I've been there. Seriously, seriously been there. It's an awful feeling.
I'd suggest finding someone, a therapist or counselor, to talk to. They should be able to give you some tools to break those patterns. I truly believe that we sometimes allow ourselves to fall into destructive patterns, weaving them into our lives so fluidly that we don't even realize we're doing these destructive things.
Therapy really is mostly useless to me I lie tooo much. I had one therapist that I actually liked and mostly told her the truth but still I stopped going just like i do with every other therapist.
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I'd suggest finding someone, a therapist or counselor, to talk to. They should be able to give you some tools to break those patterns. I truly believe that we sometimes allow ourselves to fall into destructive patterns, weaving them into our lives so fluidly that we don't even realize we're doing these destructive things.
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