[TLB15] The Last Bridge
Title: The Last Bridge - Chapter 15
Word Count: 5884
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Two boys meet, each with their own problems. What path has life laid out for them?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
A/N: I apologize as the sentencing goes worse by each paragraph. I'm a person that is never satisfied but I felt like I had to post it today...So... That's why I hate long chapters :X Overall...Junhyung and Hara thing won't stop me (thinking on writing some fluff even though...my notebook is full of angst ideas I'd like to write), I'm intending to do a sequel to Intruder Series as well...I promised. anyway, comment and constructive criticism is always appreciated!!
Hyunseung opened his eyes gradually, for a moment confused of his surroundings. He rolled around lazily, finding one leg to be tangled up in the blanket making him quite irritated. It’s always said not to play attention to it - how easy they make it sound. Easy, not considering that he hated feeling somewhat stuck; hated feeling trapped and hated feeling helpless. He dreaded it.
Freeing his leg released all the tension that had been building up and making him annoyed mixed with nervousness like a cherry on top. Needing to taste the acquired freedom, he waved his leg around, enjoying every brush of air that felt freshening against his skin. Hyunseung couldn’t believe how silly he was at times.
Satisfied after taking care of such an important matter, he lied back down, finding weird comfort waking up in a place not his but still feel secure. And Junhyung felt to be near, he could sniff him everywhere; that distinct scent that belonged to him, that distinct scent which always made him lightheaded. His mind would give in, his heart would send buzzing signals through his body, his senses would awaken but also be in deep slumber. Everything he used to despise.
Hyunseung let his gaze hit the ceiling, willpower to get up had disappeared to unknown realms. He wanted to wait, a small part of him planning to pretend to be asleep and let the younger see a part of him which he hoped would be cute. He wondered if Junhyung would sit down on the verge of the bed and spend a bit time there, would he brush Hyunseung’s hair out of his eyes, or would he just leave again. The chosen option wouldn’t matter as long as he didn’t need to face matters he hoped to avoid, so he could keep hiding himself from everything and enjoy what he was given.
But he knew there was no escape from reality.
There was slight noise coming from the other room, it sounded like plates or such colliding and Hyunseung didn’t even notice when his eyes had changed its focus to the door. The door which led to the person he wanted to see. The only obstacle that in his mind shouldn’t be there at all.
There would be awkwardness, at least for him, but he could deal with it. He could just press it to the background, he had kind of slowly mastering the art of it.
Hyunseung must’ve slept too long, his mind wasn’t working as it should yet and all he wanted was to wrap his arms around the other and stay like that, the longer the better - obvious sign of over-sleeping as no consequences were taken into consideration. Who knows what would’ve happened if the younger had been there at that point.
But as he had stood up with difficulties to make his plan into success, he didn’t find himself heading towards the door. Instead, his body went in a totally opposite direction, eyes fixated on things he had and hadn’t noticed before, bare feet dragging along the wooden floor. He intended to read something out of his room, at least that what he hoped for. And that’s what his mind seemed to have in plan for the next minutes - find something good. This was a rare chance to be left unused. But the main role was played by curiosity which for once he welcomed.
Hyunseung let his hand drag along the desk, feeling the smooth surface before being stopped by a couple of textbooks on top of each other. Books which reminded their chats about the future, about Junhyung’s aspirations, his goals. How much he would do if given the chance, how he dreamt of seeing himself in the future. Those two books described it well.
Hyunseung placed them back in the exact place with a sad smile before it faltered as something else gained his full attention. He took a few steps closer to it, a small notebook revealed to his eyes; not too big, not too small. Just big enough to be carried around. And Hyunseung recognized it, had seen it before, had even touched it but never knew what was inside.
He looked around instinctively, ears trying to detect any sounds coming from the other room. And there it was, water was heard running and somehow it assured Hyunseung that it was far enough and he let his fingers ghost over the surface lightly. Junhyung had once compared it to the pitch black nights he seemed to love being in a park. But also he was drunk. This notebook now in his hands’ reach, the desire for knowledge flamed higher. He wanted to know, the aftermath didn’t matter. The regret.
He couldn’t help it.
No one could blame him, right? It wasn’t his fault for the notebook being so tempting to his eyes, giving off the feeling of a forbidden fruit singing its melody that can’t be unheard. The black covers gave sign of how old it must’ve been - the edges were worn-out, the grey ragged material was showing from below. The sight even the last bits of cautiousness vanish into thin air. If steps would be heard, he’d continue, if his voice would be called, he’d ignore it - it only gave him an adrenaline rush as he reached for it again, letting fingers grasp around it slowly but with no hesitation.
Some seconds were spent in silence, with that carelessness a part of his mind still ready to detect anything suspicious. He opened it, his fingertips brushing against the pages minimally. The notebook seemed as old as from outside - there must’ve been a reason for Junhyung to use this. Some pages seemed to have come out, some extra pieces were stuck between, and most of the pages were dirty. Mud, just fingerprints, stains of liquid and…
Was that blood?
Hyunseung’s eyes widened as he shut it after the brief skim, only to open it again from the beginning, now intending to go over it with more attention. But he only found an empty page. Stained, but empty. What was the reason for this, Hyunseung couldn’t even imagine. And so were the next 5 or 6 pages. All clean.
And then finally a page appeared which had writings on it. Handwriting messy as ever, hard to decipher which probably was the point all along. By this he could be some doctor’s assistant and write receipts which Hyunseung could never make anything out of. Luckily his wasn’t as drastic, but it still didn’t seem to be a schedule he had hoped to find.
It looked like…
Lyrics?
Hyunseung furrowed his eyebrow as he skimmed through the next pages. It all seemed to be full of lyrics and notes, even the tucked in pages were mostly music sheets. There didn’t even seem to be any kind of secret code.
Letting his eyes go over the lyrics, he hoped he’d have time to analyze it for a bit, in hope to find out more about Junhyung as a person. In hope to see what he has gone through, in hope to see what he sees. The younger wrote about his life, he had mentioned it before and even searched for inspiration. All those nights spent on sitting on his bed, trying to feed Junhyung ideas or helping him to connect those.
But he had no time for that, Hyunseung skimmed on, page after page, hurriedly as the anxiety was rising, now the gentle turns replacing with stronger ones, and the knowledge that Junhyung was going to enter sooner or later made his nerves gather into a bundle. He unfolded every single piece of paper, trying to keep it quiet but still fast. Hyunseung couldn’t even believe what he was doing.
Notes, more notes, music sheets, random scribbling. There were too many loose papers, making the notebook way too thick. And as it was nearing to the end he found himself feeling guilty. Feeling guilty for using someone’s trust who told him clearly to stay away. Guilty for being so selfish. But apart from that, the notebook was still in his hands and the adrenaline was roughly pumping through his veins as he practically could feel his heart thumping in his throat, eyes nervously snapping to the door at every single sound.
Aha.
One paper seemed to be different, way too different, making Hyunseung unfold it with anticipation. It had some numbers scribbled into it, meaning dates and a pair of eyes scanned over it quickly. Those dates didn’t ring any bells nor he could connect the names but the information could prove to be useful in the future.
And then his eyes fell on the ongoing day. Hyunseung’s heart sank. He had hoped to find a meeting, or even two, but what his eyes saw wasn’t what he had expected to see. Junhyung seemed so used to it, seemed so carefree considering his situation, but now those dark eye-bags seemed to make sense even more, clothes which were sometimes the same two days in a row made also sense, his hair which hadn’t seen a comb before the lessons. It all made sense. His schedule was hectic.
Hyunseung let out an unsatisfied quiet growl. There weren’t any specific details, only initials or what looked like code-names (Who the hell would call someone ‘Iron-piggy’) His curiosity wasn’t filled, he needed more. He wanted to know more, now to quiet down another wave of guilt for taking up all his free time, for annoying him thinking he had nothing better to do.
He snapped the notebook shut. He knew he should stop. Letting his fingers go over the notebook for the last time, over the initials in the corner before placing it back down, leaving no traces that it had been touched at all.
Trying to distract his thoughts he went to satisfy his curiosity with other things. There wasn’t much found though. That coke-fort was the first thing to catch his eye, but there were also a couple of fluffy animals, random stickers which he definitely hadn’t put there himself, a carton of cigarettes, more books, more music sheets, woman’s underwear, CD’s,…
Wait…What?
Hyunseung looked back to the bed, from below it something caught his eye. Something that made him take a couple of steps closer to have a better look. Something he already recognized without those unnecessary steps.
A red thong. Red lacy thong which made Hyunseung shivers go along his back. He rolled his eyes before turning around. What was this disappointment?
Well…This was kind of expected. He thought as he looked away, probably trying to forget all those thoughts that accompanied with it. But it didn’t help, he felt himself to be brought back on the earth, making sure he knew where he stood. He was a friend. The only thing he can do was to dream, it’s allowed to do so but he hadn’t noticed how lost he had gotten in the midway.
Should I pull back? Was he the person who always had to watch on the sidelines? Ironic. Who would have guessed he was the one to be in such a sticky situation even though everything was clear. Why is he letting himself sink too deep?
Junhyung had given many signs of what he thinks on the matter. Why does Hyunseung keep ignoring those?
He shot a last look at the bed. So much from the good memories he just gained. It was all gone, replaced with some sort of disgust as he remembered whose bed it was. Remembered that lacy thong, thought on how many women he must’ve fucked on that same bed he had fallen asleep on so easily, how many has he made moan out so loud that the old lady upstairs would have to cover her ears.
How many have got Junhyung the way he never will.
Hyunseung dragged his eyes away from the bed and gave out a deep sigh. He sorted his thoughts before it got too far and made his way towards the door. This was no time to be childish but he couldn’t stay there any longer. He had to get out.
“Hey,” a cheerful voice welcomed him and for unknown reasons all the irritation was gone seeing the glint in the other’s eyes, “I was just about to wake you up with a good-morning kiss.”
Hyunseung snorted at the other but the corners of his lips tugged into a smile as he saw food on the table. All the smells mixed with one from the coffee - it seemed perfect.
“It may not be good but oh well, I tried.” Junhyung tried to make excuses while scratching the back of his neck, but soon after he sat down.
Hyunseung was still standing there, smile having conquered his face as he kept looking at the table and the person behind it. From since he can remember he had never had a decent breakfast, all it always consisted of was an apple that got lost from the kitchen. At least that’s what his mother took care of, to have enough fruit in the house. He couldn’t help thinking it was all pointless. Her mother always made breakfast but Hyunseung never appeared and they had gotten used to it.
They understood him in a way, he didn’t want to sit there with the awkward feeling crushing down on him and they felt the same. Why do that when you can avoid it? Avoid it and also the arguments that come along.
In deep of his mind he didn’t hate his family. His mother had done enough already as she found herself a husband that was willing to take care both of them when they were on the verge to be thrown out on the street. Hyunseung still remembers the days he could only eat bread crusts and his mother’s apologetic smile. How she had hugged him and shushed that it was going to be fine.
But Hyunseung hadn’t cared about it, the only thing he had wanted to see was his mother smile again. And it had happened soon, very soon when a mysterious man appeared into their lives and took them in.
So it was a strange feeling to see food laid out in front of him in this manner. To see the sun shining in, the spots it shone on warm below feet and the air around the room seemed brighter, giving it a soft glow he thought was only seen in movies. He felt warm, glad, and appreciative. He felt accepted for the first time in a while. Accepted for being him.
For being Hyunseung.
And it felt especially nice knowing by whom.
“Come on, sit down,” the same person said, noticing Hyunseung standing who didn’t seem to know what to do apart from staring. The latter snapped out of it and without further words did as told.
He stared at Junhyung who was busy trying to chase a strawberry that had no intentions of being eaten, tongue dragging on along his lower lip in determination. The sight made Hyunseung forget his guard, be more risky as he found himself staring once again quite shamelessly. A stare that could give him away in a millisecond if the other was about to raise his gaze.
But that didn’t seem too bad at the moment.
Not that he could even stop if he wanted to seeing how the sun reflected back from his hair, showing off the texture he already missed touching, how it made his orbs especially deep and attracting, even giving that mysterious dark glow when he was looking down. How the light shone on his skin, complimenting his complexion and facial structure.
It was far different from his own little dark room where the curtains were always closed, far different as most of the times he didn’t even see him before he disappeared. Hyunseung would believe if he told he was a ninja. Only thing he now knew was that from now on, opening his curtains was going to be the first thing he was going to do when the younger stayed for over-night.
Who knew there was another set of feelings which were awoken from a simple look. Feelings which once again he couldn’t explain but didn’t want to get rid of either. He suddenly wanted to spoil the younger, spoil him so much that he would never leave and if he did he’d always come back. Hyunseung knew he was stuck deep, so deep that there was no way out anymore.
How was he supposed to keep his eyes away?
Hyunseung cleared his throat. “Though guess what I found.” He started, just trying to keep up the light mood.
Junhyung didn’t reply so Hyunseung joked with a big grin as if he had discovered something that was supposed to be a secret. “I know you have weird fetishes but please stuck it back to your underwear collection if you don’t want to wear it anymore.”
Junhyung almost choked on his choice as he sent Hyunseung a look as if he was crazy. The elder only gave out a laugh as he twirled the fork around his fingers.
“Just saying,” Hyunseung led the last part up higher. Junhyung snorted in disbelief, obviously dumbfounded what nonsense his ears had to hear and he shook his head but as Hyunseung still kept grinning. Junhyung squinted his eyes slightly. “You’re joking, right?”
The older plopped a strawberry into his mouth, now managing on a knowing smirk. “Nope.”
Junhyung raised his eyebrows before giving his attention to the sandwich. From a brief look one would say he had dismissed it already but Hyunseung knew better because his strategy of feeding information often left the younger confused. Soon enough Junhyung’s expression cleared up as a smile appeared.
“Aaah! MiSun! She came over yesterday, probably got the key from the next-door neighbor, he is weak to women,” Junhyung said while taking small bites out of the other fruit pieces he had cut. “Quite a shame, I had to send her away. Damn she’s a good stripper though…”
Hyunseung rolled his eyes again before resting his elbow on the table, cheek against the back of his hand. Suddenly he felt he shouldn’t have said anything at all.
“What?” Junhyung gave out a hearted laugh before getting a sip of his drink. And as Hyunseung didn’t say anything, the younger continued.
“She has quite a reputation though but lately I’m getting bored of such things, you know?”
Hyunseung’s ears perked up as he immediately raised his gaze from the food. The younger was looking in a whole another direction but Hyunseung couldn’t help but feel how thoughts where doing a marathon in his head. Was this…hope?
Hyunseung shook his head unnoticeably.
“Oh well, I’ll go get rid of it since it traumatized you,” He passed Hyunseung, managing to avoid the shove the elder was about to give him and disappeared into the other room with a gloating laugh. Hyunseung shoved a piece oh his own sandwich into his mouth in frustration.
A hand landed on his shoulder, making Hyunseung jolt in his seat and turn around in a millisecond, eyes wide with a startled look on his face. It was even worse as the first soft touch that was still lingering turned into quite a firm one. He met with Junhyung’s set of orbs which now weren’t glowing with a cheerful glint, they now flashed with something Hyunseung had almost forgotten. With something that slightly frightened him and reminded another side of the boy, and he still didn’t know how awful it was.
“Wh-what? What’s wro-” Hyunseung asked nervously, unable to pull his eyes away, stuck and imprisoned in those dark orbs as he was cut off immediately by the other.
“Haven’t I told you not to touch my notebooks?” His tone was icy, dripped with roughness, expression as deadly as it could get. He seemed cold, almost like a statue, only the hand on his shoulder kept reminding it was still the same Junhyung. The hand which he had gotten used to touch him with care.
“What are you ta-“ His voice was now weak, slightly trembling.
“Don’t play stupid. Keep. Away,” he interrupted again, tightening the grip on Hyunseung’s shoulder which made the latter squirm. He knew he should’ve kept away, he knew he should’ve resisted, he knew he was stupid.
The younger must’ve seen his effect, must’ve seen how Hyunseung’s eyes squinted with something he didn’t want to, must’ve felt him trying to ease the grip, and his gaze dropped to the floor as he gave out a loud sigh, hand also falling, fingers dragging along the arm while doing so.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice still low but quiet, the former sharpness was gone, “I’ll send you home.” No looks were given to the elder; instead he got a jacket and handed it to him. Hyunseung also didn’t say anything, he accepted it and followed.
He understood. He deserved it.
Hyunseung walked towards the sea. The horizon wasn’t seen yet, half of the reason being also the sun that was still shining brightly which made him squint his eyes. It was getting late, the work-day was finished as conversations were heard from the gardens, obviously grilling, the sight that made mouth water. The smell was absolutely everywhere. To get away from it, Hyunseung fastened the pace as his stomach was growling, certain reminder of having had no dinner. He didn’t want to see their faces yet.
And they didn’t seem to mind it either.
Getting out was easy, he used Junhyung as an excuse, stating he had something urgent why he needed to see him. Which was true in some way, the latter messaged him, but only with one word which spoke more than enough. There was still something weird, especially after the follow-up message came which also contained only one word.
Hyunseung looked down on his hand which was carrying a box of nails. Was he building something?
It all seemed empty from afar but getting closer he heard some rustling from the inside. Mostly all the noises were carried away by the wind, which blew in the opposite direction.
And there was Junhyung, crouching over what seemed to be a wooden door and hammering something. The elder’s eyebrows rose in a questioning matter and he tried to lean right to see what he was doing.
“Junhyung?”
“Waah!” The younger jumped up and turned around at a lightning speed. He looked startled at first but his expression eased. Junhyung brought a hand to his chest and breathed out deeply for a couple of times.
“Don’t scare me like that.”
Hyunseung’s fingers fidgeted around the box. “Sorry…”
“But…You seem tired, didn’t you get any sleep at all?” Junhyung asked as he stepped closer, eyeing the other who changed the leg he was supporting his weight on to avoid the overwhelming feeling of being uncomfortable. It was nagging him in the stomach, he hated it. He wanted to be as carefree as Junhyung who handles everything with ease.
“Just an annoying thug around the house,” Hyunseung replied fast and tried to change the topic, “Anyway, what are you up to?” He looked around, seeing different kinds of tools scattered around the floor. There weren’t a lot, but also the space wasn’t big either.
There was no answer.
“I don’t need you to step on something sharp…,” he continued as he leaned down to pick up a saw that was lying around carelessly. It was the least he could do but as his fingertips were about to touch it, he was pulled back up.
Junhyung’s eyes were staring into his again, staring as trying to figure out something.
“What?” Hyunseung let out an awkward laugh and stepped away, ready to get that annoying saw but the arm had a tight grasp around his which the elder made sure of as he was softly yanked back again. The touch sent warmth through his body, leaving not a single part out and the elder didn’t even know what to do with it. It felt too perfect.
“You should at least eat.” Junhyung’s gaze was fixated somewhere else but Hyunseung still froze as he felt the box of nails replaced by something softer before the grasp was released. He felt chilly again, uncertainness wrapping his hands around him immediately. Was he supposed to say anything now? Was he supposed to joke and hit him on the shoulder?
“Thanks for remembering to bring these,” Junhyung said while crouching down again, stabilizing his position before putting a couple of nails between his lips as he started working. Hyunseung could only look at his back, certain muscles seen moving below the tight-fitting shirt, moving with every hit, moving with every action. The sight was appealing. It had been unexpected right from the message, unexpected what he was going to be doing here.
Now he knew. And he was amazed once again.
He really was a hard-working person. Not once in his life he seemed to have free time just for himself. To fulfill his own selfish desires that nowadays teenagers had. To be at ease and party the night’s away. Nothing. Junhyung always seemed to be on the move, always seemed to be doing something, always busy. Always stressed.
But he always made time for Hyunseung. Time, where he inconsiderately poured out his troubles, his thoughts, his worries. And the younger listened, eyes radiating some kind of glow, assurance that it was going to be fine, making Hyunseung lose all barriers and spill everything. He had no escape.
Junhyung was never like that. When they had met, so many similarities could be seen but the younger had made Hyunseung’s habit slowly disappear as while he stayed the same. The elder couldn’t succeed answering with the same. It wasn’t as easy as he had expected and for once, for once he thought that Junhyung’s barrier was way too strong for him.
Deep down the difference was seen easily.
Or was this just an excuse for Hyunseung for his incapability?
The item was still in his hand and he looked down at it - a bread bun, quite freshly-made. Another smile emerged on his face which he tried so hard to cover up. Junhyung sure knew how to treat people. He had proven to be a good player, nothing to be impressed about. The other accepted this fact easily but that didn’t mean Hyunseung was fine with it.
No one would…
“Aren’t you hungry?” Hyunseung asked while opening the package. The filling in it was Junhyung’s favorite. He always craved for it and even though Hyunseung had looked at it weirdly, the filling was very uncommon, then after the first bite he also got fond of it. Or even obsessed.
“Naah, I bought it for you,” The younger replied before reaching for another nail.
“Hmm…” Hyunseung crouched down opposite of him, managing on a slight pout on purpose. “What are you doing anyway?” He glanced at the younger, eyes looking down, slightly hidden by eyelashes - he looked concentrated. Hyunseung blinked in surprise as he suddenly met with a pair of brown orbs and a grin. A grin that was too perfect for his own good.
“This place looks like crap,” he said, looking back down, continuing.
“Hmm…” Hyunseung mumbled in thought. “It’s good when you’re feeling down though,” he said, pulling a piece from the bun which without further thought was brought to the other. Junhyung raised his head again, eyes slightly widening before glancing at Hyunseung’s.
Was it really that surprising? Did he think the elder was going to trick him?
There was a silent moment worth of a second or two before Hyunseung’s expression matched with the one on the other. “Erm…I mean…” The move had been unplanned, totally out of the blue and he felt like he should slap himself mentally. Yes, it seemed like a good idea.
Hyunseung lowered his hand back. It was always so natural when Junhyung did it to him, how his eyes would lighten up and sometimes going even as far as making a plane noise while moving it around in the air. It fit him so well. Why was it so awkward the other way around?
Junhyung eyes still bored into his. He was thinking. But soon he surprised Hyunseung by opening his mouth, orbs losing the connection with his as lids slowly covered them. The elder looked at him warily but still brought the piece of bun back near his mouth, hesitating before letting it touch his lower lip to which the younger leaned forward just slightly and let his teeth grab around it, pulling it into his mouth.
Hyunseung pulled away immediately as if he had gotten burned by fire. It felt strangely satisfying.
“Not bad.” A comment came from the younger with an expression that somehow relaxed the other’s nerves. Such actions were exchanged lately more and more and Hyunseung was slowly acknowledging that it was weird. Plain weird. Was a friendship supposed to be like this?
“I guess,” Hyunseung replied and finally took a bite out of the bun.
It was quite dim already, the time had passed fast and they hadn’t even noticed the sun setting. But it was all interrupted by another one of Junhyung’s ‘phone-calls’. Phone-calls which meant he was leaving. Hyunseung wanted to stay for a while alone, telling him he’d continue but Junhyung seemed against it. He was practically insisting that he’d go home.
“Here, take it,” Junhyung said hurriedly, pressing something into Hyunseung’s hands before he went to gather the belongings he needed. The elder stood there and looked down. It was a key, quite normal, quite usual and certainly nothing special. It was just a piece of metal, cold, distant, only good for unlocking what it was meant for.
And Hyunseung couldn’t feel happier. It was special. In a way it was the first gift - an item he received from the other, he felt like celebrating it. Felt like expressing it, felt like hugging him. Felt like doing anything to show his appreciation.
But he restrained himself.
“Our work won’t go to waste this way,” the younger had said with a smile and checked the time. Hyunseung had only been able to look at him. He couldn’t form any sentences, his mouth was glued shut and all the words met their end already in his mind.
He knew he later would regret not thanking him. Probably he would write a message, apologizing and thanking him properly there and later fret wondering if the message was too stupid. How easy it was with nowadays technology.
“Anyway, I’ll call you, alright?”
And so he left, his image getting smaller and smaller as he jogged in a tempo that wouldn’t get him breathless. He jogged and Hyunseung finally gave out a sigh and took a look around. All the work had paid off. The wind wouldn’t blow through anymore, the broken window was fixed, and the floor was also taken care off and somehow covered with a nice carpet. They had agreed to get pillows here. And a couple of towels, in case for rain.
It now looked…Cozy.
Hyunseung couldn’t help the butterflies as he locked the newly-made door, who knew Junhyung really was skilled in everything. From now on he could sit here, peacefully. And maybe, just maybe he would meet Junhyung here. And they could sit, side by side, arms touching and just staring into the distance. Lone words would be exchanged.
Preferably it would rain.
For some reason this has turned into ‘their’ place, even from before. It was kind of silly as they hadn’t spent that much time here together, but it was the feeling Hyunseung got, wanted it to be so and felt thankful to the other who had done all of this for him. Had done everything which he will never be able to give back.
How was he so good at it?
The grass was now a bit below his knees. Quite a time had passed but at the same time, he only got to know Junhyung a while ago. To know him, it would take years and to deal with his status beside him, it would take even more years of pain to get used to what was coming. It will never be easy, never he’d be able to even taste that bit of happiness he now acquired from his daydreams in class.
He wanted to be happy. Was it too much to ask?
“Mr. Jang?” A low voice woke him up from his thoughts. A pair of black shoes were in his vision and he slowly raised his eyes, seeing a rather rough-looking man before him, hair the only indicator stating he wasn’t someone from the government.
Hyunseung’s eyes widened. This was not a good sign. They looked far from salespersons, too formal to be tourists. Their suits looked expensive.
What is going on?
He didn’t answer, just raised an eyebrow at the two.
“Mr. Yong would like to have a word. Let us escort you,” the one before him said, adding a small bow to it. The man behind him did the same. Hyunseung’s instinct screamed he should leave as fast as possible, run, whatever it would take to get away. His stomach was filling with fear and anxiousness.
“I don’t really have time at the moment, I apologize,” Hyunseung tried to excuse himself and pass but was stopped by a hand blocking his way and he froze, still trying to maintain that innocent look which should’ve expressed his lack of knowledge what was going on. All his senses were kept sharp.
“I don’t think we made ourselves clear. We have an order to accompany you on your way there,” the one said who still had his hand stretched out. His voice was familiar, he had heard it somewhere. But also he had heard many voices of people Junhyung worked with. It didn’t seem to play much of a role, it only helped him focus as every person from Junhyung’s circle was stamped with a dangerous sign.
The younger’s heart sank. Having no idea how to get out of this situation, he didn’t know which actions should be taken. He tried to observe, search for an option to escape but it proved to be too late - both of the men stood beside him and secured their grasp.
“Fine! Fine!” Hyunseung said and shook them off. “I’ll come, but I have to get back in 2 hours, understood?” There was no point in that sentence but for some reason, for some little reason it gave him assurance to reach back safely. A stupid thing to believe in, such people would never care about it.
But the men still nodded as one took out a blindfold.
“I’m sorry but you are not allowed to see where we are headed,” one of them said with a cold tone when Hyunseung looked at the fold with his eyes wide, obvious fright crossing his features which now couldn’t be held back. His body eased with much effort but his mind was going crazy.
It’s not like he had any choice. Right?
Right?…
Word Count: 5884
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Two boys meet, each with their own problems. What path has life laid out for them?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
A/N: I apologize as the sentencing goes worse by each paragraph. I'm a person that is never satisfied but I felt like I had to post it today...So... That's why I hate long chapters :X Overall...Junhyung and Hara thing won't stop me (thinking on writing some fluff even though...my notebook is full of angst ideas I'd like to write), I'm intending to do a sequel to Intruder Series as well...I promised. anyway, comment and constructive criticism is always appreciated!!
Hyunseung opened his eyes gradually, for a moment confused of his surroundings. He rolled around lazily, finding one leg to be tangled up in the blanket making him quite irritated. It’s always said not to play attention to it - how easy they make it sound. Easy, not considering that he hated feeling somewhat stuck; hated feeling trapped and hated feeling helpless. He dreaded it.
Freeing his leg released all the tension that had been building up and making him annoyed mixed with nervousness like a cherry on top. Needing to taste the acquired freedom, he waved his leg around, enjoying every brush of air that felt freshening against his skin. Hyunseung couldn’t believe how silly he was at times.
Satisfied after taking care of such an important matter, he lied back down, finding weird comfort waking up in a place not his but still feel secure. And Junhyung felt to be near, he could sniff him everywhere; that distinct scent that belonged to him, that distinct scent which always made him lightheaded. His mind would give in, his heart would send buzzing signals through his body, his senses would awaken but also be in deep slumber. Everything he used to despise.
Hyunseung let his gaze hit the ceiling, willpower to get up had disappeared to unknown realms. He wanted to wait, a small part of him planning to pretend to be asleep and let the younger see a part of him which he hoped would be cute. He wondered if Junhyung would sit down on the verge of the bed and spend a bit time there, would he brush Hyunseung’s hair out of his eyes, or would he just leave again. The chosen option wouldn’t matter as long as he didn’t need to face matters he hoped to avoid, so he could keep hiding himself from everything and enjoy what he was given.
But he knew there was no escape from reality.
There was slight noise coming from the other room, it sounded like plates or such colliding and Hyunseung didn’t even notice when his eyes had changed its focus to the door. The door which led to the person he wanted to see. The only obstacle that in his mind shouldn’t be there at all.
There would be awkwardness, at least for him, but he could deal with it. He could just press it to the background, he had kind of slowly mastering the art of it.
Hyunseung must’ve slept too long, his mind wasn’t working as it should yet and all he wanted was to wrap his arms around the other and stay like that, the longer the better - obvious sign of over-sleeping as no consequences were taken into consideration. Who knows what would’ve happened if the younger had been there at that point.
But as he had stood up with difficulties to make his plan into success, he didn’t find himself heading towards the door. Instead, his body went in a totally opposite direction, eyes fixated on things he had and hadn’t noticed before, bare feet dragging along the wooden floor. He intended to read something out of his room, at least that what he hoped for. And that’s what his mind seemed to have in plan for the next minutes - find something good. This was a rare chance to be left unused. But the main role was played by curiosity which for once he welcomed.
Hyunseung let his hand drag along the desk, feeling the smooth surface before being stopped by a couple of textbooks on top of each other. Books which reminded their chats about the future, about Junhyung’s aspirations, his goals. How much he would do if given the chance, how he dreamt of seeing himself in the future. Those two books described it well.
Hyunseung placed them back in the exact place with a sad smile before it faltered as something else gained his full attention. He took a few steps closer to it, a small notebook revealed to his eyes; not too big, not too small. Just big enough to be carried around. And Hyunseung recognized it, had seen it before, had even touched it but never knew what was inside.
He looked around instinctively, ears trying to detect any sounds coming from the other room. And there it was, water was heard running and somehow it assured Hyunseung that it was far enough and he let his fingers ghost over the surface lightly. Junhyung had once compared it to the pitch black nights he seemed to love being in a park. But also he was drunk. This notebook now in his hands’ reach, the desire for knowledge flamed higher. He wanted to know, the aftermath didn’t matter. The regret.
He couldn’t help it.
No one could blame him, right? It wasn’t his fault for the notebook being so tempting to his eyes, giving off the feeling of a forbidden fruit singing its melody that can’t be unheard. The black covers gave sign of how old it must’ve been - the edges were worn-out, the grey ragged material was showing from below. The sight even the last bits of cautiousness vanish into thin air. If steps would be heard, he’d continue, if his voice would be called, he’d ignore it - it only gave him an adrenaline rush as he reached for it again, letting fingers grasp around it slowly but with no hesitation.
Some seconds were spent in silence, with that carelessness a part of his mind still ready to detect anything suspicious. He opened it, his fingertips brushing against the pages minimally. The notebook seemed as old as from outside - there must’ve been a reason for Junhyung to use this. Some pages seemed to have come out, some extra pieces were stuck between, and most of the pages were dirty. Mud, just fingerprints, stains of liquid and…
Was that blood?
Hyunseung’s eyes widened as he shut it after the brief skim, only to open it again from the beginning, now intending to go over it with more attention. But he only found an empty page. Stained, but empty. What was the reason for this, Hyunseung couldn’t even imagine. And so were the next 5 or 6 pages. All clean.
And then finally a page appeared which had writings on it. Handwriting messy as ever, hard to decipher which probably was the point all along. By this he could be some doctor’s assistant and write receipts which Hyunseung could never make anything out of. Luckily his wasn’t as drastic, but it still didn’t seem to be a schedule he had hoped to find.
It looked like…
Lyrics?
Hyunseung furrowed his eyebrow as he skimmed through the next pages. It all seemed to be full of lyrics and notes, even the tucked in pages were mostly music sheets. There didn’t even seem to be any kind of secret code.
Letting his eyes go over the lyrics, he hoped he’d have time to analyze it for a bit, in hope to find out more about Junhyung as a person. In hope to see what he has gone through, in hope to see what he sees. The younger wrote about his life, he had mentioned it before and even searched for inspiration. All those nights spent on sitting on his bed, trying to feed Junhyung ideas or helping him to connect those.
But he had no time for that, Hyunseung skimmed on, page after page, hurriedly as the anxiety was rising, now the gentle turns replacing with stronger ones, and the knowledge that Junhyung was going to enter sooner or later made his nerves gather into a bundle. He unfolded every single piece of paper, trying to keep it quiet but still fast. Hyunseung couldn’t even believe what he was doing.
Notes, more notes, music sheets, random scribbling. There were too many loose papers, making the notebook way too thick. And as it was nearing to the end he found himself feeling guilty. Feeling guilty for using someone’s trust who told him clearly to stay away. Guilty for being so selfish. But apart from that, the notebook was still in his hands and the adrenaline was roughly pumping through his veins as he practically could feel his heart thumping in his throat, eyes nervously snapping to the door at every single sound.
Aha.
One paper seemed to be different, way too different, making Hyunseung unfold it with anticipation. It had some numbers scribbled into it, meaning dates and a pair of eyes scanned over it quickly. Those dates didn’t ring any bells nor he could connect the names but the information could prove to be useful in the future.
And then his eyes fell on the ongoing day. Hyunseung’s heart sank. He had hoped to find a meeting, or even two, but what his eyes saw wasn’t what he had expected to see. Junhyung seemed so used to it, seemed so carefree considering his situation, but now those dark eye-bags seemed to make sense even more, clothes which were sometimes the same two days in a row made also sense, his hair which hadn’t seen a comb before the lessons. It all made sense. His schedule was hectic.
Hyunseung let out an unsatisfied quiet growl. There weren’t any specific details, only initials or what looked like code-names (Who the hell would call someone ‘Iron-piggy’) His curiosity wasn’t filled, he needed more. He wanted to know more, now to quiet down another wave of guilt for taking up all his free time, for annoying him thinking he had nothing better to do.
He snapped the notebook shut. He knew he should stop. Letting his fingers go over the notebook for the last time, over the initials in the corner before placing it back down, leaving no traces that it had been touched at all.
Trying to distract his thoughts he went to satisfy his curiosity with other things. There wasn’t much found though. That coke-fort was the first thing to catch his eye, but there were also a couple of fluffy animals, random stickers which he definitely hadn’t put there himself, a carton of cigarettes, more books, more music sheets, woman’s underwear, CD’s,…
Wait…What?
Hyunseung looked back to the bed, from below it something caught his eye. Something that made him take a couple of steps closer to have a better look. Something he already recognized without those unnecessary steps.
A red thong. Red lacy thong which made Hyunseung shivers go along his back. He rolled his eyes before turning around. What was this disappointment?
Well…This was kind of expected. He thought as he looked away, probably trying to forget all those thoughts that accompanied with it. But it didn’t help, he felt himself to be brought back on the earth, making sure he knew where he stood. He was a friend. The only thing he can do was to dream, it’s allowed to do so but he hadn’t noticed how lost he had gotten in the midway.
Should I pull back? Was he the person who always had to watch on the sidelines? Ironic. Who would have guessed he was the one to be in such a sticky situation even though everything was clear. Why is he letting himself sink too deep?
Junhyung had given many signs of what he thinks on the matter. Why does Hyunseung keep ignoring those?
He shot a last look at the bed. So much from the good memories he just gained. It was all gone, replaced with some sort of disgust as he remembered whose bed it was. Remembered that lacy thong, thought on how many women he must’ve fucked on that same bed he had fallen asleep on so easily, how many has he made moan out so loud that the old lady upstairs would have to cover her ears.
How many have got Junhyung the way he never will.
Hyunseung dragged his eyes away from the bed and gave out a deep sigh. He sorted his thoughts before it got too far and made his way towards the door. This was no time to be childish but he couldn’t stay there any longer. He had to get out.
“Hey,” a cheerful voice welcomed him and for unknown reasons all the irritation was gone seeing the glint in the other’s eyes, “I was just about to wake you up with a good-morning kiss.”
Hyunseung snorted at the other but the corners of his lips tugged into a smile as he saw food on the table. All the smells mixed with one from the coffee - it seemed perfect.
“It may not be good but oh well, I tried.” Junhyung tried to make excuses while scratching the back of his neck, but soon after he sat down.
Hyunseung was still standing there, smile having conquered his face as he kept looking at the table and the person behind it. From since he can remember he had never had a decent breakfast, all it always consisted of was an apple that got lost from the kitchen. At least that’s what his mother took care of, to have enough fruit in the house. He couldn’t help thinking it was all pointless. Her mother always made breakfast but Hyunseung never appeared and they had gotten used to it.
They understood him in a way, he didn’t want to sit there with the awkward feeling crushing down on him and they felt the same. Why do that when you can avoid it? Avoid it and also the arguments that come along.
In deep of his mind he didn’t hate his family. His mother had done enough already as she found herself a husband that was willing to take care both of them when they were on the verge to be thrown out on the street. Hyunseung still remembers the days he could only eat bread crusts and his mother’s apologetic smile. How she had hugged him and shushed that it was going to be fine.
But Hyunseung hadn’t cared about it, the only thing he had wanted to see was his mother smile again. And it had happened soon, very soon when a mysterious man appeared into their lives and took them in.
So it was a strange feeling to see food laid out in front of him in this manner. To see the sun shining in, the spots it shone on warm below feet and the air around the room seemed brighter, giving it a soft glow he thought was only seen in movies. He felt warm, glad, and appreciative. He felt accepted for the first time in a while. Accepted for being him.
For being Hyunseung.
And it felt especially nice knowing by whom.
“Come on, sit down,” the same person said, noticing Hyunseung standing who didn’t seem to know what to do apart from staring. The latter snapped out of it and without further words did as told.
He stared at Junhyung who was busy trying to chase a strawberry that had no intentions of being eaten, tongue dragging on along his lower lip in determination. The sight made Hyunseung forget his guard, be more risky as he found himself staring once again quite shamelessly. A stare that could give him away in a millisecond if the other was about to raise his gaze.
But that didn’t seem too bad at the moment.
Not that he could even stop if he wanted to seeing how the sun reflected back from his hair, showing off the texture he already missed touching, how it made his orbs especially deep and attracting, even giving that mysterious dark glow when he was looking down. How the light shone on his skin, complimenting his complexion and facial structure.
It was far different from his own little dark room where the curtains were always closed, far different as most of the times he didn’t even see him before he disappeared. Hyunseung would believe if he told he was a ninja. Only thing he now knew was that from now on, opening his curtains was going to be the first thing he was going to do when the younger stayed for over-night.
Who knew there was another set of feelings which were awoken from a simple look. Feelings which once again he couldn’t explain but didn’t want to get rid of either. He suddenly wanted to spoil the younger, spoil him so much that he would never leave and if he did he’d always come back. Hyunseung knew he was stuck deep, so deep that there was no way out anymore.
How was he supposed to keep his eyes away?
Hyunseung cleared his throat. “Though guess what I found.” He started, just trying to keep up the light mood.
Junhyung didn’t reply so Hyunseung joked with a big grin as if he had discovered something that was supposed to be a secret. “I know you have weird fetishes but please stuck it back to your underwear collection if you don’t want to wear it anymore.”
Junhyung almost choked on his choice as he sent Hyunseung a look as if he was crazy. The elder only gave out a laugh as he twirled the fork around his fingers.
“Just saying,” Hyunseung led the last part up higher. Junhyung snorted in disbelief, obviously dumbfounded what nonsense his ears had to hear and he shook his head but as Hyunseung still kept grinning. Junhyung squinted his eyes slightly. “You’re joking, right?”
The older plopped a strawberry into his mouth, now managing on a knowing smirk. “Nope.”
Junhyung raised his eyebrows before giving his attention to the sandwich. From a brief look one would say he had dismissed it already but Hyunseung knew better because his strategy of feeding information often left the younger confused. Soon enough Junhyung’s expression cleared up as a smile appeared.
“Aaah! MiSun! She came over yesterday, probably got the key from the next-door neighbor, he is weak to women,” Junhyung said while taking small bites out of the other fruit pieces he had cut. “Quite a shame, I had to send her away. Damn she’s a good stripper though…”
Hyunseung rolled his eyes again before resting his elbow on the table, cheek against the back of his hand. Suddenly he felt he shouldn’t have said anything at all.
“What?” Junhyung gave out a hearted laugh before getting a sip of his drink. And as Hyunseung didn’t say anything, the younger continued.
“She has quite a reputation though but lately I’m getting bored of such things, you know?”
Hyunseung’s ears perked up as he immediately raised his gaze from the food. The younger was looking in a whole another direction but Hyunseung couldn’t help but feel how thoughts where doing a marathon in his head. Was this…hope?
Hyunseung shook his head unnoticeably.
“Oh well, I’ll go get rid of it since it traumatized you,” He passed Hyunseung, managing to avoid the shove the elder was about to give him and disappeared into the other room with a gloating laugh. Hyunseung shoved a piece oh his own sandwich into his mouth in frustration.
A hand landed on his shoulder, making Hyunseung jolt in his seat and turn around in a millisecond, eyes wide with a startled look on his face. It was even worse as the first soft touch that was still lingering turned into quite a firm one. He met with Junhyung’s set of orbs which now weren’t glowing with a cheerful glint, they now flashed with something Hyunseung had almost forgotten. With something that slightly frightened him and reminded another side of the boy, and he still didn’t know how awful it was.
“Wh-what? What’s wro-” Hyunseung asked nervously, unable to pull his eyes away, stuck and imprisoned in those dark orbs as he was cut off immediately by the other.
“Haven’t I told you not to touch my notebooks?” His tone was icy, dripped with roughness, expression as deadly as it could get. He seemed cold, almost like a statue, only the hand on his shoulder kept reminding it was still the same Junhyung. The hand which he had gotten used to touch him with care.
“What are you ta-“ His voice was now weak, slightly trembling.
“Don’t play stupid. Keep. Away,” he interrupted again, tightening the grip on Hyunseung’s shoulder which made the latter squirm. He knew he should’ve kept away, he knew he should’ve resisted, he knew he was stupid.
The younger must’ve seen his effect, must’ve seen how Hyunseung’s eyes squinted with something he didn’t want to, must’ve felt him trying to ease the grip, and his gaze dropped to the floor as he gave out a loud sigh, hand also falling, fingers dragging along the arm while doing so.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice still low but quiet, the former sharpness was gone, “I’ll send you home.” No looks were given to the elder; instead he got a jacket and handed it to him. Hyunseung also didn’t say anything, he accepted it and followed.
He understood. He deserved it.
Hyunseung walked towards the sea. The horizon wasn’t seen yet, half of the reason being also the sun that was still shining brightly which made him squint his eyes. It was getting late, the work-day was finished as conversations were heard from the gardens, obviously grilling, the sight that made mouth water. The smell was absolutely everywhere. To get away from it, Hyunseung fastened the pace as his stomach was growling, certain reminder of having had no dinner. He didn’t want to see their faces yet.
And they didn’t seem to mind it either.
Getting out was easy, he used Junhyung as an excuse, stating he had something urgent why he needed to see him. Which was true in some way, the latter messaged him, but only with one word which spoke more than enough. There was still something weird, especially after the follow-up message came which also contained only one word.
Hyunseung looked down on his hand which was carrying a box of nails. Was he building something?
It all seemed empty from afar but getting closer he heard some rustling from the inside. Mostly all the noises were carried away by the wind, which blew in the opposite direction.
And there was Junhyung, crouching over what seemed to be a wooden door and hammering something. The elder’s eyebrows rose in a questioning matter and he tried to lean right to see what he was doing.
“Junhyung?”
“Waah!” The younger jumped up and turned around at a lightning speed. He looked startled at first but his expression eased. Junhyung brought a hand to his chest and breathed out deeply for a couple of times.
“Don’t scare me like that.”
Hyunseung’s fingers fidgeted around the box. “Sorry…”
“But…You seem tired, didn’t you get any sleep at all?” Junhyung asked as he stepped closer, eyeing the other who changed the leg he was supporting his weight on to avoid the overwhelming feeling of being uncomfortable. It was nagging him in the stomach, he hated it. He wanted to be as carefree as Junhyung who handles everything with ease.
“Just an annoying thug around the house,” Hyunseung replied fast and tried to change the topic, “Anyway, what are you up to?” He looked around, seeing different kinds of tools scattered around the floor. There weren’t a lot, but also the space wasn’t big either.
There was no answer.
“I don’t need you to step on something sharp…,” he continued as he leaned down to pick up a saw that was lying around carelessly. It was the least he could do but as his fingertips were about to touch it, he was pulled back up.
Junhyung’s eyes were staring into his again, staring as trying to figure out something.
“What?” Hyunseung let out an awkward laugh and stepped away, ready to get that annoying saw but the arm had a tight grasp around his which the elder made sure of as he was softly yanked back again. The touch sent warmth through his body, leaving not a single part out and the elder didn’t even know what to do with it. It felt too perfect.
“You should at least eat.” Junhyung’s gaze was fixated somewhere else but Hyunseung still froze as he felt the box of nails replaced by something softer before the grasp was released. He felt chilly again, uncertainness wrapping his hands around him immediately. Was he supposed to say anything now? Was he supposed to joke and hit him on the shoulder?
“Thanks for remembering to bring these,” Junhyung said while crouching down again, stabilizing his position before putting a couple of nails between his lips as he started working. Hyunseung could only look at his back, certain muscles seen moving below the tight-fitting shirt, moving with every hit, moving with every action. The sight was appealing. It had been unexpected right from the message, unexpected what he was going to be doing here.
Now he knew. And he was amazed once again.
He really was a hard-working person. Not once in his life he seemed to have free time just for himself. To fulfill his own selfish desires that nowadays teenagers had. To be at ease and party the night’s away. Nothing. Junhyung always seemed to be on the move, always seemed to be doing something, always busy. Always stressed.
But he always made time for Hyunseung. Time, where he inconsiderately poured out his troubles, his thoughts, his worries. And the younger listened, eyes radiating some kind of glow, assurance that it was going to be fine, making Hyunseung lose all barriers and spill everything. He had no escape.
Junhyung was never like that. When they had met, so many similarities could be seen but the younger had made Hyunseung’s habit slowly disappear as while he stayed the same. The elder couldn’t succeed answering with the same. It wasn’t as easy as he had expected and for once, for once he thought that Junhyung’s barrier was way too strong for him.
Deep down the difference was seen easily.
Or was this just an excuse for Hyunseung for his incapability?
The item was still in his hand and he looked down at it - a bread bun, quite freshly-made. Another smile emerged on his face which he tried so hard to cover up. Junhyung sure knew how to treat people. He had proven to be a good player, nothing to be impressed about. The other accepted this fact easily but that didn’t mean Hyunseung was fine with it.
No one would…
“Aren’t you hungry?” Hyunseung asked while opening the package. The filling in it was Junhyung’s favorite. He always craved for it and even though Hyunseung had looked at it weirdly, the filling was very uncommon, then after the first bite he also got fond of it. Or even obsessed.
“Naah, I bought it for you,” The younger replied before reaching for another nail.
“Hmm…” Hyunseung crouched down opposite of him, managing on a slight pout on purpose. “What are you doing anyway?” He glanced at the younger, eyes looking down, slightly hidden by eyelashes - he looked concentrated. Hyunseung blinked in surprise as he suddenly met with a pair of brown orbs and a grin. A grin that was too perfect for his own good.
“This place looks like crap,” he said, looking back down, continuing.
“Hmm…” Hyunseung mumbled in thought. “It’s good when you’re feeling down though,” he said, pulling a piece from the bun which without further thought was brought to the other. Junhyung raised his head again, eyes slightly widening before glancing at Hyunseung’s.
Was it really that surprising? Did he think the elder was going to trick him?
There was a silent moment worth of a second or two before Hyunseung’s expression matched with the one on the other. “Erm…I mean…” The move had been unplanned, totally out of the blue and he felt like he should slap himself mentally. Yes, it seemed like a good idea.
Hyunseung lowered his hand back. It was always so natural when Junhyung did it to him, how his eyes would lighten up and sometimes going even as far as making a plane noise while moving it around in the air. It fit him so well. Why was it so awkward the other way around?
Junhyung eyes still bored into his. He was thinking. But soon he surprised Hyunseung by opening his mouth, orbs losing the connection with his as lids slowly covered them. The elder looked at him warily but still brought the piece of bun back near his mouth, hesitating before letting it touch his lower lip to which the younger leaned forward just slightly and let his teeth grab around it, pulling it into his mouth.
Hyunseung pulled away immediately as if he had gotten burned by fire. It felt strangely satisfying.
“Not bad.” A comment came from the younger with an expression that somehow relaxed the other’s nerves. Such actions were exchanged lately more and more and Hyunseung was slowly acknowledging that it was weird. Plain weird. Was a friendship supposed to be like this?
“I guess,” Hyunseung replied and finally took a bite out of the bun.
It was quite dim already, the time had passed fast and they hadn’t even noticed the sun setting. But it was all interrupted by another one of Junhyung’s ‘phone-calls’. Phone-calls which meant he was leaving. Hyunseung wanted to stay for a while alone, telling him he’d continue but Junhyung seemed against it. He was practically insisting that he’d go home.
“Here, take it,” Junhyung said hurriedly, pressing something into Hyunseung’s hands before he went to gather the belongings he needed. The elder stood there and looked down. It was a key, quite normal, quite usual and certainly nothing special. It was just a piece of metal, cold, distant, only good for unlocking what it was meant for.
And Hyunseung couldn’t feel happier. It was special. In a way it was the first gift - an item he received from the other, he felt like celebrating it. Felt like expressing it, felt like hugging him. Felt like doing anything to show his appreciation.
But he restrained himself.
“Our work won’t go to waste this way,” the younger had said with a smile and checked the time. Hyunseung had only been able to look at him. He couldn’t form any sentences, his mouth was glued shut and all the words met their end already in his mind.
He knew he later would regret not thanking him. Probably he would write a message, apologizing and thanking him properly there and later fret wondering if the message was too stupid. How easy it was with nowadays technology.
“Anyway, I’ll call you, alright?”
And so he left, his image getting smaller and smaller as he jogged in a tempo that wouldn’t get him breathless. He jogged and Hyunseung finally gave out a sigh and took a look around. All the work had paid off. The wind wouldn’t blow through anymore, the broken window was fixed, and the floor was also taken care off and somehow covered with a nice carpet. They had agreed to get pillows here. And a couple of towels, in case for rain.
It now looked…Cozy.
Hyunseung couldn’t help the butterflies as he locked the newly-made door, who knew Junhyung really was skilled in everything. From now on he could sit here, peacefully. And maybe, just maybe he would meet Junhyung here. And they could sit, side by side, arms touching and just staring into the distance. Lone words would be exchanged.
Preferably it would rain.
For some reason this has turned into ‘their’ place, even from before. It was kind of silly as they hadn’t spent that much time here together, but it was the feeling Hyunseung got, wanted it to be so and felt thankful to the other who had done all of this for him. Had done everything which he will never be able to give back.
How was he so good at it?
The grass was now a bit below his knees. Quite a time had passed but at the same time, he only got to know Junhyung a while ago. To know him, it would take years and to deal with his status beside him, it would take even more years of pain to get used to what was coming. It will never be easy, never he’d be able to even taste that bit of happiness he now acquired from his daydreams in class.
He wanted to be happy. Was it too much to ask?
“Mr. Jang?” A low voice woke him up from his thoughts. A pair of black shoes were in his vision and he slowly raised his eyes, seeing a rather rough-looking man before him, hair the only indicator stating he wasn’t someone from the government.
Hyunseung’s eyes widened. This was not a good sign. They looked far from salespersons, too formal to be tourists. Their suits looked expensive.
What is going on?
He didn’t answer, just raised an eyebrow at the two.
“Mr. Yong would like to have a word. Let us escort you,” the one before him said, adding a small bow to it. The man behind him did the same. Hyunseung’s instinct screamed he should leave as fast as possible, run, whatever it would take to get away. His stomach was filling with fear and anxiousness.
“I don’t really have time at the moment, I apologize,” Hyunseung tried to excuse himself and pass but was stopped by a hand blocking his way and he froze, still trying to maintain that innocent look which should’ve expressed his lack of knowledge what was going on. All his senses were kept sharp.
“I don’t think we made ourselves clear. We have an order to accompany you on your way there,” the one said who still had his hand stretched out. His voice was familiar, he had heard it somewhere. But also he had heard many voices of people Junhyung worked with. It didn’t seem to play much of a role, it only helped him focus as every person from Junhyung’s circle was stamped with a dangerous sign.
The younger’s heart sank. Having no idea how to get out of this situation, he didn’t know which actions should be taken. He tried to observe, search for an option to escape but it proved to be too late - both of the men stood beside him and secured their grasp.
“Fine! Fine!” Hyunseung said and shook them off. “I’ll come, but I have to get back in 2 hours, understood?” There was no point in that sentence but for some reason, for some little reason it gave him assurance to reach back safely. A stupid thing to believe in, such people would never care about it.
But the men still nodded as one took out a blindfold.
“I’m sorry but you are not allowed to see where we are headed,” one of them said with a cold tone when Hyunseung looked at the fold with his eyes wide, obvious fright crossing his features which now couldn’t be held back. His body eased with much effort but his mind was going crazy.
It’s not like he had any choice. Right?
Right?…