"Singularity" Chapter 34: "Guilty Pleasures" [34/49]
Title: "Singularity" Chapter 34: "Guilty Pleasures" [34/49]
Fandom: The Last of Us (first game only)
Characters: Ellie, Joel, Tommy, Maria, OCs
Pairings: Joel/Ellie
Warnings: Underage
Word Count for this chapter: 9,720
Rating (for fic as a whole): R
Author's Note: FYI due to vacation plans, the next chapter will be going up a little later than normal -- no more than one week later.
~
Over the next couple of weeks, Ellie settled back into something resembling her old weekly routine at Jackson: mornings at the farm, afternoons at the library, with two or three days off from each. She and Joel were folded into the schedule for May, and they were usually given weekends off together. Shifts were fairly short for everyone where possible (well, Joel said they were short: to him, anything less than eight hours was “nothin’ ”). The person who had taken over her cataloging project at the library had fucked it all up, as far as Ellie could tell, so she had made no real progress to speak of there (plus, she still got distracted by the books sometimes... that was part of the fun). It wasn't on the calendar, so she could basically work on it whenever she felt like it, but she liked to work that around her scheduled story time with the kids. That particular schedule was posted where the kids could see it, and some of them had told her they liked her days the best, so she never traded shifts with anyone -- only covered for others if they asked her to.
Dinners typically alternated between the farm, Tommy and Maria's, and at home with Joel. When Joel did his fourth-shift guard duty (which he still stubbornly referred to as 'second shift,' even though she'd told him repeatedly why this made no sense), she sometimes ate dinner elsewhere, like at Karen's house, or Chelsea's -- and she especially enjoyed Chelsea's when all the daycare kids were there. Ellie would've liked to have dinner with Clicker, too, but he never invited her, even when she dropped very not-subtle hints. Which was fine... she wasn't in the habit of inviting people over, either. When she and Joel ate at home, that was precious alone time, and she didn't want to share him with anyone! Joel seemed to feel the same way, because he never invited anyone over for dinner, either. Their house was really small. Only one other person could join them at the table by bringing over the desk chair; anyone extra would have to go sit on the couch or something. Dinners at Tommy and Maria's were usually just limited to the four of them now, and Ellie could understand why they'd put an end to the chaos of old: the baby caused enough chaos of his own!
She did babysit from time to time, just for short periods -- sometimes when Maria was home, even. Like if Maria wanted to get chores done uninterrupted, or attend to some town business... maybe go to the store, or visit with a friend. One time, Maria just really wanted to take a nap, and Grayson didn't. So Ellie had soothed and played with him, and eventually gotten him to fall asleep in her lap, just like he'd done that night she and Joel babysat him... when the three of them had been all snuggled up together on the couch. Joel might act like he couldn't care less about bonding with his nephew... but I KNOW he enjoyed that! Sometimes, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Grayson when he cried -- he just wanted to be held. Ellie couldn't blame the kid for not wanting to be alone in his crib, especially when the room was dark (night lights could only do so much, really). Joel had tried to take him from her that night and put him to bed, but she refused to allow that, because what if he woke up and got scared when he realized he was alone? As long as he was happily sleeping in her arms, that was where he needed to stay. Joel had thought she was being a little ridiculous... that it wasn't mean of them to put him in his crib... but he hadn't fought her too hard on it.
Ellie slowly got accustomed to spending more time apart from Joel again. She still went riding with Annie sometimes (although she sorely missed Spirit when she did), and Meredith never joined them for that. The girl seemed to respect that it was their thing. Ellie was grateful for this, even though she was starting to not mind Meredith so much. She didn't feel like they would ever be besties or anything like that, but she didn't dislike her. And, despite Joel accusing her of being jealous, Ellie was truly happy that Annie had found a friend that she liked so much... someone she could spend time with when Ellie wasn't around. Someone who wasn't Jacob. Ellie really wished she could go spy on Christine some more and see if she could do anything to help Annie out with Colton, but try as she might, she couldn't get Joel to agree to take another trip out to Farm 4. He said there was no need, and he didn't understand why she was so eager to go (Ellie kept her promise to Annie and didn't say anything about her motives).
Secretly, she was beginning to think it just wasn't meant to be for those two anyway. What kind of romance could they really have? She knew there was such a thing as long distance relationships, but in this case, she didn't see how it could work since they hadn't even been a couple when the distance happened, and now they never saw each other at all. At least Annie didn't seem too broken up about it; it was almost like she was content to think about what might have been -- or what might be, if Colton ever moved back? -- and leave it at that. Maybe it just felt good to have someone to think about who wasn't that lying cheating douchebag Jacob.
Ellie also continued to play video games with Clicker, and his new bestie, Wyatt -- and he even brought her into his D&D game (campaign, is what they called it). My purple-haired gnome cleric rocks! She had already resurrected another character and everything. That was Ellie's favorite skill -- one she wished that she could learn to use in real life.
She attended a few play rehearsals, just for fun... but since Alyssa kept giving her the stink eye (even when all she did was sit and watch quietly! Which is what she did most of the fucking time she was there anyways!), she figured maybe she ought to not do that anymore. Not that a thirteen-year-old girl was intimidating or anything, just... Ellie did feel kind of bad for her. Clicker continued to say that she wasn't his girlfriend (and from what Ellie could see, he was telling the truth), but the girl didn't seem to realize this. Or maybe she just refused to accept it. There was a possessive air about her, when it came to Clicker... possibly only where Ellie was concerned, though, because Ellie noticed that she didn't flip her shit over the Dorothy actress touching him and stuff. Then again, maybe she doesn't view eleven-year-old Mia as a threat? Even though she's closer to their age than I am! Alyssa didn't even need to attend most of the rehearsals, being a mere munchkin herself -- and not one with a speaking role, at that -- but if Clicker was there, she was there. And, Ellie had to admit, the girl had more of a right to be there than Ellie did. The fact that Alyssa was Jacob's sister certainly didn't help matters, but Ellie got the distinct impression the girl's loathing of her had more to do with Clicker than her asshat brother.
Ellie could have, perhaps, tried a little harder to be nice to her...
"Ellie, why do you keep coming to rehearsal? You're not even IN the play."
"...I don't go to ALL of them. I just like to watch sometimes. It's fun, seeing how everything comes together."
"Well, you're just a distraction. You don't need to be here."
"A distraction? I'm not even doing anything!"
"Cordy knows you're here. It's affecting his performance."
"Uh... okay? I think he's doing just fine. The only reason he looked at me after that... brain song part... was cuz he fucked it up when we rehearsed together. I'm glad he's--"
"Wait -- what do you mean WHEN YOU REHEARSED TOGETHER?"
"...Just what it sounds like? We rehearsed... together... the other night. He didn't tell you? I just read off his script, he had his--"
"At NIGHT?!"
"Yeah. I offered to help out, and he came over."
"But -- you're -- ugh, you're not even IN it!"
"Yeah, you mentioned that already. There's no rule that a friend can't help another friend with his lines."
"But he doesn't need you to! I can help him with that!"
"Well... maybe he doesn't wanna rub it in that you're nothing but a munchkin? With no lines of your own? He's just being considerate of your feelings."
"Yeah right! You're trying to steal him away from me!"
"Hey, calm down -- I don't think you want him coming over here, do you? And that's ridiculous. How can I steal him away from you... when you don't even HAVE him? I mean..."
"Shut up! He's my boyfriend, okay? Just because he doesn't like to be all grope-y in public doesn't mean--"
"Oooookay... sure, I guess that's all it is..."
"He's shy!"
"...Uh-huh. SHY. Yep, that's the first word that comes to mind about Clicker, not friendly... outgoing... funny..."
"He can be that stuff and still be shy about girls. DUH."
"Yeah, I guess. He's not shy with ME, but..."
"You're not-- WITH him, like a girl!"
"Of course not. I'm too busy sucking Joel's dick, remember? You're the one who started spreading that shit all--"
"It wasn't me!"
"My bad -- it was your brother and his whore girlfriend who started it. But they made sure you told all your little friends... which version was your favorite? The one where Joel makes me, or the one where I'm a slut who will blow anyone who asks? ...I'm guessing it's the second one. No wonder you're worried about me being around Clicker. I mean, I can't help myself... I might accidentally find his dick in my-- --hey, where are you going? ...Nice talking to you!"
Ellie's mouth could get her in trouble sometimes (...and not from being wrapped around Joel's dick, unfortunately). She hoped that little exchange didn't make its way back to Joel somehow, because she could hear the lecture already. Ellie hadn't felt bad about it (because fuck that little twat) until she'd had to confess to Clicker that she may have mentioned them rehearsing together in private, and he'd gotten a little pissy about it. She hadn't meant to make things more difficult between him and Alyssa (besides, if she wasn't his girlfriend, why should he care if she knew about it? ...right?!). In fact, she thought it might help him out, if he was trying to get rid of her and she just wasn't taking the hint. Ellie was doing him a favor! But he didn't seem to see it that way. She decided it would be better to just steer clear of rehearsals, going forward... and to never interfere when she saw Clicker and Alyssa together. Like some nights in the library... if he approached her, fine -- she wasn't going to be a dick to him. But usually she went there with Joel, and if Joel was willing to watch a movie with her, he generally didn't pick the same one those two were watching. If Joel wasn't game, and Ellie really wanted to watch the same movie Clicker was watching, she could always sit next to someone else. One of the Idaho newbies, Ruben, always beckoned her over when he saw her; they had gotten to like each other pretty quickly (and not like that, of course... he was just cool to pal around with down at the farm).
Joel's not crazy about him, though... he was wary of any guy who was nice to her, naturally -- he was just paranoid like that. At the ripe old age of twenty-four, she figured Ruben should at least be exempt from his theory that teenage boys were nothing but bundles of testosterone who couldn't control their lust around girls. Then again... Max was twenty-eight now, and Joel still didn't--
No, Max is different. He just straight up pisses Joel off... but I'm pretty sure Joel's not worried about him being "inappropriate" with me. There were two Maxes in town now. One of Ellie's favorite new things to do to annoy Joel was to casually mention 'Max' but not identify which one, wait for his expression to sour or for him to tense up... he might even say something mean that Max didn't deserve... and then she'd sweetly tell him that no, she was in fact referring to the new Max. Who was only seventeen, and thus, should have been more cause for concern, really, by Joel's ridiculous standards -- and the fact that he already had a girlfriend didn't even matter. Ellie wondered if she should perhaps employ 'the Parker method': just tell Joel that she was pretty sure so-and-so was gay (no matter who she was talking about -- yep, they're all gay! Every boy I've met!). Someone could be gay and still have a girlfriend, if the boy hadn't yet figured it out for himself, so anyone was fair game for this tactic. How long could she get away with that before Joel caught on? Parker had indeed been gay, after all -- or at least bi -- which should lend credibility to her gaydar.
Ellie did find herself thinking about Parker from time to time. She wondered how he was doing... whether or not he hated her guts now... had she screwed everything up for him? The only one she could really speculate with was Joel, and he wasn't very tolerant of it for long. He'd tell her it was best not to worry about shit like that. That she should just try to put it out of her mind. Joel certainly seemed to have no problem with not looking back. She envied him that sometimes.
Generally, though, Ellie wasn't inclined to look back much herself. She had so much to look forward to! Especially with Joel. It was less than two years now until they could quit hiding their relationship... which still seemed like forever, but it was less forever-ish than like... a year ago. Okay, so more like ten months ago... we weren't even a couple a year ago! Their ten-month anniversary was this upcoming Sunday. She had figured they may as well make it an anniversary weekend -- as in, spending the majority of it in bed -- and she'd said as much to Joel, several times. He had teased her about his very busy social life and said it was a good thing she kept reminding him not to make plans because his calendar was filling right up. (He also seemed to be using it as an excuse not to have sex with her, like he wanted to 'save up' or something? But since she was actually planning on coaxing as much sex out of him as she could this weekend, she didn't push it.)
So when Joel had casually announced Friday night that he was working the next day -- on his day off! -- Ellie had been furious.
"How could you do that, Joel?!"
"I didn't PLAN on it. We just didn't finish before the kids got out of school--"
"I could've babysat them so you guys could finish! You should've told me!"
"How could I tell you when I didn' know ahead of time?"
"Well -- why can't you just finish on Monday?"
"...We could, I s'pose, but the weather's been cooperatin' this week... when Craig asked us if we could put in a couple hours tomorrow to finish up, I couldn't think of a good reason to say no."
"COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD REASON? Uggghhhh!"
"Oh, I'm sorry -- you're right. I should've told him I planned on spendin' the whole weekend in bed with my sixteen-year-old girlfriend."
"You could've said... literally ANYTHING else. How about 'fuck you, it's my day off so why don't you let someone else do it'?"
"Sure. 'Cause as you know, they ride us real hard around here. It's rough, workin' six whole hours in a day. IF that -- plenty of times we finish early, or have to stop early for some other reason. Besides, you know I like to finish what I start. That's much more satisfyin' than leavin' it to--"
"You wanna work tomorrow so you can feel SATISFIED?! Seriously, Joel?"
"You're cute. It's a different kind of satisfied an' you know it."
"What I KNOW is you're blowing me off to go be with a bunch of dudes, when you could be with ME."
"Not 'a bunch,' just a couple. And one of 'em is Shelly, actually."
"That's even worse! Blowing me off on our anniversary to be with another woman!"
"...At least her name sounds kinda like yours."
"Yeah -- like, why doesn't she just go by her real name? 'Michelle' is a perfectly nice name."
"Right -- I'm sure she's doin' it just to offend you. Anyhow, it ain't our anniversary yet -- and our REAL one ain't for another couple of months. Forget it, kiddo -- you ain't changin' my mind. Don't look at me like that... it ain't that big a deal. From Saturday afternoon 'til Monday mornin', I'm all yours."
"Afternoon? Can't you just get it done in the morning? If it's only a couple hours..."
"Startin' at noon. That worked out better for Bo 'cause he's got late guard duty on--"
"FIIIIIIIINE. I'll just make it VERY hard for you to get out of bed tomorrow, that's all."
"...You know I don't like that when I have to go to work after. You KNOW that. I ain't exactly a spring chicken no more--"
"Okay okay! Fuck! Why don't we just cancel the whole thing then? I mean why even bother? You obviously don't even want to be with me anyway!"
"Aww, baby girl, don't be like that."
"Like what?! Just saying it how it is!"
"Let me make it up to you. I'll do whatever you want, when I get home. All right?"
"...ANYthing I want?"
"Yep. You name it. Other than... things I ain't comfortable with."
"Which is like EVERYTHING!"
"No -- that one specific thing is off limits. Anything else goes."
~Specifically~, she knew he meant going down on him. But Ellie was okay with that. He had let her do it for a minute once... and any time she had attempted it since, he had... gently declined. Granted, she hadn't tried very hard; she felt weird about it because it so obviously made him uncomfortable that she felt like too much of an asshole if she pushed the issue. It really wasn't that big a deal -- they were having sex now, and wasn't that a million times better anyway?! She had no cause for complaint. She would eventually persuade him to let her do it again -- and to let her finish the job next time. ...Mr. I Like To Finish What I START!
Anyway, she was also okay with it because she had a better idea... one that made her giggle with glee just imagining it!
To kick things off, she acted a bit cool towards him Saturday morning. Like she couldn't care less that he was leaving. In fact, she left the house before he did, and huffily told him not to expect her to be home when he got back. She truly did not mind that he would be gone for such a short time, but given that she could be a bit... well... theatrical, sometimes?... she knew he would buy her little act. He had apologized and tried to be sweet to her with kisses and stuff, but she acted like she was immune to all of that. At one point, she thought he might have been about to blow off the whole work thing just to appease her -- and now she actually didn't want him to blow it off! -- so, right before she headed out, she smiled and kissed him and told him it was okay, as long as he was hers the rest of the weekend, and she would just look forward to him finishing the job and coming home.
She hadn't planned on going anywhere that day, and she didn't really want to run into anyone she might have to explain herself to, so she just went for a walk. She wished she had thought to ask where he would be working, so she could go there and stake the place out to see when he got there and when he was about to leave, but it didn't really matter. She ducked into the library occasionally to check the time (and only to check the time -- she didn't want to get pulled into a game or something, so she didn't linger), and when she saw it was nearly one o'clock, she figured she'd better head on home.
Ellie thought about hanging out outside, like around the side of the house... if she sat still long enough, the motion detector lights would fail to detect her motion, and shut themselves off... but so far, every time they'd arrived home together, Joel had 'done a lap' around the house. Didn't matter if it was day or night. Curious though she was to see if he would do it when she wasn't with him -- because she knew he prioritized her safety over his own -- she couldn't risk being discovered. Once he got inside, though, his guard would be lowered, and she'd probably be safe.
If only the house were just a teensy bit bigger!
She didn't fit under the bed (which was fine... she'd had enough of hiding under beds after hiding under Sophie's!). She could possibly hide behind the arm of the sofa closest to the wall, but if Joel decided to go sit over there, there was no way he wouldn't see her, or maybe even just sense her with that uncanny ability of his. The back of the sofa was against the wall, so she couldn't just stealthily move around the thing to avoid detection if necessary. She did fit under the coffee table (barely), but again, if Joel decided to go sit on the sofa... The kitchen might have had possibilities, as she could fit inside a couple of the larger cabinets... but there was stuff inside them, which she would have to remove and find other temporary homes for, and if she was going to do that, she might as well just find another place herself.
In the end, she settled on the bedroom closet. The hall closet was actually the best option, as far as minimizing the risk of being discovered, but there was no light in there, and the last thing she needed was to have a panic attack because it was dark. Suffocation also would not be ideal -- nor would dying of boredom from just standing there for what might end up being a couple hours! So, the bedroom closet it was. Thankfully, the guitar wasn't in there like it sometimes was... like it had been that very morning, if she remembered correctly? She wondered if Joel was planning on singing to her, and had taken it out to tune it or to practice a little after she left. How sweet! Oh I hope that's what he was doing! Maybe he's gonna sing to me for our anniversary? It was in the corner of the room just a few feet away from her, so there was a chance he would see her if he decided to go pick it up when he got home. She didn't dare move it, because Joel would probably fucking notice, and then get suspicious and tear the place apart looking for an intruder or something. Luckily, their lack of hangers meant that he wouldn't be venturing over to the closet to change clothes; they kept nearly their entire wardrobe in the one dresser (where it fit quite easily, as they didn't have much). The only item of clothing Ellie had in the closet was actually Annie's: the dress. Annie had gifted it to her, but Ellie still didn't really think of it as her own. It was definitely just a special occasion thing. Which... this IS, but... no dress required! The sliding closet door was perpetually open because it liked to stick, and there just was no real reason to close it, so Ellie settled herself into the far corner with her book and started reading to pass the time, straining her eyes in the dim light. Phase one: complete!
It took her a little while to mellow out enough to actually be able to comprehend the words she was reading without having to re-read them ten times, but eventually, she found herself absorbed in her book -- the second one in the series that Sophie had inadvertently hooked her on (and the cover featured another half-naked cowboy!). Ellie had 'unofficially' checked out the book at the library; she was still just borrowing it, not stealing it, so she didn't feel bad about the deception. It would've just been way too embarrassing to bring it up to the counter and have Angie or Deborah arch their eyebrows, and perhaps make a snarky remark or two. From what she'd observed, teenagers who wanted to read these sorts of books typically just sneaked peeks at the sexy parts in the library without actually checking them out -- although she wouldn't be surprised if some copies had been stolen as well. Maybe if she were Sophie's age, she wouldn't give a fuck about actually checking it out (and she not-so-secretly admired Sophie's confidence about all things related to sex).
Anyway, Ellie only read this one when Joel wasn't around. Fortunately, he respected her privacy enough not to snoop through her backpack, where she kept it carefully hidden in order to spare herself the lecture ("you don't need to be reading that shit, Ellie" -- ETCETERA). He'd kind of let it slide in California when there was pretty much nothing else around for her to read, but she didn't have that excuse anymore. What had Sophie called it... a guilty pleasure? Like... she knew it wasn't great literature or anything, but it was just so fucking fun to read. Ellie totally understood that. She actually thought Joel should prefer this over her "goddamn vampire novels," because the way she figured it, the more she learned about sex, the better she would be at it, and that would certainly be to his benefit!
Things were really heating up -- after like eight chapters of sexual tension, the main characters were finally about to start fucking each other's brains out! -- when Ellie heard the door open, and she lamented Joel's timing for a moment before coming to her senses and realizing HE'S FINALLY HOME! Home -- and thus, hers -- for the rest of the weekend!
"Ellie? You home?"
Reflexively, she held her breath. Then she realized she'd better save that for when he actually entered the bedroom, if she wanted to avoid exhaling a huge hiding-spot-giveaway breath when he was just on the other side of the closet door. Be cool, Ellie... she didn't dare move a muscle.
"Ellie?"
It seemed to take him a really long time to reach the bedroom. She carefully drew a deep breath when she heard his footsteps in the hall. Surely he realized by now that she wasn't home. So why the fuck is he just STANDING there? It better not be his fucking ELLIE SENSE! It seemed like he was suspicious that something was amiss, but she couldn't think of what she may have done to--
...Ohhhhh fuck, I know what I did! I forgot to lock the door! Which had naturally made Joel think she was already home. And there was no way Joel would've left without locking it; he never ever forgot to do that (and the door had in fact been locked when Ellie had gotten home). So now that he sees I'm NOT home, he's wondering what's up... hopefully he'll assume I came home and then left again, and he won't decide to scour the place for burglars...
Fortunately, he didn't dwell on it for too long; Ellie was able to carefully exhale when she heard the rustling of clothes. She silently took another decent breath and held it until he left the room, only daring to exhale when she heard the bathroom door shut. Yes! She'd been counting on him taking a shower; he did shower in the morning sometimes -- especially if they'd had sex since he last showered -- but he pretty much always showered after work if he got sweaty or dirty (which he apparently did, most days). Ellie liked to tease him about wasting water, and how spoiled he was now, taking up to two showers a day when they used to get zero a day. She stayed in the closet until she heard the shower turning on. Because wouldn't that be just fucking fantastic if Joel heard her right before flushing the toilet or something.
Phase two: go time! Ellie emerged from the closet, stretching her limbs and rubbing the kinks out from being stuck in the same position for so long. ...Which I guess I better get used to, though, cuz... yeahhhh. Hehe!
Since she probably didn't have much time, she stripped as quickly as she could, climbed into bed buck naked, and set about fastening the handcuffs around her wrists, looping them through one of the spindles on the headboard so that she would be attached to the bed with her hands over her head. Getting the second cuff to click into place was slightly more difficult than she'd anticipated. She couldn't reach it with her other hand, so she had to work it between her wrist and the headboard... or her wrist and her head... but she did manage it -- and before Joel had even finished showering! Now all she had to do was wait.
She kicked the covers down, deciding it would be best to give Joel the full view of what awaited him once he got out of that shower. Her hair was loose, just the way Joel liked it, and it was long enough now that it fell just past her shoulders. Thinking about the look that would be on his face when he walked in there and found her like this made her blush. ...Good! Get the stupid little girl blushing out of the way!
If there was any justice in the world (as Joel liked to say), he would start singing in the shower now. Singing loud and off-key, a song that was embarrassing as fuck -- something he would only ever sing when he thought he was alone. Payback's a bitch! She did hear him whistling some indistinct tune, but no full-fledged song... and certainly nothing embarrassing. How disappointing... but I suppose it's for the best, because I also don't want to be LAUGHING MY ASS OFF when he comes in here, either!
The excitement of anticipation mounted to a crazy-high level when she heard the water turn off. He's almost here! Eeeeee! There were no clothes laid out on the bed, but he only did that, like... maybe half the time? Most likely, he hadn't brought clothes into the bathroom with him. He used to do that, back when their relationship was platonic, but he'd become pretty comfortable walking around naked now that her eyes were "no longer innocent." Even if he did get dressed in there, though, he could just get undressed again super quick! Oh fuck... what if he DOES get dressed in the bathroom, and then doesn't even come back to the bedroom? I guess I could make a little noise... like bang the headboard against the wall a little or something... and then he'll come in here with a gun drawn -- ha! She tried to remember if she'd seen his boots on his side of the bed. Sometimes he took them off in the other room, but the footsteps she'd heard earlier were booted ones, so... surely they're there? Why can't I see them? She strained her neck, trying to see over the far side of the bed.
After a very loooong couple of minutes, her silly fears were laid to rest: Joel entered the bedroom, wearing only a towel, and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of her. "What the..."
She smiled tentatively, suddenly feeling shy for some reason. "Um... hi?" GODDAMNIT why is the fucking blush coming back?!
"You were not here when I was in here before. Or am I blind?" He was smiling...
...and he looks more amused than turned on... but Ellie wasn't discouraged. "Nope! I just appeared out of nowhere, like magic! And whoops, I seem to have gotten myself chained to this bed... somehow... hehe!"
He crossed his arms over his chest and just looked at her, chuckling to himself. "What am I gonna do with you, girl..."
"I can think of a few things," she said sweetly. "You have to come a little closer, though..."
He started moving toward her very slowly. "How much closer?" he teased.
"A lot closer -- and lose the towel," she suggested.
"Yes ma'am..."
When he let the towel fall away, Ellie was happy to note that he did appear to be at least somewhat affected by the sight of her... and from whatever his imagination is cooking up, I guess? He climbed onto the bed... and just hovered over her. Like not even touching an inch of her, anywhere. He had a mischievous glint in his eye that was kind of scaring her a little. Uh-oh...
"This is gonna be real fun," he said evilly (yes, evilly!).
"What? What do you mean?" she all but shrieked, nudging him with her foot.
"Well... I just noticed when I got home -- we're out of bread. I reckon I'd better mosey on over to the--"
"Don't you fucking dare!" she seethed. "You can't leave me like this!"
"...Can't I?"
"No!"
"Huh. Well, it ain't my fault you--"
"Yes it is! It is your fucking fault -- you left this morning!"
"Only 'cause I had to. Duty called." He leaned in and calmly inspected her cuffed wrists. "You really did lock yourself up good, didn'tcha. You ain't goin' nowhere."
"And neither are you!"
"Me? I'm free to do as I please. No restrictions whatsoever on me."
"Joel! Stop being a dick! You're not supposed to-- ugh! You're supposed to... like..." She thought he was going to kiss her then, but he stopped short. And when she lunged toward him as best she could, quick as a flash he pulled right back. It was so fucking infuriating!
"What am I s'posed to do? Be... so overcome with lust that I just..."
"YES!" she groaned. "You're ruining everything!"
He laughed -- more like cackled, really. "You should see the look on your face right now. It's priceless."
"Fuck you!" Even though she knew it would do no good, she struggled to break free. Of the fucking locked handcuffs. She did manage to connect her foot with his chest, although she wouldn't exactly classify it as a kick...
"Calm down." He brought her leg up. Hitched it over his shoulder... kissed her ankle. He glanced at her. "Do you really think I would actually--"
"YES! You're evil!"
"...Evil?"
"Yes!"
He planted little kisses up her calf... her knee... her inner thigh... she sucked in her breath involuntarily. She was finally getting the right kind of attention from him...
"From where I'm sittin', you're the evil one," he declared.
"What? Why?" she breathed.
He kissed her belly button. "How is a man s'posed to resist you... like this? Hm?"
THIS is more like it! "Um... who says you have to resist me?" She tried to sound playful... coy... sexy. She wasn't sure if she succeeded.
"I s'pose we are a little beyond that now..." He took one of her nipples in his mouth.
"Fuck yeah we are... mmm..." She enjoyed the little ripples of pleasure he was producing... and tried not to feel frustrated at not being able to wrap her arms around him. I remember he complained about that when HE wore these! He had let her leg fall slack... she was tempted to bring it right back up to the side of his head, but... no, I'll just relax for now... I wonder what he's going to do next...
He switched to the other nipple... Ellie arched her back and "mmm"d some more to encourage him. And to reward him for finally being sweet!
"I ain't sure what's affectin' you more -- me, or bein' cold."
"You!" Duh!
He raised his head and finally kissed her lips. "I'll just have to warm you up."
"I'm not cold!" ...Okay, maybe she was a little bit cold, now that he mentioned it...
"Your body says otherwise. I'm drippin' water on you, too, which don't help, I'm sure--"
"You're fine," she assured him. Only his hair was still drip-wet, and it would dry soon enough. Ugh, there's stupid little goosebumps all over me! SO unsexy! "Like you said -- I guess you'll just have to warm me up. You're good at that." If he kept leaning over her, his body heat would do the trick... but it would be even better if he'd KISS them all away!
He caressed her cheek. "One thing we oughta do, when we're playin' with these cuffs... or any time, really... is have a safe word."
"A safe word?" she echoed. "I didn't even kick you that hard! Or... at all, really."
He chuckled. "I don't mean for that."
"No? Well, whatever you mean it for, I'm not gonna go to sleep just cuz you say a word."
"...Okay, you lost me. Why would I want you to do that?"
"Beats me! You're the one that said it!"
"Said what?"
"That we should have a safe word!"
He gave her a little kiss. "You're cute. It ain't got nothin' to do with goin' to sleep. Don' know where you got that--"
"We just saw it like... two weeks ago? Remember River kicking ass? You liked that part, even." She could see the comprehension dawning on him now.
"Right -- I forgot about that thing in the movie. That's... somethin' different. For normal folks, a safe word is like... you know how sometimes you say 'no,' or 'don't,' but you don't really mean it... and other times, you do?"
"I never mean it!" she protested.
"You do, sometimes."
Not really... and he was the one who said 'no' all the time! She supposed there may have been one or two times she meant it. "I guess... but you can always tell the difference," she pointed out.
"No, not always. I think... especially when there's roleplay involved... or like now, when you're... very much at my mercy..." This time he paused to flash her a wicked grin that made her stomach do its little flippy thing. "There needs to be a way to stop... where we don't have to... just be able to tell the difference. Where we don't have to rely on interpretation."
"Pfff. Why the fuck would I wanna stop you? I know you're not gonna hurt me. I trust you."
"It ain't about that. I mean... it is and it ain't. Just like with... everything else... trust is all well an' good, but I can't read your mind."
"Yes you can! Sometimes I swear you do!"
He chuckled. "Sometimes ain't all the time. Maybe you don't like somethin' I'm doin'. Maybe you want somethin' to be different. Somethin' makes you uncomfortable... or it hurts... I don' know. Maybe bein' restrained starts to make you feel like... just... there's plenty of reasons."
"Like... I have to pee?" she ventured.
"...Do you?"
"No," she laughed. "But that might be the only good reason!"
"Well... whatever the case may be. You use the safe word, I know you mean it. That way... you can play more. You can pretend you don't like bein' chained up. Pretend you have to pee. Ask me to unlock the cuffs an' let you go or somethin'."
"What, like... ask you, even though I don't want you to let me go?"
"Right."
"So you can be a dick and be like 'no way, bitch!' " she smirked.
He smiled. "Pretty much."
Ha! "Oh man... now I wanna hear you call me that. Or worse." Joel never called her any derogatory names, even when he was super mad at her. He might tell her she was "acting stupid" or something like that, but he would stop short of calling her, say, a stupid worthless cunt.
"As long as you don't use the word -- the safe word -- I'll know you're just playin', see. That you ain't truly upset."
Now that she thought about it, Ellie could see the value in it. "Same for you, right? I mean... you don't usually like it when I get too upset, so maybe you won't like it when I'm fake-upset, either. Maybe you won't like how it goes."
"Fair enough. You know I can be a real asshole, though."
"So?" she laughed.
"So... I think you're more likely to get truly upset than me, is all."
She snorted. "You can just stop whenever you want anyways... not like I can do anything about it. -Hey, how come we didn't have a word when you were the one who was locked up? Don't tell me this is some sexist idea of--"
"No, no, nothin' like that. Just didn't think about it beforehand. You're right -- we should've had one."
He did say later that it was a weird feeling, to be that dependent on me... and Joel didn't even have it that bad, in that motel -- all he would've had to do was stand up and he'd be free to move around. Whereas I can't move from this position at all! "We can still talk about it afterwards and stuff, right? What it felt like... or what we liked best..."
"Of course."
"Okay, so what's the word?" she asked eagerly.
"We have to agree on one. It can't be a word like 'no' or 'stop'... or anything else we might naturally say."
"...Like 'fuck'?"
"Ha -- yes, definitely not that. You'd have to think too hard about not sayin' that one."
"So... ... ...?"
"Only one I can think of is 'red.' Like a stop sign. That work for you?"
Ellie supposed she wasn't likely to scream out a color in the throes of passion and accidentally make him stop when she didn't want him to. "Stop signs have white on them, too," she informed him cheekily. And sometimes other colors, like if there's graffiti!
" 'Red'n'white' then, if you prefer, Miss Smartass."
"That's three words. You said it's supposed to be a safe word -- like, singular. Although River's was actually more than one word, too..." She giggled at the exasperated look on his face. "Okay, fine, I'm cool with 'red.' Not like I'm ever gonna have to use it."
"Never say never. You might be surprised."
Oh he's gonna smack me for this, but-- "I didn't say 'never' -- I said ever," she pointed out sweetly.
Joel groaned, but he was smiling when he kissed her. "You're lucky you're so damn cute."
"I guess I am... since I'm at your mercy and all..."
"Mm. I could just decide I wanna..." He trailed a hand idly down her chest, cupping a breast... then venturing lower... "...tickle the hell out of--"
"Don't you dare!" Ellie recoiled from the taunting hand as best she could -- although her best amounted to not very well at all. When she twisted sideways, she could scoot up into a sitting position with her legs tucked up to her chest, but she had no way to fully protect her vulnerable, very-ticklish sides!
He smirked. "I didn't say I was goin' to. Just that I could."
"No you can't! Not unless you want me to either say the word or fucking pee myself -- and prob'ly pee on you, since I'm naked!"
He climbed on top of her and tugged her down a little, extending her arms back over her head so she was laying down, but he let her keep her legs folded up. "Don't really want you to do either of those things, so I guess you're right: I can't." He leaned in and kissed her neck...
...which was pretty much guaranteed to make her melt. She spread her legs and coiled them around him, pulling his chest to hers... his groin to hers... "Fuck... you know what sucks about this? I can't touch you."
He kissed her throat... up to her lips. "We're touchin' pretty good right now..."
"I mean with my hands! Just like you said when it was your turn!"
"Mm. I'll miss you scratchin' my back when you get all excited..."
She still thought it was weird that he liked that. Like... he claimed it didn't even hurt. This was obviously a lie, though, because even when she asked him to do it to her, he refused to scratch her hard enough to draw blood. And she knew that he could if he wanted to; his nails weren't exactly tidily-groomed! She donned her most sweet'n'innocent smile. "I'd be happy to do that for you if you free my hands... sir..." The 'sir' slipped out before she realized that she probably didn't need it to convey that she was joking around and didn't really want him to do that -- isn't that the whole point of having a safe word?
"No can do, kiddo. I ain't done with you yet."
She tried to pout (which was kind of hard to do when she wanted to giggle). "Aww... who says you have to be done with me? I'm just saying... I'll make you feel good if you--"
"You're gonna make me feel good anyway. I'll make sure of that."
Ha! Again, she just wanted to giggle, but she tried to act apprehensive. "Uh... what's that supposed to mean? Like... you're gonna just... do whatever you have to... with me? So you can..."
"That's right." He slithered down to the other side of her neck. "Gonna use your body for my own pleasure. Mine alone -- to hell with yours."
She tightened her legs around him and arched her back a little. "Whoa... that's fucking hot," she whispered.
"What was that?" Joel lifted his head and looked at her like... he was practically giving her a deathglare.
Why is it so HOT that he's pretending to be mean? But it fucking was. And she knew he had heard what she said. "Oh -- um -- nothing? Just... please be nice..." Even though she was all kinds of turned on right now, part of her was still amused, too.
He kissed her again, harder this time... his tongue more aggressive than usual. When he pulled away, he nipped at her lower lip. "Nice enough for ya?"
"Yeahhh... I mean -- no! Fuck you! Let me go!" She managed to suppress a laugh, but she felt a gigglefit coming on. FUCK-- I don't wanna fuck this up-- it's so FUN--
"Nope. Don't think I will." He slid down to breast level. "You're my new favorite plaything."
She let out a little "ooooo" when he applied his lips to her nipple... when she felt his tongue swirling over it. "Not plaything... you mean a hellthing..."
"A hot-as-hell-thing. That's right." He massaged her other breast... somewhat roughly, rolling the nipple between his fingers.
"Fuck... you better not like... bite me..." She held her breath.
A jolt of pleasure shot up her spine when she felt his teeth clamp down.
"Jesus... ...I told you... not... to..."
"You don't get to tell me what to do, little girl," he smirked. He shifted his oral ministrations to the other breast, massaging the bitten one with his hand.
I don't THINK he's gonna bite again... because he'd gotten a feel for how often she liked him to do it (which was... not often). But now she found herself wanting him to nip the other one, too. "Oh shit... um... please don't bite me like that..."
"I'll do whatever I damn well please," he mumbled into her breast, lapping and sucking... and not-biting.
She thought about stage-whispering to him that it would be totally fine if he bit her again, but decided it was too risky to break character. "You're such a dick! Why can't you just let me go... mm.. mmmotherfucker..." He's making it too hard to act like I don't like it! His lips drifted down to her belly... and she had a pretty good idea where they were headed. Fuck, I'm getting wet just THINKING about--
"Can't do it. Haven't tasted you yet." He paused about halfway between her belly button and her nether regions and glanced up at her. "Ain't gonna apologize for it, either. I think you're actually enjoyin' this... somehow."
"Oh, I'm not -- not at all! No way!" ...She could say the words, but she couldn't even pretend to sound upset while saying them. Try harder, she instructed herself. Now that you have the WORD, you don't have to worry about him believing you too much or whatever... but FUCK... if he would just, like... She tried to scoot up a little, the better to align Joel's lips with her clit, but Joel suddenly coiled his arms around her legs so tightly that she couldn't move them.
"Where do you think you're goin'?" he drawled, his lips trailing lower... but then they strayed off to the side.
Of COURSE he's going to tease me right now! Ugghhh! "I won't let you... uh... fuck..." She watched intently as he kissed alllll around the happy place.
"Won't let me what? You seem a little... distracted."
"You're... disgusting... if you would just-- ohhhhh!" She watched him drag his tongue right smack through the middle of her folds in one smooth (and agonizingly slow) motion. When he caught her looking, though, she threw her head back. "Fuck, Joel... I have to... I can't fucking move..." The way he was restraining her lower half right now, she couldn't even move her hips -- couldn't move anything.
"That's the idea." And now he was sucking on her clit...
But I want to SMASH MYSELF INTO YOUR FUCKING FACE RIGHT NOW! She didn't say it out loud, though. Just whimpered softly. It seemed like not being able to move was intensifying the sensations, although that didn't make any sense to her. Maybe it doesn't make sense because my brain is like MUSH... it's such sweet fucking torture that I can't even SPEAK... but 'torture' wasn't really the right word... there ARE no words! Literally!... There was only Joel... playing her body like an instrument...
"Ellie. Say the word if you have to." He sounded far away, for some reason... but he was right there... face in her crotch...
Why the fuck would I want to stop?! She realized he was watching her... judging her reaction, maybe?... although he hadn't exactly stopped. He was still... basically breathing her pussy. She just shook her head and let out a shuddery breath.
He finally eased his grip, hitching her legs over his shoulders and allowing her to pulse at his hovering face. He's going to drive me CRAZY! His wet lips... his prickly whiskers... his talented tongue... they were heavenly, but still seemed to be set to tease mode. She usually wanted to spread her legs as wide as possible when she was this aroused, but now she coiled them around his head in an attempt to draw him closer.
Joel noticed. "Quite the vise-grip you got there..." He shifted his focus from immobilizing her legs to like... pushing her pelvis firmly into the bed and holding it there.
She moaned as his tongue darted in and out of her sex, probing her playfully -- and 'playful' was a level beyond 'teasing,' at least, but she still wanted more. "If you would just... fucking... uugghh!"
But Ellie forgot her annoyance when he finally allowed her vise-grippy legs to hold his head where she wanted it. "Oh my God, Joel... Jesus fuck... fucking..."
"...Fuck Jesus?"
"Fuck Jesus!" she affirmed, giggling breathlessly.
He grabbed hold of her legs -- at the knees this time -- and eased them up to her belly, holding them there while he dipped his face below, still somewhat lightly but allowing much more contact than his initial taunting endeavors. Her calves dangled uselessly; she could probably kick him (but why the fuck would she want to do that right now?!), she just couldn't hug his head and pull him closer. She also couldn't really see what he was doing anymore... so she closed her eyes and let her head loll back against the headboard.
She moaned and writhed, bucking whenever she felt his mouth on her. "I don't see... how this is for your pleasure... ooohhh..."
"Oh, it is. I'm makin' sure that when I do let you go, you don't wanna leave me. See how that works?"
"I don't want you to let me go! I want you to just keep... doing what you're doing... foreeevvveeerrrrrr..." She was done pretending otherwise!
When he released her legs again, they settled comfortably on his shoulders, and she didn't have to pull him in anymore -- finally he was doing more pleasuring than teasing.
She still felt a little guilty about letting him do this, when she couldn't even return the favor, but what choice did she have? It wasn't her fault he wouldn't let her suck him off. And sure, she could try to twist herself around to escape his magical mouth, but with his arms currently limiting the movement of her legs, that would be rather difficult. Of course, the more difficult thing would be to find the strength of will to do it, because it felt so... just... absolutely fucking amazing, almost like a very prolonged orgasm. Only he never quite brought her all the way... somehow, he kept her dangling on the brink. She strained against the handcuffs, instinctively trying to grab his head and hold it right where she wanted it, to just uuuuuunnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh -- but, Joel seemed to sense this, and was probably using it to further his cause of keeping her in the build-up phase, even though he was -- thank GOD -- doing way more than teasing now.
And how fucking hot does he look, smirking up at me like that with a face full of pussy?!
She kind of wished she didn't know about the annoying hairs-in-the-mouth thing he'd confessed to her recently, because since then, the thought would occasionally pop into her head when he was busy down there: does he have one in his mouth right now? Is it bugging him? Will I notice when he discreetly gets rid of it? If she ever asked, he would say no, possibly followed by a "don't worry about it." Thankfully, her body didn't let her dwell too long on shit like that; it was pretty insistent on making her feel those immensely pleasurable sensations instead.
Right now, she didn't care if Joel had ten annoying hairs in his mouth. She couldn't remember ever taking this long to have her first orgasm of the session... and if she was going to keep feeling this fucking good, she really didn't want to have one.
Or so she thought.
Finally, she reached a point where she just couldn't stand it anymore. "Joel -- oh my God -- oh fuck -- fuuuuck! -- fuck me now, Joel! Please! Ohhh please I can't stand it -- I'm gonna fucking explode --"
"Did I hear the magic three words?" he teased, wiping his face with her muff.
"Yes! FUCK ME, JOELLLLL! Hurry! I'm gonna come prob'ly the second you-- ohhhhhhhhh yeah... oh yeah... yessss, that's it!" He had never obliged that request quite so quickly before. And after all that fucking teasing! He's just-- BEYOND ready now, himself! "Ohhh, fuck me -- fuck me, Joel -- Oh my God -- harder-- do it harder!"
He had kept her legs up on his shoulders and just eased them back toward her body while he entered her, so her toes were pointing pretty much straight up in the air. Maybe it was her imagination or her highly aroused state, but it felt like he'd never plunged this deep inside before. She uttered a nonstop stream of moans and "ohh"s while he pumped away. The actual climax didn't elicit any extra moans, though; rather, her face froze -- her mouth open with no sound coming out. Like the speed of sound had been breached or something, stealing her voice -- and she had no idea if that even made sense, but that was the thought that popped into her blissed-out head!
"You like that angle," Joel concluded. He was still thrusting quickly, though it appeared he knew she was done (...and usually, this combination meant he was close to being done himself).
"Keep going," she urged him.
"For me or for you?"
"For you! You can finish!" She knew he wouldn't dare finish inside, but he was good at getting it pretty close. "Don't use your hand -- use me!" she giggled breathlessly. "It's only fair!"
But then Joel froze -- like, his entire body tensed up and came to an abrupt halt, mid-thrust.
Before she could ask him what was wrong/why did he stop -- a very familiar voice promptly provided the reason. Someone was standing in the doorway--
"What... in... the... HELL."
Shit--
Tommy!
~Continue to Chapter 35~
Fandom: The Last of Us (first game only)
Characters: Ellie, Joel, Tommy, Maria, OCs
Pairings: Joel/Ellie
Warnings: Underage
Word Count for this chapter: 9,720
Rating (for fic as a whole): R
Author's Note: FYI due to vacation plans, the next chapter will be going up a little later than normal -- no more than one week later.
~
Over the next couple of weeks, Ellie settled back into something resembling her old weekly routine at Jackson: mornings at the farm, afternoons at the library, with two or three days off from each. She and Joel were folded into the schedule for May, and they were usually given weekends off together. Shifts were fairly short for everyone where possible (well, Joel said they were short: to him, anything less than eight hours was “nothin’ ”). The person who had taken over her cataloging project at the library had fucked it all up, as far as Ellie could tell, so she had made no real progress to speak of there (plus, she still got distracted by the books sometimes... that was part of the fun). It wasn't on the calendar, so she could basically work on it whenever she felt like it, but she liked to work that around her scheduled story time with the kids. That particular schedule was posted where the kids could see it, and some of them had told her they liked her days the best, so she never traded shifts with anyone -- only covered for others if they asked her to.
Dinners typically alternated between the farm, Tommy and Maria's, and at home with Joel. When Joel did his fourth-shift guard duty (which he still stubbornly referred to as 'second shift,' even though she'd told him repeatedly why this made no sense), she sometimes ate dinner elsewhere, like at Karen's house, or Chelsea's -- and she especially enjoyed Chelsea's when all the daycare kids were there. Ellie would've liked to have dinner with Clicker, too, but he never invited her, even when she dropped very not-subtle hints. Which was fine... she wasn't in the habit of inviting people over, either. When she and Joel ate at home, that was precious alone time, and she didn't want to share him with anyone! Joel seemed to feel the same way, because he never invited anyone over for dinner, either. Their house was really small. Only one other person could join them at the table by bringing over the desk chair; anyone extra would have to go sit on the couch or something. Dinners at Tommy and Maria's were usually just limited to the four of them now, and Ellie could understand why they'd put an end to the chaos of old: the baby caused enough chaos of his own!
She did babysit from time to time, just for short periods -- sometimes when Maria was home, even. Like if Maria wanted to get chores done uninterrupted, or attend to some town business... maybe go to the store, or visit with a friend. One time, Maria just really wanted to take a nap, and Grayson didn't. So Ellie had soothed and played with him, and eventually gotten him to fall asleep in her lap, just like he'd done that night she and Joel babysat him... when the three of them had been all snuggled up together on the couch. Joel might act like he couldn't care less about bonding with his nephew... but I KNOW he enjoyed that! Sometimes, there was absolutely nothing wrong with Grayson when he cried -- he just wanted to be held. Ellie couldn't blame the kid for not wanting to be alone in his crib, especially when the room was dark (night lights could only do so much, really). Joel had tried to take him from her that night and put him to bed, but she refused to allow that, because what if he woke up and got scared when he realized he was alone? As long as he was happily sleeping in her arms, that was where he needed to stay. Joel had thought she was being a little ridiculous... that it wasn't mean of them to put him in his crib... but he hadn't fought her too hard on it.
Ellie slowly got accustomed to spending more time apart from Joel again. She still went riding with Annie sometimes (although she sorely missed Spirit when she did), and Meredith never joined them for that. The girl seemed to respect that it was their thing. Ellie was grateful for this, even though she was starting to not mind Meredith so much. She didn't feel like they would ever be besties or anything like that, but she didn't dislike her. And, despite Joel accusing her of being jealous, Ellie was truly happy that Annie had found a friend that she liked so much... someone she could spend time with when Ellie wasn't around. Someone who wasn't Jacob. Ellie really wished she could go spy on Christine some more and see if she could do anything to help Annie out with Colton, but try as she might, she couldn't get Joel to agree to take another trip out to Farm 4. He said there was no need, and he didn't understand why she was so eager to go (Ellie kept her promise to Annie and didn't say anything about her motives).
Secretly, she was beginning to think it just wasn't meant to be for those two anyway. What kind of romance could they really have? She knew there was such a thing as long distance relationships, but in this case, she didn't see how it could work since they hadn't even been a couple when the distance happened, and now they never saw each other at all. At least Annie didn't seem too broken up about it; it was almost like she was content to think about what might have been -- or what might be, if Colton ever moved back? -- and leave it at that. Maybe it just felt good to have someone to think about who wasn't that lying cheating douchebag Jacob.
Ellie also continued to play video games with Clicker, and his new bestie, Wyatt -- and he even brought her into his D&D game (campaign, is what they called it). My purple-haired gnome cleric rocks! She had already resurrected another character and everything. That was Ellie's favorite skill -- one she wished that she could learn to use in real life.
She attended a few play rehearsals, just for fun... but since Alyssa kept giving her the stink eye (even when all she did was sit and watch quietly! Which is what she did most of the fucking time she was there anyways!), she figured maybe she ought to not do that anymore. Not that a thirteen-year-old girl was intimidating or anything, just... Ellie did feel kind of bad for her. Clicker continued to say that she wasn't his girlfriend (and from what Ellie could see, he was telling the truth), but the girl didn't seem to realize this. Or maybe she just refused to accept it. There was a possessive air about her, when it came to Clicker... possibly only where Ellie was concerned, though, because Ellie noticed that she didn't flip her shit over the Dorothy actress touching him and stuff. Then again, maybe she doesn't view eleven-year-old Mia as a threat? Even though she's closer to their age than I am! Alyssa didn't even need to attend most of the rehearsals, being a mere munchkin herself -- and not one with a speaking role, at that -- but if Clicker was there, she was there. And, Ellie had to admit, the girl had more of a right to be there than Ellie did. The fact that Alyssa was Jacob's sister certainly didn't help matters, but Ellie got the distinct impression the girl's loathing of her had more to do with Clicker than her asshat brother.
Ellie could have, perhaps, tried a little harder to be nice to her...
"Ellie, why do you keep coming to rehearsal? You're not even IN the play."
"...I don't go to ALL of them. I just like to watch sometimes. It's fun, seeing how everything comes together."
"Well, you're just a distraction. You don't need to be here."
"A distraction? I'm not even doing anything!"
"Cordy knows you're here. It's affecting his performance."
"Uh... okay? I think he's doing just fine. The only reason he looked at me after that... brain song part... was cuz he fucked it up when we rehearsed together. I'm glad he's--"
"Wait -- what do you mean WHEN YOU REHEARSED TOGETHER?"
"...Just what it sounds like? We rehearsed... together... the other night. He didn't tell you? I just read off his script, he had his--"
"At NIGHT?!"
"Yeah. I offered to help out, and he came over."
"But -- you're -- ugh, you're not even IN it!"
"Yeah, you mentioned that already. There's no rule that a friend can't help another friend with his lines."
"But he doesn't need you to! I can help him with that!"
"Well... maybe he doesn't wanna rub it in that you're nothing but a munchkin? With no lines of your own? He's just being considerate of your feelings."
"Yeah right! You're trying to steal him away from me!"
"Hey, calm down -- I don't think you want him coming over here, do you? And that's ridiculous. How can I steal him away from you... when you don't even HAVE him? I mean..."
"Shut up! He's my boyfriend, okay? Just because he doesn't like to be all grope-y in public doesn't mean--"
"Oooookay... sure, I guess that's all it is..."
"He's shy!"
"...Uh-huh. SHY. Yep, that's the first word that comes to mind about Clicker, not friendly... outgoing... funny..."
"He can be that stuff and still be shy about girls. DUH."
"Yeah, I guess. He's not shy with ME, but..."
"You're not-- WITH him, like a girl!"
"Of course not. I'm too busy sucking Joel's dick, remember? You're the one who started spreading that shit all--"
"It wasn't me!"
"My bad -- it was your brother and his whore girlfriend who started it. But they made sure you told all your little friends... which version was your favorite? The one where Joel makes me, or the one where I'm a slut who will blow anyone who asks? ...I'm guessing it's the second one. No wonder you're worried about me being around Clicker. I mean, I can't help myself... I might accidentally find his dick in my-- --hey, where are you going? ...Nice talking to you!"
Ellie's mouth could get her in trouble sometimes (...and not from being wrapped around Joel's dick, unfortunately). She hoped that little exchange didn't make its way back to Joel somehow, because she could hear the lecture already. Ellie hadn't felt bad about it (because fuck that little twat) until she'd had to confess to Clicker that she may have mentioned them rehearsing together in private, and he'd gotten a little pissy about it. She hadn't meant to make things more difficult between him and Alyssa (besides, if she wasn't his girlfriend, why should he care if she knew about it? ...right?!). In fact, she thought it might help him out, if he was trying to get rid of her and she just wasn't taking the hint. Ellie was doing him a favor! But he didn't seem to see it that way. She decided it would be better to just steer clear of rehearsals, going forward... and to never interfere when she saw Clicker and Alyssa together. Like some nights in the library... if he approached her, fine -- she wasn't going to be a dick to him. But usually she went there with Joel, and if Joel was willing to watch a movie with her, he generally didn't pick the same one those two were watching. If Joel wasn't game, and Ellie really wanted to watch the same movie Clicker was watching, she could always sit next to someone else. One of the Idaho newbies, Ruben, always beckoned her over when he saw her; they had gotten to like each other pretty quickly (and not like that, of course... he was just cool to pal around with down at the farm).
Joel's not crazy about him, though... he was wary of any guy who was nice to her, naturally -- he was just paranoid like that. At the ripe old age of twenty-four, she figured Ruben should at least be exempt from his theory that teenage boys were nothing but bundles of testosterone who couldn't control their lust around girls. Then again... Max was twenty-eight now, and Joel still didn't--
No, Max is different. He just straight up pisses Joel off... but I'm pretty sure Joel's not worried about him being "inappropriate" with me. There were two Maxes in town now. One of Ellie's favorite new things to do to annoy Joel was to casually mention 'Max' but not identify which one, wait for his expression to sour or for him to tense up... he might even say something mean that Max didn't deserve... and then she'd sweetly tell him that no, she was in fact referring to the new Max. Who was only seventeen, and thus, should have been more cause for concern, really, by Joel's ridiculous standards -- and the fact that he already had a girlfriend didn't even matter. Ellie wondered if she should perhaps employ 'the Parker method': just tell Joel that she was pretty sure so-and-so was gay (no matter who she was talking about -- yep, they're all gay! Every boy I've met!). Someone could be gay and still have a girlfriend, if the boy hadn't yet figured it out for himself, so anyone was fair game for this tactic. How long could she get away with that before Joel caught on? Parker had indeed been gay, after all -- or at least bi -- which should lend credibility to her gaydar.
Ellie did find herself thinking about Parker from time to time. She wondered how he was doing... whether or not he hated her guts now... had she screwed everything up for him? The only one she could really speculate with was Joel, and he wasn't very tolerant of it for long. He'd tell her it was best not to worry about shit like that. That she should just try to put it out of her mind. Joel certainly seemed to have no problem with not looking back. She envied him that sometimes.
Generally, though, Ellie wasn't inclined to look back much herself. She had so much to look forward to! Especially with Joel. It was less than two years now until they could quit hiding their relationship... which still seemed like forever, but it was less forever-ish than like... a year ago. Okay, so more like ten months ago... we weren't even a couple a year ago! Their ten-month anniversary was this upcoming Sunday. She had figured they may as well make it an anniversary weekend -- as in, spending the majority of it in bed -- and she'd said as much to Joel, several times. He had teased her about his very busy social life and said it was a good thing she kept reminding him not to make plans because his calendar was filling right up. (He also seemed to be using it as an excuse not to have sex with her, like he wanted to 'save up' or something? But since she was actually planning on coaxing as much sex out of him as she could this weekend, she didn't push it.)
So when Joel had casually announced Friday night that he was working the next day -- on his day off! -- Ellie had been furious.
"How could you do that, Joel?!"
"I didn't PLAN on it. We just didn't finish before the kids got out of school--"
"I could've babysat them so you guys could finish! You should've told me!"
"How could I tell you when I didn' know ahead of time?"
"Well -- why can't you just finish on Monday?"
"...We could, I s'pose, but the weather's been cooperatin' this week... when Craig asked us if we could put in a couple hours tomorrow to finish up, I couldn't think of a good reason to say no."
"COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD REASON? Uggghhhh!"
"Oh, I'm sorry -- you're right. I should've told him I planned on spendin' the whole weekend in bed with my sixteen-year-old girlfriend."
"You could've said... literally ANYTHING else. How about 'fuck you, it's my day off so why don't you let someone else do it'?"
"Sure. 'Cause as you know, they ride us real hard around here. It's rough, workin' six whole hours in a day. IF that -- plenty of times we finish early, or have to stop early for some other reason. Besides, you know I like to finish what I start. That's much more satisfyin' than leavin' it to--"
"You wanna work tomorrow so you can feel SATISFIED?! Seriously, Joel?"
"You're cute. It's a different kind of satisfied an' you know it."
"What I KNOW is you're blowing me off to go be with a bunch of dudes, when you could be with ME."
"Not 'a bunch,' just a couple. And one of 'em is Shelly, actually."
"That's even worse! Blowing me off on our anniversary to be with another woman!"
"...At least her name sounds kinda like yours."
"Yeah -- like, why doesn't she just go by her real name? 'Michelle' is a perfectly nice name."
"Right -- I'm sure she's doin' it just to offend you. Anyhow, it ain't our anniversary yet -- and our REAL one ain't for another couple of months. Forget it, kiddo -- you ain't changin' my mind. Don't look at me like that... it ain't that big a deal. From Saturday afternoon 'til Monday mornin', I'm all yours."
"Afternoon? Can't you just get it done in the morning? If it's only a couple hours..."
"Startin' at noon. That worked out better for Bo 'cause he's got late guard duty on--"
"FIIIIIIIINE. I'll just make it VERY hard for you to get out of bed tomorrow, that's all."
"...You know I don't like that when I have to go to work after. You KNOW that. I ain't exactly a spring chicken no more--"
"Okay okay! Fuck! Why don't we just cancel the whole thing then? I mean why even bother? You obviously don't even want to be with me anyway!"
"Aww, baby girl, don't be like that."
"Like what?! Just saying it how it is!"
"Let me make it up to you. I'll do whatever you want, when I get home. All right?"
"...ANYthing I want?"
"Yep. You name it. Other than... things I ain't comfortable with."
"Which is like EVERYTHING!"
"No -- that one specific thing is off limits. Anything else goes."
~Specifically~, she knew he meant going down on him. But Ellie was okay with that. He had let her do it for a minute once... and any time she had attempted it since, he had... gently declined. Granted, she hadn't tried very hard; she felt weird about it because it so obviously made him uncomfortable that she felt like too much of an asshole if she pushed the issue. It really wasn't that big a deal -- they were having sex now, and wasn't that a million times better anyway?! She had no cause for complaint. She would eventually persuade him to let her do it again -- and to let her finish the job next time. ...Mr. I Like To Finish What I START!
Anyway, she was also okay with it because she had a better idea... one that made her giggle with glee just imagining it!
To kick things off, she acted a bit cool towards him Saturday morning. Like she couldn't care less that he was leaving. In fact, she left the house before he did, and huffily told him not to expect her to be home when he got back. She truly did not mind that he would be gone for such a short time, but given that she could be a bit... well... theatrical, sometimes?... she knew he would buy her little act. He had apologized and tried to be sweet to her with kisses and stuff, but she acted like she was immune to all of that. At one point, she thought he might have been about to blow off the whole work thing just to appease her -- and now she actually didn't want him to blow it off! -- so, right before she headed out, she smiled and kissed him and told him it was okay, as long as he was hers the rest of the weekend, and she would just look forward to him finishing the job and coming home.
She hadn't planned on going anywhere that day, and she didn't really want to run into anyone she might have to explain herself to, so she just went for a walk. She wished she had thought to ask where he would be working, so she could go there and stake the place out to see when he got there and when he was about to leave, but it didn't really matter. She ducked into the library occasionally to check the time (and only to check the time -- she didn't want to get pulled into a game or something, so she didn't linger), and when she saw it was nearly one o'clock, she figured she'd better head on home.
Ellie thought about hanging out outside, like around the side of the house... if she sat still long enough, the motion detector lights would fail to detect her motion, and shut themselves off... but so far, every time they'd arrived home together, Joel had 'done a lap' around the house. Didn't matter if it was day or night. Curious though she was to see if he would do it when she wasn't with him -- because she knew he prioritized her safety over his own -- she couldn't risk being discovered. Once he got inside, though, his guard would be lowered, and she'd probably be safe.
If only the house were just a teensy bit bigger!
She didn't fit under the bed (which was fine... she'd had enough of hiding under beds after hiding under Sophie's!). She could possibly hide behind the arm of the sofa closest to the wall, but if Joel decided to go sit over there, there was no way he wouldn't see her, or maybe even just sense her with that uncanny ability of his. The back of the sofa was against the wall, so she couldn't just stealthily move around the thing to avoid detection if necessary. She did fit under the coffee table (barely), but again, if Joel decided to go sit on the sofa... The kitchen might have had possibilities, as she could fit inside a couple of the larger cabinets... but there was stuff inside them, which she would have to remove and find other temporary homes for, and if she was going to do that, she might as well just find another place herself.
In the end, she settled on the bedroom closet. The hall closet was actually the best option, as far as minimizing the risk of being discovered, but there was no light in there, and the last thing she needed was to have a panic attack because it was dark. Suffocation also would not be ideal -- nor would dying of boredom from just standing there for what might end up being a couple hours! So, the bedroom closet it was. Thankfully, the guitar wasn't in there like it sometimes was... like it had been that very morning, if she remembered correctly? She wondered if Joel was planning on singing to her, and had taken it out to tune it or to practice a little after she left. How sweet! Oh I hope that's what he was doing! Maybe he's gonna sing to me for our anniversary? It was in the corner of the room just a few feet away from her, so there was a chance he would see her if he decided to go pick it up when he got home. She didn't dare move it, because Joel would probably fucking notice, and then get suspicious and tear the place apart looking for an intruder or something. Luckily, their lack of hangers meant that he wouldn't be venturing over to the closet to change clothes; they kept nearly their entire wardrobe in the one dresser (where it fit quite easily, as they didn't have much). The only item of clothing Ellie had in the closet was actually Annie's: the dress. Annie had gifted it to her, but Ellie still didn't really think of it as her own. It was definitely just a special occasion thing. Which... this IS, but... no dress required! The sliding closet door was perpetually open because it liked to stick, and there just was no real reason to close it, so Ellie settled herself into the far corner with her book and started reading to pass the time, straining her eyes in the dim light. Phase one: complete!
It took her a little while to mellow out enough to actually be able to comprehend the words she was reading without having to re-read them ten times, but eventually, she found herself absorbed in her book -- the second one in the series that Sophie had inadvertently hooked her on (and the cover featured another half-naked cowboy!). Ellie had 'unofficially' checked out the book at the library; she was still just borrowing it, not stealing it, so she didn't feel bad about the deception. It would've just been way too embarrassing to bring it up to the counter and have Angie or Deborah arch their eyebrows, and perhaps make a snarky remark or two. From what she'd observed, teenagers who wanted to read these sorts of books typically just sneaked peeks at the sexy parts in the library without actually checking them out -- although she wouldn't be surprised if some copies had been stolen as well. Maybe if she were Sophie's age, she wouldn't give a fuck about actually checking it out (and she not-so-secretly admired Sophie's confidence about all things related to sex).
Anyway, Ellie only read this one when Joel wasn't around. Fortunately, he respected her privacy enough not to snoop through her backpack, where she kept it carefully hidden in order to spare herself the lecture ("you don't need to be reading that shit, Ellie" -- ETCETERA). He'd kind of let it slide in California when there was pretty much nothing else around for her to read, but she didn't have that excuse anymore. What had Sophie called it... a guilty pleasure? Like... she knew it wasn't great literature or anything, but it was just so fucking fun to read. Ellie totally understood that. She actually thought Joel should prefer this over her "goddamn vampire novels," because the way she figured it, the more she learned about sex, the better she would be at it, and that would certainly be to his benefit!
Things were really heating up -- after like eight chapters of sexual tension, the main characters were finally about to start fucking each other's brains out! -- when Ellie heard the door open, and she lamented Joel's timing for a moment before coming to her senses and realizing HE'S FINALLY HOME! Home -- and thus, hers -- for the rest of the weekend!
"Ellie? You home?"
Reflexively, she held her breath. Then she realized she'd better save that for when he actually entered the bedroom, if she wanted to avoid exhaling a huge hiding-spot-giveaway breath when he was just on the other side of the closet door. Be cool, Ellie... she didn't dare move a muscle.
"Ellie?"
It seemed to take him a really long time to reach the bedroom. She carefully drew a deep breath when she heard his footsteps in the hall. Surely he realized by now that she wasn't home. So why the fuck is he just STANDING there? It better not be his fucking ELLIE SENSE! It seemed like he was suspicious that something was amiss, but she couldn't think of what she may have done to--
...Ohhhhh fuck, I know what I did! I forgot to lock the door! Which had naturally made Joel think she was already home. And there was no way Joel would've left without locking it; he never ever forgot to do that (and the door had in fact been locked when Ellie had gotten home). So now that he sees I'm NOT home, he's wondering what's up... hopefully he'll assume I came home and then left again, and he won't decide to scour the place for burglars...
Fortunately, he didn't dwell on it for too long; Ellie was able to carefully exhale when she heard the rustling of clothes. She silently took another decent breath and held it until he left the room, only daring to exhale when she heard the bathroom door shut. Yes! She'd been counting on him taking a shower; he did shower in the morning sometimes -- especially if they'd had sex since he last showered -- but he pretty much always showered after work if he got sweaty or dirty (which he apparently did, most days). Ellie liked to tease him about wasting water, and how spoiled he was now, taking up to two showers a day when they used to get zero a day. She stayed in the closet until she heard the shower turning on. Because wouldn't that be just fucking fantastic if Joel heard her right before flushing the toilet or something.
Phase two: go time! Ellie emerged from the closet, stretching her limbs and rubbing the kinks out from being stuck in the same position for so long. ...Which I guess I better get used to, though, cuz... yeahhhh. Hehe!
Since she probably didn't have much time, she stripped as quickly as she could, climbed into bed buck naked, and set about fastening the handcuffs around her wrists, looping them through one of the spindles on the headboard so that she would be attached to the bed with her hands over her head. Getting the second cuff to click into place was slightly more difficult than she'd anticipated. She couldn't reach it with her other hand, so she had to work it between her wrist and the headboard... or her wrist and her head... but she did manage it -- and before Joel had even finished showering! Now all she had to do was wait.
She kicked the covers down, deciding it would be best to give Joel the full view of what awaited him once he got out of that shower. Her hair was loose, just the way Joel liked it, and it was long enough now that it fell just past her shoulders. Thinking about the look that would be on his face when he walked in there and found her like this made her blush. ...Good! Get the stupid little girl blushing out of the way!
If there was any justice in the world (as Joel liked to say), he would start singing in the shower now. Singing loud and off-key, a song that was embarrassing as fuck -- something he would only ever sing when he thought he was alone. Payback's a bitch! She did hear him whistling some indistinct tune, but no full-fledged song... and certainly nothing embarrassing. How disappointing... but I suppose it's for the best, because I also don't want to be LAUGHING MY ASS OFF when he comes in here, either!
The excitement of anticipation mounted to a crazy-high level when she heard the water turn off. He's almost here! Eeeeee! There were no clothes laid out on the bed, but he only did that, like... maybe half the time? Most likely, he hadn't brought clothes into the bathroom with him. He used to do that, back when their relationship was platonic, but he'd become pretty comfortable walking around naked now that her eyes were "no longer innocent." Even if he did get dressed in there, though, he could just get undressed again super quick! Oh fuck... what if he DOES get dressed in the bathroom, and then doesn't even come back to the bedroom? I guess I could make a little noise... like bang the headboard against the wall a little or something... and then he'll come in here with a gun drawn -- ha! She tried to remember if she'd seen his boots on his side of the bed. Sometimes he took them off in the other room, but the footsteps she'd heard earlier were booted ones, so... surely they're there? Why can't I see them? She strained her neck, trying to see over the far side of the bed.
After a very loooong couple of minutes, her silly fears were laid to rest: Joel entered the bedroom, wearing only a towel, and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of her. "What the..."
She smiled tentatively, suddenly feeling shy for some reason. "Um... hi?" GODDAMNIT why is the fucking blush coming back?!
"You were not here when I was in here before. Or am I blind?" He was smiling...
...and he looks more amused than turned on... but Ellie wasn't discouraged. "Nope! I just appeared out of nowhere, like magic! And whoops, I seem to have gotten myself chained to this bed... somehow... hehe!"
He crossed his arms over his chest and just looked at her, chuckling to himself. "What am I gonna do with you, girl..."
"I can think of a few things," she said sweetly. "You have to come a little closer, though..."
He started moving toward her very slowly. "How much closer?" he teased.
"A lot closer -- and lose the towel," she suggested.
"Yes ma'am..."
When he let the towel fall away, Ellie was happy to note that he did appear to be at least somewhat affected by the sight of her... and from whatever his imagination is cooking up, I guess? He climbed onto the bed... and just hovered over her. Like not even touching an inch of her, anywhere. He had a mischievous glint in his eye that was kind of scaring her a little. Uh-oh...
"This is gonna be real fun," he said evilly (yes, evilly!).
"What? What do you mean?" she all but shrieked, nudging him with her foot.
"Well... I just noticed when I got home -- we're out of bread. I reckon I'd better mosey on over to the--"
"Don't you fucking dare!" she seethed. "You can't leave me like this!"
"...Can't I?"
"No!"
"Huh. Well, it ain't my fault you--"
"Yes it is! It is your fucking fault -- you left this morning!"
"Only 'cause I had to. Duty called." He leaned in and calmly inspected her cuffed wrists. "You really did lock yourself up good, didn'tcha. You ain't goin' nowhere."
"And neither are you!"
"Me? I'm free to do as I please. No restrictions whatsoever on me."
"Joel! Stop being a dick! You're not supposed to-- ugh! You're supposed to... like..." She thought he was going to kiss her then, but he stopped short. And when she lunged toward him as best she could, quick as a flash he pulled right back. It was so fucking infuriating!
"What am I s'posed to do? Be... so overcome with lust that I just..."
"YES!" she groaned. "You're ruining everything!"
He laughed -- more like cackled, really. "You should see the look on your face right now. It's priceless."
"Fuck you!" Even though she knew it would do no good, she struggled to break free. Of the fucking locked handcuffs. She did manage to connect her foot with his chest, although she wouldn't exactly classify it as a kick...
"Calm down." He brought her leg up. Hitched it over his shoulder... kissed her ankle. He glanced at her. "Do you really think I would actually--"
"YES! You're evil!"
"...Evil?"
"Yes!"
He planted little kisses up her calf... her knee... her inner thigh... she sucked in her breath involuntarily. She was finally getting the right kind of attention from him...
"From where I'm sittin', you're the evil one," he declared.
"What? Why?" she breathed.
He kissed her belly button. "How is a man s'posed to resist you... like this? Hm?"
THIS is more like it! "Um... who says you have to resist me?" She tried to sound playful... coy... sexy. She wasn't sure if she succeeded.
"I s'pose we are a little beyond that now..." He took one of her nipples in his mouth.
"Fuck yeah we are... mmm..." She enjoyed the little ripples of pleasure he was producing... and tried not to feel frustrated at not being able to wrap her arms around him. I remember he complained about that when HE wore these! He had let her leg fall slack... she was tempted to bring it right back up to the side of his head, but... no, I'll just relax for now... I wonder what he's going to do next...
He switched to the other nipple... Ellie arched her back and "mmm"d some more to encourage him. And to reward him for finally being sweet!
"I ain't sure what's affectin' you more -- me, or bein' cold."
"You!" Duh!
He raised his head and finally kissed her lips. "I'll just have to warm you up."
"I'm not cold!" ...Okay, maybe she was a little bit cold, now that he mentioned it...
"Your body says otherwise. I'm drippin' water on you, too, which don't help, I'm sure--"
"You're fine," she assured him. Only his hair was still drip-wet, and it would dry soon enough. Ugh, there's stupid little goosebumps all over me! SO unsexy! "Like you said -- I guess you'll just have to warm me up. You're good at that." If he kept leaning over her, his body heat would do the trick... but it would be even better if he'd KISS them all away!
He caressed her cheek. "One thing we oughta do, when we're playin' with these cuffs... or any time, really... is have a safe word."
"A safe word?" she echoed. "I didn't even kick you that hard! Or... at all, really."
He chuckled. "I don't mean for that."
"No? Well, whatever you mean it for, I'm not gonna go to sleep just cuz you say a word."
"...Okay, you lost me. Why would I want you to do that?"
"Beats me! You're the one that said it!"
"Said what?"
"That we should have a safe word!"
He gave her a little kiss. "You're cute. It ain't got nothin' to do with goin' to sleep. Don' know where you got that--"
"We just saw it like... two weeks ago? Remember River kicking ass? You liked that part, even." She could see the comprehension dawning on him now.
"Right -- I forgot about that thing in the movie. That's... somethin' different. For normal folks, a safe word is like... you know how sometimes you say 'no,' or 'don't,' but you don't really mean it... and other times, you do?"
"I never mean it!" she protested.
"You do, sometimes."
Not really... and he was the one who said 'no' all the time! She supposed there may have been one or two times she meant it. "I guess... but you can always tell the difference," she pointed out.
"No, not always. I think... especially when there's roleplay involved... or like now, when you're... very much at my mercy..." This time he paused to flash her a wicked grin that made her stomach do its little flippy thing. "There needs to be a way to stop... where we don't have to... just be able to tell the difference. Where we don't have to rely on interpretation."
"Pfff. Why the fuck would I wanna stop you? I know you're not gonna hurt me. I trust you."
"It ain't about that. I mean... it is and it ain't. Just like with... everything else... trust is all well an' good, but I can't read your mind."
"Yes you can! Sometimes I swear you do!"
He chuckled. "Sometimes ain't all the time. Maybe you don't like somethin' I'm doin'. Maybe you want somethin' to be different. Somethin' makes you uncomfortable... or it hurts... I don' know. Maybe bein' restrained starts to make you feel like... just... there's plenty of reasons."
"Like... I have to pee?" she ventured.
"...Do you?"
"No," she laughed. "But that might be the only good reason!"
"Well... whatever the case may be. You use the safe word, I know you mean it. That way... you can play more. You can pretend you don't like bein' chained up. Pretend you have to pee. Ask me to unlock the cuffs an' let you go or somethin'."
"What, like... ask you, even though I don't want you to let me go?"
"Right."
"So you can be a dick and be like 'no way, bitch!' " she smirked.
He smiled. "Pretty much."
Ha! "Oh man... now I wanna hear you call me that. Or worse." Joel never called her any derogatory names, even when he was super mad at her. He might tell her she was "acting stupid" or something like that, but he would stop short of calling her, say, a stupid worthless cunt.
"As long as you don't use the word -- the safe word -- I'll know you're just playin', see. That you ain't truly upset."
Now that she thought about it, Ellie could see the value in it. "Same for you, right? I mean... you don't usually like it when I get too upset, so maybe you won't like it when I'm fake-upset, either. Maybe you won't like how it goes."
"Fair enough. You know I can be a real asshole, though."
"So?" she laughed.
"So... I think you're more likely to get truly upset than me, is all."
She snorted. "You can just stop whenever you want anyways... not like I can do anything about it. -Hey, how come we didn't have a word when you were the one who was locked up? Don't tell me this is some sexist idea of--"
"No, no, nothin' like that. Just didn't think about it beforehand. You're right -- we should've had one."
He did say later that it was a weird feeling, to be that dependent on me... and Joel didn't even have it that bad, in that motel -- all he would've had to do was stand up and he'd be free to move around. Whereas I can't move from this position at all! "We can still talk about it afterwards and stuff, right? What it felt like... or what we liked best..."
"Of course."
"Okay, so what's the word?" she asked eagerly.
"We have to agree on one. It can't be a word like 'no' or 'stop'... or anything else we might naturally say."
"...Like 'fuck'?"
"Ha -- yes, definitely not that. You'd have to think too hard about not sayin' that one."
"So... ... ...?"
"Only one I can think of is 'red.' Like a stop sign. That work for you?"
Ellie supposed she wasn't likely to scream out a color in the throes of passion and accidentally make him stop when she didn't want him to. "Stop signs have white on them, too," she informed him cheekily. And sometimes other colors, like if there's graffiti!
" 'Red'n'white' then, if you prefer, Miss Smartass."
"That's three words. You said it's supposed to be a safe word -- like, singular. Although River's was actually more than one word, too..." She giggled at the exasperated look on his face. "Okay, fine, I'm cool with 'red.' Not like I'm ever gonna have to use it."
"Never say never. You might be surprised."
Oh he's gonna smack me for this, but-- "I didn't say 'never' -- I said ever," she pointed out sweetly.
Joel groaned, but he was smiling when he kissed her. "You're lucky you're so damn cute."
"I guess I am... since I'm at your mercy and all..."
"Mm. I could just decide I wanna..." He trailed a hand idly down her chest, cupping a breast... then venturing lower... "...tickle the hell out of--"
"Don't you dare!" Ellie recoiled from the taunting hand as best she could -- although her best amounted to not very well at all. When she twisted sideways, she could scoot up into a sitting position with her legs tucked up to her chest, but she had no way to fully protect her vulnerable, very-ticklish sides!
He smirked. "I didn't say I was goin' to. Just that I could."
"No you can't! Not unless you want me to either say the word or fucking pee myself -- and prob'ly pee on you, since I'm naked!"
He climbed on top of her and tugged her down a little, extending her arms back over her head so she was laying down, but he let her keep her legs folded up. "Don't really want you to do either of those things, so I guess you're right: I can't." He leaned in and kissed her neck...
...which was pretty much guaranteed to make her melt. She spread her legs and coiled them around him, pulling his chest to hers... his groin to hers... "Fuck... you know what sucks about this? I can't touch you."
He kissed her throat... up to her lips. "We're touchin' pretty good right now..."
"I mean with my hands! Just like you said when it was your turn!"
"Mm. I'll miss you scratchin' my back when you get all excited..."
She still thought it was weird that he liked that. Like... he claimed it didn't even hurt. This was obviously a lie, though, because even when she asked him to do it to her, he refused to scratch her hard enough to draw blood. And she knew that he could if he wanted to; his nails weren't exactly tidily-groomed! She donned her most sweet'n'innocent smile. "I'd be happy to do that for you if you free my hands... sir..." The 'sir' slipped out before she realized that she probably didn't need it to convey that she was joking around and didn't really want him to do that -- isn't that the whole point of having a safe word?
"No can do, kiddo. I ain't done with you yet."
She tried to pout (which was kind of hard to do when she wanted to giggle). "Aww... who says you have to be done with me? I'm just saying... I'll make you feel good if you--"
"You're gonna make me feel good anyway. I'll make sure of that."
Ha! Again, she just wanted to giggle, but she tried to act apprehensive. "Uh... what's that supposed to mean? Like... you're gonna just... do whatever you have to... with me? So you can..."
"That's right." He slithered down to the other side of her neck. "Gonna use your body for my own pleasure. Mine alone -- to hell with yours."
She tightened her legs around him and arched her back a little. "Whoa... that's fucking hot," she whispered.
"What was that?" Joel lifted his head and looked at her like... he was practically giving her a deathglare.
Why is it so HOT that he's pretending to be mean? But it fucking was. And she knew he had heard what she said. "Oh -- um -- nothing? Just... please be nice..." Even though she was all kinds of turned on right now, part of her was still amused, too.
He kissed her again, harder this time... his tongue more aggressive than usual. When he pulled away, he nipped at her lower lip. "Nice enough for ya?"
"Yeahhh... I mean -- no! Fuck you! Let me go!" She managed to suppress a laugh, but she felt a gigglefit coming on. FUCK-- I don't wanna fuck this up-- it's so FUN--
"Nope. Don't think I will." He slid down to breast level. "You're my new favorite plaything."
She let out a little "ooooo" when he applied his lips to her nipple... when she felt his tongue swirling over it. "Not plaything... you mean a hellthing..."
"A hot-as-hell-thing. That's right." He massaged her other breast... somewhat roughly, rolling the nipple between his fingers.
"Fuck... you better not like... bite me..." She held her breath.
A jolt of pleasure shot up her spine when she felt his teeth clamp down.
"Jesus... ...I told you... not... to..."
"You don't get to tell me what to do, little girl," he smirked. He shifted his oral ministrations to the other breast, massaging the bitten one with his hand.
I don't THINK he's gonna bite again... because he'd gotten a feel for how often she liked him to do it (which was... not often). But now she found herself wanting him to nip the other one, too. "Oh shit... um... please don't bite me like that..."
"I'll do whatever I damn well please," he mumbled into her breast, lapping and sucking... and not-biting.
She thought about stage-whispering to him that it would be totally fine if he bit her again, but decided it was too risky to break character. "You're such a dick! Why can't you just let me go... mm.. mmmotherfucker..." He's making it too hard to act like I don't like it! His lips drifted down to her belly... and she had a pretty good idea where they were headed. Fuck, I'm getting wet just THINKING about--
"Can't do it. Haven't tasted you yet." He paused about halfway between her belly button and her nether regions and glanced up at her. "Ain't gonna apologize for it, either. I think you're actually enjoyin' this... somehow."
"Oh, I'm not -- not at all! No way!" ...She could say the words, but she couldn't even pretend to sound upset while saying them. Try harder, she instructed herself. Now that you have the WORD, you don't have to worry about him believing you too much or whatever... but FUCK... if he would just, like... She tried to scoot up a little, the better to align Joel's lips with her clit, but Joel suddenly coiled his arms around her legs so tightly that she couldn't move them.
"Where do you think you're goin'?" he drawled, his lips trailing lower... but then they strayed off to the side.
Of COURSE he's going to tease me right now! Ugghhh! "I won't let you... uh... fuck..." She watched intently as he kissed alllll around the happy place.
"Won't let me what? You seem a little... distracted."
"You're... disgusting... if you would just-- ohhhhh!" She watched him drag his tongue right smack through the middle of her folds in one smooth (and agonizingly slow) motion. When he caught her looking, though, she threw her head back. "Fuck, Joel... I have to... I can't fucking move..." The way he was restraining her lower half right now, she couldn't even move her hips -- couldn't move anything.
"That's the idea." And now he was sucking on her clit...
But I want to SMASH MYSELF INTO YOUR FUCKING FACE RIGHT NOW! She didn't say it out loud, though. Just whimpered softly. It seemed like not being able to move was intensifying the sensations, although that didn't make any sense to her. Maybe it doesn't make sense because my brain is like MUSH... it's such sweet fucking torture that I can't even SPEAK... but 'torture' wasn't really the right word... there ARE no words! Literally!... There was only Joel... playing her body like an instrument...
"Ellie. Say the word if you have to." He sounded far away, for some reason... but he was right there... face in her crotch...
Why the fuck would I want to stop?! She realized he was watching her... judging her reaction, maybe?... although he hadn't exactly stopped. He was still... basically breathing her pussy. She just shook her head and let out a shuddery breath.
He finally eased his grip, hitching her legs over his shoulders and allowing her to pulse at his hovering face. He's going to drive me CRAZY! His wet lips... his prickly whiskers... his talented tongue... they were heavenly, but still seemed to be set to tease mode. She usually wanted to spread her legs as wide as possible when she was this aroused, but now she coiled them around his head in an attempt to draw him closer.
Joel noticed. "Quite the vise-grip you got there..." He shifted his focus from immobilizing her legs to like... pushing her pelvis firmly into the bed and holding it there.
She moaned as his tongue darted in and out of her sex, probing her playfully -- and 'playful' was a level beyond 'teasing,' at least, but she still wanted more. "If you would just... fucking... uugghh!"
But Ellie forgot her annoyance when he finally allowed her vise-grippy legs to hold his head where she wanted it. "Oh my God, Joel... Jesus fuck... fucking..."
"...Fuck Jesus?"
"Fuck Jesus!" she affirmed, giggling breathlessly.
He grabbed hold of her legs -- at the knees this time -- and eased them up to her belly, holding them there while he dipped his face below, still somewhat lightly but allowing much more contact than his initial taunting endeavors. Her calves dangled uselessly; she could probably kick him (but why the fuck would she want to do that right now?!), she just couldn't hug his head and pull him closer. She also couldn't really see what he was doing anymore... so she closed her eyes and let her head loll back against the headboard.
She moaned and writhed, bucking whenever she felt his mouth on her. "I don't see... how this is for your pleasure... ooohhh..."
"Oh, it is. I'm makin' sure that when I do let you go, you don't wanna leave me. See how that works?"
"I don't want you to let me go! I want you to just keep... doing what you're doing... foreeevvveeerrrrrr..." She was done pretending otherwise!
When he released her legs again, they settled comfortably on his shoulders, and she didn't have to pull him in anymore -- finally he was doing more pleasuring than teasing.
She still felt a little guilty about letting him do this, when she couldn't even return the favor, but what choice did she have? It wasn't her fault he wouldn't let her suck him off. And sure, she could try to twist herself around to escape his magical mouth, but with his arms currently limiting the movement of her legs, that would be rather difficult. Of course, the more difficult thing would be to find the strength of will to do it, because it felt so... just... absolutely fucking amazing, almost like a very prolonged orgasm. Only he never quite brought her all the way... somehow, he kept her dangling on the brink. She strained against the handcuffs, instinctively trying to grab his head and hold it right where she wanted it, to just uuuuuunnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh -- but, Joel seemed to sense this, and was probably using it to further his cause of keeping her in the build-up phase, even though he was -- thank GOD -- doing way more than teasing now.
And how fucking hot does he look, smirking up at me like that with a face full of pussy?!
She kind of wished she didn't know about the annoying hairs-in-the-mouth thing he'd confessed to her recently, because since then, the thought would occasionally pop into her head when he was busy down there: does he have one in his mouth right now? Is it bugging him? Will I notice when he discreetly gets rid of it? If she ever asked, he would say no, possibly followed by a "don't worry about it." Thankfully, her body didn't let her dwell too long on shit like that; it was pretty insistent on making her feel those immensely pleasurable sensations instead.
Right now, she didn't care if Joel had ten annoying hairs in his mouth. She couldn't remember ever taking this long to have her first orgasm of the session... and if she was going to keep feeling this fucking good, she really didn't want to have one.
Or so she thought.
Finally, she reached a point where she just couldn't stand it anymore. "Joel -- oh my God -- oh fuck -- fuuuuck! -- fuck me now, Joel! Please! Ohhh please I can't stand it -- I'm gonna fucking explode --"
"Did I hear the magic three words?" he teased, wiping his face with her muff.
"Yes! FUCK ME, JOELLLLL! Hurry! I'm gonna come prob'ly the second you-- ohhhhhhhhh yeah... oh yeah... yessss, that's it!" He had never obliged that request quite so quickly before. And after all that fucking teasing! He's just-- BEYOND ready now, himself! "Ohhh, fuck me -- fuck me, Joel -- Oh my God -- harder-- do it harder!"
He had kept her legs up on his shoulders and just eased them back toward her body while he entered her, so her toes were pointing pretty much straight up in the air. Maybe it was her imagination or her highly aroused state, but it felt like he'd never plunged this deep inside before. She uttered a nonstop stream of moans and "ohh"s while he pumped away. The actual climax didn't elicit any extra moans, though; rather, her face froze -- her mouth open with no sound coming out. Like the speed of sound had been breached or something, stealing her voice -- and she had no idea if that even made sense, but that was the thought that popped into her blissed-out head!
"You like that angle," Joel concluded. He was still thrusting quickly, though it appeared he knew she was done (...and usually, this combination meant he was close to being done himself).
"Keep going," she urged him.
"For me or for you?"
"For you! You can finish!" She knew he wouldn't dare finish inside, but he was good at getting it pretty close. "Don't use your hand -- use me!" she giggled breathlessly. "It's only fair!"
But then Joel froze -- like, his entire body tensed up and came to an abrupt halt, mid-thrust.
Before she could ask him what was wrong/why did he stop -- a very familiar voice promptly provided the reason. Someone was standing in the doorway--
"What... in... the... HELL."
Shit--
Tommy!
~Continue to Chapter 35~