Stay - Chapter seven
Title: Stay
Author: Happyinchintz72
Rating: PG-13... see where it goes!
Summary Overall: Luke needs a doctor, the only one he wants, he hasn't seen in over a month (lots of Protective Reid, plenty of fluff and a good dose of angst!)
Summary- Chapter Six: Reid gets home and opens up a bit. Luke has a visit in hospital. Reid returns to work....
Author notes: I know I'm keeping you hanging for more Luke and Reid interaction but I wanted some growth there and some development before I put them together and the next chapter is entirely Luke and Reid and a little cameo from another character :)
I adore Holden so much so I really hope I wrote him ok! There's yet more Katie and Reid, because I can hardly resist!
It's a LOT longer and the next chapter is much the same so I really really hope you enjoy!!
[This is not beta-d so all mistakes are mine!] <3
Reid threw his jacket on the sofa and then threw himself down too. How could Bob see right through him? His entire life was spent perfecting the mask he showed to the world and underneath his true feelings stayed hidden and secret. If nothing penetrated this mask, nothing hurt or nothing became messy and complicated. He couldn’t deal with that. The very thought of a tangled mess of emotions, feelings and “heart to hearts” made his head reel and his skin itch. He wanted blunt honesty and clear lines but not everyone shared this wish. Most other people either relished in their own untidy lives and enjoyed the chaos or didn’t know any better. Being in Oakhell for as long as he had only made him sure this town was rife with shambolic set ups and families in utter disfunction, plus everyone spoke their hearts and minds- those that didn’t were outed eventually. Reid clawed at his hair and threw his head back on the couch.
Luke was an exception to this general rule in some ways. His heart was on his sleeve, his grin spoke a thousands words and he openly shared himself with people- sickeningly so. The Snyders were schmaltzy at the best of times, and Reid was beginning to learn this, but beneath their cuddly and cookie-cutter exterior was buried a world of pain, confusion and a past, Reid expected, they’d all like to forget. Reid was sure that Luke had experienced his fair share of drama but he had never been privy to the details, therefore, Reid could see Luke for his true self, minus the baggage. Luke was innocent, a fact Reid could never stop reminding himself; Luke was young, something Reid, although he’d never tell anyone, secretly found insanely sexy; Luke was spirited, Reid knew this more than most- this was the reason he was in this damned predicament. Above all, Luke was infuriating. He had a way of drawing you in, making you smile, giving as good as he got and generally being completely fucking charming and cute. Reid had been with guys and liked a couple enough to want them to stick around a while longer but none, none, had gotten so under his skin as Luke Snyder. Reid felt like punching the sofa. He couldn’t stand the way the kid made him feel. As if Reid Oliver, Doctor Reid Oliver, was becoming unhinged.
The month spent in Chicago was a blessing. Yea, that’s what he told himself. Reid knew it was for the best. Some head space outside of the suffocation of Oakhell- exactly what he needed. After the Luke and Noah saga continued and Reid felt himself losing IQ points, dignity and even a smidgen of resolve, he needed out. Noah was a sweet guy, he’d admit it, but Reid didn’t buy into drama and was certainly not going to play the bad guy or take the role of the home wrecker. Noah was cherished, adored and god damned worshipped by the Snyder clan, screw even attempting to nuzzle in on that. The thought of the wrath of Lily was enough to make Reid tired and irritated.
He just couldn’t stay away though. Luke. He was in his brain, in his thoughts, in his mind, in his memories and if the past week had hammered anything into his skull, Luke Snyder was in his damn heart and there was nothing, not even a world renowned neurosurgeon, could do to change that.
“Reid! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
Katie appeared, looking slightly panic stricken, in the lamp lit door way clutching a blanket and a small pair of booties. Her hair was scrunched messily. She looked adorable. Katie had a place in his heart, this he could admit.... even happily some days.
“Oh right, sorry.”
“Reid you’re lying on the sofa with the lights off. Stop being creepy,” she complained with an amused shake of the head.
Reid watched as she headed to the kitchen and began preparing drinks as if it was a knee-jerk reaction. People in this town had something major for stuff like this. Not opposed to Katie’s cosiness at this very moment in time, Reid wasn’t going to squirm and disappear into his room. If he was honest, he wanted some human contact- other than patients and the other half assed doctors that roamed Memorial’s corridors.
“Sorry. It’s been a long day,” Reid explained, stretching out further on the couch.
“A bad day or just a long day?” Katie asked with a glance over her shoulder as she stirred the steaming cups.
“A bit of both.”
“Is that all I’m getting?” Katie asked, her brow inquisitive as she settled herself down by Reid’s side and passed him the mug. She really did know how to care in the subtlest ways.
“Bob told me to leave.” With a small shrug, Reid leaned into his cup and blew.
“He asked you to leave? I thought you and Bob got on well? He’s one of the only other people in this town, except me, who seems to get you and your ways,” she winked as she spoke.
Reid laughed a little. “He told me I was tired and needed to sleep, eat and do something I enjoy.”
“Well, you do sleep, I hear your snoring. As for the eating, I’m not even going to talk about that. I agree with him about the enjoying yourself part though,” Katie smiled as she spoke, the affection very present in her voice.
Reid glanced at her before burying his head back in his mug.
“Katie, I don’t have time for stuff like that.”
“What? Enjoying yourself? Reid, come on, everyone needs to let loose once in a while.”
“What? Like you?” Reid accused with raised eyebrows, “you haven’t let loose in the whole time I’ve known you.”
“Reid, I’m a single mother with a job. I don’t have time for a life,” she stated, her answer rehearsed.
“You use that excuse every single time. Get a new one Katie or actually answer honestly,” Reid couldn’t stand bullshit at the best of times but he felt at ease with Katie and she was hiding herself- this kind of bullshit was worse.
“Ok, I know,” she sighed, “I just can’t find a balance and I’m struggling but I’m trying. That’s more than can be said for you.”
Reid shuffled uncomfortably, taking a sip. He didn’t want to go any further but knew, like a dog with a bone, Katie would push it. Honesty was great but not the stuff he knew she’d want to discuss.
“What do you expect me to do Katie, take the day off from patients who need me to go frolicking in fields or take up pottery lessons or whatever you people do? That’s not me.”
Katie shook her head with an exasperated sigh.
“I’m not talking about pottery classes, genius, I’m talking about having a life outside of your work. Friends, you know, that sort of thing.”
Reid was indignant. His deadpan expression was resolute and unwavering.
“You’re my friend. Hell, I think even the kid might like me if he could speak. Bob’s not too bad and Hank, we all know he’s my very best friend...and there’s-“
“Luke?”
Reid tensed. This was the place he knew she’d go.
“I’m not talking about that,” Reid stated coldly. His knuckles tensed around the mug and he let the heat burn his hands.
“No, of course not, you keep it all to yourself and bottle it up. I have no idea how you do it,” she replied softly, in the hope it’d soften Reid too.
“Just because I don’t spill my guts like all you people, I’m some kind of robot, right?”
“No, Reid. You just offer nothing in return. I get it, you’re driven and serious and your work is important, very important, to you but you use it. You use it as some sort of excuse, some sort of mask to hide your loneliness,” Reid winced a little and shook his head but Katie went on, “you feel and you feel a lot, I know you do. I’ve seen you with Jacob, I’ve seen you with patients, I see you on a daily basis and I’ve also seen you with Luke. You don’t think I haven’t realised you haven’t been sleeping here while he’s been in hospital? I’m not crazy Reid. One of these days you’re going to have to let someone in.”
“Like you are? Maybe you need to practice what you preach, Katie.”
She narrowed her eyes, her voice lower now, “We’re not talking about me. Stop changing the subject.”
Reid needed to get out now. Not even the heaven in a cup he was holding was enough to get him through this conversation. He’d hit his boundary and wanted out. Silence reigned for a while as Katie watched Reid sip his drink. They didn’t look at the other for a while as Reid felt his irritation bubble and his heart hurt. His inner struggle ever present.
“I’ve given his case to Bob,” Reid finally broke the silence in a small but definite voice.
Katie let her eyes fall on Reid’s face. She could see how much he wanted to speak and that he wanted to give so much more. In that moment she felt an overwhelming fondness for her roommate and simply wanted to reach out to comfort him.
“Awww Reid, you need to talk to him. I went to visit him yesterday.”
Reid looked up at Katie, a tiny gesture she knew to mean he wanted her to go on.
“He’s so confused and lost right now. We only spoke about his recovery and we shared some of Emma’s cookies but I could tell he wanted more from me. I’m his link to you and he knows it. He never once asked about you-“ Reid laughed, sharp and cold but Katie ignored it, “buuuttt I could tell he wanted to. While you were in Chicago he really did try hard to sort things out with Noah. I saw them together one day when-“
“Katie seriously. This is not helping,” Reid protested, going to put his mug down on the coffee table. Katie reached out to stop him.
“Stop being a baby. I’m not finished,” she explained as Reid settled back into the couch with a sigh, “I saw them together and they had sorted their differences. I don’t think it was easy and I certainly don’t think they’ll ever stop caring for one another but that’s natural. Luke really tried. I don’t think he gives himself anywhere near enough credit for how he handled the situation. Yes it got complicated but-“
“Honestly is not complicated Katie.” She laughed at this.
“You have no idea do you? Honesty is what makes it complicated. You gave it to Luke straight and you terrified him.”
Reid looked at her and didn’t speak. He hadn’t thought of that. Small images and snippets of conversation flooded back from the corners of his mind and slotted together. Maybe he had been too blinkered to the situation. Luke loved Noah, christ he knew this more than most and the very name elicited a feeling of irriation but Luke also explained time and time again that they weren’t together. As if Katie was reading his mind, she spoke again.
“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Brad. I’ll never ever forget him. I’ll never stop loving him. I’ll never let go of what we had and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’m learning to feel again and I’m learning to process what happened and it’s difficult but it was all I knew, all I felt and he was my whole life ... you can’t just shut off feelings. No matter how easy you make it look.”
Reid closed his eyes and let his head drop to the back of the sofa. She was so right. Luke had only known what he had with Noah. Noah was it for him, they’d had years to learn and grow from each other and somehow they’d grown apart but that didn’t mean they suddenly shared no feelings. He could see this now. He’d waded in and presented Luke with a choice and a blunt offering of feelings at a time when Luke’s emotions were raw and his head a jumble. Yes, Luke could have been a bit more forthcoming but Katie’s words rang true ... Luke was trying. Stumbling and making mistakes but he was trying, after all he was only human. Reid just had some catching up to do.
He looked at Katie as she smiled, warm and caring.
“You know what I’m going to say don’t you?” he asked.
“You hate me?”
“Got it in one.” For the first time that day he smiled and really meant it.
......
“Mum....pleeaaassseee,” Luke pleaded, his head pulsing.
“Sweetie, I am looking after you,” she scolded in her usual motherly tone as she pulled at the blankets and yanked his sheets. Luke felt raw, the meds made him drowsy and irritable and the pain in his lower back made him cranky. It wasn’t a good mixture. He wanted peace and quiet or some nice company to take his mind off just how bad he felt. Not this.
“Mom, that’s what nurses are for. Mom!” He’d had enough.
Lily stopped and looked at her son. Her heart ached as she took in his grey sunken eyes and pale skin. He had slight redness on his cheeks but she didn’t know if this was due to him regaining colour or because she was fussing. She desisted and sat by his side, wanting only the best for him.
“I’m sorry baby I don’t mean to fuss, I just want you to be comfortable,” she explained whilst tenderly stroking his hair. Luke sighed and turned his head to face her.
“I know. I just don’t want you to worry and get all stressed.”
As if the gods realised a voice of reason and rationality was required, the door opened as Holden stepped in holding two coffees.
“Lily, leave the boy alone for two seconds,” he complained, his voice laced with understanding and compassion.
Lily smiled and looked down as she took the coffee from Holden’s hand.
“Thank you.”
Luke watched his parents in this moment and simply enjoyed them being in the same room together. He was glad his dad had returned from his trip with Molly as soon as he could.
“So, the doctor said anything about your progress?” Holden asked, patting Luke’s blanketed leg and positioning himself at the foot of the bed.
“No, Bob said he’d be coming in later on to explain the next stages to me though. He’s been great and my nurse, Rosie, she’s been taking good care of me too. She writes short stories so she’s been letting me read them, she even asked me to edit a few.”
Holden recognised the spark in Luke’s eye and was grateful for its return.
“Good, or else your mom wouldn’t sleep, you know?”
Luke smiled knowing that Holden always deflected his concern onto Lily and used her in this way. Holden winked quickly making Luke giggle. He felt five years old but for the purposes of today, he was ok with that.
“I don’t understand why Bob’s running ragged to try and take care of you too. What happened to Doctor Oliver, I thought he was over seeing your care?”
Luke was visably affected by simply his name and this didn’t go unnoticed by his parents. His stomach flipped and that slight blush grew on his cheeks.
Stammering he replied, “Oh, I erm, I think Bob wanted to make sure that, erm, he took charge so Rei-I mean, Doctor Oliver could focus on his surgery commitments.”
This seemed to satisfy Lily and Holden but what Luke didn’t witness was the small knowing look they shared.
“Right champ,” Holden started, raising from the bed and tapping Luke’s leg lovingly, “I’m coming back in tomorrow and I’ll bring Ethan. You have no idea how many times he asks to come see you, he says he wants to show you his science project.”
Luke’s smile beamed. He loved his little brother and his visits were definitely a highlight.
“Aww cool, thanks dad. Tell him I can’t wait to see it. Would you be able to do something for me please? Could you bring my chess set with you next time you come?”
Lily leaned over and kissed Luke’s fevered brow, lingering a little showing her reluctance to leave.
“No problem, of course I will. I’ll come tomorrow sweetheart. I hope you feel better, she whispered, her words tickling his cheek. Holden smiled and held the door for her, turning only to wink once more as he left.
Luke sighed contentedly but felt that ever niggling feeling of loss at their departure. His brain littered with thoughts produced one distinct image over and over, only made worse by Lily bringing him up. He thought of the day he kissed Reid, his lips lingering and his hands shaking a little from desire as he reached for Reid’s cheek. He’d felt exposed but knew in that moment that Reid wanted him. This was enough, more than enough, and was something he’d craved for a long time. Luke wanted that feeling again. He’d never experienced anything like it and the longing he felt to see him, to hear him, to argue with him, to laugh with him, to touch him ... it was driving him crazy. One good thing stemmed from it and that was the expectation and excitement that any day he may step into his room and give Luke exactly what he was hoping for. He told himself to stop being stupid, Reid was done.
......
Reid had given in and agreed to take a walk in the park with Katie later the next day after they’d picked Jacob up from day care. He had never done things like that before and wasn’t sure exactly what was expected of him. He’d explained this to Katie and was laughed at, playfully punched and told that it was easy, you only had to put one foot in front of the other. He’d decided to suck it up and endure it.
He was down for early rounds that morning and as he changed into his scrubs he felt that same pull and yearning he had been desperately trying to ignore. He’d assigned Rosie as Luke’s nurse knowing she was sweet, adorable, chatty and creative- Reid didn’t care much for her as she made his brain hurt but he knew Luke would take to her like a sister. Knowing she was attentive and actually skilled, compared to most of the inbreds on the payroll, gave Reid the reassurance he needed. Still, he wanted to take control himself.
As he made his way down to the lab to check on a sample he’d submitted, he couldn’t stop himself. He stood far enough away to be out of eye-line but close enough to see into Luke’s room. He saw Luke sitting up in bed and made out his messy hair and red t-shirt. He could see a smile making his heart jolt. Luke’s eyes were wide and shining despite their dark circles and Reid could see his weak posture but saw an inner strength there. All in one glance, Reid could see all of this. Luke could tell his entire life story with just his eyes.
He saw a small child, about 4 years old, bouncing by the bedside holding what appeared to be a toy robot. Luke was reaching to hold it and the child was swatting his hand away. Placing it on the table by Luke’s bed, the little boy seemed to be proudly showing it off as he stood defiantly with his hands on his hips. Reid liked arrogance and this little kid was full of it. He found himself smiling widely. He then noticed Holden sitting in the chair in the corner, his head cocked to one side surveying his two boys. Reid wanted to leave then, he felt he was intruding and if he was honest, his breathing was off and his stomach in too many knots to stay. He let swiftly with a pained sigh.
Author: Happyinchintz72
Rating: PG-13... see where it goes!
Summary Overall: Luke needs a doctor, the only one he wants, he hasn't seen in over a month (lots of Protective Reid, plenty of fluff and a good dose of angst!)
Summary- Chapter Six: Reid gets home and opens up a bit. Luke has a visit in hospital. Reid returns to work....
Author notes: I know I'm keeping you hanging for more Luke and Reid interaction but I wanted some growth there and some development before I put them together and the next chapter is entirely Luke and Reid and a little cameo from another character :)
I adore Holden so much so I really hope I wrote him ok! There's yet more Katie and Reid, because I can hardly resist!
It's a LOT longer and the next chapter is much the same so I really really hope you enjoy!!
[This is not beta-d so all mistakes are mine!] <3
Reid threw his jacket on the sofa and then threw himself down too. How could Bob see right through him? His entire life was spent perfecting the mask he showed to the world and underneath his true feelings stayed hidden and secret. If nothing penetrated this mask, nothing hurt or nothing became messy and complicated. He couldn’t deal with that. The very thought of a tangled mess of emotions, feelings and “heart to hearts” made his head reel and his skin itch. He wanted blunt honesty and clear lines but not everyone shared this wish. Most other people either relished in their own untidy lives and enjoyed the chaos or didn’t know any better. Being in Oakhell for as long as he had only made him sure this town was rife with shambolic set ups and families in utter disfunction, plus everyone spoke their hearts and minds- those that didn’t were outed eventually. Reid clawed at his hair and threw his head back on the couch.
Luke was an exception to this general rule in some ways. His heart was on his sleeve, his grin spoke a thousands words and he openly shared himself with people- sickeningly so. The Snyders were schmaltzy at the best of times, and Reid was beginning to learn this, but beneath their cuddly and cookie-cutter exterior was buried a world of pain, confusion and a past, Reid expected, they’d all like to forget. Reid was sure that Luke had experienced his fair share of drama but he had never been privy to the details, therefore, Reid could see Luke for his true self, minus the baggage. Luke was innocent, a fact Reid could never stop reminding himself; Luke was young, something Reid, although he’d never tell anyone, secretly found insanely sexy; Luke was spirited, Reid knew this more than most- this was the reason he was in this damned predicament. Above all, Luke was infuriating. He had a way of drawing you in, making you smile, giving as good as he got and generally being completely fucking charming and cute. Reid had been with guys and liked a couple enough to want them to stick around a while longer but none, none, had gotten so under his skin as Luke Snyder. Reid felt like punching the sofa. He couldn’t stand the way the kid made him feel. As if Reid Oliver, Doctor Reid Oliver, was becoming unhinged.
The month spent in Chicago was a blessing. Yea, that’s what he told himself. Reid knew it was for the best. Some head space outside of the suffocation of Oakhell- exactly what he needed. After the Luke and Noah saga continued and Reid felt himself losing IQ points, dignity and even a smidgen of resolve, he needed out. Noah was a sweet guy, he’d admit it, but Reid didn’t buy into drama and was certainly not going to play the bad guy or take the role of the home wrecker. Noah was cherished, adored and god damned worshipped by the Snyder clan, screw even attempting to nuzzle in on that. The thought of the wrath of Lily was enough to make Reid tired and irritated.
He just couldn’t stay away though. Luke. He was in his brain, in his thoughts, in his mind, in his memories and if the past week had hammered anything into his skull, Luke Snyder was in his damn heart and there was nothing, not even a world renowned neurosurgeon, could do to change that.
“Reid! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
Katie appeared, looking slightly panic stricken, in the lamp lit door way clutching a blanket and a small pair of booties. Her hair was scrunched messily. She looked adorable. Katie had a place in his heart, this he could admit.... even happily some days.
“Oh right, sorry.”
“Reid you’re lying on the sofa with the lights off. Stop being creepy,” she complained with an amused shake of the head.
Reid watched as she headed to the kitchen and began preparing drinks as if it was a knee-jerk reaction. People in this town had something major for stuff like this. Not opposed to Katie’s cosiness at this very moment in time, Reid wasn’t going to squirm and disappear into his room. If he was honest, he wanted some human contact- other than patients and the other half assed doctors that roamed Memorial’s corridors.
“Sorry. It’s been a long day,” Reid explained, stretching out further on the couch.
“A bad day or just a long day?” Katie asked with a glance over her shoulder as she stirred the steaming cups.
“A bit of both.”
“Is that all I’m getting?” Katie asked, her brow inquisitive as she settled herself down by Reid’s side and passed him the mug. She really did know how to care in the subtlest ways.
“Bob told me to leave.” With a small shrug, Reid leaned into his cup and blew.
“He asked you to leave? I thought you and Bob got on well? He’s one of the only other people in this town, except me, who seems to get you and your ways,” she winked as she spoke.
Reid laughed a little. “He told me I was tired and needed to sleep, eat and do something I enjoy.”
“Well, you do sleep, I hear your snoring. As for the eating, I’m not even going to talk about that. I agree with him about the enjoying yourself part though,” Katie smiled as she spoke, the affection very present in her voice.
Reid glanced at her before burying his head back in his mug.
“Katie, I don’t have time for stuff like that.”
“What? Enjoying yourself? Reid, come on, everyone needs to let loose once in a while.”
“What? Like you?” Reid accused with raised eyebrows, “you haven’t let loose in the whole time I’ve known you.”
“Reid, I’m a single mother with a job. I don’t have time for a life,” she stated, her answer rehearsed.
“You use that excuse every single time. Get a new one Katie or actually answer honestly,” Reid couldn’t stand bullshit at the best of times but he felt at ease with Katie and she was hiding herself- this kind of bullshit was worse.
“Ok, I know,” she sighed, “I just can’t find a balance and I’m struggling but I’m trying. That’s more than can be said for you.”
Reid shuffled uncomfortably, taking a sip. He didn’t want to go any further but knew, like a dog with a bone, Katie would push it. Honesty was great but not the stuff he knew she’d want to discuss.
“What do you expect me to do Katie, take the day off from patients who need me to go frolicking in fields or take up pottery lessons or whatever you people do? That’s not me.”
Katie shook her head with an exasperated sigh.
“I’m not talking about pottery classes, genius, I’m talking about having a life outside of your work. Friends, you know, that sort of thing.”
Reid was indignant. His deadpan expression was resolute and unwavering.
“You’re my friend. Hell, I think even the kid might like me if he could speak. Bob’s not too bad and Hank, we all know he’s my very best friend...and there’s-“
“Luke?”
Reid tensed. This was the place he knew she’d go.
“I’m not talking about that,” Reid stated coldly. His knuckles tensed around the mug and he let the heat burn his hands.
“No, of course not, you keep it all to yourself and bottle it up. I have no idea how you do it,” she replied softly, in the hope it’d soften Reid too.
“Just because I don’t spill my guts like all you people, I’m some kind of robot, right?”
“No, Reid. You just offer nothing in return. I get it, you’re driven and serious and your work is important, very important, to you but you use it. You use it as some sort of excuse, some sort of mask to hide your loneliness,” Reid winced a little and shook his head but Katie went on, “you feel and you feel a lot, I know you do. I’ve seen you with Jacob, I’ve seen you with patients, I see you on a daily basis and I’ve also seen you with Luke. You don’t think I haven’t realised you haven’t been sleeping here while he’s been in hospital? I’m not crazy Reid. One of these days you’re going to have to let someone in.”
“Like you are? Maybe you need to practice what you preach, Katie.”
She narrowed her eyes, her voice lower now, “We’re not talking about me. Stop changing the subject.”
Reid needed to get out now. Not even the heaven in a cup he was holding was enough to get him through this conversation. He’d hit his boundary and wanted out. Silence reigned for a while as Katie watched Reid sip his drink. They didn’t look at the other for a while as Reid felt his irritation bubble and his heart hurt. His inner struggle ever present.
“I’ve given his case to Bob,” Reid finally broke the silence in a small but definite voice.
Katie let her eyes fall on Reid’s face. She could see how much he wanted to speak and that he wanted to give so much more. In that moment she felt an overwhelming fondness for her roommate and simply wanted to reach out to comfort him.
“Awww Reid, you need to talk to him. I went to visit him yesterday.”
Reid looked up at Katie, a tiny gesture she knew to mean he wanted her to go on.
“He’s so confused and lost right now. We only spoke about his recovery and we shared some of Emma’s cookies but I could tell he wanted more from me. I’m his link to you and he knows it. He never once asked about you-“ Reid laughed, sharp and cold but Katie ignored it, “buuuttt I could tell he wanted to. While you were in Chicago he really did try hard to sort things out with Noah. I saw them together one day when-“
“Katie seriously. This is not helping,” Reid protested, going to put his mug down on the coffee table. Katie reached out to stop him.
“Stop being a baby. I’m not finished,” she explained as Reid settled back into the couch with a sigh, “I saw them together and they had sorted their differences. I don’t think it was easy and I certainly don’t think they’ll ever stop caring for one another but that’s natural. Luke really tried. I don’t think he gives himself anywhere near enough credit for how he handled the situation. Yes it got complicated but-“
“Honestly is not complicated Katie.” She laughed at this.
“You have no idea do you? Honesty is what makes it complicated. You gave it to Luke straight and you terrified him.”
Reid looked at her and didn’t speak. He hadn’t thought of that. Small images and snippets of conversation flooded back from the corners of his mind and slotted together. Maybe he had been too blinkered to the situation. Luke loved Noah, christ he knew this more than most and the very name elicited a feeling of irriation but Luke also explained time and time again that they weren’t together. As if Katie was reading his mind, she spoke again.
“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Brad. I’ll never ever forget him. I’ll never stop loving him. I’ll never let go of what we had and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’m learning to feel again and I’m learning to process what happened and it’s difficult but it was all I knew, all I felt and he was my whole life ... you can’t just shut off feelings. No matter how easy you make it look.”
Reid closed his eyes and let his head drop to the back of the sofa. She was so right. Luke had only known what he had with Noah. Noah was it for him, they’d had years to learn and grow from each other and somehow they’d grown apart but that didn’t mean they suddenly shared no feelings. He could see this now. He’d waded in and presented Luke with a choice and a blunt offering of feelings at a time when Luke’s emotions were raw and his head a jumble. Yes, Luke could have been a bit more forthcoming but Katie’s words rang true ... Luke was trying. Stumbling and making mistakes but he was trying, after all he was only human. Reid just had some catching up to do.
He looked at Katie as she smiled, warm and caring.
“You know what I’m going to say don’t you?” he asked.
“You hate me?”
“Got it in one.” For the first time that day he smiled and really meant it.
......
“Mum....pleeaaassseee,” Luke pleaded, his head pulsing.
“Sweetie, I am looking after you,” she scolded in her usual motherly tone as she pulled at the blankets and yanked his sheets. Luke felt raw, the meds made him drowsy and irritable and the pain in his lower back made him cranky. It wasn’t a good mixture. He wanted peace and quiet or some nice company to take his mind off just how bad he felt. Not this.
“Mom, that’s what nurses are for. Mom!” He’d had enough.
Lily stopped and looked at her son. Her heart ached as she took in his grey sunken eyes and pale skin. He had slight redness on his cheeks but she didn’t know if this was due to him regaining colour or because she was fussing. She desisted and sat by his side, wanting only the best for him.
“I’m sorry baby I don’t mean to fuss, I just want you to be comfortable,” she explained whilst tenderly stroking his hair. Luke sighed and turned his head to face her.
“I know. I just don’t want you to worry and get all stressed.”
As if the gods realised a voice of reason and rationality was required, the door opened as Holden stepped in holding two coffees.
“Lily, leave the boy alone for two seconds,” he complained, his voice laced with understanding and compassion.
Lily smiled and looked down as she took the coffee from Holden’s hand.
“Thank you.”
Luke watched his parents in this moment and simply enjoyed them being in the same room together. He was glad his dad had returned from his trip with Molly as soon as he could.
“So, the doctor said anything about your progress?” Holden asked, patting Luke’s blanketed leg and positioning himself at the foot of the bed.
“No, Bob said he’d be coming in later on to explain the next stages to me though. He’s been great and my nurse, Rosie, she’s been taking good care of me too. She writes short stories so she’s been letting me read them, she even asked me to edit a few.”
Holden recognised the spark in Luke’s eye and was grateful for its return.
“Good, or else your mom wouldn’t sleep, you know?”
Luke smiled knowing that Holden always deflected his concern onto Lily and used her in this way. Holden winked quickly making Luke giggle. He felt five years old but for the purposes of today, he was ok with that.
“I don’t understand why Bob’s running ragged to try and take care of you too. What happened to Doctor Oliver, I thought he was over seeing your care?”
Luke was visably affected by simply his name and this didn’t go unnoticed by his parents. His stomach flipped and that slight blush grew on his cheeks.
Stammering he replied, “Oh, I erm, I think Bob wanted to make sure that, erm, he took charge so Rei-I mean, Doctor Oliver could focus on his surgery commitments.”
This seemed to satisfy Lily and Holden but what Luke didn’t witness was the small knowing look they shared.
“Right champ,” Holden started, raising from the bed and tapping Luke’s leg lovingly, “I’m coming back in tomorrow and I’ll bring Ethan. You have no idea how many times he asks to come see you, he says he wants to show you his science project.”
Luke’s smile beamed. He loved his little brother and his visits were definitely a highlight.
“Aww cool, thanks dad. Tell him I can’t wait to see it. Would you be able to do something for me please? Could you bring my chess set with you next time you come?”
Lily leaned over and kissed Luke’s fevered brow, lingering a little showing her reluctance to leave.
“No problem, of course I will. I’ll come tomorrow sweetheart. I hope you feel better, she whispered, her words tickling his cheek. Holden smiled and held the door for her, turning only to wink once more as he left.
Luke sighed contentedly but felt that ever niggling feeling of loss at their departure. His brain littered with thoughts produced one distinct image over and over, only made worse by Lily bringing him up. He thought of the day he kissed Reid, his lips lingering and his hands shaking a little from desire as he reached for Reid’s cheek. He’d felt exposed but knew in that moment that Reid wanted him. This was enough, more than enough, and was something he’d craved for a long time. Luke wanted that feeling again. He’d never experienced anything like it and the longing he felt to see him, to hear him, to argue with him, to laugh with him, to touch him ... it was driving him crazy. One good thing stemmed from it and that was the expectation and excitement that any day he may step into his room and give Luke exactly what he was hoping for. He told himself to stop being stupid, Reid was done.
......
Reid had given in and agreed to take a walk in the park with Katie later the next day after they’d picked Jacob up from day care. He had never done things like that before and wasn’t sure exactly what was expected of him. He’d explained this to Katie and was laughed at, playfully punched and told that it was easy, you only had to put one foot in front of the other. He’d decided to suck it up and endure it.
He was down for early rounds that morning and as he changed into his scrubs he felt that same pull and yearning he had been desperately trying to ignore. He’d assigned Rosie as Luke’s nurse knowing she was sweet, adorable, chatty and creative- Reid didn’t care much for her as she made his brain hurt but he knew Luke would take to her like a sister. Knowing she was attentive and actually skilled, compared to most of the inbreds on the payroll, gave Reid the reassurance he needed. Still, he wanted to take control himself.
As he made his way down to the lab to check on a sample he’d submitted, he couldn’t stop himself. He stood far enough away to be out of eye-line but close enough to see into Luke’s room. He saw Luke sitting up in bed and made out his messy hair and red t-shirt. He could see a smile making his heart jolt. Luke’s eyes were wide and shining despite their dark circles and Reid could see his weak posture but saw an inner strength there. All in one glance, Reid could see all of this. Luke could tell his entire life story with just his eyes.
He saw a small child, about 4 years old, bouncing by the bedside holding what appeared to be a toy robot. Luke was reaching to hold it and the child was swatting his hand away. Placing it on the table by Luke’s bed, the little boy seemed to be proudly showing it off as he stood defiantly with his hands on his hips. Reid liked arrogance and this little kid was full of it. He found himself smiling widely. He then noticed Holden sitting in the chair in the corner, his head cocked to one side surveying his two boys. Reid wanted to leave then, he felt he was intruding and if he was honest, his breathing was off and his stomach in too many knots to stay. He let swiftly with a pained sigh.