Fic: Got Sin? (5/?)
Media: Fic
Title: Got Sin?
Author: slayerkitty
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid, Damian/Lily, Eventual Holden/Lily, Past Katie/Brad
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
Warnings: Exploration of Religion (particularly Catholicism) and Atheism, homophobia (From other characters as well as religious beliefs and some internalized homophobia), violence, mild (currently, but subject to change) blood/gore, Characters impersonating religious figures
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Through Sept 2nd, 2010 to be safe (but this is AU, so no real spoilers)
Word Count: This chapter: 1,011 /Total: 16,077(so far)
Disclaimer: ATWT and its characters are not mine. I'm just playing with them.
Summary: There's no religion that can save me, no matter how long my knees are on the floor.
Author’s Note: I came up with this random idea to do a LuRe seven dead sins fic. In the course of trying to figure it out, the fic suddenly mutated into what you see now. I have no idea what possessed me (hah!) to write this, but the idea won't let me go. PLEASE, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS - if you think something in this fic might offend you in some way, please don't read it. Summary is from “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars.
Thanks to alissablue for being an awesome beta. Also thanks to erikssiren for helping me out with the Catholicism related items.
Previous Chapters: 1/ 2/ 3/ 4
There, but for the grace of God go I, and when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die - I’m Not Calling You A Liar, Florence and the Machine
“Father Daniels?” Reid turned around, hearing Luke’s voice behind him. His eyes widened in surprise at seeing Luke in the doorway to his room.
“Luke, it’s late. You shouldn’t be here,” Reid replied, licking his lips. Luke could not be here. He would blow Reid’s cover, because priests were celibate and if Luke walked into his room, Reid had pretty damned good idea of what would happen.
“I needed someone to talk to,” Luke murmured. “You were the first person I thought of.” Luke moved closer, and Reid sucked in a deep breath.
Okay, he could do this. Nothing inappropriate had to happen here.
“What’s up?” Reid asked. Luke came to a stop before him.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Luke whispered. “It’s like you’ve bewitched me.”
“Luke, you don’t mean that,” Reid tried to protest.
“I do,” Luke insisted. “I’m so tired of fighting what I am, Father.” He moved closer, and Reid willed himself to back away, to no avail. Reid couldn’t have moved if he’d actually tried.
“What about being an ‘abomination’?” Reid asked.
“What about giving into my urges?” Luke countered, and Reid flinched as his words from the other day came back to haunt him.
“Luke, you don’t want to do this,” Reid said, as Luke reached out a trembling and stroked Reid’s bicep through his shirt.
“I think I have to,” Luke replied quietly. “Or I’ll never… know.”
“Luke, think about this rationally,” Reid protested, Luke’s hand stroking along his jawline now.
“I can see that you want me too,” Luke told him. “I know that it’s wrong, but if you feel this way too, then maybe I’m not such a lost cause.”
“No, Luke, we can’t do this,” Reid tried to step away, but Luke wouldn’t let him.
“Kiss me,” Luke urged, his face tilting slightly, his lips parted. “You know you want to.”
“Luke, I-"
“I can feel how much you want it,” Luke murmured, and the air practically vibrated with tension. “Just let go,” Luke smirked, “And let God.”
Oh, Fuck.
Reid rationalized that he was simply a man.
To err was only human. Luke’s tongue darted out and passed over his lips.
“Since I’m going to Hell,” Reid muttered, holding Luke tightly and descending on him like a plague, moaning when their lips touched.
It had been too long, and Luke was… Luke. He was sweet and innocent, and far too trusting. Luke, who was shaking apart in his arms.
Reid sat straight up in bed, his heart racing. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath. Luke’s name reverberated in his head with every beat of his heart.
He cradled his head in his hands and sighed.
Reid knew he was fucked.
*
Reid decided a long walk through the garden would help take his mind of things. At the very least, it would get him out of the company of the other men at the church, which was definitely a good thing.
He didn’t expect Luke to come and find him there.
“Hello, Father,” Luke greeted. Reid jumped at the sound of Luke’s voice and then rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.
“Hello, Luke,” Reid forced out. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he turned around, knowing if he gave himself any purchase he would take Luke into his arms and have him for his own, destroying Luke in the process. He was taken aback by Luke’s bloodshot eyes.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes,” Luke smiled wanly, “And no. Just some… family troubles.”
“Anything I can help with?” Reid found himself asking. He had no idea what it was about this young man that had gotten under his skin.
“No,” Luke replied. “It’ll work out the way it’s meant too. It’s in God’s hands.” Reid resisted the urge to snort, but his expression must have given him away. “You don’t agree?”
Reid paused for a moment, trying to decide. “Let’s just say that I’m not always so certain of God.”
“You are by far the oddest priest I have ever met,” Luke told him. “How can you not believe in God?”
“I’m having a crisis of faith, so to speak,” Reid finally said. “I was sent here to reaffirm myself, but I don’t think it’s working out.”
“How terrible,” Luke said quietly. “Surely you can feel His presence.”
“I haven’t felt God in a very long time,” Reid replied. In fact, I don’t believe he exists. You should try it.
“Then I shall endeavor to help you,” Luke smiled.
“Help me?”
“Find your faith, Father,” Luke answered. “Maybe that is my purpose now.”
“I thought I was supposed to be the one helping you,” Reid countered.
“Perhaps we can help each other.”
*
Father Daniels was silent for a long moment, and Luciano took that time to study him intently. He made so much more sense now - the things he’d said and done in the past few days since their introduction.
Luciano hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. Father Daniels existence plagued Luciano’s every waking thought. Some of the thoughts were not good. They were not thoughts Luciano should be having and he knew it but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Prayer, his tried and true past time at solving that problem, wasn’t helping either.
He was desperate to try something else. Maybe if the mystery that was Father Timothy Daniels was unraveled, then those thoughts would disappear. Luciano was desperate. He’d try anything.
“What kind of help are you proposing?” Father Daniels asked. His voice was low and rough, and Luciano didn’t know what to make of it, except that it sent a shiver down his spine.
“Simply that we spend time together,” Luciano replied, his throat suddenly dry. “Perhaps together we can find your faith.”
“Okay.” Father Daniels nodded after a long moment. “What happened to calling me Tim? Calling me Father makes me think… well, it’s…”
“Tim,” Luke repeated. “Right.” He felt something curling deep inside as he said Tim’s name.
“Will you have time this afternoon?” Tim nodded after a long moment.
“I’m not allowed to do much here,” Tim admitted. “They do not trust my… insecurities, and that keeps me from being involved in several activities.”
“That seems counterproductive,” Luke replied, but didn’t think too much on it. Who was he to question the church? “This afternoon then.”
“I’ll be here.”
Luciano smiled but couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d just stepped into the lion’s den.
Title: Got Sin?
Author: slayerkitty
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid, Damian/Lily, Eventual Holden/Lily, Past Katie/Brad
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
Warnings: Exploration of Religion (particularly Catholicism) and Atheism, homophobia (From other characters as well as religious beliefs and some internalized homophobia), violence, mild (currently, but subject to change) blood/gore, Characters impersonating religious figures
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Through Sept 2nd, 2010 to be safe (but this is AU, so no real spoilers)
Word Count: This chapter: 1,011 /Total: 16,077(so far)
Disclaimer: ATWT and its characters are not mine. I'm just playing with them.
Summary: There's no religion that can save me, no matter how long my knees are on the floor.
Author’s Note: I came up with this random idea to do a LuRe seven dead sins fic. In the course of trying to figure it out, the fic suddenly mutated into what you see now. I have no idea what possessed me (hah!) to write this, but the idea won't let me go. PLEASE, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS - if you think something in this fic might offend you in some way, please don't read it. Summary is from “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars.
Thanks to alissablue for being an awesome beta. Also thanks to erikssiren for helping me out with the Catholicism related items.
Previous Chapters: 1/ 2/ 3/ 4
There, but for the grace of God go I, and when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die - I’m Not Calling You A Liar, Florence and the Machine
“Father Daniels?” Reid turned around, hearing Luke’s voice behind him. His eyes widened in surprise at seeing Luke in the doorway to his room.
“Luke, it’s late. You shouldn’t be here,” Reid replied, licking his lips. Luke could not be here. He would blow Reid’s cover, because priests were celibate and if Luke walked into his room, Reid had pretty damned good idea of what would happen.
“I needed someone to talk to,” Luke murmured. “You were the first person I thought of.” Luke moved closer, and Reid sucked in a deep breath.
Okay, he could do this. Nothing inappropriate had to happen here.
“What’s up?” Reid asked. Luke came to a stop before him.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Luke whispered. “It’s like you’ve bewitched me.”
“Luke, you don’t mean that,” Reid tried to protest.
“I do,” Luke insisted. “I’m so tired of fighting what I am, Father.” He moved closer, and Reid willed himself to back away, to no avail. Reid couldn’t have moved if he’d actually tried.
“What about being an ‘abomination’?” Reid asked.
“What about giving into my urges?” Luke countered, and Reid flinched as his words from the other day came back to haunt him.
“Luke, you don’t want to do this,” Reid said, as Luke reached out a trembling and stroked Reid’s bicep through his shirt.
“I think I have to,” Luke replied quietly. “Or I’ll never… know.”
“Luke, think about this rationally,” Reid protested, Luke’s hand stroking along his jawline now.
“I can see that you want me too,” Luke told him. “I know that it’s wrong, but if you feel this way too, then maybe I’m not such a lost cause.”
“No, Luke, we can’t do this,” Reid tried to step away, but Luke wouldn’t let him.
“Kiss me,” Luke urged, his face tilting slightly, his lips parted. “You know you want to.”
“Luke, I-"
“I can feel how much you want it,” Luke murmured, and the air practically vibrated with tension. “Just let go,” Luke smirked, “And let God.”
Oh, Fuck.
Reid rationalized that he was simply a man.
To err was only human. Luke’s tongue darted out and passed over his lips.
“Since I’m going to Hell,” Reid muttered, holding Luke tightly and descending on him like a plague, moaning when their lips touched.
It had been too long, and Luke was… Luke. He was sweet and innocent, and far too trusting. Luke, who was shaking apart in his arms.
Reid sat straight up in bed, his heart racing. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath. Luke’s name reverberated in his head with every beat of his heart.
He cradled his head in his hands and sighed.
Reid knew he was fucked.
*
Reid decided a long walk through the garden would help take his mind of things. At the very least, it would get him out of the company of the other men at the church, which was definitely a good thing.
He didn’t expect Luke to come and find him there.
“Hello, Father,” Luke greeted. Reid jumped at the sound of Luke’s voice and then rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.
“Hello, Luke,” Reid forced out. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he turned around, knowing if he gave himself any purchase he would take Luke into his arms and have him for his own, destroying Luke in the process. He was taken aback by Luke’s bloodshot eyes.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes,” Luke smiled wanly, “And no. Just some… family troubles.”
“Anything I can help with?” Reid found himself asking. He had no idea what it was about this young man that had gotten under his skin.
“No,” Luke replied. “It’ll work out the way it’s meant too. It’s in God’s hands.” Reid resisted the urge to snort, but his expression must have given him away. “You don’t agree?”
Reid paused for a moment, trying to decide. “Let’s just say that I’m not always so certain of God.”
“You are by far the oddest priest I have ever met,” Luke told him. “How can you not believe in God?”
“I’m having a crisis of faith, so to speak,” Reid finally said. “I was sent here to reaffirm myself, but I don’t think it’s working out.”
“How terrible,” Luke said quietly. “Surely you can feel His presence.”
“I haven’t felt God in a very long time,” Reid replied. In fact, I don’t believe he exists. You should try it.
“Then I shall endeavor to help you,” Luke smiled.
“Help me?”
“Find your faith, Father,” Luke answered. “Maybe that is my purpose now.”
“I thought I was supposed to be the one helping you,” Reid countered.
“Perhaps we can help each other.”
*
Father Daniels was silent for a long moment, and Luciano took that time to study him intently. He made so much more sense now - the things he’d said and done in the past few days since their introduction.
Luciano hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. Father Daniels existence plagued Luciano’s every waking thought. Some of the thoughts were not good. They were not thoughts Luciano should be having and he knew it but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Prayer, his tried and true past time at solving that problem, wasn’t helping either.
He was desperate to try something else. Maybe if the mystery that was Father Timothy Daniels was unraveled, then those thoughts would disappear. Luciano was desperate. He’d try anything.
“What kind of help are you proposing?” Father Daniels asked. His voice was low and rough, and Luciano didn’t know what to make of it, except that it sent a shiver down his spine.
“Simply that we spend time together,” Luciano replied, his throat suddenly dry. “Perhaps together we can find your faith.”
“Okay.” Father Daniels nodded after a long moment. “What happened to calling me Tim? Calling me Father makes me think… well, it’s…”
“Tim,” Luke repeated. “Right.” He felt something curling deep inside as he said Tim’s name.
“Will you have time this afternoon?” Tim nodded after a long moment.
“I’m not allowed to do much here,” Tim admitted. “They do not trust my… insecurities, and that keeps me from being involved in several activities.”
“That seems counterproductive,” Luke replied, but didn’t think too much on it. Who was he to question the church? “This afternoon then.”
“I’ll be here.”
Luciano smiled but couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d just stepped into the lion’s den.