Isn't It Ironic: Chapter 6 "Hooker Ghosts & Boot-Licking Acolytes"
Title: Isn’t It Ironic
Author: Luna (aka Luna_del_Cielo on lj)
Fandom: Supernatural/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cast of Characters: Xander, Gabriel, Willow, Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Angel, etc
Rating: T
Summary: The irony of the situation was not lost on anyone: Exchange one deadbeat dad for another. Life sure does have a sick sense of humor.
Read specific chapters here: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
Or all of the entire story here: A burst of smoke exploded where Snyder was standing and a moment later there was a giant rat that was four feet tall and six feet long, with a tail that was at least two and a half feet.
Hooker Ghosts & Boot-Licking Acolytes
A/N: Whoa, a huuuuge amount of time since the last update! I’m sorry but other projects ate up my attention and then my computer crashed. Not a fun time! But I read a story on ffnet by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel that was inspired by ‘Isn’t it Ironic’ and it got the juices flowing. I know this update could be longer but I’ll just try to update more often. :)
The school library tables were covered with books as Xander, Buffy, Willow, Cordelia, and Giles flipped through yellowed pages of the aged texts in hopes of finding some answer to their problems. Rat-Snyder had lasted for four days, trapped in a cage in the basement, before Cordelia tripped over his front paw and accidentally slammed her head against the rat’s. Somehow in all the chaos she had managed to accidentally kiss the furry thing on the lips and suddenly Snyder was back to being human - albeit a naked and cheese-loving human. Later that night they realized that Cordelia could see her reflection in mirrors again and Larry, besides maybe needed some counseling, appeared fine after his fairy-dressing ordeal.
Yet, while things appeared to becoming more well-ordered in the last week they still had no idea who had committed these acts and if they would strike again. With Halloween only a couple days away they definitely suspected that the culprit would strike again - hence the research.
“Oh! I might have found something!” Cordelia suddenly spoke up as her well-manicured finger jabbed at a dark sketch. “This says something about rats.”
Willow peered over her shoulder. “That’s a spell how to turn someone into a rat using Hecate’s name, not who does turn people into rats,” she commended mildly before turning back to her own leather-bound text.
“Well, maybe this goddess Hecate person is the culprit,” Cordelia sniffed. “I bet she’s totally ugly and that’s why she was jealous of my good looks.”
Buffy and Willow rolled their eyes while Xander smirked. “If anything, she’s probably just jealous of you playing the Princess and the Frog - or should I say Rat? - with Snyder, Cord,” he snickered.
“Ew!” Cordelia shivered as she self-consciously rubbed her lips - a common occurrence in the last few days. “I swear I am scarred for life!”
“Hey, at least you were so freaked you passed out during his mid-change,” Buffy glowered. “We had to see the whole Snyder show.”
“Yeah,” Xander snorted. “Now we know why Snyder’s such an angry ‘little’ man.”
“Ewww!” the girls shuddered.
“Yes, Xander. Do refrain from referencing that foul man’s genitalia,” Giles bristled. “We have a good deal of work to do and I for one would like to do so without any nausea.”
Xander snickered into his hand.
Giles paused. “What, Xander?” he asked in exasperation.
“Nothin’,” Xander shrugged. “It’s just…you said genitalia.” He snickered some more.
“Oh Lord,” Giles mumbled as he fervently began cleaning his glasses. “I do hope we can figure out this culprit before my brain leaks out of my ears.”
“Well maybe Cordy had a point,” Buffy said. Everyone stared at her in surprise, even Cordelia, but Buffy shrugged it off. “Maybe we are dealing with a witch. Last year we had to deal with Amy’s mom, Catherine Madison. Maybe there’s more?”
“Well, that is certainly a good point Buffy, and one that I’ve considered. However, the sheer power to do these acts would indicate either a highly powerful witch or a supernatural entity,” Giles mused. “First it created a Mike Tyson look-a-like to, erm,” Giles paused at the mention of what happened to Xander’s dad. “And then it made Cordelia invisible, somehow controlled Larry’s actions, and performed a major transfiguration spell on Snyder.”
“What if it’s not a witch but instead a person a witch prays to - like that Hecate person Cordelia found in that book?” Xander asked.
“No way!” Willow said quickly. “Hecate’s much classier than that!”
They all gave her a cautious or confused look. “Willow,” Giles began in the heavy chiding tone he was well-known for. “Are you studying witchcraft?”
Willow’s widow peak rose up as her eyes widened in alarm. “W-witchcraft? Me? Ha,” she laughed blithely. “Of course not!” Under Giles’ intense stare she caved. “Okay, well I just started reading about techno paganism, like what Ms. Calendar does, and then I started reading more about witchcraft and all the gods and goddesses - but just for fun! I swear!”
Giles made ‘hmm’ noise that indicated he was unsatisfied with her answer so Xander dove into the conversation to ward off more Giles’ attacks. “So why not this Hecate chick?” he asked Willow.
“Well,” she began in a ‘gosh I love knowledge and now you will too!’ voice that she so often got when teaching. “Hecate is the Greek goddess of witchcraft but she’s not malevolent - unless you get on her bad side. Even then, she’s more likely to kill you in some creative method rather than just pull elaborate trick.”
“Wait - what did you say?” Giles suddenly asked.
“Uh,” Willow licked her lips nervously. “Hecate’s not bad?”
“No, no, you called these ‘tricks’,” Giles mumbled as he got up and went to the more ‘normal’ section of the school library. Moment’s later he scattered several books across the table and began rifling through them. When he was done the Scooby Gang was looking at several pictures of various mythological gods.
“There are dozens of different pantheons created over the centuries and in different parts of the world. Regardless of their differences, they all tend to share similar characteristics. There is always a ruling god, a god of healing, of motherhood, etcetera. But also, there tends to be a Trickster,” Giles added significantly.
“You mean there’s an immortal dude whose sole role in life is to pull pranks? That is so awesome,” Xander grinned.
Giles ignored him and pointed towards the first picture. “Here in the American Southwest there is Coyote, Raven in the Pacific Northwest, Anasi of West Africa, and Loki of the Norse.”
“Ew,” Cordelia said with a crinkled nose. “So if it’s Anasi we might be fighting a giant spider?”
Xander’s mind faded from his present surroundings as he thought of the man he met in the Bronze the night his father died.
The man paused for a moment before shooting him a grin accompanied by twinkling eyes. “My friends call me Loki.”
“Loki? Weird name,” Xander chuckled. And why did that name sound familiar?
Loki laughed loudly. “Yeah, I hang around an interesting bunch of people. Besides, Xander? That’s not exactly typical.”
Oh…no. Had he been talking to his father’s murderer that night? Hot sweat began to soak into the back of his checkered-patterned blue and green shirt as he thought over their meeting. First he had noticed the fancy watch on his wrist - which now he realized the trickster guy must have put on him. (But why? What did it do?). Let’s see…then Loki had tried to buy him a drink but Xander said he wasn’t into that…and Xander really couldn’t see how their conversation would have been so meaningful that Xander had angered Loki enough to kill his dad.
“Xan-man?” Buffy waved her arm in front of him. He blinked and smiled nervously at her. “We were tryin’ to ask you - you said this trickster guy winked at you during the assembly. Any of these names ringing a bell to you?”
“Um, actually, now that you mention it…”
A middle-aged man knelt before a statue clothed only in a black robe. He chanted softly and pressed his palms together forcefully; when he opened them they revealed stigmata-like bleeding wounds. Reverently he dabbed blood on his eyelids and continued chanting. “Oh Loki, I call upon you to grant me your great power for a truly chaotic trick tonight…”
“You do realize that I’m not Johnny Cash, right?” a man snacking on a Snickers bar interrupted him with a lopsided smile. He was leaning against a tower of cardboard boxes with a very amused look on his face as Ethan Rayne straightened in alarm. “I mean, look at me.”
Ethan did look and his eyes almost exploded at the splash of color this man seemed to be wearing - khaki pants and an orange, red, and blue tropical print shirt.
“Do you really think I want my followers wearing black?” He shuddered. “That’s so fifteenth century, Pilgrim-style. Next time, wear something more colorful.” He grinned. “You should try pink.”
Ethan Rayne had to hide his revulsion at the idea that he would ever be caught dead wearing something so feminine. Then his mind kicked in and he knelt at the being’s feet. “My Lord, I do not deserve to be graced with your presence. This was most unexpected.”
A snort from above and Ethan raised his eyes to see Loki - since when did his favored lord of chaos personally appear during spells? - pick up the bust of his personage with a mild smirk. “I ‘spose this isn’t a bad image of me but next time could you try to pick up something you didn’t buy at a special needs school art fair? My face looks sloppier than LaToya Jackson’s.”
Ethan gulped. Loki was a dangerous being and it wouldn’t be wise to anger him. He really should have purchased a classier bust, he supposed. Although he was mildly surprised to hear that the Norse Trickster God was aware of pop culture figures.
Loki grinned suddenly as he watched Ethan closely. “You’re wondering how I know about LaToya, yeah?” Ethan nodded and Loki snickered. “Old trick of mine - I pulled some mitosis shit on Michael Jackson a long time ago and out popped LaToya.”
“That is…very impressive, my Lord.” Ethan really did not know what to say at that statement. It was impressive but slightly scary as well - not scary that Loki had split a person in two but that he had chosen to force yet another Jackson onto the world.
“Yeah, I know. Feel free to lick my boots at any time, servant.”
Ethan stared at Loki in surprise. He honestly wanted him to…lick his boots? But…he was Ethan Rayne!
Then again, he enjoyed being alive quite a good deal so he begrudgingly crawled over to Loki’s feet. Just when his tongue was about to touch down Loki yanked his foot away and started laughing. “Oh damn! You really thought I meant it, huh? Haha, oh Ethan. You are a funny sonofabitch. I should really visit you more often.”
Ethan schooled his features but internally he pleaded for Loki to never visit him again.
“Just for that little display of commitment I’ll grant your little request to have all the costumes bought from your shop turn people into those costumes, capisce?”
“Thank you, my Lord,” Ethan nodded gratefully.
“No problem. Besides, it’s a pretty damn good trick,” Loki smirked one last time before he winked out of existence.
To many he was known as the trickster god Loki of the Norse pantheon. It had been his identity for almost two-thousand years as he hid among the pagan gods and the humans. The old memories of his true family were still bright and painful so he tried not to think of them too often - of his Father or Michael or Lucifer. No, it was much easier for him to just be Loki - even if he still internally thought of himself as Gabriel…even if he didn’t like to think of himself as an archangel anymore.
Now Gabriel watched gleefully as the chaos unfolded over Sunnydale on the night of Halloween. He had been mildly perturbed that his spells on the Chase girl and his kid’s principal had worn off but he had learned about Ethan’s plans and that made up for everything. Tonight was going to be epic. His son was dressed as a macho army man and the slayer was a helpless damsel in distress. Sure, she was dressed for that pompous ensouled vampire but tonight his son was getting the chance to act all manly-like and protect her!
Sure, Gabriel did not approve of his son hanging out with a dangerous slayer but he saw how Xander reacted when Buffy had drowned - he loved her. So to continue with his plan of making his son’s life better, Gabriel was carefully orchestrating how to improve the kid’s love life.
Oh yeah - plus this Halloween costume deal was just hilarious as all hell.
The eye candy didn’t hurt, either. Xander’s friend Willow was dressed as a hooker ghost (was that some new pop culture thing?) and while she tried to piece things together with Xander, Buffy, and Cordelia (me-ow), Gabriel ogled the redhead.
Sue him. He had a thing for redheads.
He appreciated the way her cropped red top showed off a good deal of cleavage and toned tummy and how her black leather skirt clung to her thighs. Then there were those boots…
Gabriel shook himself out of his lust-driven stupor. While he didn’t usually sleep with humans he knew better than to get involved with the best friend of his son - who also had ‘virgin’ screaming right through her hooker ghost outfit; virgin’s were more so Zeus’ deal than his.
After a while Willow left (dammit) and Gabriel observed as Xander took charge to hunt for Buffy with Cordelia and Angel the vampire (ugh); the slayer turned eighteenth-century noblewoman had flown off in a fit of panic.
Hmm. Gabriel realized that Angel certainly was a problem when it came to the young slayer’s affections for Xander. Perhaps he should just stake him and get him out of the way? It’s not like he would deserve it - when he was bad, he was bad, and when he was good he was just broody as hell.
But then he thought of all those damn prophecies about a vampire with a soul and he sighed in annoyance. If he killed the vampire then those winged ass monkeys upstairs would likely be pissed at finding out one of their chess pieces was missing and would come searching for the culprit - and Gabriel could never let his siblings find him. For all they knew he was dead.
“Loki,” a whisper of a prayer came to him and he realized it was Ethan Rayne. Hmm. Better go see what that muttonhead was up to.
A second later he was lounging on a couch he had imported from Italy and watching as the watcher Rupert Giles beat the living shit out of Ethan. “Nice to see a watcher that likes to get his hands dirty!” Gabriel called out with his standard smirk.
Giles paused in his fit of brutality to give Gabriel a questioning look. “And just who the hell are you?” he asked coolly as his eyes narrowed.
Gabriel grinned. “I’m probably the guy you’re beating my follower up over.” He snapped his fingers and suddenly Ethan was sitting next to him on the couch. “I mean, hey, Ethan can be a real smarmy dick but he’s a good acolyte. I can’t have you beating him up like this.”
“You’re the pagan god that Ethan spoke of - Loki,” Giles nearly growled.
Jumping up onto the couch like a Scientologist on Oprah, Gabriel threw his hands up and smiled. “And we have a winner! Ding! Ding! Ding!” A spotlight suddenly shined on Giles and multi-colored balloons began falling from the ceiling.
“I command you to cease your spell this instant!” Giles shouted.
The room became silent as Loki snapped away the game show equipment and fitted Rupert Giles with a cold stare. Off to the side Ethan gave Giles a sly smirk. “It isn’t very bright to make a god angry, Ripper.”
Giles’ face flushed but he stood his ground - brave man. Stupid, but brave.
Gabriel began walking slowly towards him. “You are commanding me, mortal?”
“Your juvenile prank is putting innocent lives in harm’s way.”
“Oh please, it’ll be fine,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Besides, this is the Hellmouth - this town has seen a hell of a lot worse.”
“Do it, now!” Giles’ voice trembled with rage and Gabriel had to admire the balls on this man. He knew that Xander frequently spent time with the watcher but he didn’t know much about him. Now though? He approved.
“Okay, geez,” Loki groaned. “No need to get your panties in a twist.” A devilish smirk wove onto his face as his brain started wondering what sort of twisted panties ghost hookers wore. Then he snapped his fingers and told Rupert Giles the spell was over.
“How can I be sure you’re not lying?” Giles asked suspiciously.
“Uh, because I wouldn’t even have bothered lying to you - I would have just killed you. Probably with a giant watcher-eating book.” Gabriel laughed as he imagined a giant leather-bound book munching on Rupert Giles. Yeah…if this man ever stepped out of line that would be a classic ‘just desserts’.
“Alright then,” Giles said with a slight nod as he attempted to straighten his shoulders in an intimidating fashion.
Gabriel snorted. Humans.
He checked in on Xander later that night and saw that the boy was fine, along with his friend the slayer. The redhead was nowhere in sight, however. Mildly alarmed (it just would not do to accidentally get his son’s friend killed before a proper introduction), he began searching for her. Luckily, he found her rather quickly - walking home in her hooker outfit with a ghost sheet draped over her arm.
As he watched her he started thinking. Gabriel wasn’t stupid - he knew that Xander likely would not take his Nephilim (half-human, half-angel) heritage very well or, hell, Gabriel himself very well (and yes, okay, maybe it hadn’t been very smart to kill the boy’s stepfather in front of him but what could Gabriel say? Smiting was what he did best!). Quite frankly, Gabriel was nervous about even talking to the boy again. The Bronze had been a good test but there was certainly a fear that his son would reject him once he learned the truth.
Gabriel even thought about leaving Sunnydale and never revealing himself to Xander. After all, would he even be a good dad? It’s not like he had much of a role model for one.
Instantly shame filled him. Okay, so maybe the last couple millennia Dad went M.I.A. But those times in the beginning? Man, those were the best years of his existence. A longing for those times with his family filled his heart; he missed them all so much.
Gabriel shook it off. That family was as good as dead. Gone. But maybe he could make a new family…and maybe he just needed some help.
Willow smiled cheerfully as she walked through her empty house (her parents were at a research conference) and made her way up to the bedroom. She couldn’t help but admire herself in her rectangular mirror. Maybe Buffy had been a little bit right - it was kind of fun to dress like this. Of course, just as a one-time deal - she could not imagine wearing this in public again when people would actually remember. “No way could I wear this again,” she whispered; slightly sternly but with an edge of regret as well.
“Why not? If I was you I’d wear that outfit every day!” a male voice spoke up behind her.
Willow shrieked and pivoted to see a man lying on his side on her bed. He appeared to be in his mid-thirties, slightly tanned with golden highlights, and his eyes twinkled mischievously. Quicker than a box of Twinkies lasts around Xander, Willow grabbed a cross and a stake off of her desk. “Get out, demon!”
The man’s only reaction was a slight smirk. “You do realize that vampires have to be invited in? Ergo, I am not a vampire.”
“Well you’re not human either…and even if you were, you’d obviously be some sort of sex pervert so I’d be fine staking you regardless!” Willow declared in a strong voice that hid the fear she felt.
Laughing, the man sat up on her bed. “Don’t worry Willow; I’m not here to kill you. In fact, I was just hoping we could become friends. I’m Loki.”
The color washed away from her as she hurriedly dumped a bad onto her desk and pulled out a vial of dark liquid. Within moments she splashed the liquid onto the edge of the stake and held it aloft. “D-don’t think I’m not prepared,” she stuttered nervously. “I’ve read all about you and know that a stake dipped in human blood can kill you.”
She watched as Loki observed her with amused amber eyes. “Is that so? Then by all means - go ahead.”
A/N:
Xander will meet dear ‘ol dad soon, no worries.
Thank you for reading and please review!
Author: Luna (aka Luna_del_Cielo on lj)
Fandom: Supernatural/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cast of Characters: Xander, Gabriel, Willow, Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Angel, etc
Rating: T
Summary: The irony of the situation was not lost on anyone: Exchange one deadbeat dad for another. Life sure does have a sick sense of humor.
Read specific chapters here: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
Or all of the entire story here: A burst of smoke exploded where Snyder was standing and a moment later there was a giant rat that was four feet tall and six feet long, with a tail that was at least two and a half feet.
Hooker Ghosts & Boot-Licking Acolytes
A/N: Whoa, a huuuuge amount of time since the last update! I’m sorry but other projects ate up my attention and then my computer crashed. Not a fun time! But I read a story on ffnet by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel that was inspired by ‘Isn’t it Ironic’ and it got the juices flowing. I know this update could be longer but I’ll just try to update more often. :)
The school library tables were covered with books as Xander, Buffy, Willow, Cordelia, and Giles flipped through yellowed pages of the aged texts in hopes of finding some answer to their problems. Rat-Snyder had lasted for four days, trapped in a cage in the basement, before Cordelia tripped over his front paw and accidentally slammed her head against the rat’s. Somehow in all the chaos she had managed to accidentally kiss the furry thing on the lips and suddenly Snyder was back to being human - albeit a naked and cheese-loving human. Later that night they realized that Cordelia could see her reflection in mirrors again and Larry, besides maybe needed some counseling, appeared fine after his fairy-dressing ordeal.
Yet, while things appeared to becoming more well-ordered in the last week they still had no idea who had committed these acts and if they would strike again. With Halloween only a couple days away they definitely suspected that the culprit would strike again - hence the research.
“Oh! I might have found something!” Cordelia suddenly spoke up as her well-manicured finger jabbed at a dark sketch. “This says something about rats.”
Willow peered over her shoulder. “That’s a spell how to turn someone into a rat using Hecate’s name, not who does turn people into rats,” she commended mildly before turning back to her own leather-bound text.
“Well, maybe this goddess Hecate person is the culprit,” Cordelia sniffed. “I bet she’s totally ugly and that’s why she was jealous of my good looks.”
Buffy and Willow rolled their eyes while Xander smirked. “If anything, she’s probably just jealous of you playing the Princess and the Frog - or should I say Rat? - with Snyder, Cord,” he snickered.
“Ew!” Cordelia shivered as she self-consciously rubbed her lips - a common occurrence in the last few days. “I swear I am scarred for life!”
“Hey, at least you were so freaked you passed out during his mid-change,” Buffy glowered. “We had to see the whole Snyder show.”
“Yeah,” Xander snorted. “Now we know why Snyder’s such an angry ‘little’ man.”
“Ewww!” the girls shuddered.
“Yes, Xander. Do refrain from referencing that foul man’s genitalia,” Giles bristled. “We have a good deal of work to do and I for one would like to do so without any nausea.”
Xander snickered into his hand.
Giles paused. “What, Xander?” he asked in exasperation.
“Nothin’,” Xander shrugged. “It’s just…you said genitalia.” He snickered some more.
“Oh Lord,” Giles mumbled as he fervently began cleaning his glasses. “I do hope we can figure out this culprit before my brain leaks out of my ears.”
“Well maybe Cordy had a point,” Buffy said. Everyone stared at her in surprise, even Cordelia, but Buffy shrugged it off. “Maybe we are dealing with a witch. Last year we had to deal with Amy’s mom, Catherine Madison. Maybe there’s more?”
“Well, that is certainly a good point Buffy, and one that I’ve considered. However, the sheer power to do these acts would indicate either a highly powerful witch or a supernatural entity,” Giles mused. “First it created a Mike Tyson look-a-like to, erm,” Giles paused at the mention of what happened to Xander’s dad. “And then it made Cordelia invisible, somehow controlled Larry’s actions, and performed a major transfiguration spell on Snyder.”
“What if it’s not a witch but instead a person a witch prays to - like that Hecate person Cordelia found in that book?” Xander asked.
“No way!” Willow said quickly. “Hecate’s much classier than that!”
They all gave her a cautious or confused look. “Willow,” Giles began in the heavy chiding tone he was well-known for. “Are you studying witchcraft?”
Willow’s widow peak rose up as her eyes widened in alarm. “W-witchcraft? Me? Ha,” she laughed blithely. “Of course not!” Under Giles’ intense stare she caved. “Okay, well I just started reading about techno paganism, like what Ms. Calendar does, and then I started reading more about witchcraft and all the gods and goddesses - but just for fun! I swear!”
Giles made ‘hmm’ noise that indicated he was unsatisfied with her answer so Xander dove into the conversation to ward off more Giles’ attacks. “So why not this Hecate chick?” he asked Willow.
“Well,” she began in a ‘gosh I love knowledge and now you will too!’ voice that she so often got when teaching. “Hecate is the Greek goddess of witchcraft but she’s not malevolent - unless you get on her bad side. Even then, she’s more likely to kill you in some creative method rather than just pull elaborate trick.”
“Wait - what did you say?” Giles suddenly asked.
“Uh,” Willow licked her lips nervously. “Hecate’s not bad?”
“No, no, you called these ‘tricks’,” Giles mumbled as he got up and went to the more ‘normal’ section of the school library. Moment’s later he scattered several books across the table and began rifling through them. When he was done the Scooby Gang was looking at several pictures of various mythological gods.
“There are dozens of different pantheons created over the centuries and in different parts of the world. Regardless of their differences, they all tend to share similar characteristics. There is always a ruling god, a god of healing, of motherhood, etcetera. But also, there tends to be a Trickster,” Giles added significantly.
“You mean there’s an immortal dude whose sole role in life is to pull pranks? That is so awesome,” Xander grinned.
Giles ignored him and pointed towards the first picture. “Here in the American Southwest there is Coyote, Raven in the Pacific Northwest, Anasi of West Africa, and Loki of the Norse.”
“Ew,” Cordelia said with a crinkled nose. “So if it’s Anasi we might be fighting a giant spider?”
Xander’s mind faded from his present surroundings as he thought of the man he met in the Bronze the night his father died.
The man paused for a moment before shooting him a grin accompanied by twinkling eyes. “My friends call me Loki.”
“Loki? Weird name,” Xander chuckled. And why did that name sound familiar?
Loki laughed loudly. “Yeah, I hang around an interesting bunch of people. Besides, Xander? That’s not exactly typical.”
Oh…no. Had he been talking to his father’s murderer that night? Hot sweat began to soak into the back of his checkered-patterned blue and green shirt as he thought over their meeting. First he had noticed the fancy watch on his wrist - which now he realized the trickster guy must have put on him. (But why? What did it do?). Let’s see…then Loki had tried to buy him a drink but Xander said he wasn’t into that…and Xander really couldn’t see how their conversation would have been so meaningful that Xander had angered Loki enough to kill his dad.
“Xan-man?” Buffy waved her arm in front of him. He blinked and smiled nervously at her. “We were tryin’ to ask you - you said this trickster guy winked at you during the assembly. Any of these names ringing a bell to you?”
“Um, actually, now that you mention it…”
A middle-aged man knelt before a statue clothed only in a black robe. He chanted softly and pressed his palms together forcefully; when he opened them they revealed stigmata-like bleeding wounds. Reverently he dabbed blood on his eyelids and continued chanting. “Oh Loki, I call upon you to grant me your great power for a truly chaotic trick tonight…”
“You do realize that I’m not Johnny Cash, right?” a man snacking on a Snickers bar interrupted him with a lopsided smile. He was leaning against a tower of cardboard boxes with a very amused look on his face as Ethan Rayne straightened in alarm. “I mean, look at me.”
Ethan did look and his eyes almost exploded at the splash of color this man seemed to be wearing - khaki pants and an orange, red, and blue tropical print shirt.
“Do you really think I want my followers wearing black?” He shuddered. “That’s so fifteenth century, Pilgrim-style. Next time, wear something more colorful.” He grinned. “You should try pink.”
Ethan Rayne had to hide his revulsion at the idea that he would ever be caught dead wearing something so feminine. Then his mind kicked in and he knelt at the being’s feet. “My Lord, I do not deserve to be graced with your presence. This was most unexpected.”
A snort from above and Ethan raised his eyes to see Loki - since when did his favored lord of chaos personally appear during spells? - pick up the bust of his personage with a mild smirk. “I ‘spose this isn’t a bad image of me but next time could you try to pick up something you didn’t buy at a special needs school art fair? My face looks sloppier than LaToya Jackson’s.”
Ethan gulped. Loki was a dangerous being and it wouldn’t be wise to anger him. He really should have purchased a classier bust, he supposed. Although he was mildly surprised to hear that the Norse Trickster God was aware of pop culture figures.
Loki grinned suddenly as he watched Ethan closely. “You’re wondering how I know about LaToya, yeah?” Ethan nodded and Loki snickered. “Old trick of mine - I pulled some mitosis shit on Michael Jackson a long time ago and out popped LaToya.”
“That is…very impressive, my Lord.” Ethan really did not know what to say at that statement. It was impressive but slightly scary as well - not scary that Loki had split a person in two but that he had chosen to force yet another Jackson onto the world.
“Yeah, I know. Feel free to lick my boots at any time, servant.”
Ethan stared at Loki in surprise. He honestly wanted him to…lick his boots? But…he was Ethan Rayne!
Then again, he enjoyed being alive quite a good deal so he begrudgingly crawled over to Loki’s feet. Just when his tongue was about to touch down Loki yanked his foot away and started laughing. “Oh damn! You really thought I meant it, huh? Haha, oh Ethan. You are a funny sonofabitch. I should really visit you more often.”
Ethan schooled his features but internally he pleaded for Loki to never visit him again.
“Just for that little display of commitment I’ll grant your little request to have all the costumes bought from your shop turn people into those costumes, capisce?”
“Thank you, my Lord,” Ethan nodded gratefully.
“No problem. Besides, it’s a pretty damn good trick,” Loki smirked one last time before he winked out of existence.
To many he was known as the trickster god Loki of the Norse pantheon. It had been his identity for almost two-thousand years as he hid among the pagan gods and the humans. The old memories of his true family were still bright and painful so he tried not to think of them too often - of his Father or Michael or Lucifer. No, it was much easier for him to just be Loki - even if he still internally thought of himself as Gabriel…even if he didn’t like to think of himself as an archangel anymore.
Now Gabriel watched gleefully as the chaos unfolded over Sunnydale on the night of Halloween. He had been mildly perturbed that his spells on the Chase girl and his kid’s principal had worn off but he had learned about Ethan’s plans and that made up for everything. Tonight was going to be epic. His son was dressed as a macho army man and the slayer was a helpless damsel in distress. Sure, she was dressed for that pompous ensouled vampire but tonight his son was getting the chance to act all manly-like and protect her!
Sure, Gabriel did not approve of his son hanging out with a dangerous slayer but he saw how Xander reacted when Buffy had drowned - he loved her. So to continue with his plan of making his son’s life better, Gabriel was carefully orchestrating how to improve the kid’s love life.
Oh yeah - plus this Halloween costume deal was just hilarious as all hell.
The eye candy didn’t hurt, either. Xander’s friend Willow was dressed as a hooker ghost (was that some new pop culture thing?) and while she tried to piece things together with Xander, Buffy, and Cordelia (me-ow), Gabriel ogled the redhead.
Sue him. He had a thing for redheads.
He appreciated the way her cropped red top showed off a good deal of cleavage and toned tummy and how her black leather skirt clung to her thighs. Then there were those boots…
Gabriel shook himself out of his lust-driven stupor. While he didn’t usually sleep with humans he knew better than to get involved with the best friend of his son - who also had ‘virgin’ screaming right through her hooker ghost outfit; virgin’s were more so Zeus’ deal than his.
After a while Willow left (dammit) and Gabriel observed as Xander took charge to hunt for Buffy with Cordelia and Angel the vampire (ugh); the slayer turned eighteenth-century noblewoman had flown off in a fit of panic.
Hmm. Gabriel realized that Angel certainly was a problem when it came to the young slayer’s affections for Xander. Perhaps he should just stake him and get him out of the way? It’s not like he would deserve it - when he was bad, he was bad, and when he was good he was just broody as hell.
But then he thought of all those damn prophecies about a vampire with a soul and he sighed in annoyance. If he killed the vampire then those winged ass monkeys upstairs would likely be pissed at finding out one of their chess pieces was missing and would come searching for the culprit - and Gabriel could never let his siblings find him. For all they knew he was dead.
“Loki,” a whisper of a prayer came to him and he realized it was Ethan Rayne. Hmm. Better go see what that muttonhead was up to.
A second later he was lounging on a couch he had imported from Italy and watching as the watcher Rupert Giles beat the living shit out of Ethan. “Nice to see a watcher that likes to get his hands dirty!” Gabriel called out with his standard smirk.
Giles paused in his fit of brutality to give Gabriel a questioning look. “And just who the hell are you?” he asked coolly as his eyes narrowed.
Gabriel grinned. “I’m probably the guy you’re beating my follower up over.” He snapped his fingers and suddenly Ethan was sitting next to him on the couch. “I mean, hey, Ethan can be a real smarmy dick but he’s a good acolyte. I can’t have you beating him up like this.”
“You’re the pagan god that Ethan spoke of - Loki,” Giles nearly growled.
Jumping up onto the couch like a Scientologist on Oprah, Gabriel threw his hands up and smiled. “And we have a winner! Ding! Ding! Ding!” A spotlight suddenly shined on Giles and multi-colored balloons began falling from the ceiling.
“I command you to cease your spell this instant!” Giles shouted.
The room became silent as Loki snapped away the game show equipment and fitted Rupert Giles with a cold stare. Off to the side Ethan gave Giles a sly smirk. “It isn’t very bright to make a god angry, Ripper.”
Giles’ face flushed but he stood his ground - brave man. Stupid, but brave.
Gabriel began walking slowly towards him. “You are commanding me, mortal?”
“Your juvenile prank is putting innocent lives in harm’s way.”
“Oh please, it’ll be fine,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Besides, this is the Hellmouth - this town has seen a hell of a lot worse.”
“Do it, now!” Giles’ voice trembled with rage and Gabriel had to admire the balls on this man. He knew that Xander frequently spent time with the watcher but he didn’t know much about him. Now though? He approved.
“Okay, geez,” Loki groaned. “No need to get your panties in a twist.” A devilish smirk wove onto his face as his brain started wondering what sort of twisted panties ghost hookers wore. Then he snapped his fingers and told Rupert Giles the spell was over.
“How can I be sure you’re not lying?” Giles asked suspiciously.
“Uh, because I wouldn’t even have bothered lying to you - I would have just killed you. Probably with a giant watcher-eating book.” Gabriel laughed as he imagined a giant leather-bound book munching on Rupert Giles. Yeah…if this man ever stepped out of line that would be a classic ‘just desserts’.
“Alright then,” Giles said with a slight nod as he attempted to straighten his shoulders in an intimidating fashion.
Gabriel snorted. Humans.
He checked in on Xander later that night and saw that the boy was fine, along with his friend the slayer. The redhead was nowhere in sight, however. Mildly alarmed (it just would not do to accidentally get his son’s friend killed before a proper introduction), he began searching for her. Luckily, he found her rather quickly - walking home in her hooker outfit with a ghost sheet draped over her arm.
As he watched her he started thinking. Gabriel wasn’t stupid - he knew that Xander likely would not take his Nephilim (half-human, half-angel) heritage very well or, hell, Gabriel himself very well (and yes, okay, maybe it hadn’t been very smart to kill the boy’s stepfather in front of him but what could Gabriel say? Smiting was what he did best!). Quite frankly, Gabriel was nervous about even talking to the boy again. The Bronze had been a good test but there was certainly a fear that his son would reject him once he learned the truth.
Gabriel even thought about leaving Sunnydale and never revealing himself to Xander. After all, would he even be a good dad? It’s not like he had much of a role model for one.
Instantly shame filled him. Okay, so maybe the last couple millennia Dad went M.I.A. But those times in the beginning? Man, those were the best years of his existence. A longing for those times with his family filled his heart; he missed them all so much.
Gabriel shook it off. That family was as good as dead. Gone. But maybe he could make a new family…and maybe he just needed some help.
Willow smiled cheerfully as she walked through her empty house (her parents were at a research conference) and made her way up to the bedroom. She couldn’t help but admire herself in her rectangular mirror. Maybe Buffy had been a little bit right - it was kind of fun to dress like this. Of course, just as a one-time deal - she could not imagine wearing this in public again when people would actually remember. “No way could I wear this again,” she whispered; slightly sternly but with an edge of regret as well.
“Why not? If I was you I’d wear that outfit every day!” a male voice spoke up behind her.
Willow shrieked and pivoted to see a man lying on his side on her bed. He appeared to be in his mid-thirties, slightly tanned with golden highlights, and his eyes twinkled mischievously. Quicker than a box of Twinkies lasts around Xander, Willow grabbed a cross and a stake off of her desk. “Get out, demon!”
The man’s only reaction was a slight smirk. “You do realize that vampires have to be invited in? Ergo, I am not a vampire.”
“Well you’re not human either…and even if you were, you’d obviously be some sort of sex pervert so I’d be fine staking you regardless!” Willow declared in a strong voice that hid the fear she felt.
Laughing, the man sat up on her bed. “Don’t worry Willow; I’m not here to kill you. In fact, I was just hoping we could become friends. I’m Loki.”
The color washed away from her as she hurriedly dumped a bad onto her desk and pulled out a vial of dark liquid. Within moments she splashed the liquid onto the edge of the stake and held it aloft. “D-don’t think I’m not prepared,” she stuttered nervously. “I’ve read all about you and know that a stake dipped in human blood can kill you.”
She watched as Loki observed her with amused amber eyes. “Is that so? Then by all means - go ahead.”
A/N:
Xander will meet dear ‘ol dad soon, no worries.
Thank you for reading and please review!