The Beguiling of Bruce Wayne (24/30)
Title: The Beguiling of Bruce Wayne
Summary: The Joker’s behaving awfully romantic for some reason, and its driving Bruce Wayne completely batshit.
Chapters: 24/30
Pairing: Batman/Joker
Rating: R
Beta: Lady_Venom
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything but my twisted imagination
24
Bruce idly wondered if the walls were changing colour, or if it was just his blood pressure breaking through his veins.
“Joker.”
“Yes?”
“No more quips, or this conversation is over.”
“Yes darling.” The voice was very meek. “Please, tell me about the dress.”
Bruce found his jaw working soundlessly as he contemplated the bizarre nature of his conversation. However, before a reply could formulate, his companion had called him away to give critique on her dress: Bruce found himself saying, “It looks better in red,” and then looking at the phone in his hand with horror.
The scream of laugher from the hand phone was audible even without the aid of a hands-free.
“You’ve got a very happy friend on the line,” his companion smiled as she disappeared back into the changing room.
“He should be; his stocks have been singing like a canary,” Bruce replied glibly as he walked with a deliberately unhurried pace to a more remote corner. In to the phone he snarled “Shut up!”
“Oh. OH. I knew you liked the dress,”
Whether the laughter had changed, or he had changed, Bruce didn’t care. It was not hard imagining the tears of mirth smearing black tracks on the pasted face, and briefly, Bruce found himself wondering if he would ever be able to laugh like that. He found himself wanting to try. He felt an expansion within, unfamiliar and almost like panic, except better, and it wanted to come out in chortles-
“Bruce, could you come over and zip me up?”
There was a sudden, frigid silence from the phone. “Ah. Hold on,” Bruce said uncomfortably as he placed the phone on a display shelf before moving back to the changing rooms.
He told himself there was no way he could afford to risk another round of the Joker’s laughter spilling out for other ears.
He knew he was lying.
His companion gave him a speculative look, which Bruce ignored. As he went back to the retrieve his phone, he found himself feeling unaccountably guilty for no good reason at all.
“She must be pretty.”
Blatant Jealousy in the Joker’s voice- why did he feel like smiling?
“Spare me the hissy fits. Your last one was not cute.”
To his surprise, Bruce was actually obeyed, which made him instantly suspicious.
“Yes sir, Mister Batsy sir. Is it a nice dress?”
“I suppose.”
“Is it a… very nice dress?”
Bruce knew he shouldn’t be participating in such inanities; encouraging their frivolous, flirtatious palavers. He shrugged. “Its adequate.”
“How do you think I’d look in that?”
Bruce found himself rooted to the spot as the Joker’s low, insinuating voice slithered over him like a warm, beckoning liquid. Now that he’d stopped rolling his syllabus and speaking in that exaggerated nasal voice, the sensation of listening to him speak through a phone pressed to his face was an oddly intimate one.
He’d give anything for the sudden dryness in his throat to go away as he rasped, “It’d go well with a straight jacket.”
“I bet I could fill it out much better than that mannequin. And you…”
The joker’s voice was low, with an undertone of teasing that made him think of tongues.
“You…you’d get to take it off.”
*