A Trip to Kansas [URUHA / RUKI] - MINI-SHOT
Title: A Trip to Kansas
Chapters: Mini-Shot
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: AU, Angst
Warnings: Nudity, Cursing
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Uruha / Ruki
Bands: The GazettE
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: [It would help to have read Timing before this, but you can understand this without having read it (^ ^” )]Takanori is awake, laying under Kouyou after they had sex for the first time (Ruki's POV).
A Trip to Kansas
Just a little bit of courage.
That's all I truly need.
If you only knew Kouyou, I am such a coward. My cunning and hateful remarks, my "fuck-it all!" attitude, my uncalled for stubbornness, and more, are all a result of my hopelessness in this world. I hate life in itself, I see no point in it what-so-ever, I feel like there is so much stupidity, ignorance, and hatred around me, and I am scared to try and believe that there is some "true" good out there, because I don't want to be let down. I'd rather be punched a hundred time, shot at over and over again, than be brokenhearted. Basically, I can deal with physical pain, I can even turn it into something somewhat enjoyable, but heart-ache, fuck that shit; it hurts way too much.
So I won't even try.
I won't try getting anything more out of this. Just this, your naked body over mine, after a night to literally remember, is enough for me. It's actually even more than I could have wished for, more than I had expected, and I still can't even believe that we did it. I'm so happy, I really wish I could die right now, which would be a rather dick move in your regards, I know, but that's not the reason why I won't. If I killed myself, you'd probably hate me forever, and that I don't think I want. I can already hear you trying to talk me out of it, listing all the reasons I should have to keep living, talking about the hidden beauty of this world ... god ... you'd be the most annoying thing to hear in this entire world. In fact, I am so surprised you practically said nothing to me as I went on this sexual rampage of mine. There definitely was something different about you last night, I know you too well, and you know me just as much, but I won't over-analyze, I'll leave that to you, like I always do.
Do I wish I were a girl? No. I don't wish that on you either, I like us the way we are, and it just so happened that we are both boys. It just so happens that we live in a fucking homophobic world. Maybe in another life uh? But is not like there aren't homosexual people fighting for their rights. In fact, if I had even one tenth of Chung Ho Seok's will to face this shitty world, the courage to be potentially hurt I would tell you that I love you, that I would love to be with you as your partner in crime, that you are the main reason why I am still around. I would let you know that you have made this world a bit more interesting, a bit more bearable, a bit less hopeless. I mean seriously: why the fuck is the wizard of Oz in fucking Kansas? … I'm just saying.
Oh and another thing I like about you Kouyou is that you are so fucking nice. In fact, I can guarantee, that even though we have the excuse that I was "drunk" last night, you'd still probably not bring tonight's events up unless I say anything because you are to careful in the way you deal with me. You will not judge me for our actions, you will not act weird afterward, you'll just leave it at that. I Still don't know how, and why you can handle me so well, but as long as you keep doing so, I am sure I'll last for a long long time.
Then again, maybe is just time I stopped being such a pussy.
… I'd have to know how to speak English to go to Kansas anyways; so fuck that shit too.
AN: Essentially, I was trying to give you something to “munch on” until I finish the second part and it is okay if some of you have decided to not read the second part, I completely understand d(^_^ ), but in practice, I felt like Ruki needed to be voiced a little. Even though I am a pro-life-anytime type of person, it is also true that there are a lot of people that don't necessarily see it that way, and Ruki was definitely one of those in this story; even thought there is a little bit of hope towards the end of this.
So, let me go reply some comments, and finish part two ne.
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-