fic: heartless
title: heartless
author: inflowers
summary: Even though you destroyed him.
authors note: i've been wanting to write something like this for a little while, i guess i kind of poured my own feelings into it. but it was cathartic, at least! (inspired by the fanvid with the song heartless.)
He's in backrooms and bath houses of nameless cities with nameless faces, and he's fucking and sucking and coming and forgetting you, over and over.
He's not admitting it, but he misses you.
Because you're heartless and you left him, and it's all your fault.
It's your fault he's like this, so jaded and so removed. So withdrawn and so affected.
It's your fault, it's you. It's always been you, and how could you not know it?
How could you walk away, and leave him so broken and bruised. How could you leave him so common?
He's not common, and you should know that. He's special, and dedicated, and hard working and he's so fucking miserable because you left him. He loved you, and you left.
So he's fucking the pain away, the image of your back turning away from him. Your last words as they run through his head, he's thrusting them out of his mind. And he's hoping that if he gets hard enough, if he comes hard enough, you'll leave his body too.
And he'll finally be free.
He's been like this for so long, so many years and so many tricks. They're all nothing, they're all he's got. But they're nothing, and you were everything. You are everything.
He's been fucking and sucking and throwing things for years. He's ripping up your photos, straight through your smiles and your happily ever afters. And he's shredding your love letters and your bank statements because they all tell the same story of deception.
He's not accepting new patients, because he's terrified that all he's been thinking of - how he wishes you'd get hit by a bus, will come true. And he'll have to save your life, even though you destroyed his.
Even though you destroyed him.
And then the phone rings, and theres blackmail and sarcasm and a voice that finally wakes something up inside of him.
So he finds his suitcase buried in the back of his closet, next to the one shirt of yours he can't bring himself to throw out - and he leaves.
Leaves Dallas, leaves his job, his home, his excuse for friends. And he leaves you, for a two bit town in the middle of nowhere with no one who knows how once upon a time, he was whole and happy.
They don't need to know, they can't know - how you curled up underneath his arm late at night and murmered confessions of love and home. They don't need to know how once upon a time, his sarcasm was good natured and friendly - nothing like the biting and cruel way it is now.
It's just better that they don't know, that they think he's always been so hard lined and professional, almost to a fault.
And then he meets him. Irritating, infuriating, indescribable. He shakes his hand, and the second their skin touches, he feels the pulse rush through his body and settle at the tip of his spine.
It's electric, it's different, it's new.
Suddenly, you're nothing - and Luke is everything.
author: inflowers
summary: Even though you destroyed him.
authors note: i've been wanting to write something like this for a little while, i guess i kind of poured my own feelings into it. but it was cathartic, at least! (inspired by the fanvid with the song heartless.)
He's in backrooms and bath houses of nameless cities with nameless faces, and he's fucking and sucking and coming and forgetting you, over and over.
He's not admitting it, but he misses you.
Because you're heartless and you left him, and it's all your fault.
It's your fault he's like this, so jaded and so removed. So withdrawn and so affected.
It's your fault, it's you. It's always been you, and how could you not know it?
How could you walk away, and leave him so broken and bruised. How could you leave him so common?
He's not common, and you should know that. He's special, and dedicated, and hard working and he's so fucking miserable because you left him. He loved you, and you left.
So he's fucking the pain away, the image of your back turning away from him. Your last words as they run through his head, he's thrusting them out of his mind. And he's hoping that if he gets hard enough, if he comes hard enough, you'll leave his body too.
And he'll finally be free.
He's been like this for so long, so many years and so many tricks. They're all nothing, they're all he's got. But they're nothing, and you were everything. You are everything.
He's been fucking and sucking and throwing things for years. He's ripping up your photos, straight through your smiles and your happily ever afters. And he's shredding your love letters and your bank statements because they all tell the same story of deception.
He's not accepting new patients, because he's terrified that all he's been thinking of - how he wishes you'd get hit by a bus, will come true. And he'll have to save your life, even though you destroyed his.
Even though you destroyed him.
And then the phone rings, and theres blackmail and sarcasm and a voice that finally wakes something up inside of him.
So he finds his suitcase buried in the back of his closet, next to the one shirt of yours he can't bring himself to throw out - and he leaves.
Leaves Dallas, leaves his job, his home, his excuse for friends. And he leaves you, for a two bit town in the middle of nowhere with no one who knows how once upon a time, he was whole and happy.
They don't need to know, they can't know - how you curled up underneath his arm late at night and murmered confessions of love and home. They don't need to know how once upon a time, his sarcasm was good natured and friendly - nothing like the biting and cruel way it is now.
It's just better that they don't know, that they think he's always been so hard lined and professional, almost to a fault.
And then he meets him. Irritating, infuriating, indescribable. He shakes his hand, and the second their skin touches, he feels the pulse rush through his body and settle at the tip of his spine.
It's electric, it's different, it's new.
Suddenly, you're nothing - and Luke is everything.