Fic: Bright unconquered suns (Alice, Frank, baby Neville)

[lyras]

Title: Bright unconquered suns
Character: Alice Longbottom, other Longbottoms, various other cameos. Liberal helping of Frank/Alice, although the story probably qualifies as gen.
Rating: R for one very understated sex scene.
Summary: As the dust settles after Hallowe'en 1981, Alice and Frank return to work, where they are given an unpleasant

Comments

[orngsnapdragon]

Guh.
Guh.
Guh. D:

This is wonderful. I really like the set up in particular- switching between Alice now and Alice then. It makes the difference especially painful and powerful. Your writing is lovely, and I love your characterizations of Alice and Frank. (Your Frank, by the way, seems to be the exact same one in my head.) Augusta too, teaching Neville the little teapot.

The last two parts just kill me. Really, I think my heart broke.

And, though this comment has gone on long enough, I just have to point out that there is something fascinating about the time after Vd's fall but before Frank and Alice were driven into insanity. It's what made me write them in the first place.

[lyras]

Very glad you liked - thanks!

The structure came naturally, because for me Alice always has two sides to her life, whether I'm writing about her in the present or the past. I'm glad it worked for you.

I'd been wanting to write Alice and Frank post-Voldemort's fall for a while, so krabapple's request was perfect.

[i_autumnheart]

This is a really amazing piece of writing - you've really brought the Longbottoms to life - and all through the eyes of a woman who effectively lost hers years ago. The alternation between second and third person for the past and present is particularly effective, especially along with the sparse paragraphs for present-day Alice's thoughts. Seeing Neville through both filters was heartbreaking, and your last line had me in tears.

Most well done.

[lyras]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked the alternating between second and third person POV. I didn't plan it, but the story came out like that, so I decided that it worked.

*hands tissues* Sorry about the last line! I wrote that pretty early on, so that was always where the story was going.

[wanderlight]

Before reading this, I never really considered the in-between time for the Longbottoms, and you've done a fantastic job digging stuff out of there. I love the way the two narratives weave in and out of each other; each time I was lulled into a sense of safety by the past-narrative the present-day one would crop up again and remind me what happened, in the end, to Frank and Alice. It's very effective how you didn't bring the fic right up to the scene we're all expecting -- rather, you leave it hanging, and I think that makes it all the more poignant (it also means that I was on the verge of tears throughout the entire ficWhat else did I love? Little details, like the fact that Albus still encourages vigilance after the war (that's always been a big thing for me: the clean-up after a war is sometimes as devastating as a war itself); Alice's consideration for how Remus must be feeling; how the Longbottoms offer to take in Harry. What a different life he would have had

[lyras]

Thanks so much! I'd wanted to write this story for ages, so it was lovely to have an opportunity to do just that.

When I was planning the fic, I did a lot of thinking about that torture scene and why it might have happened, the dynamics of the scene etc (yuck!). I was so relieved when I realised that the story didn't need me to write it all out.

I'm glad you liked the intertwining narratives - for me, Alice-in-the-past is always linked to Alice-in-the-present - and vice versa, which I was trying to show here. I wanted to show that yes, Alice and Frank's lives are a huge tragedy, but they can still have little snippets of happiness in their own way, you know?

Thanks for such a lovely review, anyway! ♥

[madoldmrsfigg]

Oh my goodness, that was so poiniant and well written. I'm reccing it in my journal, if you don't mind.

"When he cried, she felt grief overwhelm her. When he laughed, her heart ached with joy."

That was so beautiful and tender! Perfectly motherly.

I found it so sad Alice and Frank don't remember each other, I (stupidly) never thought of that, but your hints of feeling safe with each other, and the sweet flower references, her sensing of Neville's true quality - the whole fic seemed to really concentrate on perception very effectively, I LOVED your Alice, especially her in her delicate state.

I also loved the Lupin detail - so like him, to be so contained. This is a terribly incoherant review, I apologise - I just really loved it, and it really got to me. x

[lyras]

(OMG, what time is it where you are? *g*)

Thanks so much, and of course I'm not going to mind if you rec this!

Re Frank and Alice's memories, I figure that if they don't remember Neville, as Dumbledore says in GoF, then they probably wouldn't remember each other, either. But I like to think that there is still a sense of connection between them, just as the romantic in me can't let go of the hope that they also value Neville.

And don't apologise - this is a lovely review :). Plus, your icon made me grin.

[madoldmrsfigg]

Too late. Too, too late. I finally checked my flist and I refuse to leave he half-finished like I have been doing... then whoops, it's five in the morning... :B

[nineveh_uk]

A nice portayal of Alice (not something you'd usually expect me to say), and her relationships/perspectives on Frank and Neville are very touching. I was convinced that Emmeline Vance was a polyjuiced Bellatrix!

[lyras]

Thank you! I had great problems with that first section, actually, and I'm still not really happy with Emmeline. But no, starting with Bellatrix's attack would've been mean. :) Thanks for the feedback!