Fic: White (A Narrative Remix)

[lovelylytton]

Title: White (A Narrative Remix)
Summary: Did you ever think Crystal Tokyo was too good to be true? Well. You had that right.
A/N: Remixed Angsty April 2011 piece. The Usagi parts are the same as they are in the original, but those with the other characters have been completely rewritten because this way, I figured I could make it sadder.

Comments

[covenmouse]

damn. That is...creepy and effective. I like a lot :3

One tiny thing I would note, if I may, is that there's a lot of format error with the paragraphing and it makes it very hard to read. (possibly something that LJ messed up, honestly, knowing it.)

[lovelylytton]

Oh dear, you are absolutely right about the paragraphing. I think the problem is that I wrote it in googledocs, where the page layout looks a little different, and c+p apparently didn't quite for this one. I fixed it now (or tried to do so, at least).

And yay for creepy and effective! Glad to hear it!

[jenbunny]

*wails* Lytton! This made me sad the first time I read it and then you went and made it sadder!! My poor heart :( ... but as always I love anything you write ^^ Great work!

[lovelylytton]

Thank you, dearie! :) But I promise, my next fic will be of a happier type!

[charliechaplin2]

Excuse me while I go be emo for a few hours.

D:

[charliechaplin2]

Still emo.

[lovelylytton]

Oh, Charlie! *hugs*
If I wouldn't know that you secretly love being emo because of fics, I would have a bit of a guilty conscience.

[mrcrybrilliance]

I think what hurts the most is that Mercury and Mars honestly believed they could help her, that she wasn't beyond reach. Of course, the scary thing is that Makoto still seems to believe that.

Ok, I need something happy now...

[lovelylytton]

Both Mercury and Mars weren't willing to give her up; they died believing in their friend. *makes sad face*

[mrcrybrilliance]

Yes, they did. And that makes them awesome (though we already knew they were). But it also makes the fact that she killed them that more heartbreaking.

And Zoisite should win the Nobel Prize for Self Sacrifice--going in to talk to Usagi to help find Mars despite what she did to Mercury.

Seriously, they're making sure Jupiter doesn't do the same thing as Mercury and Mars right? Venus does not seem to be in danger of that, but Makoto sure does. And one couple should end relatively happily (though I imagine they'd feel a bit guilty about that too...)

[lovelylytton]

Venus would shut any attempts at saving Usagi down: she is just not as optimistic as Jupiter. And I think Jadeite would be the most vocal opponent to letting anyone else try to save Usagi because his love is dead, and so is Zoisite's.
Poor Mercury and Mars. :(

[satine86]

I knew I shouldn't read it. It killed me the first time and now... now.....

*guzzles whisky*

*huddles in corner and weeps*

[lovelylytton]

Whisky? Oh dear.
I promise to soon deliver happy fic.