Love on the Rocks 2/2
"Your boy is all grown up," Leeteuk remarked one night, making Sungmin lift his eyes from the text message he was composing and seeking out Kyuhyun at one of the other tables. It was easy to find him in a crowd, mostly because Sungmin kept an eye on him out of habit. He didn't need to anymore. He didn't even want to, sometimes. The awareness twisted him up too much like he'd known it would. "Your boy," Leeteuk had said, and maybe it had been sort of like that in the beginning, cute and playful, mostly safe.
Sungmin shrugged in response to the observation and returned his attention to his cell phone, pretending to care about the standard 'had a great time, love you, miss you, come see me again' message that hosts showered their patrons with. The women liked the reassurance and the hosts liked returning customers. Strip away the glamour and it all came down to business: yes, please come again and spend hundreds of dollars at the club, thank you.
He stopped and reread his bland message. He couldn't really be that apathetic about his job. Sungmin erased it and started over, making liberal use of emoticons. It was expected from him.
Oh, forget it. He set the whole thing aside for later and slouched back into the sofa with a heavy sigh.
Leeteuk raised a fine brow at him but refrained from commenting directly. Instead he took hold of his laptop and turned it so Sungmin could see the screen. "This month's update."
Sungmin quickly skimmed the list. No drastic surprises-Kangin was climbing back up (with sheer stubbornness alone, it seemed), Donghae fell from the top three (no one had expected him to maintain interest in the position anyway), and Kyuhyun placed fifth, a few steps ahead of Sungmin's #7.
The corners of his mouth fought and climbed upwards in a slight smile. "Is this what they call the student surpassing the master?"
"I don't know," Leeteuk said lightly. "I think you and he have very different approaches, so I wouldn't be inclined to compare."
Sungmin actually didn't care at all, but he pouted for effect even if Leeteuk would see through it. He had appearances to maintain. Leeteuk gave him an indulging smile and that was expected. His words weren't.
"Sungmin, are you okay?"
He blinked. "I'm..."
Over Leeteuk's shoulder he could see the group at the table and hear the jumbled noise of their chatter. He easily picked up Kyuhyun's voice, his laugh, that exact pitch that wrapped a string around his heart and gave a tug. Just a twinge. He could almost ignore it completely but it was like pricking a finger with a very fine needle-he barely felt it at first, but after too many times the whole area got sore.
Sungmin dragged his eyes away from the party at the table and focused instead on Leeteuk's hands, folded delicately upon one another. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course. Here, or...?"
Sungmin looked around. No one was paying attention to their corner, either busy with a customer or occupying themselves with something else. Kangin was with a young woman at the bar, talking animatedly and laying a free hand upon her shoulder, fingers sliding smoothly through her curls.
"Here is fine," he assured quickly, averting his gaze again with guilt seeping into the pit of his stomach. It made him want to squirm uncomfortably in his seat, but he'd already opened his mouth and he needed...something. "I know that- That is, don't you get jealous? Doing what we do and all."
Leeteuk's laugh was fluttery and embarrassed. That made two of them. This was a conversation that probably would have been more suitable later on in the evening when they'd imbibed more alcohol. "You mean- Well, yes, in a word. I do get jealous. A lot." He glanced across to the bar and his lips twisted in a smile, bitterness tempered with affection.
Sungmin was fairly sure he could tell-everybody could tell-when Leeteuk was more than a little jealous, as it tended to manifest in a spectacularly black mood. "How do you deal with that?"
"Poorly." Well, at least he admitted it. Humor fading, the crooked lines of Leeteuk's mouth softened into a more docile smile. "If you want a real answer... I suppose I just believe him when he tells me he loves me."
The words may as well have been in Greek for all that Sungmin could understand them. "You have a lot of faith in him," was the only thing he could conclude. 'I love you's were cheap and common in places like this, for people like them, little paper cut-out hearts that could be tossed around with a mere breath.
"Faith is what it usually comes down to. And honesty. And respect. I could keep throwing words out and they'd all apply." Leeteuk's shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Sorry. I guess I don't have a good answer after all."
"Yeah, well. Thanks anyway."
"One thing, though." He waited until Sungmin looked him in the eye. "What I said before about comparing things that are different-this is the same. So even if I told you it was worth it..."
Sungmin looked away, acknowledging. He knew it was different and there was no use in asking, it was dumb to try and find an easy answer from one of Angela's dysfunctional pseudo-couples. He was looking for normalcy where there was none.
Besides, Sungmin thought, staring down at his phone again and retyping his message for the second time, it's not like he's mine. What right do I have when he isn't even mine?
If he could just wait it out, things would return to the way they were. More or less. He'd have to live with the small changes, like the way Kyuhyun didn't offer that shy smile around him anymore. But for the better. Yes, that was for the better.
* * * * *
"My bracelet," Sunny babbled through the phone. "The White Day gift. I have a date with that client tomorrow but I can't find the bracelet! I think I might have left it at the hotel last night so it's as good as gone by now. What am I going to do?"
"You never know," Sungmin said, sprawled out lazily on his couch during a rare evening off. "You could ask if anyone working there found it."
"Fat chance." He could picture her pouting on the other end, fingers twisting a curl of hair anxiously. "It was expensive. Some maid probably stole it."
"Sunny," he chided gently. "What kind of attitude is that?"
"A realistic one? Okay, okay, you have a point. I'm being cynical. You're right, it's worth a try."
Sungmin smiled. "That's my girl."
He went to accompany her-for no real reason aside from the fact that she was a friend, and he wasn't busy, anyway. In retrospect, it might have been better if he had stayed at home.
"Excuse me..." Sunny began as she approached the front desk and explained her request. "It's really important," she mentioned, and desk clerk glanced meaningfully at Sungmin.
He suppressed a grin of amusement. Whatever idea the woman was entertaining, it was probably entirely wrong. He could set her straight, but where was the fun in that?
As it turned out, there was little fun to be had anywhere for any reason.
Sungmin just happened to catch sight of the reflection in the mirror on the wall. The familiar figure, more casually dressed but still unmistakable. Before Sungmin could look away, or turn around, or do anything, their gazes met and locked.
Kyuhyun hesitated, turned away as if to ignore him, and then stopped completely. He bent to say something to the woman by his side. She nodded and placed a kiss upon his cheek, a succinct farewell, and then her heels clicked smartly on her way towards the front doors. Sungmin envied her confident stride, he himself approaching Kyuhyun's lone figure with reluctance and suspicion clenched in his fists as he was drawn in.
"She didn't look like any of your regulars," he began without preamble, looking straight ahead to show just how much he didn't want to have this conversation, because no matter what option it couldn't end well. He didn't want to see if Kyuhyun looked guilty, either.
"She wasn't," Kyuhyun admitted. He certainly didn't sound guilty.
"Girlfriend?" Sungmin wished it was and hated himself for it.
Kyuhyun shook his head-Sungmin caught the small action from the corner of his eye before he shut both of them, breathing deep.
"Did she pay y-"
"Hyung," he interrupted, and something in his tone, the insincerity, startled Sungmin, sharpened him, his mouth thinning into a firm line when he saw Kyuhyun's expression-somewhat contrite, but mostly annoyed. "It really isn't any of your business."
"I think it is," he countered. He could dig his heels in this way, the stubborn part of him easily winning over the part that wanted to slink away.
Kyuhyun was the one who lowered his gaze this time. "Oh, really?" He muttered quietly under his breath, but perfectly audible. Silver flashed between his long fingers from the lighter he'd drawn out of his pocket. The usual nervous tic.
"If Jungah and Inyoung found out, your ass would be grass. Remember you work for the club." The words came easily now. Sungmin knew all the correct things to say, the necessary admonishments to make-and he knew what shouldn't be said, swallowing those troublesome stray words before they came close to being voiced.
"Is that what this is about?" The lighter made a metallic click when the lid closed with a swift flick of Kyuhyun's thumb. His knuckles were white, and the engraved image was partially obscured.
Yes, Sungmin wanted to say in absolute truth, but he couldn't with Kyuhyun looking at him like that, like he knew him so well and maybe that was the problem. The younger man was the first to break eye contact with his mouth twisting in part grimace and part smirk, painfully combined. His grip relaxed and he flipped the lighter once in the air, catching it as it came down, then walking away. Sungmin hardly dared to breathe until he was gone.
* * * * *
If anybody noticed that Sungmin and Kyuhyun weren't talking, they didn't say a word about it, or at least not where Sungmin could hear them. Well, let them gossip in private, it didn't matter-although his chest tightened when he wondered exactly what might be said, what they knew. If the managers found out...
Sungmin clinked his glass with his client's, smiled and made a comment on cue, barely tasting the wine as it slid smoothly over his tongue. The faraway look in his eyes could have been mistaken for mild drunkenness. He made out Kyuhyun's form at the opposite table; he was entertaining a new woman, conferring with her in secret whispers and low laughter. If he cared that Sungmin could get him fired, he wasn't showing any sign of distress.
A sigh escaped from Sungmin's lips, fortunately going unnoticed by the others at his table. He wasn't going to say anything to Jungah and Inyoung about it, anyway. Part of it was because he wasn't certain-maybe he had jumped to conclusions at the hotel, maybe Kyuhyun had lied about not having a girlfriend, maybe there was something else-but as inundated with 'maybe's as he was, the bottom line was that hosts at Angela's didn't tattle on each other. Their competition wasn't that nasty and they could be juvenile in other ways. Heechul slinking into view and onto the black leather seat was a prime example.
"Hi," he said, cozying up to Sungmin with alarmingly innocent eyes and long fingers grasping his shoulder. Sungmin smiled reflexively in turn, wondering what he had done to be singled out this evening, or who Heechul was trying to make jealous. He wasn't normally Heechul's first pick for flirtation.
"Sungmin, I need a favor." The fact that he was asking was an unprecedented event, but Heechul's smile was telling; whenever he tried for sweet it resulted instead in being downright evil. Sungmin didn't have time to reply before a hand cupped his chin and Heechul's face tilted towards his. A few gasps went around the table as their lips touched, some shocked and others delighted, or a combination of both, and Sungmin let his shoulders slump in resignation to the kiss. He tried not to roll his eyes afterward when Heechul patted his cheek.
"Who was that for?" Sungmin leaned over to ask sotto voce, scanning the club for a reaction. Shiwon was absorbed with his clients, and Hankyung only sent him a sympathetic glance.
Heechul settled back against the sofa and swirled his glass of red wine, smugly content. "My own entertainment, of course."
"Of course," Sungmin mocked.
The corners of Heechul's mouth hooked dangerously. "What's your boytoy been up to lately?"
Really, Sungmin thought in annoyance, does he have to bring it up in front of customers? Smoothing the crease that formed on his brow, he said, "I'm not his chaperone. He's all grown up now." Certainly no longer the new kid who blushed when a girl asked for a kiss.
"Yeah, I can see that." Heechul snickered. "Or rather, I can't."
Sungmin reluctantly took the bait and looked around. Kyuhyun and his client were nowhere in sight, and it was days before Sungmin saw him again.
* * * * *
The look of unguarded surprise on Kyuhyun's face when Sungmin showed up at his apartment one morning was more gratifying than expected. It had been a while since they'd exchanged words or even expressions that weren't sneaking, searching glances.
"Come in," Kyuhyun said after an uncertain heartbeat, and Sungmin stepped across the threshold with mirrored hesitation.
The first thing that fell out of his mouth was, "Are you okay?"
Kyuhyun blinked at him.
"I mean, you've been gone for a few days so I wondered..." Sungmin wisely stopped himself from voicing those particular thoughts. Wariness was already starting to harden Kyuhyun's features.
"I'm fine," he answered shortly.
Sungmin didn't come all this way for nothing. He persisted: "Then why aren't you working?"
"Who says I'm not?" Kyuhyun crossed his arms and met Sungmin's eyes with a challenge that made him take an involuntary step back. "That's what you want to know, right? Fine. It's what you're thinking. You can report back to the managers or whatever now."
"You asshole," Sungmin bit out, feeling his nails dig into his palms. "I'm not going to rat you out no matter how much you deserve it."
"Then what are you doing here?"
"Why are you doing this?" Sungmin countered.
Kyuhyun shrugged as though it were obvious. "It pays well. More profit for less effort."
"That can't be the only reason. I know you-"
"No, Sungmin, you don't know." Kyuhyun's shoulders were tense with resentment but his voice held a trace of weariness. He armored the weakness with scathing accusations. "It's not that much different from what we do at the club. I'm paid for service, and at least this way there's less bullshit. You think you're being honest with the women, but you're just really good at faking it."
"And you," Sungmin started, stopped, dragged in a breath and deflected. "You think whoring yourself out is more honest?"
"Prove me wrong. Show me. Tell me." He demanded and pleaded at the same time, and this wasn't all about work anymore, but Sungmin couldn't be honest because he couldn't be that certain, or that brave, on uncharted land.
"Stop messing around," he said slowly and haltingly, as close to the truth as he could get. "You're better than that. I do know that much."
"It's obviously not enough." Kyuhyun turned his back on him for what seemed like the hundredth time.
"No, wait," Sungmin found himself saying, riding on a wave of panic. "I-" But when Kyuhyun looked at him with expectant eyes, everything came to a crashing halt.
"I don't do things halfway," Kyuhyun said after waiting in vain. "You need to make up your mind."
* * * * *
Kyuhyun still didn't show up at the club that night, or the night after that. Inyoung was spitting fire and disapproval dulled Jungah's smile when she questioned the boys, but she didn't hound them, probably knowing how unlikely she was to extract an answer. Sungmin continued to feign ignorance, and contrary to what Kyuhyun had said, it seemed that he didn't need to come to any decision himself. Kyuhyun's extended absence was enough.
"I never knew before that I was such a coward," Sungmin mused aloud, more indifferent than incredulous. He'd had a few days to get used to the idea.
Eunhyuk happened to be the unfortunate listener to this talk, and he feebly tried, "You aren't, really. I don't think so."
"No, I totally am." He sighed and propped his elbows up on the table, chin in his hands. "But that's okay." Acceptance came easily after all the practice he'd gotten. Sungmin felt the muscles in his face pull in a smile, and was grateful when Eunhyuk offered him a one-armed hug.
The fleeting comfort was dampened by Heechul's presence as the young man graced their table with a too-wide grin. "Who's up for a game? I've always loved mysteries, myself; there's nothing more satisfying than outsmarting everyone else. Let's play Where's the Magnae?"
"Hyung..." Sungmin warned.
"They might hear you!" Eunhyuk hissed, flapping his hands in the direction of Inyoung and Jungah-who were, indeed, watching them suspiciously.
"You wound me," Heechul lamented without sounding very wounded. "I wouldn't snitch on the kid. Why, I don't even know if there's anything to snitch about!"
"I have nothing to tell you," Sungmin said, stubbornly placid, then made as though to leave.
"I see. Well, if you're going to be like that, maybe I'll cut out the middle man and ask him myself." When Sungmin dared to shoot him a glance, Heechul smirked. "Look who deigned to set foot in our club."
Sungmin was stricken for a moment, part dreading and part hopeful, when he swung his gaze towards the entrance and saw Kyuhyun being immediately ushered towards the back, no doubt in for quite the scolding. He might even be fired, and that thought did a good job of twisting up Sungmin's insides. Good, he decided somewhere amid the tangle, grabbing hold of that conviction like a lifeline. Good, because that would solve everything, and he could finally stop-
He didn't mean to catch Kyuhyun's eye, even if for an instant, though he'd been staring enough that it brought a stab of guilt. Then Kyuhyun's gaze dragged away from him and there was only his back, so straight and resolute, within his sights and staying there as Sungmin followed without consciously meaning to do so.
"What is wrong with you?" Inyoung demanded in a voice edged like a blade, striking sharp through the air before the closing of the office door.
Sungmin hovered outside, half trying to concentrate on the conversation within and half trying to quiet the thundering of his heart. He felt faint from the effort. What was he even doing here, eavesdropping, nurturing this fearful curiosity? He'd better go back. He was supposed to be working. He couldn't hear anything but for Inyoung's outbursts, anyway, and it wasn't supposed to matter. He'd been doing so well with holding back.
He saw his hand reach for the doorknob, not quite believing it, and then his fingers were tightening and his wrist turning and the door clicked open, abruptly halting the flow of words inside.
"Sungmin," Jungah said with a look of mild surprise.
"You're interrupting," Inyoung added with menace.
Kyuhyun said nothing, and even his face was unreadable.
"Sorry," Sungmin apologized automatically. He was still gripping the door; he could fumble some sort of excuse and then close it, leaving. "I was just..."
"Get out," Inyoung snapped while Jungah nodded in gentle, but firm accordance.
"Not right now, Sungmin."
He ducked his head. Yes, fine. He would go, but not before looking apprehensively to Kyuhyun and asking in a small voice, "Are you okay?"
A muscle twitched in Kyuhyun's jaw and he shifted just slightly, eyes flickering in a subtle sign: 'what do you think?' He looked tired, face pale and eyes bruised with dark circles. Was he skinnier than usual? Sungmin tried to remember how he looked a few days ago aside from surprised and angry and hopelessly frustrated. For some reason he remembered something else, another time, that awful hung-over morning and the way Kyuhyun spoke and trusted and teased him.
Unbidden, Sungmin raised a hand to Kyuhyun's face, brushing aside curls of hair to press against a clammy forehead. "You- You're feverish," he stuttered. His hand was knocked away but he persisted, "What are you doing? You're sick."
"Shut up," Kyuhyun said tightly under his breath.
"Well," Jungah's voice rang out, clearing the air. She leveled them both with a look that was weighed with finality. "Kyuhyun, you're not going to be of any use tonight. Go home and rest, but return here tomorrow, early, and we'll continue this discussion then."
"Wasting our time like this..." Inyoung scoffed, but didn't countermand Jungah's decision.
"Sorry for all the trouble," Kyuhyun murmured. Sungmin couldn't tell if it was relief or exhaustion that colored his tone.
"Sungmin," Jungah began, but that was all she got out before he cut in.
"I'll take him home," he offered. Or, well, he assumed. Inyoung sent him the most withering look.
"With whose permission?"
"It's fine," Kyuhyun and Jungah said at the same time; the former blinking in surprise and the latter smiling wryly.
"It's fine," she repeated. "Sungmin, he's your responsibility again."
Sungmin didn't think he was altogether pleased about that, and judging by Kyuhyun's expression, neither was he-but he'd gotten this far already. He might as well go with it.
* * * * *
It was his second time visiting Kyuhyun's apartment, but that first time, before, he hadn't exactly made it far inside, nor had the presence of mind to take in his surroundings. He hadn't noticed then that the place was fairly neat and clean, largely owing to the sparse furnishing, and Sungmin had never asked whether Kyuhyun was new to the city or not. He didn't know how the kid lived outside of the club, though he'd pretended to make it his business. The guilt that still hung in his stomach sunk in a little deeper.
"Thanks," Kyuhyun said gruffly, the first word he'd spoken to Sungmin since leaving Angela's.
"What were you thinking, coming in sick?" Sungmin couldn't help but ask, taking off his coat and folding it over a chair. He hadn't been invited to stay, but he realized that he planned to, regardless.
Kyuhyun took note of the action with something akin to resignation. He snorted softly. "Weren't you the one nagging me about work?"
"I thought you were quitting," he said, and inwardly reeled. Kyuhyun had listened to him that last time? Or was he just cleverly avoiding something else?
Kyuhyun's shoulders visibly slumped and his eyes had fallen shut. "M'tired," he mumbled, certainly looking it. The fatigue made him look younger and softer than he had in weeks.
"Go lie down," Sungmin urged, voice naturally becoming gentle. "Do you need anything?"
Kyuhyun gazed off somewhere to the side for a while, then shook his head no.
"Then get some rest."
He expected Kyuhyun to disappear into his room, so Sungmin stared when all he did was curl up on the couch. He stopped himself from saying anything when Kyuhyun simply breathed deeply and laid there, quiet, cheek pressing against the arm and hair falling over his eyes. Well, if that suited him... Sungmin explored until he found a closet with a spare blanket, spreading it out over Kyuhyun's form. His fingers brushed over his face, ostensibly to check his temperature: still warm. Stupid boy, expecting to work like that. So he wasn't quitting after all. Jungah and Inyoung could still fire him tomorrow, though.
They wouldn't find out until then. Sungmin drew away, sitting on the floor with his back to the couch and Kyuhyun's soft breathing behind him. Not quitting, huh. Kyuhyun wanted to stay. That was good, wasn't it? He'd regain his popularity for sure, stealing more of Sungmin's clients, putting on spectacular shows with Yesung and Ryeowook, talking with Sungmin again, smiling at him.
Well, maybe. And Sungmin wanted that, didn't he? The thought of Kyuhyun smiling and laughing with him again made something quiver inside, a more pleasant shiver than the sick roiling that he'd felt lately.
But there was no use thinking about such things until tomorrow. Sungmin stretched out his limbs-he'd folded his legs and had been hugging them without knowing-and he took another look around the room. There was a TV and DVD player, and on a shelf next to them was an Xbox 360 and array of games. Sungmin wouldn't have hesitated to make use of any of those if Kyuhyun wasn't sleeping right behind him.
The windows were partially obscured by hideously-patterned curtains-and actually, Sungmin now noticed that none of the décor seemed to match. He huffed out a sigh that was more of an airy chuckle.
Something else caught his attention from his sweep across the room: a clear-lidded square box sitting on top of a table. Sungmin got up to inspect, curiosity making his steps light, and he hesitatingly ran his fingers over the case of what had to be a vintage turntable. Underneath was a cardboard box of carefully-stacked vinyl records. He slowly drew out the topmost one, running his eyes over the faded cover. The urge to fiddle around with the device and play something was maddening, but he had to remind himself that Kyuhyun needed rest and god, what if he broke it?
"You want to listen to one?"
Sungmin nearly dropped the record he was holding. He looked back with a sheepish smile at Kyuhyun, who was sitting up with the blanket tucked around his shoulders, hair rumpled, voice scratchy, and eyes still tired, but faintly amused.
"How do I?"
There was a thoughtful pause, then: "First of all, put that one back. Get out the one, um, third down. You'll know it."
Sungmin did as he was told, sorting through the first couple of records until he found the one Kyuhyun was talking about. He recognized the album art immediately, had seen that image engraved in flashing silver time after time. Kyuhyun instructed him on how to play it on the turntable. Soft, crackling vinyl preceded the swell of music that followed.
"My mom's favorite," he explained, eyes closed again.
Sungmin inched over until he was sitting back where'd been against the couch, listening to the soaring female voice weave foreign words together in an enchanting rhythm. Sirens, he recalled, their song lured sailors to their deaths when they crashed their ships against cliffs and rocks. It didn't matter if the lyrics themselves described the mythology, the music was evocative enough. He could imagine the sound of waves as the song trailed to an end, leaving only the faint inhale and exhale of Kyuhyun's breathing. He wasn't asleep, stirring eventually with the lids of his eyes blinking slowly open, heavy at half-mast.
"Um." Sungmin tried not to squirm, awkward under that stare. "Do you want me to get you anything? Something to drink?"
"No." The blanket rustled as Kyuhyun shifted in place. "I'll be fine. You don't need to stay here and baby-sit me."
"I'm just- I'm worried." That was easy enough to admit; the worry had been constant ever since that one morning. Sungmin cleared his throat. "You took care of me, you know, before. When I was drunk. I can look out for you, too. I'm still your hyung."
It was the first time he'd actually mentioned that event, which might have been the wrong thing to do. The silence was continuous.
Sungmin was wondering whether an apology (warranted or not, he was too high-strung to care anymore) would make it better or worse when a hand suddenly came down to rest on his head, fingers mussing his hair in a familiar way.
"You're the worst hyung ever," Kyuhyun said, but there was no bite to the accusation. He only sounded impossibly tired, his voice rough and raspy. Sungmin could guess that not many people have heard him sound like that, and somehow the thought lifted him.
"Shut up," Sungmin replied, affecting a pout. "Go back to sleep. Do you want to move to your bed?"
"No," Kyuhyun mumbled, already reclining back. "Here's fine."
Maybe it was just a really comfortable couch, though Sungmin eyed it skeptically. But if Kyuhyun insisted, there was nothing Sungmin could do. After a while the rise and fall of Kyuhyun's chest evened out, slow and steady, and Sungmin found himself matching his pace. The air eased in, then out. He shifted to rest his arms on the seat, pillowing his head there, face tilted to gaze up at Kyuhyun's peaceful features. Who else had watched him sleep like this? Perhaps it wouldn't matter anymore, though it shouldn't have mattered to begin with.
"I'm glad you're not quitting," he said at last, mostly to himself, so he was startled and a bit embarrassed to hear a response.
"Really?"
Sungmin frowned hard at him. "Stop pretending to sleep."
Kyuhyun cracked an eye open with lethargic disdain. "Maybe if you didn't make so much noise I could sleep for real. Make up your mind."
You need to make up your mind.
Sungmin steadied his breathing, hoping that it would also steady the nervous tremble of his heart. Kyuhyun was watching him with both eyes half-lidded now, stubborn through his obvious drowsiness. Idiot boy really did need to rest.
"You know," Sungmin began, wetting his lips with anxious resolve. If this is what it will take, he was thinking, metaphorically waving the white flag. "I thought I'd be happier if you did quit."
"Why's that?" He asked so lightly, as if it didn't concern him at all. Sungmin almost lost his nerve then, but drove on ahead with a sting of spite.
"Because you wear me out. Because you, you're impossible. And you ask for the impossible."
"Maybe," Kyuhyun said, but did not concede. "Maybe if you didn't get my hopes up like you're doing now."
If Sungmin wasn't already sitting down and leaning on the couch, he would have collapsed in defeat. As it was, he let his forehead drop onto his arm. His next words were muffled into the cushion. "That's why it would be better if you quit."
"But you're glad that I'm not."
"I don't know why since it's just going to drive me crazy. Seeing you with customers again. Touching them and singing for them and telling them-" His throat closed around the confession in reflex. Preservation instinct. It may as well have been in his genetic code.
"Telling them what?"
Sungmin exhaled softly. "Oh, you stubborn bastard."
"I have to be to deal with you."
"And a total brat," Sungmin added, gradually raising his head and peering through his bangs at Kyuhyun's surprisingly unguarded face. That did it. Clamoring instinct be damned-Sungmin leaned up and over to put his lips by Kyuhyun's ear, breath tickling and making him twitch. Then there were the words, making him still.
* * * * *
Ten o'clock and Angela's was in full-swing. Saturday night was show night, and Donghae was doing his thing on stage, garnering no small amount of admiring and enthralled looks. Shindong was just slipping away to the back to prepare for his follow-up. From a nearby table Kangin called for a bottle of wine, top shelf, for a special lady, and Leeteuk was the one who brought it over with a perfect dimpling smile that didn't quite match his eyes. A typical weekend night.
Sungmin looked away, self-conscious and half-dizzy from the cloud of perfume that wafted from the woman to his right. Judging by her makeup and clothes, perfume wasn't the only thing she overcompensated with. He raised his glass to his lips automatically; it wouldn't help clear his senses, but minutes later he found that it was all right to lean his weight on Kyuhyun sitting to his left.
"Sorry," he heard Kyuhyun apologize to the table. "He's no good at drinking."
There was a chorus of "aww" and "how cute" from all around, and Sungmin didn't try to disguise the face he made.
"I don't point out any of your flaws in front of our esteemed guests," he said, playfully elbowing Kyuhyun's side. "Like how you used to be so bad at kissing."
"Hyung!" Kyuhyun protested, and the women laughed in mingled delight and disbelief.
"It's true," Sungmin caroled with a thrum of pleasure inside. Alcohol and the sound of Kyuhyun's laugh, unreserved, had that effect. "He was adorably shy at first, you should have seen it."
"But that's in the past," Kyuhyun defended himself. Then he added, with a very warm hand on Sungmin's knee, "I've had some practice since then."
Sungmin was warm and happy and a little bit drunk, so on a whim he decided to take a page from Heechul's book (as much as he might regret it later for whatever reason). He wound an arm around Kyuhyun's neck and brought their faces close together, smiling and flushed.
"Better keep at it," he said, and Kyuhyun's lips curved against his in tacit agreement.
end
Man, I started this thing back in March when the first SORRY, SORRY teaser pic was released and I said, "So for their new concept they're hosts, right?" I'm so slow. orz And somehow, despite its length, I still feel like this fic is rushed. BUT IT'S OVER, I'm done, I wash my hands of it. Now to knock out my remix fic--and by that I mean oh god, remix fic.