[TC4] The Circle

[lykanion]

Title: The Circle
Word Count: 4756
Rating: PG
Pairing: Doojoon/Yoseob
Summary: The Circle side story.


A/N: Yoseob may seem slightly...weak? But in the main story as a character he actually is a lot stronger. It's just the situation.

He got caught and Yoseob knew he was done for when he first saw Yoon Doojoon, he knew it wasn’t even up to him. Maybe he was as shallow as he considered it might’ve been the other’s appearance, but maybe it was the overall feeling, that something that made his eyes fall on him and he felt breathless, choking and uselessly hoping for a miracle.

Yoseob had to forcefully tear his gaze away and focus back on the conversation before him.

They were introduced at a fancy dinner put up in celebration of a huge-scaled contract between the two companies. Nothing special - long speeches, high-class food, women dressed in custom-made dresses and men in their expensive suits. There were people all around him, nasally voices making his head pound (especially nasally when a man approached them in a flirtatious manner). Some he recognized, some not but all he knew that this was still, and always would be, a party to get new acquaintances and allies.

It was boring but for the first time, Yoseob felt glad he had come.

Doojoon’s hand was warm when it met with Yoseob’s and his voice was perfectly low and gentle - pleasing to the ear and good for making buzzing noises erupt in his stomach. As his glass of champagne was taken away and Doojoon kept saying he was too young, Yoseob could only complain because he was not, definitely not that young anymore. But the other didn’t care, that man with an amazing smile only laughed softly, eyes becoming smaller with a certain spark in them that just couldn’t be missed. All his protests were ignored.

Yoseob let out a whine when the other took his hand and spun him around once, a whine out of his character that brought out his aegyo he didn’t like to use at all.

But he really did feel like a child.

And he knew he should mind it more.

He couldn’t help but grin widely when Doojoon pinched his cheeks.

He couldn’t help but glare when Doojoon messed up his hair. Yoseob gave him a slight punch and tried, really tried to do the same but Doojoon’s hands grasped into his as he blocked expertly and Yoseob just couldn’t reach.

He couldn’t help but rant even more when Doojoon laughed at something he said. Yoseob was ready to talk about anything, was ready to say whatever words he had to if only it would make his lips curve into a smile. He wanted to make him laugh just for his own selfishness because it was relaxing, it was unique and it made him forget everything - for what he had come here for, what he was supposed to do, who he was supposed to look out for. His attention was caught and he just couldn’t help it.

The charm he emitted sucked Yoseob in, wrapped tightly all of its legs and hands around him and he really, really had nothing against it. He only wanted to continue, to talk, to steal glances, to accidentally brush against his hand or side, anything. He just wanted to stay around.

It felt so stupid.

And it felt even worse the next day. He wanted to smash his head against the wall because he was supposed to act cool, indifferent and keep up his image but what had he done?

He had giggled around like a little child.

They met again, now outside in the darkness as it was late, in casual clothes as Yoseob had mentioned he liked small cafe’s more than the restaurants they were used to. It was so different but as their eyes met, smiles appeared on both faces.

Yoseob couldn’t take his eyes away.

Doojoon looked attractive in a suit, with perfectly done hair and specially brought out mannerisms but Yoseob couldn’t help but compliment him this time because now, even though he had been handsome, this time Doojoon’s whole appearance was just breath-taking. And the other seemed to be very aware of this little fact.

It wasn’t anything special but something about Doojoon just made his breath hitch for a second or two. A sudden feeling of nervousness burned at the bottom of his stomach and sent its vibes throughout his body - it literally dazed him. The hair which was now slightly messy and being tousled by the wind, the clothes which just were perfect on him, the colours complimenting him once again and his slightly rolled-up sleeves just caught his attention.

And he could never deny how well the tank clung to him and how perfect was the view beyond those open helms of his shirt.

But if only he had known the misfortune this meeting was going to bring. If only he had known what Doojoon’s motives were and he would’ve declined the offer. It would’ve been easy - he could’ve still been in the studio, could’ve tried to find inspiration while gulping down another coffee; If only that and Yoseob could’ve avoided all upcoming mess because this small meeting was the real beginning of everything.

They moved through the cafe, somewhere towards the back where separated rooms for public figures were situated. It was no strange to him as they sat down and made a small chit-chat while choosing.

Making silly jokes about names had never been as entertaining.

And that’s when everything started to go downhill and Yoseob could only blame himself for not noticing. He had never been so wrong in his whole life, had never made such a mistake because he just couldn’t read the situation. Doojoon’s smile was a real thing, had been real when they first met, had been real when meeting up just 30 minutes before and was real every single time it appeared.

But then again, how could he have noticed?

“So, any interesting things going on right now?” Doojoon asked and it seemed just out of curiosity and Yoseob dared to hope. He replied not much thinking about it, said some words about his plans and what he intended to do. He felt like it would make them closer - sharing, getting to know each other, all that usual stuff that people valued so much.

But that’s when Yoseob started to notice how something was off.

Doojoon asked another question and first two seconds Yoseob felt nothing to be wrong with it - it was usual interest but then something hit him. Doojoon took a sip out of his juice before placing his elbow on the table and looked at Yoseob, warm smile on his lips as if he was sincerely interested.

Something was definitely off. It couldn’t be seen, it could only be felt and Yoseob felt it.

Yoseob replied with the same. “I’m not really familiar with it, I didn’t go through the usual trainee time.”

Doojoon chuckled lightly. His response wasn’t anything marking-worthy but it was still obvious and the other didn’t even try to hide it. Yoseob shot him a fast look but was caught. His eyes dropped on the food before him and he couldn’t even voice out a single word and Doojoon didn’t either.

Had he really seemed like so lost in his feelings that he would blabber about anything?

Thinking back to it he understood once again how stupid he had been to even think that a man of Doojoon’s status would so easily be interested. He hated it because for some reason, it felt like a rejection without words. It slapped him across his face knowing what Doojoon had came here for, that he only wanted information, that he tried to find out anything that would benefit him and for that, Yoseob had been an easy target.

Did he really seem so gullible?

“You chose a wrong person though,” he said out, meddling in his food with chopsticks. It was no surprise he had no appetite anymore.

He had assumed too much, had assumed a smile like his hadn’t only been sincere but also with that something special.

Doojoon didn’t even look taken aback, not even the slightest bit as he only smiled in an apologetic manner and Yoseob could feel how all the energy was drained out of him. He listened, answered, let out laughs which weren’t true nor fake.

He knew he was being unreasonable but he just didn’t find himself to care.

Yoseob took only some more bites before thanking him for the treat and he could feel Doojoon’s eyes following him. He only wanted to get away, go back where he would be safe and could immerse in his work - a place where things like these didn’t happen.

He wanted to go but he couldn’t, not when Doojoon’s hand stopped him.

“Look, I’m sorry but you have to understand tha-“ He started but Yoseob cut him off by yanking his hand free. Uselessly, as it was grasped again a second later.

“Yoseob...”

The blonde looked at him, anger rising inside hearing the other say it in such an apologetic manner and he didn’t understand how, how could he be sorry as he still did it, how could he be sorry but Yoseob couldn’t feel he meant it. He had his pride - it didn’t let him smile, didn’t let him say it was nothing. He had came out here knowing if he got caught in a trap or messed something up it would have consequences - something that was always there. It was always complicated.

He knew Doojoon was aware of his interest, was aware that the blonde felt attracted and he had used him, had tried and it made him hate it, hate himself for reasons he couldn’t really voice out.

Yoseob looked up again, up to Doojoon’s eyes when he knew he shouldn’t and his mind told him it was alright, that he deserved it for being played. Yoseob shouldn’t let him off like that, not without anything and even though he knew it was another stupid thing he was going to do, he couldn’t help it. His mind was still irritated, his heart was still lightly pounding and he didn’t think, even though he should’ve because if he had, it would have saved him from another mistake he was going to do.

Yoseob stood up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips softly against Doojoon’s. It was for a second, only a mere second before his feet were securely on the ground again.

Doojoon said nothing when Yoseob left.

He knew it had been a stupid move and if he hadn’t regretted it the second later, it started to sink in on his way back home when dark longs streets brought up the worst thoughts and pebbles just begged to be kicked. But it was still foolishness, absolute idiocy as he couldn’t even trust his own body. It made him want to hit himself, against the wall or even against the lamp-post - anywhere where it would hurt long and good because someone like him should not act like he had, someone like him should know what they’re doing.

It was unacceptable.

Shame made him keep his head down low and he really, sincerely wondered why there was no such thing as a time-machine. And why the hell hadn’t he learned to be a scientist when he had the chance.

And as if that hadn’t been enough, like throwing a tantrum on his bed before sleep hadn’t been enough, like the scene interrupting his sleep hadn’t been enough, he had to wake up to a loud ringtone piercing through his ears. He was calm, gave out a yawn while reaching for his phone and if he had known what to expect, he would’ve turned it off the night before.

But he hadn’t, he answered the call only to pull it far away from his ear as it was loud, the shouts were loud and he didn’t understand why. He heard phrases like what is wrong with you, what were you thinking, don’t go outside and some other curses he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He sat there dumbfounded, sheets around him in a mess. His gaze was fixed on a random point on the wall, not really thinking anything but just sitting there and letting himself fall into the emptiness of his mind.

But then he heard it, voices and a tick went off in his head. It scared him as he hurriedly stumbled towards the window and he hoped, begged it was a parade because if it wasn’t, he was screwed. Yoseob cringed seeing the big crowd of people on the street, far behind the fence but still there and obviously for him. And what was the worst was their posture - impatient, unfriendly, unhappy and annoyed. They looked ready to attack, ready to throw their microphones to get the first news and ready to pull out each other’s hair to keep their place.

Yoseob’s eyes widened as he rushed back to his phone, his hands shaking and mind running frantically. He clicked a few buttons to open a page and he wasn’t even shocked to see his own name on the headlines in big bold text.

But it still terrified him.

He clicked on it fast, spitting out a couple of curses as the site didn’t move, cursed even more when it crashed and he climbed back on his bed while refreshing impatiently. Small mumbles escaped his lips, almost as prayers, hoping it would be fine, hoping it would be a misunderstanding and he could-

Oh.

Or not.

There it was, a picture with a long article. Bad quality from a security camera but still visible and with more than enough details. There he was and Yoseob panicked because this was not supposed to happen. This was just impossible and he must be living in a nightmare because this...

Now he didn’t even remember what being ashamed even meant.

Now he felt guilty, he felt worse than awful and it just took a big chunk out of him. He wanted to hope it was a joke because it felt so unreal. Yoseob really wanted it to be a stupid joke because if it was real, he was done for.

Doojoon.

He fumbled with his phone, hands still trembling as he pressed it against his ear and a soft melody started playing. He didn’t know what he was doing but he had to call, he had to make sure this wasn’t Doojoon’s handiwork, that he hadn’t taken this chance to take Yoseob down with his whole company.

He had to admit he hoped it for all the wrong reasons.

“Ah, it’s you,” A calm voice sounded through his ears and suddenly he couldn’t speak. His throat clogged up and he just now just realized that this really was reality, that this was what he was facing with and he had no way out. Now it was finally going to end him.

“Look what you did now.” His voice continued and Yoseob wanted to apologize, wanted really to say how stupid he had been because he didn’t want this, he didn’t want any of this to happen. He still wanted to see the world, make music and entertain. He was young with so many aspirations.

He didn’t want to disappear.

“I’m-“ Yoseob choked out but his attention diverted as the front door was opened. His manager stepped in with a couple of body-guards and assistants but stopped in their tracks seeing Yoseob on the phone. They didn’t look angry, they looked emotionless and only the manager looked like he was sorry, so sorry and Yoseob could see there was nothing good waiting for him.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Doojoon’s words echoed through his mind as the line went dead again and Yoseob had never hated those beeps more than now. It felt agonizing. He put his hand in a fist and punched against the mattress but it didn’t help - it was too soft, didn’t hurt but only thing that could save him right now was being hurt.

He tried again with his other hand but still nothing. His both hands stayed put on the bed, head hung low as hair fell to his eyes and he could hear his manager take steps closer.

He attended meetings, had thought up countless reasons as to how to explain the situation. It was only luck that Doojoon’s face hadn’t been captured, that it was just from an angle that said it was a male but no identity came out in the next headlines.

He was glad at least for that.

But as for him, it didn’t seem to go that smoothly. Yoseob was constantly being bombarded by the media, questions at his every step and everything he did only raised even more suspicions which brought even more accusations. He couldn’t help but become slightly numb, he couldn’t help it as there was no right way to respond. He got used to it and even though it still hurt, he managed.

Everything the company did was useless - they tried to buy it out, no results; tried to let it cool down before taking their stance, also to no avail. It was frustrating as Yoseob knew nothing, only heard news from the internet but what he did know was that this was not a matter of money anymore, this was a matter of missing connections.

Because money they had but for some reason it didn’t solve anything.

But he was surprised again and maybe, just maybe luck hadn’t deserted him. Maybe it was a lesson, maybe he took everything for granted but whatever it was, Yoseob couldn’t be happier.

It was another morning when the phone rang, a usual thing in the last weeks but this time there were no strict orders, no check-up questions, nothing. His voice wasn’t even alerting, wasn’t anything that would make him fear for the upcoming day.

Instead it was slightly sad.

And Yoseob couldn’t help but think if he was dreaming again because it wasn’t possible. The grasp he had on his blanket loosened up as he listened, his mouth fell slightly apart hearing what was waiting ahead of him.

He was surprised, really surprised. Astonished, flabbergasted, name it.

But he didn’t just understand. He was happy, overjoyed about the change but he didn’t understand why. Yoseob couldn’t believe it, couldn’t see it even though he wanted to. Ehen Doojoon had everything on the palm of his hand, when he could make his rivalling company disappear like having never existed - why would the company take this burden on their own shoulders?

He didn’t understand when he was at fault for everything.

He didn’t understand why Doojoon chose to get involved.

But even though the luck was on his side, then fate definitely wasn’t. It was still making him suffer for that small mistake because just as he woke up, feeling fresh and ready for the day he noticed his phone blinking on the side and his eyes widened.

He let out a loud curse as he stumbled on his feet, almost falling over while throwing on his clothes and dashed out of the door.

He was late, way too late to make it.

He cursed the car that just now he had difficulty getting running, cursed at the old lady going over the road ever so slowly, cursed at the traffic lights as every single one of them just happened to flash red just before he managed to cross.

Yoseob cursed at everything that he usually didn’t even notice.

He ran as fast as he could, ran while trying to avoid people in the hallways and if he had had a minute to spare, he’d thank the meeting wasn’t on a higher floor. He bumped into various people, bumped into a what seemed to be a trainee and bumped into a lady who instantly wanted an autograph.

He felt guilty having to refuse.

But he made a mental note finding her later.

Fuck.

People were already exiting with chatter and he felt it crashing down on him. He was late, he really was late and he only blamed himself for being a disappointment, hating himself even more than the last weeks because he just missed another chance which he couldn’t have afforded to lose. A chance to get it back on the tracks - he missed it and he had to try, had to try his best to gain it back because without it he was nothing.

Without it there would be no Yoseob anymore.

He crashed into someone who sent him stumbling back a couple of steps and his hand immediately rose to his head from the compact that didn’t even hurt. It was more of a reflex that kicked in at every step, took over his reactions at times even when unnecessary. He tried to smooth down his hair as the other person stabilized the papers he was holding.

“I’m sorry!” The blonde instantly said with a bow and it just seemed to get even worse when he met with the other’s eyes. Out of all the people working there, out of all the important and even more unimportant figures Junhyung had to be the one he bumped into - the guy had his reputation and for the record, it wasn’t nice. But he was also one of the composers Yoseob respected.

Fate just didn’t seem to like him at all.

Junhyung’s eyes widened slightly and in another reflex so did his.

“It’s nothing,“ The other said with a voice that made relief was over Yoseob and he got confused. The usual impression he was used to seeing was nowhere in sight and that voice that sounded so comforting was also so far from his usual intimidating image. This time, to the blonde’s surprise, his expression was relaxed, gentle and he noticed the other cast a look over Yoseob’s shoulder, somewhere far and it made him want to look back, made him want to see what it was that brought out this kind of a Junhyung.

“You’re late!” Doojoon’s voice sounded and he flinched. The tone was harsh and cold and so different, it claimed his whole attention and Yoseob instantly bowed low again with another apology. He had to suck it up, had to keep apologizing until they’d accept him.

It was Doojoon’s playground here and he had to learn the rules to play.

But the steps came closer and he could see shoes passing before him and he hoped, really hoped because there was nothing else he could do.

And then something smacked him against his head, making Yoseob take a step back in surprise as he straightened his back, only to catch a slight glimpse of Doojoon’s back before it disappeared and something about it - he didn’t want to hope too much - something about it told him that he at least won’t be tossed out for good.

Yoseob really wanted to hope.

His eyes fell back on the composer, feeling his gaze burn holes into his skull and Yoseob couldn’t help but shift. The usual coldness was back in his eyes as he just stared, evaluating him, wondering if he was good enough, thinking if he was worth of his time and Yoseob didn’t know what he was supposed to do apart from awkwardly standing there. His hand rose to his hair, trying to flatten the obstinate strands that seemed to be poking out in random directions.

It was up to him only to make everyone see his importance.

But then Junhyung reached out his hand and Yoseob finally dared to glance over again, not even thinking a second before shaking it and letting out another apology.

“Aah I’m really sorry,” Yoseob bowed again, hoping that it was good enough, that for once his innocent looks would come in handy and would made people pity him. He had to use what he had. “Could you give me an overview of the meeting?”

He saw the other glance at his papers before looking back at him and Yoseob didn’t get it how it changed so fast, how his eyes were usually nonchalant as if this was the most boring thing out there and Yoseob really started to wonder if his own had lied before. If he had been imagining it because he couldn’t remember anymore, couldn’t even remember the feeling.

“There was quite a lot, you should be able to catch Doojoon on the third floor if you hurry.”

Yoseob’s eyes widened and he thanked before rushing off.

Better than nothing, right?

He was tired, was sweating but continued. It was just then when it finally dawned, he realized a little thing he should’ve understood earlier, that same little thing what he was running for. Yoseob saw that no managers could get him out of this, that from now on he was on his own like he had never been before and it was a thought that scared him. Knowing nothing about the plans people had made with him, knowing nothing about what he should do and how to act made him confused. He didn’t know anything and he had never felt so lost.

Luckily this company had names along on their doors, making it a lot easier.

He fixed his shirt and tried to tame his hair for the hundredth time before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door. A part of him wanted the other not to hear, to be out or just ignoring, making him grimace as he heard a firm Enter.

The door opened smoothly with no squeaks and he could see Doojoon instantly, sitting on the other side of the room. The glasses were placed on his nose as he was immersed in his work.

He still looked way too attractive.

Yoseob stepped in and Doojoon’s eyes looked up, looked at him and the blonde felt even smaller, more pathetic. The other’s gaze was sharp but easily missed and he let his eyes close for a second as he took off his glasses. His elbows rested on the desk and his fingers did circular motions on his temples for a brief moment.

He leaned back, motioning Yoseob to step closer and take a seat. It was a simple hand gesture, tired but still enough to make the blonde make his way over as fast as possible.

“You should go see the president,” he only said, eyes still on the papers before him as he kept signing and reading. His moves weren’t rough, they were at times swift but never clumsy. He moved with certain grace that was hard to catch but definitely there.

“Yes, I was sent here to gain information about the meeting,” Yoseob said, staring directly at Doojoon and exactly when his confidence started to reappear, when he dared to say words in his usual way Doojoon’s eyes met with his again. Yoseob diverted his gaze immediately.

Maybe it was still the shame he felt for what he had done.

“Ah yes, here,” He said and his hand reached towards another big stack of papers, carefully sliding out few from the middle. The stack stayed as perfect as it had been before.

Yoseob mumbled out a thank you as his eyes fell on the sheets.

“And just to make things clear, I did it because it would be a shame to let such a vocal disappear,” Doojoon said, again having returned to his work, eyes moving fast like reading diagonally.

“Understood.”

It didn’t feel good, it wasn’t supposed to feel good but Yoseob knew he deserved it. He had no right to complain, he had to hold it in. And he did, folding the papers maybe a little bit too harshly before standing up and that’s when Doojoon’s voice caught his attention again.

“Yoseob?”

The blonde turned around again, meeting with his icy gaze before Doojoon looked on the papers again. Those same eyes had been warm once, those lips that were now in a thin line had been smiling. Now it was only a memory, only something to be remembered and even though he didn’t want it, he accepted it.

“I’m sorry.”

Wait -

What?

Why?

“It was entirely my fa-“ Yoseob tried but was cut off immediately.

“You’re free to go.” His voice was clear, slightly echoing from the walls.

“But-“

He couldn’t leave, not yet. He had to figure this out how to fix it because it didn’t make sense. It felt like he could fix it if only he was let, if only Doojoon would let him. He could do it, he was-

“Go.”