Fic: The Taco Did It!
Title: The Taco Did It!
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: AU, Humor, Crack!fic
Warnings: Character Death, Crack!fic
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: If you know that Chris is sick, then no.
Characters: Luke/Reid, Katie/Chris
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: Chris dies.
Author's Notes: Oh, you guys. yay_for_gays and I were venting about Chris and how he's a douche, and how he should just drop dead...and this fic was born. It's utter crack, and everyone is OOC. K? Enjoy!
Please try and keep the comments spoiler free. I am spoiler free, as are many others and I don't want them to be spoiled on accident! Thanks! :)
It’s ironic, because Chris is the one who insisted on tacos for dinner. Reid had wanted sandwiches (of course), Katie suggested pizza, and Luke had offered to take them all out. Chris wins because he’s sick and Reid and Luke don’t have the heart to fight with him about it.
The four of them, Reid, Luke, Katie and Chris are trying their hand a good old-fashioned double-date. Reid, badgered by Katie until he gave in, is glaring at Chris from across the table. Luke wears a worried expression, uncomfortable with the tension at the table. Katie tries to keep it civil, her bubbly personality out in full force. Reid takes a bite of his taco, somehow still managing to glare at Chris with his mouth full of food.
Chris is doing that thing, where his breathing is heavy and slightly labored, and his hand is shaking as he picks up his taco from his plate.
Reid and Luke share a concerned glance, but Katie is happily munching on her taco salad, and doesn’t notice.
“This has gone on long enough, Chris.” Reid says, putting his food down. Chris’ expression changes rapid from shock to anger to denial.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He glances at Katie, who’s looking between him and Reid with exasperation, clearly tired of them going at each other.
“Yes, you do.” Reid insists. “Just tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Katie asks.
“Nothing.” Chris mumbles, taking a large bite of his taco.
“Something is going on between you two, and it’s more than just the chief of staff job, isn’t it?” Katie presses. Reid nods, and Chris makes a gurgling sound. Katie turns her gaze to him, and he coughs.
“Chris?” She asks, as he puts his hand on his chest and coughs again.
“Tell her.” Reid is angry now, but Chris just coughs a third time, his hand clutching at his throat.
“Reid, I…” Luke starts to say, but he’s interrupted by Katie.
“Oh, my God, he’s choking.” Chris nods emphatically, grasping his neck in both hands, and Reid scoffs.
“I really doubt that, Katie.” He says. “Some people will do anything to get out of telling the truth.”
“Do something!” Katie exclaims, as Chris suddenly jerks and slumps to the floor. He hits the ground with a loud thud. Reid calmly takes a bite of his taco, chewing thoughtfully. Katie’s out of her chair, on the floor, checking on Chris. Luke is concerned, unsure if he should trust Reid’s laid back approach or freak out like Katie.
“Oh, my God!" She exclaims again.
“What?” Reid sounds tired.
“He’s dead!”
“What!?” Reid gets up and goes around the table, kneeling on the floor next to Chris so he could check his pulse. “Huh.”
“Is he dead?” Luke asks, moving so he’s standing over them.
“Yeah.” Reid confirms. “Here I thought it would be the heart condition that did him in.”
“Heart condition?” Katie sniffles, and Reid puts a comforting hand on her arm.
“Yeah, poor bastard was dying and didn’t want to tell you.” Her face changes from sadness to shock to outrage.
“I know how you are when you lose a patient, Reid.” Luke tells him quietly. “Does food still turn you on?”
“Of course.” Reid rolls his eyes, and gets up, walking back to his plate, and grabbing his taco. He nearly takes a bite, considers it, glances at Chris on the floor and puts it down with a sigh. “I can’t eat this.”
Luke walks over and puts his arm around him..
“It’s okay to be upset.” He comforts. Reid rolls his eyes again.
“I need a sandwich, stat.” Reid says, pulling away from Luke.
“I can make it.” Katie volunteers, getting up from the floor herself, and wiping her eyes. “For all you did for him.”
“What about Chris?” Luke asks, gesturing to his lifeless body.
“I’ll call the hospital and have them send someone to retrieve the body.” Reid answers as Katie presents him with large salami and cheese sandwich. He half smiles. “Guess this means I’m going to be chief of staff now.”
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: AU, Humor, Crack!fic
Warnings: Character Death, Crack!fic
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: If you know that Chris is sick, then no.
Characters: Luke/Reid, Katie/Chris
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: Chris dies.
Author's Notes: Oh, you guys. yay_for_gays and I were venting about Chris and how he's a douche, and how he should just drop dead...and this fic was born. It's utter crack, and everyone is OOC. K? Enjoy!
Please try and keep the comments spoiler free. I am spoiler free, as are many others and I don't want them to be spoiled on accident! Thanks! :)
It’s ironic, because Chris is the one who insisted on tacos for dinner. Reid had wanted sandwiches (of course), Katie suggested pizza, and Luke had offered to take them all out. Chris wins because he’s sick and Reid and Luke don’t have the heart to fight with him about it.
The four of them, Reid, Luke, Katie and Chris are trying their hand a good old-fashioned double-date. Reid, badgered by Katie until he gave in, is glaring at Chris from across the table. Luke wears a worried expression, uncomfortable with the tension at the table. Katie tries to keep it civil, her bubbly personality out in full force. Reid takes a bite of his taco, somehow still managing to glare at Chris with his mouth full of food.
Chris is doing that thing, where his breathing is heavy and slightly labored, and his hand is shaking as he picks up his taco from his plate.
Reid and Luke share a concerned glance, but Katie is happily munching on her taco salad, and doesn’t notice.
“This has gone on long enough, Chris.” Reid says, putting his food down. Chris’ expression changes rapid from shock to anger to denial.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He glances at Katie, who’s looking between him and Reid with exasperation, clearly tired of them going at each other.
“Yes, you do.” Reid insists. “Just tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Katie asks.
“Nothing.” Chris mumbles, taking a large bite of his taco.
“Something is going on between you two, and it’s more than just the chief of staff job, isn’t it?” Katie presses. Reid nods, and Chris makes a gurgling sound. Katie turns her gaze to him, and he coughs.
“Chris?” She asks, as he puts his hand on his chest and coughs again.
“Tell her.” Reid is angry now, but Chris just coughs a third time, his hand clutching at his throat.
“Reid, I…” Luke starts to say, but he’s interrupted by Katie.
“Oh, my God, he’s choking.” Chris nods emphatically, grasping his neck in both hands, and Reid scoffs.
“I really doubt that, Katie.” He says. “Some people will do anything to get out of telling the truth.”
“Do something!” Katie exclaims, as Chris suddenly jerks and slumps to the floor. He hits the ground with a loud thud. Reid calmly takes a bite of his taco, chewing thoughtfully. Katie’s out of her chair, on the floor, checking on Chris. Luke is concerned, unsure if he should trust Reid’s laid back approach or freak out like Katie.
“Oh, my God!" She exclaims again.
“What?” Reid sounds tired.
“He’s dead!”
“What!?” Reid gets up and goes around the table, kneeling on the floor next to Chris so he could check his pulse. “Huh.”
“Is he dead?” Luke asks, moving so he’s standing over them.
“Yeah.” Reid confirms. “Here I thought it would be the heart condition that did him in.”
“Heart condition?” Katie sniffles, and Reid puts a comforting hand on her arm.
“Yeah, poor bastard was dying and didn’t want to tell you.” Her face changes from sadness to shock to outrage.
“I know how you are when you lose a patient, Reid.” Luke tells him quietly. “Does food still turn you on?”
“Of course.” Reid rolls his eyes, and gets up, walking back to his plate, and grabbing his taco. He nearly takes a bite, considers it, glances at Chris on the floor and puts it down with a sigh. “I can’t eat this.”
Luke walks over and puts his arm around him..
“It’s okay to be upset.” He comforts. Reid rolls his eyes again.
“I need a sandwich, stat.” Reid says, pulling away from Luke.
“I can make it.” Katie volunteers, getting up from the floor herself, and wiping her eyes. “For all you did for him.”
“What about Chris?” Luke asks, gesturing to his lifeless body.
“I’ll call the hospital and have them send someone to retrieve the body.” Reid answers as Katie presents him with large salami and cheese sandwich. He half smiles. “Guess this means I’m going to be chief of staff now.”