musesandlyrics | 10.3. Woody Allen quote
10.3. "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
Woody Allen
Co-written with goodcoverstory
[Follows THIS]
Riley was disoriented when he first woke up. It wasn't his bed, and it wasn't his quarters on base. He didn't have purple sheets for one, and he was pretty sure the base hadn't decided on a spontaneous act of Feng Shui while he was out like a light. He let himself wake slowly to get his bearings, and it slowly filtered back to him that he was at Lucie's. No, not Lucie. Nina. He hadn't known her long, but that was going to take a little bit of getting used to. He rubbed at his eyes, waiting to see how he felt physically now he was awake. He felt more rested than he had done recently, and he wondered how long he had been asleep. He looked at his watch, seeing that it was after one pm. He had met Nina in the pharmacy around four in the afternoon, so did that mean he had actually been asleep in her bed for close to twenty hours? "Jesus..." he murmured to himself in disbelief. He must have found some sort of contentment here to go out so deeply like that.
He was just lying there, thinking that it felt too good to actually move yet when Nina went to pass the room, glancing in the doorway to him before the penny must have dropped that he was awake, and she quickly backtracked to come into the bedroom instead of heading up the hall to her original intended destination. Riley smiled up at her from where he was still wrapped up in the mess of purple sheets. "Hey... listen. I owe you an apology," was the first thing he murmured huskily as she approached the bed.
"Don't worry, we didn't do anything. You really did just sleep and I stayed on the sofa. I'm chivalrous like that," Nina replied with a smirk as she sat on the side of the bed next to him. She couldn't help herself as she reached out to brush his hair back from his forehead and the smirk turned into a smile. "I was just thinking about lunch if you were feeling hungry. I'm not brilliant at cooking, but it's edible."
"Sure. I'll give it a shot... soon," Riley agreed, and returned the smile briefly before clearing his throat. "I've been projecting. Badly. Taking my past issues out on you, and it's not been fair. I just wanted to apologise for that. These past few weeks for me have been really stressful. Not just because of my feelings, but because I've been dealing with other people's feelings too, and it's been hard going. Usually I do pretty well running on empty and staying in control, but this time I seem to have fallen off the wagon for some reason. One too many head injuries, I think. I promise, I'm not usually this much of an emo asshole."
Nina let her hand rest on what she assumed was his shoulder under the tangle of the sheets, and held his gaze as she listened. "To be fair, I'm not usually this much of an emo bitch so I guess we both have something to apologise for. Riley, it's okay. Really. I get it. I just wanted to make sure you were alright after that knock to the head. Are you feeling any better? And also, if you really don't want anything with me. If it's too much, you're allowed to say. I won't hold it against you. I don't want to make anything worse. To make your head hurt even more."
Riley put his hand up and rubbed the edge of his fingers across his forehead. "I'm pretty sure it was getting slammed into a brick wall that made my head hurt, but thank you for the offer. It's not needed, I promise. That's the part of my brain I clearly don't understand. I do want something with someone. I feel like I'm ready. It's been nearly a year since my divorce was finalised. I think that's why I so freely slept with Buffy. I needed some sort of intimacy. She was just really the wrong choice. No one can backtrack on the past we have. It was never gonna happen. I was just confused and I guess I was lonely. I feel like I'm ready enough. But then when I take the plunge, I let my head get in the way and mess it all up, don't I? I start accusing you of being like my exes, when that was well out of line, and I'm sorry for that too. I'm ready, but I'm not always so... eloquent when it comes to my heart."
Nina's eyebrows went up before she started to smile and leaned down to kiss Riley's forehead before she kissed his lips. "Do you want to go out on a date with me, Riley Finn? And for the record, of course you're forgiven. You don't need to be eloquent. It's the thought that counts, isn't it? Just be yourself. That's all I'll ever ask. Ironic, I know, given I'm an undercover agent. So just... be yourself as much as you can. Just like you get Nina, not anyone else."
"That's the thing. Maybe I've forgotten how to be myself. I don't know. I sometimes wonder. I don't feel like I've been myself in a long time. Or maybe there is two me's? The work one, who is the easiest to be because it's emotionless a lot of the time, and the other me, who I lost a long time ago? Oh yeah, this is a way to prove to you I'm sane, huh?" Riley said with a groan when he realised how ridiculous he was sounding. "I'm trying to convince you I'm not mental, and probably only emphasising the point by indicating I might have two personalities? Can I keep blaming the head injury here?"
"Blaming the head injury's probably good for at least another five hours. After that, you're on your own. Although if you have two personalities you won't really be on your own, will you?" Nina asked, hardly going to pass up an opportunity to tease him. "But I know what you mean. I really do know what you mean. It's easy for us to get so used to compartmentalising that we're lost when we don't have an excuse for it anymore. Or when we feel a need to stop. To be ourselves. It's a hard habit to break."
Riley smirked. "Knowing my luck, they'll both get annoyed and abandon me anyway. Nothing like screwing up so bad, your multiple personalities even get bored." He hesitantly touched the back of his head where the injury was. It was still sore and tender, and probably would be for a few days, but he was feeling a little less like his brain was detached now. He still couldn't believe he had slept that long, though, and couldn't help but wonder what was going on at the base without him. He knew he should check his phone, but that could wait a little bit longer. "And yes, a date would be really great, to answer your question."
Nina laughed as she ruffled his hair affectionately before shifting to pull back the covers enough to allow her to slip inside the warm cocoon with Riley. Luckily she didn't have cold feet right at that moment, plus her relax at home wear was pretty much what she'd slept in; a pair of sweatpants and a tank top sans bra. She hadn't exactly gotten around to a shower yet, most of her morning spent trying to think of quiet things to do in the sitting room. Riley might have passed out cold, but she wasn't going to be the one to wake him up until it was necessary. In fact, she'd kind of taken it as a compliment that he felt safe and relaxed enough to sleep as much as he had. She found his hand and linked their fingers as she kissed him softly again. "Good. Because if you'd not agreed to the date with me then I might have had to have done something drastic like walk around banging my pots and pans."
"No, no! Please, spare me," Riley begged, but he was laughing as he said it, and then put his arm up on the pillow to rest his head down on it. "Which of course, then I would have to call you Ruprecht with monotnous annoying regularity if you did. I'm pretty sure he's the only one who gets away with banging his pots." He squeezed her hand softly, pausing for a few moments and enjoying Nina's company and the fact that he wasn't feeling completely the best, but he wasn't alone. It had been a long time since anyone but Graham or his team members were around when he felt crap. Other than Buffy when she first showed up, but even then, Riley had tried to hide most of it from her anyway. "By the way... purple sheets?" he teased her, smirking.
Nina nudged his foot with hers as she grinned. "Ruprecht? Now there's a movie reference I haven't heard in a while. Or one I haven't seen in a while. Maybe we could watch it? I'm sure some video store has it over here. And yes, purple sheets! Lucie is a girl's girl," Nina replied as she slipped back into the French accent. "She is happiest with the colour purple surrounding her. This is not a bachelor pad, oui?"
"Why not? It's been a long time since I just sat and watched a film myself. Hell, I think it's been months. Chill out with the guys generally means hitting the bar or the gym. Sometimes the footy field or basketball court if we're feeling adventurous. We've only got one team member married and another with a girlfriend. The rest of us are all single, and take pride in pulling the piss extensively out of them," Riley replied with a laugh. He shifted his foot to entwine his leg in with hers, pulling her a little closer to him. "Mon dieu! Dieu m'en garde! Now I just have to ask what is wrong with a bachelor pad, hm?"
Nina nuzzled in against Riley's neck briefly before pulling back to look at him again. She really had managed to forget just how nice it could be sharing a bed with someone. Having these moments together to just hang out, talk, and cuddle. She moved closer to him willingly. "So maybe that can be our date? Popcorn, movie... purple sheets. Or your place. Whatever you like better. Wow, basketball court! That's some sense of adventure right there, Sergeant. And nothing is wrong with a bachelor pad. When you're a bachelor. But I'm a bachelorette, so my 'pad' doesn't have quite the same vibe."
"Yes, definitely no purple sheets at my place. A dude has an image to maintain, you know. That, and the place was pretty much already stocked with everything I needed when I moved in. Otherwise, I could have totally decided to get in touch with my feminine side." Riley hummed in consideration. "I guess that could work. The only thing is, with you working six days a week, and my schedule, not sure when we would have time for it. I really do have some screwy crap going on right now. Things could literally change in the blink of an eye and have me away for days. My apartment is a good ruse. To be honest, I got into the habit of spending hardly any time there. I have quarters on the base, too. You think my place is a bachelor pad, you should see those digs."
Nina made a show of looking like she was turned on. "Ooh baby, all that camouflage and Spartan decorating scheme always did get me hot. There's nothing wrong with your apartment. I actually like it. Maybe it's just a good chance for you to actually spend some time there and make it feel like a home? Actually, about that working six days a week thing. I'm still casual pretty much. I was never employed full time. It's actually better pay rates like that. So I don't have to take that many shifts. Not if I have other plans. There's also the fact that I can always call up sick. I've never done it before, so my record's clean and I wouldn't be crying wolf." She shrugged a little as she brushed her other hand against his chest. "So it just comes down to you and your screwy crap. I guess I'm the flexible one right now."
Riley pulled a face. "My screwy crap is spontaneous, you could say. The people I'm dealing with operate on their own schedule. Factor into that our hostile victim who isn't particularly hostile on anyone's schedule but his own unless we keep him sedated, things are just all over the place. It's okay, though. So long as things keep on an even keel, my 2IC is more than able to hold the fort. He's been my closest mate for years. I'll just boot him up the ass if he screws up." It was a push of the comment, to say the least. It wouldn't be a fact of Graham screwing up, it would more likely be a fact of Kindred feelings clashing with military. "I think we'll just have to play it by ear, I guess. I've been single the whole time I've been running this Op, so I haven't really had to worry about this sort of thing. Before I came to Paris, I was posted to South Africa."
Nina nodded as she moved even closer to Riley, releasing his hand to slip her arm over his waist so her body was pressed up against his. She was still listening. She could just try and subtly grope him while listening. She was a woman after all, and she was capable of multitasking. "You're lucky to have that sort a person in place as a 2IC. It must be nice to know that you can trust this Graham that much. And to have a close friend like that. Christ, I don't even remember the last time I had a best friend. I've lost touch with a lot of people. It's the risk you run when going deep. But I get it, you know. I won't be one of those women demanding you to make me the centre of your universe. Your work is important, it's hard, it's unpredictable. Breathe easy, soldier. And maybe consider that bath again?"
"I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for Graham. Probably dead. High likelihood that I would be. See, I used to work for a government taskforce in California. Then it was infiltrated and exposed as corrupt. I quit, then. Walked away, tried to forge a normal life. I was fucking kidding myself, though. There were... lingering issues from working with the taskforce, and I had no hope of living a normal life, even after it was burnt to the ground. It was Graham that convinced me that I wasn't cut out for the normal life, and to come back to the Army. I wasn't going to, but things happened and I ended up going back. He was there to pick up the pieces when my relationship with Buffy went down the toilet. He was the one that stopped me drinking myself into an oblivion. I lost count of the amount of times he pried a bottle from my hand in those early days." Riley laughed a little and then rubbed his other hand over his forehead. "That was a hell of a long time ago, but yeah. He's my guy. Total bromance going on there. But you know what? I fucking wish there was a chick that would demand they were the centre of my universe. That's all I want. It's all I've wanted in a long time. Instead, I get chicks who want the universe to revolve around them, and just want me to run up in the wake cheering them on. And you know I'm not going to fit in your bath."
Nina let out a soft breath. "You really want a chick to demand they're the centre of your universe?" She fell quiet again for a moment before she moved her hand to tickle his side. "Then I demand it! I'll demand it in English, and French. But you still need to know that I'll get it if your work has to take first place when things get rough. If it makes you feel better though, I'll quietly plot revenge on all of the military for fucking with our time together since you're probably right about it being sparing. And again, I'm just glad you had someone there for you. I know the divorce, attempted murder... Buffy... none of it was easy for you. No wonder you did try and drink yourself into oblivion. I'll try not to get jealous of the bromance you have going on there, either. It just sounds like I'll have a lot of work ahead of me to get him to trust me with you. I don't want the universe to revolve around me. It's the last thing I want. You are going to fit in my bath! I can't believe you don't fucking believe me. That's just rude."
"I'm six-two," Riley laughed and then held up his hand. "Alright, but you aren't allowed to laugh when I look all awkward in there and things spill over the edge. I'm serious, the last time I tried to get in a bath I fit in from the waist to my shins, and that was with my knees bent. I ended up getting out and having a shower. You know, there is demanding it and actually wanting it. Both of my exes that hurt me insisted I was everything they needed and wanted me to be there for them, and look after them. It wasn't so, though. I just want a relationship where I'm not battling against everything in it, and feeling like a constant failure, or like I'm constantly in the way of higher plans. I can't help it. I'm old school. I wanna be the one to take care of the girl. That just seems like an impossible hope these days. And yeah, you'll have your work cut out for you with Graham. Even after all these years, he's still giving Buffy the Evil Eyeball at every chance he gets."
Nina gave him a find squeeze before she started to laugh softly. "This is just me getting the laughter out now so I don't laugh when you do get in the bath. Promise. And I'm also not going to try and feel total pressure on me right now to make sure I'm not your exes. There aren't any higher plans. Well, not past those the director of the CIA leaves at my feet, and I demand it and want it. Just so you know. I expect you to be giving me foot massages, and handing me tea. Maybe giving me coffee first thing in the morning. Not to mention the gruelling sexual activity schedule I've got in mind. There'll be no escape, Finn. I also expect you to comfort and not judge when I break down crying over romantic movies. Jeez, that guy can really hold a grudge, huh?"
"Did I mention I actually like a bit of a two-way street? A bit of TLC in return? Because I want a lover, not the Queen of Sheeba," Riley laughed, giving her a small teasing poke in the arm. "I like hugs when things are sucking, and I like being spooned when I'm feeling sick. I like cooking meals together in the kitchen, and I like things like showers together, and when chicks wear my clothes. I like when I get little text messages out of the blue saying nothing really at all but just the fact that getting it means they're thinking about me... about us. I like hugging them when things are sucking, and spooning them when they're feeling sick. I like slow sex, and I like missionary position sex, just as much as the hot and heavy stuff. I like when the girl's on top, but I like when she pulls me closer and says my name when I'm on top too. Saying it all out loud, maybe I am expecting too much in return..." He cleared his throat softly. "Not really, he just knows how much she hurt me. I was with her for a long time, she had my whole heart... but she never loved me. It made me feel about as big as a squashed ant when I realised."
"Now look who's all with the demands. Anything else you want to add to that list, tiger? I'm sure I can manage the hugs, the TLC... Truth is I miss the give-take of a real relationship and having a lover. I miss moments like right now. And being able to joke about things while being serious. That whole contradictory thing that the best relationships just seem to be built on because you can just have a laugh about it without feeling insulted. You know?" Nina brushed her fingers over his shoulder and down his arm. "So we're really going to do this? Can I just say... I don't like her by default. Friend, or not, or whatever she is... I'm just going to have to be a bit spiteful as the potential new girlfriend and give her daggers."
Riley gave a small shrug. "First time I've ever said them aloud," he realised, and wasn't sure he felt better for it, either. He had always hoped he would just discover all that one day. He thought he had it in his marriage, and he knew there was a brief period there that Sam did love him back. Until the competitive nature of the job got the better of her. He leaned forward a little and kissed her shoulder before relaxing onto the pillow again. "I guess we're going to try. Here's hoping we get beyond that. I wouldn't worry too much about Buffy. She and I don't seem to be on the same page anymore. I'm not sure there'll be much friendly socialising. She seems to... find it hard to believe I'm friends with her romantic prospect, shall we say." It was the best way he could think to describe it without it getting too messy. And really, the last thing he wanted was Nina getting focused on Buffy for any reason. Riley needed a part of his life to be separate from anything to do with Buffy, even just temporarily.
Nina nuzzled in against Riley's neck as she breathed in his scent and focused on just the feel of his warm body for a moment. They were going to try. For some reason that had her stomach doing a happy little flip, and filling with butterflies. It had been ages since she'd been excited about anything. She even gave a little nervous giggle before burying her face against his chest and trying to stop herself from giggling further like some stupid schoolgirl. "Okay, we're trying. You'll just have to give me a moment while I give in to my girlish tendencies."
"Girlish tendencies?" Riley laughed in confusion and adjusted the covers under his arm. "Are you going to put green squishy stuff on your face and cry over puppies and kittens or something? Please don't. I just managed to get the nausea to quit. I'm not exactly sure what girlish tendencies really mean, but I do know what it sounds extremely scary to think about."
Nina looked up at him with her eyebrows raised before she hit him lightly in the arm. "No! I don't mean that. I just mean giggly and getting excited over the fact that we're trying. Not that I'm about to go writing your name all over my books, or working out what kind of love percentage score we have. I'm just being silly, that's all. No crying over puppies or kittens. Of course after I get over the giggling, I might just slip into the groping phase."
"Groping, huh? We might have a problem there. My doctor strictly told me not to partake in strenuous activities," Riley said with mock seriousness. "Military doctor and all. It could practically be an offense to go against his orders. Her orders. I've seen enough doctors lately to the point they seem to actually all be mingling into together in my memory. That's quite a pathetic thing to admit really," he admitted, scrunching his nose up with an amused snort.
Nina pretended to pout before she started to kiss Riley slowly, letting it linger and making sure it was in no way strenuous. "Then maybe we can just work on that bath. Sitting around in water isn't strenuous, and you might even find that it relaxes you a little bit. Maybe even keep some of those doctors away."
"Just... hang on. Maybe it's making me seem like I'm procrastinating trying to squish my ass into that bath, but you've told me a lot about Lucie, but little to nothing about Nina beyond your job. I think you owe me at least a little bit more information. Especially considering I screwed up our one-on-one game that day with getting all over-emotional and mental." Riley looked over her face, raising his eyebrows a little. "Your family... friends... do they know what you do? Humour me, here. I've still got some time left on that head injury clock."
Nina's own head fell back on the pillow and she pulled his arm up over her in place of the covers, her fingers brushing along the side of it. "Nina Adams. That's my full name. And my family knows what I do. My friends... Are relatively non-existent. Like I said, you have to be willing to give up a huge chunk of you to spend so long undercover. Granted, being a waitress isn't the most demanding of covers but that restaurant is a Mecca for the American tourists in this city. There's been a spike in mysterious deaths, so it's been flagged by the Big Bosses, hence why I'm here. Keep my eyes open and peeled for any leads, any strange occurrences." She glanced at him. "I don't need to tell you that you breathe a word of that, and I might just have to kill you, right?"
"Mysterious deaths?" Riley asked, raising his eyebrows. "What, Americans turning up with their heads ripped off or something? Well, look at it this way. At least your victims are well beyond the hostile stage, right?" he joked, trying to make light of things, even if his interest at 'mysterious' anything was immediately piqued, wondering if he had anything to worry about. "But then this is Paris, and it's a huge tourist destination. Weirdness is going to be inevitably, right? Not everything needs an explanation."
Nina clicked her tongue as she gave a small shake of her head. "That's all you get, soldier. Mysterious deaths. Did I mention I was born in North Carolina?" Nina offered as a way to try and change the subject. She'd already revealed her true identity and the reason she was here. She'd get into serious trouble if she gave Riley the details. "Maybe not everything needs an explanation, but sometimes you still need to look into something before you accept that fact. Just like you working up to trying a relationship again."
"Yeah... sure." The agreement sounded innocent enough, even if he was going to dispatch team members onto finding out what mysterious deaths would call for CIA presence in Paris. Right now, it wasn't any added stress Riley wanted to think about. If the deaths were linked to Kindred, he needed to know about it to fix it, pronto. Hopefully it wasn't a fucking Ventrue with an isolated taste for Americans. The fact they were deaths and not just mysterious injuries were huge. Causing death was a big Kindred no-no. "Me trying to work up to a relationship are like a string of mysterious deaths? Well, thank you. That makes me feel so much more sane now," he joked with a smirk.
Nina had opened her mouth to respond, but Riley's cell phone started to trill loudly in the otherwise silent apartment. She sighed as she rolled away from him, giving the chance to answer it even if she kept a tight hold on his legs with hers. If it wasn't work related then she had every intention of picking up where they'd left off. "It's okay," she told him quietly and nodded to indicate the phone behind him. "I'll only demand some making it up to me later if you have to disappear on me."
Riley was already reaching for the phone. He still hadn't checked his messages, but there had been no incessant calling until he picked up, and no team of soldiers storming in her windows to come demand his presence, so that had to be a positive sign right? He recognised the number. It was work, for sure and he answered with a succinct, "Sergeant Finn." Graham was off as soon as he answered and it caused Riley to sit up quickly in the bed, even if his head was still sore. He just listened, he didn't try to interrupt as Graham started explaining what had just gone down. Riley rubbed a hand over his mouth and then promised Graham he would be right in before ending the call. "I gotta go," he said distractedly, pushing the covers away. Even her talk of making it up to her later went right over his head.
"D'accord. Au revoir, mon amour," Nina murmured as she slipped back into Lucie the moment she knew Riley - the one thing that was Nina's - was going. She pushed back the covers as well, watching him get dressed as she started to remake the bed. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so alone when all Riley was doing was going into work, but like he said, it was unpredictable and she had no idea when she would see him again.
Word Count | 5,073
Woody Allen
Co-written with goodcoverstory
[Follows THIS]
Riley was disoriented when he first woke up. It wasn't his bed, and it wasn't his quarters on base. He didn't have purple sheets for one, and he was pretty sure the base hadn't decided on a spontaneous act of Feng Shui while he was out like a light. He let himself wake slowly to get his bearings, and it slowly filtered back to him that he was at Lucie's. No, not Lucie. Nina. He hadn't known her long, but that was going to take a little bit of getting used to. He rubbed at his eyes, waiting to see how he felt physically now he was awake. He felt more rested than he had done recently, and he wondered how long he had been asleep. He looked at his watch, seeing that it was after one pm. He had met Nina in the pharmacy around four in the afternoon, so did that mean he had actually been asleep in her bed for close to twenty hours? "Jesus..." he murmured to himself in disbelief. He must have found some sort of contentment here to go out so deeply like that.
He was just lying there, thinking that it felt too good to actually move yet when Nina went to pass the room, glancing in the doorway to him before the penny must have dropped that he was awake, and she quickly backtracked to come into the bedroom instead of heading up the hall to her original intended destination. Riley smiled up at her from where he was still wrapped up in the mess of purple sheets. "Hey... listen. I owe you an apology," was the first thing he murmured huskily as she approached the bed.
"Don't worry, we didn't do anything. You really did just sleep and I stayed on the sofa. I'm chivalrous like that," Nina replied with a smirk as she sat on the side of the bed next to him. She couldn't help herself as she reached out to brush his hair back from his forehead and the smirk turned into a smile. "I was just thinking about lunch if you were feeling hungry. I'm not brilliant at cooking, but it's edible."
"Sure. I'll give it a shot... soon," Riley agreed, and returned the smile briefly before clearing his throat. "I've been projecting. Badly. Taking my past issues out on you, and it's not been fair. I just wanted to apologise for that. These past few weeks for me have been really stressful. Not just because of my feelings, but because I've been dealing with other people's feelings too, and it's been hard going. Usually I do pretty well running on empty and staying in control, but this time I seem to have fallen off the wagon for some reason. One too many head injuries, I think. I promise, I'm not usually this much of an emo asshole."
Nina let her hand rest on what she assumed was his shoulder under the tangle of the sheets, and held his gaze as she listened. "To be fair, I'm not usually this much of an emo bitch so I guess we both have something to apologise for. Riley, it's okay. Really. I get it. I just wanted to make sure you were alright after that knock to the head. Are you feeling any better? And also, if you really don't want anything with me. If it's too much, you're allowed to say. I won't hold it against you. I don't want to make anything worse. To make your head hurt even more."
Riley put his hand up and rubbed the edge of his fingers across his forehead. "I'm pretty sure it was getting slammed into a brick wall that made my head hurt, but thank you for the offer. It's not needed, I promise. That's the part of my brain I clearly don't understand. I do want something with someone. I feel like I'm ready. It's been nearly a year since my divorce was finalised. I think that's why I so freely slept with Buffy. I needed some sort of intimacy. She was just really the wrong choice. No one can backtrack on the past we have. It was never gonna happen. I was just confused and I guess I was lonely. I feel like I'm ready enough. But then when I take the plunge, I let my head get in the way and mess it all up, don't I? I start accusing you of being like my exes, when that was well out of line, and I'm sorry for that too. I'm ready, but I'm not always so... eloquent when it comes to my heart."
Nina's eyebrows went up before she started to smile and leaned down to kiss Riley's forehead before she kissed his lips. "Do you want to go out on a date with me, Riley Finn? And for the record, of course you're forgiven. You don't need to be eloquent. It's the thought that counts, isn't it? Just be yourself. That's all I'll ever ask. Ironic, I know, given I'm an undercover agent. So just... be yourself as much as you can. Just like you get Nina, not anyone else."
"That's the thing. Maybe I've forgotten how to be myself. I don't know. I sometimes wonder. I don't feel like I've been myself in a long time. Or maybe there is two me's? The work one, who is the easiest to be because it's emotionless a lot of the time, and the other me, who I lost a long time ago? Oh yeah, this is a way to prove to you I'm sane, huh?" Riley said with a groan when he realised how ridiculous he was sounding. "I'm trying to convince you I'm not mental, and probably only emphasising the point by indicating I might have two personalities? Can I keep blaming the head injury here?"
"Blaming the head injury's probably good for at least another five hours. After that, you're on your own. Although if you have two personalities you won't really be on your own, will you?" Nina asked, hardly going to pass up an opportunity to tease him. "But I know what you mean. I really do know what you mean. It's easy for us to get so used to compartmentalising that we're lost when we don't have an excuse for it anymore. Or when we feel a need to stop. To be ourselves. It's a hard habit to break."
Riley smirked. "Knowing my luck, they'll both get annoyed and abandon me anyway. Nothing like screwing up so bad, your multiple personalities even get bored." He hesitantly touched the back of his head where the injury was. It was still sore and tender, and probably would be for a few days, but he was feeling a little less like his brain was detached now. He still couldn't believe he had slept that long, though, and couldn't help but wonder what was going on at the base without him. He knew he should check his phone, but that could wait a little bit longer. "And yes, a date would be really great, to answer your question."
Nina laughed as she ruffled his hair affectionately before shifting to pull back the covers enough to allow her to slip inside the warm cocoon with Riley. Luckily she didn't have cold feet right at that moment, plus her relax at home wear was pretty much what she'd slept in; a pair of sweatpants and a tank top sans bra. She hadn't exactly gotten around to a shower yet, most of her morning spent trying to think of quiet things to do in the sitting room. Riley might have passed out cold, but she wasn't going to be the one to wake him up until it was necessary. In fact, she'd kind of taken it as a compliment that he felt safe and relaxed enough to sleep as much as he had. She found his hand and linked their fingers as she kissed him softly again. "Good. Because if you'd not agreed to the date with me then I might have had to have done something drastic like walk around banging my pots and pans."
"No, no! Please, spare me," Riley begged, but he was laughing as he said it, and then put his arm up on the pillow to rest his head down on it. "Which of course, then I would have to call you Ruprecht with monotnous annoying regularity if you did. I'm pretty sure he's the only one who gets away with banging his pots." He squeezed her hand softly, pausing for a few moments and enjoying Nina's company and the fact that he wasn't feeling completely the best, but he wasn't alone. It had been a long time since anyone but Graham or his team members were around when he felt crap. Other than Buffy when she first showed up, but even then, Riley had tried to hide most of it from her anyway. "By the way... purple sheets?" he teased her, smirking.
Nina nudged his foot with hers as she grinned. "Ruprecht? Now there's a movie reference I haven't heard in a while. Or one I haven't seen in a while. Maybe we could watch it? I'm sure some video store has it over here. And yes, purple sheets! Lucie is a girl's girl," Nina replied as she slipped back into the French accent. "She is happiest with the colour purple surrounding her. This is not a bachelor pad, oui?"
"Why not? It's been a long time since I just sat and watched a film myself. Hell, I think it's been months. Chill out with the guys generally means hitting the bar or the gym. Sometimes the footy field or basketball court if we're feeling adventurous. We've only got one team member married and another with a girlfriend. The rest of us are all single, and take pride in pulling the piss extensively out of them," Riley replied with a laugh. He shifted his foot to entwine his leg in with hers, pulling her a little closer to him. "Mon dieu! Dieu m'en garde! Now I just have to ask what is wrong with a bachelor pad, hm?"
Nina nuzzled in against Riley's neck briefly before pulling back to look at him again. She really had managed to forget just how nice it could be sharing a bed with someone. Having these moments together to just hang out, talk, and cuddle. She moved closer to him willingly. "So maybe that can be our date? Popcorn, movie... purple sheets. Or your place. Whatever you like better. Wow, basketball court! That's some sense of adventure right there, Sergeant. And nothing is wrong with a bachelor pad. When you're a bachelor. But I'm a bachelorette, so my 'pad' doesn't have quite the same vibe."
"Yes, definitely no purple sheets at my place. A dude has an image to maintain, you know. That, and the place was pretty much already stocked with everything I needed when I moved in. Otherwise, I could have totally decided to get in touch with my feminine side." Riley hummed in consideration. "I guess that could work. The only thing is, with you working six days a week, and my schedule, not sure when we would have time for it. I really do have some screwy crap going on right now. Things could literally change in the blink of an eye and have me away for days. My apartment is a good ruse. To be honest, I got into the habit of spending hardly any time there. I have quarters on the base, too. You think my place is a bachelor pad, you should see those digs."
Nina made a show of looking like she was turned on. "Ooh baby, all that camouflage and Spartan decorating scheme always did get me hot. There's nothing wrong with your apartment. I actually like it. Maybe it's just a good chance for you to actually spend some time there and make it feel like a home? Actually, about that working six days a week thing. I'm still casual pretty much. I was never employed full time. It's actually better pay rates like that. So I don't have to take that many shifts. Not if I have other plans. There's also the fact that I can always call up sick. I've never done it before, so my record's clean and I wouldn't be crying wolf." She shrugged a little as she brushed her other hand against his chest. "So it just comes down to you and your screwy crap. I guess I'm the flexible one right now."
Riley pulled a face. "My screwy crap is spontaneous, you could say. The people I'm dealing with operate on their own schedule. Factor into that our hostile victim who isn't particularly hostile on anyone's schedule but his own unless we keep him sedated, things are just all over the place. It's okay, though. So long as things keep on an even keel, my 2IC is more than able to hold the fort. He's been my closest mate for years. I'll just boot him up the ass if he screws up." It was a push of the comment, to say the least. It wouldn't be a fact of Graham screwing up, it would more likely be a fact of Kindred feelings clashing with military. "I think we'll just have to play it by ear, I guess. I've been single the whole time I've been running this Op, so I haven't really had to worry about this sort of thing. Before I came to Paris, I was posted to South Africa."
Nina nodded as she moved even closer to Riley, releasing his hand to slip her arm over his waist so her body was pressed up against his. She was still listening. She could just try and subtly grope him while listening. She was a woman after all, and she was capable of multitasking. "You're lucky to have that sort a person in place as a 2IC. It must be nice to know that you can trust this Graham that much. And to have a close friend like that. Christ, I don't even remember the last time I had a best friend. I've lost touch with a lot of people. It's the risk you run when going deep. But I get it, you know. I won't be one of those women demanding you to make me the centre of your universe. Your work is important, it's hard, it's unpredictable. Breathe easy, soldier. And maybe consider that bath again?"
"I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for Graham. Probably dead. High likelihood that I would be. See, I used to work for a government taskforce in California. Then it was infiltrated and exposed as corrupt. I quit, then. Walked away, tried to forge a normal life. I was fucking kidding myself, though. There were... lingering issues from working with the taskforce, and I had no hope of living a normal life, even after it was burnt to the ground. It was Graham that convinced me that I wasn't cut out for the normal life, and to come back to the Army. I wasn't going to, but things happened and I ended up going back. He was there to pick up the pieces when my relationship with Buffy went down the toilet. He was the one that stopped me drinking myself into an oblivion. I lost count of the amount of times he pried a bottle from my hand in those early days." Riley laughed a little and then rubbed his other hand over his forehead. "That was a hell of a long time ago, but yeah. He's my guy. Total bromance going on there. But you know what? I fucking wish there was a chick that would demand they were the centre of my universe. That's all I want. It's all I've wanted in a long time. Instead, I get chicks who want the universe to revolve around them, and just want me to run up in the wake cheering them on. And you know I'm not going to fit in your bath."
Nina let out a soft breath. "You really want a chick to demand they're the centre of your universe?" She fell quiet again for a moment before she moved her hand to tickle his side. "Then I demand it! I'll demand it in English, and French. But you still need to know that I'll get it if your work has to take first place when things get rough. If it makes you feel better though, I'll quietly plot revenge on all of the military for fucking with our time together since you're probably right about it being sparing. And again, I'm just glad you had someone there for you. I know the divorce, attempted murder... Buffy... none of it was easy for you. No wonder you did try and drink yourself into oblivion. I'll try not to get jealous of the bromance you have going on there, either. It just sounds like I'll have a lot of work ahead of me to get him to trust me with you. I don't want the universe to revolve around me. It's the last thing I want. You are going to fit in my bath! I can't believe you don't fucking believe me. That's just rude."
"I'm six-two," Riley laughed and then held up his hand. "Alright, but you aren't allowed to laugh when I look all awkward in there and things spill over the edge. I'm serious, the last time I tried to get in a bath I fit in from the waist to my shins, and that was with my knees bent. I ended up getting out and having a shower. You know, there is demanding it and actually wanting it. Both of my exes that hurt me insisted I was everything they needed and wanted me to be there for them, and look after them. It wasn't so, though. I just want a relationship where I'm not battling against everything in it, and feeling like a constant failure, or like I'm constantly in the way of higher plans. I can't help it. I'm old school. I wanna be the one to take care of the girl. That just seems like an impossible hope these days. And yeah, you'll have your work cut out for you with Graham. Even after all these years, he's still giving Buffy the Evil Eyeball at every chance he gets."
Nina gave him a find squeeze before she started to laugh softly. "This is just me getting the laughter out now so I don't laugh when you do get in the bath. Promise. And I'm also not going to try and feel total pressure on me right now to make sure I'm not your exes. There aren't any higher plans. Well, not past those the director of the CIA leaves at my feet, and I demand it and want it. Just so you know. I expect you to be giving me foot massages, and handing me tea. Maybe giving me coffee first thing in the morning. Not to mention the gruelling sexual activity schedule I've got in mind. There'll be no escape, Finn. I also expect you to comfort and not judge when I break down crying over romantic movies. Jeez, that guy can really hold a grudge, huh?"
"Did I mention I actually like a bit of a two-way street? A bit of TLC in return? Because I want a lover, not the Queen of Sheeba," Riley laughed, giving her a small teasing poke in the arm. "I like hugs when things are sucking, and I like being spooned when I'm feeling sick. I like cooking meals together in the kitchen, and I like things like showers together, and when chicks wear my clothes. I like when I get little text messages out of the blue saying nothing really at all but just the fact that getting it means they're thinking about me... about us. I like hugging them when things are sucking, and spooning them when they're feeling sick. I like slow sex, and I like missionary position sex, just as much as the hot and heavy stuff. I like when the girl's on top, but I like when she pulls me closer and says my name when I'm on top too. Saying it all out loud, maybe I am expecting too much in return..." He cleared his throat softly. "Not really, he just knows how much she hurt me. I was with her for a long time, she had my whole heart... but she never loved me. It made me feel about as big as a squashed ant when I realised."
"Now look who's all with the demands. Anything else you want to add to that list, tiger? I'm sure I can manage the hugs, the TLC... Truth is I miss the give-take of a real relationship and having a lover. I miss moments like right now. And being able to joke about things while being serious. That whole contradictory thing that the best relationships just seem to be built on because you can just have a laugh about it without feeling insulted. You know?" Nina brushed her fingers over his shoulder and down his arm. "So we're really going to do this? Can I just say... I don't like her by default. Friend, or not, or whatever she is... I'm just going to have to be a bit spiteful as the potential new girlfriend and give her daggers."
Riley gave a small shrug. "First time I've ever said them aloud," he realised, and wasn't sure he felt better for it, either. He had always hoped he would just discover all that one day. He thought he had it in his marriage, and he knew there was a brief period there that Sam did love him back. Until the competitive nature of the job got the better of her. He leaned forward a little and kissed her shoulder before relaxing onto the pillow again. "I guess we're going to try. Here's hoping we get beyond that. I wouldn't worry too much about Buffy. She and I don't seem to be on the same page anymore. I'm not sure there'll be much friendly socialising. She seems to... find it hard to believe I'm friends with her romantic prospect, shall we say." It was the best way he could think to describe it without it getting too messy. And really, the last thing he wanted was Nina getting focused on Buffy for any reason. Riley needed a part of his life to be separate from anything to do with Buffy, even just temporarily.
Nina nuzzled in against Riley's neck as she breathed in his scent and focused on just the feel of his warm body for a moment. They were going to try. For some reason that had her stomach doing a happy little flip, and filling with butterflies. It had been ages since she'd been excited about anything. She even gave a little nervous giggle before burying her face against his chest and trying to stop herself from giggling further like some stupid schoolgirl. "Okay, we're trying. You'll just have to give me a moment while I give in to my girlish tendencies."
"Girlish tendencies?" Riley laughed in confusion and adjusted the covers under his arm. "Are you going to put green squishy stuff on your face and cry over puppies and kittens or something? Please don't. I just managed to get the nausea to quit. I'm not exactly sure what girlish tendencies really mean, but I do know what it sounds extremely scary to think about."
Nina looked up at him with her eyebrows raised before she hit him lightly in the arm. "No! I don't mean that. I just mean giggly and getting excited over the fact that we're trying. Not that I'm about to go writing your name all over my books, or working out what kind of love percentage score we have. I'm just being silly, that's all. No crying over puppies or kittens. Of course after I get over the giggling, I might just slip into the groping phase."
"Groping, huh? We might have a problem there. My doctor strictly told me not to partake in strenuous activities," Riley said with mock seriousness. "Military doctor and all. It could practically be an offense to go against his orders. Her orders. I've seen enough doctors lately to the point they seem to actually all be mingling into together in my memory. That's quite a pathetic thing to admit really," he admitted, scrunching his nose up with an amused snort.
Nina pretended to pout before she started to kiss Riley slowly, letting it linger and making sure it was in no way strenuous. "Then maybe we can just work on that bath. Sitting around in water isn't strenuous, and you might even find that it relaxes you a little bit. Maybe even keep some of those doctors away."
"Just... hang on. Maybe it's making me seem like I'm procrastinating trying to squish my ass into that bath, but you've told me a lot about Lucie, but little to nothing about Nina beyond your job. I think you owe me at least a little bit more information. Especially considering I screwed up our one-on-one game that day with getting all over-emotional and mental." Riley looked over her face, raising his eyebrows a little. "Your family... friends... do they know what you do? Humour me, here. I've still got some time left on that head injury clock."
Nina's own head fell back on the pillow and she pulled his arm up over her in place of the covers, her fingers brushing along the side of it. "Nina Adams. That's my full name. And my family knows what I do. My friends... Are relatively non-existent. Like I said, you have to be willing to give up a huge chunk of you to spend so long undercover. Granted, being a waitress isn't the most demanding of covers but that restaurant is a Mecca for the American tourists in this city. There's been a spike in mysterious deaths, so it's been flagged by the Big Bosses, hence why I'm here. Keep my eyes open and peeled for any leads, any strange occurrences." She glanced at him. "I don't need to tell you that you breathe a word of that, and I might just have to kill you, right?"
"Mysterious deaths?" Riley asked, raising his eyebrows. "What, Americans turning up with their heads ripped off or something? Well, look at it this way. At least your victims are well beyond the hostile stage, right?" he joked, trying to make light of things, even if his interest at 'mysterious' anything was immediately piqued, wondering if he had anything to worry about. "But then this is Paris, and it's a huge tourist destination. Weirdness is going to be inevitably, right? Not everything needs an explanation."
Nina clicked her tongue as she gave a small shake of her head. "That's all you get, soldier. Mysterious deaths. Did I mention I was born in North Carolina?" Nina offered as a way to try and change the subject. She'd already revealed her true identity and the reason she was here. She'd get into serious trouble if she gave Riley the details. "Maybe not everything needs an explanation, but sometimes you still need to look into something before you accept that fact. Just like you working up to trying a relationship again."
"Yeah... sure." The agreement sounded innocent enough, even if he was going to dispatch team members onto finding out what mysterious deaths would call for CIA presence in Paris. Right now, it wasn't any added stress Riley wanted to think about. If the deaths were linked to Kindred, he needed to know about it to fix it, pronto. Hopefully it wasn't a fucking Ventrue with an isolated taste for Americans. The fact they were deaths and not just mysterious injuries were huge. Causing death was a big Kindred no-no. "Me trying to work up to a relationship are like a string of mysterious deaths? Well, thank you. That makes me feel so much more sane now," he joked with a smirk.
Nina had opened her mouth to respond, but Riley's cell phone started to trill loudly in the otherwise silent apartment. She sighed as she rolled away from him, giving the chance to answer it even if she kept a tight hold on his legs with hers. If it wasn't work related then she had every intention of picking up where they'd left off. "It's okay," she told him quietly and nodded to indicate the phone behind him. "I'll only demand some making it up to me later if you have to disappear on me."
Riley was already reaching for the phone. He still hadn't checked his messages, but there had been no incessant calling until he picked up, and no team of soldiers storming in her windows to come demand his presence, so that had to be a positive sign right? He recognised the number. It was work, for sure and he answered with a succinct, "Sergeant Finn." Graham was off as soon as he answered and it caused Riley to sit up quickly in the bed, even if his head was still sore. He just listened, he didn't try to interrupt as Graham started explaining what had just gone down. Riley rubbed a hand over his mouth and then promised Graham he would be right in before ending the call. "I gotta go," he said distractedly, pushing the covers away. Even her talk of making it up to her later went right over his head.
"D'accord. Au revoir, mon amour," Nina murmured as she slipped back into Lucie the moment she knew Riley - the one thing that was Nina's - was going. She pushed back the covers as well, watching him get dressed as she started to remake the bed. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so alone when all Riley was doing was going into work, but like he said, it was unpredictable and she had no idea when she would see him again.
Word Count | 5,073