Corrupted Harmony

[lunadeartemis]

Still, it didn’t hurt to have a few men in his pocket as he traversed the little, yet obviously wealthy town. They walked behind him, their steps quiet and their figures slinking along the shadows. In contrast, he made all the noise he wanted. The click and tap of his shoes against the paved street resounded along the narrow walls of the buildings

Comments

[exiguities]

He imagined the loss of all those who had died because of Daemon’s ambition. All the pain was in that bottle. The accountability. The responsibility. It would be his to bear. Love, love, love this line!

It's very rare to see a Secondo fic, much less a well-written one, so I'm glad to have had the pleasure of reading yours! Your writing is lovely, and the story unfolded itself quite nicely. Secondo's growth as a person, as a Vongola, is very poignant in this fic, supported by a very solid set of secondary characters (Giotto is such a cool hunk ♥). There was a couple of grammar mistakes - mostly just forgotten quotemarks and a couple of misspells, nothing too disruptive - but all in all, I really like this ♥!

[lunadeartemis]

　ﾟ ヮﾟ Thank you so much!!!
I hadn't seen many Secondo stories out there either, and since he intrigues me I decided to give writing him a shot. lol, his lack of background gave me full reign to make things up as I wanted, so I had a lot of fun. I'm glad you liked it despite that! Ah~ Yes, I'm sure there's a million grammatical blunders strewn in there since I am forever a failure at catching them in my writing. -_-

Giotto is such a hunk indeed!!! lol, that part of your comment made me laugh a lot.

Once more, thank you for reading and leaving me such a lovely review! :3

[pomeqranate]

ah, i really enjoyed this! i, um, hope you don't mind that i'm eschewing the point format in this review. i love, love, love how you've characterized (created, really) secondo and how you parallel his personality to xanxus's. the little details you've dribbled throughout the fic, too -- elena, giotto's girl (and where the rings come from!!), your description early in the fic and secondo's sensuality -- were a pleasure to read. exiguities commented on the grammatical mistakes, but your idea's so original that i don't think they're that important. i hope you write more historical!vongola fic someday. ♥

[lunadeartemis]

:3 Thank you so much! Yes, the grammatical errors are abundant. I'll probably go back and try to find them all after this round is over. But, again, thank you! I want too!!! haha. My laziness will surely impede me from writing a primo fic though -_-

[lunadeartemis]

haha. Always crushing on fictional characters! I love you too!!! <3

[100paperfans]

Giotto, Ricardo, G! I think I am in love with this entry. Very, very nice. Albeit, that's probably my Primo-bias showing through, haha.

You write well and this piece shows it off spectacularly. That last line really seals the deal for me because you tie-in everything to Tsuna carrying on Giotto's will and I adored that comparison. Thank you for participating. Your take on the prompt was a great one to read!

[lunadeartemis]

Thank you! I surmise that my own primo bias shone through too, haha. :D