FIC: Lonely
Title: Lonely
Chapter: 1/1
Author: spiceinator
Pairing/Characters: Luke/Reid
Rating: R
Word Count: ~2,200
Warnings: Language
Summary: Reid misses Luke. He's not happy about it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: It suddenly hit me that we have less than two months of show left (and a LOT less time of LuRe, if the current rate of airtime is to be believed) so I needed some schmoopiness.
There was a difference between waking up alone and waking up alone. Since the official start of their relationship (or at least since they started sleeping together), Reid had wakened up alone almost every day. Only once had Luke still been in his arms when his eyes opened. The other times Luke had been in the shower or making breakfast. Reid wasn't fully alone then, because Luke was within easy reach, and Reid could talk to him, kiss him, look at him, or at least hear him splashing in the bathroom. Reid wasn't alone because he knew that Luke was nearby.
Right now, Reid was alone. He woke alone. He slept alone. He felt alone. With Katie and Jacob off with Margo visiting their sister, Cricket, he was the only one in the apartment. There was no one to sleep with, eat with, watch TV with, talk with, laugh with...
He missed Luke, his friend. He missed Luke, his lover. God, he missed his lover. It would have been a whole lot more bearable if Luke was gone and he could still get laid.
But that wasn’t the case. Luke was gone, and had taken all of Reid’s favorite body parts. Reid couldn't enjoy the wonder that was Luke’s mouth, couldn't caress Luke’s thighs, couldn't squeeze Luke’s ass, couldn't kiss Luke’s shoulders, couldn't fondle in between his legs.
It amazed him how comfortable the thought of having Luke there all the time was to him. It had taken Reid years to even approach the notion of moving in with his ex-boyfriend from medical school (not that had worked out particularly well). Now all that would make him happy was Luke sitting on his lap, 24-7.
He missed Luke, yeah, but he knew that Luke was coming back, so he was okay.
Before she left two days before, Katie seemed to have dropped all Doogie Hughes-related activities and wanted to solely hang out with Reid. Reid was resentful at first. He liked Katie, but not when she was constantly invading his space. He had a feeling Luke put her up to it. That he wanted people there so he wouldn’t be lonely in his absence. Such a sweetie. God, he adored that man.
Reid really tried not to vomit at that last thought.
Katie would be coming home later that night and she said that the two of them, along with Doogie, would be going clubbing the next night.
At least he’d get out of the house.
The day was looking to get better. It was the waking up earlier that sucked.
Reid had known for a while that Luke would be leaving for four weeks. No big deal. He was somehow confident that he’d be there with open arms waiting for him in a month’s time. He'd hang out, he’d work, he’d save lives. It was only a month, no big deal. No deal whatsoever. He'd kissed Luke good-bye, blithely went about his day, tra la la la la, and then...
...then he'd looked up and realized that he'd been sitting there flipping channels for way too long. Because something was wrong. He felt dissatisfied. Nothing suited him. He didn't want to do anything, but doing nothing was driving him nuts.
Which was when he realized that he was missing Luke.
Reid had slept alone before. Hell, before Luke had come along he hadn’t slept with one person two nights in a row for years. And those he did sleep with occurred few and far between. He’d only been sleeping with Luke for six months when he left. He knew that it would feel bad. That yeah, it wouldn't be the same sleeping alone, that he'd have the apartment to himself, that sort of thing. But he was an adult, he was a grown man, a month was nothing. He hadn't expected to miss Luke until the third week, really.
He was full of crap.
He wanted to go back and kiss Luke good-bye one more time. Do it again. Linger this time.
Luke was gone and the bed sucked and sleeping alone sucked and eating alone sucked and always being alone sucked and trying to pretend that he didn't miss Luke sucked and knowing that Katie knew he missed Luke anyway despite the pretending sucked and the apartment sucked and Reid had a bad case of cabin fever but didn't have anywhere else to go. And now...
"Shit!" Beer poured across the coffee table and onto the floor. He had nothing on hand to stem the flow. There wasn't, but, damn it, damn it! Reid whipped his shirt off over his head and tried to stop the waterfall.
He was there, half-dressed, on his knees in a puddle of beer on the carpet, when the cell phone rang. He snapped a bit when he answered. "Hello."
"Hey. What's wrong?"
Reid stopped breathing for the space of a second. When he spoke again, his voice was thick. "Nothing. Spilled my beer." He cleared his throat. That voice. He’d been aching to hear it. "How are you doing?"
"Pretty good. We’re in Paris now. How's it going?" Luke asked.
"Slow around here. Katie’s coming home tonight." Reid said.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Reid tried not to smirk. “She wants to take me out to a club.”
“To do, what? Hook up with random guys?”
“Probably.”
Silence from Luke’s end.
Smirk on Reid’s end.
"You know I trust you," Luke said.
"I know." Reid smiled. It was true. "It’s all Katie’s idea. Says I need to get out of the house." It was true, he did.
"Well, that’s good. Hope you have fun.” He felt the need to emphasize his earlier statement. “I trust you no matter what."
“Yeah, because you should."
"I don't trust Katie."
"Yes, you do."
“No, I don't. Tell her you’re going out for fun and socialization tonight. Not to hook up with skanks."
Skanks? "You're funny when you’re jealous."
"Katie’s too meddlesome for her own good. What if she gets back on that matchmaking kick?" Reid ignored the obvious way Luke was trying to distract Reid by steering the conversation off course. It wasn’t working. Reid knew that tone of voice Luke was using.
"You're horny."
A Luke giggle. Nice. "Not all of the time."
"How about right now? Are you horny right now?"
"Yeah."
Reid laughed. "What's wrong? The Luke I know would not admit to that. Especially not over the phone."
"It's good to hear from you." Translation: I miss you.
"Yeah." Translation: I miss you, too. Reid coughed. He tried to remember what he and Luke normally talked about. Why did these awkward moments keep popping up? It’s not like they had to act cool around each other.
"Damn. I have to go. Mom and Dad want a couple more hours of family time before they go off on their romantic rendezvous tonight." Luke said. "I'll call later this week."
"Sure."
"Okay."
"Bye," Reid said. Shit. "Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Luke was blushing. Reid could hear it. "I love you." Luke said.
"Bye."
"Bye."
Reid hung up the phone. Oh, shit. The carpet!
*******************************************************************
He went clubbing with Katie the next night. He felt it was like revisiting his single days. He hadn't been single in a while. He remembered how it went, though. It was a lot of fun, not knowing, not being sure. Trying to pick guys up, being picked up. Trying to connect with a specific person, trying to look interested and available to that person while avoiding looking interested and available to everyone else. He'd been pretty good at it. He'd been pretty damned good at it when he was only Reid Oliver, the renowned gay neurosurgeon, before he was named head of the country’s foremost neurology wing at Oakdale Memorial. Being so well known in a small town had let him go soft, he didn't have to do very much work to pick up guys. They all wanted a piece of him.
Of course, he'd never really... he'd liked the men, because he liked it in general when people fell at his feet. But he was taken.
He was done being miserable. Katie and Chris were bound and determined to have fun and so was he. Reid started off by having a few drinks and flirting with a few women. It was easy, and it was familiar, and there was no chance it was going anywhere.
Reid didn’t make it a habit of drinking. He didn’t feel right doing it around Luke. Tonight, he seemed to be throwing caution to the wind. Good times.
Reid was flirting, dancing, having a grand old time. When Chris bought the table (which included Reid, Katie and a couple of random people that he didn’t know) a round, he knocked back his. Katie and Chris wanted to take a few of their new friends with them to a different club. At that club, they made even more friends. And had a few more drinks. Reid figured he'd get buzzed just enough to make sure he had fun, just enough so that he could go home and fall asleep without missing Luke.
It wasn't that he was so forlorn and depressed and lonely he had to get drunk over Luke. It was just that he was sick of getting in bed and spending a few seconds cold and alone, realizing that Luke wouldn't be joining him.
Reid was strong. Strong in body, strong in himself. What he and Luke shared was even stronger, because it came from a whole new strength born of their combined love. Was he this cheesy before Luke? That would be a “no”. He would never repeat words like that out loud. He still loved it that Luke made him feel that way.
Somewhere between the third club and the fifth drink, Reid figured out all of the above. And suddenly, he felt much better about Luke’s absence. Not that he was happy that Luke was gone. Just...he was okay with Luke not being there. He was going to be okay sleeping alone that night.
Which was when some guy tried to pick him up. Reid wasn't interested in going home with the guy, but Reid was a social person (well, after drinking he was at least more social than normal). They had a few drinks together. When the younger man asked him to dance, he declined. Then the guy asked Reid to go home with him.
Reid said, no, that was okay, he was there with some friends. The guy giggled and pointed to Katie and Chris making out in the corner booth. He said if those were his friends, they probably weren’t depending too much on his company for their enjoyment.
Then the man tried to touch Reid. Tried to grab his ass. What the hell?
Now, Reid was used to people coming on to him. Had been ever since high school. Either guys wanting to fuck him or girls wanting to be the one to “change” him. And he didn't mind flirting. But there was innocuous social flirting where everyone involved knew it wouldn't go anywhere. But this guy, he wasn't taking no for an answer. And Reid had no intention of saying yes. No matter what.
Reid could handle himself. It wasn't like he was going to cause a public scene, and it definitely wasn't like he was going to start throwing punches, because he didn't want to end up in the pages of The Inquisitor. But his confidence, not to mention his attitude, usually spoke for themselves. Except that this man was getting to be a real pain.
Reid walked away. He wasn't going to waste his time. The guy grabbed his arm. Reid jerked free, giving the man a look. He wasn’t getting the message. It was time to let him know how serious he was.
“Can I see your driver’s license?” Reid asked. The man didn’t seem to be listening, so he asked again.
Out of the corner of his eye, Reid could see Doogie and Katie watching.
"Let me see your ID," Reid said.
The guy dug out his wallet and handed it over to Reid, looking confused but too drunk to argue. Reid flipped through it. "Driver's license, VISA, ATM card, Discover, library card... Okay." He handed the wallet back to him. "Not one thing in here says that your name is Luke Snyder.” The man’s hand came up to the wallet and Reid’s hand; Reid pulled back before the guy could make contact, and the wallet hit the floor. "We can talk, we can be civil to each other, even though that’s a chore for me on a good day, but only one man has the privilege of going home with me. And he isn't you."
"Privilege?" the man snorted. He was pissed off now, mostly because they were drawing an audience of his fellow gay club hoppers, which Reid took to be the man’s friends.
"Privilege," Reid said. It was his privilege to be Luke’s lover, as well, even more so, but he wasn't going to share that information with this jerk.
Reid left the club, then, with Katie and Chris in tow. The three of them went back to Reid and Katie’s apartment. And, while Chris and Katie paid the babysitter, Reid showered off sweat and the smell of the club, brushed his teeth, drank some water, and went to bed. He'd better not tell Luke about the skank in the club. He wondered if guys were trying to pick up Luke in Paris. He wondered why he was wondering. Of course guys were trying to pick up Luke. Luke was really fuckable. Reid grinned. He was a very lucky man.
He wanted to kiss Luke. He really, really wanted to kiss Luke. Reid sighed and rolled over. At least the carpet was clean.
This was boring. Maybe he'd see what was on TV.
He glanced at his cell phone and noticed he’d missed a call this afternoon. Luke had called again. Luke had sent him a text message. He smiled at it. Luke trying to be dirty but only managing a small amount of dirtiness in print.
Luke had tried to contact him. Luke wanted to talk to him again. Sure it was a cell phone text message, but it was still written evidence.
He would call Luke tomorrow. It was late (or early morning?) in Europe and he wanted his guy to sleep. And now, he felt like he could, too.