next to him, sipping at his beer.
-
Dinner is a satisfying affair. Charlie compliments Sam on his food choices as though he were the chef, and Dean takes every opportunity to both steal food off Sam’s plate and feed him from his own, his fingers lingering at Sam’s lips. Sam doesn't even have to feel embarrassed at the open display of affection because Lily and Charlie are even worse than them, giving each other sips of wine and stealing kisses between bites of food.
After dessert-a tub of crème brûlée flavored ice-cream that Charlie digs out of the freezer and slices of cold apple and cheese, washed down with the rest of the wine-Dean gets to his feet. ‘I should be going. It’s a pretty long drive back.’
‘You’re leaving now?’ Charlie asks, sounding disappointed. ‘I thought you'd stay till the morning.’
‘People back home must be worried,’ Dean says. ‘And there are answers to be found, like you said. I gotta go talk to my dad.’ He glances at Sam.
‘Yeah,’ Sam says. ‘I’ll help you get your stuff.’
-
‘There are some extra dressings in the bag,’ Sam says, watching Dean put his few belongings into his duffel. ‘Change it when you get there, okay?’
‘You sure you don't wanna come with?’ Dean asks, zipping up his bag.
‘I’m not sure,’ Sam says honestly. ‘But I-I don’t know, Dean. If I go back and he locks me up I-I don’t know what I’ll do.’
‘I’ll look out for you. You know I will.’
Sam lets out a breath, sitting down at the edge of the bed. ‘Dean, I…’
‘No, I get it.’ Dean’s voice is soft. ‘You don’t trust me to disobey Dad’s orders and take your side.’ He puts his hand on top of Sam’s head in a brief caress. ‘Take care of yourself, Sammy.’
Then he’s gone and the room is instantly too quiet, too dark.
Sam keeps sitting for a minute, almost gasping for breath, his hands clutching the bed frame. Then he gets to his feet and goes out.
Charlie and Lily are at the door, obviously just having said goodbye to Dean.
‘I’ll be right back,’ he says.
‘Take your time,’ Charlie says, her eyes full of sympathy.
He finds Dean shutting the trunk. 'Hey,' Dean says. 'You okay?'
Sam considers saying he's fine, but then shakes his head.
'C'mere.' Dean opens his arms and Sam steps into them, burying his face in Dean's neck.
‘It's all right,’ Dean murmurs, holding him tight. 'You're going to be just fine.'
‘I need you.’ Sam’s voice is muffled against Dean’s skin.
‘I'm not leaving you, Sammy. I'll be back, okay? I promise.’
Sam lifts his head and pulls Dean to him, pressing their mouths together. Dean kisses back instantly, his hands cupping Sam’s face. ‘Thought you were going to leave,’ Sam says, his hands fisted into Dean’s shirt. ‘Thought you’d leave just like that, without-without even-’
‘Ssh,’ Dean says, pulling him close, his fingers running through Sam’s hair over and over. ‘I’m right here. And I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.’
It could've been fine, Sam thinks as he watches the Impala speed away from him.
It would all have been fine if he'd loved Dean just a little bit less.
-
Sam wakes up the next day and reaches for Dean before remembering that he’s back in Sioux Falls. ‘Happy birthday, big brother,’ he says out loud, and the bitter taste in his mouth is more than just morning breath.
He calls Dean after breakfast, using the landline because his phone is back at Bobby’s place. Dean doesn’t pick up, and Sam doesn’t leave a voicemail.
Lily has to go down to the station to make an official statement and insists that Charlie go to her classes, so Sam accompanies her.
‘You look like you're going to a funeral, if you don’t mind my saying so,’ Lily comments as they climb into her jeep.
Sam winces. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologize,’ Lily says, waving it away. ‘Charlie and I broke up once for like two weeks. It felt like a century. Worst time of my life.’
‘Even after what just happened to you?’
‘Even with that. But you and Dean haven’t broken up, right?’
Sam stares through the windshield at the traffic. ‘I don’t think so. But he-uh, he didn't say when he’d be back.’
‘He has things to do, right? There was a legit reason for him to leave?’
‘Yeah, I guess.’
‘Then I guess you can give him the benefit of the doubt.’
‘Still doesn’t make me feel less crappy,’ Sam says with a rueful smile.
‘We’ll pick up some more ice cream on the way back. It may not make you miss him less, but at least it’s better to be miserable with ice cream than without, right?’
Sam can’t argue with that.
-
As it turns out, Sam needn't have worried.
‘Looks like you won’t be needing the ice cream after all,’ Lily says with a smile as they pull onto her street. Sam follows her gaze and sees the Impala outside her building.
‘Dean!’ He’s out of the jeep before the engine stops running.
Dean’s at the trunk, just as he was when Sam had come downstairs the previous night, his heart in pieces.
‘Hey, Sammy. Miss me?’ Dean says with a grin. ‘Oof!’
Sam launches himself at Dean and hugs him tight. ‘You came back!’
‘’Course I did. I said I was going to, didn't I?’
‘I thought you might take days. Weeks. I-I called and you didn't pick up.’
‘Shit. I left my phone in the car. Sorry, Sam.’
‘It’s okay.’ Sam turns around as Lily passes them on her way up.
‘Take your time,’ she says with a grin. ‘We’ll see you inside, yeah?’
Sam waves to her and turns back to Dean. ‘What happened? Did you even get to Bobby’s place?’
‘Yeah.’ Dean scrubs a hand over his face. ‘Get in the car.’ Seeing the look on Sam’s face, he adds quickly, ‘Not taking you anywhere, Sammy. Just need to sit for a while, okay? I haven’t slept and I’ve been driving pretty much non-stop.’
They sit in the back seat, where Dean tells Sam his story. ‘Dad and Bobby had just gotten back when I arrived. As we thought, Dad was pretty livid that I’d left you with strangers. Gave me a real earful.’
Sam puts his hand into Dean’s and squeezes. He can’t even begin to count the number of sacrifices that Dean’s made for him, and he knows that going against Dad’s rules doesn't come easy to Dean at all.
‘I’ll tell you the details later,’ Dean says, yawning. ‘Sorry. Where was I? Yeah, they said they met the psychic. Missouri. She found this kid called Max and was able to figure some stuff out. She thinks that the thing that killed Mom is a demon called Azazel, who poisoned you and several other kids with his blood when you were babies. She doesn't know what for, but we can guess it’s nothing good.’
Although he’d been almost certain it was true, it still shocks Sam to get confirmation of the fact. ‘So I-I’m not going to turn into a demon or anything?’
‘Dad doesn't think so, but he says you need to go back. He says it’s not safe for you out here.’
‘Did you tell him about Lily and Jake and the others? That we have a real chance to find answers here?’
‘Yeah, but after what Jake did I don't know if we should go down that route, Sam.’
‘Lily said he met the guy who did this to us. He probably met this Azazel himself.’
‘We don’t know that,’ Dean says in a reasonable tone of voice, but Sam isn't really in a mood to be reasonable.
‘So-what? You expect me to just go back and give up on the one lead I have? To be locked up like some sort of monster while Dad continues on his crusade?’
‘I didn't say that.’
‘Then what are you saying?’
‘Listen, Sam. I need you to cut me a little slack here, okay? I’m on your side. That’s why I didn’t stay at Bobby’s. I told Dad you need time. I told him I’d look out for you, but he has to trust you to make your own decisions.’
‘I take it that didn't go very well.’
‘Yeah.’ Dean lets out a humorless laugh. ‘He said that if I left, I shouldn't come back.’
‘He didn't mean it,’ Sam says, squeezing Dean’s hand.
‘Yeah, I know,’ Dean says wearily. ‘He says stuff like that when he’s angry.’
‘So you just-what? Turned around and drove all the way back?’
‘Pretty much, yeah.’
‘You should've at least gotten some sleep,’ Sam scolds gently, lifting Dean’s hand to his mouth and kissing his palm. ‘Hey, where’s your ring?’
‘Oh. I forgot.’ Dean slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out the silver ring.
‘Why’d you take it off?’
‘I made a stop on the way.’ Dean holds out the ring, tilting it so it catches the light, and Sam sees a small row of symbols inscribed on the inside. ‘Found those in one of Bobby’s books a while ago. They’re sigils. For protection.’
‘You had those inscribed on your ring?’
‘I wanted you to have it, okay? As-I don’t know, I don’t know if they’ll help, but they’re supposed to protect the wearer from demons. I know you don’t think I look out for you the way I should, but-’
‘That’s not true,’ Sam cuts in. ‘You-you look out for me more than anyone else, Dean. You-fuck, you’re my whole world.’ He presses closer to Dean. ‘I can’t do this without you, you know that, you have to know that.’
‘Wear the ring,’ Dean says. ‘I won’t let you down, Sammy.’
Sam holds out his hand, and Dean slips the ring on to his finger. ‘Doesn’t mean we’re married, or anything.’ He pushes Sam back against the seat and flops over him. ‘Fuck, I’m so tired.’
Sam wraps his arms around Dean, holding him close against his chest. ‘We’ll go upstairs in a minute.’
‘Gotta get our own place,’ Dean says, butting his head against Sam’s chin, and Sam threads his fingers through Dean’s hair.
‘Happy twenty-first, Dean,’ Sam murmurs. Dean says something indistinct in response, already half-asleep, and Sam smiles against his hair, tightening his arms around Dean.
~end
Thank you for reading!
Masterpost
‘Things weren't good between him and his brother?’ Dean asks, making the turn.
‘I guess not. She doesn't speak much about it. But he’s her only family, so she keeps in touch with him.’ Charlie looks down at her hands. ‘I-she didn't want to tell him about us. I’m the one who’s been pushing her to include him. I. I felt that she was lucky to have at least one surviving member of her family. I thought-oh god, I thought it would be good for her to involve that asshole in her life. If I hadn't…’ her voice trails off, and Sam knows she’s fighting back tears.
‘Hey,’ Sam says, turning around so he can look at her properly. ‘Listen to me. It’s not your fault, okay? You couldn't have known.’
‘Rationally, I know that.’ Charlie puts her hand on his arm. ‘But thanks for trying to make me feel better. I appreciate it. It’s right around the corner,’ she says to Dean. ‘I think you’d better park here.’
They park the car in an empty plot and proceed on foot. ‘If he’s home,’ Charlie whispers, ‘I’ll ring the doorbell and distract him. There’s an entrance into the basement from the back that you guys can break in through.’
They turn the corner to find a large two-story house. It’s clearly seen better days. The paint is peeling and the plants in the garden are unkempt and withering. ‘The house is Lily’s too,’ she whispers to them. ‘She moved in with me a couple months ago. The asshat couldn’t care less where she lives.’
Sam holds back a chuckle at her words, and Dean winks at him. If nothing else, Dean and Charlie are going to get along fine.
‘I don’t think he’s home,’ Charlie says, pointing to an empty spot in front of the house. ‘His truck’s usually parked there.’
‘Let’s invite ourselves in through the back, then.’ Dean pulls out his little case of tools. Charlie looks at it, her brows arching. ‘You guys professional lock-pickers or something?’
‘Or something,’ Dean says with a grin.
The entrance to the basement clearly hasn't been used in a long time. It’s a slanted door built into the ground and locked with a rusted chain. Dean ignores the chain and works on the lock, hunching over the door.
‘So what’s your story?’ Charlie asks in a low voice as they watch Dean work. ‘You said you were having visions?’
‘Just the dreams,’ Sam says. ‘They felt more like visions though. I can’t explain it.’
Charlie nods. ‘That’s kinda how it started with Lily, too.’
‘Started? There was more?’
‘Yeah. Weird stuff. She-I don’t know, exactly. She started thinking she might have some weird powers or something.’
‘Powers? What kind of powers?’
Charlie swallows. ‘The kind that would make her kill,’ she says in a whisper. At the look on Sam’s face, she continues quickly. ‘She’s not-she’s not a murderer, Sam. She just-we were both just trying to make sense of what was happening to her.’
‘Got it,’ Dean says just then. ‘If you two are done standing there and letting me do all the work, shall we go in?’
Sam rolls his eyes. ‘Lead on, Sherlock.’
After Dean and Charlie have gone in, Sam pulls the doors shut from the inside. If anyone takes a close look they'll see that the lock and chain have been removed, but he hopes that nothing will be noticeable from a distance if the door isn't gaping open.
‘Good thinking,’ Dean whispers, nudging his shoulder, and Sam glows a little from the praise.
There isn't much light in the basement, although there are windows on the top near the ceiling that let in a little sunlight. They have their flashlights too. Sam puts his on and shines it in the corner opposite the windows, where the light doesn't quite reach. The entire basement is piled high with boxes.
‘If there’s a hidden passage,’ Charlie says, ‘there must be some indication of where it is. Look for a spot where the dust is messed up or gone.’
They try following her advice, but the thick layer of dust on the floor already has a lot of footprints, no doubt from when the cops searched the place.
‘Look for any signs that some of the stuff has been moved,’ Dean says.
‘Over here,’ Sam calls. ‘I think these boxes might have been moved recently. I need more light.’
Dean and Charlie come over, and with the light of all three flashlights, they can see scuff marks in the dirt on the floor.
‘Wait.’ Charlie puts her hand on Sam’s arm. ‘Listen.’
Sam hears it too: the sound of a car engine.
‘He’s back,’ Charlie says in a whisper.
They hear the car door slam.
‘Don’t panic,’ Sam whispers back, clutching her arm. ‘It’s three against one.’
‘He might be possessed,’ Dean says. ‘You guys keep looking. I’ll go out and distract him.’
‘Dean, no,’ Sam says in a furious whisper. ‘We have to stick together.’
‘And what if he finds us down here and locks us all up? Sticking together won’t do us any good then.’
‘Maybe I should go out and distract him,’ Charlie offers.
‘No,’ Dean says immediately. ‘I’m not going to risk you. Besides, we’ve dealt with demons before. You haven’t.’
‘You got the holy water on you?’ Sam asks.
Dean pats his pocket. ‘Right here, Sammy. Not to worry. Keep looking, okay?’
Sam nods, his throat tightening. ‘Be careful.’
‘I’m always careful.’ Dean pulls Sam into a brief, tight hug. ‘Back before you know it.’ He claps Charlie on the back and heads off without another word.
‘Help me with the boxes,’ Charlie says, already tugging at them.
Tearing his mind off Dean, Sam starts pulling boxes away from the wall. It only takes a minute or two before they clear a space in front of the wall.
A space that has absolutely nothing on it except more peeling paint. ‘There’s no door here,’ Sam says, frustrated.
‘There has to be.’ Charlie steps up to the wall and runs her hands over the concrete. ‘There’s-’ she starts, but before she can continue, the floor beneath her gives way and she drops with a startled cry.
‘Charlie!’
‘I guess I found the door,’ she calls up in a low voice.
‘You okay?’
‘I think I twisted my ankle a little, but I’m fine. It’s a pretty short drop.’
Sam shines his flashlight on the hole in the floor and sees that it’s a trapdoor that the boxes were hiding. No wonder the cops had found nothing. They hadn't known what they were looking for.
Holding his flashlight in his mouth, he climbs down the rusted rungs set along the side of the wall. It’s not a far climb at all, and he guesses that the hole is no more than ten feet deep.
‘Sam!’ He hears a very welcome voice when he drops down to the floor.
‘Lily!’ She looks even worse than she did in his last dream, her hair hanging around her face in grimy strands and a new bruise across her cheek. ‘The bastard hit you again,’ Sam says, rage rising up inside him.
He senses that Lily is not really the hugging kind, but Sam is, so he gives her a quick hug and releases her from his arms. ‘I’m so glad to see you.’
‘Me too.’ She’s clutching Charlie’s hand tightly, and she gives Sam a watery smile. ‘I wasn't even sure if you were real.’
‘I wasn't sure you were real either, but I had to come and see for myself.’
‘Well, isn't this touching,’ a voice sneers from above their heads.
Sam looks up to see a swarthy, unshaven man grinning down at them from the trapdoor.
Charlie immediately puts herself in front of Lily. ‘You’re going to jail for this, you bastard.’
‘I don’t think so, pretty girl,’ the man says. He looks at Sam. ‘Sam Winchester, I presume.’
‘How do you know my name?’
‘Your friend up there’s a real talker.’ The man laughs. ‘At least he was before I bashed his brains in.’ He looks at Charlie. ‘So, you thought you'd bring a couple of fags to help you get your little girlfriend out? Wrong move, dyke.’ He pulls out a small pistol and points it at her. ‘See, I need these two brats, but I don't need you. Just like I didn't need that kid I just wasted.’
‘Get away from the door!’ Sam pulls Lily and Charlie further into the passage. They're all on their knees now, the cold stone floor above their heads.
His heart is pounding so loudly that he can’t think, an unending chorus of DeanDeanDean running through his head. ‘Stay away from the door,’ he manages to say. ‘If he comes down here, we can take him.’
Joe Baker doesn't seem to care much either way. He fires a shot into the well, making them all jump. ‘You’ll have to come out of there sometime,’ he says as a parting shot. ‘And when you do, I’ll be waiting.’ The door slams shut, leaving them in darkness.
Sam and Charlie switch their flashlights on, pointing them at the low ceiling to spread the light as much as possible. ‘You keep yours on,’ Sam says, switching his light off. ‘We may need to save our batteries.’
‘Was he talking about Dean?’ Lily asks, her voice shaky.
‘Yeah,’ Sam says. His eyes are stinging.
‘There’s no reception down here,’ Charlie says, checking her phone. She crawls closer to Lily, slipping her hand into her girlfriend’s.
‘I know you’re worried about Dean,’ Lily says, looking at Sam. ‘I know there isn't much I can say to make you feel better, but there’s this. Joe lies about stuff all the time. He’s been taunting me saying he killed Charlie.’
‘So there’s hope for Dean?’ Charlie says.
‘I don’t know, but maybe. Don't give up yet, Sam. Hope is everything. It’s what’s gotten me through the last few days. I kept telling myself that I was going to get out of here. And then when he told me that Charlie was dead, I told myself it couldn't be true. That even if it was, I would get out of here and kill him for hurting her.’
Sam just nods. It feels as though someone’s stabbed him in the heart with an ice-pick, and the pain won’t go away until he finds Dean again.
‘So how long have you guys been together?’ Charlie asks, putting a hand on his arm.
Sam gives her a small smile, grateful that she’s trying to keep him occupied. ‘Uh, I wouldn't say we’re together, exactly. I kissed him and he-uh, he kinda punched me.’
‘He did?’ Charlie says in surprise. ‘But he-I don’t know, he just seems so protective of you.’
‘Yeah. We, uh, we go way back. It’s like he’s been looking out for me my whole life, you know?’ Sam doesn't know if he should say anything about Dean being his brother. He’s not sure that anyone else would ever understand.
‘Still, I don't see why he had to punch you.’ Charlie glances at Lily with a worried expression. Lily’s leaning back against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest, her eyes closed.
Sam nods to show her that he understands her worry, not wanting to say anything out loud. Lily probably needs a hospital after being starved and dehydrated for days.
‘It’s kind of complicated,’ he says in response to Charlie’s comment. ‘We were raised by hunters. My dad’s one. He found out a few days back that I may have demon blood in me. He thinks it has something to do with why my mom was killed when I was a baby. They, uh, my dad and a hunting buddy of his. They’ve gone to look for answers. Dean was supposed to make sure I didn't do anything… evil, I guess. When I kissed him, he thought it was the demon blood that was making me hit on him.’
Charlie nods as though she understands all too well what Sam is saying. ‘I guess Lily is the same, which is why she’s been able to communicate with you and the others through her dreams.’
‘Others? What others?’
‘She didn't tell you? There are at least two more, apart from you. She was communicating with them through her dreams even before she got trapped in here. She told me about them. One was a girl named Ava. The other was some dude whose name I can’t remember right now. Jacob, Joseph, something like that.’
‘Jake,’ Lily says, opening her eyes. She runs her tongue over her lips. ‘Don’t suppose you guys have a six-pack hidden somewhere?’
‘Sorry,’ Charlie says. ‘I should've thought to bring some water.’
‘We’ll get out of here,’ Sam says. ‘Just hang on. If Dean’s okay, he’ll have us out of here soon.’
‘Shouldn’t we try to do something, though?’ Charlie asks. Her unspoken words hang in the air. If Dean’s dead, then no one’s coming to help them.
‘Joe said he needs Lily and me,’ Sam says, trying desperately to keep his mind off Dean. His imagination doesn't help, supplying him with dozens of images of Dean being killed in various ways. ‘Maybe I should just go out there and try to talk to him.’
‘He said he needs you alive. That doesn't mean he can’t hurt you,’ Charlie points out.
Sam falls back into silence. There’s really nothing more to say.
‘Maybe I should try Jake or Ava,’ Lily says.
‘Do they know you're in here?’
‘I’m not sure. You’re the only one I can remember dreaming of since I’ve been trapped here. I still don’t really have the hang of it. Sometimes I can’t even remember my own name when I’m dreaming, and there are times when I wake up and don’t remember what I was dreaming of.’ She looks at Charlie. ‘You remember the first time I saw Ava? I think we scared the hell out of each other. I dreamed I was right in her bedroom. That was one of the dreams I remembered as soon as I woke up.’
‘How do you do that? Get into someone’s dream?’ Sam asks.
‘I don’t think I can get into just anyone’s dreams, and I can’t really control it. I can’t get into Charlie’s dreams. We’ve tried. I think it’s just us ‘special children,’ you know?’
‘Special children?’
‘Jake uses the phrase,’ Lily says. ‘He says he met someone who told him there’s a whole bunch of us with special powers or something.’
‘It was so weird when you showed up at my door,’ Charlie says. ‘It was like I knew others like Lily existed, but I wasn't sure if they were all just in her dreams. And then there you were.’
‘I told you they were real,’ Lily says, and her tone tells Sam that it’s an old argument between them.
‘So what’s Dean’s story?’ Lily asks him. ‘How were you both in the same dream? I’m assuming you both have the powers? Although that would be weird, because Dean’s older than the rest of us, isn’t he?’
‘Uh, no, he doesn’t. Dean took some stuff so he could get into my dream. It’s called dream walking.’
‘That is so cool. I’m trying that too,’ Charlie says immediately.
Before anyone can respond, they hear the trap door opening.
‘What should we do?’ Charlie whispers. ‘Try to take him down?’
‘Hello?’ a voice calls. It’s not Joe Baker. ‘Anyone down here? Lily?’
‘I know that voice,’ Lily says. She crawls out of the passage and into the well. ‘Jake!’
They hear Jake let out a whoop. ‘I knew you were real!’
Sam and Charlie crawl out into the well too, and see that Jake is giving Lily a hand up.
‘Did you see anyone else up there?’ Sam calls up, unable to help himself. His anxiety for Dean is like bile in his throat now, and he’s afraid he’ll throw up if he doesn't find Dean.
‘You Sam?’ Jake asks. ‘There’s a guy outside who told me you were in here. He’s hurt pretty bad, from the looks of it.’
‘Dean.’ Sam’s heart clenches. Dean’s alive. Dean’s hurt.
He makes sure Charlie is also out of the passage safely before he’s up and running for the steps. He doesn't pause to look around the house, but runs straight for the door.
Dean’s sitting on the sidewalk outside. One side of his head is covered in blood, and he’s resting his head in one shaking hand.
‘Dean. Dean.’ Sam falls to his knees next to him, pulling his hand away. He sucks in his breath. There’s a deep gash just above Dean’s left temple, and it’s bleeding freely.
‘Hey, baby boy.’ Dean’s voice is slurred. His hands reach out to pat Sam’s face. ‘You’re okay? Are you okay?’
‘I think you’re concussed,’ Sam says, holding on to Dean’s shoulders.
‘I’m fine.’ Dean rests one bloody hand against Sam’s cheek, thumb running over his cheekbone. ‘You’re okay,’ he says again. He wraps his hand around the nape of Sam’s neck and pulls him down, pressing his lips to Sam’s temple. Sam lets him, feeling as though he’s about to collapse from relief himself.
‘I’m good, Dean.’ Sam lets Dean fall against him, wrapping his arms around his brother. Dean feels wonderfully solid and warm against him. It isn't until he feels wetness in Dean’s hair that Sam realizes he’s crying. ‘Gonna fix you up,’ he promises.
‘Watch out for him,’ Dean says suddenly. Sam looks up to find Dean’s gaze on Jake, who’s helping Lily out of the house. ‘He’s with Baker.’
‘What? You sure?’
‘He came up behind me when I was about to get the sleazebag,’ Dean says.
‘He’s the one who hurt you? Jake?’
‘He said it was a mistake.’ Dean’s voice is low, and Sam’s not sure if it’s because he’s badly hurt or because he doesn't want Jake to hear him. ‘I’m not sure I believe him. Baker took off when Jake brought me down.’
‘I’m going to break his face,’ Sam says, starting to get up, but Dean pulls him back down.
‘Don’t say anything yet,’ he murmurs. ‘We gotta see what game he’s playing.’
‘He’s not going to get away with what he did to you,’ Sam vows. ‘But yeah, let’s see to you first. I think you're gonna need stitches.’
-
‘How is she?’ Sam asks when Charlie comes out of Lily’s hospital room.
‘Sleeping it off,’ Charlie sits down next to him and runs her hands wearily through her hair. ‘They gave her a mild sedative and she’s on an IV. She’s going to be okay. How’s Dean?’ She nods toward Dean, who’s dozing in the chair next to Sam’s.
‘He’s good too. Needed twelve stitches, but they don't think he has a concussion. Gonna keep an eye on him just in case.’
‘I heard that,’ Dean says groggily, opening his eyes. ‘Hey, Charlie.’
‘Hey, Dean.’ She smiles warmly at him. ‘Why don't you go sleep in an actual bed, huh? We can talk when you and Lily have rested.’ She turns to Sam and hands him a bunch of keys. ‘Here, you can use the apartment.’
‘You sure? We can get a motel room.’
‘Nonsense.’ She pushes the keys into his hand. ‘Guest room’s all set up.’
‘What about you?’
‘I’m going to stay for a bit. Don't want to leave her just yet.’
Sam gives her a hug. ‘I understand.’
She holds him tight for a moment before pulling back. ‘Thank you. Both of you.’
-
‘You hungry?’ Sam asks, looking into the guest room.
Dean’s leaning back against the pillows, legs stretched out. ‘Nah. Probably puke it all back up.’ He opens his eyes. ‘You get something to eat?’
‘I’m good.’ Sam doesn't think he can stomach anything either.
Dean studies his face. ‘You sure?’
‘I’m not the one who got his head cracked open, so yeah.’
Dean pats the bed next to him. ‘Come here.’
Sam goes obediently, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
‘Not like that,’ Dean says, tugging at his sleeve. ‘Lie down.’
‘I can take the sofa.’
‘Bed’s big enough for two, Sammy. Don’t worry, I won’t molest you in your sleep.’
Sam pulls away, his face flushing. ‘That’s not funny.’
‘It is. Just a bit,’ Dean says with a grin.
‘You’re high on your pain meds.’
‘And you're just being stupid. Just lie down, will you?’
‘You’ll wake up and think I snuck into your bed when you were asleep.’
‘Then I’ll just kick your ass out of bed, and everything’ll be the same as usual.’
Sam sighs, too tired to argue. ‘Fine. But move over. I’m not snuggling.’
‘Aww, Sammy. And I thought you liked me that way.’
‘Dean, I swear, if you don't shut the fuck up, I’ll smother you in your sleep.’
‘No, you won’t.’ Dean ruffles Sam’s hair. ‘You love me.’
Before Sam can respond, Dean’s out like a light. Sam looks at him and gently pulls away a strand of hair that’s sticking to his bandage. Then he rests his head on the pillow next to Dean’s and lets himself sink into sleep.
-
He dreams that he’s in the hospital, sitting next to Lily’s bed.
‘You summon me or something?’ he asks.
Lily lets out a laugh. ‘Nah. I think you’re getting good at dream walking by yourself.’
‘You feeling better?’
‘Much.’ Lily smiles. ‘Charlie’s been so good to me. Dean being good to you?’
‘I think I’m the one who’s supposed to be taking care of him,’ Sam says, smiling back.
‘You know what I mean. You were so scared before we got out. I know how you feel, remember? I was locked up there thinking Charlie might be dead.’
‘I remember,’ Sam says.
‘We’ll take care of them,’ Lily says, and it sounds like a promise.
-
He wakes with his legs tangled with Dean’s, and Dean propped up on an elbow, his fingers playing with Sam’s hair.
‘Morning, princess.’
‘Dean, what're you doing?’ Sam asks, still half-asleep.
‘Keeping the sunlight off your delicate face.’ Dean makes a show of cupping his hand over Sam’s face, shielding it from the morning light.
Sam bats his hand away. ‘Very funny.’ He untangles himself from Dean, feeling horribly self-conscious, and gets up. ‘You feel up to showering?’
‘Why, you wanna join me?’ Dean wiggles his eyebrows.
‘Seriously, what the hell has gotten into you?’
‘I thought something from hell had gotten into you?’ Dean says with a straight face.
Sam pummels him in the chest with a pillow, mindful of his bandage, and goes off in search of breakfast with Dean’s laughter following him into the corridor.
-
He finds eggs and cheese in the fridge and a fresh loaf on the counter and makes a mental note of the stuff he needs to replace as he breaks eggs into a pan. He makes the eggs the way Dean likes them, the yolks broken in the pan and cooked until they aren't runny any more.
Dean comes in just as the coffee is done. He takes an appreciative whiff. ‘My kingdom for a coffee,’ he says.
‘A simple ‘please’ would be enough.’ Sam sets a mug down in front of him and goes back to making toast.
‘You pissed off at me?’ Dean asks after he’s taken a sip. ‘I was just messing with you, Sammy.’
‘Don’t call me Sammy,’ Sam says automatically.
Dean doesn't seem to have the patience to deal with Sam’s annoyance, and he answers tersely. ‘Fine. Sam. Where the hell did that Jake guy disappear to?’
Sam shrugs. ‘I dunno. He took off when we got to the hospital. But Lily can probably track him down easily enough. I think he knows something we don’t. Lily said he referred to us as ‘special children’.’
‘That doesn't sound creepy and perverted at all.’
‘He told her he met someone who knows something. Maybe a demon. Maybe even the demon.’
‘The one who killed Mom.’
‘Yeah.’ Sam sets their plates on the table and sits across from Dean. ‘We need to tell Dad.’
‘I’ll head out soon.’
Sam doesn't miss that Dean hasn't said ‘we’. ‘You okay to drive?’
‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Dean focuses his attention on devouring his eggs, and suddenly Sam knows that he doesn't want Dean to leave this way, when things are so strained between them. It was only minutes ago that Dean had been teasing him about showering together.
‘Hey,’ he says, nudging Dean’s foot with his own. ‘I’m sorry.’
Dean doesn't look up. ‘What for?’
‘For just-I don’t know. Everything. Putting you on the spot. Making you face Dad.’
‘You’re not making me do anything, and you don't have to be sorry.’
There’s a bit of a silence, in which Sam actually appreciates that Dean’s not looking at him because he can take the time to look at Dean. ‘You washed your hair,’ he says in surprise.
‘So?’
‘How’d you do that without getting your bandage wet?’
‘I’m a freaking genius, that’s how.’ Dean looks up and gives him a quick grin, and Sam melts a little with relief.
Sam gets himself a second cup of coffee while Dean’s still finishing his first. He’s about to sit down when Dean pushes his plate away and holds out his hand. Surprised, Sam puts his own into it without thinking.
Dean tugs him close. ‘We good?’
‘Yeah, Dean. ’Course we are.’
‘Then come sit.’ He puts his hands on Sam’s waist and guides him closer.
‘You mean…’
‘Yeah. Sit on my lap.’
‘Dean.’ Sam’s heart is pounding. ‘You’re hurt.’
‘I promise you I’m not hurting right now. I just want you over here.’
Sam goes with it, straddling Dean’s thighs. Dean keeps his hands lightly on Sam’s waist. ‘I think we have some unfinished business, don't you?’ he says.
‘Like what?’ Sam says, his voice barely rising above a whisper.
Dean presses him closer, his hands sliding up Sam’s back, slow and gentle, stopping at Sam’s shoulders and massaging at the knots there.
‘Mm.’ Sam drops his forehead to Dean’s, careful not to jostle his bandage.
‘Feel good?’
‘Feels great.’
‘You’re so tense,’ Dean murmurs, still kneading Sam’s shoulders with strong, steady hands. ‘It’s just me, Sam. You don't have to be nervous around me.’
‘I know.’ Sam’s eyes are closed, his senses focused on Dean’s hands, his voice. He links his hands at the base of Dean’s neck, fingers stroking into the soft, thick hair at Dean’s nape.
‘You’re adorable,’ Dean says with a soft chuckle, brushing his lips across the bridge of Sam’s nose. ‘You started this, and now you're too shy to look at me?’
‘Hey,’ Sam protests, opening his eyes. ‘I am not shy.’
‘Then tell me,’ Dean says with a grin. ‘Tell me everything.’
‘Tell you what?’
‘Since when have you wanted to kiss me?’
‘Dean,’ Sam says, flushing.
‘Adorable,’ Dean says again, squeezing Sam’s shoulders. ‘Since when?’
‘You’ll laugh.’
‘I won’t, I swear. You can punch me in the face if I do. I give you permission.’
‘I think I've wanted to do it forever.’
‘That’s not a straight answer.’
‘Okay, then. Since I was twelve or so, I guess.’
Dean’s eyes widen. ‘Twelve?’
‘Yeah. I remember I-don’t you dare laugh at me, Dean-there was this one time I came home from school and you-you were making out with this girl on the couch.’
‘I remember.’
‘Yeah. She was on top of you and you had your hand down her shorts.’
‘Yeah. Like this.’ Dean’s hand slips down to the small of Sam’s back, fingertips easing under his jeans and sliding under the elastic band of his briefs. Sam sucks in a sharp breath. ‘This okay?’ Dean asks. ‘Am I-should I stop?’
‘No.’ Sam takes a noisy breath through his mouth, his lips apart. ‘I… I like your hand. There. Uh, you know.’
‘Go on. I had my hand in her shorts?’
‘Yeah,’ Sam says, swallowing. ‘The way you were kissing. Putting your tongues in each other’s mouths. I’d only seen that in movies.’
‘Mm-hm.’ Dean noses along the side of Sam’s face, nuzzling lightly against his cheek. Under Sam’s clothes, Dean’s fingertips caress his skin, not moving any lower.
‘I-I must’ve made a sound or something, because you stopped kissing and she lifted her head and saw me. She didn't freak out or anything. She just got up and straightened her top and smiled at me.’
‘She was pretty fucking cool,’ Dean agrees.
‘It was only later that I realized that it wasn't you I’d been jealous of.’
‘Wish I’d known,’ Dean says. His face is tilted up to Sam’s, so close that Sam’s bangs are brushing against his forehead. His fingers keep making lazy little circles just below the waistband of Sam’s briefs. ‘My little brother, lusting after me.’
Sam snorts. ‘You’d’ve freaked out.’
‘Tell me about the handcuffs,’ Dean says, changing the subject abruptly.
Sam gasps, and Dean smirks. ‘Didn’t think I’d noticed, did you? Thought you were being so clever.’ He nudges Sam’s head up, runs his nose down the column of Sam’s throat.
‘Dean.’ Sam’s clutching at his hair now, his breath reduced to a low, frantic rhythm.
‘Does it turn you on, little brother?’
‘Yes.’ Sam presses against Dean. ‘Dean. Fuck.’
‘Open your mouth,’ Dean orders gently.
Sam obeys instantly, mindless to everything but Dean. Dean’s finger slips into his mouth. Sam’s too unfocused to really suck on it but Dean doesn't seem to mind. He pets Sam’s tongue with his finger, getting it wet.
‘I’d ask you to go get the cuffs from the car,’ Dean says, ‘but I don’t think I could let you go anywhere right now.’ He nuzzles his way to Sam’s earlobe and nips it lightly with his teeth. ‘At least not until I’ve made you come.’
‘Dean,’ Sam says, his world narrowed to one word in such sharp focus that it’s almost painful to say it. His insides feel like they’re about to burst out of his skin.
‘Ssh,’ Dean murmurs, pressing his lips to Sam’s ear. ‘I’ve got you.’ He nudges Sam’s head back up. ‘Hey. Hey, sweetheart. Can you unbutton your jeans for me?’
Sam does it without thinking, his forehead pressed to Dean’s. They both look down as Sam pushes the hem of his t-shirt up and out of the way, and undoes the button. ‘Zipper too?’ he whispers.
‘Yeah. All the way, baby. Just like that.’ The V of Sam’s jeans falls open and Dean brings his knuckles against the front of Sam’s black underwear, rubbing against him. ‘This okay?’ he murmurs.
‘’S fucking awesome.’ Sam’s proud of himself for getting the words out. He’s surprised they actually sound somewhat like words.
Dean chuckles, a low, warming sound. He slides his finger back between Sam’s lips. ‘You ever had anything inside you?’ His other hand slides further down, cupping Sam’s ass and squeezing, leaving no doubt as to what he means.
‘Mm,’ Sam says around Dean’s finger.
‘That a yes?’ Dean withdraws his finger, tracing saliva over Sam’s lips, drawing the shape of his mouth.
‘Yeah,’ Sam says, hoarse.
‘You done this with another guy?’
‘Jesus, Dean. No. Of course not.’
‘With a girl?’
‘Just kissing.’
Dean relaxes, letting his finger slip back into Sam’s mouth. Sam’s too turned on to be annoyed at him and besides, his possessiveness is kind of hot. ‘Just you, then? Your fingers?’
‘Mmm.’
‘Anything else?’ Dean’s lips curve into a wicked smile when Sam flushes.
‘I won’t tell you that even with my dying breath.’
‘Aww, Sammy, you're no fun.’ Dean nips at Sam’s earlobe again. ‘I have my ways of making you talk, you know.’
‘I’ll never tell. Never.’ Sam gasps again when Dean lowers his wet finger to rub at Sam’s hole.
‘Yeah?’ Dean says, and Sam knows this is a different conversation, that Dean’s asking for permission.
‘Please,’ he begs, pushing back against Dean’s hand.
‘Fuck, Sam.’ Dean caresses his hole in tiny circles. ‘So fucking responsive. I wish you could see your eyes right now. It’s like you’re on every drug ever.’
‘Don’t need them.’ Sam lets out a moan as Dean’s fingertip slides into him. ‘Just you.’
‘You have me,’ Dean says like he’s making a promise. ‘Put your hands behind my neck. Imagine they're cuffed, okay?’
‘Yeah,’ Sam says, licking his dry lips. He links his fingers behind Dean’s neck, pressing his wrists together like they’re cuffed. Obeying Dean’s orders.
‘God, the things I wanna do to you.’ Dean’s other hand is back against Sam’s underwear, knuckles rubbing him through the thin cotton. ‘Tilt your head up.’ He nips at the soft skin of Sam’s throat, and then sucks in a bruise there. ‘Feel like marking you all over.’
Sam clutches at Dean’s hair, rocking between his hands. Dean’s finger is sliding in and out of him now in shallow thrusts. ‘Just like that,’ Dean encourages, kissing his way back to Sam’s ear. ‘You like that? Fucking yourself on my finger?’
‘You’re driving me crazy.’ The words come out as a rasp. Sam’s eyes are shut tight, his fingers clenched in Dean’s hair as he keeps rocking back and forth.
‘What d’you think you're doing to me?’ Dean sounds wrecked, and Sam opens his eyes to look down at his face. He looks wrecked too, his forehead beaded with sweat, the muscles in his arms taut and standing out.
‘Good,’ Sam says viciously. Dean’s his to break, to put together again. Sam pushes himself down on Dean’s finger until he’s impaled to the knuckle, letting out a sob of relief. Dean gets with the program and starts fingering him faster, his almost-dry finger moving ruthlessly in and out of Sam.
‘Just like that,’ Sam gasps out as Dean cups him through his underwear and squeezes.
‘Kiss me,’ Dean orders, and Sam’s mouth is on his in an instant, lips parting for Dean’s tongue. Dean stabs it into his mouth and Sam sucks on it like he’s starving for it. Which he is, in a way.
‘Can you come like this?’ Dean says into his mouth when they part for air. His hands haven't stopped moving, and Sam is having serious trouble thinking.
‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Just… just keep talking to me.’
Dean chuckles again, and Sam thinks it just might be the sexiest sound he’s ever heard. Working Sam with both his hands, he lays out a fantasy of stripping Sam bare and cuffing his hands and licking his ass, slapping it with his belt. ‘Gag you good and tight so you can’t make a sound,’ he promises, and it’s more than enough to tip Sam over the edge into sheer bliss. He pretty much screams into Dean’s mouth as Dean kisses him savagely through his orgasm, his capable hands never stopping what they’re doing to Sam’s body.
The kiss goes on long after Sam is wrung dry. Dean slides his finger carefully out of Sam’s hole and gives Sam’s lower lip a last gentle bite before he breaks the kiss. ‘Good?’ he asks, his gaze searching Sam’s face.
Sam cups Dean’s face in his hands and kisses him again, just a soft press of lips on lips. ‘Perfect.’ He’s still breathing as though he’s just run a mile.
‘Easy,’ Dean murmurs, rubbing his back. Sam curls against him, resting his cheek against Dean’s chest. Dean keeps rubbing his back, his other hand petting Sam’s hair.
‘You haven't come,’ Sam says after a minute, raising his head, his eyes wide.
Dean gives him a sheepish grin. ‘I kinda did.’
‘You-when?’
‘When you lost it and started kissing me.’
‘That’s.’ Sam stares down at him in awe. ‘Wow, Dean.’
‘Wow is about right.’ Dean brushes Sam’s hair out of his eyes, the gesture so tender after what they’ve just said and done that Sam closes his eyes for a moment, wanting to preserve it in his memory forever.
‘Guess we both need a shower now,’ Dean says with a laugh, wrapping his arms around Sam and squeezing him tight, and Sam’s sure that this is what happiness feels like.
-
They visit Lily and Charlie at the hospital, making a quick stop at the supermarket on the way. Sam buys eggs and other stuff to replace what they’ve used, and Dean gets some fruit to take to the hospital.
‘Wow, thanks, guys,’ Charlie says, taking the bag full of grapes, apples and pears from Sam.
‘Way better than flowers,’ Lily says approvingly, accepting a bunch of grapes and popping three into her mouth. She’s sitting up and looks bright and cheerful.
‘She hates flowers,’ Charlie says, rolling her eyes. She smiles at Sam. ‘You look happy.’
‘I am,’ Sam says, giving her a grin. ‘Thanks.’
‘And you look way more happy than you should,’ Lily says, looking at Dean. ‘Considering you're the walking wounded.’
Dean shrugs. ‘What can I say? I’m glad my boy here is fine, and you're out of that hell-hole. Any word about Jake or your uncle?’
‘The cops came by this morning,’ Charlie says. ‘They don't have anything on Joe yet.’
‘Jake’ll turn up, I guess.’ Lily doesn't sound too fazed by his absence.
‘You should be careful around him,’ Dean says seriously. ‘Don’t trust him.’
‘I’m not planning on it,’ Lily assures him. ‘But he has answers I need.’ She looks at Sam. ‘Answers we both need.’
Sam nods. ‘I want to meet Ava too. Maybe if we all figure out what we have in common, we can beat this thing.’
Charlie and Lily exchange a glance, as though they've talked about this. ‘The guest room’s yours as long as you want it, Sam,’ Lily says. ‘And you, Dean.’
‘Thank you,’ Sam says, genuinely moved. ‘I think-I think I might take you up on that offer.’
‘What?’ Dean looks surprised.
‘Joe Baker knew my name, Dean. He said you told him, but I’m guessing he was lying?’
‘I didn’t exactly get the chance to chat with him. Jake got me before I could do anything.’
‘I thought as much. Baker knows stuff, Dean. I can’t-I can’t just walk away while he’s still out there.’
‘I guess your mind’s made up, then,’ Dean says shortly, getting to his feet. ‘I’ll get us some lunch.’ He leaves the room without looking at Sam.
-
That evening, after Lily is discharged from the hospital, Dean drives them all back to the apartment, Leaving the girls to rest in their bedroom, Sam and Dean go back to the guest room.
‘Let me change your bandage,’ Sam says.
Dean makes a sound of assent and sits on the edge of the bed, watching Sam pull out the extra dressings he'd picked up at the hospital. Sam gently peels off the gauze covering Dean’s wound. ‘It looks good,’ he says, dabbing ointment on it and replacing the bandage with a fresh one. ‘You should rest for a bit. You look beat. I’ll go get us some food.’
Dean catches hold of his wrist. ‘Don’t leave the apartment.’
‘Dean, I won’t go far.’
‘Just-listen to me on this. Don’t leave, okay?’
‘I guess I can order takeout,’ Sam says, and it's only then that Dean relaxes his hold.
‘Good,’ he says sleepily.
‘I’ll wake you in a while,’ Sam says, leaning down to kiss his forehead. ‘Sleep.’
-
Sam keeps his word. He doesn't want to disturb the girls, so he looks around in the kitchen and finds some takeout menus. He chooses one for a Thai restaurant and orders both green and red curry and steamed rice and vegetables, and then cracks open one of the beers they’d bought that day and sits at the kitchen table.
It’s just past sundown and the orange glow of the sun is still on the horizon, bathing the kitchen in light. The ordinariness of things surprises Sam sometimes. The sun’s setting just as it does on any other day, as though his world hasn't just been shattered in both good and bad ways.
Suddenly, he feels that Dean is way too far away from him. He goes back into the bedroom to find Dean sound asleep, breathing noisily through his nose. Sam curls up next to him, sipping at his beer.
-
Dinner is a satisfying affair. Charlie compliments Sam on his food choices as though he were the chef, and Dean takes every opportunity to both steal food off Sam’s plate and feed him from his own, his fingers lingering at Sam’s lips. Sam doesn't even have to feel embarrassed at the open display of affection because Lily and Charlie are even worse than them, giving each other sips of wine and stealing kisses between bites of food.
After dessert-a tub of crème brûlée flavored ice-cream that Charlie digs out of the freezer and slices of cold apple and cheese, washed down with the rest of the wine-Dean gets to his feet. ‘I should be going. It’s a pretty long drive back.’
‘You’re leaving now?’ Charlie asks, sounding disappointed. ‘I thought you'd stay till the morning.’
‘People back home must be worried,’ Dean says. ‘And there are answers to be found, like you said. I gotta go talk to my dad.’ He glances at Sam.
‘Yeah,’ Sam says. ‘I’ll help you get your stuff.’
-
‘There are some extra dressings in the bag,’ Sam says, watching Dean put his few belongings into his duffel. ‘Change it when you get there, okay?’
‘You sure you don't wanna come with?’ Dean asks, zipping up his bag.
‘I’m not sure,’ Sam says honestly. ‘But I-I don’t know, Dean. If I go back and he locks me up I-I don’t know what I’ll do.’
‘I’ll look out for you. You know I will.’
Sam lets out a breath, sitting down at the edge of the bed. ‘Dean, I…’
‘No, I get it.’ Dean’s voice is soft. ‘You don’t trust me to disobey Dad’s orders and take your side.’ He puts his hand on top of Sam’s head in a brief caress. ‘Take care of yourself, Sammy.’
Then he’s gone and the room is instantly too quiet, too dark.
Sam keeps sitting for a minute, almost gasping for breath, his hands clutching the bed frame. Then he gets to his feet and goes out.
Charlie and Lily are at the door, obviously just having said goodbye to Dean.
‘I’ll be right back,’ he says.
‘Take your time,’ Charlie says, her eyes full of sympathy.
He finds Dean shutting the trunk. 'Hey,' Dean says. 'You okay?'
Sam considers saying he's fine, but then shakes his head.
'C'mere.' Dean opens his arms and Sam steps into them, burying his face in Dean's neck.
‘It's all right,’ Dean murmurs, holding him tight. 'You're going to be just fine.'
‘I need you.’ Sam’s voice is muffled against Dean’s skin.
‘I'm not leaving you, Sammy. I'll be back, okay? I promise.’
Sam lifts his head and pulls Dean to him, pressing their mouths together. Dean kisses back instantly, his hands cupping Sam’s face. ‘Thought you were going to leave,’ Sam says, his hands fisted into Dean’s shirt. ‘Thought you’d leave just like that, without-without even-’
‘Ssh,’ Dean says, pulling him close, his fingers running through Sam’s hair over and over. ‘I’m right here. And I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.’
It could've been fine, Sam thinks as he watches the Impala speed away from him.
It would all have been fine if he'd loved Dean just a little bit less.
-
Sam wakes up the next day and reaches for Dean before remembering that he’s back in Sioux Falls. ‘Happy birthday, big brother,’ he says out loud, and the bitter taste in his mouth is more than just morning breath.
He calls Dean after breakfast, using the landline because his phone is back at Bobby’s place. Dean doesn’t pick up, and Sam doesn’t leave a voicemail.
Lily has to go down to the station to make an official statement and insists that Charlie go to her classes, so Sam accompanies her.
‘You look like you're going to a funeral, if you don’t mind my saying so,’ Lily comments as they climb into her jeep.
Sam winces. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologize,’ Lily says, waving it away. ‘Charlie and I broke up once for like two weeks. It felt like a century. Worst time of my life.’
‘Even after what just happened to you?’
‘Even with that. But you and Dean haven’t broken up, right?’
Sam stares through the windshield at the traffic. ‘I don’t think so. But he-uh, he didn't say when he’d be back.’
‘He has things to do, right? There was a legit reason for him to leave?’
‘Yeah, I guess.’
‘Then I guess you can give him the benefit of the doubt.’
‘Still doesn’t make me feel less crappy,’ Sam says with a rueful smile.
‘We’ll pick up some more ice cream on the way back. It may not make you miss him less, but at least it’s better to be miserable with ice cream than without, right?’
Sam can’t argue with that.
-
As it turns out, Sam needn't have worried.
‘Looks like you won’t be needing the ice cream after all,’ Lily says with a smile as they pull onto her street. Sam follows her gaze and sees the Impala outside her building.
‘Dean!’ He’s out of the jeep before the engine stops running.
Dean’s at the trunk, just as he was when Sam had come downstairs the previous night, his heart in pieces.
‘Hey, Sammy. Miss me?’ Dean says with a grin. ‘Oof!’
Sam launches himself at Dean and hugs him tight. ‘You came back!’
‘’Course I did. I said I was going to, didn't I?’
‘I thought you might take days. Weeks. I-I called and you didn't pick up.’
‘Shit. I left my phone in the car. Sorry, Sam.’
‘It’s okay.’ Sam turns around as Lily passes them on her way up.
‘Take your time,’ she says with a grin. ‘We’ll see you inside, yeah?’
Sam waves to her and turns back to Dean. ‘What happened? Did you even get to Bobby’s place?’
‘Yeah.’ Dean scrubs a hand over his face. ‘Get in the car.’ Seeing the look on Sam’s face, he adds quickly, ‘Not taking you anywhere, Sammy. Just need to sit for a while, okay? I haven’t slept and I’ve been driving pretty much non-stop.’
They sit in the back seat, where Dean tells Sam his story. ‘Dad and Bobby had just gotten back when I arrived. As we thought, Dad was pretty livid that I’d left you with strangers. Gave me a real earful.’
Sam puts his hand into Dean’s and squeezes. He can’t even begin to count the number of sacrifices that Dean’s made for him, and he knows that going against Dad’s rules doesn't come easy to Dean at all.
‘I’ll tell you the details later,’ Dean says, yawning. ‘Sorry. Where was I? Yeah, they said they met the psychic. Missouri. She found this kid called Max and was able to figure some stuff out. She thinks that the thing that killed Mom is a demon called Azazel, who poisoned you and several other kids with his blood when you were babies. She doesn't know what for, but we can guess it’s nothing good.’
Although he’d been almost certain it was true, it still shocks Sam to get confirmation of the fact. ‘So I-I’m not going to turn into a demon or anything?’
‘Dad doesn't think so, but he says you need to go back. He says it’s not safe for you out here.’
‘Did you tell him about Lily and Jake and the others? That we have a real chance to find answers here?’
‘Yeah, but after what Jake did I don't know if we should go down that route, Sam.’
‘Lily said he met the guy who did this to us. He probably met this Azazel himself.’
‘We don’t know that,’ Dean says in a reasonable tone of voice, but Sam isn't really in a mood to be reasonable.
‘So-what? You expect me to just go back and give up on the one lead I have? To be locked up like some sort of monster while Dad continues on his crusade?’
‘I didn't say that.’
‘Then what are you saying?’
‘Listen, Sam. I need you to cut me a little slack here, okay? I’m on your side. That’s why I didn’t stay at Bobby’s. I told Dad you need time. I told him I’d look out for you, but he has to trust you to make your own decisions.’
‘I take it that didn't go very well.’
‘Yeah.’ Dean lets out a humorless laugh. ‘He said that if I left, I shouldn't come back.’
‘He didn't mean it,’ Sam says, squeezing Dean’s hand.
‘Yeah, I know,’ Dean says wearily. ‘He says stuff like that when he’s angry.’
‘So you just-what? Turned around and drove all the way back?’
‘Pretty much, yeah.’
‘You should've at least gotten some sleep,’ Sam scolds gently, lifting Dean’s hand to his mouth and kissing his palm. ‘Hey, where’s your ring?’
‘Oh. I forgot.’ Dean slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out the silver ring.
‘Why’d you take it off?’
‘I made a stop on the way.’ Dean holds out the ring, tilting it so it catches the light, and Sam sees a small row of symbols inscribed on the inside. ‘Found those in one of Bobby’s books a while ago. They’re sigils. For protection.’
‘You had those inscribed on your ring?’
‘I wanted you to have it, okay? As-I don’t know, I don’t know if they’ll help, but they’re supposed to protect the wearer from demons. I know you don’t think I look out for you the way I should, but-’
‘That’s not true,’ Sam cuts in. ‘You-you look out for me more than anyone else, Dean. You-fuck, you’re my whole world.’ He presses closer to Dean. ‘I can’t do this without you, you know that, you have to know that.’
‘Wear the ring,’ Dean says. ‘I won’t let you down, Sammy.’
Sam holds out his hand, and Dean slips the ring on to his finger. ‘Doesn’t mean we’re married, or anything.’ He pushes Sam back against the seat and flops over him. ‘Fuck, I’m so tired.’
Sam wraps his arms around Dean, holding him close against his chest. ‘We’ll go upstairs in a minute.’
‘Gotta get our own place,’ Dean says, butting his head against Sam’s chin, and Sam threads his fingers through Dean’s hair.
‘Happy twenty-first, Dean,’ Sam murmurs. Dean says something indistinct in response, already half-asleep, and Sam smiles against his hair, tightening his arms around Dean.
~end
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