AKAI ITO #3 - PICK UP LINES AND SHOPPING CARTS - [BYOU (ScReW) / HIROTO (Alice Nine)]
Title: Pick Up Lines and Shopping Carts
Series: Akai Ito
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Crack, Romance, Introspection
Warnings: language
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Byou / Hiroto
Bands: ScReW; Alice Nine
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: Not every epic love story has a girl on a balcony, and a man beneath it (Hiroto POV)
Dedicated to: pooobaihr fufufufufufuu, I wonder if you ever thought I'd do something like this~
"Pick Up Lines and Shopping Carts”
当ても無い(Atemonai) - Random Love
made by me
It is sad enough when you wish you could forget about the first time you met your own lover, isn't it? In fact, let me backtrack some. To begin with, having to call this person my lover, every now and again, still freaks me out tremendously. Seriously; it does. Because not only he so happens to be an insatiable sex-fiend, but he is extremely selfish, somewhat ignorant, and just, how do I say this, he makes me go “grrr” quite a lot? Yet here we are 'as an item' me, Hiroto Ogata, and him Masahito Kojima, also known as the famous model Byou ( ... yeah that Byou ...)... and it is blowing my mind completely, it's just that … god we are such a dysfunctional couple! Or for anyone who believes in faith (such as myself, he calls it “that crap” … I mean you see what I am talking about?!), we could say that we were randomly meant to crash, yeah not meet, crash on each other, lose valuable neurons in the process, and paired together as the result of an infinite amount of bad decisions. However, so that you can properly understand what I mean, let me first explain how we met.
I was only fifteen at the time, my dad was coming back home from one of his usual business trips, and mom wanted me to go get his favorite soda, so I was conveniently sent to the convenient store to get some (my mom has this funny habit of just sending me every-fucking-where). Quite a normal occurrence though right? Wrong! So fucking wrong. The store was normal, I was normal, the soda was normal, the damn cashier (for once) was normal, but an utterly scary dude (him ...) bumps into me, makes my sodas crash to the ground, sprout open, and pour all over what he was carrying; condoms.
I will admit to this without any qualms, I was virgin at the time, and even though I knew and had seen condoms before, the sight of not one, but seven boxes, of all different kinds, made me rather uncomfortable. Not to talk about the fact that as every regular teenager, the sight of a condom would inevitably make think about sex, and how I really wanted to do it, but how I also wanted for it to be special since it would have been my first time, and at the time, special would have meant doing it with Takashi Sakamoto. We, me and Saga-kun (that's how he told us to call him), were in the same year and class, and he was just such a nice guy seriously, we bonded so well. He basically was everything anyone (girl or boy) would have wanted from an ideal partner, and even though I believe he mentioned something about liking a guy that was completely scorned in our school (… lucky him, I used to say at the time … oh and I actually randomly met Saga-kun the other day, and apparently they are still living together …) at the time, Mr. Kokjim had already become an issue, for me to even keep wasting time contemplating Saga-kun … yeah.
So whatever, back to the story. With a bunch of condoms inside liquid which wasn't you-know-what, what would you normally do? You would both apologize, call someone to come and clean the mess, and move your own way? Yes? Yes?! But of course no! Not if your name is Byou. He had to offer to buy other drinks, which, since it meant me not having to pay, and getting to keep the money by pretending with mom that I still bought it, wasn't a bad idea. How-e-ver … what was the whole deal with me having to choose his condoms?!?! Like I swear … what. The. Fuck?! I couldn't even refuse, he was being so pushy and guilt-tripping me (… don't remember how you guilt trip someone into getting to choose your own condoms, so don't ask …) but I just wanted him to just leave me alone, quickly buy my stuff, and have us go our separate ways, bye-bye, dasvidaniya, sayonara, never to see you ever again.
That was what I wished for, and you know that famous saying be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it? Not me of course (shit, never even got that soccer ball I kindly asked Santa to get me for Christmas when I was five … yes I still remember …) in fact I got exactly what I didn’t wish for and more.
Once we got out of the store, I began to speed walk my way home, and he was right on my track, so I slowed down, because the last thing I needed was to have a creeper, know where I lived, and no … I had no idea who he was … I wasn't into tv, magazine, and shit like that, so no, I had no idea he was a VIP but he was also well disguised so, it wouldn't have matter. He was wearing baggy pants a weird long coat (I don't even think he was wearing any shirt ...), a baseball hat, and glasses; so much for being a model.
“D-did I forget something? ...” I hesitantly inquired, stopping and turning around to glance at him, who calmly walked all the way, stopping right in front of my nose, both his hands in his pocket, loudly chewing that annoying gum of his, he silently looked down at me; I fucking panicked.
“I think you are cute, let me fuck you” he didn't politely ask (not that it makes a difference, whether polite or not), or shyly wondered, or desperately begged. He down-right demanded me to have sex with him, and I swear I truly believed I was going to get raped that night, right on that street, against the car parked behind us. Bye-bye romantic dinner on the beach, bye-bye Saga-kun, bye-bye dreams of a fairy-tale love “... so? I am good I swear, you can ask anybody ...” he incited, as I frantically thought of a way to just get away, without him following me, or maybe getting angry at me for rejecting him and trying to break my skull; the man isn't of an indifferent physic.
“Oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my god!” suddenly squealed a group of girls behind me “... isn't that Byou-sama?? Isn't he?” kept excitedly observing the group of girls. I turned around, just to see a group of girls from my school rapidly approaching us, and as I turned back forwards to face my creeper, he had visibly paled, and suddenly become quite stiff. That was my chance. Lowering my head, I let the group of girls shove me away, and quickly disappeared into an alley which would have taken me home in double of the time, but I didn't care. The following day I wouldn't complain as I went to school, I would spend time with my dear Saga-kun, smile at the teachers, and also not sleep during my math class, yes all of that, because I was just so grateful to the fact that I was still a virgin (… and alive, that never hurts, though now that I am older and wiser, I realize, it should have been the other way round alive then virgin … even just alive really … ) and that was all that mattered.
So began my regular every day at Sakura High School, as I told Saga-kun (and the other people in our group, but really I was just talking to him …) what happened he laughed so hard, and kept saying he didn't believe me, and I kept laughing saying it's true, it's all true. We sure did look like a happy couple, until he would politely excuse himself every time that guy ...what was his name again … we called him Yamada-sama, but thinking about it I doubt I even ever knew his name. Anyways, Saga-kun would always disappear whenever Yamada-sama would come around, no exception for that day. He politely excused himself, said he would talk to me later, and ran off. I didn’t know how to feel about that exactly, but surely I wasn't giddy about having the person I liked leave me for one, and only one, particular guy every single time. So that day I was brooding on that, as the others kept talking. I swear I was completely zoned out, but oh how quickly I zoned in when a voice I was hoping I'd forget suddenly blasted thought the school's speakers.
“As your superintendent has just explained, I, your dear Byou-sama, decided to shoot my calendar in this school ...” began that voice, and it suddenly all began to make sense, why all the girls had suddenly began to act stupid, once the superintendent had started to speak; part which I obviously zoned out on “... and I have also already chosen, which student will be modeling next to me ….” No way … I thought, as a cold shiver traveled down my spine there is no way he knows my name, there is no way he- “... Hiroto Ogata … I choose you” he concluded, and I hadn't needed to listen to the following message for the superintendent that said I should go to his office, so that I could meet the creeper. Fuck that. I was instantly on my feet, under everyone's wondering gazes in the cafeteria.
“Dude … I didn't know you knew a star, the fuck, trying to keep all the fame to yourself?” playfully stated one of my best friends sitting next to me, as I silently and angrily glimpsed at him, and ran the hell out of the cafeteria, thinking of how to get out of the school in the quickest way from where I was. I had two ways which would have allowed me to get out of the school, without passing through the superintendent’s office, so I just began to run, I ran, and ran, and god people, how much bad luck can one single person gather? I mean, how in the world, was I to have suddenly bumped into something, fell on my behind, and look up just to find nobody else but Mr. Kojima creepily smiling down at me? Like seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?!
“No need to rush ...” he smugly stated, stopping down to a completely paralyzed me “... we have the time it takes to make a twelve months calendar, to sex it up properly” he grinned, and I just wanted to throw up, god I wanted to pass out eternally, since I already was on the process of doing so.
“Hello Ogata-kun, my name is Takigawa ...” suddenly stated the voice of a man, who walked right behind Mr. Kojima, and merely stood there, as Mr. Kojima paraded the most annoyed expression ever “... I am Mr. Byou's manager, and my job here is to make sure that the job will be done, properly, on point, and with no time wasted, because Byou is quite busy, and we have a schedule to respect.
“Yes!” I suddenly shouted, shoving past Mr. Kojima, and almost jumping on Takigawa-san my savior “... I don't want to do this! Please save me!” I then begged Takigawa-san, whom looked at me like I had just said something blasphemous, and I am almost sure that he began to sweat. Silently pushing his glasses up his nose, he fixed his jacket and asked a minute with me, as he walked away from Byou. Not being needing to be told twice, I followed the manager, whom looked around, and after seeing that the coast was clear, he dove to his knees and prostrate in front of me.
“Onegai shimasu*!” he almost yelled, as I awkwardly stared at him, completely taken aback and also hoped nobody were to suddenly turn the corner “... I beg of you, Byou is incredibly hard to work with, he will not cooperate if you don't do this, he told us it had to be you, and if I don't finish this by the deadline I have been given, not only me but other will lose their job, so please please please bear with me for a little bit onegai shimasu!” he begged me, and as I cursed myself for my incredibly sympathetic
nature, I quickly reached to pulled him up, and agreed to cooperate.
So it was that staff, technicians and what more, began to fill the school all of a sudden, and while Takigawa was too busy taking care of given instructions, I was left in a room alone with Byou-sama, to … discuss things … they said. Even though I had begged, yelled, implored to do anything with me, but leave me in an empty classroom alone with him, they obviously were too busy to listen to me, and we were just shoved in here; both of us standing on opposite side of the room.
“Don't you dare come close to me! You … you … creeper!” I yelled up above my lungs, and he just laughed, absolutely not taking me seriously at all. So he began to get closer, as I suddenly began to run away not knowing what else to do, obviously enough, I was caught rather quickly, I was then picked up, forcefully laid over the professor's desk, where he kept me pinned down, and as he began to kiss my neck, I suddenly began to cry; and he stopped.
“Why … are you crying? ...” he questioned, as he lifted away, his eyes for the first time looking at me rather seriously.
“Because I don't want this you retard!” I yelled still crying “... I don't want my first time to be like this, this wasn’t how I always thought of it!” I desperately kept crying “... leave me alone … please ...” I then whispered, and I don't know what happened in that moment, but he just suddenly left me, and dropped himself on the wall next to the blackboard. He whispered his apologies, told me I didn't need to do this, that I shouldn't worry, because he would be out of my life in no time, then asked me to quickly leave the room.
So why I ask you? (because right to this day I don't ave the answer), why do you think that as soon as I left that room, I started to feel weird? Why wasn’t I happy that I finally was freed from that hassle? Why had I went back to the changing room allowing them to get me ready for the first shoot? Because I didn’t want people to be fired? Yes that was definitely a reason, but the problem here is that that wasn't the only reason. As Mr. Kojima appeared into the dressing room to get ready, his mood had completely faltered, he wasn't creepily smiling, or acting smug or anything, he was just a pretty face, with a pretty body, which made everyone around him feel rather uncomfortable, being it apparently completely uncharacteristic. And here is biggest question of all; why did I care?
As we began the photo-shoot process, day by day passed normally, Mr. Kojima didn't speak to me once, looked at me once, unless it was required in the poses for the photo-shoot, behavior, which irked me, and here and now I will admit that it bothered me and that I wanted him to look at me again, and talk to me again. I just … I suppose … I can't handle sad people very well, especially when knowing that I might be the cause of said unhappiness. Moreover, do I want to add the fact that as I had the time to quietly observe him, I finally realized that indeed he was handsome? Or that he has a quite unique way to pulling his hair back? Or that he has a soft spot for dogs; I think that was what had me … what had me (still hard for me to say til this day …) … what had me fall for him.
“You like dogs ...” I nonchalantly observed, as I stopped on my way to the gym, where February was going to be shot, and I found him in a corner behind the school carrying a puppy he had found in a box. Yet he didn't reply, and can you believe that shit (him ignoring me) sort of hurt? “... as it ever occurred to you that maybe you just have a completely awkward and insane way of approaching things?” I pointed out, trying to not get irritated, at the fact that I was being still being ignored; one week had passed “... I mean, who the hell goes around sexually harassing teenagers? I mean …” I then paused, walking a bit closer to him, while staring at the puppy “... things that are so common sense to everyone, are so not, to you … it makes it hard to even try and understand why you do what you do” I lowly concluded, surprising myself with having the balls to even coming out with admitting that I had in fact tried to understand him.
“That's just because I am not everyone ...” he plainly replied, and in all honesty I had nothing to reply to that, as it was true enough “... thus I do things differently from everyone, nothing I can do about that” he added, still not looking at me, which made me impulsively walk even closer to him; what can I say, my body apparently moves alone “... and if you really want to know, I will explain it the way that everyone can understand, the day I met you I was rushing to get those condoms because Aki, the person I have been trying to fuck all my life, had finally agreed to make me fuck him once, which was why I was in a hurry, because he was sort of drunk, and I didn't want him to suddenly change his mind. By the time I got home, he fell asleep ...” he paused, as he kept his head lowered on the puppy “... I gave up for that night, and simply shrugged as I usually do, because I never end up getting any … like Wilie E. Coyote with Beep Beep ... but as I landed on my couch, smoking my usual consolation cigarette, there and then I thought for a second that I though you truly were cute. Which was why, before I got home, I fought my misogynist self the best I could, and asked that group of girls whether they happened to know you, and I was lucky enough ...” he kept narrating, his tone of voice still impassive “... and when I finally met you, you kept acting the way you did, and I thought you were simply playing hard to get … just like Aki … but then you cried” he then concluded.
“How is a model misogynist? ...” I lightly giggled, dropping by the wall next to him.
“That's just the way I am” he shrugged, and plainly replied.
“I wasn't really asking … I was just … kidding ...” I then lowly replied, as I began to fear, just how comfortable I was making myself around this giant mess of a human being. Never had I met anyone so open about sexuality, so direct, so honest in his being, and I suppose a part of me bean to feel attracted to all those sides of him, and it was scary. The way my heart began to beat so quickly was scary indeed; love is one scary shit.
“... It takes me a while to understand people, I am quite selfish, and I like to have my way … but I usually not too good in noticing when I have overstepped my boundaries … and nobody had ever told me anything, nobody but Aki … never had he ever taken any of my shit … “ he stated slightly smiling, and god didn't I like that.
“Do you love him? ...” I then asked against myself, as I quickly glimpsed at him shrugging.
“I guess ...” he nonchalantly replied, as he knelt to place the puppy back in the box “... but he doesn't, I am just a friend to him … so if I could only get to have sex with him that once ...” he seriously hissed, in a sort of funny way, which made me smile in a sort of funny way as well.
“I had a boy I like as well ...” I informed him, out of nowhere, he didn't ask me, but it felt like I needed to tell him that I had someone, meaning, not anymore. And it was just when I said had in that moment, I realized that I had been over Saga-kun “... but he definitely likes someone else … and you know what's funny … I think that thanks to you … I hadn't even had to cry over it” I chuckled, while glimpsing at his newly raising figure. So since we are both free … I then began to think … why don't we, you know … I kept thinking, and hating myself because I wished I had the courage to come out and just say it, but the fear of being reject at the moment was immense.
“Be my boyfriend” he simply ordered in his characteristic way, which sent me to a seventh heaven, and made me snap at the same time.
“Grrr … that's exactly what I am talking about!” I exclaimed, as he looked at me with the face of a person offended to the fact that he was being yelled out fro doing something wrong.
“If you don't want to be with me, you just have to say so” he spouted looking away, and that must have been my been my act-uncharacteristically day because (given that the man is way taller than me …) I jumped in order to hit him on the head, and have him look at me in speechless awe.
“I wouldn't be even wasting my time talking to you right now if I didn't! You moron! I am a romantic person I told you that already ...” I vividly expressed “... if you have to ask me something like that ...” I then paused, darting my gaze to the side, for the embarrassment of what I was about to say “... I'd like you to go about it more romantically ...” I then almost whispered.
“I can't do that” dryly stated the big moron, and I got so fucking angry, but by that point, I was already so head over heals apparently, that it wouldn't have matter.
“You are a fucking actor! Try!” I growled, and he could have just picked-up and left, but he stayed, not moving a single muscle, right there with me, taking all the complaints I had to hurl on him. And that is one of the things I can now unhesitatingly admit that I appreciate about Mr. Kojima (… by the way, if you wondered … Mr. Kojima is how I like to call him … not Byou, not Byou-sama, not Kokjima-san … but Mr. Kojima) the fact the he stays and listen to whatever I have to say until I am done; whether he likes it or not, he stays. With the rest of the world, this man has an attention span which, if they are lucky, will reach the full minute.
“I'm a model” he calmly replied.
“All the same!” I kept yelling, angrily looking away.
“No it is not ...” he coolly replied, and I just resolved to keep my silence “... lets go, three people lose their job every second you yell” he then stated, laughing to his own joke, as he began to walk towards the gym, while I lightly puffed (… I actually really wanted to laugh, cause it was funny, but you know … gotta keep face), and silently followed him. That night, we had sex. Apparently, we both somehow manged to be starving for each other's attention in the one week that we ignored each other, and contrary to what you might think, and what I also thought, he was ... careful … for the rest, is all what you probably imagined, and more (and did I like it? … fuck yeah I did, are you kidding me? Mr. Kojima is a licensed sex machine).
Following that, things went very … peculiarly, yeah. As you can imagine we didn't (and we still don't) what you can define as a regular relationship, must of the time we spend it me shouting at him, and if I am not shouting, we are either making out, having sex, or we are just not in each other's presence. This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship, doesn't it? But it is. It is hard fro me to agree on as well but it really is, and lately I am realizing that the person who is making so much effort to make this work, is actually him.
A year after we got together, he made a credit card in my name, which was directly linked to hi own personal account; but he never told me that. I don't know why he never told me that, but I assumed he had created an account for me, and put some money in it so … I started spending (I wanted to see how much he put in it … ) I bought clothes, games, a guitar, and so much food; all things, which weren't exactly cheap. Now all of that didn't give any particular dent to his account, in fact I think it did nothing at all, but I was with him once when his financial manger called him on his cell, and the woman didn't sound too happy. When she started loudly listing the stuff, and I had caught on the guitar that I had bought, I connected the dots, and god did I screamed at him, and hit him, and kept screaming, and he bore it all, after which he simply kept watching whatever he was watching and out of the blue he firmly stated “I trust you”; I was rendered incapable to yell at him for a whole day.
Another proof of his love for me, was the 'Aki deal'. When I met Mr. Kojima, he was leaving with Aki, and another girl named Olivia, and he had been childhood friend with both of them (Olivia is the only woman he can tolerate, since he doesn't exactly acknowledges her as one), which meant they knew him way better than I did, which meant the bond he had with Aki was deeper than I thought; which made it so that jealousy became became the order of the day. So … being driven by jealousy, envy and all that good stuff … I did something questionable (or you could say downright stupid); I punched him. I got so irritated in seeing his face, in having to hear his condescending remarks, in treating my Mr. Kojima the way he did, that I just snapped; and I thought that was the end. Being Aki such an important person to him, I thought he would have broke up with me. Instead, he moved out of the house, and went and live alone “... don't get any sexual drive from this place anymore anyways” he had stated; and gave me a copy of the key. The year I entered university, I moved in with him.
“How long are you going to keep writing for? ...” he groggily asked me the other day, as I was typing the prologue for my new novel which I will entitle Pick Up Lines and Shopping Cart, sitting straight inside our bed “... what is it about anyways? ...” he then mumbled, blindly wrapping himself around my waist, as he kept laying down.
“It's the story of how we met, and all our misadventures ...” I quickly replied, thinking back at all the other things I will have to write in this book, and hope it will fit in five-hundred pages.
“The fuck .. who's gonna ant to read that? ...” he grumbled in his sleepiness, still holding me quite tightly. I lightly chuckled, he had point, compared to all my other books which had been best-sellers so far, this might not necessarily be everyone's cup of tea but I felt the necessity to tell the world, that couples that are not not like Romeo and Giulietta can still have as passionate a love; and live longer.
“Believe me Mr. Kojima ...” I replied, as I kept typing “... it makes up for a good story plot, we are not exactly your everyday couple … it will be so much fun to write, don't even need to make it interesting” I smugly stated, as he smirked, on my naked back.
“As long as you keep writing naked like this, I don't mind whatever the fuck you write ...” he whispered, and a few minutes later fell asleep, still wrapped around me.
As I said, it is sad enough when you want to forget about the first day you met your lover, and if long ago you would have asked me whether I would ever thought that a relationship like this could ever take place, I probably would have laughed so loudly for a couple of minutes, and then looked at you dead serious and replied with a solemn 'no'. Now, we are not the perfect couple, but … I am happy; I really am. Beyond the bitching, the bewilderment, and the everything else, I am really happy. Even thought he hasn't told me 'I love you', for which his reason was: You'd get angry if I said it thew way I would, and you wouldn’t' want those three words ruined, so I won't; I hadn't felt the necessity of him having to tell me I love you even once ever since.
It's been thirty years.
And I am ready and willing to go for another good rest of my life with you Mr. Kojima.
Happy Anniversary.
dedicated to my wonderfully annoying companion Kojima Masahito.
Ogata Hiroto.
♥♥♥ --- End - The Mistaken Thread--- ♥♥♥
*Onegai Shimasu literally is “I ask you for a favor” in this context is more like “I beg you!”
AN: WELL HELLO TO DAY #3
I don't know you, but I always had wanted a very very INCREDIBLY romantic love story, envied my friends that had it, and kept wishing I did. I don't have a story like this either, but I knew instances such this, with people that start of very badly, but then turn out to become some of the most beautiful couples I know. So … it may be that sometimes the hands of destiny make a mistake in matching the thread; but the thread never mistakes d(-_^ )
Next … is the Overly-Stretched Thread → Kindan - Forbidden Love (Gaaaah _(-A-!! _ ) … )
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-