2:31a.m.

Apr 29, 2008 02:58


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migraine, kahlo, softies, batts

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luxefibre April 30 2008, 03:11:33 UTC
aw, you are sweet. it is hard to know that i could be bringing in a lot more money and helping out around the house (like cleaning, for example) but i don't.

speaking of trouble, how is your lil pirate doing? i hope he hasn't given your girls any booze or stolen any hoop earrings from you.

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luxefibre May 1 2008, 22:59:34 UTC
oh goodness. i hope he doesn't talk down to you. he doesn't have a good attitude towards woman. he loves rum and he will steal all of your change in order to buy it. he might steal one of your bicycles and go to the liquor store, or break into the neighbor's house to get it. i am frankly a bit embarrassed to be associated with him. although, reg, the balding lion, who lives in england now, also tends to have poor behavior. he gets drunk and just sits around in his underwear all day. for shame. where did i go wrong?

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meggyanne April 29 2008, 16:52:42 UTC
im sorry to read that you arent feeling well : ( you look GORGEOUS though! and so does kitty! i know how you feel about the commitment thing. when i panicked all the time and had no xanax to calm down, i would stay up all night fretting and then i would have to cancel things the next day because i was so exhausted. i always felt scared to tell people i would babysit because i would usually panic and be to dead the next day it would be a terrible experience.
i feel for you, but one thing ive realized recently is that people are much more sympathetic than you or i would ever imagine, especially when it comes to health. humans get sick! I bet if you explained your situation before hand and gave them the heads up that you may only last a few hours and have to rest, they would be happy to have you just for those few hours <3

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luxefibre April 30 2008, 02:59:40 UTC
aw thanks, sweetie. i try not to feel guilty, but sometimes i am not sure if i really feel bad enough not to go, or if i am making myself feel worse. often enough, i end up sick by the evening. it sucks.

i think because my family and my ex were not terribly nice to me, or would call me a crybaby or a liar, i get funny about saying anything. and then on the flipside i hate being out of control or seeming pathetic. i take antidepressents and that really helps with me getting freaked out all the time. i am sure you know the drill with all of this stuff.

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meggyanne April 30 2008, 14:37:24 UTC
thats funny cause thats exactly how i am. i had one experience as a kid where my family didnt care for me when i was sick with food poisoning and ever since then ive been so terrible when i get sick. i panic and get so worried. i worry so much about being a burden that i make myself sick most of the time and then i become a baby and become such a burden! paradox? hah. ok, well i know how you feel and i just hope you start feeling better!

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luxefibre May 1 2008, 22:55:27 UTC
i feel like i am bitching, my family weren't evil, they just tended to blow it off, or downplay things until they were super bad. i once had a kidney infection, i think i was about 15, and we were supposed to go to a family picnic, i told me mom that i felt like i had a fever and thought i had a uti or something and she told me that if i thought i was going to get out of the picnic, i was wrong. i ended up collapsing and had to be rushed in to the doctor, but she didn't apologize or anything, although that is just how she is. i am not sure if it is their way of coping to blow things off (even now when i visit they push me to do things even if i feel sick) or what. i am sure no parents set out to be shitty parents, ya know? i just know how i am when my loved ones are sick, i take it seriously.

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maystone April 30 2008, 02:09:40 UTC
Sorry that you've been so sick this week, and I hope it turns around for you soon.

I do get you when you talk about being afraid to commit because our illness is so unpredictable. It sucks, eh. I like what one of your friends here said about just being upfront about it and asking if you can volunteer without having to commit to a set time. We have a big alpaca shearing day coming up in a few weeks; last year I spent the whole day (almost 12 hours) working, this year I'll be lucky if I last for 2. I'm still going to show up, though - more for me than anyone else :)

I love your dyed fiber!

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luxefibre April 30 2008, 03:09:35 UTC
thanks sweets. i totally hear ya. i guess it has a lot to do with understanding where i end and my health issues begin. do you sell the alpaca?

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