[TLB4] The Last Bridge

[lykanion]

Title: The Last Bridge - Chapter 4
Word Count: 4609
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Two boys meet, each with their own problems. What path has life laid out for them?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.


A/N: Oeh, I can't even do anything else but sigh. It's over again. It seems I have these time-cycles where I can write lol. For two months I do nothing but write, then other two I only dance or sth, etc. Anyway, I haven't really checked this part but I thought that I should at least post it than letting it sit in Word file. You'll see how it is when you try reading it. Can't even say how frustrated I am with it.

Junhyung looked left and right before glancing back at Hyunseung, eyeing his knee, “Anyway, can you walk? We should go before we get into trouble.” It was still recess and even though they had a chance to go back to the school, both minds seemed to have accepted that it was out of the question.

“Of course,” Hyunseung said and got up, squinting his eyes slightly as slight pain shot through his knee. This expression went by without a single hint on his face.

“I have a bit of time before *fake cough* work. So want to do something or just go home?” Junhyung asked but as his eyes suddenly gained a familiar spark, Hyunseung looked behind him to see an ice-cream truck. Junhyung was already heading towards it, waving his arms around slightly like a little child while humming a tune.

“I’m gonna buy one for you too, as an apology,” he said while having turned around for a brief moment before continuing to his goal.

Hyunseung sat on a nearby bench while his mind was still processing the last question. It was quite an easy one but then why did it create mixed feelings? Is this what he wanted? His original plan was to shut people off and this didn’t seem to apply to it at all. On the contrary, it seemed like breaking a long-time contract with himself.

Whole his life the one sure lesson he had learned was not to trust anyone. Not to mention let them near. It was a necessity as his step-father’s experience had proved this lesson right more than a couple of times. And this thought was implanted in Hyunseung’s mind. So he would be perfect.

It was an inner battle between old self and someone who he wanted to become. But all the lived years told him to stick to the old. If you don’t take chances, nothing will fail. Only allowed risks are ones you make with investing. And that’s it.

He knew everyone would say just go with it, let yourself go and don’t think about the future so much or you’ll never get to live. What happens just happens. You can’t always worry.

Easy for you to say.

“So?” Junhyung came back finally, handing one of the cones to the older who accepted with a quiet thanks, last traces of thoughts still running through his mind.

“I think I should head home though,” Hyunseung said in that same voice while keeping his eyes down. He felt apologetic. But he couldn’t answer any other way as he felt that Junhyung was probably going to get tired of him anyway. When they had met Hyunseung had kept up a façade of a ‘cool’ personality who didn’t seem to care about anything but somehow near Junhyung it was slowly falling apart.

Hyunseung didn’t want it to, but it did. And he felt scared of others finding about his insecurities which were so visible now. He didn’t see any other chance. His old mind-set was taking over again - look perfect.

“Don’t give me that, you have time anyway,” Junhyung shook his answer off.

“I really have to go-“ Hyunseung wanted to think up an excuse but came up with nothing. Instead Junhyung replied, “At least let’s take a small stroll on the town, a longer route to your home. How does that sound?”

Hyunseung responded with a nod before getting up. This would do.

“You know, I really hoped to leave these days behind myself after entering high-school but life turned out differently,” Junhyung started the conversation, probably feeling the heaviness of surrounding air.

“And how did it end up like this then?” Hyunseung asked when the other had trailed off.

“Just different things piled on top of each other. There is no specific reason for it.”

“You have probably heard many rumors, eh?” Junhyung continued but gave out a sigh when he saw the older nod.

“Should’ve known so…Well, I guess there is some truth in it but you probably know that already,” Junhyung looked at the other to see him still staring down.

“Often things have unexpected results. Who knew one small mistake may cause hundreds but sometimes you just have to learn to accept it because there is no other choice. Like given two bad options. It’s a dead-end.” Junhyung stretched his hands towards the sky.

“Why are you telling me this?” Hyunseung finally questioned, earning a fake surprised look from the other

“I thought you might be able to read my mind,” Junhyung replied, turning his back to Hyunseung but that didn’t stop him from knowing Hyunseung just at that second rolled his eyes.

“We haven’t talked much, how could I know anything,” Hyunseung more mumbled to himself but the younger still caught it.

“Well…I know I’m not going to get anything out of you. But I guess I should help you instead,” He said while turning around again, only to meet with Hyunseung’s questioning eyes.

Is he testing me?

Junhyung’s eyes were piercing again, having that specific sharp look which made Hyunseung want to look away but he couldn’t. They were like a trap. The older felt confused - at first he treated him with care. Then he suddenly turned into a child after seeing ice-cream and now…Is this his real personality? Why is he doing this?

“Let’s see where should I begin,” Junhyung interrupted his thoughts, “You may correct me if you want but I doubt you will.” A grin appeared on his face and Hyunseung knew he was right.

“Think about it though. I want you to be able to understand. What am I like?” The younger asked but didn’t seem to expect an answer as he walked away slightly, letting the other gather his thoughts. He didn’t even think on refusing.

Hyunseung let all his meetings go through in front of his eyes, trying to make out what was useful. He hadn’t analyzed properly before so his mind was flooded with old and new information, making it impossible to understand everything.

Junhyung had returned by the time a he continued, “I guess you would say I should improve my acting. It’s a bit see-through, right?” The grin had been replaced by a smirk.

Hyunseung didn’t change his facial expression. He had been right but he didn’t have time to ponder about it as he felt what was coming wasn’t good.

“And you’re right. I have thought about why am I like so. Am I looking for attention? Not in a childish way, oh no, but more like…?” He looked at Hyunseung as he should finish.

“Help?” The older offered hesitantly to which the other snapped his fingers in approval.

“I guess the only reason I try to get along with you is because maybe you can understand. You’re in denial right now but after I can get you out of it, you’d become more useful,” Junhyung continued, not even bothered by the fact that the other had sent him a small glare.

“I know you also feel it. You want someone to urge you and give you courage to leave your past behind and get away from the mess you’re in right now. Even though I may not seem who I really am, so is with you. We’re both not really that brave we make ourselves out to be.”

Junhyung finally broke their eye-contact as he walked on a horizontal line in front of Hyunseung. He had given him a chance to stop this conversation but the older either didn’t get the drift or didn’t want to.

Junhyung walked to Hyunseung again, creating eye-contact, which this time was much more meaningful. The iciness was toned down as Hyunseung saw many other emotions.

“My eyes are like a reflection what you feel. The hurt, the sadness, the yearning, practically everything. It that why even though I have approached you I have avoided looking into your eyes for too long?”

“Maybe you should just-“ Hyunseung was just about to give him a piece of his mind when they both were interrupted by a loud cough. The older shot a look in that direction with surprise while Junhyung just slowly turned around like he had found out about the presence already before.

“What?” He asked, his voice icy again and probably his eyes also which Hyunseung couldn’t see at that moment. Junhyung seemed to have turned his back on purpose, making Hyunseung roll his eyes.

The stranger walked over to him and handed a phone which Junhyung glanced for a moment before dismissing the other who disappeared immediately. Junhyung turned to the older, looking straight at the other, eyes still serious.

“I have to go, this chat was nice.” And Junhyung only turned his back and started walking away. Hyunseung was about to do the same but something kept him in his place and he looked at the back which was getting smaller by each step. Only at the road he raised his hand in air as a term of goodbye before disappearing into a car.

He probably knew Hyunseung was watching.

Hyunseung doesn’t know what to think actually. He hadn’t seen Junhyung the whole week though he was sure he attended school, thanks to the girls who kept blabbering about him.

Hyunseung had to admit, he kind of missed the younger and his weird cheery ways. He liked guessing whether the younger was just messing around with him or being serious. Even though it came out in a weird way, Hyunseung almost started to think of him as a friend as it seemed Junhyung understood him well.

He didn’t know how people became friends or how long it should take but he had already written Junhyung in his mental friend’s list, accompanied with Yoseob’s name. It really was weird but even without saying anything even Hyunseung could feel some kind of harmony as if no words really needed to be said.

The loneliness had started to fade as his thoughts weren’t always as empty as they used to be. His mind was occupied more, even though the thoughts were about how annoying he was or if he was going to annoy him today also. It was even fun.

But no, Junhyung didn’t approach him at all, even no sight of him. And Hyunseung didn’t do anything about it though he knew he should have. But as days passed he started to get back into his rhythm again, lonely walks home, accompanied with bird-song and wind blowing his hair into a mess. He even made his way back to the beach once though the weather was too good to see anything worthwhile.

The night rolled around and Hyunseung stayed inside, reading through a biology textbook for the upcoming test. Too bad it was boring as hell but it needed to be done.

There was a sudden click against the window but Hyunseung brushed it off as the tree-branches were close, making the birds randomly hit against the glass as their favorite leisure activity. Even the second time Hyunseung thought it was the bird but still glanced up to see nothing. His instincts made him walk over to the window and look out - sometimes Yoseob signaled him like that if he had forgotten his phone but that happened rarely.

His eyes widened in shock when he saw the person standing there not to be Yoseob but Junhyung instead. Hyunseung opened the window without further thought.

“What are you doing here?” He hissed. Everyone was probably asleep and they weren’t the nicest when being woken up.

“Let me in?” Junhyung asked in a whisper which Hyunseung almost didn’t catch if Junhyung hadn’t added hand gestures. The older boy gave it a thought as he looked Junhyung, the younger seemed to be in a shabby state as his clothes were ripped at random places.

Hyunseung motioned towards the backdoor and closed the window, tiptoeing downstairs to unlock it. He opened it to reveal Junhyung standing there with a tired look on his face. He seemed like he hadn’t eaten anything as the moonlight showed how hollow his cheeks had gotten and how bad the bags under his eyes were. Hyunseung felt chills go down on his back.

They proceeded back upstairs, Hyunseung noting that Junhyung was really quiet if needed. He literally didn’t make a single noise as he seemed to perfectly know where something would squeak. Even Hyunseung didn’t know it.

He let Junhyung in and just now noticed how he was limping one of his legs, making Hyunseung furrow his eyebrow. Junhyung sat down with a quiet ‘Thanks’ but seemed to avoid the other’s eyes.

“You can sleep in my bed if you want as I don’t have any couches here or anything,” Hyunseung started explaining as he tried to clean up the mess his room was in by throwing things to random places - on the closet, behind the bed, practically everywhere those items could fit. He already cursed in his head how he was never going to find anything again.

“The bathroom is down the hall but if you want to eat something then tell me, I’ll get something. Water I should have around somewhere,” Hyunseung searched around and finally found a bottle under some random clothing item, “Here.” He handed the bottle to Junhyung who still had a hoodie over his head.

Junhyung didn’t say anything which was strange for Hyunseung as he walked over to the other who was currently drinking.

“You can sit on the bed you know,” Hyunseung said while doing so itself. “Anyway, what’s up?”

Junhyung still didn’t answer and Hyunseung looked a bit more closely, only now noticing the ripped up clothes again and even…red spots? Clothes partly drenched in blood?

“Junhyung?” He raised his voice in questioning manner, eyes also slightly widening as he pointed on one of such spots.

“Ah, I’m so tired,” Junhyung only said, it was raspy. Hyunseung his eyes still studied the other, slowly making out the black-eye peaking from below his hoodie, a fresh one, and his cheek seemed to be swollen also.

Hyunseung thought with frustration what he was up to again as he left without a word to get a ice-pack and a medical kit. By the looks of his slightly bloody clothes and limping leg, he was probably hurt in even more places.

Junhyung didn’t push him back as he seated in front of him and pressed an ice-pack against needed parts. Motioning Junhyung to hold, the other obediently did exactly so.

Hyunseung then opened the medical kit as he started working on the other’s eyebrow which seemed to have bled too. Now it was dried up but still seemed pretty bad and needed to be tended to.

“How did you know where I lived anyway,” Hyunseung said as he felt it was up to him to start a conversation.

“I went knocking on every window to see if it was you,” a sarcastic voice replied back and Hyunseung only rolled his eyes, to which the other continued: “I know where everyone lives in this neighborhood, my profession calls for it.”

“Oh.”

“If you want a conversation think ahead more,” he heard Junhyung chuckle very lightly as he hissed soon after, his other hand rising up to his lip which seemed to have started bleeding again. Hyunseung quickly took care of that.

“Where else are you hurt?” Hyunseung asked to which the younger only shrugged.

“Don’t tell me I have to come and get all touchy with you to see where you’d wince from pain…” Hyunseung was the one with sarcastic voice this time, making Junhyung give out a small smile, “Go ahead.”

“Suit yourself. I just tried to save your pants from being ripped…” Hyunseung wandered off while searching for scissors he didn’t seem to find.

“Argh,” he groaned in frustration, “Just take your jeans off, it’d be easier.”

“You should’ve told me before if you wanted to see me strip,” Junhyung said jokingly but got a big glare in response as he did what was asked, leaving him in a over-sized hoodie and quite loose boxers.

“You’re pretty forceful when someone is hurt,” the younger commented again, trying to lift the mood, only earning a “Shut up!”

Hyunseung cringed at the view, his legs really were in bad situation - knees scraped majorly, on his legs there were some wounds of being cut by a knife and those bled badly. The older hurriedly cleaned the wounds up and bandaged the parts, only in the end letting out a small smile as he said, “Your legs look like a mummy’s” to which Junhyung smiled too.

“How about your chest and back? The shirt looks pretty bad too,” Hyunseung asked.

“It shouldn’t be as bad as legs but if you…tsh, you are a pervert,” Junhyung slapped the other in a playful manner, making Hyunseung snort before getting a random pair of pants from his closet and throwing those to Junhyung.

“Put those on and then we’ll get to the upper part.” This time Junhyung didn’t say any remarks and complied immediately. After putting pants on he revealed his upper body which luckily really wasn’t in such as bad state as the legs, except for the arms.

“The wounds aren’t deep enough to leave scars luckily. At least I think so,” Hyunseung said as he tended his arms. Junhyung’s back just had signs of beating, nothing big so he put a bit medication on his back before handing him a shirt too which he put on. This time remarking also, “Got bored of my body so soon? I feel so used,” as he covered his body with his arms as in protection. Hyunseung rolled is eyes once more.

“You look really tired, I think you should sleep,” he said while getting up, and getting his biology textbook from his bed and putting it aside. After that he helped Junhyung up, who limped even more as he was unfamiliar with the pain again after having sat down for so long.

“Your bed is so comfy,” Junhyung said while burying his face in Hyunseung’s pillow.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Hyunseung exclaimed and snatched it away. “Take some other one!”

“So that’s how you treat a sick person,” Junhyung went on again with his act.

“Anyway, get to sleep, I need to finish this part of the textbook as I have a test tomorrow,” Hyunseung said as he saw Junhyung getting comfortable without his limbs hurting too much or pressuring anywhere.

“Leave room for me too,” Hyunseung mentioned before getting immersed in the textbook again.

His attention came back to earth as Junhyung mumbled something.

“Hm?” Hyunseung asked while looking over.

“I just asked if you could scratch my nose, it’s itching but I don’t want to move myself or it’ll hurt again,” Hyunseung practically saw his devilish smile that was hidden under a innocent one as he went over and did as asked. What surprised him was that Junhyung let out slight purring noises.

“What the hell, are you a cat?” Hyunseung commented before going back to the text-book.

“Hyunseung..” He said in a soft voice which the older couldn’t ignore.

“What now?” Junhyung could hear annoyance in his voice which made him grin.

“It’s chilly as the blanket has fallen off a bit, adjust it for me?” Junhyung asked again with the same tone of his voice. Hyunseung slowly got up and went over him to adjust the blanket. But as he was doing so he caught Junhyung’s gaze who looked at him.

“Wow, your eyes are so big and overall, I didn’t know you were actually that good-looking out of those clothes you wear at school. I wonder why the female population isn’t running storm at you,” Junhyung commented while staring into the other’s eyes who broke the contact and left as fast as he could.

He felt uncomfortable. Hyunseung even at times totally despised his looks. It creates different thoughts and hopes. Hopes to believe the better words. But Hyunseung knows better that hope always fails. That’s why he shows indifference as he goes back to his textbook but doesn’t even manage to sit down as Junhyung calls his name again.

“What?!” He snaps at him but regrets it soon after as Junhyung had now managed on puppy-dog eyes filled with hurt as he even made a sound of a whining dog.

“I just wanted to have some water to distract my thoughts from pain…” He said with a quiet voice and Hyunseung knew it was to raise compassion but he didn’t actually have any other choice as he grabbed the water bottle and made it over to the younger, already unwinding it.

Junhyung opened his mouth as Hyunseung poured just a tiny bit of water. He didn’t want to choke the other.

As Hyunseung was about to stand up for the hundredth time he felt something holding onto his sleeve.

“I know this is stupid but…could you study out loud or read? I really need some diversion from the pain,” Junhyung said, this time seriously. Hyunseung gave him a suspicious glance but still did as requested. Maybe he was really just taking on him due to that reason. And well, what hurt could it do to read this out loud. It can only be useful - one, he falls asleep, or two, he learns next year’s biology.

But it seems he took the first option as Hyunseung discovered his ears catching a steady breathing rhythm. He had finished the chapter so he looked over at the other. Even though he was involved in some serious business and his mind was quite evil and malicious, Hyunseung really thought he definitely had a brighter side to him apart from all the acting. A side that could appreciate people and take them for who they are and live life to their fullest. Hyunseung really hoped the younger would be able to do that one day.

Everyone would’ve agreed with him seeing Junhyung’s sleeping face. It wasn’t rough even with all those bandages and cuts, it still had that innocence to it which showed how young he was. Junhyung should’ve been enjoying his teenage years, going around dating and partying but there he was, putting his life at risk for who knows what reason.

Hyunseung saw a strand of hair fall on Junhyung’s forehead to which the younger started furrowing his eyebrows as the strand seemed to be tickling. Hyunseung brought his hand up to his face and pushed it aside, the other’s expression easing immediately after that.

The older let out a sigh before laying down himself and going off to the dreamland.

If usually in those awesome films the protagonist was all gone when the other woke up, then after Hyunseung opened his eyes, he still felt Junhyung’s presence behind him. Well, where could he have gone in such state, and how, considering everyone in his family must’ve been awake.

Hyunseung was lucky that no one checked on him at morning’s or they might’ve gotten a wrong impression. Especially as Hyunseung now felt a arm slightly draped around him and not only a presence but a real chest against his back, making Hyunseung remove the arm and get up as soon as possible.

It was already much letting the other sleep in his bed but contact was just over the top. Though Junhyung seemed he was used to this, like he was the one to get comfortable like this with everyone easily. Maybe he was like that but there was no point thinking about it.

Hyunseung went downstairs, seeing his mother cooking again. To her great amazement Hyunseung asked for a bit of food which he placed on a big plate and took upstairs soon after. Amazing as he usually just grabbed something fast and left as soon as possible.

Maybe he was coming around - boy how wrong she was.

Junhyung stirred in his sleep as Hyunseung entered the room again. He had a cup of coffee and some fresh bacon with other delicious stuff and the smell reached into the younger’s nose, making it easier to get up.

“Ouch,” Junhyung groaned as his all the wounds must’ve hurt even more than last night when he was still accustomed to those from that long walk he had taken. But now his body had rested and was stranger to the pain again.

“I got you some pain-killers,” Hyunseung said, handing the pill to the other who thanked quietly, his voice hoarse. He took it and looked at the food again. And then he remembered he should’ve taken the pain-killer later and he practically would’ve hit himself against the head if he hadn’t remembered how much it would hurt.

“Don’t worry, I can drink the coffee myself and there is still water,” Hyunseung assured after understanding the other’s problem which made Junhyung smile.

“Don’t you go all smiley-face on me on random situations,” the older boy’s sarcasm was heard again but Junhyung paid no attention to it as he started eating. And boy his appetite was big.

As he ate, Junhyung offered quite number of times some food to Hyunseung who refused, giving out a little white lie that he had eaten. He just felt like the younger should eat as he really seemed like he hadn’t seen food in a very long time. It was especially visible in broad daylight, making him seem old and the softness he once used to have was gone.

Hyunseung found his thoughts wandering again. What will happen if he keeps up with this. His life will most probably be ruined sooner or later. The purity that is still found somewhere within will be gone in some years as that’s what his lifestyle now will do to him. It will take everything away, leaving him with nothing but doubt and even with success, he can trust no one. As the time goes on, the harder it will be to break free.

“Stop it,” Hyunseung said while not really acknowledging himself. His eyes widened as he finally understood that he had said that out loud as Junhyung stared at him before glancing back at food, sadness rising up to his eyes.

“I can’t. I want to but I can’t,” he said, playing around with a piece of orange before it disappeared into his mouth.

“Why? Isn’t it the only time? Otherwise you’ll be trapped forever,” Hyunseung kept going. If he had said one thing already he decided he should get to know everything possible.

“Not at the moment. Maybe the time will come, maybe not. But right now I can’t, it’s too difficult,” Junhyung said with total seriousness in his voice which made Hyunseung understand that that’s how it was. He had no choices at the moment even though he waited for those.

Or was waiting just an excuse to hide that he was scared. Scared of what might come out of this if he really did take action. Could he get away? Or are the bonds really that strong that they bind you forever. Hyunseung can only wish luck to the other in search for his path as he seems to be missing one.

Life path. Even Hyunseung doesn’t have one for certain even though he is finding it slowly. Too bad his plans are slightly being ruined by his step-father but he intends to fight. After all, what has he got to lose after seeing someone else face with even bigger problems.

Hyunseung only hopes that this isn’t a one-time motivation which soon disappears and he would be back to square one again. He wants his plans to succeed real bad.