Fic

[faithinthepoor]

Title: Genesis
Author: faithinthepoor
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: mild R (maybe)
Warnings: None that I can think of
Disclaimer: Sadly they are not mine.
AN : Set following Extinction and although it technically follows my drabbles it should also work fine as a stand alone piece.



Genesis

Kahlan was initially taken aback when Cara turned and all but ran from her but it only took a few moments for her to realise that fleeing is completely in Cara’s nature. There is little that frightens Cara, she would stand alone against an army without a second thought, but having someone know that she nurtured a fragile wisp and thought the birth of its children was beautiful would be something that truly terrifyied her. For a woman who would have let Darken Rahl crush the wisp rather than be held to ransom it must have seemed ridiculous to put so much time and energy into saving the creature. Kahlan is sure that if she were given a choice Cara would have let the wisp die and invested her time walking the world to try and find another one.

The fact that Cara went against all of her instincts means that Kahlan can easily forgive her inappropriate egress. She limps off after Cara and finds that the feeling of warmth in her heart helps to combat the pain in her leg. To her surprise she finds Cara waiting for her along the trial.

Cara is holding a branch which she offers to Kahlan, “You should use this.”

“I can walk alone,” for some reason the thought that Cara feels the need to help her irritates Kahlan.

“You do not possess the necessary stills to suppress your pain and we shouldn’t delay our return to Richard.”

The mention of Richard serves to further irritate Kahlan, “You don’t need to protect me. If you are worried that he is in danger you should go on ahead.”

Cara shakes her head slightly and a flash of pain crosses her face, “It would be better for us to stay together but if you insist on me leaving I will.”

For someone who is meant to be tuned to people’s emotions Kahlan often feels blind when it comes to dealing with Cara. She silently berates herself for not realising that the offer of the walking stick was Cara’s way of saying that she didn’t want to be alone. She wants to reach out and touch Cara but she knows that this is likely to cause Cara to go sprinting back to Richard and Zed. She settles for placing the branch under her arm. “We had best get moving then.”

“Not yet,” Cara replies and when Kahlan looks at her quizzically Cara removes the pack from Kahlan’s back, “you will move more efficiently without the excess weight.”

Kahlan doesn’t protest and she doesn’t thank Cara either and both of these things seem to meet with approval. They set off together in what seems to be companionable silence. She does her best to keep a reasonable pace but by the time the sun falls below the tree line the muscles in her calf have seized and the skin under her arm has been rubbed raw. She bites the inside of her cheek and tries to keep going.

Kahlan had felt that she was keeping her discomfort hidden but Cara turns to her with hands on her hips and states, “Clearly you can not keep going.”

“I’m fine,” she replies. She knows the sacrifices Cara made in order to save the night wisp and she really doesn’t want to disappoint her.

Cara rolls her eyes, “That was not an opening for conversation it was an assessment of the situation.”

“Maybe so but I know that you are thinking that if I were a Mord’Sith I would be able to keep going.”

“If you were a Mord’Sith I would have left you behind to die.”

Kahlan knows that Cara’s statement is a little dramatic, after all she is not likely to die of her injury and Richard would definitely return for her if she were left behind, but it’s still a frightening insight into the world that Cara came from. “If I am holding you back you can go on with out me.”

“Good. I thought you would argue if I suggested that I go on ahead.” Kahlan had uttered her words as a joke but she doesn’t know what to say now that Cara has taken her seriously. Cara seems to sense her quandary and grasps Kahlan’s upper arm firmly, “I only mean to try and find a way to transport you more easily. I’ll come back for you.”

“I never doubted that you would.”

Cara stares at her strangely, “You should doubt me. I have no fealty to you.”

“Perhaps not but Richard ordered you to stay with me.”

“Yes he did,” Cara grumbled.

“If you want I will release you from that burden.”

“I would never hear the end of it from Richard and Zed if I came back without you.”

“Well it’s good to know that there is a reason for you to keep me safe.”

“I also need you around to talk to them about their thoughts and feelings because I’m not going to do it,” Cara smiles at her.

“No. You only do that for night wisps,” Kahlan had meant her comment to be light hearted but it melted Cara’s smile away.

“I’ll get going but I’ll be back soon. I promise.” With that Cara was off and running.

Kahlan closed her eyes and cursed herself for being foolish enough to make reference to Cara’s well hidden softer side and tried to set off after her. The brief pause seemed to have allowed her body to revolt and her pain’s now close to unbearable. She stumbles along anyway, determined to not to be found in the same spot that Cara left her.

She does manage to make progress but she is annoyed to note that at the very moment Cara returns she is having a brief rest against a tree. Kahlan feels a little defensive to appear so weak and vulnerable and so she chooses to focus on the fact that Cara has returned empty handed, “I thought you’d come with a horse or a cart or at least a litter.”

Cara seems immune to the criticism, “I found a town. It’s not far from here.”

“So you thought you’d come and watch me hobble my way there?”

“I plan to carry you.”

“Don’t be absurd. I can make it on my own.”

“Why would you refuse the sensible option?”

“Would you let me carry you?”

A strange look graced Cara’s face in response to Kahlan’s words but her response is pure Cara, “A Mord’Sith would not be slowed by pain.”

Kahlan sighs. She realises that this is a pointless debate. Cara’s logic is rigid and Kahlan will not be able to crack it. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I left the packs behind to make it easier but I could have easily carried both them and you.”

“You have to promise not to tell Richard about this.”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Cara looks mortified at the thought.

She allows herself to be hoisted onto Cara’s back and wraps her arms around her neck. “Let me know if I am holding you too tight.”

“I’ll be happy so long as you don’t whimper and complain with every little bump we encounter.”

“I’ll do my best,” Kahlan replies and she means it. Clinging to Cara’s back is certainly move effective than her previous method of ambulation but it’s also awkward in a way that she doesn’t want to think about and she is glad that no one is there to witness the spectacle.

Night has fallen by the time they reach the town and even though it is dark Cara stops on the outskirts and lowers Kahlan to the ground. “I thought it better that you walk into town under your own power.”

Kahlan can’t disagree but letting go of Cara leaves her with a sense of loss. “I might still need some help. We left the stick behind.” She expects Cara to scout around for another one but Cara simply grabs Kahlan’s arm and puts it around her shoulders. Kahlan allows Cara to bear some of weight and in that way they make a successful, but rather ungraceful, entrance.

They arrive at a tavern and smell of food causes Kahlan to instantly salivate. She wants to ask if they can have a hot meal but she knows that Cara will point out that they have bread and cheese in their packs and that it is pointless to waste money. Cara assists her to a table and then offers to get them some drinks.

She is weary and the intoxicating smell of food and alcohol does not seem to be assisting with the situation but she is seated and few things have ever felt so wonderful in her life. Apparently a women sitting alone in this tavern is an invitation for all men to approach. She is attempting to be polite but she really doesn’t have the energy for small talk or for fighting off unwanted attention. The crowd are a little rowdy and her requests to be left alone are being ignored. Before she knows it there are two louts sitting on her bench and another four sitting opposite. She has no idea how she is going to get them to leave and half suspects that they are going to end up fighting one another for affection that she is not actually giving out.

It turns out that she needed have worried as although she had gotten no closer to a solution the problem evaporates the instant Cara returns with their drinks. Everything about Cara’s expression and her leathers screamed back off but in case there was any doubt Cara places a possessive hand on Kahlan’s shoulder. On one level she resents being treating like property but she has to confess that there is something very appealing about the idea of belonging to Cara.

She downs her ale quicker than is sensible and Cara quickly goes to get her a refill. This time the men only stare at her, she is sure that many of them are imagining her naked but they do not approach. Even though they have kept their distance Cara shoots them a death glare upon her return. The Mord’Sith then places a tankard in front of Kahlan and sips quietly at her own.

There is much that she wants to say to Cara but she feels that it’s safer to remain silent. She decided to focus on her drink even though she is aware that this plan may ultimately make it difficult to avoid talking in the long run. She is about half way through her second ale when a plate of stew lands in front of her. She looks over at Cara who is already dunking bread into her own dish.

“What?” Cara asks with raised eyebrows and a mouth full of bread.

“Thank you for this.”

“I thought we deserved it,” Cara shrugged and returned her attention to her food.

The stew is nothing special but it's warm and hearty and to Kahlan it tastes amazing. Sometimes it’s seems impossible to think that her place is meant to be in Aydindril, that world seems so divorced from her life. She’s not sure that the Mother Confessor should be someone who is accustomed to sleeping on the ground or so taken with a simple meal. She can only hope that, when they defeat The Keeper, her lived experiences will make her more compassionate and more understanding and will help her in her role.

When her meal is finished she feels it’s time that they make a move, “We should get going.”

“We don’t have anywhere to be.”

Thoughts of Richard and the rift fill her mind but all she says is, “We have to find somewhere to sleep.”

Cara looks away and it might just be the dim light in the tavern but Kahlan could swear that she is blushing, “We have a room here tonight.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she is surprised at Cara’s extravagance.

“We saved a race today. I think that means we deserve a roof over our head for the night.”

She really can’t find a flaw in Cara’s argument nor can she find a reason to object when Cara suggests that they have another drink before they retire. That drink manages to multiply and Kahlan remains silent on the matter. Cara still seems like she could kill a man with a look alone, and every time a man glances their way Kahlan fears that this might actually happen, but Kahlan is fairly sure that what she is witnessing is a relaxed and happy version of the Mord’Sith. It is certainly a version of Cara who is less concerned with personal space than usual as she is sitting so close to Kahlan that is unlikely that air is able to pass between them.

Her proximity to Cara is causing Kahlan some conflict but she has to admit that the ale is helping to lesson her burden. It turns out that it’s possible that the ale is helping a little too much as it leads her to place her hand on Cara’s thigh. This causes Cara to move away from her and suggest that it is time for them to call it a night. She was a little worried that Cara would avoid all contact with her after her unwanted display of affection but she does receive assistance to get up the stairs.

Cara places her on the bed and then begins to move bedding from her pack. “What are you doing?” Kahlan inquires.

“I think it’s best that I sleep on the floor.”

“You didn’t get us a proper bed just so you could sleep on the floor.”

“I have no problem with sleeping on the ground.”

“Well neither do I and you know that.”

“You’re injured,” Cara counters.

“As far as I am aware my ankle has not swelled to the size that it needs its own bed.”

“Are you going to let this go?”

“Not until you come to bed,” Kahlan didn’t realise how suggestive what she was saying was until the words had already left her mouth.

“Well I do want to get some sleep and I don’t want to spend the whole night arguing,” Cara states practically. She then moves to the bed and lies down with her back to Kahlan.

Kahlan attempts to investigate her war wounds and hisses as she checks her arm. Cara immediately springs up and comes to sit beside her.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Kahlan replies, “the walking stick rubbed some skin off. I’ll be fine.”

“I should have padded it.”

“You went to the trouble to find me a stick that was pretty much perfect for my height. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

“You could ask for the walking aid not to injure you. Let me see.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary.

“Kahlan I am not asking you to get naked I just want to look under you arm.”

“Fine,” she attempts to loosen her top but the thought of being naked around Cara seems to have made her hands tremble.

“We don’t have all night,” Cara says as she pushes Kahlan’s hands out of the way and attends to the laces herself.

Kahlan holds her breath and thinks that this is not the way that Cara should be taking her clothes off. Her second thought is that she shouldn’t be thinking about Cara undressing her at all. Her next thought is that she is glad that Richard isn’t her to see what’s going on forcing her to wonder whether there is something wrong with her priorities.

While Kahlan has been busy having a crisis of conscience Cara has been busy in the clothing removal department and fingers probe at the raw flesh under Kahlan’s arm causing her to hiss again. “We should try to get you a poultice,” Cara informs.

“It’s hardly fatal.”

“It might be if it gets infected.”

“I’ll make sure to keep it clean.”

“You’ll have to use a cane tomorrow instead of a crutch.”

“Or you could just carry me.” She should not be saying these things. She shouldn’t have had so much to drink and she definitely shouldn’t be drunk and semi clad and on a bed with Cara.

“We will not be making a habit of that.”

“Are you trying to tell me that I am heavy?”

“Well you are certainly heavier than my pack.”

“Duly noted.” Clearly one should not go fishing for compliments from Cara. Not that that is what Kahlan was doing. She has no need for compliments from Cara.

“You need to get out of your dress.” Kahlan’s mind starts swimming but thankfully Cara continues, “That wound should air as much as it can before we have to travel again.” Cara goes to Kahlan’s pack and pulls out her bed shift and throws it to her.

It been a while since she had a chance to sleep in proper attire and she finds the thought strangely liberating. However the thought of changing in front of Cara is a lot more troublesome. Thankfully Cara removes herself from the equation, well as much as is possible in the confines of the room, and returns to her previous position on the bed.

Kahlan gets changed and settles down onto the bed. She lies in silence for a while but decides that there are things that should be said that if she doesn’t address them now she never will. “I’m very grateful for what you did today.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Cara what you did was incredible.”

“I won’t deny that what I saw was amazing and I really do wish you could have been there with me.”

“I would have liked that.”

“I think the wisp would have liked it too. I don’t think she thought all that much of me.”

“You kept her alive and you saved her babies. I’m sure she thought well of you.”

“I wasn’t exactly drowning in praise.”

“You spoke to her and you learned her language that alone deserves praise.”

“She was a nosy little thing. She certainly seemed to have a lot of opinions about you.”

“The two of you spoke about me?” the thought thrills her more than it should.

Cara is still facing away but Kahlan can see her body tense, “The wisp spoke about a lot of things. She was rather intrusive.”

“Did she make you uncomfortable?”

“Well she wasn’t asking me about marriage and sex so I guess I got off easier than you.”

“You were listening to that?”

“Kahlan I was standing next to you, it was impossible not to hear but what goes on between you and Richard is none of my business.”

“My feelings for Richard are not a secret but it’s hard to think that we have a real future together.”

“Based on your reckoning it’s hard to think that you have a future with anyone.”

This is hardly news to Kahlan but it still feels like a blow to have someone say it out loud. “I guess that’s true.”

“Maybe it would be easier if you learnt to separate sex and love. My Mord’Sith training has some advantages in that regard. Perhaps I could teach you.”

“I’ve always been taught that sex is better when you love the person.”

“Why would people tell you that when you it seems that it could never be an option for you?”

She’d never really thought about that but she has to admit that Cara has a point. “Does that hold true for you?”

“Does what hold true?”

“That love doesn’t matter when it comes to sex?”

“I don’t know. I can’t think of any sex that I’ve had that hasn’t been pleasurable.”

“Lucky you,” Kahlan replies with a level of spite that is beneath her.

“I have cared about people but I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with anyone that I love.”

“I assume you think that love is unnecessary and that it makes you weak.”

Cara turns over to face Kahlan, “I have no idea whether it’s necessary or not but it certainly makes you weak.”

“It’s ok,” she says softly. “I know how you feel about Richard. It must have driven you crazy that he ordered you to leave his side and come with me.”

“Richard frequently makes me crazy,” Cara replies, “but I didn’t learn a language and talk about my emotions for him.”

“You did that to save the night wisp.”

“Did I?” Cara asks enigmatically.

“Are you saying what I think you are saying?”

“You don’t need to worry about it. I know my place and how you feel about him.”

“But he is your Lord Rahl.”

“Yes and as such I follow him out of duty. I have no duty to a Confessor and yet I save you all the time.”

“Hey, we save one another.”

“Yes we do,” Cara’s smile deepens. “My point is that I save you because I choose to, not because I have to.”

“Well I have to say that I am grateful that you make that choice.”

“It’s ok Kahlan, I will still save you even if you and Richard find a way to be together or join in some sort of sexless matrimony.”

“Who says I want to marry Richard?”

“You do. All the time. You are forever banging on and on about your deep love and connection. You even had a conversation about him and marriage and little Cypher babies with the wisp.”

“I do have deep feelings for him. I feel like our future is written and that I’m fated to be with him.”

“You make it sound like you don’t want that but we both know that you love him.”

“I do love him. I love him very much. I can’t imagine a life with out him.”

“Well that kind of settles it then.”

“It should, shouldn’t it?

“Are you saying that it doesn’t?”

She closes her eyes and launches herself into an abyss, “I have lots of feelings for him but I don’t really feel the need to tear his clothes off.”

“Of course you do.”

“Oh so apparently I don’t know how I feel?”

“When you were split in two you made it clear that you very much want to remove his clothes.”

“That wasn’t me.”

“She was annoying and harped on about her feelings. I’d say she was you.”

“And I’m sure you like the cold version of me much better.”

“She was impressive,” Cara states wistfully.

“Then I am sorry that I can’t be more like her.”

“Kahlan you don’t need to be like her. I will strike you with my agiel if ever repeat this but impressive as she was she wasn’t all that you are.”

She never imagined that she would ever hear anything like that from Cara and she reaches up and strokes her face. “You sort of missed the point of me saying that Richard wasn’t the one I want to rip clothes off.”

Cara grabs Kahlan by the hips and pulls her closer, “That better mean what I think it means.”

“Off course it does,” Kahlan barely bets the words out before her lips are covered by Cara’s. She surrenders to the kiss for longer than she feels wise but is eventually forced to push Cara away. “I might want you but this can’t happen.”

“I don’t like that might or that can’t,” Cara pouts.

“I want you so much but we both know how this ends.”

“You don’t know that. You haven’t even tried.”

“I will not risk your life of your soul.”

“Would you rather risk Richard’s?”

“In a way I would. He may lose his soul but I wouldn’t cause him the painful death that I would cause you.”

“Then you should choose him and live unhappily ever after. At least he can give you marriage and children.”

“Cara it’s not about that. Besides he might be able to give me a child but together we had millions of babies today.”

“Yes we did,” the smirk on Cara’s face is almost insufferable.

“Don’t get all caught up in your own prowess.”

“Not many people are going to be able to say they gave you millions of beautiful little babies,” Cara rolls herself on top of Kahlan.

Kahlan swallows and tries to calm her breathing, “What we are doing is too risky.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be.”

“What are you going to do? Kill me before I have the chance to confess you.”

“The thought had crossed my mind.”

“Seriously?”

“I can bring you back.”

“I can’t believe you’ve thought about this.”

“I’ve thought about it. I’ve also thought about cutting off your hands but I’m not sure that sex with me wouldn’t be so powerful that it would force y6u into the Con Dar. For the same reason I’m not sure that just tying you up would be safe.”

“It worries me that the cutting off of my hands comes before the option of tying me up.”

“Would you let me tie you up?” Cara asks as she pushes her thigh between Kahlan’s legs.

“I would let you do most things to me if I didn’t think that one of us would die.”

Cara lifts her hand and runs it over Kahlan’s breast, “I like the sound of that.”

Kalhan bites down on her own lip, “We can’t do this it isn’t safe.”

“You know there is one sure way that we can do this that wouldn’t involve death.”

“I know what you talking about and yes I would let you do it.”

“I hate the thought of you having to wear one of those.”

“Not as much as I do but I trust that you would remove the Rada’Han when it’s not necessary.”

“I hope you know that when we get our hands on one I am not going to let you out of it for days and days,”

“I think that’s a sacrifice that I could make.”

“I just wish I thought I was prepared to wait until then.” Cara emphasises her statement by rocking her hips against Kahlan’s leg and kissing her passionately.

Kahlan’s head feels light and she moans as Cara’s teeth sink into her neck. She is close to losing all reason but she manages to push Cara back. “We can’t do this.”

The Mord’Sith is being held back by her shoulders and her eyes are dark as she continues to rock against Kahlan, “It is worth dying for.”

Kahlan rolls onto her side and holds Cara’s face between her hands, “Then it’s worth living for too.”

Cara literally growls and then says, “This is so unfair.”

“I promise you we will find a way.”

“I’m sick of searching for things - meanings of scrolls, stones - I don’t want to have to search for a Rada’Han as well.”

“If you care about me you will.”

“You don’t fight fair,” Cara complains.

“But I’ll fight for us,” Kahlan says and worms her way into Cara’s arms.

Cara holds Kahlan tightly and places a gentle kiss on the top of her head, “I think you may be the most dangerous creature that I have ever met.”

“Then it’s a good thing that I’m yours isn’t it.”

“Yes it is and don’t you forget it.”

“I couldn’t even if I tried,” and she means that more than she ever imagined. Cara may well be the antithesis of everything that Kahlan should want but there is no denying that Kahlan is completely and utterly in love with her. She snuggles against Cara and inhales the smell of her leathers and knows without a doubt that there is nothing than can ever come between them.