Fic: All the Man That I Need
It’s after glee club, when they’re back in Kurt’s room, that Kurt fully realizes the meaning of the term “make-up sex.” It’s like their first time all over again, but different, because there’s all the intense need to prove that they’re still all in this and that their fight was completely stupid, but with more desperation and almost none of the nerves.
It isn’t that they needed the sex itself to solidify that they were good again. Their renewed closeness isn’t in the slick of sweaty skin on sweaty skin, or in the grip of Kurt’s hand on Blaine’s cock; it’s in the whispered “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s and “I’ll never do that again”s pressed against lips and shoulders and hipbones, it’s in the tight grasp of Blaine’s hand in Kurt’s as Kurt rolls his hips into Blaine, in the way Blaine moans brokenly “I missed you, I missed you,” even though all week Kurt’s never been further than fifteen minutes away.
And it’s after, when Kurt is leaning propped against his headboard with Blaine’s head on his chest and his arm around Blaine’s waist, neither of them even bothering to get dressed again just yet, instead just tugging the sheet haphazardly up over their lower bodies to keep from getting too cold.
Blaine is still babbling, as if the question of whether Kurt will choose Chandler over Blaine is an issue of word count. Little does Blaine know that there never was any question in Kurt’s mind. Through all the dozens of texts he and Chandler exchanged (he doesn’t even want to count them, because the number would just make him hate himself), he never once considered actually dating the boy. The thought of breaking up with Blaine for Chandler makes him sick to his stomach.
Chandler’s puns and cheesy pick-up lines may have been sweet, but they have nothing on Blaine murmuring, “You’re so gorgeous like this. I think this is my favorite part, the after, because anyone can have sex, you know? But it’s only people like me, who are really lucky, who get to cuddle with someone like you afterwards. It’s stupid, but I kind of hope I’m the only person who ever gets to see you like this.”
“It’s not stupid. I hope so too.”
Blaine continues like he didn’t even hear him. “You’re amazing, Kurt, and I’m sorry if I don’t tell you these things enough. I was being an idiot; we only have a few months before you leave, and I should have been making the most of that time instead of pulling away from you, I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, Blaine honey, it’s okay,” Kurt says, running a hand up an down Blaine’s back. “You were right. I was being insensitive; I should have realized talking like I couldn’t wait to get out of here would upset you. And I should have talked to you and asked what was wrong, not gone behind your back and flirted with some other guy.”
Blaine’s shoulders tensed - the hurt was still fresh - and Kurt massaged the space between his shoulder blades with one hand, trying to erase the tension there. “Hell, Rachel was right. And you know I’m being an idiot when Rachel Berry starts talking sense.” Blaine grinned against Kurt’s skin, and Kurt tilted Blaine’s chin up with one hand to look at him. “Chandler means nothing to me.” Blaine swallowed hard, recognizing it as the same thing he’d said about Sebastian, all those months ago in the auditorium. “Honestly, he’s not even my type.”
Blaine shook his head in wry amusement. “What even is your type?”
“Oh, dark hair, hazel eyes, about 5’8”, currently in my bed…” They both knew it wasn’t completely true. Blaine looked nothing like Finn or Sam or any of the other guys Kurt had ever showed interest in (well, except maybe Cooper), but the sentiment was enough, and Kurt’s chest tightened with happiness to see Blaine truly laughing again.
Kurt continued, “And when I’m in New York, if some guy starts sending me flirty text messages, I will tell him ‘hey,’ - and, I will point my finger so he knows I’m serious-“” Blaine giggled again, tucking his face into Kurt’s neck. “‘I have a boyfriend, mister, a boyfriend who I’m in love with, and he’s sweet, and talented, and gorgeous, and sexy…” Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine’s hairline with each word. Blaine’s hair was sticking to his forehead with a vaguely disgusting glue of gel and sweat, but the gesture was worth it.
“You’re going to tell this random guy in New York all that?”
“Well, maybe not, but I’ll think it, because it’s the truth.” He wrapped his arm even tighter around Blaine’s waist. “I meant it when I said I’m never saying goodbye to you.” Blaine didn’t look up, but his fingers curled automatically on Kurt’s chest, as though looking for something to cling to and meeting nothing but skin. Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his free one, twining their fingers together and whispering, “And I meant my song this week, you know.”
Blaine looked up at Kurt sheepishly, eyes wet. “I didn’t mean mine. Well, maybe a little bit, but I was just so mad, and hurt, and I wanted you to think that I was just mad.” Blaine took a shaky breath. “It scares me sometimes just how much you could hurt me.”
Kurt’s heart broke a little bit, and he dropped Blaine’s hand so he could wrap both arms around his back. “But I wouldn’t, I swear, I would never want to hurt you.”
Blaine shook his head furiously, sitting up, but not trying to shake Kurt off. “You can say that, and I know you don’t want to, but look at this week. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but… you’ve gotten under my skin, Kurt, and I will have nothing if I don’t have you.”
Kurt was teary-eyed again, for about the dozenth time that week. “Well, good thing you always will have me.” He moved a hand to the back of Blaine’s neck to pull him in for a kiss, dry and soft because they were both too shaky with emotion to deepen it. “I’m so in love with you.”
Blaine’s breath caught. “You don’t say that first very often. Not that it should matter, but…”
“No, you’re right. I… I think when you’re me, you learn to be cautious. You see, I’ve been burned a couple times by thinking I was in love with a guy, and then having to watch him make out with Rachel.”
Blaine snorted. “You will never stop giving me crap for that, will you?”
“Not until it stops being funny, which it never will.” They both laughed, and Kurt turned his head to kiss Blaine’s temple.
“I didn’t know better then, but now I will always love you, too.”
“Okay A, Whitney week is over, and B, I’m pretty sure Mercedes claimed that song about two and a half months ago.”
“Shut up, you know what I meant.”
“Wanna make out some more?”
Blaine raised his eyebrows, faux-scandalized. “Oh golly gee, I don’t know, can I go check my planner first?”
“Oh my God, you suck so hard.”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure that was you doing the sucking earlier…” Kurt contemplated hitting his boyfriend with a pillow, but settled instead for pushing him onto his back, straddling Blaine’s hips as their lips met once again.
It isn’t that they needed the sex itself to solidify that they were good again. Their renewed closeness isn’t in the slick of sweaty skin on sweaty skin, or in the grip of Kurt’s hand on Blaine’s cock; it’s in the whispered “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s and “I’ll never do that again”s pressed against lips and shoulders and hipbones, it’s in the tight grasp of Blaine’s hand in Kurt’s as Kurt rolls his hips into Blaine, in the way Blaine moans brokenly “I missed you, I missed you,” even though all week Kurt’s never been further than fifteen minutes away.
And it’s after, when Kurt is leaning propped against his headboard with Blaine’s head on his chest and his arm around Blaine’s waist, neither of them even bothering to get dressed again just yet, instead just tugging the sheet haphazardly up over their lower bodies to keep from getting too cold.
Blaine is still babbling, as if the question of whether Kurt will choose Chandler over Blaine is an issue of word count. Little does Blaine know that there never was any question in Kurt’s mind. Through all the dozens of texts he and Chandler exchanged (he doesn’t even want to count them, because the number would just make him hate himself), he never once considered actually dating the boy. The thought of breaking up with Blaine for Chandler makes him sick to his stomach.
Chandler’s puns and cheesy pick-up lines may have been sweet, but they have nothing on Blaine murmuring, “You’re so gorgeous like this. I think this is my favorite part, the after, because anyone can have sex, you know? But it’s only people like me, who are really lucky, who get to cuddle with someone like you afterwards. It’s stupid, but I kind of hope I’m the only person who ever gets to see you like this.”
“It’s not stupid. I hope so too.”
Blaine continues like he didn’t even hear him. “You’re amazing, Kurt, and I’m sorry if I don’t tell you these things enough. I was being an idiot; we only have a few months before you leave, and I should have been making the most of that time instead of pulling away from you, I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, Blaine honey, it’s okay,” Kurt says, running a hand up an down Blaine’s back. “You were right. I was being insensitive; I should have realized talking like I couldn’t wait to get out of here would upset you. And I should have talked to you and asked what was wrong, not gone behind your back and flirted with some other guy.”
Blaine’s shoulders tensed - the hurt was still fresh - and Kurt massaged the space between his shoulder blades with one hand, trying to erase the tension there. “Hell, Rachel was right. And you know I’m being an idiot when Rachel Berry starts talking sense.” Blaine grinned against Kurt’s skin, and Kurt tilted Blaine’s chin up with one hand to look at him. “Chandler means nothing to me.” Blaine swallowed hard, recognizing it as the same thing he’d said about Sebastian, all those months ago in the auditorium. “Honestly, he’s not even my type.”
Blaine shook his head in wry amusement. “What even is your type?”
“Oh, dark hair, hazel eyes, about 5’8”, currently in my bed…” They both knew it wasn’t completely true. Blaine looked nothing like Finn or Sam or any of the other guys Kurt had ever showed interest in (well, except maybe Cooper), but the sentiment was enough, and Kurt’s chest tightened with happiness to see Blaine truly laughing again.
Kurt continued, “And when I’m in New York, if some guy starts sending me flirty text messages, I will tell him ‘hey,’ - and, I will point my finger so he knows I’m serious-“” Blaine giggled again, tucking his face into Kurt’s neck. “‘I have a boyfriend, mister, a boyfriend who I’m in love with, and he’s sweet, and talented, and gorgeous, and sexy…” Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine’s hairline with each word. Blaine’s hair was sticking to his forehead with a vaguely disgusting glue of gel and sweat, but the gesture was worth it.
“You’re going to tell this random guy in New York all that?”
“Well, maybe not, but I’ll think it, because it’s the truth.” He wrapped his arm even tighter around Blaine’s waist. “I meant it when I said I’m never saying goodbye to you.” Blaine didn’t look up, but his fingers curled automatically on Kurt’s chest, as though looking for something to cling to and meeting nothing but skin. Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his free one, twining their fingers together and whispering, “And I meant my song this week, you know.”
Blaine looked up at Kurt sheepishly, eyes wet. “I didn’t mean mine. Well, maybe a little bit, but I was just so mad, and hurt, and I wanted you to think that I was just mad.” Blaine took a shaky breath. “It scares me sometimes just how much you could hurt me.”
Kurt’s heart broke a little bit, and he dropped Blaine’s hand so he could wrap both arms around his back. “But I wouldn’t, I swear, I would never want to hurt you.”
Blaine shook his head furiously, sitting up, but not trying to shake Kurt off. “You can say that, and I know you don’t want to, but look at this week. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but… you’ve gotten under my skin, Kurt, and I will have nothing if I don’t have you.”
Kurt was teary-eyed again, for about the dozenth time that week. “Well, good thing you always will have me.” He moved a hand to the back of Blaine’s neck to pull him in for a kiss, dry and soft because they were both too shaky with emotion to deepen it. “I’m so in love with you.”
Blaine’s breath caught. “You don’t say that first very often. Not that it should matter, but…”
“No, you’re right. I… I think when you’re me, you learn to be cautious. You see, I’ve been burned a couple times by thinking I was in love with a guy, and then having to watch him make out with Rachel.”
Blaine snorted. “You will never stop giving me crap for that, will you?”
“Not until it stops being funny, which it never will.” They both laughed, and Kurt turned his head to kiss Blaine’s temple.
“I didn’t know better then, but now I will always love you, too.”
“Okay A, Whitney week is over, and B, I’m pretty sure Mercedes claimed that song about two and a half months ago.”
“Shut up, you know what I meant.”
“Wanna make out some more?”
Blaine raised his eyebrows, faux-scandalized. “Oh golly gee, I don’t know, can I go check my planner first?”
“Oh my God, you suck so hard.”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure that was you doing the sucking earlier…” Kurt contemplated hitting his boyfriend with a pillow, but settled instead for pushing him onto his back, straddling Blaine’s hips as their lips met once again.