Amy Pond, Honeymoon - Take Two (River/Amy)
Title: Amy Pond, Honeymoon - Take Two
Characters/Pairings: River/Amy
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1,500
Summary: Amy's honeymoon - her second - doesn't exactly go to plan.
Notes: For the spoiler_song secret santa ficathon. I don't know who it's for because that information wasn't included in the PM I got but the prompt is: Amy is River’s wife, Amy meets River before River meets her, wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff.
Amy looked at the ring on her finger and smiled. It was the second wedding ring she’d worn; two more than she had even thought she would. She really hoped she wouldn’t make it to three. One wedding had been bad enough; two had been pushing it, but three... definitely not. There was only so many times you could get away with wearing white.
At least, that’s what her mother had told her, just before she walked down the aisle. Not that there was an aisle in a spaceship. Well, not most of the time. She had accidentally stumbled into a chapel in the TARDIS once, and had promptly shut the door and run away. There had been a bear in priest robes, which was almost as bad as what her mother had said to her.
But that wasn’t the important part, the important part was that she was married and that she was about to go on her honeymoon. Hopefully it would be more successful than the last one. It had to be more successful than the last one.
“I still don’t understand why I have to wait,” Amy said, swinging her legs impatiently. She was sitting on the control room sofa - the one she had crossed the universe to liberate from an intergalactic IKEA - waiting for something to happen. Specifically, she was waiting for the Doctor to fulfil his promise and deliver her to a secret location. “I still don’t see why we couldn’t just go to our honeymoon together, you know, like normal people.”
“Because you aren’t normal people...” The Doctor was watching her with a smile on his face. “Neither of you. That’s what makes you so perfect for each other. That, and no one else would have either of you.”
“Gee, thanks.” She was good at sarcasm. She’d always had a very expressive face, ever since childhood. It had got her into a lot of trouble, and out of a lot of trouble; funny how things balance out like that.
“Yeah well, you know me; always happy to help.” His smirk was almost unbearably adorable.
“And you know me; impatient as a four year old. Let’s just go, all we have to do is meet there. Time-travel and all that, I don’t see why we can’t just go know. It won’t make any difference.” She crossed her legs and commended herself for picking such a comfortable sofa. “You can even tell her that stuck to your vow of silence and all that.”
The Doctor’s smirk grew. “Amy Pond, one in a million!”
She raised her eyebrows at him. “One in a million?”
“Well, actually, it’s more like one in forty-four thousand eight-hundred and twenty-billion six-million twenty thousand four hundred and ninety-three. Approximately.” Now he was outright grinning.
“Does this mean we’re leaving now?”
He spun around on the spot and started fiddling with the console.
“Brilliant!” Amy broke into a matching grin and leaped up. “Now can you tell me where we’re going? It’s not like she’s going to know.” She used her especially expressive face to pull the perfect pout. “Go on, you know you want to. You know that you like me more than her anyways...”
He waggled a finger at her, his resolve failing. “Oh... Oh... go on then! But if you tell her that I told you, then I’m not going to pick you up and you can travel by vortex manipulator. And we both know what happened last time.”
Amy squealed and made a cross sign on her chest. There was no way she would risk telling River, not after she had been broken down into free atoms and scattered across the space time continuum. “Cross my heart and hope to die. Now tell me, where are we going?”
~*~
The first thing Amy thought when she stepped out of the TARDIS and into the brilliant sunshine was that she really, really loved River. All the times that she had been promised somewhere hot, somewhere with a beach and a sunlounger and a parasol, every single time she had been disappointed, but not this time. This time, she was actually impressed. There was bright blue sea and a cloudless sky and a... small annoying child in the middle of the otherwise picturesque vision.
“Who brought the kid?” Amy asked, face contorted in displeasure.
The Doctor looked around and shrugged. “It looks pretty deserted to me. Maybe she’s a mirage?” He turned his head on its side and watched as the child slowly approached.
“Why is it coming towards us?” Amy asked, backing away. “Oh God, what if it’s lost and wants our help? It’s supposed to be my honeymoon, no timelords or kids allowed!”
“Err - Amy?” the Doctor said.
“It was just supposed to be me and River, enjoying the benefits of being newlyweds!”
“Amy...”
“No, I am not going to be sucked into another drama!” Amy said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I refuse.”
“Amy...”
“What?!” she snapped.
“Take a closer look at that child,” the Doctor said. “Does she remind you of anyone?”
“Hello, I’m lost, I need some help,” said the small child sensibly.
Amy’s eyes went wide. “Oh. My. God.”
“My name’s River Song, what’s yours?” said the little girl, holding out her hand for Amy to shake. “You’re pretty, are you a princess? I’ve been looking for a princess, I’m on a quest. Every quest has a princess.”
Amy nodded, open mouthed, as the child shook her hand.
“Hello,” said the Doctor, smiling broadly, “I’m the Doctor, and this is Amy. Say hello, Amy.”
“Hello,” said Amy.
“Amy, that’s a very pretty name,” said the young River. “You must be a princess.”
Shaking her head and determined to engage Amy said, “River, now there’s a name fit for a princess.”
River smiled. “Do you really think so? Everyone else usually laughs and says that it’s not even a real name.”
“Oh, it’s definitely a real name,” Amy assured her, “Everyone else is just jealous.”
Little River giggled.
“So,” said the Doctor, bending down until he was level with River, “what brings you to the Forbidden Beach?”
River shrugged. “All the good places are given scary names, it’s because they don’t want you to know how fun they are.”
“But where are your parents?” Amy asked. “You’re a little young to be all on your own.”
“I haven’t got parents,” River said, pouting and crossing her arms.
“Yes you have, I’ve met - I mean, I know you have. So what have they done to make you deny their existence? It can’t be that bad.”
“They’re getting a divorce,” River said, her tone annoyed and babyish.
“You are not eleven!” Amy exclaimed. “You can’t be! You’re tiny! I haven’t been that small since I was about seven!”
Little River pinched her eyes. “Am too!” Then she thought about it. “How do you know how old I am when my parents get divorced?”
Amy froze. “Err...”
“We’re time travellers!” the Doctor said enthusiastically.
“Wow, really?” River asked, rolling her eyes.
“Time travellers aren’t that exciting. There are loads of them about nowadays!” River grumbled. “Mum’s new boyfriend is a time agent.” She huffed. “Stupid marriage. I’m never getting married.”
Amy laughed. “Is that right?”
River nodded emphatically. “Never, ever. Nobody’s ‘happily married’, that’s what Dad says. He says that marriage just makes people unhappy and that if I’m smart then I’ll never get married. He says that everyone who is married is miserable.”
Amy stuck out her hand, showing off her ring. “I’m not miserable. In fact, I’ve never been happier. This is supposed to be my honeymoon.” She smiled as River took hold of her hand and squinted at the ring.
“Are you married to him?” she asked, looking at the Doctor.
Laughing, Amy shook her head. “Definitely not!”
“You can’t have a honeymoon on your own!” River squealed. “That’s not very nice!”
“Yeah well, you should tell her that when she turns up.” Amy grinned.
River nodded, her face serious. “What’s she like?”
Amy sighed contentedly as she thought of her River. “She’s beautiful, smart, kind. She rescues me from danger, she takes me on adventures through time and space to the most romantic places. And she makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Getting married to her is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So don’t say that you’ll never get married, because I swear that when you do, the person you marry will do everything they can to make you happy. Deal?”
River was smiling. “Deal.”
“Now,” said the Doctor, rocking on his heels, “let’s get you home before your parents get worried. How do you fancy a ride in a time machine?”
“Time machines are so old fashioned! Haven’t you got a vortex manipulator?” River asked.
Amy laughed. “Maybe when you’re older.”
Characters/Pairings: River/Amy
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1,500
Summary: Amy's honeymoon - her second - doesn't exactly go to plan.
Notes: For the spoiler_song secret santa ficathon. I don't know who it's for because that information wasn't included in the PM I got but the prompt is: Amy is River’s wife, Amy meets River before River meets her, wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff.
Amy looked at the ring on her finger and smiled. It was the second wedding ring she’d worn; two more than she had even thought she would. She really hoped she wouldn’t make it to three. One wedding had been bad enough; two had been pushing it, but three... definitely not. There was only so many times you could get away with wearing white.
At least, that’s what her mother had told her, just before she walked down the aisle. Not that there was an aisle in a spaceship. Well, not most of the time. She had accidentally stumbled into a chapel in the TARDIS once, and had promptly shut the door and run away. There had been a bear in priest robes, which was almost as bad as what her mother had said to her.
But that wasn’t the important part, the important part was that she was married and that she was about to go on her honeymoon. Hopefully it would be more successful than the last one. It had to be more successful than the last one.
“I still don’t understand why I have to wait,” Amy said, swinging her legs impatiently. She was sitting on the control room sofa - the one she had crossed the universe to liberate from an intergalactic IKEA - waiting for something to happen. Specifically, she was waiting for the Doctor to fulfil his promise and deliver her to a secret location. “I still don’t see why we couldn’t just go to our honeymoon together, you know, like normal people.”
“Because you aren’t normal people...” The Doctor was watching her with a smile on his face. “Neither of you. That’s what makes you so perfect for each other. That, and no one else would have either of you.”
“Gee, thanks.” She was good at sarcasm. She’d always had a very expressive face, ever since childhood. It had got her into a lot of trouble, and out of a lot of trouble; funny how things balance out like that.
“Yeah well, you know me; always happy to help.” His smirk was almost unbearably adorable.
“And you know me; impatient as a four year old. Let’s just go, all we have to do is meet there. Time-travel and all that, I don’t see why we can’t just go know. It won’t make any difference.” She crossed her legs and commended herself for picking such a comfortable sofa. “You can even tell her that stuck to your vow of silence and all that.”
The Doctor’s smirk grew. “Amy Pond, one in a million!”
She raised her eyebrows at him. “One in a million?”
“Well, actually, it’s more like one in forty-four thousand eight-hundred and twenty-billion six-million twenty thousand four hundred and ninety-three. Approximately.” Now he was outright grinning.
“Does this mean we’re leaving now?”
He spun around on the spot and started fiddling with the console.
“Brilliant!” Amy broke into a matching grin and leaped up. “Now can you tell me where we’re going? It’s not like she’s going to know.” She used her especially expressive face to pull the perfect pout. “Go on, you know you want to. You know that you like me more than her anyways...”
He waggled a finger at her, his resolve failing. “Oh... Oh... go on then! But if you tell her that I told you, then I’m not going to pick you up and you can travel by vortex manipulator. And we both know what happened last time.”
Amy squealed and made a cross sign on her chest. There was no way she would risk telling River, not after she had been broken down into free atoms and scattered across the space time continuum. “Cross my heart and hope to die. Now tell me, where are we going?”
~*~
The first thing Amy thought when she stepped out of the TARDIS and into the brilliant sunshine was that she really, really loved River. All the times that she had been promised somewhere hot, somewhere with a beach and a sunlounger and a parasol, every single time she had been disappointed, but not this time. This time, she was actually impressed. There was bright blue sea and a cloudless sky and a... small annoying child in the middle of the otherwise picturesque vision.
“Who brought the kid?” Amy asked, face contorted in displeasure.
The Doctor looked around and shrugged. “It looks pretty deserted to me. Maybe she’s a mirage?” He turned his head on its side and watched as the child slowly approached.
“Why is it coming towards us?” Amy asked, backing away. “Oh God, what if it’s lost and wants our help? It’s supposed to be my honeymoon, no timelords or kids allowed!”
“Err - Amy?” the Doctor said.
“It was just supposed to be me and River, enjoying the benefits of being newlyweds!”
“Amy...”
“No, I am not going to be sucked into another drama!” Amy said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I refuse.”
“Amy...”
“What?!” she snapped.
“Take a closer look at that child,” the Doctor said. “Does she remind you of anyone?”
“Hello, I’m lost, I need some help,” said the small child sensibly.
Amy’s eyes went wide. “Oh. My. God.”
“My name’s River Song, what’s yours?” said the little girl, holding out her hand for Amy to shake. “You’re pretty, are you a princess? I’ve been looking for a princess, I’m on a quest. Every quest has a princess.”
Amy nodded, open mouthed, as the child shook her hand.
“Hello,” said the Doctor, smiling broadly, “I’m the Doctor, and this is Amy. Say hello, Amy.”
“Hello,” said Amy.
“Amy, that’s a very pretty name,” said the young River. “You must be a princess.”
Shaking her head and determined to engage Amy said, “River, now there’s a name fit for a princess.”
River smiled. “Do you really think so? Everyone else usually laughs and says that it’s not even a real name.”
“Oh, it’s definitely a real name,” Amy assured her, “Everyone else is just jealous.”
Little River giggled.
“So,” said the Doctor, bending down until he was level with River, “what brings you to the Forbidden Beach?”
River shrugged. “All the good places are given scary names, it’s because they don’t want you to know how fun they are.”
“But where are your parents?” Amy asked. “You’re a little young to be all on your own.”
“I haven’t got parents,” River said, pouting and crossing her arms.
“Yes you have, I’ve met - I mean, I know you have. So what have they done to make you deny their existence? It can’t be that bad.”
“They’re getting a divorce,” River said, her tone annoyed and babyish.
“You are not eleven!” Amy exclaimed. “You can’t be! You’re tiny! I haven’t been that small since I was about seven!”
Little River pinched her eyes. “Am too!” Then she thought about it. “How do you know how old I am when my parents get divorced?”
Amy froze. “Err...”
“We’re time travellers!” the Doctor said enthusiastically.
“Wow, really?” River asked, rolling her eyes.
“Time travellers aren’t that exciting. There are loads of them about nowadays!” River grumbled. “Mum’s new boyfriend is a time agent.” She huffed. “Stupid marriage. I’m never getting married.”
Amy laughed. “Is that right?”
River nodded emphatically. “Never, ever. Nobody’s ‘happily married’, that’s what Dad says. He says that marriage just makes people unhappy and that if I’m smart then I’ll never get married. He says that everyone who is married is miserable.”
Amy stuck out her hand, showing off her ring. “I’m not miserable. In fact, I’ve never been happier. This is supposed to be my honeymoon.” She smiled as River took hold of her hand and squinted at the ring.
“Are you married to him?” she asked, looking at the Doctor.
Laughing, Amy shook her head. “Definitely not!”
“You can’t have a honeymoon on your own!” River squealed. “That’s not very nice!”
“Yeah well, you should tell her that when she turns up.” Amy grinned.
River nodded, her face serious. “What’s she like?”
Amy sighed contentedly as she thought of her River. “She’s beautiful, smart, kind. She rescues me from danger, she takes me on adventures through time and space to the most romantic places. And she makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Getting married to her is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So don’t say that you’ll never get married, because I swear that when you do, the person you marry will do everything they can to make you happy. Deal?”
River was smiling. “Deal.”
“Now,” said the Doctor, rocking on his heels, “let’s get you home before your parents get worried. How do you fancy a ride in a time machine?”
“Time machines are so old fashioned! Haven’t you got a vortex manipulator?” River asked.
Amy laughed. “Maybe when you’re older.”