Fic: No More Love
Title: No More Love
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU
Warnings: Slight Noah bashing, Implied Douche!Noah, Angst like woah, Character Death (not Luke or Reid)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through the end of the show to be safe.
Characters: Luke/Reid, Past Luke/Noah, Implied Katie/Chris
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: Reid was gone...and it was all his fault.
Author's Note: So today is my lovely wife's birthday. I asked her to send me a fic prompt, and this is the result. Happy Birthday, stl29tide, I hope you like it! Prompt at the end of the fic and title is from the song "One Less Bell to Answer".
"Is it always going to be like this?" Reid asked, his voice sounding hoarse and a little broken. "Because it if is..." Reid swallowed hard. Luke could only stare at him in shock. "I have to get out of here." And with that, Reid picked up his coat and his keys and then he was just gone.
It took a moment for Luke to catch up, for him to process what happened. He stumbled to the door, his brain and his legs still in some kind of disconnect, his chest aching with a familiar pressure threatening to overwhelm him. He wrenched the door to his and Reid's apartment open, and shouted with desperation into the hallway.
"Reid!" His voice echoed into the hallway, but there was no reply, only the sound of the elevator dinging from down the hall, as it moved on to the next floor.
The pain in his chest blossomed into agony, and then he was gasping for air. Somehow, he forced himself to turn around and go back inside the apartment. The door shut behind him with a loud click, and it was as if a bomb went off. A sob tore from Luke's throat, and he leaned against the heavy oak door, the wood texture rough against his back as he slid to the floor. He tried to bite his lip, to hold it in, but it was no use. His chest heaved with emotion, and he choked out a cry.
Reid was gone...and it was all his fault.
*
Somehow, Luke didn't remember how, he managed to find his ( their ) bed and lie down. He didn't sleep though. He couldn't. Every time his eyes drifted shut, he'd see Reid's face: the anger, the pain, how Reid had just turned and walked away from him. The image was like getting a jolt from a battery, leaving sleep unattainable, and Luke unable to do anything but let the night replay over and over in his head.
It was hard to imagine that earlier today, before he'd come home, he'd been the happiest he'd ever been in his whole life.
After the incident a month ago, where Reid was nearly hit and killed by a train in an attempt to get the dearly departed Dr. Chris Hughes a heart, Luke and Reid had been nearly insepearble. They'd gone from declaring their love, to falling into bed at the first available moment, to moving in together.
Looking back, maybe they should have waited. Maybe they weren't ready. Pangs of guilt ate at the lining of Luke's stomach. He'd been the one to push for it. To insist, once Katie had packed her and Jacob's things to move in with Margo, that he and Reid get a place of their own.
Reid had eventually given in, with a warning that he was 'difficult to live with'.
Luke nearly snorted, remembering. That had been an understatement.
Reid was a nightmare to live with. Luke had no idea how Katie had done it. Maybe, perhaps, because she wasn't sharing a bedroom with him.
It started small. Little things that Reid would do, things that were slightly annoying when they happened the first time, and then grew and festered until Luke just snapped.
Like how Reid's socks never seemed to make it in the dirty clothes hamper. They often made it next to the hamper, but failed to actually make it inside. Or how Reid's toothbrush had to be in the left slot of the holder, always facing left. How Reid left his sopping wet towels on the the bed, how he was incapable of operating the washing machine.
How he was never home.
Luke's throat clenched tightly and his eyes burned once again with tears.
And so Luke had snapped, calling Reid out for all the things he deemed wrong in their relationship.
It wasn't a surprise at all when Reid didn't come home.
Reid was gone...and it was very much his fault.
*
Somehow, Luke forced himself up and into the shower in the morning. He barely felt the water on his skin, going through the motions mechanically. The rest of his day followed in similar fashion, before his grandmother's secrtary had declared him useless and sent him home.
He entered the apartment and stopped dead. Reid was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer.
"You - you're here," Luke managed to get out. He wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him, making him see the one thing he wanted most.
"I live here," Reid said, making it seem as if it should be obvious.
Luke stared at him for a long moment and then nodded.
"I'll get my things and be out your way," Luke whispered, moving past Reid toward the bedroom. He hurried into their (Reid's) room, grabbing his suitcase from the walk-in closet. He'd begun blindly throwing things into it when Reid's voice reached his ears.
"Hold the phone." Reid sounded confused. "What's going on here?"
"This is your place," Luke muttered. "Rightly so. I'll be out of your way in a minute." He shut the lid on his suitcase when it was full and zipped it shut.
"Luke, what are you-" Luke tried to brush past him, but Reid grabbed his arm, halting Luke in his tracks. "Will you stop?!" Reid shouted. Luke couldn't bring himself to look at Reid's face. "Tell me what's going on."
Something inside Luke broke again.
"I'm sorry," he gasped out through tears that were once again making their way down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Reid."
"What did you do?" Reid asked, still sounding unsure. "I'm the ass in this relationship."
Relationship.
The word reverberated in Luke's head, his eyes snapping up to meet Reid's in surprise.
"But I thought-" Now Luke was confused.
"You thought what, Luke?" Reid asked softly.
"You left," Luke accused. "You just left."
"I didn't want to say something I couldn't take back," Reid admitted. "You-you seem to have this ability to make me so angry I can't see straight."
"I don't mean to," Luke replied. "I don't."
"I know that," Reid was still talking quietly. "What don't you tell me that this is about?"
"I thought that it was over," Luke wasn't sure Reid had hear him, he'd uttered the words in a barely audible tone.
"Is that why-" Reid stopped mid-sentence. "You thought after all we've been through, that I could just walk away?" Incredulity filled his voice. Luke swallowed hard.
"I didn't know what else to think," Luke replied, feeling defensive. "You didn't come home."
"I got paged," Reid explained. "And it was late, so I crashed in the on call room. I should have called."
"Yes, you should have." Luke was shaking now, unsure what to think or to feel. He wanted to believe Reid, but past experience had taught him that things like this did not work out for the best. Try as he may, Luke Snyder always found a way to screw things up.
That's who he was.
"And I'm sorry about that," Reid told him. Luke felt his eyebrows raise at Reid's words. Reid was apologizing? "And I'm sorry about all the things that I do or don't do around here that drive you nuts," he continued. "I warned you I'm not easy to live with - but I'm willing to make an effort, because you're...important."
Luke was sure he looking like a fish breathing under water, his breath coming in pants and his mouth hanging open.
"But first, we need to talk about this." Reid nudged the suitcase Luke was still holding with his knee. Luke's fingers had wrapped so tightly around the handle they'd started to go numb. Reid managed to pry the handle from his fingers and set it in the door way to their room. He led Luke into the living room and set him on the couch, before going into their kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Luke eyed the bottle of beer sitting on the coffee table where Reid must have left it. He immediately averted his eyes. He didn't need it. He'd made it through the entire night before without a single drop, simply because he hadn't been able to bear the thought of Reid coming home and finding him that way.
"I need you to tell me what's going through your head," Reid urged, handing him the water and sitting down next to him on the couch. "Great as I am, I'm still unable to actually read minds."
"It was my fault," Luke finally said. "I shouldn't have picked a fight with you, and when you left..." Luke trailed off, pausing before he could resume speaking. "I figured it was over."
"So you've said." Reid's eyes bore into him with instensity. "But why would you think that? It was just a stupid fight, Luke. Couples have them all the time."
"Because...that's, that's how it's always been," Luke finally managed to get out.
"You're telling me this...mess...is because of Noah?" Reid's voice went a little higher when he spoke Noah's name, putting things together. Luke met Reid's gaze helplessly. "You idiot." And there was Reid's hand, lightly carressing Luke's cheek. He leaned into instintively, enjoying the feeling of Reid's incredibly soft hands against his day old stubble. "It's going to take a hell of a lot more for you to get rid of me," Reid told him. "And a hell of a lot more for me to let you go."
Luke let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"You mean it?" he asked, searching for reassurance. Reid leaned forward and kissed his lips gently.
"You'd know if I didn't," Reid said against his lips. His kiss became more insistent, and Luke was powerless to follow. Reid maneuvered them so that Luke was lying on his back along the couch, with Reid hovering over him. Their eyes locked and Luke shivered at the emotion he saw there. "I'm not him," Reid murmured. "I'm never going to be him."
For the first time since he and Reid had started dating, Luke truly believed it.
"I love you," Luke gasped out, pulling Reid in for another kiss. He didn't need to hear Reid say it back.
He already knew.
********************************************
Prompt: Can we do like....first big fight LuRe. And Reid says something then leaves and Luke takes his past experience with Noah and thinks that, that was Reid's way of breaking up with him, cue really sad lost Luke and then the next day runs into Reid who's awkward but only because he's never really apologized and Luke's trying to put on a brave face but it's obvious he's falling apart and then he says something and Reid realizes he thinks they broke up and Reid sets him straight much to Luke's relief and says that he's not Noah and sometimes he's going to be an ass or sometimes Luke's going to do something that Reid won't necessarily agree with but he's in this thing more so than anything else., etc. I just want sulky sad face Luke, then happy thank God I love him and he loves me (really loves me) Luke.
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU
Warnings: Slight Noah bashing, Implied Douche!Noah, Angst like woah, Character Death (not Luke or Reid)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through the end of the show to be safe.
Characters: Luke/Reid, Past Luke/Noah, Implied Katie/Chris
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: Reid was gone...and it was all his fault.
Author's Note: So today is my lovely wife's birthday. I asked her to send me a fic prompt, and this is the result. Happy Birthday, stl29tide, I hope you like it! Prompt at the end of the fic and title is from the song "One Less Bell to Answer".
"Is it always going to be like this?" Reid asked, his voice sounding hoarse and a little broken. "Because it if is..." Reid swallowed hard. Luke could only stare at him in shock. "I have to get out of here." And with that, Reid picked up his coat and his keys and then he was just gone.
It took a moment for Luke to catch up, for him to process what happened. He stumbled to the door, his brain and his legs still in some kind of disconnect, his chest aching with a familiar pressure threatening to overwhelm him. He wrenched the door to his and Reid's apartment open, and shouted with desperation into the hallway.
"Reid!" His voice echoed into the hallway, but there was no reply, only the sound of the elevator dinging from down the hall, as it moved on to the next floor.
The pain in his chest blossomed into agony, and then he was gasping for air. Somehow, he forced himself to turn around and go back inside the apartment. The door shut behind him with a loud click, and it was as if a bomb went off. A sob tore from Luke's throat, and he leaned against the heavy oak door, the wood texture rough against his back as he slid to the floor. He tried to bite his lip, to hold it in, but it was no use. His chest heaved with emotion, and he choked out a cry.
Reid was gone...and it was all his fault.
*
Somehow, Luke didn't remember how, he managed to find his ( their ) bed and lie down. He didn't sleep though. He couldn't. Every time his eyes drifted shut, he'd see Reid's face: the anger, the pain, how Reid had just turned and walked away from him. The image was like getting a jolt from a battery, leaving sleep unattainable, and Luke unable to do anything but let the night replay over and over in his head.
It was hard to imagine that earlier today, before he'd come home, he'd been the happiest he'd ever been in his whole life.
After the incident a month ago, where Reid was nearly hit and killed by a train in an attempt to get the dearly departed Dr. Chris Hughes a heart, Luke and Reid had been nearly insepearble. They'd gone from declaring their love, to falling into bed at the first available moment, to moving in together.
Looking back, maybe they should have waited. Maybe they weren't ready. Pangs of guilt ate at the lining of Luke's stomach. He'd been the one to push for it. To insist, once Katie had packed her and Jacob's things to move in with Margo, that he and Reid get a place of their own.
Reid had eventually given in, with a warning that he was 'difficult to live with'.
Luke nearly snorted, remembering. That had been an understatement.
Reid was a nightmare to live with. Luke had no idea how Katie had done it. Maybe, perhaps, because she wasn't sharing a bedroom with him.
It started small. Little things that Reid would do, things that were slightly annoying when they happened the first time, and then grew and festered until Luke just snapped.
Like how Reid's socks never seemed to make it in the dirty clothes hamper. They often made it next to the hamper, but failed to actually make it inside. Or how Reid's toothbrush had to be in the left slot of the holder, always facing left. How Reid left his sopping wet towels on the the bed, how he was incapable of operating the washing machine.
How he was never home.
Luke's throat clenched tightly and his eyes burned once again with tears.
And so Luke had snapped, calling Reid out for all the things he deemed wrong in their relationship.
It wasn't a surprise at all when Reid didn't come home.
Reid was gone...and it was very much his fault.
*
Somehow, Luke forced himself up and into the shower in the morning. He barely felt the water on his skin, going through the motions mechanically. The rest of his day followed in similar fashion, before his grandmother's secrtary had declared him useless and sent him home.
He entered the apartment and stopped dead. Reid was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer.
"You - you're here," Luke managed to get out. He wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him, making him see the one thing he wanted most.
"I live here," Reid said, making it seem as if it should be obvious.
Luke stared at him for a long moment and then nodded.
"I'll get my things and be out your way," Luke whispered, moving past Reid toward the bedroom. He hurried into their (Reid's) room, grabbing his suitcase from the walk-in closet. He'd begun blindly throwing things into it when Reid's voice reached his ears.
"Hold the phone." Reid sounded confused. "What's going on here?"
"This is your place," Luke muttered. "Rightly so. I'll be out of your way in a minute." He shut the lid on his suitcase when it was full and zipped it shut.
"Luke, what are you-" Luke tried to brush past him, but Reid grabbed his arm, halting Luke in his tracks. "Will you stop?!" Reid shouted. Luke couldn't bring himself to look at Reid's face. "Tell me what's going on."
Something inside Luke broke again.
"I'm sorry," he gasped out through tears that were once again making their way down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Reid."
"What did you do?" Reid asked, still sounding unsure. "I'm the ass in this relationship."
Relationship.
The word reverberated in Luke's head, his eyes snapping up to meet Reid's in surprise.
"But I thought-" Now Luke was confused.
"You thought what, Luke?" Reid asked softly.
"You left," Luke accused. "You just left."
"I didn't want to say something I couldn't take back," Reid admitted. "You-you seem to have this ability to make me so angry I can't see straight."
"I don't mean to," Luke replied. "I don't."
"I know that," Reid was still talking quietly. "What don't you tell me that this is about?"
"I thought that it was over," Luke wasn't sure Reid had hear him, he'd uttered the words in a barely audible tone.
"Is that why-" Reid stopped mid-sentence. "You thought after all we've been through, that I could just walk away?" Incredulity filled his voice. Luke swallowed hard.
"I didn't know what else to think," Luke replied, feeling defensive. "You didn't come home."
"I got paged," Reid explained. "And it was late, so I crashed in the on call room. I should have called."
"Yes, you should have." Luke was shaking now, unsure what to think or to feel. He wanted to believe Reid, but past experience had taught him that things like this did not work out for the best. Try as he may, Luke Snyder always found a way to screw things up.
That's who he was.
"And I'm sorry about that," Reid told him. Luke felt his eyebrows raise at Reid's words. Reid was apologizing? "And I'm sorry about all the things that I do or don't do around here that drive you nuts," he continued. "I warned you I'm not easy to live with - but I'm willing to make an effort, because you're...important."
Luke was sure he looking like a fish breathing under water, his breath coming in pants and his mouth hanging open.
"But first, we need to talk about this." Reid nudged the suitcase Luke was still holding with his knee. Luke's fingers had wrapped so tightly around the handle they'd started to go numb. Reid managed to pry the handle from his fingers and set it in the door way to their room. He led Luke into the living room and set him on the couch, before going into their kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Luke eyed the bottle of beer sitting on the coffee table where Reid must have left it. He immediately averted his eyes. He didn't need it. He'd made it through the entire night before without a single drop, simply because he hadn't been able to bear the thought of Reid coming home and finding him that way.
"I need you to tell me what's going through your head," Reid urged, handing him the water and sitting down next to him on the couch. "Great as I am, I'm still unable to actually read minds."
"It was my fault," Luke finally said. "I shouldn't have picked a fight with you, and when you left..." Luke trailed off, pausing before he could resume speaking. "I figured it was over."
"So you've said." Reid's eyes bore into him with instensity. "But why would you think that? It was just a stupid fight, Luke. Couples have them all the time."
"Because...that's, that's how it's always been," Luke finally managed to get out.
"You're telling me this...mess...is because of Noah?" Reid's voice went a little higher when he spoke Noah's name, putting things together. Luke met Reid's gaze helplessly. "You idiot." And there was Reid's hand, lightly carressing Luke's cheek. He leaned into instintively, enjoying the feeling of Reid's incredibly soft hands against his day old stubble. "It's going to take a hell of a lot more for you to get rid of me," Reid told him. "And a hell of a lot more for me to let you go."
Luke let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"You mean it?" he asked, searching for reassurance. Reid leaned forward and kissed his lips gently.
"You'd know if I didn't," Reid said against his lips. His kiss became more insistent, and Luke was powerless to follow. Reid maneuvered them so that Luke was lying on his back along the couch, with Reid hovering over him. Their eyes locked and Luke shivered at the emotion he saw there. "I'm not him," Reid murmured. "I'm never going to be him."
For the first time since he and Reid had started dating, Luke truly believed it.
"I love you," Luke gasped out, pulling Reid in for another kiss. He didn't need to hear Reid say it back.
He already knew.
********************************************
Prompt: Can we do like....first big fight LuRe. And Reid says something then leaves and Luke takes his past experience with Noah and thinks that, that was Reid's way of breaking up with him, cue really sad lost Luke and then the next day runs into Reid who's awkward but only because he's never really apologized and Luke's trying to put on a brave face but it's obvious he's falling apart and then he says something and Reid realizes he thinks they broke up and Reid sets him straight much to Luke's relief and says that he's not Noah and sometimes he's going to be an ass or sometimes Luke's going to do something that Reid won't necessarily agree with but he's in this thing more so than anything else., etc. I just want sulky sad face Luke, then happy thank God I love him and he loves me (really loves me) Luke.