(no subject)
Jenny stood in front of the refrigerator staring blankly at the letter that she had stuck on with an old magnet. She had been staring at it for the past few hours trying to figure out what the smudged out, scribbled, whiskey stained, letter said. She’d made out the first few sentences, but after that it just cut off to illegible words.
Glancing at the clock she saw it was 5:25, still no sleep, and a train to catch at 7. She’d tried multiple times to just relaxing, but every time she felt as though she was almost at the point of sleep, the letter popped back into her head. Then her mind would fill with so many thoughts of what the rest of the letter said, or really what the end of that last illegible sentence said. Thousands of phrases running through her mind, I hate you, I miss you, I want you, you should leave, I never had feelings for you, then of course there was the obvious one. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to even believe that he would ever feel, let alone write, that about her.
She had come to sitting on the floor, leaning against the counter. In front of her the letter staring back at her, to the right a packed suitcase and a few bags stood next to the door. On them rested her jacket and scarf. She let out a sigh and realized what she had to do.
Pushing herself up, she grabbed the letter off the refrigerator and shoved it in her pocket. Quickly she scribbled a note to Dan, telling him thanks for letting her stay in the loft, and she wrote how she hoped he had a good night out with Serena, since he still wasn’t home. She slid the note under the spare key Dan had given her when she’d first left the Upper East Side, for when she visited, but she wouldn’t be needing it ever again.
Glimpsing back at the clock, she saw it was now 5:45. Quickly she slid on her jacket and wrapped her scarf around her neck. Shoving her feet into her boots, she grabbed her bags and opened the door to the loft, pulling the suitcases out the door she took one last flash of the loft, then locking the door behind her she started heading out.
She had one hour to go see Nate, figure out what the letter said. Catch the train, and then never return to the Upper East Side.
****
Lightly she tapped on the door, but heard no movement. A second time she knocked, this time harder, but still no response. Trying the doorknob it didn’t turn. She knew she should have taken it as a sign, still she knew if she didn’t go see him, the remaining words of that letter would haunt her for the rest of her life.
Then she remembered, across from the door of Nate’s room was a plant.
They’d just returned from the movies, as they stood in the elevator, Nate was playing with his keys. Once the elevator doors opened on their floor, she snatched the keys from his hand and ran out of the elevator and headed towards Nate’s room. She heard him start to laugh then shout after her,
“Jennifer Tallulah Humphrey!” Jenny had finally reached the door as she turned to see Nate making his way towards her; she placed the key into the lock,
“Oh Nate, you know how much I hate when people use my middle name…” Nate was almost at her when she turned the key and opened the door, rushing into his room locking the door behind her. She heard him chuckle from the hallway.
“You think you’re so smart don’t you Humphrey.” Jenny only giggled, but she stopped as she heard the doorknob turning. She started backing away. When the door swung open inside stepped Nate, with a key in his hand and his hands covered in dirt. Glancing behind him Jenny saw that there was a soil all over the hallway floor and the plant that sat on the wooden table had lost some leaves. Jenny smiled, as she whispered “oops”. He grinned and shook his head,
“The people we get dirty for.”
She smiled at herself while looking down at the key that was now resting on the palm of her hand. Wiping her hands off on the white tablecloth, on which the plant rested on, she glided to the door on the opposite wall. Gently she placed the key into the lock, slowly turning the knob she heard the door unlock. Lightly she pressed the door open, as she walked into the room the stench of alcohol hit her in the face.
Walking down the main corridor she started to see the mess of which Nate had left, there was glass all over the room. Continuing further on she finally saw the one person she had come looking for. There he was sprawled out on the cushions, his hair disheveled, shirt slightly opened and his breath was heavy.
She dropped her bags and left her suitcase, walking towards Nate, she started whispering his name, gradually getting louder every time. Getting a few grunts in return. Sighing, she pulled the coffee table closer to the couch and sat upon it. She started nudging his shoulder,
“Nate…” he rolled over on his side. His face turned towards her, though his eyes still closed. “Nate,” She said as she moved the hair out of his eyes, “It’s Jenny.” She watched his face as his eyelids started opening.
“Jenny,” He whispered, “I’m so glad you’re here.” Slurring his words as he sat up and ran a hand down his face.
“I can’t stay for long Nate, I just have to ask you ¾” She stopped talking when she saw Nate try to stand up. Placing his hands on her shoulders for support he whispered,
“I don’t feel so good Jenny.” She sighed and maneuvered her hand around his back.
“Come on,” she responded, helping him towards the bathroom. “You do what you have do, and I’ll go get you something to settle your stomach.” Nate nodded. As Jenny turned to walk away, she heard him vomit. “Gross.” She whispered.
When she returned, Nate was no longer in the bathroom; a faint feeling of panic hit her, but faded away as she walked into Nate’s room and saw him sitting on the side of his bed, only wearing a pair of navy plaid boxers. At the sight of him, Jenny could feel her face starting to flush.
She handed him a glass of water and two Advil. “Take these, they should help.” Nate slurred a few words of thanks as he took them from her hands. As the water slipped down his throat, Jenny sat down next to him. She pulled out the letter from her pocket as Nate sat his glass down on the bedside table. He looked at the letter with confused eyes.
“After Chuck came to check on you he made a visit to the loft, and gave this to me.” Passing it to him, he held it in his hands, his eyes reading over it. “I know you were drunk when you wrote this,” she muttered, “and I know you’re still drunk right now.” She took a deep breath. “This is going to sound ridiculous but I haven’t slept all night because of this stupid letter,” she continued to ramble on, “And I probably won’t ever sleep again until you tell me what exactly you wrote right when the words get all jumbled and messy.” She sighed, and let out a nervous laugh, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, realizing how crazy she must have just sounded.
Nate placed down the letter, and Jenny looked anywhere but his eyes.
“Jenny,” He breathed, grabbing her hand, and placing his other hand on the side of her face, turning her head so their eyes met. He could see her eyes were glistening with tears. “I,” he started, still keeping his eyes on hers, “Jenny, I love you,” he whispered, his words slurring.
Jenny gulped as she felt herself being drawn in towards Nate. When their lips were mere inches apart, she turned her head and his lips grazed her cheek as she stood up from the bed.
“Thank you,” She uttered, “But nothing’s changed Nate.” She was almost out of his bedroom when she heard Nate’s quiet, slurred voice,
“Stay,” Jenny froze. “I’ve missed you so much,” She turned around as Nate stood up from the bed and headed towards her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his naked chest, the smell of liquor intoxicating Jenny’s senses. She could feel the tears falling on her cheeks, as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Just lay down with me,” He muttered into her hair, “Like old times.”
Jenny nodded against his shoulder, “Okay,” she whispered. Removing one arm from his waist, they headed towards the bed.
In the same clothes she’d come in, she lied down on the sheets and Nate followed her. She grabbed the comforter and pulled it over them.
She tried her best to keep a good distance between herself and Nate, but Nate shortly pushed himself up against her, and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Goodnight Jenny.” He mumbled, his voice sounded very close to her ear. Jenny responded with “Night.” Then soon all she heard was the sound of Nate’s breathing in her ear.
For the first time in 10 hours she’d been able to sleep.
****
She squinted her eyes as the morning sun hit her face, and let out a moan. When she was about to roll over she realized there was a hand on her waist. The sudden feeling made her eyes fly open. She processed the room and realized where she was, and when she looked down to the left, she also realized whose arm had been around her. The events of the previous night rushing through her brain, and those three words Nate had muttered.
Looking down at herself she realized she was still in the same outfit she’d worn yesterday. She started searching for her phone, and found it on the floor. She had two text messages from Dan,
Hey Jenny, just wanted to make sure you’re safe and back in Hudson.
I’m getting worried, I tried the home number, no answer. Please get a hold of me ASAP!
Hudson. She checked the time, 10:30, shit, Jenny realized that she’d also missed her train. She jumped out of the bed, checking behind her to see that Nate was still sound asleep.
She noticed the letter lying on the floor; she picked it up and debated what to do with it. Quickly she scurried out of Nate’s room quietly closing the door behind her. She placed the letter on the counter and flipped it to the blank side of the paper. She grabbed a pen and wrote,
Let me know, when it’s me that you want.
She started pulling on her boots when she heard the door unlock and a familiar voice chime in.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here? Miss Jenny Humphrey performing the well known ‘Walk of Shame’ huh?” He chuckled. Jenny let out a groan,
“I do not have time for this Chuck, I need to go to the train station and try to catch the next train to Brooklyn.” Still struggling to get her foot in her boot, “Now,” she breathed, “Unless you have some magic way of getting me there faster, I suggest you please let me be!” She exclaimed. Once she’d had finally gotten herself situated she walked over to her suitcase and bags. She grabbed them and started walking away.
“So you’re just going to leave?” Chuck muttered. Jenny stopped, but without turning around, replied,
“Nothing has changed Chuck, you and I both know that.” With those last words she walked out of the door.
****
He woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs, as the scent wafted through his nose, he slowly started to awake. With awakening came the consequences of the night before. The headache. He sat up and placed his hand against his forehead. He looked to the right to see the bed empty, it wasn’t the first time, but something felt missing.
Slowly he got up out of his bed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a blue dress shirt he’d picked up off the floor, and headed towards the door, when he’d stepped out of his room he saw Chuck with a plate of food in front of him.
“Please tell me you didn’t cook.” Nate said, laughing at the thought. Chuck raised an eyebrow at him,
“Really Archibald? Do you know that little about me?” He exclaimed, “I ordered room service for you.”
“Great, thanks.” Nate replied, pulling a stool up to the counter. He placed his fork in his scrambled eggs when Chuck slid a piece of paper towards him.
“Jenny left this for you.” Nate set his fork back down,
“Jenny…” he pondered, and then he picked up the paper and saw his own writing on the other side. “Oh my god Jenny.” He said, remembering what had happened that night… what he said. Chuck shook his head,
“You’ve got to be kidding me. No wonder she fucking left this morning, you forgot about her even being here last night.” Chuck shouted, aggravated by Nate’s idiocy. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?” He asked, picking up a glass of orange juice.
Nate nodded, “I told her I loved her.” Chuck’s eyes widened and he sat that glass down.
“You what!” He exclaimed, “My god, no wonder she left.” Chuck stopped and looked at Nate, “Did you mean it?”
“Well I,” Nate stopped, after a pause he continued, “Yeah, I did… I do.” Chuck nodded, then flipped the paper over and pointed to the sentence on the backside.
“Well maybe you should let someone know.” Chuck said. Nate stood up from his stool.
“Right,” Then his eyes started searching the room, “You haven’t seen my phone around anywhere have you?” Then he felt the impact of Nate’s palm on the back of his head. “Ow, what the hell Chuck!”
“Texting her, or calling her is exactly what a girl doesn’t want. Come on Nate, you’re more of a romanticist then this.”
Nate raised an eyebrow at Chuck, “And you’re usually not.” Nate walked over towards the couch, looking for his coat, but just noticed the mess of glass shards he’d left on the floor.
“Shit,” He whispered, he turned towards Chuck, “Sorry about this, I’ll clean it up, I promise.” Chuck laughed,
“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it will get cleaned by someone eventually.” Nate grabbed his coat, and pulled on a pair of shoes. Chuck opened the door for him and patted him on the shoulder.
“Go do your thing Archibald.”
****
She lay on her bed; the covers pulled up to her chin, and just stared at the ceiling. Watching the fan as it repeated its motions.
She’d only recently arrived back at her home in Hudson, and was somehow finding herself bored. She didn’t feel like calling any of her friends here, she didn’t feel like doing anything.
She’d tried sleeping, but once again, it didn’t work. She also tried to work on some new dresses, after hers being sabotaged by the always lovely Miss Waldorf, but the inspiration and persistence she usually had was gone, all of this leaving her to feel broken.
Thus there she was, starring at the ceiling fan, knowing the only thing that could fix her right now was he. But he was back in the Upper East Side, the place she vowed to never return.
She looked at the clock, 1 PM, he was probably still asleep, but what if he wasn’t? Her mind was gushing with thoughts now. She wondered if he saw what she wrote to him, whether he’d even remember anything from that night, or what he said, what he tried to do, or the way he wrapped his around her, pressing his body closer to hers.
Jenny quickly shook the memory from her mind. Flipping over on her stomach she screaming into her pillow, the effect he had over he was undeniable, and irresistible. She was still lying there flat on her face when she heard her phone vibrate on her bureau. She stuck her hand out of the sheets to grab it, assuming it was just one of her friends wanting to hang out, she was about it ignore it when she looked at the screen and saw
1 New Message:
Nate Archibald
She was curious and decided to press read,
I’ll be sure to let you know.
Reading the message she screamed in agony, this time not into her pillow. It was just typical Nate, sending a quick little text message, never putting anything meaningful and in the end leaving her more lost, confused, and angrier then ever. She chucked her phone on the floor, and lay down on her bed. Enveloping herself in her comforter. She was done with all of it, all of his bullshit and the pain he put her through. She was done.
She felt the hotness of tears on her cheeks, and let them fall, slowly passing into a slumber, when she heard a knock on the door. Her mother had been out getting groceries, feeling obliged she got out of bed, not caring how much of a mess she looked in her plaid pajama pants and an old baggy t-shirt. Hearing the knock again she exclaimed.
“Coming!” She reached the door and pulled it open, though her brain didn’t have enough time to process the figure in the doorway when she felt hands on the side of her face and a set of lips on hers, but it didn’t take any time to recognize who those lips belonged to.
She stood stunned, the familiar softness of his lips molding into hers as she relaxed herself into him, grabbing the sides of his jacket, pulling them closer to one another.
After a few seconds he pulled away, she kept her eyes closed for a few seconds more, memorizing the way his lips felt on hers, slowly she opened her eyelids to see his eyes staring down at hers, filled with passion.
“Nate,” She whispered, his name falling out of her mouth with a sweet sigh. He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear,
“Jenny Humphrey,” He murmured, “I want you. I want you now. I want you tomorrow. I want you forever.” A smile spread across Jenny’s face,
“Okay!” She exclaimed, giggling a little bit. Nate raised an eyebrow.
“Okay?” He asked. She kept smiling as she wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him towards her, their lips brushed against each other’s as she whispered “Okay.” She pressed their lips together, moving slowly in sync. He pulled away and smiled.
“Okay!” He nodded; she smiled and laughed pulling him further into the house and shutting the door behind him. It wasn’t long before their lips feverishly attacked one another again, as she lead him towards her open door.
When the pain subsides and the struggle is over,
We finally find the one, our true lover.