We're All Winners In the End (But Only Some of Us Get Trophies)
Title: We're All Winners In the End (But Only Some of Us Get Trophies)
Author: Ellie (lyricsandhearts)
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or any of the characters in it, nor do I own the Oscars, Marc Jacobs, Jane Goodall, Chris Rock or any of the characters created by Scott Fellows or Dan Schneider.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jo/Camille, mentioned James/Carlos
Warnings: Femslash, slash, one curse word.
Summary: Camille is nominated for an Academy Award. So is Jo. They really don't expect to see each other on the red carpet.
Author Notes: I wrote this for madwomanpoems for the Trick or Drabble event over at bigtimerush. It's... Not a drabble. XD
"So, who are you wearing?"
It's a question. A simple question, really, though awkwardly phrased, that Camille has heard asked a thousand times on television.
She just isn't quite prepared for someone to be asking her.
"I- I-" she stutters, blanking, and oh no, blanking isn't good, but she manages to give a weak smile and a twirl and says, "Jacobs. Marc Jacobs. Isn't it pretty?"
Vanessa Guillermo smiles at her with approval, and Camille can't help but feel relieved that at least someone is on her side.
"It is!" Vanessa laughs. "And I'm sure you'll look even more radiant when you win that Oscar, eh?" She winks conspiratorially, like she and Camille are the only ones around, like Camille even has a chance of winning Best Actress when she's up against Carly Sampson and Jemma Everett-- Jemma Everett-- and this is only her second big film.
She blushes and says, "Well, uh, um, I mean, I'm not."
Vanessa laughs that sweet little laugh again.
"What movie are you up for, again? Swedish Fish, right?"
Taking a deep breath and glancing around (there are so many people here, so many people, so many famous people, so many talented people), Camille nods.
"Yeah," she gulps, taking deep calming breaths just like her yoga instructor suggested. Keep to how you rehearsed it. "I play Mildred Price, who, um... I..."
Camille's eyes, still roaming nervously around the red carpet, suddenly stop and bug quite out of her head.
It's not... It can't be...
"JO!" Camille yells suddenly, jumping up and down and waving her arms in a decidedly undignified manner while Vanessa Guillermo stares at her in shock. "JO TAYLOR, LOOK OVER HERE!"
Because a few feet away stands a stunning blonde girl-- woman-- in a silver gown with her hair tied back, who glances up at Camille with those gorgeous brown eyes and looks absolutely nonplussed for a split second.
Camille swears that everything in a ten-mile radius goes perfectly silent for that moment.
Then, Jo's eyes go wide and her face breaks into a wide grin as she screams, "CAMILLE!", runs toward her, and embraces her in a nearly bone-crushing hug.
"Oh my goodness, it's been so long--"
"We haven't even talked on the phone in months--"
"-- I didn't even know you had any roles--"
"-- I didn't even know you were coming--"
"--how have you been? How are James and Carlos doing?"
"--how are you and Kendall?"
They both stop dead, look each other in the eyes for a moment, and then burst into laughter.
"Kendall and I stopped dating months ago!" Jo says, trying to catch her breath, and Camille feels a thrill of joy that she attributes to not having seen Jo in person in years. "Did James and Carlos not say anything? I mean, we decided we'd be better off as friends..." She trails off, suddenly uncomfortable.
Camille sighs and shakes her head fondly.
"No, they've been too busy picking out curtains for their new apartment." Jo laughs and Camille continues, "I swear, ever since they moved in together, they're like the most sickeningly sweet newlyweds I've ever seen." Her smile fades. "Uh, I guess you know what happened with Logan..."
Jo blinks.
"I- You can't tell a guy in the second month of your relationship that you want to marry him." She shakes her head incredulously. "At least he left you a forwarding address?"
They stare at each other for a second and then collapse into fresh fits of giggles.
Vanessa Guillermo clears her throat, and suddenly Camille realizes that she and Jo are probably on live television right now.
Oops.
Undoubtedly the exact same shade of red as her dress, Camille turns back to Vanessa and says lamely, "This is Jo."
Jo waves, smiling brightly. She wears an expression that looks like the epitome of confidence and ease (although Camille remembers this expression and knows better than that; this is Jo's "I'm-dying-inside-but-pretending-to-be-calm-and-collected-and-you-can't-prove-I'm-not" expression. It has been Jo's default since the first day Camille met her).
"Of course!" Vanessa smiles at Jo, evidently unphased by this turn of events. "I see you two are old friends?"
"Yeah!" says Jo, and Camille remembers how Jo can make any situation seem a hundred times less awkward than it is. "We both lived at the Palmwoods for a while." She puts a hand on Camille's shoulder.
Camille closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"The Palmwoods! Really." Vanessa says it like it's the most fascinating thing she's ever heard. There are a few more minutes of moderately awkward conversation with a lot of nodding and fake laughing before Vanessa finally turns them loose with a hug and a cheery, "Good luck!" to both.
"I'm so sorry," Camille squeaks as soon as they're far enough away from any cameras. "I didn't mean to embarrass you like that on TV, I just, I mean, it's been years and I just really missed you and you were right there and--"
"Shh, Cami," Jo laughs. "It's fine. I missed you too!" She grins again, and this time it's completely real. "We have so much to catch up on! How have you been? What are you up for? And why haven't I heard about it?"
They're smiling even more now, walking down the red carpet with their hands brushing together every so often, and Camille hasn't truly been this happy in years.
*
They sit by each other through the entire event, and Camille feels calmer than she has in weeks.
Of course, she doesn't know if she can say the same for Jo, who is fidgeting and squirming beside her like her dress is the most uncomfortable thing she has ever worn (which it probably is, but Camille knows that the dress isn't the problem).
"You okay?" she whispers right as the lights start to go down.
Jo simply nods.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Eighty-Sixth Annual Academy Awards!" says Dak Zevon as the curtain opens, and he's all charm and smiles and charisma: the perfect host for the Oscars. He says some other things, maybe tells a few jokes, but Camille can't be bothered to pay attention; she's far too worried about Jo, who is staring wide-eyed at nothing in particular, running a hand over her arm absentmindedly.
"Don't worry," Camille says, gently placing her right hand over Jo's, which is resting on the armrest between them. "You're going to win. I know you are."
"You haven't even seen my movie," she says slowly, but removes her other hand from her arm and sets it atop Camille's (and with a jolt, Camille realizes that the ring Jo has always worn on her right hand is gone).
"Yeah, but I've seen you act," she says, blocking out this new piece of information. It couldn't have been a purity ring, she thinks, because she has always assumed that was what it was, it's just a coincidence, and if it was, maybe it was just some teenage phase. "I mean, it was four years ago, but I don't suppose you've gotten anything but better since then." They smile encouragingly at each other, and Camille feels that thrill again. This time, it worries her a little bit, but she can't tell why.
Before she knows it, Jennifer Two (now apparently known as Jennifer Mary Nash III; when did she get famous enough to present awards? And to have Roman numerals in her name, for that matter?) is presenting the nominees for Best Supporting Actress. She looks over to Jo to reassure her and finds her sitting deathly still with her eyes closed.
"Anna Padarcy, in The Last Narwhal."
"Jo?" she whispers.
No answer.
"Lisa Zeemo, in North."
She gives Jo's hand a squeeze; still no response.
"Catrina Valentine, in Into the Shade. Jo Taylor, in Gambling Man."
Jo suddenly squeezes Camille's hand back, seemingly putting every ounce of strength she has into it.
Camille doesn't mind all that much.
"Debra Finch, in Yosemite Falls."
"Oh no oh no oh no," Jo mutters under her breath, "no, no, no..."
Camille's heart is racing. She doesn't know why, it's not like this is her nomination, her win...
A moment of unbearable silence.
"And the Ocar goes to..."
Come on come on come on oh screw you, Jennifer Two, come on-
"Jo Taylor!"
And then there's clapping, lots of clapping, but it doesn't really register for Camille because oh my goodness Jo just won an Oscar oh my goodness this is actually happening this is the greatest thing ever and Jo is hugging her and running up to the stage and giving a speech because she won an Oscar, and Camille can't do anything beyond sit back down in stunned silence, grinning like an idiot.
"-- and I'd like to thank my family," Jo is saying through her tears, "and God, who has given me this opportunity, and my friends, especially Camille Baker--" she points out to Camille in the audience, and Camille's eyes widen in shock as the camera pans out to her, to capture her reaction for the world to see-- "who is actually up for Best Leading Actress tonight, so I'm wishing her lots and lots of luck, and I-" She pauses, shaking her head, unable to find words. "I just- thank you. This is such an honor." She wipes her eyes, bows gracefully, and walks off stage, award in hand.
Camille claps so hard her hands will probably hurt for hours, and she has never been more proud in her life.
*
When Jo comes back to her seat, she can't stop grinning. It's like her smile has been set to "permanent", really. Not that Camille has any room to talk, though, seeing as she can't stop smiling either.
The other awards come and go: Supporting Actor (Donovan Jeffries, It's Sort Of An Amusing Tale), Animated Feature (North), Adapted Screenplay (Monkeying Around: The Jane Goodall Story), and Camille becomes more and more anxious with each passing acceptance speech. She must look like it, too, because Jo turns to her in the middle of a skit involving Chris Rock and Dak Zevon and some sort of large umbrella and asks, "Hey, you doing okay?"
Camille nods.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm fine. Just a little nervous," she lies easily. Honestly, she might pass out right there at the table, but she reasons with herself that she just has to make it a few more minutes until they announce Leading Actress.
Just a few more minutes.
Actually, thirty minutes.
And Camille feels like she's about to explode, perhaps just keel over and die, when Wendy Jensen comes out to present the award.
Wendy Jensen, respected actress, winner of four Academy Awards.
Well, damn.
"I am here tonight," Wendy says in her high, elegant voice, smiling softly, "to present the award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role, an award I have been lucky enough to receive in the past."
As she continues to speak about what an honor it is to win and how beautiful and talented all five nominees are, Camille begins to feel sick to her stomach. How could she ever even think she was talented enough to win? How did she even get nominated in the first place?
She notices that Jo is sitting up, staring at the stage in rapt attention. She has her fingers crossed.
"The nominees are: Jemma Everett, in Safehouse."
Oh well, maybe next year.
"Carly Sampson, in Locked Away."
Maybe she'll just become a musician.
"Camille Baker, in Swedish Fish."
She flinches as her name is called and a camera is turned toward her, showing her terrified face on the screen in front of everyone. She takes a deep breath and puts on a calmer expression.
"Francine Lowell, in Miniature Elephants."
She wonders vaguely if Big Time Rush could use a tambourine player.
"Chantelle Denoir, in Maybe Someday."
Jo grabs her hand, glancing at her encouragingly.
"And the winner is..."
She could probably stay an actress if she found a few good roles in a row and simply refused to take no for an answer. Isn't that what she used to do?
"Camille Baker."
Oh well, there's always--
Wait.
What?
She can see herself onscreen as shocked realization dawns on her face, and the entire room bursts into laughter and thunderous applause. Jo is squealing and pulling her up and hugging her and it finally sinks into Camille's mind that she just won the award for Best Actress, and she starts jumping up and down and screaming and crying hysterically, and Jo is right there, thrilled for her, so Camille does the only thing that makes sense: she grabs Jo by the shoulders and kisses her square on the mouth. Jo kisses her back automatically, and for a few seconds they just stand together, kissing in the stunned silence of the theater.
Camille doesn't exactly realize what she's done for a few moments, but the second she does, she jumps away from Jo, eyes wide.
"Wh-- it-- I--" she says, always a model of flawless eloquence.
Jo stares back, equally shocked, until she slowly begins to smile. Looking straight at Camille, she laughs and cries, "What are you waiting for? Go get your Academy Award!"
The crowd actually cheers.
Camille hugs her again, sobbing, and runs up to the stage.
"I don't know what to say," she says in her speech, shaking and looking right at Jo, who smiles back and mouths, So proud of you, through her own tears. "I honestly think this is the best day of my life."
It really, really is.
Author: Ellie (lyricsandhearts)
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or any of the characters in it, nor do I own the Oscars, Marc Jacobs, Jane Goodall, Chris Rock or any of the characters created by Scott Fellows or Dan Schneider.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jo/Camille, mentioned James/Carlos
Warnings: Femslash, slash, one curse word.
Summary: Camille is nominated for an Academy Award. So is Jo. They really don't expect to see each other on the red carpet.
Author Notes: I wrote this for madwomanpoems for the Trick or Drabble event over at bigtimerush. It's... Not a drabble. XD
"So, who are you wearing?"
It's a question. A simple question, really, though awkwardly phrased, that Camille has heard asked a thousand times on television.
She just isn't quite prepared for someone to be asking her.
"I- I-" she stutters, blanking, and oh no, blanking isn't good, but she manages to give a weak smile and a twirl and says, "Jacobs. Marc Jacobs. Isn't it pretty?"
Vanessa Guillermo smiles at her with approval, and Camille can't help but feel relieved that at least someone is on her side.
"It is!" Vanessa laughs. "And I'm sure you'll look even more radiant when you win that Oscar, eh?" She winks conspiratorially, like she and Camille are the only ones around, like Camille even has a chance of winning Best Actress when she's up against Carly Sampson and Jemma Everett-- Jemma Everett-- and this is only her second big film.
She blushes and says, "Well, uh, um, I mean, I'm not."
Vanessa laughs that sweet little laugh again.
"What movie are you up for, again? Swedish Fish, right?"
Taking a deep breath and glancing around (there are so many people here, so many people, so many famous people, so many talented people), Camille nods.
"Yeah," she gulps, taking deep calming breaths just like her yoga instructor suggested. Keep to how you rehearsed it. "I play Mildred Price, who, um... I..."
Camille's eyes, still roaming nervously around the red carpet, suddenly stop and bug quite out of her head.
It's not... It can't be...
"JO!" Camille yells suddenly, jumping up and down and waving her arms in a decidedly undignified manner while Vanessa Guillermo stares at her in shock. "JO TAYLOR, LOOK OVER HERE!"
Because a few feet away stands a stunning blonde girl-- woman-- in a silver gown with her hair tied back, who glances up at Camille with those gorgeous brown eyes and looks absolutely nonplussed for a split second.
Camille swears that everything in a ten-mile radius goes perfectly silent for that moment.
Then, Jo's eyes go wide and her face breaks into a wide grin as she screams, "CAMILLE!", runs toward her, and embraces her in a nearly bone-crushing hug.
"Oh my goodness, it's been so long--"
"We haven't even talked on the phone in months--"
"-- I didn't even know you had any roles--"
"-- I didn't even know you were coming--"
"--how have you been? How are James and Carlos doing?"
"--how are you and Kendall?"
They both stop dead, look each other in the eyes for a moment, and then burst into laughter.
"Kendall and I stopped dating months ago!" Jo says, trying to catch her breath, and Camille feels a thrill of joy that she attributes to not having seen Jo in person in years. "Did James and Carlos not say anything? I mean, we decided we'd be better off as friends..." She trails off, suddenly uncomfortable.
Camille sighs and shakes her head fondly.
"No, they've been too busy picking out curtains for their new apartment." Jo laughs and Camille continues, "I swear, ever since they moved in together, they're like the most sickeningly sweet newlyweds I've ever seen." Her smile fades. "Uh, I guess you know what happened with Logan..."
Jo blinks.
"I- You can't tell a guy in the second month of your relationship that you want to marry him." She shakes her head incredulously. "At least he left you a forwarding address?"
They stare at each other for a second and then collapse into fresh fits of giggles.
Vanessa Guillermo clears her throat, and suddenly Camille realizes that she and Jo are probably on live television right now.
Oops.
Undoubtedly the exact same shade of red as her dress, Camille turns back to Vanessa and says lamely, "This is Jo."
Jo waves, smiling brightly. She wears an expression that looks like the epitome of confidence and ease (although Camille remembers this expression and knows better than that; this is Jo's "I'm-dying-inside-but-pretending-to-be-calm-and-collected-and-you-can't-prove-I'm-not" expression. It has been Jo's default since the first day Camille met her).
"Of course!" Vanessa smiles at Jo, evidently unphased by this turn of events. "I see you two are old friends?"
"Yeah!" says Jo, and Camille remembers how Jo can make any situation seem a hundred times less awkward than it is. "We both lived at the Palmwoods for a while." She puts a hand on Camille's shoulder.
Camille closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"The Palmwoods! Really." Vanessa says it like it's the most fascinating thing she's ever heard. There are a few more minutes of moderately awkward conversation with a lot of nodding and fake laughing before Vanessa finally turns them loose with a hug and a cheery, "Good luck!" to both.
"I'm so sorry," Camille squeaks as soon as they're far enough away from any cameras. "I didn't mean to embarrass you like that on TV, I just, I mean, it's been years and I just really missed you and you were right there and--"
"Shh, Cami," Jo laughs. "It's fine. I missed you too!" She grins again, and this time it's completely real. "We have so much to catch up on! How have you been? What are you up for? And why haven't I heard about it?"
They're smiling even more now, walking down the red carpet with their hands brushing together every so often, and Camille hasn't truly been this happy in years.
*
They sit by each other through the entire event, and Camille feels calmer than she has in weeks.
Of course, she doesn't know if she can say the same for Jo, who is fidgeting and squirming beside her like her dress is the most uncomfortable thing she has ever worn (which it probably is, but Camille knows that the dress isn't the problem).
"You okay?" she whispers right as the lights start to go down.
Jo simply nods.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Eighty-Sixth Annual Academy Awards!" says Dak Zevon as the curtain opens, and he's all charm and smiles and charisma: the perfect host for the Oscars. He says some other things, maybe tells a few jokes, but Camille can't be bothered to pay attention; she's far too worried about Jo, who is staring wide-eyed at nothing in particular, running a hand over her arm absentmindedly.
"Don't worry," Camille says, gently placing her right hand over Jo's, which is resting on the armrest between them. "You're going to win. I know you are."
"You haven't even seen my movie," she says slowly, but removes her other hand from her arm and sets it atop Camille's (and with a jolt, Camille realizes that the ring Jo has always worn on her right hand is gone).
"Yeah, but I've seen you act," she says, blocking out this new piece of information. It couldn't have been a purity ring, she thinks, because she has always assumed that was what it was, it's just a coincidence, and if it was, maybe it was just some teenage phase. "I mean, it was four years ago, but I don't suppose you've gotten anything but better since then." They smile encouragingly at each other, and Camille feels that thrill again. This time, it worries her a little bit, but she can't tell why.
Before she knows it, Jennifer Two (now apparently known as Jennifer Mary Nash III; when did she get famous enough to present awards? And to have Roman numerals in her name, for that matter?) is presenting the nominees for Best Supporting Actress. She looks over to Jo to reassure her and finds her sitting deathly still with her eyes closed.
"Anna Padarcy, in The Last Narwhal."
"Jo?" she whispers.
No answer.
"Lisa Zeemo, in North."
She gives Jo's hand a squeeze; still no response.
"Catrina Valentine, in Into the Shade. Jo Taylor, in Gambling Man."
Jo suddenly squeezes Camille's hand back, seemingly putting every ounce of strength she has into it.
Camille doesn't mind all that much.
"Debra Finch, in Yosemite Falls."
"Oh no oh no oh no," Jo mutters under her breath, "no, no, no..."
Camille's heart is racing. She doesn't know why, it's not like this is her nomination, her win...
A moment of unbearable silence.
"And the Ocar goes to..."
Come on come on come on oh screw you, Jennifer Two, come on-
"Jo Taylor!"
And then there's clapping, lots of clapping, but it doesn't really register for Camille because oh my goodness Jo just won an Oscar oh my goodness this is actually happening this is the greatest thing ever and Jo is hugging her and running up to the stage and giving a speech because she won an Oscar, and Camille can't do anything beyond sit back down in stunned silence, grinning like an idiot.
"-- and I'd like to thank my family," Jo is saying through her tears, "and God, who has given me this opportunity, and my friends, especially Camille Baker--" she points out to Camille in the audience, and Camille's eyes widen in shock as the camera pans out to her, to capture her reaction for the world to see-- "who is actually up for Best Leading Actress tonight, so I'm wishing her lots and lots of luck, and I-" She pauses, shaking her head, unable to find words. "I just- thank you. This is such an honor." She wipes her eyes, bows gracefully, and walks off stage, award in hand.
Camille claps so hard her hands will probably hurt for hours, and she has never been more proud in her life.
*
When Jo comes back to her seat, she can't stop grinning. It's like her smile has been set to "permanent", really. Not that Camille has any room to talk, though, seeing as she can't stop smiling either.
The other awards come and go: Supporting Actor (Donovan Jeffries, It's Sort Of An Amusing Tale), Animated Feature (North), Adapted Screenplay (Monkeying Around: The Jane Goodall Story), and Camille becomes more and more anxious with each passing acceptance speech. She must look like it, too, because Jo turns to her in the middle of a skit involving Chris Rock and Dak Zevon and some sort of large umbrella and asks, "Hey, you doing okay?"
Camille nods.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm fine. Just a little nervous," she lies easily. Honestly, she might pass out right there at the table, but she reasons with herself that she just has to make it a few more minutes until they announce Leading Actress.
Just a few more minutes.
Actually, thirty minutes.
And Camille feels like she's about to explode, perhaps just keel over and die, when Wendy Jensen comes out to present the award.
Wendy Jensen, respected actress, winner of four Academy Awards.
Well, damn.
"I am here tonight," Wendy says in her high, elegant voice, smiling softly, "to present the award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role, an award I have been lucky enough to receive in the past."
As she continues to speak about what an honor it is to win and how beautiful and talented all five nominees are, Camille begins to feel sick to her stomach. How could she ever even think she was talented enough to win? How did she even get nominated in the first place?
She notices that Jo is sitting up, staring at the stage in rapt attention. She has her fingers crossed.
"The nominees are: Jemma Everett, in Safehouse."
Oh well, maybe next year.
"Carly Sampson, in Locked Away."
Maybe she'll just become a musician.
"Camille Baker, in Swedish Fish."
She flinches as her name is called and a camera is turned toward her, showing her terrified face on the screen in front of everyone. She takes a deep breath and puts on a calmer expression.
"Francine Lowell, in Miniature Elephants."
She wonders vaguely if Big Time Rush could use a tambourine player.
"Chantelle Denoir, in Maybe Someday."
Jo grabs her hand, glancing at her encouragingly.
"And the winner is..."
She could probably stay an actress if she found a few good roles in a row and simply refused to take no for an answer. Isn't that what she used to do?
"Camille Baker."
Oh well, there's always--
Wait.
What?
She can see herself onscreen as shocked realization dawns on her face, and the entire room bursts into laughter and thunderous applause. Jo is squealing and pulling her up and hugging her and it finally sinks into Camille's mind that she just won the award for Best Actress, and she starts jumping up and down and screaming and crying hysterically, and Jo is right there, thrilled for her, so Camille does the only thing that makes sense: she grabs Jo by the shoulders and kisses her square on the mouth. Jo kisses her back automatically, and for a few seconds they just stand together, kissing in the stunned silence of the theater.
Camille doesn't exactly realize what she's done for a few moments, but the second she does, she jumps away from Jo, eyes wide.
"Wh-- it-- I--" she says, always a model of flawless eloquence.
Jo stares back, equally shocked, until she slowly begins to smile. Looking straight at Camille, she laughs and cries, "What are you waiting for? Go get your Academy Award!"
The crowd actually cheers.
Camille hugs her again, sobbing, and runs up to the stage.
"I don't know what to say," she says in her speech, shaking and looking right at Jo, who smiles back and mouths, So proud of you, through her own tears. "I honestly think this is the best day of my life."
It really, really is.