[ONESHOT] Gone, Lost, Over
Title: Gone, Lost, Over
Word Count: 1706
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: No matter how much they tried, tried so hard to keep it in secret, it was out.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
A/N: Ah thought I'd post it, too frustrated with TLB ^^
Based on Feeling Sad - Lee Joon & Hong Jonghyun
He closes the door which becomes a wall between them. He wants to open it again, in hope to see him, wants to jump back into his arms, wrap his arms around Junhyung’s neck and never let go. Whisper words they have never said. Hide his face into the crook of the other’s neck and feel the arms finally making their way around him. They would pull him tighter to his chest, assuring it is now fine, that he’s never leaving.
They don’t remember what had made them suffer like this. Opposition, negative comments flew their way more than often, not letting them take even a single breath. But Junhyung had led him away, just when it got too much, had taken him somewhere secluded and made Hyunseung look at him in doubt because there were never any guarantees.
The younger then had put his hands on his shoulders, had made sure he understood he was serious. He kept saying everything Hyunseung wanted to hear, kept repeating words until his eyes softened and Hyunseung would smile. It was small but enough for Junhyung to take his hand, giving it a slight squeeze before letting it slip away but Hyunseung always understood and took a deep breath before following.
Junhyung’s hand is on the door, a slight please escapes before he can stop. He leans against it, eyes down because he can’t do anything. Everything is out of his hands and gone too far. He feels having betrayed Hyunseung after promising him happiness, promising everything would turn out just fine.
He had failed.
Gentle words were never enough, obstacles still made the road rocky as no one whose permission they needed understood. They were pushed back without a chance to explain, without any choices before placing an option before them - all or nothing.
And they knew what was bound to happen now finally did.
Hyunseung hears Junhyung’s plea, hears the desperation in his voice because it’s hard for both of them. Having to throw everything away didn’t make sense, receiving the public wrath is not an option and they hate it, hate having born into this society where everything different is butchered to the ground. Anything not fit for the image is not allowed.
And they are bound with contracts.
Hyunseung lets the handle go, stumbles backwards towards the bed and falls. His hand grips the blanket, his teeth grit and his eyes burn. He hates it, hates everything that has come their way. He knows they were both lonely, were hurt and he could feel Junhyung’s pain. But he can’t look at him, he won’t.
It had all began well, they had found each other, had understood when no one else did, had helped each other stand and fight everything this business threw at them. Junhyung had made Hyunseung see his worth, be clear about his aspirations and gave him feelings he never thought to have. Hyunseung had given him a muse in the form of himself, someone who Junhyung never hesitated to use, never hesitated to share his thoughts with because Hyunseung understood, he always did.
Junhyung pushes himself back, stands up straight and blinks to clear his vision. He knows what he has to do, he had heard what the older had said so he turns around, meets with all the sorrowful faces and he breaks a lame joke to which they all let out a pained smile. It hurts way too much, it took a piece of his heart leaving a wide bleeding gap behind.
He walks away, no one stops him, doesn’t try to tell him how it’s going to be fine because they all know the truth - there is nothing else to do. Jacket is thin but he accepts it, he wouldn’t care about the night anyway. He doesn’t know what he could ever care about again.
They would never be able to change words that had always remained unsaid, neither does he have a chance to say them in the future. He would stay quiet while looking at him. They are two from now on, have to deal with the loneliness they both had escaped. He would never be the one to pull him into a loving hug - it only belongs to his dreams he never wants to see again.
Hyunseung hears his steps, hears them fade and silence wrapping him in. He doesn’t know how to face the others, how he’d be able to reach his appointments tomorrow, to film the commercials with a bright smile when it hurts so damn much.
His eyes stop at the picture on the nightstand, his fingers reach for it but it slips just between them, slips and hits the ground. Glass breaks into millions on pieces, the picture falls out of the frame and Hyunseung lets his hand turn into a fist because it feels so empty. Too empty when something else belongs in it, is perfect in his.
He loves the first touch they had. It felt like something had finally gone right, had fallen into place and seemed so right. Junhyung’s arms around him made it even better, the chin on his shoulder always told him it was going to last. It had said the illusion would never break. What a fool he had been.
Junhyung hurries down the stairs, he has to get away, wants to be somewhere where no one could see him, no one would hear him and he could just be, let himself go. He stops for a moment remembering Hyunseung’s eyes when he gave his reply, a sad glint appeared, his hand trembled, wanting to reach out and ask him to say he was joking. Junhyung saw all of it.
He wants to smash his fist into the wall, wants to get rid of the pain in his heart but he doesn’t, he knows he can’t. He has to leave, has to take the burden and leave.
And has to hope.
Hyunseung pushes himself up, looks around to see the crumpled up covers and sees all the shards on the floor, shining as the streetlights make their way inside. It reminds him of still water bound to dry up, to disappear in the end no matter how much it rains. Everything ends.
He gets up and walks to the window, the glass left on the floor behind him, blocks the light and looks outside and his eyes glisten seeing a figure wrap a jacket tighter around him.
They were never bound to be, never should’ve tried and hoped for the impossible - it was too big of a dream. They knew happiness wasn’t meant for them but still waited patiently, taking every last drop of what there was to take. He had been taught to never give up, not until it would end itself.
Junhyung looks around, hurrying with his steps so the rushing air would dry his eyes. He hates it, hates doing this because he feels like he is running away but he doesn’t know what else to do, what else would be right because he just doesn’t know. His eyes dart up and his steps slow down seeing him up there - he drags his eyes away and Hyunseung takes it as an apology. Junhyung continues, picking up the speed again because the air isn’t just enough and his cheeks are warm and he can’t breathe right.
He feels defeated, a long battle has ended. Something so pointless and shouldn’t have been a struggle at all because it had been so perfect. Was it their fault? Were they wrong to have feelings? He doesn’t understand it, doesn’t want to see or hear the explanations why it can’t happen. It was so stupid, so stupid that he wants to put the other on a plane and fly far away where there wouldn’t be any limits, no obstacles at all and they could enjoy it - their lives - and be just like how they deserve to be.
Hyunseung is still frozen, his eyes only moving with Junhyung to see him reaching the corner step by step and he wants to run, wants to scream out to him because he needs him. He doesn’t want to be alone, he can’t stand being without him. But the younger had made him promise.
Promise never to run after him.
He doesn’t see it, he understands but doesn’t want to see it because it feels so wrong. He hates knowing the dreaded end is finally here, and hates having to deal with it even more. But he remembers every single part of their latest meeting, remembers the staff turning away their heads because they had tried, Hyunseung knew they had tried to hide it too. They should have known it was pointless.
Junhyung sits down on a swing, it squeaks below him and he cringes. He looks up high and sees the sky black, no stars and no moon for Hyunseung to see and he can’t take it. He wants to be there for him, wants to be the one whose name comes out between those lips constantly, wants to be the one Hyunseung loves to annoy the most. It’s hard, their whole path had been difficult and he just doesn’t know how he’s supposed to let go.
It’s cold and he likes every bit of it, it feels as cold as his heart in the moment he understood what they were supposed to do. To stop, to stop and concentrate on work because...
Junhyung hates all the words they had used.
They just don’t understand.
Hyunseung walks away from the window, he ignores the texts from the next room, intends to ignore it until the morning when he would have to get up and shine like always. This is his only chance to live it all out because everything has to get back on track. He can’t keep this up.
At another annoying beep he takes up his phone, looks through all of them until his eyes stop at a name. His grasps the phone with his two hands or it’d fall, he doesn’t understand why and he opens the message.
But the phone still falls and Hyunseung after it and he just can’t hold it in anymore.
Word Count: 1706
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: No matter how much they tried, tried so hard to keep it in secret, it was out.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
A/N: Ah thought I'd post it, too frustrated with TLB ^^
Based on Feeling Sad - Lee Joon & Hong Jonghyun
He closes the door which becomes a wall between them. He wants to open it again, in hope to see him, wants to jump back into his arms, wrap his arms around Junhyung’s neck and never let go. Whisper words they have never said. Hide his face into the crook of the other’s neck and feel the arms finally making their way around him. They would pull him tighter to his chest, assuring it is now fine, that he’s never leaving.
They don’t remember what had made them suffer like this. Opposition, negative comments flew their way more than often, not letting them take even a single breath. But Junhyung had led him away, just when it got too much, had taken him somewhere secluded and made Hyunseung look at him in doubt because there were never any guarantees.
The younger then had put his hands on his shoulders, had made sure he understood he was serious. He kept saying everything Hyunseung wanted to hear, kept repeating words until his eyes softened and Hyunseung would smile. It was small but enough for Junhyung to take his hand, giving it a slight squeeze before letting it slip away but Hyunseung always understood and took a deep breath before following.
Junhyung’s hand is on the door, a slight please escapes before he can stop. He leans against it, eyes down because he can’t do anything. Everything is out of his hands and gone too far. He feels having betrayed Hyunseung after promising him happiness, promising everything would turn out just fine.
He had failed.
Gentle words were never enough, obstacles still made the road rocky as no one whose permission they needed understood. They were pushed back without a chance to explain, without any choices before placing an option before them - all or nothing.
And they knew what was bound to happen now finally did.
Hyunseung hears Junhyung’s plea, hears the desperation in his voice because it’s hard for both of them. Having to throw everything away didn’t make sense, receiving the public wrath is not an option and they hate it, hate having born into this society where everything different is butchered to the ground. Anything not fit for the image is not allowed.
And they are bound with contracts.
Hyunseung lets the handle go, stumbles backwards towards the bed and falls. His hand grips the blanket, his teeth grit and his eyes burn. He hates it, hates everything that has come their way. He knows they were both lonely, were hurt and he could feel Junhyung’s pain. But he can’t look at him, he won’t.
It had all began well, they had found each other, had understood when no one else did, had helped each other stand and fight everything this business threw at them. Junhyung had made Hyunseung see his worth, be clear about his aspirations and gave him feelings he never thought to have. Hyunseung had given him a muse in the form of himself, someone who Junhyung never hesitated to use, never hesitated to share his thoughts with because Hyunseung understood, he always did.
Junhyung pushes himself back, stands up straight and blinks to clear his vision. He knows what he has to do, he had heard what the older had said so he turns around, meets with all the sorrowful faces and he breaks a lame joke to which they all let out a pained smile. It hurts way too much, it took a piece of his heart leaving a wide bleeding gap behind.
He walks away, no one stops him, doesn’t try to tell him how it’s going to be fine because they all know the truth - there is nothing else to do. Jacket is thin but he accepts it, he wouldn’t care about the night anyway. He doesn’t know what he could ever care about again.
They would never be able to change words that had always remained unsaid, neither does he have a chance to say them in the future. He would stay quiet while looking at him. They are two from now on, have to deal with the loneliness they both had escaped. He would never be the one to pull him into a loving hug - it only belongs to his dreams he never wants to see again.
Hyunseung hears his steps, hears them fade and silence wrapping him in. He doesn’t know how to face the others, how he’d be able to reach his appointments tomorrow, to film the commercials with a bright smile when it hurts so damn much.
His eyes stop at the picture on the nightstand, his fingers reach for it but it slips just between them, slips and hits the ground. Glass breaks into millions on pieces, the picture falls out of the frame and Hyunseung lets his hand turn into a fist because it feels so empty. Too empty when something else belongs in it, is perfect in his.
He loves the first touch they had. It felt like something had finally gone right, had fallen into place and seemed so right. Junhyung’s arms around him made it even better, the chin on his shoulder always told him it was going to last. It had said the illusion would never break. What a fool he had been.
Junhyung hurries down the stairs, he has to get away, wants to be somewhere where no one could see him, no one would hear him and he could just be, let himself go. He stops for a moment remembering Hyunseung’s eyes when he gave his reply, a sad glint appeared, his hand trembled, wanting to reach out and ask him to say he was joking. Junhyung saw all of it.
He wants to smash his fist into the wall, wants to get rid of the pain in his heart but he doesn’t, he knows he can’t. He has to leave, has to take the burden and leave.
And has to hope.
Hyunseung pushes himself up, looks around to see the crumpled up covers and sees all the shards on the floor, shining as the streetlights make their way inside. It reminds him of still water bound to dry up, to disappear in the end no matter how much it rains. Everything ends.
He gets up and walks to the window, the glass left on the floor behind him, blocks the light and looks outside and his eyes glisten seeing a figure wrap a jacket tighter around him.
They were never bound to be, never should’ve tried and hoped for the impossible - it was too big of a dream. They knew happiness wasn’t meant for them but still waited patiently, taking every last drop of what there was to take. He had been taught to never give up, not until it would end itself.
Junhyung looks around, hurrying with his steps so the rushing air would dry his eyes. He hates it, hates doing this because he feels like he is running away but he doesn’t know what else to do, what else would be right because he just doesn’t know. His eyes dart up and his steps slow down seeing him up there - he drags his eyes away and Hyunseung takes it as an apology. Junhyung continues, picking up the speed again because the air isn’t just enough and his cheeks are warm and he can’t breathe right.
He feels defeated, a long battle has ended. Something so pointless and shouldn’t have been a struggle at all because it had been so perfect. Was it their fault? Were they wrong to have feelings? He doesn’t understand it, doesn’t want to see or hear the explanations why it can’t happen. It was so stupid, so stupid that he wants to put the other on a plane and fly far away where there wouldn’t be any limits, no obstacles at all and they could enjoy it - their lives - and be just like how they deserve to be.
Hyunseung is still frozen, his eyes only moving with Junhyung to see him reaching the corner step by step and he wants to run, wants to scream out to him because he needs him. He doesn’t want to be alone, he can’t stand being without him. But the younger had made him promise.
Promise never to run after him.
He doesn’t see it, he understands but doesn’t want to see it because it feels so wrong. He hates knowing the dreaded end is finally here, and hates having to deal with it even more. But he remembers every single part of their latest meeting, remembers the staff turning away their heads because they had tried, Hyunseung knew they had tried to hide it too. They should have known it was pointless.
Junhyung sits down on a swing, it squeaks below him and he cringes. He looks up high and sees the sky black, no stars and no moon for Hyunseung to see and he can’t take it. He wants to be there for him, wants to be the one whose name comes out between those lips constantly, wants to be the one Hyunseung loves to annoy the most. It’s hard, their whole path had been difficult and he just doesn’t know how he’s supposed to let go.
It’s cold and he likes every bit of it, it feels as cold as his heart in the moment he understood what they were supposed to do. To stop, to stop and concentrate on work because...
Junhyung hates all the words they had used.
They just don’t understand.
Hyunseung walks away from the window, he ignores the texts from the next room, intends to ignore it until the morning when he would have to get up and shine like always. This is his only chance to live it all out because everything has to get back on track. He can’t keep this up.
At another annoying beep he takes up his phone, looks through all of them until his eyes stop at a name. His grasps the phone with his two hands or it’d fall, he doesn’t understand why and he opens the message.
But the phone still falls and Hyunseung after it and he just can’t hold it in anymore.