Damn! Inhabitants. Julian hadn’t realised he’d closed his eyes until he realised he was opening them again to stare blearily at the man in the hallway. He pushed himself on to his back inelegantly, protectively raising his hands to shield his face in case the owner got any funny ideas with that cricket bat
( ... )
Look-- [Julian reopened his eyes and turned around again, both sounding and looking a little mortified. He was caught off-guard by the sudden colouring of Rob's cheeks - a conspicuously human rush of blood that made something awful and primal lurch deep inside Julian's chest. Once again he was acutely aware of how thirsty he was and he took a few quick paces across the kitchen before he caught himself]
For the time being couldn't we just CALL it a coma? You wouldn't believe the truth, honestly.
[ Rob immediately took a step backwards for each that Julian took forward. He was too much a mixture of excitement and fright for this - and the closer Julian got, the more fear spill into Rob's head. He dug his own nails into his arms, holding onto himself so that he was not able to hold anything else. ]
Considering that I met you after you ripped my door handle off and collapsed in my hallway, my belief is accordingly suspended, I think. [ In Rob's mind, there is of course nothing more unnatural and unbelievable than his own situation. ]
Well, what if I DID die this morning... [Julian couldn't quite believe what he was doing. He touched the back of a chair tucked under the table, at once both uncertain and evasive, and swallowed nervously] That's a bit ridiculous, isn't it? And what if I did that every morning? And woke up again every night. Not many people would believe that.
[ Not quite taking him seriously, Rob shrugged, waving a hand absently. ] I hardly see any other explanation for it. I mean, I was fairly certain you weren't breathing this morning. I checked. Er. Carefully.
[ ... well yes, this does seem rather absurd now that Rob was thinking about it more clearly. ]
Aw, did you? That's - that's nice! [Julian forgot himself and looked momentarily pleased that someone had actually checked his breathing during daylight hours. It struck him as oddly quaint (in an endearingly human kind of way) and a little bit flattering that someone would do something quite so... silly. Not that Rob knew it was silly of course, but between the blanket, the note about the tea and checking his breathing it struck Julian as something unexpectedly nice all the same.]
[Inescapably sidetracked a little intrigued at what he must look like as a dead man Julian couldn't help but ask more. He tucked his hands by his sides and beamed, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be nervously confessing his true vampiric nature to a near-complete stranger.]
[ Rob felt his cheeks flush a little again, and his words came out in a vague mumble before he stopped, rephrased and spoke a little more clearly. ] I wasn't just about to leave you there for the entire day! That would be- well. Mean. [ He finished a little pathetically, swallowing a little and staring at the floor before stealing a little glance at Julian. ]
[ The beaming was rather disarming. At least Julian wasn't another one of those beastly, ungrateful drunks that popped up every so often (it was at this point that Rob realised having a bright yellow door only drew attention to his home, and considered the option of painting it something more unassuming), and Rob was momentarily taken aback by the shift in personality. ]
Well, uh, that probably would have worked better, but- no. No, I just waved my hand around in front of your face a little. [ This had sounded a lot less ridiculous and juvenile in his head. ]
Oh! I don’t suppose you’d have a mirror on you anyway. So. [Julian couldn’t decide if he was disappointed that there wasn’t a mirror being brandished at his face or any kind of dramatic CPR attempt involved or not. The more he thought about it the more it appealed to him in a funny kind of way - that somebody would care to do that kind of thing for him, especially when they didn’t even know him. It was like something out of a Holby City Halloween special.]
[If Julian had ever lost faith in humanity in the first place then Rob might very well have restored it, but as it was he was fairly easily pleased when it came to the daily trials and tribulations of human life.]
[Augh, but that damn blush was back! He gripped the back of the chair tightly and looked down at the floor, suddenly finding it very hard to concentrate] Right, so, what was I saying? Before the... whole Niceness thing. [He distractedly rubbed his mouth with his jumper sleeve as he struggled to regain his train of thought]
[ In order for Rob to perform dramatic CPR on someone, it would require him to actually have a) a backbone or b) a general desire to touch people. Of these things he had neither. He scratched at the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly, eyes trained on a slightly loose floorboard near Julian's feet. ]
What were you- [ ... it occurred to Rob that he had pretty much already forgotten where their conversation had previously been. ] Uh. Hmm. Something about dying every day being hard to believe? I think. Maybe. I'm not entirely sure.
Oh, yeah. [Julian's hand dropped away from his mouth and he pulled his sleeves down past his fingertips, knotting them up between his fingers.] Which it is, right? Unbelievable, that is. So I don't generally try and explain it to people hence the - [he waved his sleeve around vaguely] - the diabetic thing. Which, yeah, okay, was a bit of a lie. Sorry. Blood sugar is really not my problem.
... Hang about- so you really did die? [ He stared at Julian as though he'd just grown a second head. ] Jesus Christ. That- that's quite the uh, condition. You have.
[ He ventured forth the following question timidly: ] So if it isn't blood sugar, what is it?
Uhh. It's - yeah, I'm a vampire? [Julian didn't mean his words to come out like a question - but saying them aloud to someone that wasn't one already just sounded so alien that he half-wanted to seek some kind of validation from someone in the room that wasn't him. He winced in embarrassment.]
[And then because the evening simply wasn't awkward enough Julian attempted the most stupid and ill-conceived joke possible:] ...Although now I've told you I'll have to kill you!
"You're..." Rob trailed off stupidly. He couldn't exactly talk, given his own situation, but it was quite a surprise nonetheless. He shuffled from foot to foot, quiet for a long moment before he realised he had never actually finished his sentence. "I mean-" he cleared his throat awkwardly, frowning in a mildly confused manner. "Well, I'm not about to throw you out just becuase you're a... vampire..." It was a little difficult to get the word out, but Rob did his best nonetheless, continuing a little faintly and stupidly, managing to look up at Julian and overcoming his awkwardness through sheer force of bemusement. "I don't know - isn't that a bit. Racist? I guess?"
Incidentally, Rob had no idea what in the world he was talking about. The ludicrous nature of this entire meeting and conversation was making a little involuntary laughter bubble up in his throat, and a stupid, moronic smile was starting to tug at the corners of his mouth. Laughing at his own general stupidity was something he was fairly used to, at least.
Rob's long moment of quiet seemed to go on forever as Julian hovered expectantly by the table, one hand resting on his coat in anticipation. But Rob's smile broke the apprehensive pause and, rubbing the back of his neck with a free hand, Julian laughed. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't blame you if you did. I mean - not only am I a vampire but I broke your door too," he added, his expression turning deadpan as he gestured back to the front door some way behind Rob.
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For the time being couldn't we just CALL it a coma? You wouldn't believe the truth, honestly.
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Considering that I met you after you ripped my door handle off and collapsed in my hallway, my belief is accordingly suspended, I think. [ In Rob's mind, there is of course nothing more unnatural and unbelievable than his own situation. ]
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[ ... well yes, this does seem rather absurd now that Rob was thinking about it more clearly. ]
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[Inescapably sidetracked a little intrigued at what he must look like as a dead man Julian couldn't help but ask more. He tucked his hands by his sides and beamed, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be nervously confessing his true vampiric nature to a near-complete stranger.]
How carefully? Did you get a mirror or something?
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[ The beaming was rather disarming. At least Julian wasn't another one of those beastly, ungrateful drunks that popped up every so often (it was at this point that Rob realised having a bright yellow door only drew attention to his home, and considered the option of painting it something more unassuming), and Rob was momentarily taken aback by the shift in personality. ]
Well, uh, that probably would have worked better, but- no. No, I just waved my hand around in front of your face a little. [ This had sounded a lot less ridiculous and juvenile in his head. ]
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[If Julian had ever lost faith in humanity in the first place then Rob might very well have restored it, but as it was he was fairly easily pleased when it came to the daily trials and tribulations of human life.]
[Augh, but that damn blush was back! He gripped the back of the chair tightly and looked down at the floor, suddenly finding it very hard to concentrate] Right, so, what was I saying? Before the... whole Niceness thing. [He distractedly rubbed his mouth with his jumper sleeve as he struggled to regain his train of thought]
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What were you- [ ... it occurred to Rob that he had pretty much already forgotten where their conversation had previously been. ] Uh. Hmm. Something about dying every day being hard to believe? I think. Maybe. I'm not entirely sure.
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[ He ventured forth the following question timidly: ] So if it isn't blood sugar, what is it?
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[And then because the evening simply wasn't awkward enough Julian attempted the most stupid and ill-conceived joke possible:] ...Although now I've told you I'll have to kill you!
[He laughed feebly]
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What. ]
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Yeah. Now you see why I went for the diabetic coma thing first.
[He moved to pick up his coat and scarf from where they lay draped over the chair] should I go?
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Incidentally, Rob had no idea what in the world he was talking about. The ludicrous nature of this entire meeting and conversation was making a little involuntary laughter bubble up in his throat, and a stupid, moronic smile was starting to tug at the corners of his mouth. Laughing at his own general stupidity was something he was fairly used to, at least.
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