Fan fiction: Stars and Fate
Title: Stars and Fate
Rating:PG-13
Warnings: I cried writing this :(
Summary: Reid wants Luke to let go.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own the boys.
Luke sat down on the bench outside the neurology wing and sighed, looking up at the stars in the sky. They were having a party, celebrating 10 years since the day it had opened. Luke thought back to that day and smiled, it was one of the happiest of his life. He’d thought he was on top of the world and that he had a future a head of him with Reid. He was chuckling sadly at how wrong he had been when the man in question sat down next to him. He could feel it without even looking to see him there.
“Hey,” Reid said, following Luke’s gaze up to the stars.
“Hey yourself.” Luke smiled, finally looking over to the man beside him. He was so beautiful in the starlight, which made Luke’s heart break even more. He wished that he’d appreciated it more when they were together, when they were happy.
“How’ve you been?” Reid asked, meeting Luke’s gaze.
“Better.” Luke nodded and then smiled sadly “I still think about you though.”
“I know you do. How could you not? I’m brilliant.” Reid smirked. Luke wanted to punch him playfully on the arm, but he didn’t, he couldn’t, so instead he looked down at his hands in his lap and laughed quietly.
“You’re an arrogant jerk, you know that?” Luke looked up again, catching the playful glint in Reid’s sparkling blue eyes.
“I know, but you love it.” Reid’s eyes instantly softened as he smiled slightly. Luke wanted to touch him so badly. He just wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek or grasp his hand and never let it go, but he knew he couldn’t. It was impossible.
“I want to be with you.” Luke said simply, not breaking his hold on Reid’s eyes.
“I know you do. That is what I want too, but we can’t.” Reid replied “You know we can’t.”
“Why not?” Luke yelled, swallowing the lump that was rising in his throat.
“Because there’s other people to think about, Luke.” Reid kept his calm tone, not once raising his voice “You need to be happy, I know that, but you need to find a new way to be happy.”
“But I could…”
“Don’t even think about it Luke,” Reid interrupted sternly “Not for a second. That would just be stupid.”
“But I miss you so much.” Luke whispered gently, almost to himself. The tears that had threatened the corners of his eyes slowly began to fall and leave a trail of water on his cheeks.
“I know you do.” Reid replied, breaking contact with Luke’s eyes and looking back towards the stars. They were beautiful. Luke closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the bench, pretending it was Reid’s shoulder.
Then they were silent for almost 2 minutes. It wasn’t awkward or hard. It was an easy silence, almost comforting, like it had been all those years ago. After a while Luke broke the perfection.
“I’ve met someone.” He gulped nervously “His name’s Mark.”
“I’ve seen,” Reid smiled genuinely “He seems nice”
“He is, really nice.” Luke smiled too, but it was less genuine that Reid’s, more forced.
“Hey,” Reid said, forcing Luke to look at him simply using the tone in his voice. He never did need actions, only his words. “Don’t worry. I’m fine with it. Does he make you happy?”
Luke nodded, and then slowly shook his head. “He’s not you though.”
“Well of course not. That’d just be creepy.” He shuddered jokingly which made Luke giggle. Reid loved that sound. “I just want you to be happy. You deserve it, Luke.”
Luke wiped the tears away from his eyes, but it proved to be pointless, as they were quickly replaced by fresh ones.
“There isn’t a day goes by when I don’t wish it hadn’t happened, you know, the accident.” Luke squeezed his eyes shut, remembering the horrific events of that day, remembering the doctors words.
I’m sorry, he put up a good fight, but there was nothing we could do.
“Me too, but I guess it was just my time.” To that Luke shook his head weakly, letting out a choked sob “Either that or God was just feeling bitchy that day.” That earned him a giggle from Luke, and he smiled in return.
“I miss you so much it hurts.” Luke sobbed. “It’s so hard Reid, it’s too hard. Every time I go to bed at night I feel a sharp pain in my heart and all I can do is pray that it’s gone in the morning, but it never is. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“You need to let me go.” Reid shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer on the planet.
“I don’t know if I can.” Luke admitted, wiping away a few more tears.
“You can.” Reid smiled slightly, and then sighed when he got no response from Luke. “It’s been 6 years, Luke. You need to let go.”
“But I can’t live without you.” Luke looked back down at his hands and played with the ring that was on his middle finger.
“Hey…Hey, look at me,” and Luke did. “I’m always going to be with you, no matter what, and I’ll be waiting for you. You made me the happiest man to walk this planet, and you were my life, but Luke, you’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. You still have a chance to be happy. Don’t hold back. What ever you have with this Mark guy, or who ever else you end up with in the future, it won’t make what we had any less. It was what it was and it was wonderful.”
“But why does it make me feel so guilty?” Luke sighed, and continued to twiddle the ring on his middle finger.
“Because you were always too selfless for your own good.” Reid shook his head as he watched Luke playing with the ring. It was a bad habit of his, one that was once Reid’s. “Be happy Luke. Let go.”
“How do I do it?” Luke asked quietly, looking back to Reid with his teary, bambi eyes. They always did break Reid’s heart
“I think you know.” Reid smiled sadly then looked back up at the stars. Luke nodded and looked down at the ring he wore on his middle finger. He’d worn it everyday and every night for 6 years. He’d given it to Reid on their 1st anniversary. Reid had been wearing it on the night of the accident.
“I really love you, you know that?” Luke gulped and let the hurt wash over him like fire burning away at everything he was. It felt like the dark cloud in his soul was getting bigger and it was never going to stop.
“I know.” Reid smiled “I love you too, and remember, I’ll be waiting.”
Luke nodded again then slowly removed the ring. He’d never felt pain like it, but once it was finally off his finger he felt the dark cloud disappear. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The air was different somehow, fresher. Everything was different. He was free.
He looked to his left and Reid had gone. Luke smiled and placed the ring where he had been sitting before standing up and running a hand through his hair. He turned away and took one last look at the stars. They seemed a little brighter than before, so Luke smiled and wiped the remainder of his tears away. He slowly walked back into the party and it didn’t seem so difficult anymore.
Reid smiled down from the stars. He thought back to that conversation. God, he’d been sappy.
Yes, that stupid, beautiful, blonde brat had made him all ridiculous, but Reid didn’t regret a second of it.
Please don't hate me.
Feedback=Me grinning Like a maniac :D xx