Notes from a day

[ludickid]

* Stringing a crossbow is usually considered a two-man job. But when one of the two men is me, the other man is unnecessary. Also, it is possible to construct a target environment in an urban apartment, but goodness knows what my neighbor thought of the whole ordeal

Comments

[zulkey]

I keep a nail brush in my shower. although actually I use it on my knees. the reason why will not interest you. but maybe that'll be an easy way just to keep yourself clean, ya filthy animal

I don't know why you would think something that happens in your shower would not interest me

[ludickid]

It's not that I don't know how to CLEAN under my fingernails. It's that I don't know how the fucking dirt gets there to begin with. I'm not a mechanic, but you wouldn't know that to look at my hands.

Maybe my keyboard is filthy.

Re: I don't know why you would think something that happens in your shower would not interest me

[zulkey]

I think you need to stop storing your cell phone in a pot of sod, that might help.

actually my shower is action-packed today. first, a can of shaving cream started leaking very very slowly, making a hissing sound and emitting an ever-growing dollop of foam. And later a grout man is coming. I need to start a blog about my shower.

[eme_kah]

I keep an eyebrow tweezer in my bathroom and I pluck my nose hairs. See? We're twins. Sort of.

[fiberpunk]

How did you manage to get a gallon of soda on the floor all at once? Please do not answer that you drink one of the welfare soda brands that come in the very large bottles.

[ludickid]

MY HEROIC STORY

The other day, I was on my way to work, and I had not slept in about 40 hours. In order to combat exhaustion, I stopped at the Valero and purchased one of those huge cups of soda that contains, if not an actual gallon, near as dammit of caffeinated brown bubble juice. As you may or may not know, these cups are too large to fit in the cup holder of an ordinary car, so I put it on the floor. Unfortunately, the trip from the Valero to my office is fairly short, and I was unable to drink more than about a quarter of the contents of this massive tanker of soda before arriving at the parking lot. I did not bring it in with me because walking around with a cup too big for me to fit my hand around makes me feel foolish. So I set it on the floor, and it melted into a vile froth of sugary shit in the San Antonio sun. On the way home I hit a pothole and it spilled all over the floor, the end.

In summary, I am stupid.

[fiberpunk]

I will give you notes on your story so that people will like you:

* You should add that you had not slept in 40 hours because you were busy supporting the troops.
* You should change "the Valero" to "a production of Bolero."
* Nobody likes to hear about cups of soda. Call it "the seventh Harry Potter book."
* The fact that you were driving to work makes you sound lazy. Perhaps you were riding a pogo stick.
* Use of "vile froth", "sugary shit" makes you sound angry. People want to hear about the real Leonard, the one who licked all the oil off of that duck.
* "Pothole" -> "hobo."

Please rewrite your comment and then delete both this and the first draft.

[ludickid]

I am always striving to be popular, so I will take your suggestions under advisement. Be aware that I actually was licking oil off of a duck while driving, but it was for recreational purposes rather than out of high-mindedness.

[oilyrags]

"Stringing a crossbow is usually considered a two-man job bizarrely anachronistic."

You're welcome.

[ludickid]

This from a guy who carries a flask, practices Chinese martial arts, and doesn't drive.

[oilyrags]

Getting drunk, punching people in the grill, and walking are timeless classics. Pretending you are William Tell or perhaps the Huntress is something else altogether.

(Anyway, it's not so much that I don't drive as I can't afford a car...yet.)

(Also, I haven't actually practiced taiji for a couple of years, although I miss it terribly, so that's just a technicality.)

(Now the flask is feeling all left out for not having a parenthetical.)