(no subject)
Title: The Wedding, chapters 7 & 8
Author: SERipley
Original Posting: FanFiction.net [pleeeease leave reviews on this site as well for me!]
Rating: G/K
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, gosh darnit.
Summary: Luke and Reid hit a bump in the road on a day that should be full of happiness.
Notes: Enjoyyy. <3
Chapter 7
Reid never did finish his second beer. In the end he wandered into the living room he'd been in more times than he could count, but he couldn't remember taking the time to actually look around. On the mantel about the fireplace were an assortment of pictures, all crammed together in Emma's obvious attempt to never take one down once she'd put it up. He laughed a little at the pictures of Lily and Holden as teenagers and Luke as a little kid covered in mud. A picture in the back caught his eye and his hand paused over it before finally picking it up and holding it before him. It was of Thanksgiving, probably four years ago, Reid guessed. The Snyder family was gathered around the table. Luke sat near the front of the image. He looked so young, Reid thought, so carefree and happy. Beside him was Noah, their hands tightly linked together on the table. Reid felt his stomach turn and quickly put the picture back.
His eyes grazed the rest of the photos as he started to turn away, intent on leaving, when another picture managed to grab his attention. It was at the far end of the mantel but at the front. The frame was rustic, just like the rest, but it was obviously a newer picture. The picture quality was better, for one, but the thing that really gave it away was the fact that Reid was in it.
He stared at it for a few minutes, dropping down into one of the chairs. It was a picture from Christmas. He couldn't remember this being taken, he realized, though that wasn't surprising. The picture was slightly crooked and taken from a low angle. He assumed it was probably taken by Ethan, who had been snapping pictures on his new Disney camera all evening. The main focus of the picture was Lily and Faith, who were laughing at something, apparently Holden, who looked confused but in a good way. Reid didn't pay attention to any of that, though, instead staring at the background of the picture. Luke was sitting on the couch, looking in on the scene and laughing along. Reid sat beside him, legs casually crossed and their hands slung lazily together. Reid was staring at Luke with complete awe, drinking in the beauty of his smile.
Reid suddenly felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He realized painfully that things had changed more than he cared to admit. He couldn't remember the last time he'd looked at Luke that way. He knew he'd stared in awe at Luke's happiness earlier, but he remembered the pain that was strung alongside that bliss. He also couldn't remember the last time they'd held hands just because they felt like it and not because one of them was trying to literally hold onto the other.
Life with Luke had been one hell of the rollercoaster the past year, but Reid didn't regret a moment of it. They'd started dating in early August after more drama and chaos that Reid cared to remember. Noah left for California around that time, giving Luke and Reid the chance they needed to truly fall for each other. Reid could remember perfectly the day they moved into their own apartment. It was late November, just before Thanksgiving. They were eating takeout on the floor of their empty living room, talking and laughing the night away. Luke had thrown a roll at him after a rather crude comment, which had led to a minor food fight and cascaded into Reid chasing the amazingly quick Luke around the apartment for almost ten minute before he finally managed to tackle him to the floor. Reid could remember Luke's flushed cheeks, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath him as Reid pinned him to the floor. They'd stayed like that for a minute, just staring and smiling, before Reid finally rolled over and laid beside Luke on the carpet.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, Dr. Oliver," Luke had said with a smile, reaching out to tenderly run his hands through Reid's hair. Reid hadn't expected that at all. They'd been together for a few months, and yes, they now lived together as well, but they had never really talked about love. He knew he'd worried Luke with his startled expression when the blond pulled his hand away. Reid laughed softly, grabbing his hand quickly and pulling it to his face, kissing it gently.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, too, Mr. Snyder," Reid had admitted. He'd been nervous at first, but the look on Luke's face made him feel more confident than he'd ever been in his life. They laid like that for hours, kissing and holding each other close before falling asleep. It wasn't quite the way either of them had imagined spending their first night alone in their own place, but Reid wouldn't change it for anything.
Back in the present, Reid sighed, slowly rising to his feet and replacing the photo on the mantel.
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"I'm sorry, I just, I can't do this right now," Luke declared, staggering to his feet.
"Luke, wait, at least let me walk you back," Noah insisted, standing up and moving after him.
"It's alright, I'll be fine."
"C'mon, Luke. Did I say something wrong?" Noah called. Luke stopped and looked back at Noah, trying to smile but failing miserably.
"No, it's nothing you said. I just think I need to work this out with Reid, or on my own," Luke began, searching for the right words.
"Just not with me," Noah said for him. He was frowning, hands finding his pockets again.
Luke frowned as well, hesitating to answer. "Yeah, not with you," he finally said.
"I get it, Luke. Really, I do," said Noah. "Just promise me something," he said. Luke paused. "Don't let yourself be miserable, one way or another."
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Luke made his way up to the house with little trouble. His vision was a little off and he stumbled more than once, but he knew this property better than anywhere else on earth and was able to manage his way back without any real difficulty. He stumbled into the kitchen, feeling more depressed than when he'd left Noah. The entire walk back he kept going over the events of the day, the events of the past few weeks, trying to pinpoint when things had changed between them. He couldn't find a specific moment but he knew it was recent. The tension had been building for a few weeks now and Luke couldn't deny it any longer. He'd come home to the apartment to find that Reid wasn't there and he'd wake the following morning to the same thing. The first few times he'd at least found a note on the pillow or had a text from Reid telling him he'd be late. Now he awoke to nothing and come home to nothing.
Once in the kitchen Luke didn't hesitate to rummage through the fridge, pulling out two more beers and bringing them with him to the table. He stared at them for the longest time. Finally he gave up on the staring match and grabbed up both beers, returning them to the fridge and pouring himself a large glass of water. He was only a little tipsy and knew that a few glasses of water and a bit of time would have him feeling good as new. He dropped into the chair again, leaning on the table with a staggered sigh. His eyes fell shut, face twisting in pain, too frustrated and equally exhausted to deal with any of this.
Down the hall, Reid sat on the couch in the family room, remembering that evening and wishing more than anything that he could go back to that evening and the way things had one been.
Chapter 8
It was seven o'clock and the sky had taken on more red than blue. It was beautiful outside, the breeze was warm, and everything was going seemingly perfectly for Lily and Holden. Little did they know that up at the house their son, with alcohol in his system and torment etched onto his face, was slowly falling apart.
The majority of the guests had left by now, mostly family members and those actually living at the house still lingering around, enjoying a few more drinks and dancing carelessly as the sun went down. Aaron and Marnie said goodbye to the newly remarried couple, promising to be back in the morning for breakfast before Lily and Holden left for their honeymoon.
"I just have to grab something from the house," Aaron told Marnie as they approached the gravel lot still filled with cars. He kissed her cheek and sent her off to the car while he jogged up to the house, welcoming himself into the kitchen as he had done a million times.
Inside he found his blond haired brother, slumped over and supporting his head with his arm, eyes closed. For a moment Aaron wasn't even sure he was conscious.
"Luke?"
Luke looked up, his eyes so red and his lips turned so sharply into a frown that Aaron knew immediately that he'd been crying. Luke didn't even bother trying to hide it, either. Aaron came over immediately, crouching down beside his younger brother and putting a hand on his back.
"Hey, are you alright?" he asked. Luke sighed, and Aaron got a whiff of his breath. "Have you been drinking?" he asked loudly, staring at Luke in disbelief. Luke looked away, neither admitting nor denying the accusation. Aaron frowned, watching his brother with concern. "What were you thinking, Luke?" he asked carefully.
"I was thinking that everything is falling to pieces and that I deserved a few damn beers," Luke said bitterly, pulling away from his brother and standing abruptly. Aaron stood as well, following Luke across the room.
"Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? Especially from you?" said Aaron, not caring right now if he hurt his brother's feelings; he was still too concerned with Luke's medical health to focus on his mental health.
"Yes, Aaron, I know how stupid it was. I have one kidney and a crappy one at that. I already got this lecture from Noah, I don't need it from you, too," Luke shouted.
"Never thought I'd say this but maybe Mr. Mayer has a point," came a third voice. Luke turned, eyes wildly hurt to see Reid standing in the doorway of the kitchen from the hall. He looked worried and angry but most of all, he looked disappointed. Luke's face fell further and he wasn't sure he could handle it anymore.
"I'll let you two talk," Aaron said simply, skirting around them both and heading up the stairs, already planning to find a different way out of the house.
Reid stood quietly, weary eyes focused on Luke who was staring back with just as much pain and exhaustion.
"Go ahead, say it," Luke said, obviously feeling defeated.
"Say what?" asked Reid.
"You know what! You know you want to rip into me just like everyone else," Luke shouted. Reid said nothing at first, mouth hanging open a little in shock.
"Is that what you want? For me to start yelling at you?"
Luke stared at him for a moment before dropping his eyes.
"I was in the other room and I heard Aaron come in and start talking to you. I wasn't going to come in, but when I heard him say that you'd been drinking…" Reid trailed off, shaking his head. "I knew I had to come and make sure you were alright. That's why I'm standing here, Luke. Not to yell at your or to put you down. Noah and your brother have already done that enough for one day. I just needed to see that you were okay."
Luke stared at Reid, completely surprised by his words. He'd truly been expecting Reid to be furious with him and to start explaining all the medical reasons that drinking was a boneheaded move for him. Guilt suddenly crept inside him, hating that he hadn't had more faith in Reid.
"Come on, let me take you home before your parents see you like that," said Reid, his voice tired. He pursed his lips together and dug in his pocket for the keys. Luke said nothing, silently following him out the back door.
"Yeah, I found him nearly passed out at the house, it's been a long day for him, so I figured I'd just get him home. He'll be there for breakfast tomorrow, though," Reid was saying into his cell phone as they turned off the gravel drive onto the main road. Luke could hear his father's voice on the other end. "We'll see, depends on if I get called in or not," Reid continued and Luke knew that Holden was asking if he'd be there too. "Alright, sounds good. Congrats again, by the way," Reid concluded. A moment later he was hanging up the phone and dropping it into the cup holder beside him.
"I could have talked to them myself," said Luke.
"You're not exactly a good liar, Luke, especially when you're under the influence," Reid said as gently as he could. It still hit a nerve with Luke. Reid turned to him, frowning to see his boyfriend leaning on the door and staring out the window. He looked back to the road.
"Why were you drinking, Luke?" he asked in as flat of a tone as he could manage. Luke barely stirred.
"Seemed like a pretty good option at the time," the blond said quietly. Reid frowned.
"Talk to me, Luke."
"Why should I, Reid? I tried to talk to you before and you just kept blowing me off. Hell, I've tried talking to you for weeks and every time I try to talk about our future and our relationship you change the subject," Luke said loudly, making Reid flinch.
"I'm sorry. I know, I haven't been the most cooperative person lately," began Reid.
"That's for damn sure," Luke said bitterly. Reid flinched again.
Reid took a deep breath, trying to keep his famous temper under wraps.
"Did you ever think that maybe it's because I wasn't ready to talk about that yet? To discuss what we'd be doing in a year let alone in five or ten? Or that I've been just as confused these past few weeks about where we stand as you've been?" asked Reid as they pulled up to a red light. He took the opportunity to look at Luke, the seriousness of his question evident in his face. "I can't explain why we've been off the past few weeks any more than you can, Luke."
"Maybe if you would just talk to me we could figure it out," Luke began. Reid shook his head, his face twisting in disbelief.
"Since when have you known me to be the talking type?" he asked first. "And when the hell were we suppose to talk about it, Luke? Over the ten minutes we get at breakfast, or at night when we're both exhausted, assuming we're both home at the same time at all? I'm not blaming anyone here, but we're both been busy as hell lately; you with the foundation's latest projects and me with getting this neurology wing off the ground. We never take the same day off or take lunch breaks together or set aside an evening just for us anymore, which, by the way, is half our problem," Reid pointed out matter-of-factly, just as the light changed.
"How is that our problem?" asked Luke.
"Really?" Reid asked, casting a glance at Luke that clearly explained how stupid that questions had been. "We've been struggling for months, Luke. You really think that having no time for each other didn't put an even tougher strain on things?"
A sigh fell from Luke's quivering lips and he looked away.
"We're both screwed up, so it's not like I ever expected this relationship to be perfect," Reid explained plainly. "But I didn't expect us to just let it fall apart, either."
"That's not what we're doing!" Luke said defensively.
"Really? Because most days it sure feels that way. Hell, we can't even handle your ex coming to town with completely falling apart!"
"What does Noah have to do with any of this, Reid?" Luke said sharply.
"Again with the stupid questions," Reid said, rolling his eyes. "When Noah was here for Thanksgiving, we were fine. We didn't fight about it and the only thing we worried about was trying to arrange the seating order so that stupid squash would hide me from his view. We knew it would be awkward but we never even considered that it would affect our relationship, and we'd only been together for a few months. Now, after a year together, Wonder Boy shows up while we're in the middle of this…hurdle, or whatever the hell you want to call it, and just like that we fall back into the way things were before we first got together. You're torn between spending time with him and being with me, I'm trapped in this obnoxious cycle of anger and jealousy, which I'm not admitting to by the way," Reid said boldly. "And the sad thing is, this has nothing to do with Noah," he added, making Luke look up.
"What are you talking about?"
Reid decided not to make fun of his question this time, knowing it wasn't worth it. He took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts before jumping into the meat of things.
"I'm not afraid that you're going to go running off to Noah," said Reid. He paused and then let out a shaky sigh. "Honestly, Luke? I'm just waiting for the morning that I wake up and find that you've left for good."
His words hung like daggers threatening to fall. Luke's eyes were wide with shock, his breath catching in his throat. Reid's lips were tightly pressed together and he, too, was struggling to breathe.
A moment later they pulled up to their apartment building.
They went inside and began to turn on the lights without speaking. Luke pulled off his tie as he walked in, passing the bedroom and tossing it onto the bed before turning back and coming toward the couch. Reid lingered in the doorway, watching Luke carefully. It was obvious that Luke didn't want to talk, and Reid was in no mood to force a conversation. His head hung sadly. He dropped his keys into the dish on the table beside the door, silently wandering into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.
Author: SERipley
Original Posting: FanFiction.net [pleeeease leave reviews on this site as well for me!]
Rating: G/K
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, gosh darnit.
Summary: Luke and Reid hit a bump in the road on a day that should be full of happiness.
Notes: Enjoyyy. <3
Chapter 7
Reid never did finish his second beer. In the end he wandered into the living room he'd been in more times than he could count, but he couldn't remember taking the time to actually look around. On the mantel about the fireplace were an assortment of pictures, all crammed together in Emma's obvious attempt to never take one down once she'd put it up. He laughed a little at the pictures of Lily and Holden as teenagers and Luke as a little kid covered in mud. A picture in the back caught his eye and his hand paused over it before finally picking it up and holding it before him. It was of Thanksgiving, probably four years ago, Reid guessed. The Snyder family was gathered around the table. Luke sat near the front of the image. He looked so young, Reid thought, so carefree and happy. Beside him was Noah, their hands tightly linked together on the table. Reid felt his stomach turn and quickly put the picture back.
His eyes grazed the rest of the photos as he started to turn away, intent on leaving, when another picture managed to grab his attention. It was at the far end of the mantel but at the front. The frame was rustic, just like the rest, but it was obviously a newer picture. The picture quality was better, for one, but the thing that really gave it away was the fact that Reid was in it.
He stared at it for a few minutes, dropping down into one of the chairs. It was a picture from Christmas. He couldn't remember this being taken, he realized, though that wasn't surprising. The picture was slightly crooked and taken from a low angle. He assumed it was probably taken by Ethan, who had been snapping pictures on his new Disney camera all evening. The main focus of the picture was Lily and Faith, who were laughing at something, apparently Holden, who looked confused but in a good way. Reid didn't pay attention to any of that, though, instead staring at the background of the picture. Luke was sitting on the couch, looking in on the scene and laughing along. Reid sat beside him, legs casually crossed and their hands slung lazily together. Reid was staring at Luke with complete awe, drinking in the beauty of his smile.
Reid suddenly felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He realized painfully that things had changed more than he cared to admit. He couldn't remember the last time he'd looked at Luke that way. He knew he'd stared in awe at Luke's happiness earlier, but he remembered the pain that was strung alongside that bliss. He also couldn't remember the last time they'd held hands just because they felt like it and not because one of them was trying to literally hold onto the other.
Life with Luke had been one hell of the rollercoaster the past year, but Reid didn't regret a moment of it. They'd started dating in early August after more drama and chaos that Reid cared to remember. Noah left for California around that time, giving Luke and Reid the chance they needed to truly fall for each other. Reid could remember perfectly the day they moved into their own apartment. It was late November, just before Thanksgiving. They were eating takeout on the floor of their empty living room, talking and laughing the night away. Luke had thrown a roll at him after a rather crude comment, which had led to a minor food fight and cascaded into Reid chasing the amazingly quick Luke around the apartment for almost ten minute before he finally managed to tackle him to the floor. Reid could remember Luke's flushed cheeks, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath him as Reid pinned him to the floor. They'd stayed like that for a minute, just staring and smiling, before Reid finally rolled over and laid beside Luke on the carpet.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, Dr. Oliver," Luke had said with a smile, reaching out to tenderly run his hands through Reid's hair. Reid hadn't expected that at all. They'd been together for a few months, and yes, they now lived together as well, but they had never really talked about love. He knew he'd worried Luke with his startled expression when the blond pulled his hand away. Reid laughed softly, grabbing his hand quickly and pulling it to his face, kissing it gently.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, too, Mr. Snyder," Reid had admitted. He'd been nervous at first, but the look on Luke's face made him feel more confident than he'd ever been in his life. They laid like that for hours, kissing and holding each other close before falling asleep. It wasn't quite the way either of them had imagined spending their first night alone in their own place, but Reid wouldn't change it for anything.
Back in the present, Reid sighed, slowly rising to his feet and replacing the photo on the mantel.
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"I'm sorry, I just, I can't do this right now," Luke declared, staggering to his feet.
"Luke, wait, at least let me walk you back," Noah insisted, standing up and moving after him.
"It's alright, I'll be fine."
"C'mon, Luke. Did I say something wrong?" Noah called. Luke stopped and looked back at Noah, trying to smile but failing miserably.
"No, it's nothing you said. I just think I need to work this out with Reid, or on my own," Luke began, searching for the right words.
"Just not with me," Noah said for him. He was frowning, hands finding his pockets again.
Luke frowned as well, hesitating to answer. "Yeah, not with you," he finally said.
"I get it, Luke. Really, I do," said Noah. "Just promise me something," he said. Luke paused. "Don't let yourself be miserable, one way or another."
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Luke made his way up to the house with little trouble. His vision was a little off and he stumbled more than once, but he knew this property better than anywhere else on earth and was able to manage his way back without any real difficulty. He stumbled into the kitchen, feeling more depressed than when he'd left Noah. The entire walk back he kept going over the events of the day, the events of the past few weeks, trying to pinpoint when things had changed between them. He couldn't find a specific moment but he knew it was recent. The tension had been building for a few weeks now and Luke couldn't deny it any longer. He'd come home to the apartment to find that Reid wasn't there and he'd wake the following morning to the same thing. The first few times he'd at least found a note on the pillow or had a text from Reid telling him he'd be late. Now he awoke to nothing and come home to nothing.
Once in the kitchen Luke didn't hesitate to rummage through the fridge, pulling out two more beers and bringing them with him to the table. He stared at them for the longest time. Finally he gave up on the staring match and grabbed up both beers, returning them to the fridge and pouring himself a large glass of water. He was only a little tipsy and knew that a few glasses of water and a bit of time would have him feeling good as new. He dropped into the chair again, leaning on the table with a staggered sigh. His eyes fell shut, face twisting in pain, too frustrated and equally exhausted to deal with any of this.
Down the hall, Reid sat on the couch in the family room, remembering that evening and wishing more than anything that he could go back to that evening and the way things had one been.
Chapter 8
It was seven o'clock and the sky had taken on more red than blue. It was beautiful outside, the breeze was warm, and everything was going seemingly perfectly for Lily and Holden. Little did they know that up at the house their son, with alcohol in his system and torment etched onto his face, was slowly falling apart.
The majority of the guests had left by now, mostly family members and those actually living at the house still lingering around, enjoying a few more drinks and dancing carelessly as the sun went down. Aaron and Marnie said goodbye to the newly remarried couple, promising to be back in the morning for breakfast before Lily and Holden left for their honeymoon.
"I just have to grab something from the house," Aaron told Marnie as they approached the gravel lot still filled with cars. He kissed her cheek and sent her off to the car while he jogged up to the house, welcoming himself into the kitchen as he had done a million times.
Inside he found his blond haired brother, slumped over and supporting his head with his arm, eyes closed. For a moment Aaron wasn't even sure he was conscious.
"Luke?"
Luke looked up, his eyes so red and his lips turned so sharply into a frown that Aaron knew immediately that he'd been crying. Luke didn't even bother trying to hide it, either. Aaron came over immediately, crouching down beside his younger brother and putting a hand on his back.
"Hey, are you alright?" he asked. Luke sighed, and Aaron got a whiff of his breath. "Have you been drinking?" he asked loudly, staring at Luke in disbelief. Luke looked away, neither admitting nor denying the accusation. Aaron frowned, watching his brother with concern. "What were you thinking, Luke?" he asked carefully.
"I was thinking that everything is falling to pieces and that I deserved a few damn beers," Luke said bitterly, pulling away from his brother and standing abruptly. Aaron stood as well, following Luke across the room.
"Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? Especially from you?" said Aaron, not caring right now if he hurt his brother's feelings; he was still too concerned with Luke's medical health to focus on his mental health.
"Yes, Aaron, I know how stupid it was. I have one kidney and a crappy one at that. I already got this lecture from Noah, I don't need it from you, too," Luke shouted.
"Never thought I'd say this but maybe Mr. Mayer has a point," came a third voice. Luke turned, eyes wildly hurt to see Reid standing in the doorway of the kitchen from the hall. He looked worried and angry but most of all, he looked disappointed. Luke's face fell further and he wasn't sure he could handle it anymore.
"I'll let you two talk," Aaron said simply, skirting around them both and heading up the stairs, already planning to find a different way out of the house.
Reid stood quietly, weary eyes focused on Luke who was staring back with just as much pain and exhaustion.
"Go ahead, say it," Luke said, obviously feeling defeated.
"Say what?" asked Reid.
"You know what! You know you want to rip into me just like everyone else," Luke shouted. Reid said nothing at first, mouth hanging open a little in shock.
"Is that what you want? For me to start yelling at you?"
Luke stared at him for a moment before dropping his eyes.
"I was in the other room and I heard Aaron come in and start talking to you. I wasn't going to come in, but when I heard him say that you'd been drinking…" Reid trailed off, shaking his head. "I knew I had to come and make sure you were alright. That's why I'm standing here, Luke. Not to yell at your or to put you down. Noah and your brother have already done that enough for one day. I just needed to see that you were okay."
Luke stared at Reid, completely surprised by his words. He'd truly been expecting Reid to be furious with him and to start explaining all the medical reasons that drinking was a boneheaded move for him. Guilt suddenly crept inside him, hating that he hadn't had more faith in Reid.
"Come on, let me take you home before your parents see you like that," said Reid, his voice tired. He pursed his lips together and dug in his pocket for the keys. Luke said nothing, silently following him out the back door.
"Yeah, I found him nearly passed out at the house, it's been a long day for him, so I figured I'd just get him home. He'll be there for breakfast tomorrow, though," Reid was saying into his cell phone as they turned off the gravel drive onto the main road. Luke could hear his father's voice on the other end. "We'll see, depends on if I get called in or not," Reid continued and Luke knew that Holden was asking if he'd be there too. "Alright, sounds good. Congrats again, by the way," Reid concluded. A moment later he was hanging up the phone and dropping it into the cup holder beside him.
"I could have talked to them myself," said Luke.
"You're not exactly a good liar, Luke, especially when you're under the influence," Reid said as gently as he could. It still hit a nerve with Luke. Reid turned to him, frowning to see his boyfriend leaning on the door and staring out the window. He looked back to the road.
"Why were you drinking, Luke?" he asked in as flat of a tone as he could manage. Luke barely stirred.
"Seemed like a pretty good option at the time," the blond said quietly. Reid frowned.
"Talk to me, Luke."
"Why should I, Reid? I tried to talk to you before and you just kept blowing me off. Hell, I've tried talking to you for weeks and every time I try to talk about our future and our relationship you change the subject," Luke said loudly, making Reid flinch.
"I'm sorry. I know, I haven't been the most cooperative person lately," began Reid.
"That's for damn sure," Luke said bitterly. Reid flinched again.
Reid took a deep breath, trying to keep his famous temper under wraps.
"Did you ever think that maybe it's because I wasn't ready to talk about that yet? To discuss what we'd be doing in a year let alone in five or ten? Or that I've been just as confused these past few weeks about where we stand as you've been?" asked Reid as they pulled up to a red light. He took the opportunity to look at Luke, the seriousness of his question evident in his face. "I can't explain why we've been off the past few weeks any more than you can, Luke."
"Maybe if you would just talk to me we could figure it out," Luke began. Reid shook his head, his face twisting in disbelief.
"Since when have you known me to be the talking type?" he asked first. "And when the hell were we suppose to talk about it, Luke? Over the ten minutes we get at breakfast, or at night when we're both exhausted, assuming we're both home at the same time at all? I'm not blaming anyone here, but we're both been busy as hell lately; you with the foundation's latest projects and me with getting this neurology wing off the ground. We never take the same day off or take lunch breaks together or set aside an evening just for us anymore, which, by the way, is half our problem," Reid pointed out matter-of-factly, just as the light changed.
"How is that our problem?" asked Luke.
"Really?" Reid asked, casting a glance at Luke that clearly explained how stupid that questions had been. "We've been struggling for months, Luke. You really think that having no time for each other didn't put an even tougher strain on things?"
A sigh fell from Luke's quivering lips and he looked away.
"We're both screwed up, so it's not like I ever expected this relationship to be perfect," Reid explained plainly. "But I didn't expect us to just let it fall apart, either."
"That's not what we're doing!" Luke said defensively.
"Really? Because most days it sure feels that way. Hell, we can't even handle your ex coming to town with completely falling apart!"
"What does Noah have to do with any of this, Reid?" Luke said sharply.
"Again with the stupid questions," Reid said, rolling his eyes. "When Noah was here for Thanksgiving, we were fine. We didn't fight about it and the only thing we worried about was trying to arrange the seating order so that stupid squash would hide me from his view. We knew it would be awkward but we never even considered that it would affect our relationship, and we'd only been together for a few months. Now, after a year together, Wonder Boy shows up while we're in the middle of this…hurdle, or whatever the hell you want to call it, and just like that we fall back into the way things were before we first got together. You're torn between spending time with him and being with me, I'm trapped in this obnoxious cycle of anger and jealousy, which I'm not admitting to by the way," Reid said boldly. "And the sad thing is, this has nothing to do with Noah," he added, making Luke look up.
"What are you talking about?"
Reid decided not to make fun of his question this time, knowing it wasn't worth it. He took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts before jumping into the meat of things.
"I'm not afraid that you're going to go running off to Noah," said Reid. He paused and then let out a shaky sigh. "Honestly, Luke? I'm just waiting for the morning that I wake up and find that you've left for good."
His words hung like daggers threatening to fall. Luke's eyes were wide with shock, his breath catching in his throat. Reid's lips were tightly pressed together and he, too, was struggling to breathe.
A moment later they pulled up to their apartment building.
They went inside and began to turn on the lights without speaking. Luke pulled off his tie as he walked in, passing the bedroom and tossing it onto the bed before turning back and coming toward the couch. Reid lingered in the doorway, watching Luke carefully. It was obvious that Luke didn't want to talk, and Reid was in no mood to force a conversation. His head hung sadly. He dropped his keys into the dish on the table beside the door, silently wandering into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.