disrupted sleep cycles

[lovebeyondstars]

i just wrote a long post and then it deleted. im too angry/sad to try to reform my thoughts.

i just wish you were around at 3:38 am to talk to me, but you're either passed out, or too drunk and incoherent to be what i need right now. your attempt at conveying love just made me sad and eager to talk to you, which i wouldn't allow myself to do. i

Comments

[anonymous]

I wish more than anything that I was around, too. I've had three years with these people; three years of J House parties and intoxicated wastelands. If you need one night from me, I would have been able to handle it. But I was passed out, sicker than I have been in years. Sink, bathroom, couch, repeat. Maybe the two week old Jack and Coke was a bad idea, especially in ten seconds. (Selfishly, I wish like Hell you were there for me like I was there for you.)

I love you. You needed me and I was nowhere to be found and nothing you say will make me feel better about that. Nothing. From now on, I'm keeping my phone on at night, from now on the plague of liquor will not hit me to the point of darkness.

Reform your thoughts. It may help. We can escape in 18 days, die and go to heaven in 27.

...Be strong, in right-wing fashion...