Road Trip--Escape to where? 8/9
Title: Escape to where? 8/9
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared, Chris/Steve. Mentions of Jared/Sandy and Jensen/Tom.
Rating: N-17
Word Count: 44,000 (approx over all)
Summary: Sometimes trying to get away from your life doesn't all make things easier but can often make things better. Jared runs off for some time alone and the stray he picks up changes his world forever.
Disclaimer: Oh God, I wish!
Beta: Thanks to miss_somersault for her support. To looleebelle for her tireless hard work and confidence in me and prettiful_pout for completely saving my life! I altered a lot after getting it back so all mistakes are mine.
A/N: This will be several chapters long due to LJ size restrictions.
Also, this is my first posted J2 and I'm really terrified, I hope you all like it so please tell me what you think, good and bad?
Written for the Road Trip Challenge on spn_first_time
Chapter Eight
Later when Jared awoke he found Jensen watching him, a lazy smile on his face.
“Were you watching me sleep?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You looked so peaceful,” Jensen told him, still smiling.
“What time is it?” Jared shifted to try and find a clock; he secretly smiled at the feel of Jensen’s naked body rubbing against his.
“Dunno, but it’s still light out so I don’t think we slept that long,” Jensen said. “Did you want to get up?”
“God no,” Jared relaxed back down and pulled Jensen closer to him.
“Good, cause I don’t wanna move for the rest of the day,” Jensen draped an arm over Jared’s stomach and settled his head on his shoulder.
“That might be awkward when Steve’s mom calls us for dinner,” Jared pointed out and chuckled when Jensen huffed indignantly.
They lay in silence for a while, just enjoying being together and Jared let his mind wander.
“You’re thinking again,” Jensen said, poking him in the side.
“Hey,” Jared protested, poking him back.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jensen asked and started drawing patterns with his finger over Jared’s chest, tickling him slightly.
“Can I ask you something?” Jared said, his hand rubbing down Jensen’s spine, feeling every bump there was.
“Anything,”
“What’s it like?” Jared asked. He paused as though regretting what he was going to say.
“What’s what like?” Jensen probed gently.
Jared breathed deeply, “Sex - with a guy?” he asked quietly, embarrassed to be asking such a question.
“Depends on the guy, I guess,” Jensen answered honestly, with no hint that it was an uncomfortable topic for him.
“But, doesn’t it hurt?” Jared pressed, his heart beating a little faster.
“Yeah, it can do. Especially your first few times, but that’s why you prepare properly,” Jensen kept talking. “It’s good to have a partner who’ll make sure you’re ready before hand, someone who’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”
“What do you mean, prepare?” Jared felt like the confused virgin he was. But Jensen didn’t seem to mind, he just continued to explain patiently.
“Well, you can’t just stick it in there, so you start with your fingers,” Jensen told him. “It’s best to use plenty of lube, and then you use your fingers to stretch them open so it’s not too painful.”
“Oh.”
“What is it?” Jensen asked as though he could sense the frown on Jared’s face.
“Nothing. It’s just -” Jared faltered. “How can it possibly be nice?”
Jensen chuckled and kissed Jared’s chest a couple of times.
“It’s not as bad as you might think,” he told him. “Then of course there’s your prostate.”
“I’ve heard about that. Is it really that good?” Jared asked sceptically.
“God, Jay,” Jensen sighed and Jared felt Jensen’s body shudder a little. “When it’s touched, you know? Stimulated just right, there’s no feeling like it.”
“Really?” Jared wasn’t convinced.
“Do you want me to show you?” Now Jensen looked up and calmly took in Jared’s shocked face.
“You can do that?” Jared asked, shifting awkwardly.
“Sure. I mean, I’d have to put my finger inside you and it might be a bit uncomfortable at first, but I promise you that it feels amazing.” Jensen kissed Jared’s chest again, just a reassuring gesture.
“And you don’t have to - you know - have actual sex?”
“No, you don’t have to have actual sex,” Jensen smiled at him.
“I don’t know,” Jared said nervously. “I don’t know if I’m ready - for that.”
“That’s okay, baby. Whenever you’re ready.” Jensen nuzzled against his neck for a moment, giving him little, reassuring kisses.
Jared’s mind worked through all the information, taking it all in. Could it really feel that good? Just the thought of having someone’s fingers up his ass sent cold shivers through him, but the sincerity in Jensen’s voice when he spoke about how amazing it felt, sent a different type of shiver through him.
“Jen?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have any lube?”
Jensen sat up further and stared at Jared in shock. An apprehensive smile trying to pull on his lips.
“Really?” Jensen asked hopefully, his eyes wide.
“Show me,” Jared said with a confidence he didn’t really feel.
Jensen was up like a shot, rummaging around in his case until he came back with a tube that Jared assumed to be the lube. When Jensen was laying next to him again he kissed him firmly, deepening the kiss until they were both breathless and turned on, their bodies begging for more.
“Okay, baby.” Jensen flipped the top off the lube and squeezed some onto his fingers. “It’s really important that you relax for me, okay?”
Jared nodded. He gulped and licked his suddenly dry lips. Am I really going to do this?
“If you don’t like it, if you want me to stop at any time you’ll tell me, right?” Jared nodded again, not trusting his voice to not squeak or something equally embarrassing. “Promise me, Jay.”
Jensen stared at Jared insistently and Jared knew he wouldn’t continue without his word. “I promise,” Jared said in a slightly cracked voice. “I’ll say if it’s too much, I promise.”
“Okay, now kiss me,” Jensen ordered and Jared didn’t waste anytime pushing their lips together. Jensen kissed him deeply. When he licked at Jared’s mouth Jared snaked an arm around his neck and let him in straight away. Their tongues tangled and licked against each other and Jared moaned into the passionate kiss. He loved kissing Jensen; he’d never enjoyed kissing anyone as much a he did him.
Suddenly, Jensen’s moist finger was rubbing down Jared’s crack and he instinctively jerked. Then he forced himself to relax and concentrated on the kiss, on tasting Jensen’s mouth while his finger rubbed gently at his opening. It didn’t feel too bad so far, a little strange but it was okay.
Jensen moved his hand to lift Jared’s leg and hook it over his hip, they were laying on their sides and in this new position their cocks began to rub together. Then Jensen’s finger was back, rubbing in gentle circles and through the sensation of it Jared felt himself grow harder.
Jared flinched when Jensen’s finger penetrated him; he pulled away from the kiss and screwed his eyes closed.
“Relax, baby, it’s just me,” Jensen murmured softly against his ear, kissing him gently. “Come on, Jay. Let me in.”
Jared panted slightly as Jensen pushed his finger further inside. It didn’t hurt, not at all. It was just - strange. He wasn’t going to go as far as to say it felt good but it was certainly different.
“That’s it, baby, let me in,” Jensen continued to talk to him in a calming voice and Jared felt it do its magic. He relaxed. The shaking of his body lessening and Jensen began to move his finger, pulling it out and pushing it back in.
“You still with me?” Jensen questioned, dusting little kisses over Jared’s face.
“Y-yeah, I’m okay. Keep going,” Jared reassured him. He forced his eyes open and met Jensen’s concerned ones. “I’m okay,” he said more confidently.
“Feels weird, right?” Jensen said with a smile, all the while still moving his finger in and out, rubbing around.
“You could say that,” Jared laughed a little.
“You think you could handle another one?” Jensen questioned carefully, a little smile on his lips.
“I - I have no idea,” Jared gulped.
“Wanna try?”
Jared could feel another of Jensen’s fingers pressing against his entrance and a slight thrill shot through him. This isn’t so bad, but what would two fingers feel like?
“Yeah, okay,” Jared nodded and held his breath as Jensen pushed in the second finger.
“Nugh,” Jared gasped, he felt himself being spread further, a slight burn coursed through the tight muscles around Jensen’s fingers. His legs trembled and he clutched onto Jensen, digging his fingers in.
“Okay?” Jensen queried, concerned.
Jared breathed out before taking another, deep breath in. “Yeah, keep going.”
“Jay? Kiss me?” Jensen searched for Jared’s mouth, trailing kisses until he found it. Then they kissed hard, Jensen plundered Jared’s mouth with his tongue, seeking out every little crevice. Then he twisted his fingers and -
“FUCK!!!” Jared screamed and curled his body around Jensen’s; clinging to him like his life depended on it. “Holy fuck, do that again.”
Jensen grinned and did as he was told, pressing his fingers into Jared’s prostate. Jared cried out in pleasure, Jensen was right; nothing had ever felt this good.
“Oh Jesus Christ, don’t stop,” Jared begged and pushed himself back against Jensen’s hand. Shots of white hot bliss coursed their way through Jared body as Jensen’s relentless fingers rubbed against that spot inside him, and all Jared could do was ride it out, he had no control over anything his body was doing, all he could feel was the amazing effects of Jensen’s fingers inside him.
His body shook with the most intense pleasure he’d ever experienced, he knew he was mumbling incoherently and he was pretty sure his nails were digging so hard into Jensen’s flesh that he was drawing blood. But Jensen didn’t stop; his fingers rubbed him over and over while his mouth sucked bruises into his neck.
“That’s it, baby,” Jensen whispered in his ear, hot breath just adding to the series of sensations Jared was enduring. “I told you it was good, didn’t I? Isn’t it amazing, baby? Doesn’t it feel amazing?” Jensen continued to murmur and Jared was more and more turned on with every word and every trust of his fingers.
“So gorgeous, baby. I love how I can make you fall apart,” Jensen groaned. “God, the sounds you make, Jay, you’re so hot like this. I could come just listening to you, watching you.”
Jared was surprised when he suddenly shot his load, coming all over their stomachs. His whole body shook as wave after wave of pleasure poured through him, and then, everything was black.
“Jay? Jay, baby. You with me?” Jensen’s voice drifted through the darkness and Jared sighed, he liked Jensen calling him baby, it made him feel like he meant something more to him, something special. Jared opened his eyes and found Jensen sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at him. He was smiling but there was also concern filtering through his expression.
“Hey,” Jared said groggily. He tried to figure out why Jensen would be concerned and then it all came flooding back to him. Holy shit that had been good. “How long was I out?” Now came the embarrassment at having passed out.
“About twenty minutes,” Jensen told him. Jared looked down at himself. The come had been cleared from his and Jensen’s bodies and the covers were draped over his legs and groin. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just a bit fucked, that’s all.” Jared motioned with his hand that Jensen should lay down with him which he did immediately. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It was that good, huh?” Jensen asked, half teasing and half serious.
“You were right, Jen, there’s no feeling like it. I mean, wow! That was so amazing. Thank you.” Jared pressed his lips against Jensen’s before they settled down in each others arms. Jared was just drifting off to sleep again when there was a bang at the door.
“Come on you two love birds, stop fucking and come eat.” It was Chris. Jared and Jensen burst into laughter and Jensen shouted something rude at Chris but told him they’d be right down.
***
The dinner had been embarrassing; Chris and Steve had kept giving him knowing looks and winks. Even the kind smiles Mrs. Carlson had given him hadn’t failed to send hot flushes to his cheeks.
Now, a couple of days later, Jared watched the reason for that embarrassment sprawled on the ground of the Carlson’s garage, his head disappearing under the Impala, his top riding up to expose the skin on his flat, muscular stomach, and Jared’s heart leapt.
Jensen had asked if he could take a look at the Impala and of course Jared had said yes. Now Jensen was covered in grease and oil, his tight grey tee clinging to him as the sweat caused by the afternoon sun soaked his body, and Jared had to hold himself back from the man, he looked so damn sexy.
Jensen had spent the day showing him all sorts of things Jared hadn’t had a clue about on his car, things to look out for, how to keep certain things in check, but still all things Jared hadn’t known about before.
When they were both leaning under the hood, Jensen pointing things out, and Jared could take his eyes off him. His muscles flexing as he moved, his lips and they way they wrapped themselves around the words he spoke, even though Jared found it hard to concentrate on those words.
Finally Jensen leaned against the car and grinned at him.
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Jensen chuckled.
“That’s not true, I heard lots of words,” Jared said defensively.
“You just want to kiss me, don’t you?” Jensen smirked.
“Is that such a bad thing?” Jared asked innocently.
“Oh, I didn’t say that.” Jensen grinned and allowed Jared to move in close, pinning him against the car.
“Kissing you could never be a bad thing,” Jared confirmed quietly, as he lowered his face until he was able to claim Jensen’s lips.
“Hey you two. Don’t start that now,” Steve strolled into the garage like he owned the place - which considering it was his folks place wasn’t far off - and interrupted them. “Jen, if you’re wanting to come with me to the hospital you’d better get cleaned up.”
“Yeah, okay, gimme ten minutes and I’ll be right with ya,” Jensen reluctantly pushed Jared away. “I’ll catch you later, when I get back, okay?”
“You bet you will,” Jared caught another greedy kiss before Jensen grinned and went inside to shower and change.
When Jensen and Steve had left for the hospital Jared found himself at a bit of a loose end. That was until Chris appeared in front of him, handing him a beer.
“Thanks, man,” Jared accepted gratefully.
“What’s up, Big Jay, you look down,” Chris asked, using the nickname he’d given Jared.
“Nah, I’m okay,” Jared sighed and knew he didn’t sound convincing.
“Aw, come on, tell me, maybe I can help,” Chris nudged him in the side.
Jared sighed, maybe now was the time to talk about what was bothering him. “It’s just - this is gonna be my last night here, I’m gonna have to start making a move home tomorrow afternoon so I can get back and get settled ready to go back to work on time.”
“And?” Chris waited for the rest before commenting.
“And - I don’t wanna leave Jensen behind, but I don’t think he’ll come with me,” Jared confessed, feeling even worse now he’d voiced his concerns.
“Have you asked him?” Chris questioned.
“Yeah, I mentioned it a few day ago, but he said he didn’t think he could uproot himself like that,” Jared told him miserably. “And I can understand that, I mean, it’s not like we’ve known each other all that long, I can’t expect him to leave everything he knows behind. He’s been through a tough time recently and he needs things around him that are familiar, like you and Steve. I can’t expect him to change his whole life just for me.” Jared’s voice cracked and the reality of having to leave Jensen behind finally hit him.
“But you want him to? You want him to go back with you?” Chris asked, taking a gulp of his beer.
“I wish he could. I know it’s crazy and it’s really fast and I know that this whole gay thing is new to me, but with Jen - it’s just so right, you know?” Jared swallowed half his beer purely to fight the tears forming in his eyes. “I don’t know what to do so I don’t lose him.”
“From the looks of things there’s only one thing you can do about it,” Chris told him calmly, Jared looked at him and waited for some divine wisdom that would make everything okay. “You have to talk to him. Find out what he wants, how he feels. See if you can’t work something out together. You can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away, Big Jay, you want results you have to take action.”
Jared nodded and stared into his beer. “I know. I know I have to talk to him. But what if he says no? What if he doesn’t feel as strongly as I do? I mean, I think he does, it seems like he does, but what if I’ve read it all wrong and he doesn’t? What if he tells me to leave and that it was all just a bit of fun, satisfying some lust?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, buddy, you’re getting carried away with yourself,” Chris held up his hands as though Jared were a wild horse ready to bolt. “Listen, I know you mean a lot to Jen, he wouldn’t have had you stick around if you didn’t. And I think it’s likely a lot of those thoughts and fears are swimming around in his pretty little head too. God, I think I need to bash your skulls together. Now, when he gets back here, I suggest you talk to him, nice and calm like, don’t go jumping to any conclusions. You’re scared, but don’t let that be the emotion that drives you ‘cause that way leads to trouble, you get me?”
“Yeah, I get ya, Chris, thanks.” Jared finished off his beer. “You want another?”
Chris nodded and tipped his hat in thanks so Jared collected them another couple of beers. Together they sat and waited for their lovers to return home, until Chris got bored and challenged Jared to a game a hoops on the driveway, where there was a basket attached to the wall.
Jared gave Chris a weird look, knowing that he towered over him by miles but he agreed. It turned out that Chris used the height difference to his advantage; he was quick on his feet and ducked under Jared’s arms easily. The game was close but Jared was just in the lead when Steve and Jensen pulled up announcing they had take out.
Jared beamed when he saw Jensen and bounded over to him, lifting him in the air and rubbing his sweaty face in his neck. Jensen squirmed and tried to get away.
“Yuck, you’re gross, get off me,” Jensen complained but he was laughing.
Steve looked at Chris warningly, “If you even think about it you’ll be sleeping on the sofa.” Chris backed off, hands held in surrender and Steve grinned in victory.
“Okay you two; into the showers and be quick about it or we’ll eat your share of the food,” Jensen warned and pointed Chris and Jared inside to wash up.
Chris and Steve’s room had its own bathroom so Jared used the main one to have a quick, hot shower. Then he dressed and bounded down the stairs, just beating Chris to the table. Mrs. Carlson was spending the evening with her husband so it was just the four of them.
They ate and laughed, and drank beer until they were merry and sleepy. Soon, Steve was draping himself over Chris and whispering in his ear, it wasn’t long after that they were excusing themselves and going upstairs. Jensen laughed and watched them go, then he and Jared were alone and Jensen moved over to where Jared was seated on the sofa and straddled his legs.
“Hey you,” he said quietly.
“Hey yourself,” Jared smiled up at him, but his smile wasn’t full and Jensen could tell. “Jen, can we talk?”
Jensen groaned and kissed Jared’s neck, “Do we have to?” he said, moving to nibble Jared’s ear.
“I’d like to,” Jared said, trying not to let Jensen distract him. “Don’t you think we should?”
“I think -” Jensen circled his hips, pressing his already half hard dick into Jared’s crouch. “- that we should go upstairs.”
“Jen, you know I have to leave tomorrow,” Jared insisted but Jensen didn’t stop, instead he worked harder to arouse Jared, pushing his shirt up and biting his nipples.
“I know,” Jensen moaned and started work on Jared’s jeans. “So, let’s not waste anymore time, okay?”
“Jen, I really think -” Jared started but faltered when Jensen’s hand dug under his boxers and grabbed his dick.
Jensen looked directly into Jared’s fast dilating eyes, “You think too much,” he told him and then swallowed any other protest by sealing their lips together. His hand continued to work Jared’s cock until it was fully erect and Jared had no choice but to go with it. He swore to himself that they would talk after, but right now Jensen really seemed to need this and who was Jared to deny him, especially when he wanted it just as badly?
“Upstairs,” Jensen ordered breathlessly. “Now!” Jared nodded and they leapt to their feet and almost ran up the stairs.
When they were shut firmly in their room, Jensen was turning on Jared again and practically tearing his clothes off. His jeans were first to go since they were already undone, his boxers followed directly after and his top was ripped off his head dangerously fast. Somehow Jensen had been managing to shed his own clothes at the same time and he now shoved Jared against the door and fell straight to his knees.
This time he didn’t ask for permission, they were way past that. He took Jared’s long dick in his mouth and sucked it hard.
“Ngh.” Jared slammed his head back against the door and moaned loudly, his climax building quickly. Jensen was desperate, like he wanted to devour Jared through his cock, he sucked hard and fast, then he was pulling off and dragging Jared over to the bed, pushing him onto his back and climbing over to straddle him.
Jared didn’t even have time to catch his breath before Jensen was attacking his mouth again, slipping and sliding their bodies together.
Jared was forced to tear his mouth away so he could gasp some air. “Jesus, Jen,” he panted, closing his eyes at the sensation of their cocks rubbing together.
“Jay,” Jensen spoke into his neck, never stopping his relentless kisses. “God, Jay, I want you, I want you so badly, baby.”
Jared shuddered at those words. They both terrified and exhilarated him.
“Jen, I -” He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what he wanted.
“Please, baby, I need you,” Jensen begged. “I wanna feel you inside me.”
“I don’t know how,” Jared gasped as Jensen bit his shoulder, hard.
“You do, I showed you, just like I showed you,” Jensen panted. “Please, Jay, God, please?”
“Okay, yeah okay, Jen,” Jared was saying before he realised it, but the feel of Jensen against him, rubbing him, kissing and biting him, he was on sensory overload and he was pretty sure there wasn’t any blood left to run his brain.
Jensen shifted slightly, and then he was pushing the tube of lube into Jared’s hand, along with a condom. He lay next to Jared, and they stilled for a moment, breathing hard and staring each other in the eyes.
“You sure you want me to do this?” Jared needed to know it was okay.
“I’m more than sure, Jay,” Jensen confirmed. He ran a hand over Jared’s chest lightly and Jared closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling.
“What if I hurt you?” Jared asked, keeping his eyes closed. He felt a hand on his face and a soft kiss on his lips.
“Hey?” He slowly opened his eyes and met Jensen’s. “You won’t hurt me,” Jensen said seriously, his eyes confident. Jared searched those eyes before he nodded.
His hands shook as he tried to get the top off the lube. “Here,” Jensen whispered and took the tube, coating his fingers for him. “It’s okay, baby. I trust you.”
How can you when I’m not even sure I trust myself? Jared thought silently. He lower his trembling hand and Jensen lifted his leg to hook it over Jared’s hip, just as he’d done to Jared, keeping things familiar and Jared was grateful for that. Cautiously Jared felt around until he found Jensen’s tight, puckered entrance. He stilled and swallowed, trying to get his breathing under control. I don’t know if I can do this.
He looked to Jensen who was staring at him, a little desperation in his eyes. Jared circled Jensen’s entrance and watched as Jensen’s breath shuddered slightly. He studied the expressions darting across Jensen’s face with keen interest. Then he pushed a little harder and the tip of his finger disappeared inside. Jensen gasped, his lips parting and his eyes drifting closed. The corners of his mouth tipped into a small smile and Jared slowly pushed further inside.
It was nothing like fingering a woman, it was so much tighter, Jensen’s body clenching slightly around him, and the look of pleasure on Jensen’s face was enough to wash away Jared’s fears. He focused solely on Jensen’s face, gauging each and every expression it went through. Soon Jared’s finger was moving slowly but confidently and he could literally feel Jensen relaxing around him.
“Okay?” he spoke in a whisper, afraid to shatter this tender moment.
Jensen opened his eyes, his soft gaze falling on Jared and he shifted his body closer to his. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he promised. All desperation and frantic movements of before gone, now it was calm, soft, and yet sweat dripped down Jared’s back and beaded on Jensen’s forehead.
“Another?” Jared questioned, not wanted to do too much too fast.
“God yes, please?” Jensen nodded firmly and kept Jared’s eyes locked to his as Jared pushed in another finger. Jensen’s mouth opened in a silent moan, his eyes boring holes into Jared. He was pushing his body back against Jared’s hand, his movement causing their cocks to rub together and Jared sighed, happy for the friction to relieve a little of the pressure building in him.
“Open your fingers,” Jensen panted slightly and Jared complied, doing as he was told, scissoring his fingers and stretching Jensen further.
Jared wondered if he could find that spot in Jensen, so he gently began exploring the walls of Jensen’s hole, but he couldn’t find it, not until he twisted and pressed - there!
“Ngh,” Jensen cried out, his fingers gripping Jared’s arms tightly, digging his nails in. Jared smiled and pressed again. Jensen pressed his head against Jared’s shoulder and breathed hot hard breaths against his skin and Jared continued to stimulate that spot. “Oh fuck yes,” Jensen pushed back against him, practically fucking himself on Jared’s fingers. “That’s it, baby, more.”
Jared pushed in another finger, effectively losing his purchase on the spot but Jensen didn’t seem to mind, he stretched willingly, suddenly kissing Jared, his desperation coming back in full force.
“Now, Jay,” Jensen groaned. “I need you now.”
Jared nodded; his cock was so hard he barely dared touch it. It turned out he didn’t have to, Jensen took the condom from him and ripped it open. He slid it over him quickly and then slipped the top off the lube and coated his length generously, Jared biting his lip against the want to thrust into Jensen’s fist.
“How do we -?” Jared asked breathlessly.
“On my back,” Jensen said, he rolled onto his back and pulled Jared with him. “I want to see you.”
Jared smiled and nodded. This was good; it was familiar - in a way. He pulled his fingers out, eliciting a moan from Jensen and settled himself into position.
“Hey,” Jensen caught his attention before he pushed in. “Slow, okay? A little bit at a time, you’re a big boy.” Jensen grinned and leaned up to kiss him.
Jared nodded and moved until he could feel Jensen’s opening at the tip of his cock. His body started shaking as he pushed forward, Jensen’s hands clasped his arms and as he just breached the entrance they both drew in sharp breaths. Jared paused before pushing in a little further, stopping when Jensen’s fingers tightened on his arm.
Jared swallowed thickly. Jensen’s body was squeezing him so tight; he’d never before felt anything like it. His body longed to slam into that tight heat but Jensen had told him to take it slow and he never wanted to hurt Jensen so he waited, his body shaking almost violently. He could feel Jensen around him starting to loosen, to relax and so he risked pushing in further, he kept going bit by bit until he was all the way in and he almost collapsed over Jensen, the strain of staying still was exhausting.
“You okay?” he asked Jensen, looking down at where he was biting his lip.
“Jesus, you’re big,” Jensen huffed out a laugh and Jared knew he was blushing.
“Am I hurting you?” Please tell me I’m not hurting you?
“No, it doesn’t hurt, baby. Just gimme a second though, okay?”
Again the whole mood had calmed, it was like they were wavering on a knifes-edge just waiting for the whole thing to become more intense than they could handle.
“How about you?” Jensen questioned, checking in on Jared.
“You’re so tight, tighter than any -” Jared really, really wanted to move.
“Okay, baby, I’m good,” Jensen told him and Jared almost cried with relief.
“You sure?”
“I need you to move now, please, Jay?”
Jared pulled out slowly, trembling with the effort to keep calm and not just fuck Jensen into the mattress straight away. When he pushed back in Jensen gasped and lifted his legs to loop them across Jared’s ass, Jensen pulled on him, helping him set the pace and pretty soon they had a good steady speed going.
“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” Jensen praised him and Jared thrust a little harder grunting at the effort. “That’s it, you’re doing it.”
“Ngh, Jen. You have - no idea how - amazing this feels,” Jared gulped and continued pumping into Jensen’s body, feeling his tightness take him in again and again, welcoming him into his heat.
“I’m right there with ya, baby.” Jensen curled his hand in Jared’s hair and guided him down for a kiss. It was sloppy at first, too much tongue, teeth clashing, but soon they found each other and the kiss turned deep, passionate, and full of the want and affection that emanated from each other. Jared moaned into Jensen’s welcoming mouth, his heart soaring at the fact that he got to be with Jensen like this, he couldn’t believe he’d been so worried about something so perfect.
Jared shifted, trying to get a better position, to get more grip, Jensen’s hip rising off the mattress. Suddenly Jensen screamed and threw his head back.
Jared froze. Oh god.
“What? Did I hurt you?” he asked his voice panicked.
“Don’t you dare fucking stop,” Jensen growled and used his legs to pull Jared back to him. When Jared pushed in again Jensen cried out again and that’s when Jared understood, he knew exactly what he was hitting inside Jensen’s body to get that reaction.
With this in mind Jared thrust harder and watched in wonder and Jensen thrashed about beneath him, a look of excruciating pleasure glowing from his face.
“My God,” Jared breathed, the sight of Jensen under him, the fact that it was Jared causing him to feel so good, watching him fall apart in his hands. “You’re beautiful.”
Then Jared had to kiss him, he had to find out what that ecstasy tasted like. Jensen in turn gripped Jared around the head and held him to his lips, not letting him pull away. They plundered each others mouths, taking everything they needed. Jared pumped faster and harder, his body screaming for release but Jared never wanted this to end.
“Touch me?” Jensen hissed. “Oh fuck - I need you to touch me.”
Jared tried to get his head around what Jensen was asking for, it only took him a moment then he was reaching between them and gripping Jensen’s cock.
“Oh God, Jay,” Jensen cried out. “Oh fuck, oh fuck.”
Jared’s movements became erratic, his thrust into Jensen harder and harder, trying his best to keep the same rhythm with his fist.
Jensen screamed, he shot hot white ropes of come over his stomach and Jared’s hand, his body tensed and he clenched around Jared hard.
“Jen, holy shit, Jen,” Jared cried Jensen’s name as his body exploded. His vision went white and every nerve in his body sang with joy. His hips continued to thrust, as though on autopilot, because the driver certainly wasn’t all there anymore. Slowly Jared’s senses started to return back to normal, he opened his eyes to see Jensen beneath him, panting just as hard as him and looking up at him.
“Hi,” Jared whispered.
“Hi,” Jensen smiled.
“Wow,” Jared said, unable to breathe long enough to get more than one word at a time out.
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, having the same breathing problems.
“Okay?”
“Amazing.”
Jared lowered his head to rest it on Jensen’s shoulder while they both fought for breath and waited to fully come down from their high. After a while Jensen shifted a little under him and Jared knew that now was the time to move. Carefully he pulled out and tied off the condom, tossing it towards the wastepaper basket he knew was there somewhere. Then he collapsed down next to Jensen, his body unable to hold him up anymore. Jensen reached to the nightstand and retrieved some tissues and they cleaned up as best they could.
Jared lay on his back and Jensen cuddled into his side, head on his shoulder and hand on his chest, a position that was so familiar to them now. Jared smiled and tightened his grip on Jensen, holding him closer and kissing his head affectionately.
That had undoubtedly been the best sex of his life, he didn’t give a shit that it was with a man, he only cared that it had been with Jensen. It had been perfect, the way their bodies fitted together, it was all so right, like it was meant to be. Now everything was good and Jared sighed a contented sigh, smiling as his eyes closed and felt Jensen’s breath against his skin, right where it should be.
“Come with me?” Jared said drowsily.
“No.”
And the world that had been Jared’s for the last few weeks shattered.
Chapter Nine
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared, Chris/Steve. Mentions of Jared/Sandy and Jensen/Tom.
Rating: N-17
Word Count: 44,000 (approx over all)
Summary: Sometimes trying to get away from your life doesn't all make things easier but can often make things better. Jared runs off for some time alone and the stray he picks up changes his world forever.
Disclaimer: Oh God, I wish!
Beta: Thanks to miss_somersault for her support. To looleebelle for her tireless hard work and confidence in me and prettiful_pout for completely saving my life! I altered a lot after getting it back so all mistakes are mine.
A/N: This will be several chapters long due to LJ size restrictions.
Also, this is my first posted J2 and I'm really terrified, I hope you all like it so please tell me what you think, good and bad?
Written for the Road Trip Challenge on spn_first_time
Chapter Eight
Later when Jared awoke he found Jensen watching him, a lazy smile on his face.
“Were you watching me sleep?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You looked so peaceful,” Jensen told him, still smiling.
“What time is it?” Jared shifted to try and find a clock; he secretly smiled at the feel of Jensen’s naked body rubbing against his.
“Dunno, but it’s still light out so I don’t think we slept that long,” Jensen said. “Did you want to get up?”
“God no,” Jared relaxed back down and pulled Jensen closer to him.
“Good, cause I don’t wanna move for the rest of the day,” Jensen draped an arm over Jared’s stomach and settled his head on his shoulder.
“That might be awkward when Steve’s mom calls us for dinner,” Jared pointed out and chuckled when Jensen huffed indignantly.
They lay in silence for a while, just enjoying being together and Jared let his mind wander.
“You’re thinking again,” Jensen said, poking him in the side.
“Hey,” Jared protested, poking him back.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jensen asked and started drawing patterns with his finger over Jared’s chest, tickling him slightly.
“Can I ask you something?” Jared said, his hand rubbing down Jensen’s spine, feeling every bump there was.
“Anything,”
“What’s it like?” Jared asked. He paused as though regretting what he was going to say.
“What’s what like?” Jensen probed gently.
Jared breathed deeply, “Sex - with a guy?” he asked quietly, embarrassed to be asking such a question.
“Depends on the guy, I guess,” Jensen answered honestly, with no hint that it was an uncomfortable topic for him.
“But, doesn’t it hurt?” Jared pressed, his heart beating a little faster.
“Yeah, it can do. Especially your first few times, but that’s why you prepare properly,” Jensen kept talking. “It’s good to have a partner who’ll make sure you’re ready before hand, someone who’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”
“What do you mean, prepare?” Jared felt like the confused virgin he was. But Jensen didn’t seem to mind, he just continued to explain patiently.
“Well, you can’t just stick it in there, so you start with your fingers,” Jensen told him. “It’s best to use plenty of lube, and then you use your fingers to stretch them open so it’s not too painful.”
“Oh.”
“What is it?” Jensen asked as though he could sense the frown on Jared’s face.
“Nothing. It’s just -” Jared faltered. “How can it possibly be nice?”
Jensen chuckled and kissed Jared’s chest a couple of times.
“It’s not as bad as you might think,” he told him. “Then of course there’s your prostate.”
“I’ve heard about that. Is it really that good?” Jared asked sceptically.
“God, Jay,” Jensen sighed and Jared felt Jensen’s body shudder a little. “When it’s touched, you know? Stimulated just right, there’s no feeling like it.”
“Really?” Jared wasn’t convinced.
“Do you want me to show you?” Now Jensen looked up and calmly took in Jared’s shocked face.
“You can do that?” Jared asked, shifting awkwardly.
“Sure. I mean, I’d have to put my finger inside you and it might be a bit uncomfortable at first, but I promise you that it feels amazing.” Jensen kissed Jared’s chest again, just a reassuring gesture.
“And you don’t have to - you know - have actual sex?”
“No, you don’t have to have actual sex,” Jensen smiled at him.
“I don’t know,” Jared said nervously. “I don’t know if I’m ready - for that.”
“That’s okay, baby. Whenever you’re ready.” Jensen nuzzled against his neck for a moment, giving him little, reassuring kisses.
Jared’s mind worked through all the information, taking it all in. Could it really feel that good? Just the thought of having someone’s fingers up his ass sent cold shivers through him, but the sincerity in Jensen’s voice when he spoke about how amazing it felt, sent a different type of shiver through him.
“Jen?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have any lube?”
Jensen sat up further and stared at Jared in shock. An apprehensive smile trying to pull on his lips.
“Really?” Jensen asked hopefully, his eyes wide.
“Show me,” Jared said with a confidence he didn’t really feel.
Jensen was up like a shot, rummaging around in his case until he came back with a tube that Jared assumed to be the lube. When Jensen was laying next to him again he kissed him firmly, deepening the kiss until they were both breathless and turned on, their bodies begging for more.
“Okay, baby.” Jensen flipped the top off the lube and squeezed some onto his fingers. “It’s really important that you relax for me, okay?”
Jared nodded. He gulped and licked his suddenly dry lips. Am I really going to do this?
“If you don’t like it, if you want me to stop at any time you’ll tell me, right?” Jared nodded again, not trusting his voice to not squeak or something equally embarrassing. “Promise me, Jay.”
Jensen stared at Jared insistently and Jared knew he wouldn’t continue without his word. “I promise,” Jared said in a slightly cracked voice. “I’ll say if it’s too much, I promise.”
“Okay, now kiss me,” Jensen ordered and Jared didn’t waste anytime pushing their lips together. Jensen kissed him deeply. When he licked at Jared’s mouth Jared snaked an arm around his neck and let him in straight away. Their tongues tangled and licked against each other and Jared moaned into the passionate kiss. He loved kissing Jensen; he’d never enjoyed kissing anyone as much a he did him.
Suddenly, Jensen’s moist finger was rubbing down Jared’s crack and he instinctively jerked. Then he forced himself to relax and concentrated on the kiss, on tasting Jensen’s mouth while his finger rubbed gently at his opening. It didn’t feel too bad so far, a little strange but it was okay.
Jensen moved his hand to lift Jared’s leg and hook it over his hip, they were laying on their sides and in this new position their cocks began to rub together. Then Jensen’s finger was back, rubbing in gentle circles and through the sensation of it Jared felt himself grow harder.
Jared flinched when Jensen’s finger penetrated him; he pulled away from the kiss and screwed his eyes closed.
“Relax, baby, it’s just me,” Jensen murmured softly against his ear, kissing him gently. “Come on, Jay. Let me in.”
Jared panted slightly as Jensen pushed his finger further inside. It didn’t hurt, not at all. It was just - strange. He wasn’t going to go as far as to say it felt good but it was certainly different.
“That’s it, baby, let me in,” Jensen continued to talk to him in a calming voice and Jared felt it do its magic. He relaxed. The shaking of his body lessening and Jensen began to move his finger, pulling it out and pushing it back in.
“You still with me?” Jensen questioned, dusting little kisses over Jared’s face.
“Y-yeah, I’m okay. Keep going,” Jared reassured him. He forced his eyes open and met Jensen’s concerned ones. “I’m okay,” he said more confidently.
“Feels weird, right?” Jensen said with a smile, all the while still moving his finger in and out, rubbing around.
“You could say that,” Jared laughed a little.
“You think you could handle another one?” Jensen questioned carefully, a little smile on his lips.
“I - I have no idea,” Jared gulped.
“Wanna try?”
Jared could feel another of Jensen’s fingers pressing against his entrance and a slight thrill shot through him. This isn’t so bad, but what would two fingers feel like?
“Yeah, okay,” Jared nodded and held his breath as Jensen pushed in the second finger.
“Nugh,” Jared gasped, he felt himself being spread further, a slight burn coursed through the tight muscles around Jensen’s fingers. His legs trembled and he clutched onto Jensen, digging his fingers in.
“Okay?” Jensen queried, concerned.
Jared breathed out before taking another, deep breath in. “Yeah, keep going.”
“Jay? Kiss me?” Jensen searched for Jared’s mouth, trailing kisses until he found it. Then they kissed hard, Jensen plundered Jared’s mouth with his tongue, seeking out every little crevice. Then he twisted his fingers and -
“FUCK!!!” Jared screamed and curled his body around Jensen’s; clinging to him like his life depended on it. “Holy fuck, do that again.”
Jensen grinned and did as he was told, pressing his fingers into Jared’s prostate. Jared cried out in pleasure, Jensen was right; nothing had ever felt this good.
“Oh Jesus Christ, don’t stop,” Jared begged and pushed himself back against Jensen’s hand. Shots of white hot bliss coursed their way through Jared body as Jensen’s relentless fingers rubbed against that spot inside him, and all Jared could do was ride it out, he had no control over anything his body was doing, all he could feel was the amazing effects of Jensen’s fingers inside him.
His body shook with the most intense pleasure he’d ever experienced, he knew he was mumbling incoherently and he was pretty sure his nails were digging so hard into Jensen’s flesh that he was drawing blood. But Jensen didn’t stop; his fingers rubbed him over and over while his mouth sucked bruises into his neck.
“That’s it, baby,” Jensen whispered in his ear, hot breath just adding to the series of sensations Jared was enduring. “I told you it was good, didn’t I? Isn’t it amazing, baby? Doesn’t it feel amazing?” Jensen continued to murmur and Jared was more and more turned on with every word and every trust of his fingers.
“So gorgeous, baby. I love how I can make you fall apart,” Jensen groaned. “God, the sounds you make, Jay, you’re so hot like this. I could come just listening to you, watching you.”
Jared was surprised when he suddenly shot his load, coming all over their stomachs. His whole body shook as wave after wave of pleasure poured through him, and then, everything was black.
“Jay? Jay, baby. You with me?” Jensen’s voice drifted through the darkness and Jared sighed, he liked Jensen calling him baby, it made him feel like he meant something more to him, something special. Jared opened his eyes and found Jensen sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at him. He was smiling but there was also concern filtering through his expression.
“Hey,” Jared said groggily. He tried to figure out why Jensen would be concerned and then it all came flooding back to him. Holy shit that had been good. “How long was I out?” Now came the embarrassment at having passed out.
“About twenty minutes,” Jensen told him. Jared looked down at himself. The come had been cleared from his and Jensen’s bodies and the covers were draped over his legs and groin. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just a bit fucked, that’s all.” Jared motioned with his hand that Jensen should lay down with him which he did immediately. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It was that good, huh?” Jensen asked, half teasing and half serious.
“You were right, Jen, there’s no feeling like it. I mean, wow! That was so amazing. Thank you.” Jared pressed his lips against Jensen’s before they settled down in each others arms. Jared was just drifting off to sleep again when there was a bang at the door.
“Come on you two love birds, stop fucking and come eat.” It was Chris. Jared and Jensen burst into laughter and Jensen shouted something rude at Chris but told him they’d be right down.
***
The dinner had been embarrassing; Chris and Steve had kept giving him knowing looks and winks. Even the kind smiles Mrs. Carlson had given him hadn’t failed to send hot flushes to his cheeks.
Now, a couple of days later, Jared watched the reason for that embarrassment sprawled on the ground of the Carlson’s garage, his head disappearing under the Impala, his top riding up to expose the skin on his flat, muscular stomach, and Jared’s heart leapt.
Jensen had asked if he could take a look at the Impala and of course Jared had said yes. Now Jensen was covered in grease and oil, his tight grey tee clinging to him as the sweat caused by the afternoon sun soaked his body, and Jared had to hold himself back from the man, he looked so damn sexy.
Jensen had spent the day showing him all sorts of things Jared hadn’t had a clue about on his car, things to look out for, how to keep certain things in check, but still all things Jared hadn’t known about before.
When they were both leaning under the hood, Jensen pointing things out, and Jared could take his eyes off him. His muscles flexing as he moved, his lips and they way they wrapped themselves around the words he spoke, even though Jared found it hard to concentrate on those words.
Finally Jensen leaned against the car and grinned at him.
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Jensen chuckled.
“That’s not true, I heard lots of words,” Jared said defensively.
“You just want to kiss me, don’t you?” Jensen smirked.
“Is that such a bad thing?” Jared asked innocently.
“Oh, I didn’t say that.” Jensen grinned and allowed Jared to move in close, pinning him against the car.
“Kissing you could never be a bad thing,” Jared confirmed quietly, as he lowered his face until he was able to claim Jensen’s lips.
“Hey you two. Don’t start that now,” Steve strolled into the garage like he owned the place - which considering it was his folks place wasn’t far off - and interrupted them. “Jen, if you’re wanting to come with me to the hospital you’d better get cleaned up.”
“Yeah, okay, gimme ten minutes and I’ll be right with ya,” Jensen reluctantly pushed Jared away. “I’ll catch you later, when I get back, okay?”
“You bet you will,” Jared caught another greedy kiss before Jensen grinned and went inside to shower and change.
When Jensen and Steve had left for the hospital Jared found himself at a bit of a loose end. That was until Chris appeared in front of him, handing him a beer.
“Thanks, man,” Jared accepted gratefully.
“What’s up, Big Jay, you look down,” Chris asked, using the nickname he’d given Jared.
“Nah, I’m okay,” Jared sighed and knew he didn’t sound convincing.
“Aw, come on, tell me, maybe I can help,” Chris nudged him in the side.
Jared sighed, maybe now was the time to talk about what was bothering him. “It’s just - this is gonna be my last night here, I’m gonna have to start making a move home tomorrow afternoon so I can get back and get settled ready to go back to work on time.”
“And?” Chris waited for the rest before commenting.
“And - I don’t wanna leave Jensen behind, but I don’t think he’ll come with me,” Jared confessed, feeling even worse now he’d voiced his concerns.
“Have you asked him?” Chris questioned.
“Yeah, I mentioned it a few day ago, but he said he didn’t think he could uproot himself like that,” Jared told him miserably. “And I can understand that, I mean, it’s not like we’ve known each other all that long, I can’t expect him to leave everything he knows behind. He’s been through a tough time recently and he needs things around him that are familiar, like you and Steve. I can’t expect him to change his whole life just for me.” Jared’s voice cracked and the reality of having to leave Jensen behind finally hit him.
“But you want him to? You want him to go back with you?” Chris asked, taking a gulp of his beer.
“I wish he could. I know it’s crazy and it’s really fast and I know that this whole gay thing is new to me, but with Jen - it’s just so right, you know?” Jared swallowed half his beer purely to fight the tears forming in his eyes. “I don’t know what to do so I don’t lose him.”
“From the looks of things there’s only one thing you can do about it,” Chris told him calmly, Jared looked at him and waited for some divine wisdom that would make everything okay. “You have to talk to him. Find out what he wants, how he feels. See if you can’t work something out together. You can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away, Big Jay, you want results you have to take action.”
Jared nodded and stared into his beer. “I know. I know I have to talk to him. But what if he says no? What if he doesn’t feel as strongly as I do? I mean, I think he does, it seems like he does, but what if I’ve read it all wrong and he doesn’t? What if he tells me to leave and that it was all just a bit of fun, satisfying some lust?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, buddy, you’re getting carried away with yourself,” Chris held up his hands as though Jared were a wild horse ready to bolt. “Listen, I know you mean a lot to Jen, he wouldn’t have had you stick around if you didn’t. And I think it’s likely a lot of those thoughts and fears are swimming around in his pretty little head too. God, I think I need to bash your skulls together. Now, when he gets back here, I suggest you talk to him, nice and calm like, don’t go jumping to any conclusions. You’re scared, but don’t let that be the emotion that drives you ‘cause that way leads to trouble, you get me?”
“Yeah, I get ya, Chris, thanks.” Jared finished off his beer. “You want another?”
Chris nodded and tipped his hat in thanks so Jared collected them another couple of beers. Together they sat and waited for their lovers to return home, until Chris got bored and challenged Jared to a game a hoops on the driveway, where there was a basket attached to the wall.
Jared gave Chris a weird look, knowing that he towered over him by miles but he agreed. It turned out that Chris used the height difference to his advantage; he was quick on his feet and ducked under Jared’s arms easily. The game was close but Jared was just in the lead when Steve and Jensen pulled up announcing they had take out.
Jared beamed when he saw Jensen and bounded over to him, lifting him in the air and rubbing his sweaty face in his neck. Jensen squirmed and tried to get away.
“Yuck, you’re gross, get off me,” Jensen complained but he was laughing.
Steve looked at Chris warningly, “If you even think about it you’ll be sleeping on the sofa.” Chris backed off, hands held in surrender and Steve grinned in victory.
“Okay you two; into the showers and be quick about it or we’ll eat your share of the food,” Jensen warned and pointed Chris and Jared inside to wash up.
Chris and Steve’s room had its own bathroom so Jared used the main one to have a quick, hot shower. Then he dressed and bounded down the stairs, just beating Chris to the table. Mrs. Carlson was spending the evening with her husband so it was just the four of them.
They ate and laughed, and drank beer until they were merry and sleepy. Soon, Steve was draping himself over Chris and whispering in his ear, it wasn’t long after that they were excusing themselves and going upstairs. Jensen laughed and watched them go, then he and Jared were alone and Jensen moved over to where Jared was seated on the sofa and straddled his legs.
“Hey you,” he said quietly.
“Hey yourself,” Jared smiled up at him, but his smile wasn’t full and Jensen could tell. “Jen, can we talk?”
Jensen groaned and kissed Jared’s neck, “Do we have to?” he said, moving to nibble Jared’s ear.
“I’d like to,” Jared said, trying not to let Jensen distract him. “Don’t you think we should?”
“I think -” Jensen circled his hips, pressing his already half hard dick into Jared’s crouch. “- that we should go upstairs.”
“Jen, you know I have to leave tomorrow,” Jared insisted but Jensen didn’t stop, instead he worked harder to arouse Jared, pushing his shirt up and biting his nipples.
“I know,” Jensen moaned and started work on Jared’s jeans. “So, let’s not waste anymore time, okay?”
“Jen, I really think -” Jared started but faltered when Jensen’s hand dug under his boxers and grabbed his dick.
Jensen looked directly into Jared’s fast dilating eyes, “You think too much,” he told him and then swallowed any other protest by sealing their lips together. His hand continued to work Jared’s cock until it was fully erect and Jared had no choice but to go with it. He swore to himself that they would talk after, but right now Jensen really seemed to need this and who was Jared to deny him, especially when he wanted it just as badly?
“Upstairs,” Jensen ordered breathlessly. “Now!” Jared nodded and they leapt to their feet and almost ran up the stairs.
When they were shut firmly in their room, Jensen was turning on Jared again and practically tearing his clothes off. His jeans were first to go since they were already undone, his boxers followed directly after and his top was ripped off his head dangerously fast. Somehow Jensen had been managing to shed his own clothes at the same time and he now shoved Jared against the door and fell straight to his knees.
This time he didn’t ask for permission, they were way past that. He took Jared’s long dick in his mouth and sucked it hard.
“Ngh.” Jared slammed his head back against the door and moaned loudly, his climax building quickly. Jensen was desperate, like he wanted to devour Jared through his cock, he sucked hard and fast, then he was pulling off and dragging Jared over to the bed, pushing him onto his back and climbing over to straddle him.
Jared didn’t even have time to catch his breath before Jensen was attacking his mouth again, slipping and sliding their bodies together.
Jared was forced to tear his mouth away so he could gasp some air. “Jesus, Jen,” he panted, closing his eyes at the sensation of their cocks rubbing together.
“Jay,” Jensen spoke into his neck, never stopping his relentless kisses. “God, Jay, I want you, I want you so badly, baby.”
Jared shuddered at those words. They both terrified and exhilarated him.
“Jen, I -” He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what he wanted.
“Please, baby, I need you,” Jensen begged. “I wanna feel you inside me.”
“I don’t know how,” Jared gasped as Jensen bit his shoulder, hard.
“You do, I showed you, just like I showed you,” Jensen panted. “Please, Jay, God, please?”
“Okay, yeah okay, Jen,” Jared was saying before he realised it, but the feel of Jensen against him, rubbing him, kissing and biting him, he was on sensory overload and he was pretty sure there wasn’t any blood left to run his brain.
Jensen shifted slightly, and then he was pushing the tube of lube into Jared’s hand, along with a condom. He lay next to Jared, and they stilled for a moment, breathing hard and staring each other in the eyes.
“You sure you want me to do this?” Jared needed to know it was okay.
“I’m more than sure, Jay,” Jensen confirmed. He ran a hand over Jared’s chest lightly and Jared closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling.
“What if I hurt you?” Jared asked, keeping his eyes closed. He felt a hand on his face and a soft kiss on his lips.
“Hey?” He slowly opened his eyes and met Jensen’s. “You won’t hurt me,” Jensen said seriously, his eyes confident. Jared searched those eyes before he nodded.
His hands shook as he tried to get the top off the lube. “Here,” Jensen whispered and took the tube, coating his fingers for him. “It’s okay, baby. I trust you.”
How can you when I’m not even sure I trust myself? Jared thought silently. He lower his trembling hand and Jensen lifted his leg to hook it over Jared’s hip, just as he’d done to Jared, keeping things familiar and Jared was grateful for that. Cautiously Jared felt around until he found Jensen’s tight, puckered entrance. He stilled and swallowed, trying to get his breathing under control. I don’t know if I can do this.
He looked to Jensen who was staring at him, a little desperation in his eyes. Jared circled Jensen’s entrance and watched as Jensen’s breath shuddered slightly. He studied the expressions darting across Jensen’s face with keen interest. Then he pushed a little harder and the tip of his finger disappeared inside. Jensen gasped, his lips parting and his eyes drifting closed. The corners of his mouth tipped into a small smile and Jared slowly pushed further inside.
It was nothing like fingering a woman, it was so much tighter, Jensen’s body clenching slightly around him, and the look of pleasure on Jensen’s face was enough to wash away Jared’s fears. He focused solely on Jensen’s face, gauging each and every expression it went through. Soon Jared’s finger was moving slowly but confidently and he could literally feel Jensen relaxing around him.
“Okay?” he spoke in a whisper, afraid to shatter this tender moment.
Jensen opened his eyes, his soft gaze falling on Jared and he shifted his body closer to his. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he promised. All desperation and frantic movements of before gone, now it was calm, soft, and yet sweat dripped down Jared’s back and beaded on Jensen’s forehead.
“Another?” Jared questioned, not wanted to do too much too fast.
“God yes, please?” Jensen nodded firmly and kept Jared’s eyes locked to his as Jared pushed in another finger. Jensen’s mouth opened in a silent moan, his eyes boring holes into Jared. He was pushing his body back against Jared’s hand, his movement causing their cocks to rub together and Jared sighed, happy for the friction to relieve a little of the pressure building in him.
“Open your fingers,” Jensen panted slightly and Jared complied, doing as he was told, scissoring his fingers and stretching Jensen further.
Jared wondered if he could find that spot in Jensen, so he gently began exploring the walls of Jensen’s hole, but he couldn’t find it, not until he twisted and pressed - there!
“Ngh,” Jensen cried out, his fingers gripping Jared’s arms tightly, digging his nails in. Jared smiled and pressed again. Jensen pressed his head against Jared’s shoulder and breathed hot hard breaths against his skin and Jared continued to stimulate that spot. “Oh fuck yes,” Jensen pushed back against him, practically fucking himself on Jared’s fingers. “That’s it, baby, more.”
Jared pushed in another finger, effectively losing his purchase on the spot but Jensen didn’t seem to mind, he stretched willingly, suddenly kissing Jared, his desperation coming back in full force.
“Now, Jay,” Jensen groaned. “I need you now.”
Jared nodded; his cock was so hard he barely dared touch it. It turned out he didn’t have to, Jensen took the condom from him and ripped it open. He slid it over him quickly and then slipped the top off the lube and coated his length generously, Jared biting his lip against the want to thrust into Jensen’s fist.
“How do we -?” Jared asked breathlessly.
“On my back,” Jensen said, he rolled onto his back and pulled Jared with him. “I want to see you.”
Jared smiled and nodded. This was good; it was familiar - in a way. He pulled his fingers out, eliciting a moan from Jensen and settled himself into position.
“Hey,” Jensen caught his attention before he pushed in. “Slow, okay? A little bit at a time, you’re a big boy.” Jensen grinned and leaned up to kiss him.
Jared nodded and moved until he could feel Jensen’s opening at the tip of his cock. His body started shaking as he pushed forward, Jensen’s hands clasped his arms and as he just breached the entrance they both drew in sharp breaths. Jared paused before pushing in a little further, stopping when Jensen’s fingers tightened on his arm.
Jared swallowed thickly. Jensen’s body was squeezing him so tight; he’d never before felt anything like it. His body longed to slam into that tight heat but Jensen had told him to take it slow and he never wanted to hurt Jensen so he waited, his body shaking almost violently. He could feel Jensen around him starting to loosen, to relax and so he risked pushing in further, he kept going bit by bit until he was all the way in and he almost collapsed over Jensen, the strain of staying still was exhausting.
“You okay?” he asked Jensen, looking down at where he was biting his lip.
“Jesus, you’re big,” Jensen huffed out a laugh and Jared knew he was blushing.
“Am I hurting you?” Please tell me I’m not hurting you?
“No, it doesn’t hurt, baby. Just gimme a second though, okay?”
Again the whole mood had calmed, it was like they were wavering on a knifes-edge just waiting for the whole thing to become more intense than they could handle.
“How about you?” Jensen questioned, checking in on Jared.
“You’re so tight, tighter than any -” Jared really, really wanted to move.
“Okay, baby, I’m good,” Jensen told him and Jared almost cried with relief.
“You sure?”
“I need you to move now, please, Jay?”
Jared pulled out slowly, trembling with the effort to keep calm and not just fuck Jensen into the mattress straight away. When he pushed back in Jensen gasped and lifted his legs to loop them across Jared’s ass, Jensen pulled on him, helping him set the pace and pretty soon they had a good steady speed going.
“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” Jensen praised him and Jared thrust a little harder grunting at the effort. “That’s it, you’re doing it.”
“Ngh, Jen. You have - no idea how - amazing this feels,” Jared gulped and continued pumping into Jensen’s body, feeling his tightness take him in again and again, welcoming him into his heat.
“I’m right there with ya, baby.” Jensen curled his hand in Jared’s hair and guided him down for a kiss. It was sloppy at first, too much tongue, teeth clashing, but soon they found each other and the kiss turned deep, passionate, and full of the want and affection that emanated from each other. Jared moaned into Jensen’s welcoming mouth, his heart soaring at the fact that he got to be with Jensen like this, he couldn’t believe he’d been so worried about something so perfect.
Jared shifted, trying to get a better position, to get more grip, Jensen’s hip rising off the mattress. Suddenly Jensen screamed and threw his head back.
Jared froze. Oh god.
“What? Did I hurt you?” he asked his voice panicked.
“Don’t you dare fucking stop,” Jensen growled and used his legs to pull Jared back to him. When Jared pushed in again Jensen cried out again and that’s when Jared understood, he knew exactly what he was hitting inside Jensen’s body to get that reaction.
With this in mind Jared thrust harder and watched in wonder and Jensen thrashed about beneath him, a look of excruciating pleasure glowing from his face.
“My God,” Jared breathed, the sight of Jensen under him, the fact that it was Jared causing him to feel so good, watching him fall apart in his hands. “You’re beautiful.”
Then Jared had to kiss him, he had to find out what that ecstasy tasted like. Jensen in turn gripped Jared around the head and held him to his lips, not letting him pull away. They plundered each others mouths, taking everything they needed. Jared pumped faster and harder, his body screaming for release but Jared never wanted this to end.
“Touch me?” Jensen hissed. “Oh fuck - I need you to touch me.”
Jared tried to get his head around what Jensen was asking for, it only took him a moment then he was reaching between them and gripping Jensen’s cock.
“Oh God, Jay,” Jensen cried out. “Oh fuck, oh fuck.”
Jared’s movements became erratic, his thrust into Jensen harder and harder, trying his best to keep the same rhythm with his fist.
Jensen screamed, he shot hot white ropes of come over his stomach and Jared’s hand, his body tensed and he clenched around Jared hard.
“Jen, holy shit, Jen,” Jared cried Jensen’s name as his body exploded. His vision went white and every nerve in his body sang with joy. His hips continued to thrust, as though on autopilot, because the driver certainly wasn’t all there anymore. Slowly Jared’s senses started to return back to normal, he opened his eyes to see Jensen beneath him, panting just as hard as him and looking up at him.
“Hi,” Jared whispered.
“Hi,” Jensen smiled.
“Wow,” Jared said, unable to breathe long enough to get more than one word at a time out.
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, having the same breathing problems.
“Okay?”
“Amazing.”
Jared lowered his head to rest it on Jensen’s shoulder while they both fought for breath and waited to fully come down from their high. After a while Jensen shifted a little under him and Jared knew that now was the time to move. Carefully he pulled out and tied off the condom, tossing it towards the wastepaper basket he knew was there somewhere. Then he collapsed down next to Jensen, his body unable to hold him up anymore. Jensen reached to the nightstand and retrieved some tissues and they cleaned up as best they could.
Jared lay on his back and Jensen cuddled into his side, head on his shoulder and hand on his chest, a position that was so familiar to them now. Jared smiled and tightened his grip on Jensen, holding him closer and kissing his head affectionately.
That had undoubtedly been the best sex of his life, he didn’t give a shit that it was with a man, he only cared that it had been with Jensen. It had been perfect, the way their bodies fitted together, it was all so right, like it was meant to be. Now everything was good and Jared sighed a contented sigh, smiling as his eyes closed and felt Jensen’s breath against his skin, right where it should be.
“Come with me?” Jared said drowsily.
“No.”
And the world that had been Jared’s for the last few weeks shattered.
Chapter Nine