Fic: We Both Can Share the Dark
Title: We Both Can Share the Dark
Author: lucklessforhim
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2240
Pairing: Dean/Jo
Summary: This world you're in now, I'll get there somehow. I know, I know, I know. It's easier to let go.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters (or the recycled dialogue you come across) and I am making no money writing this. It's just for fun. Title and summary taken from "Nightminds" by Missy Higgins.
Beta: Just me! Kindly excuse any typos. :-)
Note: New installment of my post-BUABS series with Jo on the road with the Boys. You will want to have read the other stories in the series for this one to make complete sense. Please, read and tell me what you think! Seriously, comments absolutely make my day. ♥
Catch up at the masterpost for this 'verse... HERE
The next 36 hours were a blur to Jo. Snippets of time and glimpses of scenes were playing over and over on a loop in her head. Dean and Bobby carrying Sam into one of the houses and putting him on a bed; Dean, gripping her shoulders so hard she's sure there are bruises, begging her to do something to save Sam, begging God to take him instead; sitting on the floor at the at the edge of the bed where Sam was laid, holding Dean's head in her lap, stroking his hair in a way he hadn't had done for him since Mary Winchester was alive, while he cried for his baby brother and his father and his failure.
She was watching for Bobby to come back, rifle laid across her lap - just in case - as she sat on the edge of the porch. He'd gone out to get some food. Jo knew that meant the same thing it had meant since Sam died: something close and probably fried. The only thing she asked Bobby for was some bottled water, ginger ale, and peanuts. She knew she needed some protein, but had practically no appetite and didn't feel like she could keep anything else down anyway, and now was definitely not the time for Dean to start asking questions. He needed to deal with his grief first.
"Hey."
She sighed back tiredly. "Hey. Did you get my stuff?"
"Yep," Bobby said, handing her the paper sack while looking warily at the door. "You left him alone?"
Jo looked at the door and the thought of the pain that permeated the entire house brought tears to her eyes. "I uh…I couldn't stay in there much longer without a break. He's completely closed himself off. Acts like I'm not even in the room. I've only been out here for about half an hour, but I just couldn't take anymore of it. The whole place reeks of pain and evil and grief. It was too much…"
"I'm sorry." Bobby pulled her into his arms and she allowed herself to let go for just a second. A single sob escaped, but no tears.
She pulled back and sighed looking back up at Bobby. "Tell me you didn't bring any alcohol. He's almost finished with the bottle of tequila that was in the Impala and it would be just fantastic if he didn't have the chance to drink himself to death."
"Nah. I just brought your stuff and this," Bobby said, thrusting the bucket of lukewarm chicken into her personal space.
Jo's stomach churned at the smell of the fried chicken and she pushed the bucket away from her face, turning to open the door to the house. She poked her head in cautiously. You could never tell what kind of a mood he'd be in. "Dean? Dean, honey, Bobby's back."
"I brought you this back. You should eat something," Bobby called into the bedroom.
"No thanks, I'm fine," was the detached reply they got back.
"Dean, honey--"
"I said, I'm fine!" Dean roared, turning towards Bobby and Jo. He would have felt guilty for the flinch on Jo's face if he hadn't been so caught up in his own pain.
"Dean," Bobby began "I hate to ask this, but don't you think it's time we bury Sam?"
"No."
"We could--"
"What? Torch his corpse? Not yet."
"Dean, babe…We need to do something." Jo was caught watching the man she loves unravel before her, unable to stop it. Dean just stared at her.
Bobby tried a different tactic, an appeal to the hunter in Dean. "I want you both to come with me. There's a lot going down. I need your help."
"No. I'm not going anywhere."
"This is end-of-the-world big, son."
"Then, let it end!"
"You don't mean that." At least, Jo prayed that, somewhere deep down he didn't.
"You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough, you don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it…Go! Both of you!" Dean ripped his arm from Jo's grasp and pushed Bobby towards the door. "I'm sorry…please…just go…"
Jo had to physically grit her teeth against the wave of pain that went through her hearing how broken he was.
"You know where to find me." Bobby started toward the door while Jo followed him in disbelief.
Just off the porch she took his arm and spun him around to face her. "You're leaving him?!"
"Man wants me to go." Bobby shrugged, knowing better than to push the issue right now. "And I think you should come with me, back to the house."
Jo shook her head, stomach churning at the mere thought of her Dean alone in a house with the dead body of his baby brother and misery as his only company. "I won't leave him like this. Not now. I won't do it, Bobby." Jo was just as stubborn as Dean; sometimes to a fault, especially where Dean was concerned.
She was about to head back up the porch steps into the house when Bobby grabbed her arm, tight. The urgency in his eyes and in his voice when he spoke startled her. "Now you listen to me, Joanna. I'm not leaving here without you."
"Bobby--"
"No. Don't argue with me, okay? I'm going to pull the truck behind those trees back there. You do what you gotta do as far as Dean is concerned, but if anything goes wrong or you start to feel like he might do something rash, you holler and I'll come for you."
Oh my God. He's serious. He thinks Dean might hurt me. "Bobby, Dean is not going to hurt me. He wouldn't do tha--"
"You listen to me, and really hear this. Dean is capable of anything right now. He's not thinking clearly, he's mad with grief." Bobby watched that sink in on Jo's face; the fact that the man she loves could possibly hurt her, something that never ever seemed possible until now. "You do what you need to do, and I'm going to do what I need to do to keep you safe." They were the only family the three of them had left.
Jo nodded and slowly walked back up the steps, giving Bobby one final nod at the door, and watching him start to move his truck. Fortifying herself with one last deep breath, she walked back into the fire; trying like hell to pull Dean out of it.
Dean looked up in surprise from where he was sitting at the table with his head in his hands. "I told you both to go."
"Bobby's leaving, but I'm not."
"Jo, do not argue with me."
"I'm not trying to argue with you, but I'm not leaving you here alone." Crossing her arms across her chest was her signal that she'd made up her mind. Even in his current state, Dean knew it would just be easier to go along with it...or now.
Jo could have sworn that he mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like, "I'm not alone…" and that chilled her to the core.
Jo started to cautiously try and approach him. "You need help, Dean. Please, let me help you…"
Dean stepped right in front of her, inches away from her face, invading her space. "I don't want you here and I don't want to talk about anything."
"Then don't talk to me, but you're all I have left." Jo both hated how her voice cracked at the end of that, and hoped that maybe Dean seeing she was in pain would kick him into action. Make him see that he had something to live for other than Sam. "I'm not going to leave here without you."
Dean turned and grabbed the bottle of tequila off the table and started to walk back into the bedroom. "You can't save me from this Jo."
That's not going to stop me from trying.
Hours passed and Jo watched it get dark. True to his word, Dean ignored her; stared out the window, finished the tequila, and sat with Sam's body. She started a fire at dusk and retook her place sitting against the wall in the dining room. Every hour or so, she 'stretched her legs.' She went outside to check in with Bobby and take a break from the anguish that was pouring off of Dean in waves.
Jo was sitting on the porch looking at the sky blanketed in stars, thinking about how quickly her life had spiraled out of control, when she heard it. Dean screamed from inside the house, "What am I supposed to do?!"
"Dean…" she whispered, her mind rapidly processing what was happening. Her heart started racing. She knew what he was going to do. She knew exactly where he was going when he threw the door open, pulling his jacket on. The keys to the impala were in his hands, ready to go.
"Dean, where are you going?!"
"Leave me alone."
"No. NO!" Jo grabbed his arm as he went down the porch steps, practically dragging her along with him. Once she was off the steps (after having avoided a near-miss with tripping over the last one), Jo planted her feet and tugged on Dean's arm hard enough to get him to face her. "I have left you alone long enough! If you think I'm just going to wave to you from the window while you go destroy your life too, you're crazy. You are bat shit INSANE, Winchester, if you think I'm going to do that!"
The yelling brought Bobby out of his stakeout spot. "Jo?"
She barely risked a glance away from Dean to reassure him with a short, "I'm fine, Bobby. I can handle this."
Dean's stare was hard and cold as he just looked at her. "You don't trust me?"
Jo stroked his cheek and softly said, "Babe, you're not thinking clearly. And Bobby insisted that he stay, I told him things would be fine." Jo tugged gently on his arm as she pleaded, "Don't make a liar out of me…"
There was a chill in his voice when he said "Let go," that made Bobby's heart sink.
"Dean, plea-- Ah!" Dean pulled his arm from Jo's grasp so roughly that she spun backward and her side hit the railing on the porch while her head had the misfortune of knocking against a post. The thud Bobby and Dean heard when she fell to the ground echoed throughout the entire ghost town.
Bobby ran after her, kneeling at her side as she tried to steady her vision. "Jesus, Dean! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Bobby berated him.
Jo looked up at him with vision clouded from her knock on the head and tears, and made one last appeal for him to stay. There was no way he could have missed the way her voice cracked and broke when she said, "Dean…Please…"
Jo never wanted to see Dean Winchester walk away from her like that again. The steely resolve to ruin his own life cut into her heart more and more with each step.
Jo was still getting up her strength to stand when she heard the Impala roar to life. Grabbing on to Bobby's forearms, she hoisted herself up. "We've gotta go after him," she said, her vision blurring a little.
"Whoa," Bobby said, seeing her start to sway on her feet. "You're not going anywhere. You're going to sit down."
"No." Jo was close to frantic, desperately trying to make him understand. "We HAVE to go after him, Bobby. He's going to do something stupid and he doesn't know. He can't do this without knowing!" Bobby watched the color drain from her face. "Oh no…" Jo turned abruptly to her right and threw up. Whether it was the head injury or the stress or the pregnancy, she didn't know.
"You okay, Jo?"
"Umm…" Her mind was racing. She needed to find Dean. Jo wasn't sure she wanted to explain the whole long thing right this second.
However, the pain that shot through her side across her abdomen made up her mind for her. "Ah! Oh God…" Dean could wait.
Bobby shook her a little, worriedly asking, "Jo? What's going on?"
Jo clutched onto Bobby's arm and started limping toward the truck. "Okay, listen. You need to take me to the hospital."
"What? Why? Did you hit your head that hard?" Bobby moved to try and get a look at her pupils.
Jo kept limping towards the truck. "No." She stopped to take a steadying breath as another wave of pain flashed from the side that hit the porch. "I'm pregnant."
"Come again?"
"I'm pregnant, okay! I found out a few days before Sam disappeared. I thought I had time to…" Jo trailed off suddenly contemplating all the things she thought she had time to do in life. Now, she wasn't so sure any of them were possible. "I thought I had time." she repeated before concluding, "But now, with that blow I took from the porch-- I need to get to a hospital, Bobby."
Bobby nodded, opening the passenger side door. "It's alright. I got ya, okay?" Jo nodded as Bobby lifted her up into the cab of the truck before he raced her to the closest hospital he could find.
The End.
Note: Nice ending, right?
Author: lucklessforhim
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2240
Pairing: Dean/Jo
Summary: This world you're in now, I'll get there somehow. I know, I know, I know. It's easier to let go.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters (or the recycled dialogue you come across) and I am making no money writing this. It's just for fun. Title and summary taken from "Nightminds" by Missy Higgins.
Beta: Just me! Kindly excuse any typos. :-)
Note: New installment of my post-BUABS series with Jo on the road with the Boys. You will want to have read the other stories in the series for this one to make complete sense. Please, read and tell me what you think! Seriously, comments absolutely make my day. ♥
Catch up at the masterpost for this 'verse... HERE
The next 36 hours were a blur to Jo. Snippets of time and glimpses of scenes were playing over and over on a loop in her head. Dean and Bobby carrying Sam into one of the houses and putting him on a bed; Dean, gripping her shoulders so hard she's sure there are bruises, begging her to do something to save Sam, begging God to take him instead; sitting on the floor at the at the edge of the bed where Sam was laid, holding Dean's head in her lap, stroking his hair in a way he hadn't had done for him since Mary Winchester was alive, while he cried for his baby brother and his father and his failure.
She was watching for Bobby to come back, rifle laid across her lap - just in case - as she sat on the edge of the porch. He'd gone out to get some food. Jo knew that meant the same thing it had meant since Sam died: something close and probably fried. The only thing she asked Bobby for was some bottled water, ginger ale, and peanuts. She knew she needed some protein, but had practically no appetite and didn't feel like she could keep anything else down anyway, and now was definitely not the time for Dean to start asking questions. He needed to deal with his grief first.
"Hey."
She sighed back tiredly. "Hey. Did you get my stuff?"
"Yep," Bobby said, handing her the paper sack while looking warily at the door. "You left him alone?"
Jo looked at the door and the thought of the pain that permeated the entire house brought tears to her eyes. "I uh…I couldn't stay in there much longer without a break. He's completely closed himself off. Acts like I'm not even in the room. I've only been out here for about half an hour, but I just couldn't take anymore of it. The whole place reeks of pain and evil and grief. It was too much…"
"I'm sorry." Bobby pulled her into his arms and she allowed herself to let go for just a second. A single sob escaped, but no tears.
She pulled back and sighed looking back up at Bobby. "Tell me you didn't bring any alcohol. He's almost finished with the bottle of tequila that was in the Impala and it would be just fantastic if he didn't have the chance to drink himself to death."
"Nah. I just brought your stuff and this," Bobby said, thrusting the bucket of lukewarm chicken into her personal space.
Jo's stomach churned at the smell of the fried chicken and she pushed the bucket away from her face, turning to open the door to the house. She poked her head in cautiously. You could never tell what kind of a mood he'd be in. "Dean? Dean, honey, Bobby's back."
"I brought you this back. You should eat something," Bobby called into the bedroom.
"No thanks, I'm fine," was the detached reply they got back.
"Dean, honey--"
"I said, I'm fine!" Dean roared, turning towards Bobby and Jo. He would have felt guilty for the flinch on Jo's face if he hadn't been so caught up in his own pain.
"Dean," Bobby began "I hate to ask this, but don't you think it's time we bury Sam?"
"No."
"We could--"
"What? Torch his corpse? Not yet."
"Dean, babe…We need to do something." Jo was caught watching the man she loves unravel before her, unable to stop it. Dean just stared at her.
Bobby tried a different tactic, an appeal to the hunter in Dean. "I want you both to come with me. There's a lot going down. I need your help."
"No. I'm not going anywhere."
"This is end-of-the-world big, son."
"Then, let it end!"
"You don't mean that." At least, Jo prayed that, somewhere deep down he didn't.
"You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough, you don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it…Go! Both of you!" Dean ripped his arm from Jo's grasp and pushed Bobby towards the door. "I'm sorry…please…just go…"
Jo had to physically grit her teeth against the wave of pain that went through her hearing how broken he was.
"You know where to find me." Bobby started toward the door while Jo followed him in disbelief.
Just off the porch she took his arm and spun him around to face her. "You're leaving him?!"
"Man wants me to go." Bobby shrugged, knowing better than to push the issue right now. "And I think you should come with me, back to the house."
Jo shook her head, stomach churning at the mere thought of her Dean alone in a house with the dead body of his baby brother and misery as his only company. "I won't leave him like this. Not now. I won't do it, Bobby." Jo was just as stubborn as Dean; sometimes to a fault, especially where Dean was concerned.
She was about to head back up the porch steps into the house when Bobby grabbed her arm, tight. The urgency in his eyes and in his voice when he spoke startled her. "Now you listen to me, Joanna. I'm not leaving here without you."
"Bobby--"
"No. Don't argue with me, okay? I'm going to pull the truck behind those trees back there. You do what you gotta do as far as Dean is concerned, but if anything goes wrong or you start to feel like he might do something rash, you holler and I'll come for you."
Oh my God. He's serious. He thinks Dean might hurt me. "Bobby, Dean is not going to hurt me. He wouldn't do tha--"
"You listen to me, and really hear this. Dean is capable of anything right now. He's not thinking clearly, he's mad with grief." Bobby watched that sink in on Jo's face; the fact that the man she loves could possibly hurt her, something that never ever seemed possible until now. "You do what you need to do, and I'm going to do what I need to do to keep you safe." They were the only family the three of them had left.
Jo nodded and slowly walked back up the steps, giving Bobby one final nod at the door, and watching him start to move his truck. Fortifying herself with one last deep breath, she walked back into the fire; trying like hell to pull Dean out of it.
Dean looked up in surprise from where he was sitting at the table with his head in his hands. "I told you both to go."
"Bobby's leaving, but I'm not."
"Jo, do not argue with me."
"I'm not trying to argue with you, but I'm not leaving you here alone." Crossing her arms across her chest was her signal that she'd made up her mind. Even in his current state, Dean knew it would just be easier to go along with it...or now.
Jo could have sworn that he mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like, "I'm not alone…" and that chilled her to the core.
Jo started to cautiously try and approach him. "You need help, Dean. Please, let me help you…"
Dean stepped right in front of her, inches away from her face, invading her space. "I don't want you here and I don't want to talk about anything."
"Then don't talk to me, but you're all I have left." Jo both hated how her voice cracked at the end of that, and hoped that maybe Dean seeing she was in pain would kick him into action. Make him see that he had something to live for other than Sam. "I'm not going to leave here without you."
Dean turned and grabbed the bottle of tequila off the table and started to walk back into the bedroom. "You can't save me from this Jo."
That's not going to stop me from trying.
Hours passed and Jo watched it get dark. True to his word, Dean ignored her; stared out the window, finished the tequila, and sat with Sam's body. She started a fire at dusk and retook her place sitting against the wall in the dining room. Every hour or so, she 'stretched her legs.' She went outside to check in with Bobby and take a break from the anguish that was pouring off of Dean in waves.
Jo was sitting on the porch looking at the sky blanketed in stars, thinking about how quickly her life had spiraled out of control, when she heard it. Dean screamed from inside the house, "What am I supposed to do?!"
"Dean…" she whispered, her mind rapidly processing what was happening. Her heart started racing. She knew what he was going to do. She knew exactly where he was going when he threw the door open, pulling his jacket on. The keys to the impala were in his hands, ready to go.
"Dean, where are you going?!"
"Leave me alone."
"No. NO!" Jo grabbed his arm as he went down the porch steps, practically dragging her along with him. Once she was off the steps (after having avoided a near-miss with tripping over the last one), Jo planted her feet and tugged on Dean's arm hard enough to get him to face her. "I have left you alone long enough! If you think I'm just going to wave to you from the window while you go destroy your life too, you're crazy. You are bat shit INSANE, Winchester, if you think I'm going to do that!"
The yelling brought Bobby out of his stakeout spot. "Jo?"
She barely risked a glance away from Dean to reassure him with a short, "I'm fine, Bobby. I can handle this."
Dean's stare was hard and cold as he just looked at her. "You don't trust me?"
Jo stroked his cheek and softly said, "Babe, you're not thinking clearly. And Bobby insisted that he stay, I told him things would be fine." Jo tugged gently on his arm as she pleaded, "Don't make a liar out of me…"
There was a chill in his voice when he said "Let go," that made Bobby's heart sink.
"Dean, plea-- Ah!" Dean pulled his arm from Jo's grasp so roughly that she spun backward and her side hit the railing on the porch while her head had the misfortune of knocking against a post. The thud Bobby and Dean heard when she fell to the ground echoed throughout the entire ghost town.
Bobby ran after her, kneeling at her side as she tried to steady her vision. "Jesus, Dean! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Bobby berated him.
Jo looked up at him with vision clouded from her knock on the head and tears, and made one last appeal for him to stay. There was no way he could have missed the way her voice cracked and broke when she said, "Dean…Please…"
Jo never wanted to see Dean Winchester walk away from her like that again. The steely resolve to ruin his own life cut into her heart more and more with each step.
Jo was still getting up her strength to stand when she heard the Impala roar to life. Grabbing on to Bobby's forearms, she hoisted herself up. "We've gotta go after him," she said, her vision blurring a little.
"Whoa," Bobby said, seeing her start to sway on her feet. "You're not going anywhere. You're going to sit down."
"No." Jo was close to frantic, desperately trying to make him understand. "We HAVE to go after him, Bobby. He's going to do something stupid and he doesn't know. He can't do this without knowing!" Bobby watched the color drain from her face. "Oh no…" Jo turned abruptly to her right and threw up. Whether it was the head injury or the stress or the pregnancy, she didn't know.
"You okay, Jo?"
"Umm…" Her mind was racing. She needed to find Dean. Jo wasn't sure she wanted to explain the whole long thing right this second.
However, the pain that shot through her side across her abdomen made up her mind for her. "Ah! Oh God…" Dean could wait.
Bobby shook her a little, worriedly asking, "Jo? What's going on?"
Jo clutched onto Bobby's arm and started limping toward the truck. "Okay, listen. You need to take me to the hospital."
"What? Why? Did you hit your head that hard?" Bobby moved to try and get a look at her pupils.
Jo kept limping towards the truck. "No." She stopped to take a steadying breath as another wave of pain flashed from the side that hit the porch. "I'm pregnant."
"Come again?"
"I'm pregnant, okay! I found out a few days before Sam disappeared. I thought I had time to…" Jo trailed off suddenly contemplating all the things she thought she had time to do in life. Now, she wasn't so sure any of them were possible. "I thought I had time." she repeated before concluding, "But now, with that blow I took from the porch-- I need to get to a hospital, Bobby."
Bobby nodded, opening the passenger side door. "It's alright. I got ya, okay?" Jo nodded as Bobby lifted her up into the cab of the truck before he raced her to the closest hospital he could find.
The End.
Note: Nice ending, right?