[Fanfic] - Entrepreneurship for Empires (1/2)
Fandom: Hetalia
Rating: Mature
Characters or Pairing: Prussia/Germany
Word Count: 5,500
Summary: Prussia is looking to rebuild his kingdom. By creating an internet empire bent on dominating the online adult entertainment market. Germany’s still trying to figure out how he got dragged into this whole thing.
Originally written for the kink meme for the prompt ‘Making a porno and failing miserably.’
Step 1: Identify Your Business Opportunity
Running an internet pornography business couldn’t possibly be as demanding as running a country (or winning wars, which he rocked at) Prussia told himself as he submitted the domain name registration.
One of his best skills - aside from generally being awesome, kicking ass on the battlefield, and making albino look good- was his ability to adapt to changing circumstances. If he could no longer invade foreign lands, he would turn his sights towards invading wallets and bedrooms. Welcome to the 21st century, bitches. He gazed at the fresh website, what was to be his next empire, albeit a virtual empire.
www.AwesomeMeSexyTiems.com
It was without a doubt the best domain name the internet had ever seen. Prussia cackled madly.
Disturbed by the noise, his small yellow chick stirred from its place on the bed and flew towards the sound, landing on the keyboard and staring up at its user before letting out a soft chirp.
“No, Gilbird,” he said solemnly. “There is no market for that. You’ll have to stay behind the scenes on this one.”
Chirp.
“Absolutely not.”
Gilbird continued to stare up at him with sorrow in his little bird eyes. That damned bird was a master of manipulation and Prussia had no one to blame but himself. His avian companion had learned from the best, after all.
“Fine. You can operate the camera.”
Gilbird let out a succession of overjoyed tweets and threw himself happily off the keyboard to fly rapid circles around Prussia’s head before nestling into the silver-white locks, where he stayed put, occasionally grooming an errant strand of hair.
Prussia felt a rush of affection and smiled at the antics.
But Gilbird brought up a valid point. Who would he get to be in the videos? He would be the main star, obviously, but he would need backup. He briefly considered a talent scouting road trip (paying a visit to each nation in turn, getting them wasted, bringing them home, and secretly taping the fallout), but his keen sense of strategy hinted that it probably would not end well for him. If there was anything to be learned from the Second World War, it was not to fight a war on multiple fronts.
“Think, think,” he muttered to himself, dropping his head to rest in his hands.
Startled, Gilbird abandoned ship and resumed his previous spot on the keyboard. His landing pressed down on several keys, and Prussia found himself suddenly looking at his email which had flashed up on screen. He gave the computer a dubious scowl, trying to determine if Gilbird had made a deliberate suggestion or if the email window had popped up unintentionally.
Giving his old friend the benefit of the doubt, he decided to take the offered suggestion. Prussia gently relocated the most awesome bird in the world off the keyboard and began to type.
*****
To: All Nations
From: The Awesome Prussia
Re: Movie Auditions!
Hey guys! The awesome me is making a movie. If you losers aren’t too lame I will let you be in it. West’s place, Saturday morning.
With Love,
Prussia.
*****
Saturday morning dawned and brought with it the promise of great and sticky things to come. Unfortunately, that’s all it brought. Not a single nation showed up. Even his traitorous brother had made himself scarce for the day.
Rather than being discouraged, Prussia took it as a challenge. He’d never gone down easily in his life and he sure as hell wasn’t about to start now. He needed a new approach. Best to go back to his roots, play to his strengths. The Prussian armies he once commanded had relied on a mandatory universal conscription. Likewise, he decided, he was now left with no choice but to draft his fellow nations.
The call to pornographic duty had begun.
Step 2: Recruit the Best Talent
Rather than commit to a potentially long and drawn out campaign, Prussia first set his sights close to home. Exactly at home, if he wanted to be more precise (which he did).
It was the evening of the failed movie shoot. He parked himself on the couch, slouched low enough that he couldn’t be seen from the entranceway. It was only a matter of time before West had to eventually come home and Prussia was ready.
He knew his brother was never in a million years going to go for this (brilliant) idea. West was and always had been fastidious about his public appearance, his dignity, and cleanliness in general. Nothing about those traits screamed ‘Let’s make a porno with my brother and put it on the internet for profit’.
Luckily, Prussia was not so easily daunted. A plan began to take shape.
His patience paid off when finally the click of a door unlocking and the soft sound of footfalls echoed from the front doorway. Feigning sleep, he let the footsteps come closer, and then his eyes snapped open and his lips twisted into a too-wide smirk.
“Hello West. Nice day at work?”
If the unexpected greeting took him by surprise he hid it well. Prussia was proud, in spite of himself. After all, he was the one who raised West to be that awesome.
“I can’t remember the last time you were called in on a Saturday,” he continued, ignoring the lack of response. “Pretty big coincidence, yeah. Almost like you were avoiding being at home for some reason.” With that, Prussia’s eyes narrowed.
“You are referring to that ridiculous email, I suppose.” Straight to the point, as usual.
“You think you’re too good to be in my movie. You don’t even know what it’s about.”
“I know you, brother. That’s enough for me to know I want no part of it.”
“So you ran away and hid. I taught you better than that.”
West’s back stiffened. “I made a strategic retreat to a more secure area. You yourself taught me that particular maneuver, if you recall.”
“Well now you’re here, and lucky for you I’ve decided to forgive you and give you a starring role in my movie. Consider yourself honored.” Still reclined on the couch, Prussia gave a lazy hand wave as if to physically wipe the slate clean.
“Whatever it is, the answer is no, Gilbert.”
West was one of the few people with permission to call him by that name, but that wouldn’t save him now. Red eyes flashed. Time to commence Plan Naked Eagle.
Naked Eagle involved the following: Unbeknownst to most, West had a deep appreciation for fine art, whether it was painting, sculpture, tapestry, modern installation, or whatever. The solution was obvious; he would proposition the making of the video as a foray into erotic art. That in itself wouldn’t get him all the way to cyberspace, of course. But he knew if West watched said video, the overwhelming hotness of the two of them (mostly Prussia, really, but the thought of success made him feel magnanimous) would short circuit rational thought, he would consent to posting the video, and Prussia would be on his way to dominating the international erotic ecommerce market.
He made his opening gambit. “You would say no to raising the consciousness of your own people’s appreciation for fine art? I didn’t take you for a philistine.”
Score one for the new empire, thought Prussia, as West’s face shifted from highly annoyed to intrigued with a side of annoyance.
“Somehow I think our definitions of that differ.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“I haven’t forgotten the time you threw that basket of spoiled eggs at Austria’s house and declared it your masterpiece.”
“Some of my best work,” Prussia agreed. To think he’d almost forgotten about that.
“Defacement of private property is not art.”
“Whatever. Are you in or what?”
“You’ve never expressed an interest in the arts before.”
West was still clearly skeptical. Time to progress to the next phase.
“I’m expressing one now. Thought I could count on my little brother to back me up.” When in doubt, use familial guilt.
You know you have my support,” responded West immediately, eyebrow twitching as if he knew he would soon regret the words. “What type of art?”
“Erotic art,” Prussia revealed, keeping a completely straight face.
West’s jaw clenched shut and Prussia fancied he could almost hear the grinding of teeth. For a moment, neither one spoke. After a long pause, West abruptly turned on his heel and left the room.
“Don’t think you’re getting off that easy!” Prussia shouted after him. His crazed laughter filled the house as he realized the inadvertent double entendre.
An hour later Prussia was bored, and he didn’t care if enough time had passed to get West over the initial shock and into a more malleable state of mind. He was tempted to skip the whole talking step and simply drug his stubborn ass into compliance. After all, was it not his right as elder to impose his will however he damn well pleased? But kids these days were so anti-drugs; best to keep that particular plan in reserve for the future. Decision made, he bounded off the couch and ran to the master bedroom to continue his persuasive argument.
For all Prussia’s devious plotting (and awesome plan name), what finally turned the argument in his favor was, “You should know I’m not making my awesome debut with some pansy boring vanilla crap. We can do whatever you want. I promise you’ll like it.”
Blonde head already turned half away, he lurched to a halt at the words, jerking around to lock eyes onto Prussia. It was an open secret that West’s taste in adult entertainment was hardly tame, and though Prussia found it difficult to let go enough to be completely submissive in bed, he was willing to stretch himself (no pun intended) for the glory of the new Prussian virtual empire.
West quickly got over his shock and fixed him with a predatory look that screamed of hunger and barely restrained aggression. Prussia felt like a bit of an idiot for not going with the kink angle in the first place. But whatever, he got there eventually and success was all that mattered in the end.
But of course, West being West, he could never let anything go unsaid. The kid had standards and he certainly would not make a porno under false pretenses. “To be clear, are you saying that-”
“Yes. Anything you want. For one scene.” For real, isn’t that what he just said. He hoped West wasn’t getting dumber with age, or worse, boring.
“Anything?” he looked like Christmas had come early and Prussia’s previous concerns about old age and dullness evaporated on the spot.
“That’s what I said, isn’t it.” Seriously, the things a man had to do to make a porno and build an empire these days. Prussia brushed the thought aside; it would be worth it when the Kingdom of Prussian Internet Porn rose up to conquer all others in its wake. (Granted, it wasn’t the still-warm blood of his enemies, but it was a type of global domination and it would suffice.)
“Fine, agreed.”
Prussia did a little happy dance in his head. Without another word he turned on his heel and strode purposefully towards his own bedroom. He couldn’t hear anything behind him, but knew West would be following obscenely close behind, a predator stalking its mark.
Victory felt damn good.
Step 3: Be a Team Player
As Prussia led the way, he decided to celebrate a little before relinquishing control. He waited until they both had barely crossed over his bedroom’s threshold before launching the attack. Without looking, he reached back and snatched his brother’s hand in a secure grip and forcibly spun them both around until they were face-to-face, with West’s back towards the bed. He savored the satisfaction a flawlessly executed maneuver.
“We start now.” With that declaration, he sprang into action again.
A rough shove forced West backwards. Prussia watched in unholy glee as he stumbled, until the back of his legs hit the bed and he fell into an awkward half-sitting-half-leaning position at the very corner. Prussia followed him down. With his mouth.
“Gilberttttt-“ Whatever West was about to say was cut short as a head full of silver-white hair descended on his crotch. Hands made short work of trousers and undergarments blocking the way. Any future protests died unsaid as Prussia took him in his mouth in one go. It was a rather effective way to shut West up, he decided, filing the information away for future reference.
Neither noticed the blinking red light in the corner slowly but steadily fading as the scene progressed.
For a moment Germany could do nothing more than gaze blankly at the ceiling as arousal flooded through him. For all Prussia’s other shortcomings, when he applied himself to a task he never gave anything less than his all, and he was amazingly skilled at this particular undertaking. Recovering his senses, he gave into the urge to grab hold of the soft hair presented before him and twist. He didn’t feel guilty for the brutal treatment in the least; it was no secret that Prussia liked pain, both on and off the battlefield.
In response to the cruel treatment, Prussia faltered slightly and let out a low groan. As if to make up for this show of weakness, he followed up with a viciously hard suck, causing Germany to jerk his hips wildly and almost throw them both off the bed.
Inwardly, Prussia smirked; for all West’s bravado he could still be taken by surprise like a little girl. But West didn’t almost conquer all of Europe by being undisciplined and stilled almost immediately, his iron control quickly reasserting itself.
Germany tightened his grip further, relishing the feeling of his brother’s fine hair trapped between his fingers. He squeezed harder and jerked his arm up, so that Prussia had to pause in his ministrations and look up, else risk losing a hank of hair.
“Careful Preussen,” he scolded, keeping his voice low. He shifted his grip so that the calloused pad of his thumb lightly stroked Prussia’s pale brow, not relinquishing the crushing grip the rest of his hand had on his hair.
Prussia broke eye contact first. Slowly, his gaze returned to Germany’s manhood and he leisurely slid his lips back around his cock, mouth barely making contact, until most of his length was engulfed.
Germany wanted to scream, faster harder NOW, but with a monumental effort of self-control, contented himself with a long drawn out exhale instead.
Changing direction, Prussia’s mouth worked its way back up, painstakingly slowly, until only the tip was encased by those thin lips, tongue swirling over the head. Germany fisted his free hand in the unmade bed sheets in an attempt to keep control over himself, staring up at the ceiling like a man seeking absolution.
The sudden loss of sensation snapped him back to himself. Prussia had continued to pull away until only the tip of his tongue was now caressing Germany’s freely weeping slit. He glanced down to see a smirking face staring up at him incorrigibly. Leave it to Prussia to pull off a smirk with his tongue out and touching another man’s cock, he thought, only somewhat irritated. It was Prussia, and if anyone could manage to be so obnoxious while in such a compromising position, it was his elder brother.
Releasing the bedsheet, he delivered a stinging open handed smack to that smirking face. The slap of skin on skin echoed loudly in the otherwise silent room. For a brief moment, Prussia’s composure slipped and he stared in open shock, ego warring with arousal and his own agreement to this arrangement plain on his face. Before Prussia had time to regroup, Germany was speaking again.
“That was only a warning. I didn’t say you could stop.” he leered and added, “and don’t even think about biting.” Hand still fisted in the silky white strands, he slowly forced Prussia back down, until he was once again enveloped in that encompassing wet heat.
Prussia didn’t resist and Germany soon found himself setting an immensely satisfying rhythm, savoring his brother’s impeccable oral technique and even more so, his uncommon show of submissiveness. He was definitely going to procure a copy of the finished movie; it would be a perfect addition to his collection.
Idly, he glanced about the room. It wasn’t often Prussia was this compliant and Germany had every intention of making it last. If he could only see where the inevitable stash of bedroom accoutrements was hidden; he didn’t want to break the moment to leave and retrieve his own. (He was also able to sense the mood and refrain from speaking, he just didn’t feel the need to go around saying it.) He was sure Prussia stocked a variety of restraints and other fun devices in the vicinity and he very much wanted to use something of the sort right now.
The moment was broken in the most unexpected of ways.
A blur of speeding yellow hurled across the room straight at Germany’s face. Before he had time to shield himself, the projectile abruptly changed direction and dive-bombed Prussia’s head. Repeatedly. Its little beak, for it was Gilbird staging the aerial attack upon his own master, pecked at Prussia’s exposed face again and again without mercy.
A strangled sound escaped Prussia and then it all went to hell.
Prussia, facing away from Gilbird’s line of entry, was taken completely by surprise. One moment he was giving one of his best oral performances ever, and the next he was under attack from the skies. It wasn’t his fault he gave into instinct and bit down. If West hadn’t been such a sissy who startled so easily it would have ended there, but he practically jumped half a meter in the air. Which would have been fine, if his cock wasn’t snugly encased by Prussia’s mouth at the time.
Inexplicably, he was reminded of the occasion when he witnessed Romano, in a haze of alcohol and bravado, don a pair of brass knuckles and punch West in the crotch (twice!) after some training fiasco with Veneziano. Probably because West made the same face in response to both incidents.
As West’s eyes glazed over in pain, he lost his already precarious position on the bed. They went down in a tangle of limbs.
Prussia was dazed from the impact. Just slightly, because he wasn’t a pussy.
When he came to, he was sprawled over West on the floor, with Gilbird’s assault still going strong. He went to take a vicious swipe at his pet-turned-saboteur, but was abruptly brought up short by the discovery that his arms were trapped beneath the combined weight of West’s body and his own. He tried again to pull free, but West was heavier than he looked. Prussia made a note to start sabotaging his stupid morning weight lifting routine.
“Gilbird, you betrayer. Stop that right now,” he snapped. The words had no effect. Prussia shook his head roughly back and forth in an attempt to dislodge his rogue bird. Hair flew wildly in all directions but Gilbird merely fluttered his wings and continued with renewed vigor.
For the moment, all he could do was to look down at his brother helplessly and hope that they had tumbled beyond the camera’s line of sight (and be ridiculously grateful he’d managed to disengage his mouth from West’s cock). Gilbird was still merrily pecking away at his head and it was starting to hurt.
Fuck, this was not the plan.
West groaned. “I told you no biting, you idiot.”
“Fuck you, West. Get off of me.” He couldn’t even fend off his own bird in this position and frankly it was getting embarrassing. That little bastard of a bird was taking revenge for not being allowed in the porno, wasn’t he?
West shifted, pressing Prussia’s trapped arms even further into the carpet, and donned a wide shit eating grin that Prussia recognized as one of his own trademarks. “Excuse me, Gilbert. But I believe you are the one who is on me. So you move.” It was delivered in the exact obnoxious mocking tone Prussia himself would have used, leaving no doubt that West knew he was stuck and was enjoying it immensely.
Prussia was going to kill his brother.
Eventually, Gilbird performed a cease and desist and flew to the opposite corner of the room. At first, Prussia thought the chick was fleeing the retribution of the great Prussia, and rightfully so. When he got his hands on that little bird (once he got his hands free, that is), but then he saw what Gilbird was perched on.
The camera.
The camera with the very dim blinking red light that, under Prussia’s watchful eye, faded out and did not come back on.
The battery was dead. Gilbird was trying to warn him of the low battery this whole time. Fuck.
Gilbird gave a mournful chirp and hopped in a little semicircle until he was fully facing Prussia again. If he thought he was getting praised for this bullshit then Prussia was the queen of England.
There was a long moment of silence. “Your bird,” declared West, “is henceforth banned from the bedroom.”
Gilbird looked crushed.
Next Part