Road Trip--Escape to where? 6/9
Title: Escape to where? 6/9
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared, Chris/Steve. Mentions of Jared/Sandy and Jensen/Tom.
Rating: N-17
Word Count: 44,000 (nearly over all)
Summary: Sometimes trying to get away from your life doesn't all make things easier but can often make things better. Jared runs off for some time alone and the stray he picks up changes his world forever.
Disclaimer: Oh God, I wish!
Beta: Thanks to miss_somersault for her support. To looleebelle for her tireless hard work and confidence in me and prettiful_pout for completely saving my life!
A/N: This will be several chapters long due to LJ size restrictions.
Also, this is my first posted J2 and I'm really terrified, I hope you all like it so please tell me what you think, good and bad?
Written for the Road Trip Challenge on spn_first_time
Chapter Six
Jared stretched happily when he woke again, the memories of what had happened and what the result flooding back into his brain. Did I really say my body was running off without me? He groaned at his lameness and reached out an arm for Jensen, wanting to hold his new boyfriend. But Jensen wasn’t there; the covers were still a little warm so he couldn’t have been gone all that long.
The sun was just starting to come up so Jared figured he might as well get up anyway, he’d go and find Jensen, see if he was alright, today was the big day and there was no doubt going to be a lot of tension on the house.
He crawled out of bed and shivered in the morning chill. He got some fresh clothes from his bag and crossed the hall to use the bathroom. He looked longingly at the shower but didn’t want to impose on the family too much, he wasn’t sure if this was the only bathroom or not, and didn’t want to make people wait. So he used the sink to wash his body and freshen up as much as he could, before getting dressed and heading down stairs.
His nose was drawn to the aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen and smiled as he imagined Jensen sitting at the counter nursing a cup like he did every morning.
Jared was brought up short before he entered the room by Jensen’s angry voice.
“What is your problem with him, Steve? Why are you being such an ass hole?” Jensen was obviously trying to stay fairly quiet but his emotions forced the volume to rise a little.
“I don’t have a problem with him, I think he’s an okay guy from what I can see,” came Steve’s voice, completely calm.
“You could’ve fooled me,” Jensen snapped.
“He’s just not right for you, Jen,” Steve insisted.
“Steve, you’ve said that about every guy I’ve ever been with,” Jensen argued.
“And I’ve been right, every single time,” Steve pointed out.
“Well, you’re wrong this time,” Jensen told him. “I really like him, okay. Can’t you just support me on this one, be happy for me?”
“You really like him? You barely know him!” Steve’s voice started getting louder, trying to get his point across. “I know you, Jensen, you fall fast and you fall hard, and you don’t let your brain make the decisions for you.” Jensen was silent so Steve continued. “You’ve just broken up with Tom, had your whole life up heaved, and this guy was there, he was convenient.”
“That’s not true,” Jensen said shakily, but Jared could tell Steve was getting to him.
“You’re good looking, Jen, you turn heads everywhere you go. This is no different. What happens when Jared’s settled his curiosity, realises he really is straight and leaves you hanging?” Steve said insistently.
“He wouldn’t do that,” Jensen said quietly. “He likes me, cares about me.”
“For now.”
Jensen was quiet and Jared’s heart ached. He was loosing him, he’d only just got him and he was loosing him already. Fucking Steve, butting his nose in. Ruining everything. He was just about to burst into the kitchen and demand that Steve take it all back when Jensen spoke again, his voice stronger this time.
“Listen, maybe things won’t work out. I don’t have a crystal ball. I can’t tell you it’s a match made in heaven or that we’ll be together forever like some fucking fairytale. But what I can tell you is that I like Jared, a lot, and he likes me too. Okay, so he’s a little confused about his sexuality at the moment, I’m okay with that and I’m gonna be there for him while he figures it out. If he decides he’s not gay, that he doesn’t like being with men, or being with me, then I’ll let him go. And so what if it hurts, life hurts all the time, but I’m not going to give up before I’ve even given it a chance. I can’t tell the future, but shouldn’t I at least be able to hope for it?” Jensen paused for a moment, catching his breath after his little outburst and Jared’s chest swelled with pride, push over indeed. “But you’re my best friend, Steve, my brother, and I’d really like it if you’d give him a chance too, ‘cause it’s gonna be really hard if you’re always throwing digs at him and giving him evil looks. Please, Steve, for me, please?”
Steve didn’t say anything for the longest time; Jared held his breath as he waited for his reaction. He prayed he’d be okay with them being together, Jensen needed his best friend to be there for him, especially after everything that happened with Tom, and Jensen needed to be there for Steve, now, there was no way Jared wanted to get in the way of that.
“I do like the guy, you know?” Steve said finally. “I just worry about you; that’s all.”
“I know, and I love you for it, I do, but you have to let me live my own life.”
“I’ll give him a chance,” Steve sighed. “For you. But the second he messes up I’ll be on him like a ten ton weight.”
“Thank you,” Jensen said and Jared could tell he was smiling. “Come here and give us a hug, big brother.”
“Looks like you’re in the clear,” a quiet voice said next to Jared’s ear. He jumped and spun to see Chris grinning at him. “It’s okay; I was waiting for them to hash it out, now we can have coffee.”
Chris breezed past Jared into the kitchen. “Morning people; tell me there’s coffee,” Chris announced himself loudly. “Jen, put my boy down, you’ve got your own.”
Taking that as his queue to enter Jared made his way into the kitchen. “Morning,” he said quietly, not sure what sort of a greeting he was going to get.
“Hey,” Jensen said affectionately, smiling at him and immediately going over to pull him in for a kiss. Jared went willingly and for a moment he was lost in the warmth of Jensen’s lips and the smell of coffee on his breath. When they pulled apart Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s.
“Hey,” he breathed, smiling down at Jensen, his thumb rubbing gently against his hip.
“You want some coffee?” Jensen asked, leaning up to kiss him again.
“I’d love some, thanks,” Jared pulled Jensen back when he went to move away and stole yet another kiss, smiling happily at how Jensen had greeted him good morning.
“Here you go,” Steve said as he handed Jared a steaming mug filled with the dark liquid. Jared eyed it suspiciously before shooting Jensen a questioning glance. Jensen just grinned at him.
“It hasn’t got arsenic or something in it, has it?” Jared asked, taking the mug and sniffing it cautiously.
Steve laughed and shook his head. “Just caffeine I swear,” he said holding his hands up as if to prove himself.
Jared eyed Steve and smiled a little. “Thanks,” he said, giving Steve and appreciative nod, Steve nodded back, like a silent agreement between the two men to make the effort.
“Morning boys,” a very tired looking Mrs. Carlson called as she entered the kitchen. She was immediately greeted with kisses and her own coffee. “Right, well we’ve got a big day ahead of us, I say we start it right and have pancakes.”
That suggestion was met with growling stomachs and enthusiastic nods. So Mrs. Carlson busied herself expertly in the kitchen while everyone else went to sit around the table, sipping coffees and making small talk.
When the big plate heaped, full of pancakes was carried into the room there was a small cheer and eager faces. But when their own plates were piled high and syrup had been generously poured, the only people who ended up eating greedily were Chris and Jared, everyone else picked at their food and stared as the syrup smeared around the plate.
Jared looked at his empty plate and felt guilty that he still retained an appetite. In many ways this was a brilliant morning for him, he’d gained a boyfriend, they’d sorted out where they stood with each other and Steve wasn’t giving him a hard time, but for everyone else, this was the day of reckoning and their stomachs refused to want sustenance.
Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand, causing him to look up at him. He mouthed, you okay? Jensen just nodded and smiled sadly, but he squeezed his hand back and then didn’t let go, so Jared turned his wrist so they could link fingers and gently rubbed his thumb over Jensen’s soft skin.
***
Before they knew it they were at the hospital and Jared was sitting in the waiting room again while the family went to see Mr. Carlson before his operation. He was resigned to sit there for sometime but Jensen suddenly appeared in front of him looking slightly nervous.
“What is it?” Jared was on his feet instantly.
“Um, he wants to meet you,” Jensen said sheepishly.
“What? Why?”
“To give you the once over, see if you’re good enough for me,” Jensen smiled shyly, his cheeks blushing in the most adorable way.
“Erm, okay, I guess,” Jared gulped and followed Jensen into the hospital room. The crowd of family parted to allow Jared to join them.
“Ah, this must be the Jared I’ve been hearing so much about.”
Jared looked down to meet the frail looking man in the bed. Mr. Carlson held out a shaky hand and Jared gripped it gently but firmly.
“That would be me. It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” Jared said politely.
“I hear you’re courting our Jensen here?” Mr. Carlson said, giving a sly smile.
The others in the room sniggered, probably at the word ‘courting’ just as much as Jared’s obvious discomfort.
“You heard right, Mr. Carlson,” Jared nodded and smiled over at Jensen, who stepped closer and gripped his hand, reassuringly.
“Well you listen here, that boy is like a son to me, so you treat him right, you hear?” Mr. Carlson said sternly, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes.
Jared grinned at the old man, liking him instantly. “I plan to do my very best, sir,” he said confidently, squeezing Jensen’s hand.
“Good,” Mr. Carlson said, satisfied. “But stop calling me sir, you make me sound like my father.”
Suddenly a doctor appeared in the doorway clearing his throat. “We’re ready for you Mr. Carlson,” he spoke authoritively.
“Yeah, alright doc, just let me do the rounds,” Mr. Carlson said grumpily. “Jared, good to meet you boy, and just remember what I said.”
“I will,” Jared stepped back letting Jensen through as he went and gave the man a hug.
“Jensen, my boy. That’s a good strong man you’ve got there, polite too.”
“Yeah, he is,” Jensen held the man close.
“You make sure he takes good care of you, you deserve something good in your life.”
“I have you,” Jensen half sobbed into his shoulder. Mr. Carlson patted him on the back before releasing him.
“It’s good to see you, boy.” Jensen moved away and Chris stepped up and took his turn at a hug, being told he would always be welcome in their family and that there wasn’t a better match out there for Steve than him.
Next Steve moved up and Jared discreetly exited the room, leaving the family to say what could be their goodbyes.
It only took a few minutes before the room was being emptied and orderlies were wheeling Mr. Carlson away down the hall. As soon as he was out of sight Mrs. Carlson broke down, her false facade finally shattering and her tears falling freely. Steve caught her in his arms and led her away to the waiting room, his own face steeled against the emotions he was undoubtedly feeling, but he remained strong for his mother. Jared had no doubt that Chris would be doing the same for him somewhere in the near future. Chris followed Steve, being right there as soon as he was needed, a silent pillar of strength.
Jared looked towards Jensen, who just stood there, staring down the hall where the bed had been wheeled away. Silently, Jared embraced Jensen from behind, pulling him close and kissing him on the cheek.
“I’m here, whenever you need me,” he whispered to him. Jensen simply nodded and took Jared’s hand like it was an anchor to the world. Jared allowed himself to be led towards the waiting room where the family would sit until the outcome of the operation was known to them.
***
The wait was Hell! Twice, so far, Chris had been forced to pull Steve away from the door because he wanted to burst out there and demand to know what was going on. Mrs. Carlson went from crying her heart out; to sitting in silence, to being way too chipper and fetching everyone coffee and sandwiches - which were left untouched - saying they had to eat to keep their strength up.
The hours passed slowly, everyone took their turn to pace the room, whether to release pent up emotions or to just relieve some energy.
Jensen stayed close to Jared, holding on to his hand most of the time. Jared could feel him trembling even under the skin. Eventually Jensen stood and announced he was going to get some air, and that he had his phone if they were told anything.
Jared wasn’t sure whether or not to follow him but after the looks he got from Chris and Steve he was immediately out of his seat and following him down the hall.
Jensen didn’t go outside, instead he went into one of the bathrooms and Jared found him drenching his face in water, his body trembling with emotion.
“Hey,” Jared whispered, moving to Jensen like he was a magnet, he couldn’t stay away, especially when he was in pain.
“Jared.” Jensen fell into him. “I can’t take this, I feel like I’m going to burst from my skin. It’s taking too long, why don’t we know anything yet?”
“You know they’ll tell us something as soon as there’s something for us to know,” Jared tried to reassure him.
“What if he dies, Jared? I don’t know if I could handle it if he died!” Tears fell down Jensen’s face. Jared had been waiting for this, waiting for the moment Jensen would break, when he would fall apart. But what should I do now? How can I possibly make him feel better?
Jensen broke away from Jared and paced the tiled floor; he was rambling things about how he should’ve seen him more, made more of an effort to visit him.
“They should’ve picked this up earlier, they should’ve seen the signs and known what it was, they should have caught it earlier, then he would be okay, then he might not, oomph -” Jared kissed him, stopping his pacing, halting his rambling, he kissed him and Jensen shut up.
Jared deepened the kiss, pushing Jensen backwards until his back was forcing open one of the stall doors. Jared kicked the door closed behind them and reached out one hand to lock it.
“Jay, what are you -?”
“Shut up,” Jared told him and Jensen complied, kissing Jared hungrily.
Jared pushed his body against Jensen’s, feeling the heat between them burn; and other things grow.
“Relax, Jen,” Jared whispered. “Just relax.”
Jared rubbed his body against Jensen’s, pulling moan after moan from Jensen’s mouth which he swallowed greedily. His hands moved over Jensen’s body, feeling every rivet, every dent, every muscle. He moved his mouth to devour Jensen’s throat, sucking and licking and kissing every single bit of flesh he could find like it was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. When he ran out of skin to taste he started pulling aside Jensen’s clothes, almost ripping them in his eagerness to reveal more of the man.
Jensen’s head tipped back against the tiled wall, his eyes squeezed closed and his mouth hung open in a silent moan.
Jared hands wandered down, he fingered Jensen’s belt, pulling it open and fumbling with the button on his jeans.
“Jay?” Jensen gasped worriedly.
“It’s okay, Jen. It’s okay, just relax,” Jared promised him as he pulled his zipper down and delved his hand inside his boxers.
Jared’s breath hitched at the feel of Jensen’s hard cock in his hand, skin against skin. It felt similar to his own, a little shorter and thicker but Jared’s large hand fitted around it like a glove.
“Oh God,” Jensen breathed and buried a moan in Jared’s neck. His hips bucked into Jared’s hand and Jared tightened his grip, letting Jensen fuck his fist.
“Let it go,” Jared whispered onto Jensen’s lips and kissed him again. He continued to stroke him, twisting his wrist on ever up stoke, just the way he liked it himself. Jensen’s response was encouraging and Jared didn’t feel awkward at all. Instead he revelled in the noises he caused to escape from Jensen’s mouth, the sweat he could feel on Jensen’s skin.
“Jay, oh fuck, Jay,” Jensen panted, pawing at Jared’s shoulders and back. Jared pulled harder and kissed firmer, speeding up all his movements. Suddenly Jensen cried out and warm liquid was spilling over Jared’s hand.
Jensen’s body shook and Jared pressed him firmly into the wall to hold him up when his legs gave way.
Jared listened as Jensen’s ragged breaths entered his lungs; he felt the weight of Jensen’s head on his shoulder and his hot breath panting against his neck.
His hand was sticky and he held it aside, Jensen’s come dripping onto the floor. But he didn’t care, in fact he loved the feel of Jensen’s release on his fingers, knowing that he had caused that, that he had made Jensen make those sounds and feel that way, pride built in his chest.
“Jay, you just -” Jensen gasped.
“I know,” Jared said in amazement at himself, and then suddenly he felt very self-conscious. “Was it okay?”
Jensen laughed, he fucking laughed. Then he pulled his head back so he could look into Jared’s eyes. He looked fucked out, completed sated with a lazy grin pulling on his lips.
“That was more than okay, Jay,” Jensen nuzzled into him. “Thank you.”
Jared smiled, happy that Jensen had enjoyed it, and he surprisingly couldn’t wait to do it again. After last nights fears, just knowing that Jensen was willing to wait for him, made him want it even more. It took away so much of the doubt and pressure he’d been feeling and now he just wanted to experience things. He’d get around to it all eventually, but he figured that that was a pretty good start.
“You’re welcome,” Jared murmured and kissed Jensen deeply before pulling away and reaching for the tissue to wipe them clean.
“Don’t you want me to -?” Jensen reached for Jared’s still full hard on but Jared backed away, holding Jensen’s hand at bay.
“One step at a time, Jen.” He lifted Jensen’s hand to kiss his knuckles.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jensen leaned against him and Jared wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and never wanting to let him go.
Jared sighed, “Yeah, I know,” he said cheekily and received a light punch on his arm for his troubles. “You ready to go back?” he asked Jensen gently and winced when he saw his beautiful smile drop, replaced by a thin, tight line.
Jensen nodded grimly and allowed Jared to lead him out of stall. He waited while Jared quickly washed his hands to get rid of the incriminating stink of sex and then leaned into him when Jared put his arm around his shoulders.
When they walked back into the waiting room Jensen nodded to Steve and Chris to let them know he was alright, before settling himself next to Jared and curling into his side. Jared pulled him closer and encased him in his arms. He chanced a glance over to the other two men and was pleasingly surprised to see Steve giving him an approving look. Jared simply held Jensen tighter and placed a kiss on his head.
***
Jared had lost track of the hours they’d been waiting when the doctor finally entered the room. Everyone jumped up but were respectfully silent. Jared had expected the poor doctor to be bombarded with questions and demands; instead they all just waited for him to speak. Jared could almost hear the hearts pumping double time, his own included. When the doctor smiled he swore it skipped a beat.
“It went well,” the doctor told them. “We found the tumour and managed to successfully remove it. He’s been moved to the ICU and we’ll continue to monitor him but I expect him to make a full recovery.”
The tension in the room evaporated with the collective sighs of relief and Jared felt as light as air. Now the questions did start, Jared had trouble keeping up with all the details but eventually they were told they could see him one at a time and only for a few minutes, that he was still unconscious and his face and eyes were a little swollen, but that was normal and it was nothing to worry about.
Mrs. Carlson went first and Jared hung back as he watched Jensen and Steve exchange hugs, they hung on to each other for a while but Jared just smiled at them, feeling no resentment or threatened in anyway.
When Mrs. Carlson came back it was Steve’s turn and eventually Jensen’s. As soon as Jensen left the room Steve was in front of Jared, his expression serious.
Here we go, Jared thought. This was the part where he gets threatened and he gets to see Steve’s true colours.
“Thank you,” was what he got instead and Jared had to blink to be sure it was Steve talking to him.
“For what?” Jared asked, confused.
“For taking care of Jen,” Steve explained, a smile playing on his lips. “I know Jen, better than he knows himself. I knew he was going to break and I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did, but I think that’s thanks to you too. I don’t know what you said or did when Jen left this room but I honestly wasn’t expecting you to bring him back. I was totally ready to go after you guys but Chris said to give you some time and you surprised me.”
“I think Jensen’s stronger than you give him credit for,” Jared said bravely and Steve smiled.
“Jensen takes his strength from the people around him, always has, but I’ve never seen him like he is with you, the way he looks at you, defends you even. Jensen has never defended any of his boyfriends to me before, not even Tom, so that’s saying something.”
Jared couldn’t help but grin at that, standing up a little straighter.
“But you know that if you ever hurt him I’ll beat you so bad you won’t recognise yourself?” Steve smirked.
“Goes without saying,” Jared nodded but smiled at Steve.
“But has to be said anyway,” Steve smiled back.
“Oh, and just so you know,” Chris chimed in. “That goes double for me.” He slapped Jared on the back just as Jensen walked back in.
“Is it safe?” Jensen asked cautiously.
“Absolutely,” Jared told him taking him in his arms. “The inquisitions over.”
“And you survived? I’m impressed,” Jensen pulled Jared down for a kiss.
“I do my best,” Jared murmured against his lips, memories of the bathroom coming back to him, making him feel uncomfortably tight in his skin. Jensen hummed happily and kissed him again.
“Okay, now that’s just sickeningly sweet,” Steve said.
“Put him down, Big Jay,” Chris called. “Anyone would’ve thought you hadn’t eaten all day.”
At that Jared’s stomach growled and he and Jensen broke apart to laugh. Jensen put a hand to his own stomach.
“Food sounds like a great idea,” he said.
“You boys go get something to eat, I’m going to wait here for your father to wake up,” Mrs. Carlson said, reminding Jared of her presence and he blushed, embarrassed to have been kissing like that in front of her.
“Yes Ma’am,” Jensen said hungrily and started pulling Jared out the door, Jared went with a laugh and a wave. Yeah, things were looking good.
Chapter Seven
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared, Chris/Steve. Mentions of Jared/Sandy and Jensen/Tom.
Rating: N-17
Word Count: 44,000 (nearly over all)
Summary: Sometimes trying to get away from your life doesn't all make things easier but can often make things better. Jared runs off for some time alone and the stray he picks up changes his world forever.
Disclaimer: Oh God, I wish!
Beta: Thanks to miss_somersault for her support. To looleebelle for her tireless hard work and confidence in me and prettiful_pout for completely saving my life!
A/N: This will be several chapters long due to LJ size restrictions.
Also, this is my first posted J2 and I'm really terrified, I hope you all like it so please tell me what you think, good and bad?
Written for the Road Trip Challenge on spn_first_time
Chapter Six
Jared stretched happily when he woke again, the memories of what had happened and what the result flooding back into his brain. Did I really say my body was running off without me? He groaned at his lameness and reached out an arm for Jensen, wanting to hold his new boyfriend. But Jensen wasn’t there; the covers were still a little warm so he couldn’t have been gone all that long.
The sun was just starting to come up so Jared figured he might as well get up anyway, he’d go and find Jensen, see if he was alright, today was the big day and there was no doubt going to be a lot of tension on the house.
He crawled out of bed and shivered in the morning chill. He got some fresh clothes from his bag and crossed the hall to use the bathroom. He looked longingly at the shower but didn’t want to impose on the family too much, he wasn’t sure if this was the only bathroom or not, and didn’t want to make people wait. So he used the sink to wash his body and freshen up as much as he could, before getting dressed and heading down stairs.
His nose was drawn to the aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen and smiled as he imagined Jensen sitting at the counter nursing a cup like he did every morning.
Jared was brought up short before he entered the room by Jensen’s angry voice.
“What is your problem with him, Steve? Why are you being such an ass hole?” Jensen was obviously trying to stay fairly quiet but his emotions forced the volume to rise a little.
“I don’t have a problem with him, I think he’s an okay guy from what I can see,” came Steve’s voice, completely calm.
“You could’ve fooled me,” Jensen snapped.
“He’s just not right for you, Jen,” Steve insisted.
“Steve, you’ve said that about every guy I’ve ever been with,” Jensen argued.
“And I’ve been right, every single time,” Steve pointed out.
“Well, you’re wrong this time,” Jensen told him. “I really like him, okay. Can’t you just support me on this one, be happy for me?”
“You really like him? You barely know him!” Steve’s voice started getting louder, trying to get his point across. “I know you, Jensen, you fall fast and you fall hard, and you don’t let your brain make the decisions for you.” Jensen was silent so Steve continued. “You’ve just broken up with Tom, had your whole life up heaved, and this guy was there, he was convenient.”
“That’s not true,” Jensen said shakily, but Jared could tell Steve was getting to him.
“You’re good looking, Jen, you turn heads everywhere you go. This is no different. What happens when Jared’s settled his curiosity, realises he really is straight and leaves you hanging?” Steve said insistently.
“He wouldn’t do that,” Jensen said quietly. “He likes me, cares about me.”
“For now.”
Jensen was quiet and Jared’s heart ached. He was loosing him, he’d only just got him and he was loosing him already. Fucking Steve, butting his nose in. Ruining everything. He was just about to burst into the kitchen and demand that Steve take it all back when Jensen spoke again, his voice stronger this time.
“Listen, maybe things won’t work out. I don’t have a crystal ball. I can’t tell you it’s a match made in heaven or that we’ll be together forever like some fucking fairytale. But what I can tell you is that I like Jared, a lot, and he likes me too. Okay, so he’s a little confused about his sexuality at the moment, I’m okay with that and I’m gonna be there for him while he figures it out. If he decides he’s not gay, that he doesn’t like being with men, or being with me, then I’ll let him go. And so what if it hurts, life hurts all the time, but I’m not going to give up before I’ve even given it a chance. I can’t tell the future, but shouldn’t I at least be able to hope for it?” Jensen paused for a moment, catching his breath after his little outburst and Jared’s chest swelled with pride, push over indeed. “But you’re my best friend, Steve, my brother, and I’d really like it if you’d give him a chance too, ‘cause it’s gonna be really hard if you’re always throwing digs at him and giving him evil looks. Please, Steve, for me, please?”
Steve didn’t say anything for the longest time; Jared held his breath as he waited for his reaction. He prayed he’d be okay with them being together, Jensen needed his best friend to be there for him, especially after everything that happened with Tom, and Jensen needed to be there for Steve, now, there was no way Jared wanted to get in the way of that.
“I do like the guy, you know?” Steve said finally. “I just worry about you; that’s all.”
“I know, and I love you for it, I do, but you have to let me live my own life.”
“I’ll give him a chance,” Steve sighed. “For you. But the second he messes up I’ll be on him like a ten ton weight.”
“Thank you,” Jensen said and Jared could tell he was smiling. “Come here and give us a hug, big brother.”
“Looks like you’re in the clear,” a quiet voice said next to Jared’s ear. He jumped and spun to see Chris grinning at him. “It’s okay; I was waiting for them to hash it out, now we can have coffee.”
Chris breezed past Jared into the kitchen. “Morning people; tell me there’s coffee,” Chris announced himself loudly. “Jen, put my boy down, you’ve got your own.”
Taking that as his queue to enter Jared made his way into the kitchen. “Morning,” he said quietly, not sure what sort of a greeting he was going to get.
“Hey,” Jensen said affectionately, smiling at him and immediately going over to pull him in for a kiss. Jared went willingly and for a moment he was lost in the warmth of Jensen’s lips and the smell of coffee on his breath. When they pulled apart Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s.
“Hey,” he breathed, smiling down at Jensen, his thumb rubbing gently against his hip.
“You want some coffee?” Jensen asked, leaning up to kiss him again.
“I’d love some, thanks,” Jared pulled Jensen back when he went to move away and stole yet another kiss, smiling happily at how Jensen had greeted him good morning.
“Here you go,” Steve said as he handed Jared a steaming mug filled with the dark liquid. Jared eyed it suspiciously before shooting Jensen a questioning glance. Jensen just grinned at him.
“It hasn’t got arsenic or something in it, has it?” Jared asked, taking the mug and sniffing it cautiously.
Steve laughed and shook his head. “Just caffeine I swear,” he said holding his hands up as if to prove himself.
Jared eyed Steve and smiled a little. “Thanks,” he said, giving Steve and appreciative nod, Steve nodded back, like a silent agreement between the two men to make the effort.
“Morning boys,” a very tired looking Mrs. Carlson called as she entered the kitchen. She was immediately greeted with kisses and her own coffee. “Right, well we’ve got a big day ahead of us, I say we start it right and have pancakes.”
That suggestion was met with growling stomachs and enthusiastic nods. So Mrs. Carlson busied herself expertly in the kitchen while everyone else went to sit around the table, sipping coffees and making small talk.
When the big plate heaped, full of pancakes was carried into the room there was a small cheer and eager faces. But when their own plates were piled high and syrup had been generously poured, the only people who ended up eating greedily were Chris and Jared, everyone else picked at their food and stared as the syrup smeared around the plate.
Jared looked at his empty plate and felt guilty that he still retained an appetite. In many ways this was a brilliant morning for him, he’d gained a boyfriend, they’d sorted out where they stood with each other and Steve wasn’t giving him a hard time, but for everyone else, this was the day of reckoning and their stomachs refused to want sustenance.
Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand, causing him to look up at him. He mouthed, you okay? Jensen just nodded and smiled sadly, but he squeezed his hand back and then didn’t let go, so Jared turned his wrist so they could link fingers and gently rubbed his thumb over Jensen’s soft skin.
***
Before they knew it they were at the hospital and Jared was sitting in the waiting room again while the family went to see Mr. Carlson before his operation. He was resigned to sit there for sometime but Jensen suddenly appeared in front of him looking slightly nervous.
“What is it?” Jared was on his feet instantly.
“Um, he wants to meet you,” Jensen said sheepishly.
“What? Why?”
“To give you the once over, see if you’re good enough for me,” Jensen smiled shyly, his cheeks blushing in the most adorable way.
“Erm, okay, I guess,” Jared gulped and followed Jensen into the hospital room. The crowd of family parted to allow Jared to join them.
“Ah, this must be the Jared I’ve been hearing so much about.”
Jared looked down to meet the frail looking man in the bed. Mr. Carlson held out a shaky hand and Jared gripped it gently but firmly.
“That would be me. It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” Jared said politely.
“I hear you’re courting our Jensen here?” Mr. Carlson said, giving a sly smile.
The others in the room sniggered, probably at the word ‘courting’ just as much as Jared’s obvious discomfort.
“You heard right, Mr. Carlson,” Jared nodded and smiled over at Jensen, who stepped closer and gripped his hand, reassuringly.
“Well you listen here, that boy is like a son to me, so you treat him right, you hear?” Mr. Carlson said sternly, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes.
Jared grinned at the old man, liking him instantly. “I plan to do my very best, sir,” he said confidently, squeezing Jensen’s hand.
“Good,” Mr. Carlson said, satisfied. “But stop calling me sir, you make me sound like my father.”
Suddenly a doctor appeared in the doorway clearing his throat. “We’re ready for you Mr. Carlson,” he spoke authoritively.
“Yeah, alright doc, just let me do the rounds,” Mr. Carlson said grumpily. “Jared, good to meet you boy, and just remember what I said.”
“I will,” Jared stepped back letting Jensen through as he went and gave the man a hug.
“Jensen, my boy. That’s a good strong man you’ve got there, polite too.”
“Yeah, he is,” Jensen held the man close.
“You make sure he takes good care of you, you deserve something good in your life.”
“I have you,” Jensen half sobbed into his shoulder. Mr. Carlson patted him on the back before releasing him.
“It’s good to see you, boy.” Jensen moved away and Chris stepped up and took his turn at a hug, being told he would always be welcome in their family and that there wasn’t a better match out there for Steve than him.
Next Steve moved up and Jared discreetly exited the room, leaving the family to say what could be their goodbyes.
It only took a few minutes before the room was being emptied and orderlies were wheeling Mr. Carlson away down the hall. As soon as he was out of sight Mrs. Carlson broke down, her false facade finally shattering and her tears falling freely. Steve caught her in his arms and led her away to the waiting room, his own face steeled against the emotions he was undoubtedly feeling, but he remained strong for his mother. Jared had no doubt that Chris would be doing the same for him somewhere in the near future. Chris followed Steve, being right there as soon as he was needed, a silent pillar of strength.
Jared looked towards Jensen, who just stood there, staring down the hall where the bed had been wheeled away. Silently, Jared embraced Jensen from behind, pulling him close and kissing him on the cheek.
“I’m here, whenever you need me,” he whispered to him. Jensen simply nodded and took Jared’s hand like it was an anchor to the world. Jared allowed himself to be led towards the waiting room where the family would sit until the outcome of the operation was known to them.
***
The wait was Hell! Twice, so far, Chris had been forced to pull Steve away from the door because he wanted to burst out there and demand to know what was going on. Mrs. Carlson went from crying her heart out; to sitting in silence, to being way too chipper and fetching everyone coffee and sandwiches - which were left untouched - saying they had to eat to keep their strength up.
The hours passed slowly, everyone took their turn to pace the room, whether to release pent up emotions or to just relieve some energy.
Jensen stayed close to Jared, holding on to his hand most of the time. Jared could feel him trembling even under the skin. Eventually Jensen stood and announced he was going to get some air, and that he had his phone if they were told anything.
Jared wasn’t sure whether or not to follow him but after the looks he got from Chris and Steve he was immediately out of his seat and following him down the hall.
Jensen didn’t go outside, instead he went into one of the bathrooms and Jared found him drenching his face in water, his body trembling with emotion.
“Hey,” Jared whispered, moving to Jensen like he was a magnet, he couldn’t stay away, especially when he was in pain.
“Jared.” Jensen fell into him. “I can’t take this, I feel like I’m going to burst from my skin. It’s taking too long, why don’t we know anything yet?”
“You know they’ll tell us something as soon as there’s something for us to know,” Jared tried to reassure him.
“What if he dies, Jared? I don’t know if I could handle it if he died!” Tears fell down Jensen’s face. Jared had been waiting for this, waiting for the moment Jensen would break, when he would fall apart. But what should I do now? How can I possibly make him feel better?
Jensen broke away from Jared and paced the tiled floor; he was rambling things about how he should’ve seen him more, made more of an effort to visit him.
“They should’ve picked this up earlier, they should’ve seen the signs and known what it was, they should have caught it earlier, then he would be okay, then he might not, oomph -” Jared kissed him, stopping his pacing, halting his rambling, he kissed him and Jensen shut up.
Jared deepened the kiss, pushing Jensen backwards until his back was forcing open one of the stall doors. Jared kicked the door closed behind them and reached out one hand to lock it.
“Jay, what are you -?”
“Shut up,” Jared told him and Jensen complied, kissing Jared hungrily.
Jared pushed his body against Jensen’s, feeling the heat between them burn; and other things grow.
“Relax, Jen,” Jared whispered. “Just relax.”
Jared rubbed his body against Jensen’s, pulling moan after moan from Jensen’s mouth which he swallowed greedily. His hands moved over Jensen’s body, feeling every rivet, every dent, every muscle. He moved his mouth to devour Jensen’s throat, sucking and licking and kissing every single bit of flesh he could find like it was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. When he ran out of skin to taste he started pulling aside Jensen’s clothes, almost ripping them in his eagerness to reveal more of the man.
Jensen’s head tipped back against the tiled wall, his eyes squeezed closed and his mouth hung open in a silent moan.
Jared hands wandered down, he fingered Jensen’s belt, pulling it open and fumbling with the button on his jeans.
“Jay?” Jensen gasped worriedly.
“It’s okay, Jen. It’s okay, just relax,” Jared promised him as he pulled his zipper down and delved his hand inside his boxers.
Jared’s breath hitched at the feel of Jensen’s hard cock in his hand, skin against skin. It felt similar to his own, a little shorter and thicker but Jared’s large hand fitted around it like a glove.
“Oh God,” Jensen breathed and buried a moan in Jared’s neck. His hips bucked into Jared’s hand and Jared tightened his grip, letting Jensen fuck his fist.
“Let it go,” Jared whispered onto Jensen’s lips and kissed him again. He continued to stroke him, twisting his wrist on ever up stoke, just the way he liked it himself. Jensen’s response was encouraging and Jared didn’t feel awkward at all. Instead he revelled in the noises he caused to escape from Jensen’s mouth, the sweat he could feel on Jensen’s skin.
“Jay, oh fuck, Jay,” Jensen panted, pawing at Jared’s shoulders and back. Jared pulled harder and kissed firmer, speeding up all his movements. Suddenly Jensen cried out and warm liquid was spilling over Jared’s hand.
Jensen’s body shook and Jared pressed him firmly into the wall to hold him up when his legs gave way.
Jared listened as Jensen’s ragged breaths entered his lungs; he felt the weight of Jensen’s head on his shoulder and his hot breath panting against his neck.
His hand was sticky and he held it aside, Jensen’s come dripping onto the floor. But he didn’t care, in fact he loved the feel of Jensen’s release on his fingers, knowing that he had caused that, that he had made Jensen make those sounds and feel that way, pride built in his chest.
“Jay, you just -” Jensen gasped.
“I know,” Jared said in amazement at himself, and then suddenly he felt very self-conscious. “Was it okay?”
Jensen laughed, he fucking laughed. Then he pulled his head back so he could look into Jared’s eyes. He looked fucked out, completed sated with a lazy grin pulling on his lips.
“That was more than okay, Jay,” Jensen nuzzled into him. “Thank you.”
Jared smiled, happy that Jensen had enjoyed it, and he surprisingly couldn’t wait to do it again. After last nights fears, just knowing that Jensen was willing to wait for him, made him want it even more. It took away so much of the doubt and pressure he’d been feeling and now he just wanted to experience things. He’d get around to it all eventually, but he figured that that was a pretty good start.
“You’re welcome,” Jared murmured and kissed Jensen deeply before pulling away and reaching for the tissue to wipe them clean.
“Don’t you want me to -?” Jensen reached for Jared’s still full hard on but Jared backed away, holding Jensen’s hand at bay.
“One step at a time, Jen.” He lifted Jensen’s hand to kiss his knuckles.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jensen leaned against him and Jared wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and never wanting to let him go.
Jared sighed, “Yeah, I know,” he said cheekily and received a light punch on his arm for his troubles. “You ready to go back?” he asked Jensen gently and winced when he saw his beautiful smile drop, replaced by a thin, tight line.
Jensen nodded grimly and allowed Jared to lead him out of stall. He waited while Jared quickly washed his hands to get rid of the incriminating stink of sex and then leaned into him when Jared put his arm around his shoulders.
When they walked back into the waiting room Jensen nodded to Steve and Chris to let them know he was alright, before settling himself next to Jared and curling into his side. Jared pulled him closer and encased him in his arms. He chanced a glance over to the other two men and was pleasingly surprised to see Steve giving him an approving look. Jared simply held Jensen tighter and placed a kiss on his head.
***
Jared had lost track of the hours they’d been waiting when the doctor finally entered the room. Everyone jumped up but were respectfully silent. Jared had expected the poor doctor to be bombarded with questions and demands; instead they all just waited for him to speak. Jared could almost hear the hearts pumping double time, his own included. When the doctor smiled he swore it skipped a beat.
“It went well,” the doctor told them. “We found the tumour and managed to successfully remove it. He’s been moved to the ICU and we’ll continue to monitor him but I expect him to make a full recovery.”
The tension in the room evaporated with the collective sighs of relief and Jared felt as light as air. Now the questions did start, Jared had trouble keeping up with all the details but eventually they were told they could see him one at a time and only for a few minutes, that he was still unconscious and his face and eyes were a little swollen, but that was normal and it was nothing to worry about.
Mrs. Carlson went first and Jared hung back as he watched Jensen and Steve exchange hugs, they hung on to each other for a while but Jared just smiled at them, feeling no resentment or threatened in anyway.
When Mrs. Carlson came back it was Steve’s turn and eventually Jensen’s. As soon as Jensen left the room Steve was in front of Jared, his expression serious.
Here we go, Jared thought. This was the part where he gets threatened and he gets to see Steve’s true colours.
“Thank you,” was what he got instead and Jared had to blink to be sure it was Steve talking to him.
“For what?” Jared asked, confused.
“For taking care of Jen,” Steve explained, a smile playing on his lips. “I know Jen, better than he knows himself. I knew he was going to break and I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did, but I think that’s thanks to you too. I don’t know what you said or did when Jen left this room but I honestly wasn’t expecting you to bring him back. I was totally ready to go after you guys but Chris said to give you some time and you surprised me.”
“I think Jensen’s stronger than you give him credit for,” Jared said bravely and Steve smiled.
“Jensen takes his strength from the people around him, always has, but I’ve never seen him like he is with you, the way he looks at you, defends you even. Jensen has never defended any of his boyfriends to me before, not even Tom, so that’s saying something.”
Jared couldn’t help but grin at that, standing up a little straighter.
“But you know that if you ever hurt him I’ll beat you so bad you won’t recognise yourself?” Steve smirked.
“Goes without saying,” Jared nodded but smiled at Steve.
“But has to be said anyway,” Steve smiled back.
“Oh, and just so you know,” Chris chimed in. “That goes double for me.” He slapped Jared on the back just as Jensen walked back in.
“Is it safe?” Jensen asked cautiously.
“Absolutely,” Jared told him taking him in his arms. “The inquisitions over.”
“And you survived? I’m impressed,” Jensen pulled Jared down for a kiss.
“I do my best,” Jared murmured against his lips, memories of the bathroom coming back to him, making him feel uncomfortably tight in his skin. Jensen hummed happily and kissed him again.
“Okay, now that’s just sickeningly sweet,” Steve said.
“Put him down, Big Jay,” Chris called. “Anyone would’ve thought you hadn’t eaten all day.”
At that Jared’s stomach growled and he and Jensen broke apart to laugh. Jensen put a hand to his own stomach.
“Food sounds like a great idea,” he said.
“You boys go get something to eat, I’m going to wait here for your father to wake up,” Mrs. Carlson said, reminding Jared of her presence and he blushed, embarrassed to have been kissing like that in front of her.
“Yes Ma’am,” Jensen said hungrily and started pulling Jared out the door, Jared went with a laugh and a wave. Yeah, things were looking good.
Chapter Seven