(no subject)
Title; NO
Author; jennieffaddict
Pairing; Luke/Reid
Summary; How will Luke feel in the final moments?
Warnings; based on spoilers, sad,
Disclaimer; I do not own ATWT or its characters
NO
Their wrong, they have to be, he's not, he can't be
NO
Your sitting by his bedside, clutching his hand in yours stroking your thumb absent-mindedly over his knuckles, hoping, praying, wishing that they are wrong, that you could help, that you could do something, anything, that he can pull through. He will he has to they have to be wrong
NO
You dont feel the tears streaming down your face or the way your body is shaking
NO
You pick his hand up and place it against the side of your face, the way he did. You hold it there and close your eyes. His hand is warm and you trick yourself into believing it's him touching you, it's him and you feel all that he made you feel, loved, worthy, like an equal. Like you belonged
NO
They try to move you but you refuse to leave him, you cant leave him alone you dont care what they say, you just concentrate on the feel of his hand in yours
NO
You keep it there long after its grown cold. You cling to it, if you move it, if you open your eyes then he's gone, he's really left and you just can't just
NO
So you sit there, tears silently streaming, eye's feeling heavy, throat scratched up and hurting, heart feeling both heavy and empty. Your exhausted, weary, your saturated with grief, your whole body mind and soul just aches with it.
NO
Still you don't let go, you can't you just can't
HOURS
You don't know how long you sit there. Your tired, so bone deep exhausted but you just can't let go
HAPPY
You were finally happy. Didn't you deserve to be? Hadn't you gone through enough? Hadn't you earnt it? He loved you, all of you, unconditionally, and you loved him, all of him. It was new so new
I LOVE YOU
I love you, the last words he said to you, the last you said to him. You meant it you both meant it
WHY
Why did it have to be him? You just didn't, couldn't understand why
DAD
You don't realise he's there until you feel his hand on your shoulder and the first thing you notice is how warm his hand is and that's when it hits you, it truly hits you just how cold Reid's is and then you begin sobbing because you have to accept it now, you can't pretend anymore
DAD
"Come on son, time to go" If anyone else had said it, had been the one to try and move you then you couldn't but it's dad and that means safe, protected. You need that.
You try to let go, to move. You open your eyes and they focus on just how still Reid is how wrong this is and you can't let go
DAD
He gently pries Reids hand out of yours. He take's your hand in his and slowly pulls you up and holds you, holds you close and strokes your hair and doesn't say a word
GRATEFUL
Your so grateful that he doesn't say what everyone else will, that he knows, that he understands, that it will get better, that it'll be o.k and all the other bullshit platitudes people trot out
BECAUSE
because it can't, it wont, how can it be?
Your so grief stricken that you can't see how your world can ever be o.k again