Fic: Beauty and the Beast

[lovelylytton]

Title: Beauty and the Beast
A/N: Written for Charlie and V, as a small thank you for being so lovely and supportive at any and all times. I would get each of you a puppy if I could. Instead, I give you non-angsty fic in April. This fic contains nods to all sorts of things, including Charlie’s brilliant Princess Bride fic, Desperate Housewives,

Comments

[ohh_eris]

This is hilarious! It reminds me of V's fic "The Magical Goat" and I love your Kunzite in this how he needs order and won't even treat himself to a second slice of pie! The bit about Nephrite being sober for once and shooting a star out of the sky, and that star being Venus naked and landing in a rosebush-- pure gold! I really love the tone of this story, and the way you describe everything paints an awesome picture in my head.

I love it, thank you for a little antidote to the angst! I hope the next 4 angst prompts will waylay the other couples instead of my favorite heh :X

[lovelylytton]

I love The Magical Goat, it's hilarious! Have you read Charlie's The Other Princess Bride? Because that one is super funny too!

And now that MM is upon us, there is a big fat angst break coming your way, lots of unicorns and love and puppies and chocolate and rainbows.

[alexandritek9]

LMAO! THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER! Made me laugh so hard.

I knew the beast was kunzite the minute it said that everything in the hut was spotless and in perfect order. I KNEW IT!

And the part where venus tells him she likes him and all he cares about is going back to endymion and then HEP PATS HER SHOULDER! LOL, oh kunzite you´re so adorable with your one track mind.

[lovelylytton]

He really does have a one track mind! :D I am so glad that this made you laugh!

[dreams_of_julie]

He he he he cannot stop laughing. Holding stomach almost fell of my bed. I loved ybr whole bit of how kunzite doesent hug and he barley tolerates a handshake priceless and so kunzite!

[lovelylytton]

Yay, thanks, Julie! Very glad I made you laugh!

[ellorgast]

OKAY FIRST OFF. You sneaky woman with your incredible talent. First you whip out the next chapter of RE, and then it turns out you've had this in your back pocket the whole time? Sneaky!

So I realized from the moment you mentioned how clean and straight and perfect the cottage is, that this has to be Kunzite. It can be no one else. Because of Takeshi, you will forever have me view Kunzite as an absolutely immaculate house maintainer. Houses are important. He must have complete control over them.

I would also feel pity for the trees he's about to murder, but thanks to you I now view trees as HORRIFYING MURDEROUS BLOOD SUCKERS so kill the bastards, Kunzite.

Those men have sulking down pat.

BAHAHAHA

He waits a second for Endymion to catch the drift, even arching his brow, but nothing happens and the priest rolls his eyes. Fine. Who wants to be godfather anyway.

POOR IGNORED HELIOS. Sorry dude, you clearly haven't achieved bromance. Endy needs the bromance.

And the gargoyle left the balcony, went inside and walked to his

[ellorgast]

“Because I can go home to Endymion,” he says with feeling, and pats her on the shoulder.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Also Nephrite and his tower of drunkitude.

You are brilliant and I love you. Love!

[lovelylytton]

Spirit, you are beyond adorable. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[lovelylytton]

Because of Takeshi, you will forever have me view Kunzite as an absolutely immaculate house maintainer. Houses are important. He must have complete control over them.
Oh, so is Kain! I still remember the pube moment and subsequent freak-out with fondness!

(Also, if the hut had been Jadeite's, then it would have been hidden in a mountain of trash.)

I THINK NEPHRITE NEEDS TO GIVE YOU A GIRLS 101 LESSON.
I wish someone would write this for MM!

[elianthos]

Noo, Kunzie! Don't slash the trees! Think of your wood (teeeh eeeh)
---
Also... Endy as a serial - literally - cherry popper? XD. Also... thank goodness Helios wasn't appointed godfather of his future wife. Ewww. Spare the pink brat this issue at least XD.
---
This was deliciously saucy Lytton baby <3 .

P.S. : chalk it up to my childhood's imprinting, but nekkid blue-eyed blonde-long-haired beauty in a thorny rose bush... that's straight from the OP of Rose Of Versailles anime to me 8D. Lytton, did they ever broadcast it in Germany? Because it's ANGST&LOVE&PRETTY and girl!power in XVIII century France. A must watch my dear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR3EPigmdJY&feature=related (the thorn bush - thorny vines uhuhhhh - sequence is at the very start of the video. The rest of the video is super-spoilery, but of you're a spoiler-addict like me it gives you a decent sample of the DRAMATIC goodness and flair XD)

[lovelylytton]

Noo, Kunzie! Don't slash the trees! Think of your wood (teeeh eeeh)
---
Also... Endy as a serial - literally - cherry popper? XD
You are the QUEEN of the double entendres!

And yes, of course I know Rose of Versailles! You even recced me some RoV fics a while ago! Just thinking about it makes me want to write Antoinette/von Fersen fic because HELLO HEARTBREAK.